Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Two vast and trunkless legs of stone => Topic started by: Q. G. Pennyworth on April 11, 2019, 06:11:46 PM

Title: The Future Is Bad For You
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on April 11, 2019, 06:11:46 PM
The Future is Bad For You

I have some bad news for you folks. The Future isn't coming, it's already here.

And you're not halfway ready for it.

The Future has all the Wrong Values, and doesn't regret anything. The Future thinks "profit" and "nationality" make about as much sense as hats with buckles on. The Future doesn't have any fucking time for your business model, because it already chewed up and spat out five other companies like you last week and it's SO BORED with that now.

The Future doesn't need flying cars, because it has phone watches and 3D printers and never needs to be alone or ignorant again unless it chooses to be. The Future already has an improvement on the improvement to your greatest achievements, and it was released last week open source.

The Future is a hypocrite, and it's going to make sure that you know you're one, too. The Future is full of Causes and the ones that resonate with Freedom and Civil Rights and Equality will survive and the ones that come from dusty old books will die with the last generation that knows what a dial-up modem sounded like. The Future is going to come down on you like a ton of bricks.

But maybe it's not all bad.

If you can listen to The Future, it will sing you a song of things to come. Of art and culture and plenty. Ideas bouncing off one another, interacting, giving birth to strange new abominations and games that look like reality and a reality that's made of nothing but games. The Future wants to have fun, and it has the means to make it happen. The Future writes itself.

If you learn to swim with The Future, you will see yourself changing. Old identities -- and even the concept of identity -- are sloughed off and replaced with costumes that are easily worn and removed as appropriate (or amusing). Core convictions that once filled whole mountainsides in engraved text now fit inside a locket, and are worn close to the heart. The Future doesn't believe in money, and you'd be amazed how much that will save you.

So, consider us your ambassadors from The Future, the terrible world that's right outside your door. Coffee and sandwiches are on the wall to your left.

It's going to be a very long week.
Title: Re: The Future Is Bad For You
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 11, 2019, 08:52:59 PM
 :eek: :mittens: :eek:
Title: Re: The Future Is Bad For You
Post by: Fujikoma on April 11, 2019, 10:52:07 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 11, 2019, 08:52:59 PM
:eek: :mittens: :eek:
Title: Re: The Future Is Bad For You
Post by: Al Qədic on April 12, 2019, 01:05:10 AM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on April 11, 2019, 06:11:46 PM
If you can listen to The Future, it will sing you a song of things to come.
Does it sound anything like this? https://youtu.be/fncfIrjjMgo



But on a serious note. :mittens:
Title: Re: The Future Is Bad For You
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on April 12, 2019, 02:28:48 AM
 :mittens:
Title: Re: The Future Is Bad For You
Post by: Fujikoma on April 12, 2019, 02:35:11 AM
This is good as hell. You should write a lovecraftian forbidden romance or something. Didn't want to comment, because didn't want to detract from the original post.
Title: Re: The Future Is Bad For You
Post by: altered on April 12, 2019, 03:48:05 AM
The mobile app sucks. This literally didn't show up until just now for me.

Awesome work as ever.
Title: Re: The Future Is Bad For You
Post by: Telarus on April 14, 2019, 08:13:41 PM
:mittens:
Title: Re: The Future Is Bad For You
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on April 14, 2019, 10:11:50 PM
Quote from: nullified on April 12, 2019, 03:48:05 AM
The mobile app sucks. This literally didn't show up until just now for me.

Awesome work as ever.

We were talking a couple years back about setting up a consulting firm with Chris where we'd use our clout as Internet Experts to make them be less shitty to avoid getting hacked. This was the introductory spiel I wrote up for it.