Inspired by this (http://bbs.boingboing.net/t/5-word-scary-stories-its-alive/40201/).
Here's a few to start off with:
The anesthesia didn't quite work.
Strange shapes blackened the sky.
Yesterday the shadow grew again.
Below, rows of sharp teeth.
They don't remember the difference.
It is inside the house.
The walls keep changing color.
There wasn't time to scream.
And of course, the classic.
Mark all posts as read.
She had too many teeth.
That night, I wasn't alone.
A voice said, you die.
He infected me with maggots.
The scab came off again.
And then, they were Nigeled.
Didn't I lock this door?
She said, I got this.
Time slowed to a stop.
There shouldn't be visitors tonight.
Sudden realisation: we are lost.
Sudden realisation: all is lost.
Describe Discordianism in one sentence.
Only striped snakes are poisonous.
For Sale: Baby clothes, Unused.
5th Wallmart opening near you.
Politicians fully understand the consequences.
They know, they don't care.
We thought they were dead.
But they were dead, yesterday...
I can't feel my legs.
I have these horrible urges.
I'm not usually like this.
I usually have fewer legs.
Her eyes widened in anticipation.
I can't find the baby.
I know what I'm doing
Dok Howl never really does
Dongs flying into the street
:lulz:
Carpal tunnel; sex life over.
Quote from: The Waffling on April 04, 2015, 06:54:03 PM
She had too many teeth.
That night, I wasn't alone.
A voice said, you die.
He infected me with maggots.
sounds more like an eldritch love story.
Quote from: Meunster on April 07, 2015, 01:49:19 PM
Quote from: The Waffling on April 04, 2015, 06:54:03 PM
She had too many teeth.
That night, I wasn't alone.
A voice said, you die.
He infected me with maggots.
sounds more like an eldritch love story.
:lulz:
This isn't my real face.
I'm sure it'll stop that.
I love the Food Babe.
All of them were reelected.
Edward Snowden, who is that?
I think those are teeth.
This action cannot be undone.
Quote from: Meunster on April 07, 2015, 01:49:19 PM
Quote from: The Waffling on April 04, 2015, 06:54:03 PM
She had too many teeth.
That night, I wasn't alone.
A voice said, you die.
He infected me with maggots.
sounds more like an eldritch love story.
HA! :lulz:
Pool is on the Roof.
Airlock broke, screaming.
No sound.
A five word horror story for the SJW niche market:
"It is just a suffix."
The sun didn't rise today.
And then, Tucson got jealous...
It had been an eye.
That came outta my butt.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 08, 2015, 07:26:05 PM
That came outta my butt.
Howl's heading to the bathroom.
Portland is clean and nice.
No one sees colour here.
I know you'll appreciate this.
Just had this crazy idea.
This won't hurt a bit
Could it be possible that
You've got a purdy mouf.
If that's not your hand...
Hey guys I was thinking...
You know, the things we find horrible say a lot about us.
I wonder how others would react to these flash fiction stories?
Rush Limbaugh elected to office
Quote from: Reginald Ret on April 09, 2015, 09:46:42 AM
You know, the things we find horrible say a lot about us.
I wonder how others would react to these flash fiction stories?
A huge part of the reason these work is because of the context provided by the thread itself, allowing our imaginations to fill in why they're horrifying.
Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 10, 2015, 12:02:00 AM
Quote from: Reginald Ret on April 09, 2015, 09:46:42 AM
You know, the things we find horrible say a lot about us.
I wonder how others would react to these flash fiction stories?
A huge part of the reason these work is because of the context provided by the thread itself, allowing our imaginations to fill in why they're horrifying.
Also, in part because of the community's common touch-stones. You'll note that, on average, the themes in the boingboing version of this thread are a *lot* different -- particularly the joke ones. (And on the scale of things, PD isn't all that much different from boingboing. Try doing the same thread on a Ron Paul board, or on the TOE forums, where the cultural milleiu is skewed in very different ways.)
Quote from: Roko's Modern Basilisk on April 10, 2015, 12:16:46 AM
Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 10, 2015, 12:02:00 AM
Quote from: Reginald Ret on April 09, 2015, 09:46:42 AM
You know, the things we find horrible say a lot about us.
I wonder how others would react to these flash fiction stories?
A huge part of the reason these work is because of the context provided by the thread itself, allowing our imaginations to fill in why they're horrifying.
Also, in part because of the community's common touch-stones. You'll note that, on average, the themes in the boingboing version of this thread are a *lot* different -- particularly the joke ones. (And on the scale of things, PD isn't all that much different from boingboing. Try doing the same thread on a Ron Paul board, or on the TOE forums, where the cultural milleiu is skewed in very different ways.)
That sounds like an interesting sociological experiment.
It was an insular community
Multiple brides of Mormon Frankenstein
Hitler's brain in Stalin's body
EDIT:
A jacuzzi filled with teeth
Erotic use of severed leg
sewing anus shut prevents accidents
Icepick lobotomies make a comeback
It all started pleasantly enough.
An excised appendix becomes zombified
It's curable, for a price...
The tumor fills the building
CEO kills and eats employees
Help! My johnson fell off!
The body was 90% pus
What does this button do?
You stick around here now
Gentlemen, lend me your ears
Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 10, 2015, 07:18:36 AM
It all started pleasantly enough.
For a second there, I thought you were referencing this thread.
Then again....
Oh, and:
"...But there was no face..."
There's something outside the window
Quote from: The Waffling on April 10, 2015, 12:53:06 PM
There's something outside the window
There's something
inside the window.
It all started pleasantly enough. Yesterday, the shadow grew again. Strange shapes blackened the sky. The walls keep changing color. There's something outside the window. Her eyes widened in anticipation. It was an insular community. We thought they were dead. But they were dead, yesterday... There wasn't time to scream.
The sun didn't rise today. No one sees color here. They don't remember the difference. It is inside the house. That night, I wasn't alone. A voice said, "You die". There shouldn't be visitors tonight. Didn't I lock this door?
"I'm not usually like this. I can't feel my legs."
She said, "I got this." She had too many teeth. Time slowed to a stop. "This won't hurt a bit." The anesthesia didn't quite work. The scab came off again. It had been an eye. Below, rows of sharp teeth. I think those are teeth. "It's curable, for a price."
"I can't find the baby. I have these horrible urges."
"They know, they just don't care."
"This isn't my real face."
But there was no face...
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 10, 2015, 01:41:56 PM
It all started pleasantly enough. Yesterday, the shadow grew again. Strange shapes blackened the sky. The walls keep changing color. There's something outside the window. Her eyes widened in anticipation. It was an insular community. We thought they were dead. But they were dead, yesterday... There wasn't time to scream.
The sun didn't rise today. No one sees color here. They don't remember the difference. It is inside the house. That night, I wasn't alone. A voice said, "You die". There shouldn't be visitors tonight. Didn't I lock this door?
"I'm not usually like this. I can't feel my legs."
She said, "I got this." She had too many teeth. Time slowed to a stop. "This won't hurt a bit." The anesthesia didn't quite work. The scab came off again. It had been an eye. Below, rows of sharp teeth. I think those are teeth. "It's curable, for a price."
"I can't find the baby. I have these horrible urges."
"They know, they just don't care."
"This isn't my real face."
But there was no face...
Awesome! The quick sentences and their disjointed but still coherent nature evoke panic almost perfectly.
I think I can make some improvements to the dialogue section.
That is a fantastic compilation!
I don't make content, I make content better.
-motto of the recording engineer.
Ok, I think this helps.
It all started pleasantly enough. Yesterday, the shadow grew again. Strange shapes blackened the sky. The walls kept changing color. There's something outside the window. Her eyes widened in anticipation. It was an insular community. We thought they were dead. But they were dead, yesterday... There wasn't time to scream.
The sun didn't rise today. No one sees color here. They don't remember the difference. It is inside the house. That night, I wasn't alone. A voice said, "You die". There shouldn't be visitors tonight. Didn't I lock this door?
I spoke into the silence. "I'm not usually like this. I can't feel my legs."
She said, "I got this." She had too many teeth. Time slowed to a stop. "This won't hurt a bit." The anesthesia didn't quite work. The scab came off again. It had been an eye. Below, rows of sharp teeth. I think those are teeth. "It's curable, for a price."
My voice seemed far away. "I can't find the baby. I have these horrible urges."
"They know, they just don't care." Her eyes followed the wound. "This isn't my real face."
But there was no face...
I approve of this story!
Ugh. Need to change tenses in the first paragraph. BRB.
Filling the Jacuzzi, squirming teeth.
Things behind his eyes laughed.
My camera picked up something.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 10, 2015, 05:53:44 PM
Ok, I think this helps.
It all started pleasantly enough. Yesterday, the shadow grew again. Strange shapes blackened the sky. The walls kept changing color. There's something outside the window. Her eyes widened in anticipation. It was an insular community. We thought they were dead. But they were dead, yesterday... There wasn't time to scream.
The sun didn't rise today. No one sees color here. They don't remember the difference. It is inside the house. That night, I wasn't alone. A voice said, "You die". There shouldn't be visitors tonight. Didn't I lock this door?
I spoke into the silence. "I'm not usually like this. I can't feel my legs."
She said, "I got this." She had too many teeth. Time slowed to a stop. "This won't hurt a bit." The anesthesia didn't quite work. The scab came off again. It had been an eye. Below, rows of sharp teeth. I think those are teeth. "It's curable, for a price."
My voice seemed far away. "I can't find the baby. I have these horrible urges."
"They know, they just don't care." Her eyes followed the wound. "This isn't my real face."
But there was no face...
:mittens:
Of course there's the well known modern classics of five word horror...
"No. You are the demons"
Then John was a zombie.
The head transplant failed horribly.
The head lived for weeks.
There was so much blood.
The surgeon checked himself in.
He couldn't stop hearing it.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 10, 2015, 05:53:44 PM
Ok, I think this helps.
It all started pleasantly enough. Yesterday, the shadow grew again. Strange shapes blackened the sky. The walls kept changing color. There's something outside the window. Her eyes widened in anticipation. It was an insular community. We thought they were dead. But they were dead, yesterday... There wasn't time to scream.
The sun didn't rise today. No one sees color here. They don't remember the difference. It is inside the house. That night, I wasn't alone. A voice said, "You die". There shouldn't be visitors tonight. Didn't I lock this door?
I spoke into the silence. "I'm not usually like this. I can't feel my legs."
She said, "I got this." She had too many teeth. Time slowed to a stop. "This won't hurt a bit." The anesthesia didn't quite work. The scab came off again. It had been an eye. Below, rows of sharp teeth. I think those are teeth. "It's curable, for a price."
My voice seemed far away. "I can't find the baby. I have these horrible urges."
"They know, they just don't care." Her eyes followed the wound. "This isn't my real face."
But there was no face...
Shit. That was awesome!
My guts are spilling out
God made me do it.
Blinking eye of hairy teeth
Reversed anus sucks things in
The 'eat knocked-out teeth' diet
No more comedies, only dramas
He missed his own funeral
Pureed baby protein health shake
They snorted my grandma's ashes
Molten lead enema and douche
Eyes inserted into the ears
Needles inserted into the eyes
Absolutely nothing outside this room
It's like you never existed
Smoke barber hair every day
Why is my body hollow?
No universe outside the house
We're dust in the wind
Plague sure made a comeback
The south shall rise again
You could all die tomorrow
He had ears for eyes
I ate my own corpse
I appreciate the effort, but I'm getting the feeling the intent of this thread has severely shifted.
Nothing can stop me now.
Lava lamp filled with meat
Designer baby skin handbag
handbag filled with real hands
potholes filled up with blood
They razored off my scrotum
Hands switched out with feet
They drowned in human blood
chainsaw shoved up the ass
Mother bird regurgitates corpse pieces
savory delicious beef-fed beef
Vomit until your stomach prolapses
What happened to the sun!?
Increasing influence of the MPAA
They executed him two times
No, it hasn't been photoshopped
I only eat human toes
Snowman comes alive; rapes kids
I'm wearing your grandma's skin
Sports bottle filled with pus
Asphyxiated by unusually extreme flatulence
Carpooling with some stolen corpses
Eat shit and poop food
The universe is just doomed
Nothing ever really mattered anyway
He's posessed by Nixon's ghost
They made him eat himself
The wrong sun came up.
I still do love you.
He is nicer to me
I will never forget you
I just want to experiment
I think it is best
You should try experimentation too.
It was only two weeks
I never loved him much
Can we get back together?
You do not deserve me
Your trust is completely gone?
How can you forgive me?
This all makes no sense
I didn't even kiss him
Oh, you did much more
The sex was much better?
But you prefer my personality?
I guess that is fair.
Please tell me, together forever?
Accepted back, but not welcomed.
Atleast we are back together
We both have some regrets
Glad we can move on
I hope we grow closer
This will take some time
I hope we fix it.
Not all terrors are eldritch
I fucked up the prompt
Smiling, LMNO licked his lips.
I shouldn't have three arms
Why won't my eyes open
Lamprey mouth for an asshole
I turned into a republican
Geological stratum made of flesh
I forgot about the test!
Curse of the shrinking testes
Partially absorbed deformed fetal twin
Wednesday's the feast of St.Dracula
No. There are no answers.
His heart's on my mantle
Chest cavity packed with glass
Rush limbaugh was right.
You are a total failure
You'll never amount to anything
You'll always be a failure
also...
Descending colon filled with bees
Quote from: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on April 13, 2015, 07:45:16 AM
Descending colon filled with bees
Yeah, it might hurt to get your anal canal stung a few times. But maybe it would be worth it if you could jettison your payload and fill a room full of bankers with a cloud of angry, poopy bees.
I would pay good money to be able to fart bees.
return of the deranged ex
All laughter is now forbidden
growing numbers in abrahamic faiths
shoes filled with broken glass
the reanimation of Jack Valenti
Shut up and soldier, soldier.
They made him kill himself
They tried to ban porno
Paul Ryan will be president
North Korean style internet censorship
Twenty one inch anal circumference
The root canal didn't work
The tumor has become malignant
Impaled with seven hundred spikes
Today's special is human liver
More violent than any videogame
The sun eclipses the moon
Hollowed out body walking around
Industrial robot arm prostate examination
That house wasn't there yesterday
Blood shouldn't be that color
PDS, if all those things you post are horror for you... Do you need to talk to someone?
no, but they are generally horrifying, or at least disturbing.
The only ones I personally worry about are the depressing/existentialist ones ("the universe is just doomed", "you'll always be a failure", "it's like you never existed", etc), the political ones ("Paul Ryan will be president", "they tried to ban pornography"), and the one about forgetting the test which is similar to a recurring nightmare I have.
All the others would fit right in in horror films though
I watch a lot of horror films
... until everyone is on board
The gravity's much stronger today
Why's there an extra sun?
I remember the original genome.
The horror won't end until
Morale Improvement Measures now active.
Quote from: Demolition Squid on April 16, 2015, 01:54:10 PM
Morale Improvement Measures now active.
:nope:
The courtroom has become obsolete.
You've got the wrong guy!
You're on the galactic train
Dogs and cats living together
Honey, we're out of coffee.
Tests indicated mania is contagious.
The results were never released.
I left the milk out
It's one solid chunk now
Undercovers seeking Rx's from students
DARE's looking for a hero
The road is on fire
The lights all went out.
The broken bodies washed ashore.
Nobody admitted they saw it.
Taken to an undisclosed location
Game mods cost money now
QuoteAnd there are heroic stupidities
-
White Diamond, Werner Herzog (2004)
Eyeballs are a man's romance.
"Even educated bees do it"
I keep finding myself gravitating towards four word ones instead of five. I haven't even kept track of how many I had to give up on because there was no way to add a word without spoiling it.
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on April 25, 2015, 07:58:29 PM
I keep finding myself gravitating towards four word ones instead of five. I haven't even kept track of how many I had to give up on because there was no way to add a word without spoiling it.
I'm willing to stretch the rules, shall we do four words for now?
Couldn't find the haikku thread
Don't mind me, I'm whistling
I'm really excellent at puns.
My shadow stopped following me.
Everyone works for customer service.
The TPP still isn't dead
All 7 billion became immortal.
Quote from: N E T on April 30, 2015, 06:06:58 AM
All 7 billion became immortal.
but not infertile? :horrormirth:
Four Twenty Zenzizenzizenzic over six
I am apologise unconditionally
Jetfuel, check. Order steal beamz:
One size will fit all.
There is no more beer.
The glasses are always clean.
Quote from: LuciferX on May 03, 2015, 05:59:27 AM
The glasses are always clean.
I don't know why, but this one really works for me.
PUSSY DON'T HAVE NO MOTOR!
You're wasting your time here
Remember that you will die
Life could be better used
It's later than you think
Be glad you're healthy now
Bugs living in my body
Bugs climbing from the drain
The toilet is working backwards
Sewage drips from the ceiling
It's like haiku, but stupid
Thou art not yet ready
I'm standing right behind you
Welcome to Los Angeles Desert.
All my skin blistered off
In the end, nobody cared.
Nobody noticed much of anything.
Their struggle was for naught.
We all become monsters eventually.
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on May 19, 2015, 12:08:01 PM
In the end, nobody cared.
Nobody noticed much of anything.
Their struggle was for naught.
We all become monsters eventually.
Wow, so true.
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on May 19, 2015, 12:08:01 PM
We all become monsters eventually.
I was only following orders.
We thought we were right.
Use medication only as prescribed.
Wait, that wasn't cotton candy.
My God, what've I done?
The screaming was inexplicably muffled.
Its the only ethical choice
Hold my beer a minute
With us, or against us.
The policeman is your friend
Quote from: Dubya on May 19, 2015, 09:04:28 PM
The policeman is your friend
The policeman in your head!
What horribly mutilated corpses, Officer?
We own all your ideas
It was just America happening.
Possible side effects include anal seepage
Quote from: Dubya on May 20, 2015, 04:05:56 AM
Possible side effects include anal seepage
SIX WORDS. DISQUALIFIED.
"Possible side effects include ... seepage."
:lulz:
Woops. Was supposed to be side-effects
I'll only be a minute
Aha, aha aha aha aha.
This won't hurt at all.
Everything's going according to plan.
My dog ate cat shit
Then vomited on my bed
Ant eaters tongue my asshole
Quote from: axod on May 20, 2015, 09:38:28 PM
I am apologise unconditionally Show me the post.
That is 8 words, you fail!
Someone else took the credit
Someone stole my gotdamn phone!
They all thought me mad.
McDonald's for every meal. Forever.
John Galt's probably a cunt
Suddenly, there came a tapping
:lulz:
Quote from: Dubya on May 21, 2015, 09:34:44 PM
Suddenly, there came a tapping
:lulz:
:lol:
Only this, and nothing more
Quote from: Reginald Ret on May 21, 2015, 07:21:21 AM
Quote from: axod on May 20, 2015, 09:38:28 PM
I am apologise unconditionally Show me the post.
That is 8 words, you fail!
You forgot you blocked me?!?
JUST KEEP PUSHING THE SWING.
:horrormirth:
Atop a mountain of femurs.
It was an infinite seesaw.
My horses rock around again.
Great Britain style internet censorship
Blood's on my clown suit
Thought this was relevant...
(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/hemingway.png)
It's alive again. It's moving.
It grew back all wrong.
We could try poking it.
It has got my finger!
Umm, that shouldn't be empty
IRS has questions for you.
These five words are repeated.
For sale: One dead baby
Wanted: stainless steel baby pitchfork.
And the rain continued unabated.
I fly confederate gaypride flags
Another protester killed by police.
You are deliberately misinterpreting me
Checking manually for cyborg pimplants( pineal implants )
Roger and Cain on Caledonian.
Get them before they hatch
My teeth turned into bugs
Quote from: Edward Longpork on August 12, 2015, 05:22:17 PM
My teeth turned into bugs
My teeth became chittering eyeballs.
The resurrection of Steve Jobs
Quote from: Edward Longpork on August 12, 2015, 05:22:17 PM
My teeth turned into bugs
or conversely...
Those bugs turned into teeth
No one can hear you.
We're all going to die
The clouds were on fire.
I can't find my journal
Dark secrets lay waiting within
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on August 16, 2015, 05:48:51 PM
The clouds were on fire.
That's just the flavor beam
None shall emphasize in July.
Why won't my mouth open
Completely crisp crumb coated cod.
A tall glass of pus
tbh smh fml fam lol
You are better than that
Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on September 18, 2015, 04:22:56 AMWhy do you hate Juggalos?
They're less funny than Gacy
EDIT:
The ICP are spineless posers
Murderous clowns.
EDIT:
Perhaps my last post would have worked batter in backwards order:
The ICP are spineless posers
They're less funny than Gacy
Suddenly spiders, spiders fucking everywhere
Spiders are my organic pesticide.
Quote from: axod on September 21, 2015, 11:05:58 PM
Spiders are my organic pesticide.
Also works well on mice
Beware the sticky trap debacle.
Night of the burning urethra.
That's gonna hurt coming out
Anaconda snot the preferred python.
You've lost your head privileges
The crackpots were right afterall
Twenty three man human centipede
Donald Trump wins in landslide
Disembodied, malicious whispers surround us.
Quote from: Ziegejunge on March 23, 2016, 05:38:51 PM
Disembodied, malicious whispers surround us.
That's just Harry being Harry.
Gave up on dems entirely
And nothing happened ever again.
Everything rhymed with everything else.
where did my mouth go?
My mother was a sociopath.
The brain scan wasn't good.
That monolith wasn't there yesterday...
Don't worry, it ain't loaded.
(not mine, I saw this on another webiste)
They're killing tiny horses again
What could possibly go wrong?
Try to imagine Nietzsche happy
This will not end well.
The calls are rolling in.
The sores would not improve.
We're not in Kansas anymore.
Its all a grey area
Everyone's coming here for Christmas.
They found us. Stay calm.
Give me your honest opinion.
Where did my eyes go?
I'm only here to help.
So, there are a lot of these that could be useful as marginalia, or we could slap everything into an itty-bitty book?
Folks who've contributed, what do you think?
Someone's got the Holies again.
Or, if you're feeling especially creative....
Quote from: LMNO on April 10, 2015, 05:53:44 PM
Ok, I think this helps.
It all started pleasantly enough. Yesterday, the shadow grew again. Strange shapes blackened the sky. The walls kept changing color. There's something outside the window. Her eyes widened in anticipation. It was an insular community. We thought they were dead. But they were dead, yesterday... There wasn't time to scream.
The sun didn't rise today. No one sees color here. They don't remember the difference. It is inside the house. That night, I wasn't alone. A voice said, "You die". There shouldn't be visitors tonight. Didn't I lock this door?
I spoke into the silence. "I'm not usually like this. I can't feel my legs."
She said, "I got this." She had too many teeth. Time slowed to a stop. "This won't hurt a bit." The anesthesia didn't quite work. The scab came off again. It had been an eye. Below, rows of sharp teeth. I think those are teeth. "It's curable, for a price."
My voice seemed far away. "I can't find the baby. I have these horrible urges."
"They know, they just don't care." Her eyes followed the wound. "This isn't my real face."
But there was no face...
:mittens:
:mittens:
Holy fuck yes.
What harm could it do?
Best Christmas orphans ever had.
Where did the town go?
The room with the knifes
My favorite, covered in chocolate.
This nightmare will never end.
He's too rich to convict
EDIT:
Procrustes is gonna get you!
They ran out of rolls.
Quote from: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on April 18, 2016, 05:51:17 AM
He's too rich to convict
It's been done. And there's no way you'll do better than real life in this case:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Affluenza
QuoteIn December 2013, State District Judge Jean Boyd sentenced a North Texas teenager, Ethan Couch,[10][11] to 10 years' probation for driving under the influence and killing four pedestrians and injuring 11[12] after his attorneys successfully argued that the teen suffered from affluenza and needed rehabilitation, and not prison. The lawyers had argued that Couch was unable to understand the consequences of his actions because of his financial privilege.
Sadly, there are many, many more examples. This was just the most blatant.
The real kicker in that case is that even though he basically used the insanity defense, IIRC he didn't get the straitjacket/rubber-room treatment
...and I approve this message
The first one is free.
Babel hibernates in binary code.
Thousands of unsynced, chattering Furbies.
Quote from: LuciferX on April 28, 2016, 11:47:59 PM
Babel hibernates in binary code.
Though I don't find it personally horrible, I really like the idea. Maybe you could move that to Original Story Ideas, if you can avoid it turning into
Snow Crash.
My porn collection is missing.
There is only One, bathroom.
Police were none the wiser.
Everything was teeth and razors.
We don't need the manual.
AK's shepherd's hook got loosened.
I can't stop scratching it!
Saliva does cause stomach cancer.
It'll work its way out.
The karaoke of the damned.
That isn't a French tickler.
Uncontrollably hemorrhaging brain lubricant.
(four words, don't care)
Like tapeworms, but in penises.
I hear those voices again.
It flitted out the urethra.
Viciously, it bit her cervix.
Alarmed, he withdrew, coming everywhere.
It wriggled inside her bellybutton.
She convulsed, screaming, profoundly orgasming.
He vomited into her vagina.
Still had to pay child-support.
All those memories are dreams.
Net, it's five word horror, not porn.
The virus has mutated again.
Ronald McDonald, fisher of men.
It's at the tipping point.
It's an absolutely foolproof design.
It has integrated security measures.
It has built-in failsafes.
It has PTERODACTYLS, SHIT-FUCK.
Void is the eternal Core.
She didn't need bones anyway.
Sociopaths can own semiautomatic rifles.
Somebody wanted it this way.
Quote from: Gray Area on May 27, 2016, 03:33:34 PM
The virus has mutated again.
It's now a super-virus.
God may be cosmically lonely.
Let's make America great again
Quote from: Gray Area on June 15, 2016, 12:02:22 AM
Sociopaths can own semiautomatic rifles.
The NRA enables domestic terrorists.
Ammunition is cheaper than food.
Let's make England great again
Quote from: Gray Area on April 09, 2016, 10:49:46 PM
Don't worry, it ain't loaded.
Yeah, the safety is on.
Headshots are for sidearms, occifer.
Quote from: LuciferX on June 17, 2016, 12:19:23 AM
God may be cosmically lonely.
He created many sentient playthings.
Quote from: Gray Area on June 20, 2016, 10:16:04 AM
Quote from: Gray Area on June 15, 2016, 12:02:22 AM
Sociopaths can own semiautomatic rifles.
The NRA enables domestic terrorists.
The NRA owns Republican politicians.
Quote from: Gray Area on April 12, 2016, 01:01:56 AM
Give me your honest opinion.
Constructive criticism is always appreciated.
Goatse blazing atop Barad-Dur
Quote from: Gray Area on June 24, 2016, 11:49:24 AM
Quote from: Gray Area on June 17, 2016, 08:14:02 AM
Quote from: Gray Area on June 16, 2016, 09:35:15 PM
Quote from: Gray Area on May 16, 2016, 03:54:25 PM
I hear those voices again.
They said, "Buy a gun."
I do whatever they say.
So, I bought a gun.
I never question the voices.
Our fire wasn't hot enough.
Quote from: Ziegejunge on July 06, 2016, 06:16:25 PM
Our fire wasn't hot enough.
Oh god.
That's a good one.
Quote from: Gray Area on July 01, 2016, 09:03:02 AM
Quote from: Gray Area on June 20, 2016, 10:16:04 AM
Quote from: Gray Area on June 15, 2016, 12:02:22 AM
Sociopaths can own semiautomatic rifles.
The NRA enables domestic terrorists.
The NRA owns Republican politicians.
Sociopaths can run for office
Domestic terrorists enable republican politicians
Want to see my tattoo?
Another day, another mass shooting.
Quote from: Gray Area on July 08, 2016, 08:54:19 PM
Another day, another mass shooting.
Our technology outpaces our wisdom.
This is too much water.
Horror is an art form.
Our self-preservation instincts failed.
like omg tfw roflcopter xd
Am I doing it right?
Quote from: Gray Area on July 15, 2016, 07:52:13 PM
Quote from: Gray Area on July 14, 2016, 12:09:34 AM
Quote from: Gray Area on July 12, 2016, 07:47:58 AM
Quote from: Gray Area on July 08, 2016, 08:54:19 PM
Another day, another mass shooting.
Our technology outpaces our wisdom.
Humans kill their own species.
Another day, another mass killing.
Humans are sentient killer apes.
"You don't see your gun." (In an RPG session, in the middle of a pitched battle, followed by "The one in my haaands ?!".)
For soundclouders:
Got my first copyright strike
Buy Real SoundCloud Followers Now (curse those spammers :argh!:...)
Quote from: Fernando Poolike omg tfw roflcopter xd
Am I doing it right?
Oh yeah~, definitely :lol: !
Trump will build a wall
Everything is as it seems.
Who is like The Donald?
Who can war against it?
(Book of Revelation 13:4)
I completely ignored a sociopath.
The proctologist of the damned.
She solves crimes with Google.
She commits crimes with Google.
Norman Bates incest pornography film
I posted an intelligent reply.
SLYD OVE THERRIS ABULINS CARKINI!
Eval is not to evaluate.
Fox News – Ministry of Propaganda
Trump actually won the election
They elected The Siberian Candidate.
You're on The Reaper's list.
Justin Bieber lyrics made incarnate.
Welcome to Fact Free America!
Vladimir Putin now rules all
Sasha Dugin predicts the fall
We're going back to feudalism.
Liberty or death? Why choose?
We are all just doomed
Quote from: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on December 23, 2016, 02:17:56 AM
We are all just doomed
um excuse me the assignment is 5 word horror, not 5 word documentary.
Quote from: V3X on December 22, 2016, 10:59:05 PM
Liberty or death? Why choose?
It's not a false distinction.
The Horror Police are here!
Liberal arbitrariness becomes the Law.
The Internet starts eulogizing itself.
Spirit of Christmas extraordinarily rendered.
Tiny hands holding nuclear codes.
Megiddo's now open for business.
The Deceiver shall be crowned.
Lies aren't called lies anymore.
Nothing becomes revelation without concealment.
Environmental protection lowers corporate profits.
Nobody stopped it. Nobody cared.
Olympians look on in fear.
This is definitely not weed
This thread is becoming memebombs.
The Antichrist walks the Earth.
I went to sea sober.
Dirty cat anus, all around....
Trump makes Dubbya look intelligent.
Their footprints were miles deep.
'Twas a placebo all along.
Golden showers harbinger presidential powers.
Russia has won the war
Trump – America's mental health problem.
She screamed glass shards forever.
The void howled and grew.
Everything is as it seems.
Perceptual error indicates objective reality.
Free-thinking is extremely expensive.
We were all Donald Trump.
Remember: Golden showers conserve water.
Golden showers freshen inauguration flowers.
Reason dies of autoerotic asphyxiation.
CNN will be serving santorum.
Lies are now 'alternative facts'.
I thought 1984 was fiction.
A life of quiet desperation.
We have chosen the end.
The End of Days nears.
Church and State will merge.
Pitchforks and torches didn't work.
Believing is easier than thinking.
The apocalypse was somewhat metaphysical.
turns out we're already dead.
Brains are our daily bread.
Malignant narcissism has no cure.
Schoolchildren studying your life.
I helped them to death.
People are still rimming Crowley.
Some men are born posthumously.
Carnival barkers know your mind.
Many prefer delusion to truth.
People do their very best.
Quote from: V3X on February 16, 2017, 06:50:28 AM
People do their very best.
This is the worst story.
The bell tolls for thee.
Juggalos stole a time machine.
The priest's danger is science.
(The above is the shortened, five word version of a quotation from Nietzche's The Antichrist, Sect. 49.)
The buck stops somewhere else.
The cereal had sat awhile.
Religion — an antonym for truth.
You'll never get out alive.
Faith wills ignorance of truth.
(The above is the shortened, five word version of a quotation from Nietzche's The Antichrist, Sect. 52.)
Unrecognizable face seen in mirror.
Be right, or be fulfilled.
Trumpcare – "An apple a day ..."
"Post-truth is pre-fascism."
(The above is a quotation from Professor Timothy D. Snyder, Yale University.)
To EVERYTHING there's a season.
The period that never came.
Earmarked: USS Donald J. Trump
Let them eat aircraft carriers.
Comrade Trump's hunting Big Bird.
Tax breaks are worth treason.
Dishonest Don might become competent.
Mmmmm, I feel lucky today!
War is a publicity stunt.
Reality never had a chance.
ALL options on the table.
Minutes pass slower than years.
The end justifies the means.
Responsibility is for other people.
You have a presentation tomorrow!
Quote from: hansga on April 26, 2017, 06:38:32 PM
You have a presentation tomorrow!
AAAAAAAGH, I'M GOING TO HAVE NIGHTMARES! :x
Concentration camps monopolize attention economy.
Everything makes sense, because aliens.
This feeling is perfectly normal.
Remember your entire life, now.
Stuck in perpetual flu season.
:sad:
Eldrich arms around a dick.
Quote from: Kai on May 12, 2017, 01:45:46 AM
Eldrich arms around a dick.
Five word porn is a different thread.
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on May 12, 2017, 01:33:35 PM
Quote from: Kai on May 12, 2017, 01:45:46 AM
Eldrich arms around a dick.
Five word porn is a different thread.
Insect genitalia is pornographic?
Well.
I guess that explains a lot.
Quote from: Kai on May 12, 2017, 08:28:08 PM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on May 12, 2017, 01:33:35 PM
Quote from: Kai on May 12, 2017, 01:45:46 AM
Eldrich arms around a dick.
Five word porn is a different thread.
Insect genitalia is pornographic?
Well.
I guess that explains a lot.
Everything's porn if you're sufficiently dedicated.
Leftist trogdolytes without advanced degrees.
Comrade Trump did it again.
Read the documents! The government-
Orbital bombardment was not enough.
And we didn't even try.
Only little people pay taxes.
(The above is the shortened, five word version of a quotation attributed to Leona Helmsley.)
Humanity's a self-correcting problem.
Ignorance as legitimate as knowledge.
(The above is the shortened, five word version of a quotation from Isaac Asimov.)
Against stupidity even gods struggle.
(The above is the shortened, five word version of a quotation from Schiller.)
What goes around comes around.
Karma is really a bitch.
Other, equally-valid theories exist.
They know where you live.
It's not me, it's you.
Jesus does not love you.
The rules have been changed.
America's only legacy is Snuggies.
You are my science project.
Everything you touches razor-blade
There is a new "normal."
Worlds orthogonal to your soul.
Gonna Mark All As Read.
Quote from: Freeky on June 21, 2017, 09:29:17 PM
Gonna Mark All As Read.
:horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth:
You're already circling the bowl.
Eschaton emmanentized, and NOTHING happened.
Nothing is God remaining anonymous.
God is in fact eponymous. :fnord:
The natives are restless again.
The whole game is rigged.
Every oasis is a mirage.
The fix is still in.
Guns empower the mentally ill.
Tax breaks trump healthy constituents.
We are misguided, weaponized apes
looking for enlightenment in discordianism
The Kellyanne Conway sex tape
I can do this forever.
Suffering's eternal repetition transcends desire.
Quote from: LuciferX on August 04, 2017, 11:31:19 AM
Suffering's eternal repetition transcends desire.
Holy shit that was deep!
Writing is destruction of memory.
I'm not tired of 'winning.'
The Confederacy has captured Washington.
History of future replaces past.
Prole spags, mind the gap.
Planet X didn't show up.
UR Planet X's on YouTube.
The President has no knowledge ...
We've entered Gilded Age II.
NRA money is blood money.
TGRR did not really die.
Going out with a whimper.
The death of the forum.
The NRA enables mass murder.
Eris smiled at President Trump
Quote from: MMIX on February 25, 2018, 09:12:43 AM
Eris smiled at President Trump
:horrormirth: :fnord: :horrormirth:
Your concern belongs to us.
Quote from: Brother Mythos on September 28, 2017, 02:30:49 PM
The President has no knowledge ...
The president has no heart
The president has no soul
The Manchurian Candidate actually happened
....T'was. No. Toilet. Paper. Left.
"warning, incoming game..." was heard
The Human Condition mostly sucks.
The Human Condition is infectious
Internet is a disease vector
Computer virus claims first human
Donald Trump: President For Life.
Guns banned at NRA forum.
Being the membrane of eternity
The NRA now claims victimhood.
A plutocracy has been empowered.
Now we only make weapons.
Winning is a mining shaft
Suddenly, thousand zombie racoons attack.
Man has two left hands.
Giant Mutated Flying Wasp Spiders
Elections often have dire consequences.
Humans have taken over earth!
Happy person eats self completely
Belief is superior to knowledge.
Do not look behind you.
What the fuck is this?
Five words is just enough
You are your god's entertainment.
First ſlight seals the bond
Willful ignorance is now acceptable.
Facts are for dumb liberals.
Say:
Quotewhat washington what orders
That dystopian future is here.
CPU bleeding? Halt by leading!
Engine on
Interzone
Entrance
Song
Political careers now trump treason.
None dare call it reason
Republicultism™ is thinly veiled authoritarianism.
I piss in your Grovel.
Trump is a Russian asset.
Boris and Natasha run Washington.
Guns banned at Nugent's concert.
Your self is a conspiracy.
original copyright is a virus
The Republicult™ rationalizes committing treason.
ITs building locks you out.
D'you 'ave wut IT 'ackes?
Trump wants another Treason Summit.
The addressing is not linear
The thoughtless masses crave trumpery.
Quote from: LuciferX on July 21, 2018, 11:40:25 PM
The addressing is not linear
You gave me a headache.
On Broadway: Collusion – The Musical
Trump is perisception management exercise.
Traitors choose party over country.
The next wave of pinealists.
Everything old is new again.
Pe3king from behind the door
There Are No More Trees
Offspring can not hear mum
Orwell got the year wrong.
You were convicted in absentia.
You have already been sentenced.
The Manchurian Candidate is true
This coffee is simply awful.
Image definitely trumps actual performance.
Synchronized Remote Controled Rapture Combine
There is power in ignorance.
Going from SNAFU to FUBAR.
Trumpistan declares independence from reality.
IT meets The Sorceror's Apprentice
So how many fingers then?
Deep instant replay, invariable forever
Optimism is indistinguishable from sarcasm.
Hey there, back it up.
The moon landings found buildings.
Republicultist™ says, "Truth isn't truth."
Quote from: Brother Mythos on August 19, 2018, 09:10:10 PM
Republicultist™ says, "Truth isn't truth."
That was amazing, even for Rudy. Nobody ever gets to make fun of Clinton's "definition of 'is'" ever again.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 19, 2018, 09:28:02 PM
Quote from: Brother Mythos on August 19, 2018, 09:10:10 PM
Republicultist™ says, "Truth isn't truth."
That was amazing, even for Rudy. Nobody ever gets to make fun of Clinton's "definition of 'is'" ever again.
Some horror stories write themselves.
Quote from: Brother Mythos on August 19, 2018, 10:14:29 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 19, 2018, 09:28:02 PM
Quote from: Brother Mythos on August 19, 2018, 09:10:10 PM
Republicultist™ says, "Truth isn't truth."
That was amazing, even for Rudy. Nobody ever gets to make fun of Clinton's "definition of 'is'" ever again.
Some horror stories write themselves.
:golfclap:
Writing's the postponement of memory.
President sacrificed self for world.
Manchurian Candidate: A true story
What cities want is children.
"See... they should be terrified."
Okay, but first, water boarding.
Let's start having daily meetings.
iDogs run out of eCords.
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on September 01, 2018, 05:18:45 AM
Let's start having daily meetings.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
It giveses me deh wring.
Are you in me yet?
Can you feel me know?
The Heedless Write Awaits None.
Oh yeah, fuck you Monad.
Competing to be worst country
Ke te pensi ye facile?
Horror is the Other's absence.
Abort all the pregnant babies.
The door was open.
The windows had gone.
Nobody was crying.
Chewy and porous texture.
Quote from: Smillsoid on September 30, 2018, 09:12:50 PM
The door was open.
The windows had gone.
Nobody was crying.
Chewy and porous texture.
You are doing it wrong.
This is
five word horror.
Syphilis ate the POTUS's brain.
Trauma, in service of memory.
Trump is a Discordian Saint.
Quote from: Brother Mythos on October 14, 2018, 11:45:30 PM
Trump is a Discordian Saint.
I'd say more of a Knight of Discordia.
Quote from: Brother Mythos on October 15, 2018, 09:10:38 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 15, 2018, 05:05:02 PM
Quote from: Brother Mythos on October 14, 2018, 11:45:30 PM
Trump is a Discordian Saint.
I'd say more of a Knight of Discordia.
Please enlighten me, Doktor Howl.
A knight of Discordia is a person that increases the level of chaos around them merely by existing. This can be good or bad, makes no difference. RAW, I believe, proposed that members of the Joint Chiefs of Staff are automatically knighted. George W Bush is another good example.
Discordian sainthood usually implies that someone has a massively positive influence in this manner. Pedro II of Brazil, Emperor Norton, The Merry Pranksters, etc.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 15, 2018, 10:05:26 PM
Quote from: Brother Mythos on October 15, 2018, 09:10:38 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 15, 2018, 05:05:02 PM
Quote from: Brother Mythos on October 14, 2018, 11:45:30 PM
Trump is a Discordian Saint.
I'd say more of a Knight of Discordia.
Please enlighten me, Doktor Howl.
A knight of Discordia is a person that increases the level of chaos around them merely by existing. This can be good or bad, makes no difference. RAW, I believe, proposed that members of the Joint Chiefs of Staff are automatically knighted. George W Bush is another good example.
Discordian sainthood usually implies that someone has a massively positive influence in this manner. Pedro II of Brazil, Emperor Norton, The Merry Pranksters, etc.
I am not yet enlightened.
https://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php/topic,2080.0.html
Quote from: Brother Mythos on October 15, 2018, 10:53:21 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 15, 2018, 10:05:26 PM
Quote from: Brother Mythos on October 15, 2018, 09:10:38 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 15, 2018, 05:05:02 PM
Quote from: Brother Mythos on October 14, 2018, 11:45:30 PM
Trump is a Discordian Saint.
I'd say more of a Knight of Discordia.
Please enlighten me, Doktor Howl.
A knight of Discordia is a person that increases the level of chaos around them merely by existing. This can be good or bad, makes no difference. RAW, I believe, proposed that members of the Joint Chiefs of Staff are automatically knighted. George W Bush is another good example.
Discordian sainthood usually implies that someone has a massively positive influence in this manner. Pedro II of Brazil, Emperor Norton, The Merry Pranksters, etc.
I am not yet enlightened.
https://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php/topic,2080.0.html
Neither was I, at that time. That conversation, however, led to the hilarious Eris Von Tartarus/Prince Tao Jones shenanigans, after Tao started quoting chapter and verse at us.
The mass hilarity begins at the very bottom of page 2.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 15, 2018, 11:00:18 PM
The mass hilarity begins at the very bottom of page 2.
Discordian Fundamentalists really do exist.
Quote from: Brother Mythos on October 15, 2018, 11:12:08 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 15, 2018, 11:00:18 PM
The mass hilarity begins at the very bottom of page 2.
Discordian Fundamentalists really do exist.
Well, yes. That - the Tao/EvT thing - ended in horror, madness, and death, so it all turned out okay.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 16, 2018, 03:09:51 AM
Quote from: Brother Mythos on October 15, 2018, 11:12:08 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 15, 2018, 11:00:18 PM
The mass hilarity begins at the very bottom of page 2.
Discordian Fundamentalists really do exist.
Well, yes. That - the Tao/EvT thing - ended in horror, madness, and death, so it all turned out okay.
Let the good times roll!
The problem is job descriptions.
Who really cares about apathy?
Quote from: Brother Mythos on October 26, 2018, 04:47:44 AM
Who really cares about apathy?
Those who don't understand it.
Greed fuels climate change extinction.
I've never seen the ocean.
It is too late now.
"IT was you and me"
Chickenhawk POTUS disrespects fallen veterans.
Quote from: Brother Mythos on November 11, 2018, 04:02:09 AM
Chickenhawk POTUS disrespects fallen veterans.
Twas a cold rain, indeed.
"IT was only one element"
Farm Subsidies are welfare payments.
Finlanders didn't rake their forests.
I am one of them.
You shouldn't have trusted me.
good enough for government's business.
Five words is not enough
Not to express my feelings
Not to touch your soul
Not to say I'm sorry
Not to convince a jury
School bans graffiti
"Us? Boring!?" :kingmeh:
Everybody's waiting on everybody else.
Nothing will ever get done.
Sweet Chaos sews: a seed.
Booming Discord grows: a tree.
Pungent Confusion blooms: four flowers.
Prickly Bureaucracy looms: for hours.
Orange Aftermath sets: "Hit RESET."
Make America Great Again. Again.
Sunnyside Mortuary and Sausage Hut.
It was even worse before
I got used to gore
I believe in flat earth
The flag's at half mast.
Judicial ethics are now optional.
I see dead sock puppets.
It's last call for alcohol!
(https://i.imgur.com/TNe3EvI.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/6rSBafh.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/XTw2QBk.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/nNdJBsn.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/UQaTHWS.jpg)
I can no longer die.
I am being buried alive.
I will watch you forever.
(https://i.imgur.com/zX5VT7l.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/sV07XEZ.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/okZJZC9.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/dRPkuIM.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/BmHa5p8.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/TopgwQh.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/l9OyMiG.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/DZDqC4P.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/NgTTe86.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/GRsp0CP.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/laAednd.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/dOOAKGX.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/HfulSB1.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/PRiqTJY.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/cjIAC6y.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/mukya34.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/bzGM67e.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/8UO7un8.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/ZVqKlYu.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/MHtc6iT.jpg)