I was re-reading some of the collections of short stories that I have on my bookshelves when I came across "'Beloved Disciple' by S. P. Somtow," a story in a book called "Dark Destiny" published by White Wolf.
Anyways the first line in this story goes, "First off, I've never fucked him." (or very close to that). Seeing as it's a story about Jesus it's a wonderful introduction.
Anyone else have a great opening line from a favorite story/novel?
"I was twelve years old the first time I ever walked on water"
From 'Mr. Vertigo' by Paul Auster
"SO Ther I Was..."
great opening for any story.
I don't actually remember the title of the book or who it was by, but the opening sentence stuck with me:
"The last camel died at noon."
8)
I can't believe nobody has posted this yet:
"We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold."
(http://bestsmileys.com/clapping/6.gif)
Momma died today, or maybe it was yesgterday, i cant remember
The Stranger by Albert Camus
I HATED this book but damn great opener
This one reminds me of Zorga:
"Captain Ahab was neither my first husband nor my last..."
From 'Ahab's Wife' by Sena Jeter Naslund
There is this book I own that has short stories in it called "Borderlands." I wish I could let everyone read it as it has some of the weirdest stroies I have ever read. My favorite is entitled "Stillborn" and it's written by Nina Kiriki Hoffman:
"Hugh found it in the shallow grave his mother had dug behind the house. He kept it wrapped in cotton above a heat register in the attic, where the dry warmth would preserve it without rotting it. Once it had mummified, he locked his bedroom door and took it out to look at, nights after his mother had gone to bed. When he shook it, its brain rattled inside its tiny skull like a pea in a gourd. "Little brother," he would whisper, staring into its sunken leathery face. "Little brother.""
It's only 3 pages long... but it is beyond strange.
ooooo
I wanna read that!!
Me, too. I love sweet little stories like that.
"Call me Ishmael, Dummy."
Moby Dick for Dummies
"ONCE UPON A TIME"
At the far end of town
where the Grickle-grass grows
and the wind smells slow-and-sour when it blows
and no birds ever sing excepting old crows
is the Street of the Lifted Lorax.
Dr Seuss - 'The Lorax'
WEEEOOOO! WE LOVE THE SEUSS!
This book is actually wonderful (too bad it's out of print, but I think you can still find it on amazon...ISBN 1-56504-107-0) there is another really good story in here entitled "The Raw and the Cooked" by Michael Green.
You have to read the whole thing to get the twisted aspect of the story, however my favorite line from this story goes:
"The chaste maidens who tended the temple's grills and perpetual fires would remove the girl's body soon after she died."
Doesn't seem all the odd, but it's about a place called "Mr.Wally's," a fast-food chain. I like weird stories... I kind of aspire to write strange tales myself. I might post a link to one of my completed short stories... maybe for some constructive (or destructive) opinions.
WE WILL READ THEM WITH ZEAL AND SQUEAL! WEEEEOOOOO!
"The last word in this book will be Po-tweet!"
-Slaughterhouse Five, by Kurt Vonnegut
The beatiful part is, the guy follows through with the promise. I suppose, in a way, it's the ultimate spoiler...
Possibly my all-time favorite bit to grab the reader's attention:
"It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on Earth has ever produced the phrase, 'as pretty as an airport.' Airports are ugly. Some are very ugly. Some attain a degree of ugliness that can only be the result of a special effort." -Douglas Adams, from The Long Dark Teatime of the Soul
Another good Douglas Adams quote? "They hung in the air in much the same way that bricks don't."
Here's the worst opening line to a book that I can think of at the moment:
"I'm the Vampire Lestat. Remember me? The vampire who became a super rock star, the one who wrote the autobiography?" Queen of the Damned - Anne Rice
Made me want to put the book down, which would have been pretty bad because it gets a lot better as it goes along.
Quote from: Terry Pratchett
One day, when he was naughty, Mr. Bunnsy looked over the hedge into Farmer Fred's field and saw it was full of fresh green lettuces. Mr. Bunnsy, however, was not full of lettuces. This did not seem fair.
              - From Mr. Bunnsy Has an Adventure
  Rats!
  They fought the dogs and killed the cats, and-
  But there was more to it than that. As the Amazing Maurice said, it was just a story about people and rats. And the difficult part of it was deciding who the people were, and who were the rats.
::sigh::
the amazing maurice and his educated rodents
I said I liked being half-educated; you were so much more surprised at everything when you were ignorant.My Family and Other Animals Author: Gerald Durrell
Quote from: unlike_someoneHere's the worst opening line to a book that I can think of at the moment:
"I'm the Vampire Lestat. Remember me? The vampire who became a super rock star, the one who wrote the autobiography?" Queen of the Damned - Anne Rice
Made me want to put the book down, which would have been pretty bad because it gets a lot better as it goes along.
That's disappointing! :(
Anne Rice is one of a few authors that will file suit if anyone adopts her book characters into renditions of fan fiction. Given that opening line to
QotD, I can honestly say that I know a few writers that could have put a better polish on than that.
And I adore Douglas Adams! Rest his soul. :(
Quote"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." Douglas Adams
"Anna tucked the blanket around her baby, careful to leave the newborn's left leg out as instructed."
Grave Intent - Deborah LeBlanc
QuoteFrederick Mueller staggered out into the humid, hot night. He almost pulled his anonymous escort
service blond to the ground, his grip on her hand was so strong, but they held each other upright.
The girl laughed in an alcoholic daze.
from some guy
onna fruited steet
I hope he does more
for fluffy:
"It is said that the effect of eating too much lettuce is "soporific."
I have never felt sleepy after eating lettuces; but then I am not a rabbit."
The Tale of the Flopsy Bunnies ~ Beatrix Potter
Quote from: unlike_someoneHere's the worst opening line to a book that I can think of at the moment:
"I'm the Vampire Lestat. Remember me? The vampire who became a super rock star, the one who wrote the autobiography?" Queen of the Damned - Anne Rice
Made me want to put the book down, which would have been pretty bad because it gets a lot better as it goes along.
just because some crap is better than other crap doesn't mean I want to eat any of it...
Quote from: MalaulMomma died today, or maybe it was yesgterday, i cant remember
The Stranger by Albert Camus
I HATED this book but damn great opener
Some writing class type thing I went to, they gave us that line to write a story with, as an exercise. Also said the book was too damn depressing, or something
that book was aweful
Ive never read anytning so bad in my life
I thought 'Where the Red Fern Grows' was equally depressing and horrible.
I'll be sure never to read it then. Thanks, by the way.
Be very very sure not to read it.
My kid was required to read that book in 5th grade and she sobbed through most of it.
Partly because it's about dogs and they all die and partly out of frustration at being forced to read such crap.
To make her feel better, I promised to read along with her.
So there we both were, crying and reading that stupid book together.
stately plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed
-james joyce ulysses - sets teh tone fro the next one thousand or so pages.
...
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomBe very very sure not to read it.
My kid was required to read that book in 5th grade and she sobbed through most of it.
Partly because it's about dogs and they all die and partly out of frustration at being forced to read such crap.
To make her feel better, I promised to read along with her.
So there we both were, crying and reading that stupid book together.
Woah. Alright. I think the guy described it as being "suicide inducing" or something, but I apparantly didn't take him seriously enough. Anyway, like the avatar.
Quote from: Altoid Addict
Woah. Alright. I think the guy described it as being "suicide inducing" or something, but I apparantly didn't take him seriously enough. Anyway, like the avatar.
That's a very accurate description.
I have to tell Sara someone called it "suicide inducing". She'll love it. :twisted:
And thanks - I lost this avatar a while back, but gnimbley found it again.
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomQuote from: Altoid Addict
Woah. Alright. I think the guy described it as being "suicide inducing" or something, but I apparantly didn't take him seriously enough. Anyway, like the avatar.
That's a very accurate description.
I have to tell Sara someone called it "suicide inducing". She'll love it. :twisted:
And thanks - I lost this avatar a while back, but gnimbley found it again.
The guy who said that was one of the authors leading the thing, by the way. Knowledgable opinion, or something.
Quote from: Netaungrot the Farrago"It has been reported that Tanuki fell from the sky using his scrotum as a parachute." - Tom Robbins Villa Incognito
Alright, I need that book.
long starting sentence:
Francis Marion Tarwater's uncle had been dead for only half a day when the boy got too drunk to finish digging his grave and a Negro named Buford Munson, who had come to get a jug filled, had to finish it and drag the body from the breakfast table where it was still sitting and bury it in a decent and Christian way, with the sign of its Saviour at the head of the grave and enough dirt on top to keep the dogs from digging it up.
The Violent Bear it Away ~~Flannery O'Connor
Quote from: mian tiao noodlelong starting sentence:......
short starting sentence:
"Raging emotions, dead tissue."
The Conspiracy Club by Jonathon Kellerman
"Jack Torrance thought: Officious little prick."
The Shining, by Stephen King.
Probably the first adult novel I read all the way through, I was about ten, and the first line has stuck in my mind ever since.
"It was love at first sight.
"The first time Yossarian saw the chaplain he fell madly in love with him."
Catch-22, Joseph Heller
"...to wound the autumnal city."
Dhalgren, Samuel Delaney
(anyone else know a book that begins with a sentance fragment?
A surging, seething, murmuring crowd of beings that are human only in name, for to the eye and ear they seem naught but savage creatures, animated by vile passions and by the lust of vengeance and of hate.
The Scarlett Pimpernel by Baroness Orczy Emmuska
'someplace along the midway of new york they call broadway i had picked up a tail.' mickey spillane, the death dealers.
that opening makes me laugh. what'd he do with the tail after he picked it up? put it in his pocket? ew.
Quote from: doubtless incident'someplace along the midway of new york they call broadway i had picked up a tail.' mickey spillane, the death dealers.
that opening makes me laugh. what'd he do with the tail after he picked it up? put it in his pocket? ew.
uh, that would be cooool, heh, heh,heh
Good thing that isn't Eldora.
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerGood thing that isn't Eldora.
d00d, your av thingy is freakin me out, quit yelling at that lady, heh, your messin up her hair n stuff
Mary wished to say something very sensible, but knew not how.
"Hey, baby...you wanna go halves on a bastard?"
\
(http://bbs.fuckedcompany.com/icons/monkey.gif)
Quote from: East Coast Hustle"Hey, baby...you wanna go halves on a bastard?"
\
(http://bbs.fuckedcompany.com/icons/monkey.gif)
yea. what ya gonna do with your half?
Once upon a time
like , uh, lots of my books start like that and everything