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Alty...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bikejoring
Dogs like to pull.  They are really HAPPY to pull.
Sometimes in random directions though, but mostly this is fun. 
If they pull you over they will love on you while you lie there bleeding, at least.

Hey Nigel! LIKE A BOSS. Congrats!

DOUR, I've been thinking about "old". And you know what? Old people are CRABBY, and nobody goes up to them and tells them "SMILE!"
Old people carry STICKS.

I kind of look forward to this.

... If I actually get to old age people won't fuck with me....hmm... 

Vodka does not seem to be doing anything. Why?
I have been at it for days with the stuff and it just does not do its god danned job.

...I find it tends to make me feel worse the next day...YMMV.

I liked the end. The malevolent god implication.

The only thing I question is why he didn't send it back to his sorry-ass family when he decided not to keep it. There would have been consequences for melting it down, I'm sure, but after being shot at I couldn't blame him if he stuck it in a priority mail box and let nature take its course. The only logic I can see for him hanging out at the crossroads for three nights is he was "too nice".

I was trying to get that he was too much in love with it to destroy it
Sort of like a self-protective element to the fiddle itself?
Also that there was a druglike compulsion involved to play and play and play...
I can fix that, I think.
Thanks!

Edited to add...I *think* I took care of that, part 5...He DID try to destroy it, then tried to get rid of it...and you can see how that went...

I was thinking of Job. 
Too, I was thinking about the Christian concept of the angels not having free will-lots of power, but no free will. Lucifer is an angel; God presumably made him to be the being he is, right?
Well, Christian mythology context.
(I dig the phrase "Christian mythology.")

Next weekend, I get to start polishing and polishing and such...and the ending seems a tad lame, it may get rewrit.

part 7

The fiddle was gone...and Johnny had to sweat it out.
For a little while he still lived in his truck, and he'd wake up at night to find an invisible golden fiddle in his arms, tears streaming down his face.
It had been his life for the past three or so years, his love.  He felt desolate and hopeless at first from loss of it, like he'd never feel joy again.  Besides that, he'd never not had family before.  He had no family; no family he ever wanted to see again anyway.  He was a lone man, and lonely.

Times there were when he thought of going back to the crossroads, to beg the Devil for the return of the lovely thing.  Then sanity prevailed, and he knew the fiddle was gone.  Best it was so.

After what was a long month of empty wandering, Johnny managed to snag a construction gig outside of Nashville...It was for a small apartment building. 
By the time he'd finished, he'd saved enough to find himself a crappy month-to-month apartment of his own.
...And the jobs kept coming.
Johnny's luck had shifted.
He saved up.  He found himself a half-decent fiddle in a pawnshop.  He played out at some open mic nights... one night at The Bluebird.  A fella who'd just happened to be there talked to Johnny after his set.  It seemed the man needed a fill-in fiddler, their regular guy had a broke arm, and they had a few gigs booked.
Johnny was more than willing.  The exposure did him good; the pay didn't hurt either.  He began to be a sought-after player in Nashville....But he was hungry, and looking.

Amy was a lovely little readheaded sprite who could sing, and who loved him, and he loved her from when first he locked eyes with hers in that country bar...Amy drew many eyes, but had eyes for only Johnny...and Johnny was entranced, bought her a beer, was the perfect gentleman when he drove her home that night.
Not that he remained a gentleman for too long now...Amy became pregnant rather quickly. This was soon followed by Johnny doing the right thing and marrying her.  Not that he had to be coaxed.   Life alone was too hard  Amy had a good and giving heart. 
About six months after the wedding, Amy had a little girl with Amy's hair and Johnny's eyes...and when Johnny took that tiny little girl in his arms, his heart just melted. 
He stood there with Amy looking relieved in the hospital bed, and knew he was home.
He was home, now, and that home was a far, far finer  home than any money could have bought.


***********
Like Job, after his time of testing he was given in abundance.
In fact, Johnny became a church going man, getting up after a couple hours sleep to give praise, always tithing a tenth, like a Good Christian.  Eventually Amy and his wee Laura joined him in his devotions.
He never did say why he went, though, just did.
It might have been out of gratitude.
But  maybe he remembered that one thing Lucifer said?
" I was under orders, as always ."
Maybe it was a lie from the Father Of Lies.  Maybe it was the truth.

It's usually better to be safe than sorry in things.

Umm I just push buttons on a cash register. So excite.

No entertainment value from the customers?   

...The keyboard is used by the secretary peeps more...collateral damage...otherwise excellent thought though...

He vacuums.
He uses one particular vacuum cleaner, which isn't the one the cleaning staff uses. 
In fact, he's the primary user of that vacuum cleaner to my knowledge.
This too has potential.

What an ass.

I babysit buildings.
ATM I work in an organ and tissue donation facility.
They do tissue recovery onsite; when training newbies I have learned to warn them there are dead people in the building up front.  Sometimes they won't stay because of this.
...Yes, there are stories of Weird Stuff. 
One of them: I'm told there have been several people reporting the sound of high heels clacking around in the back hallway, behind the med suite-a sound not attached to any visible pair of high heels. 
*Shrug* What do I know? I haven't heard them.
It's boring.  The only really scary part is when management changes what they want me to do without telling me, leaving me to trip over a rule.
 
...Despite my fears of getting fired; I honestly think I could handle a less boring assignment; but I want more money to deal with less boring.

Personal bitching ahead: please feel free to ignore.

I was an ogre to my co-worker today.
...It was unwarranted in this instance, as he didn't lie on the time sheet *IN THIS INSTANCE*...well, only by 5 minutes...
I had to apologize to him.
But I don't feel really bad about it...probably should, and don't...

...He's (a) been actively rude to me for pretty much my whole stay here, and (b) he arrives late EVERY day, and (c) he often lies about his arrival time on his time sheet and states he was here on time or close to.
If it were just 5 minutes this would not be worth a fight, but we're talking 20 to 40 minute discrepancies here. 

I  now make two printouts of my shift report, one to take with me.  At one point he was altering time on that too. Altering a legal document.
Due to the schedule change he now cannot get away with altering my time on the time sheet by virtue of me being the one that faxes said sheet off, but I don't fill it out in advance, because it'd get "fixed."

...He views me as messy.
  I don't think I'm messy...well here.  No crumbs on the floor, all trash in the trash, empty trash when full.
I'm not a slob on the job.

But unlike him...I don't hose the front desk with lysol, put the trashcan as far away from the desk as possible. I don't empty the trash unless it's actually full. I don't run the vacuum. I do not rub every surface in the front desk area down with lysol wipes.  I do not then spray the entire area with lysol.
This cleaning ritual takes him over an hour.
...And then he runs the vacuum again when he goes off shift and/or repeats the entire sequence.
I *honestly* think he'd go through this hour-and-a-half OCD cleaning ritual no matter HOW sanitary I was, if for no other reason than to sanitize my presence out of the area.  You'd think I showed up stanky...No. 

...He does little passive aggressive, and covert-aggressive things to get back at me...for what I'm not sure, but it probably involves both the OCD thing AND the time thing.
Most just annoying, like making me wait outside the gate for a couple of minutes while I'm hitting the buzzer and he knows it's me
Something I don't do to him.

The worst thing he's done was hose the front desk area with ladies' perfume, after I left a note asking him, politely, to try to show up on time.
He knows I have asthma, the perfume made me sick 3 days running.
After that incident I make sure to park my car in line of sight, because I just don't know, you know?

I know I'm being like a fucking five-year-old: "HE STARTED IT!"
It's stupid of me, it's not the sort of person I want to be. 
I haven't been meditating, either; that's bad. 

I'd feel guiltier, but the bastard's gonna do something.  I know he is.

Go to the dollar store and get some plastic bugs.

THIS.

Your Rx is to read as many DOUR posts as you can find that refer to assweasels at work. He's your Sun Tzu here.
Then go back there and FUCK with this person. Sometimes the best defense is a good offense. 

...I have a few ideas now...will let them marinate.

If something was stuck to the floor and he could not, for some strange reason, vacuum it up I think he'd explode in an OCD frenzy.  That has potential, I think.

I am full of good advice.  Much like Redman.

This is the biggest I've smiled in WEEKS.  WEEKS, I tell you!

I think that argues for introducing my coworker to my little friends. 
A lot of little friends.

...This will take time, but I have an empty 20-gallon aquarium...

Personal bitching ahead: please feel free to ignore.

I was an ogre to my co-worker today.
...It was unwarranted in this instance, as he didn't lie on the time sheet *IN THIS INSTANCE*...well, only by 5 minutes...
I had to apologize to him.
But I don't feel really bad about it...probably should, and don't...

...He's (a) been actively rude to me for pretty much my whole stay here, and (b) he arrives late EVERY day, and (c) he often lies about his arrival time on his time sheet and states he was here on time or close to.
If it were just 5 minutes this would not be worth a fight, but we're talking 20 to 40 minute discrepancies here. 

I  now make two printouts of my shift report, one to take with me.  At one point he was altering time on that too. Altering a legal document.
Due to the schedule change he now cannot get away with altering my time on the time sheet by virtue of me being the one that faxes said sheet off, but I don't fill it out in advance, because it'd get "fixed."

...He views me as messy.
  I don't think I'm messy...well here.  No crumbs on the floor, all trash in the trash, empty trash when full.
I'm not a slob on the job.

But unlike him...I don't hose the front desk with lysol, put the trashcan as far away from the desk as possible. I don't empty the trash unless it's actually full. I don't run the vacuum. I do not rub every surface in the front desk area down with lysol wipes.  I do not then spray the entire area with lysol.
This cleaning ritual takes him over an hour.
...And then he runs the vacuum again when he goes off shift and/or repeats the entire sequence.
I *honestly* think he'd go through this hour-and-a-half OCD cleaning ritual no matter HOW sanitary I was, if for no other reason than to sanitize my presence out of the area.  You'd think I showed up stanky...No. 

...He does little passive aggressive, and covert-aggressive things to get back at me...for what I'm not sure, but it probably involves both the OCD thing AND the time thing.
Most just annoying, like making me wait outside the gate for a couple of minutes while I'm hitting the buzzer and he knows it's me
Something I don't do to him.

The worst thing he's done was hose the front desk area with ladies' perfume, after I left a note asking him, politely, to try to show up on time.
He knows I have asthma, the perfume made me sick 3 days running.
After that incident I make sure to park my car in line of sight, because I just don't know, you know?

I know I'm being like a fucking five-year-old: "HE STARTED IT!"
It's stupid of me, it's not the sort of person I want to be. 
I haven't been meditating, either; that's bad. 

I'd feel guiltier, but the bastard's gonna do something.  I know he is.

Go to the dollar store and get some plastic bugs.

Holy shit YESS!

Think real bugs would be better...but yeah. 

...Chilled roaches. Crickets would be easier, but chilled roaches would have a better impact.

It pisses me off that a lot of places are passing laws to treat e-cigs the same as regular ones. It's that fucking punishment fetish culture coming through again... "Oh shit, they found a way to enjoy something pleasurable without the cancer or bothering anyone! We need to punish them, STAT!"

I was looking forward to e-cigs catching on because I doubt the vapors will throw my lungs into fits like smoke does.

E-cigs taste like shit, though.

I think people ought to have the right to smoke...smoke anything they want to smoke, even.
Tobacco, pot, crack, heroin, whatever...if I'm not involuntarily involved.

...If they smoke tobacco (or a LOT of pot) inside I can't be in that location. 

This is kind of awesome. 
http://prosign.tumblr.com/post/33766157596/someone-has-made-fake-london-underground-signs-and

I want to do that.

Nobody's posted this thing here though, not that I saw, anyway....
http://www.independent.co.uk/video/?videoid=3060708799001

I will likely check out the animal shelter and the many rescue/foster places around town before going to a breeder. The trouble is they are mostly pit bulls. Which doesn't bother me, I love those dogs. But they cannot handle being outside in bad Alaskan weather for 5 miles at a time.

I am taking my time either way.

Yeah, they're pretty thin-coated. Pit bulls in Alaska are just a bad idea, what are people thinking?

There are so many!
So many.

   Their coats are so thin...