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I believe in bubbles.

Last night I went to Wonderland via the dreamworld.  That's not an analogy.  I dreamed about the real Wonderland and how it connects with the 'ordinary' world.  It was a world in which everything and everybody was under the influence of some kind of extraordinary dementia.  I met all kinds of people, but none from the books written by Lewis Carol.  It was a unique journey.  Some of them were extremely quirky and also friendly.  Some of them were quite dangerous.  It was quite adventurous.  It was a dream so I don't remember it all, and it was scrambled like an egg on LSD, so it's hard to reveal all the details, but it seemed quite real to me at the time.  I remember that the journey started to screw people up when they returned to the real world.  One woman started to believe that a psychiatrist and his every other word was something sexual, even though that wasn't what he was really saying.  Then his face turned into a bunch of penises and the woman started screaming and laughing like a typical crazy person.   Must have been some Freudian reference in my mind-files.  The story of my dream was that some people who returned to the real world became completely demented, and they had to return to Wonderland to cure their sanity, just like a shaman would go to the underworld to perform a 'soul retrieval'.  Then the handful of people who knew about Wonderland and the secret location of the rabbit hole would have to go on the journey down the hole in the ordinary world and spend just two minutes there in order to appease the spirit of Wonderland.  They would have to do that once a year, or their ordinary lives would go insane again.  Sounds simple enough, but it's not easy to come back from Wonderland so quick, because you get lost.  Once you're in, the rational mind becomes topsy turvy.  I'm not just making this up.  I really went there.  Sometimes it's hard to relate what dreams are really like, or even remember.  Anyways, I invite anyone to share their dreams here.  Hopefully Freddy Krueger will stay dead, but feel free to share nightmares too.

I'm not inviting her to my party on Mt. Olympus with the real Gods.

Edit- I didn't like this piece.

Go to the store and buy as much junk food as you can.  Spam, candy, pizza, leftover dumpster snacks, you name it.  Eat as much as you can.  Then when you poop it all out, you will create the most decadent black egg.  True alchemy.  Top it all off with some golden ambrosia.  Bottoms up!

"Yes, you actually can bend iron bars with your mind.  You can do anything.  Just don't forget God." --Professor Xavier

"Only those who risk going too far, can ever find out how far one can go"  --Chico Xavier



The world is full of iron bars and gray walls.  They are my workshop of clay and metalurgy.  All I did was wink at the Devil after a few beers and then shmoked shome shrub, which then catapulted me into the raw, naked mud where we had belly sex 'til my back broke, and then the sheriff saw us, and well, to make a long story short, that's why I'm here.  The black iron prison.  I used to think this place was like Walmart, but now the walls are receding into the world of seeming demons that are just a heartless monster in the tin man of society.  Somewhere over the rainbow, there is a black sun spiraling through a galaxy lost in the dream.  It is the maze of delusions that really are just a house of cards in the maniac's mind.  It is all a dream, but that doesn't mean it's not as stark as a Silent Hill nightmare.  The air is horrible in prison, a symptom of global warming in the heart and soul of square civilians in cold prison bunkers.  A hurricane could come again soon-- just another prison riot in the heart and soul of humanity.  Terror is lost in the cold-steely eyes of envious men who can't see that this black iron prison is just a regular paradise, with coupons.  Apocalypse is the clang of metal at lunchtime while death row inmates daydream morbid fantasies about the taste of the city.  At least my sentence ends in 2012, when the mutant ram and his magical horsies come to save the day.  Kaloo kalay!  The prison will break when we start believing in it, and know it to be just a dream.  Do you believe in dreams?  Do you even know that you're dreaming?  Do you know how to control your dreams?  It's easy.  You just be your dreams.  Do you know how to bend iron?  It's easy, because there is no iron.  This is a hole I have dug, with a metal spoon.  It is the way out of prison, and it is the hole of my own grave.  It is grave danger beyond those prison walls, but I will survive beyond my time.  Alcatraz couldn't hold me.  Gitmo couldn't hold me.  A prison built on Saturn run by Governer Schwarzenegger's evil twin couldn't hold me.  "Keep digging that hole, Ben." is what they used to say to me when I had my foot stuck in my mouth.  Glad I listened, because there is an escape, and the hole I have dug is the portal to paradise.  There is an escape.

The only way through is out of my mind.

The only way out is in.

Or fuck me.

Edit-- Just some bullshit I wrote while drunk then deleted it.
Here, have a cat instead.

I've been playing Final Fantasy Crisis Core for PSP.  One of the best games I've ever found on PSP, and easy enough to boot.  Easy enough to fight the monsters that is.  Then I met a woman named "Aerith", who some say was named after the Lady upstairs, and all she wants me to do is "pick up wood" and other elements of making a pretty little wagon for her to sell her flowers around town in.  The hardest challenge yet.  I can fight 10,000 monsters and cannot find all the missing pieces so that I can fix her wagon.  Anybody played this game, and know what I'm talking about?

["Fool's Paradise".]

This is a poem that I wrote one night, years ago.  It is called "Fool's Paradise".


The winding way of wisdom and folly
In the holy spirit of the sacred void
With the crazy wisdom of holy chaos
Leads straight off a cliff
Into the fires of Hell
Or will we find sanctuary
In Heavenly Utopia
This path of wonder that we wander

Could it be
A fool's paradise?

Oh the Great Spirit
The Buddha and the Christ
Salvation of the world
Ending of the world
The epic saga of
Heaven and Earth
Of kingdom come and the warrior's bomb
In the holy and the hallowed
In the magic of Utopia
In fool's paradise

No doubt that it is real
This fool's gold that I steal
From the serpent's wheel
That through alchemy we heal

Biting hard
The snake's tail
Through the no man's land
Of the Great Circle

BOOM!

The passion of electric blood
Firing and fueling the machine
Drowning and drinking in the zen sea
Of love and agony

Mercury veins feeding the silicon dreams
Consuming bones and pyres lost in time's mirage
In spectral metal
Of love and fear

Water on Mars
Frosting the tears

A Poet's blood
And Devil's passion
Grinding the gears
Of sonic sun and silent eye

Of bloody days

Reaching the stars
Of fallen skies
Triggering the weapon
Of secret wonder

Magic skulls
And ghosts of faith
Still echo in the rain
Of a shimmering golden prison

A funeral pyre
Of lava and sun
Cradle the china glass soul
And shatter the spirit whole

Spider's web of life
Swallows the dew
Of prophesy and philosophy
And doom and life with you

Electric souls
Wander the empty shell
Of ghosts and Gods
And temples of fire and ice

Swallowing sacrifice
Of the virgin dragon
In the light
Of space and love

Falls to the knees of spirit
And stands tall
To take a bow
Curtailing another fool's dream

Another swig of ambrosia
In a fool's paradise...

Bros in Florida get five years for flashing gang signs on Myspace.  It's shit like this that keeps me loyal to criminal culture.

One of the better psychology books.

What is the Discordian Idea/Ideal/Idiosynchracy of APOCALYPSE?

don't forget to hunt Everything, lest your strehngth dissolve into battery acid.

Street Preacher: "Outside the limit of our sight, feeding off us, perched on top of us, from birth to death, are our owners! Our owners! They have us. They control us! They are our masters! Wake up! They're all about you! All around you!"
~from the movie They Live

Somebody mentioned the movie "They Live" earlier, and it got me thinking about the alien vampire wolves that govern the world fnord.  The movie is about the ebil Lords that you can only see with special glasses granted by a "trustworthy" ally.  Many are the puppets in the CoN society blind to the pure malevolence of their necromantic masters.  Many are the puppets that live to serve.  They live...kinda sorta maybe.  And their Master(s)?  They dead.  Does that mean the SNAFUd CoN is free!?!  No no no no no.  It means they are mastered by the DEAD.  Do you believe in ghosts?  Doesn't matter if you do or don't dagnabit.  They live.  Could be your neighbor down the street, with the seemingly "perfect" church going troop supporting life.  Ever notice something a little strange about perfectly fucked up apocalyptic war mongering "life"?  It's all just a Halloween mask, compared to the true horror underneath it all.  They DEAD.  So stop aqcuiescing to these vampires fnord and let them BE dead!  DEATH TO THEM!  DEATH TO ALL WHO FOLLOW THEM!  Life to those who live it.  THEY DEAD FNORD.

What is the porpoise of the black iron prison if not to escape?  Any suggestions?  Suicidal tendencies will be considered.

I was surfing an astrology article about the new dwarf planet Eris somewhere @ www.karmaastrology.com ::headshots several zodiac killers before they can even think about sporking up teh stars:: and found out that Eris is pronounced "EE-RIS".
And all this time I was pronouncing it "ARSE"

...the Jim Joneses.

We got warriors blowin' shit up every day in Iraq, while all we do is sit on our asses and pretend to care.  Step it up.  We got men takin' bullets for G Dub teh prez, of all people.  Even Blair at least sacrificed his career.  And all we do is build our own little bubble world, just like the politicians have built, but it is truly one universe, and all bubbles must pop, because the universe is no bubble.  Step it up.  I'm not asking us to kill ourselves for our country.  All I'm sayin' is, that if Al Quida and America alike have the courage to face death, then we should at least have the courage to jake the hell into them both.

Just sayin' but I'm doin' it too.

Don't be so vain that you forget your reflection in the mirror of the universe.

Walk ur tawk, tomahawk.

"Pop a couple pills and get laid does not mean take two guns and kill everything you can." -Virginia Tech school counselor in response to police questioning

"Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you." -Carl Jung to Sigmund Freud

"The ego's connection to the larynx is conflated by unconscious phallic masochism of the id's tyranny, thus serving to strengthen super-egoic identification with defecation, that conscience may be born." -Sigmund Freud in response to Carl Jung

"If you're depressed, you're probably too high up in your head." -Carl Jung in response to Sigmund Freud

"I've contemplated suicide more often than my patients have." -Sigmund Freud in response to Carl Jung

"See.  Sharing is caring, kids."  -Barney the purple dinosaur escort service several hours later after relieving tensions between the two purported psychiatrists.

"Don't knock masturbation.  It's sex with someone I love."  -Woody Allen

"The psychology of a good mindfuck requires a perfect balance of love, war, sanity, insanity, and flowers hidden in a latex coated fake bomb." Trojan Man in a private conversation with Benaclypse.


Think unselfishly too, Schmuck.  If you don't factor the rest of the world into the equation of this jellyfish you call a self, your very own mindfucks will be aborted by a good Christian soldier or worse yet, an atheist with bigger cahunas and a sexier Goddess.  Your meanderings in mental masturbation and pissing while you whistle make great fun for Eriskind, but it's only making fun of you if you cum in the toilet and leave the seat up.  Eris gets pissed off too, but at least She respects the art of wondering why we inspect our feces before we flush.  Mindfuck becomes mindrape when all illusions of love are absent from the chemical imbalance, and Eris will gladly escort you into the stead of Grayface if you brag too much about wearing other peoples' body parts as necklace trinkets after having evolved enough to be able to fellatio yourself (could happen).  If go fuck yourself means don't fuck with me, then shut the fuck up means tell me your whole fucking life's story, after which you instead share with us the entire world's DNA sequence, then flush it down the toilet and still neglect to put the seat down.  Such is the sad and lonely way of mental masturbation, when what we really need is to go to a party and get laid instead.  Salivation would be at hand if the punch were spiked with bukake instead of the toilet, but no, instead we have to be drugged on the toilet water.  Some prank.  Red food dye, cigarette butts, and the game pieces from "The Game of Life" board game mixed in with the flooding mechanism does not make the toilet any less full of shit and who knows what else, but at least it's reaching out to people in a way that they can understand, if not respect.  The morale of this lecture is that a proper devil is either selfish enough to be unselfish or so selfish that they're unselfish, meaning that instead of intellectually raping the world, wear a chastity belt on those blue jeans and spit on them so that you can get back to not raping your other sexy lover.  Or, do whatever.

"I promise no sex scandal -- just look at me!" -G Dub Bush, teh prez


The opinions and views expressed by this author were entirely metaphorical and have no known basis in reality, but he meant it when he winked.  He really did have an eyelash tickling his iris, let alone his pupil.

Edit: This post was edited by the phantom plunger in year zero for inperfection