Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Think for Yourself, Schmuck! => Topic started by: THE QLIPHITISER on January 15, 2018, 04:41:22 AM

Title: Theological Questions!
Post by: THE QLIPHITISER on January 15, 2018, 04:41:22 AM
Is heaven just a method to get people to pull down their/zip up there - pants?  :eek:


Does Yahweh like or hate hanging around with Eris?


Do Santa and Satan get along?


Is Christianism compatible with Santaism?



Is Paul (The so-called "apostle") the most successful cult leader of all time?



I wrote a new Bible book, where can I submit it?
Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: THE QLIPHITISER on January 16, 2018, 08:33:30 AM
If two people from three different religions all hate each other, does that make them friends?
Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: LMNO on January 16, 2018, 01:01:38 PM
(http://www.redkid.net/generator/8ball/newsign.php?line1=Focus&line2=And+Ask&line3=Again&Shake+Me=Shake+Me)
Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: Cramulus on January 16, 2018, 03:47:12 PM
Quote from: St Accelerated Evolution on January 15, 2018, 04:41:22 AM
Is heaven just a method to get people to pull down their/zip up there - pants?  :eek:

The most cynical take on religion would say Heaven / Hell is just a motivational tool.

The old Hebrew word for Hell, Sheol, really refers to the shaded slope on the west side of the city of Jerusalem, where everyone threw their garbage. "When you die, you go to Sheol", in a literal sense means that if your life wasn't worth anything, we just throw you in the trash.

(http://www.itsalways.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Throw-me-in-the-trash.gif)





QuoteDoes Yahweh like or hate hanging around with Eris?

she's like an internet troll on his forum


she loves the idea of the forum but she hates most of the mods & members



QuoteIs Christianism compatible with Santaism?

in a yin/yang sense

in the Jungian Shadow sense


compatible as in symbiotic







QuoteIs Paul (The so-called "apostle") the most successful cult leader of all time?

He's up there, but he was drinking from the Old Egyptian punch bowl.

Arguably the most successful cult leader was the dude who originally converted Paul.

The early apostles had an idea - they wanted to capture some of the real powerful ancient ideas from Pre-Sand Egypt. Christian ceremonies were not invented by these old patriarchs, they were borrowed from an older (non-jewish) form. They retold the Mithras/Horus/etc stories as current events so that people wouldn't get hung up on the other egyptian baggage. Paul et al cut out the dances and physical movements in Egyptian ceremonies, repackaged the concepts as something new, called it Christianity.


So the root question is - who converted Paul?


QuoteI wrote a new Bible book, where can I submit it?

Did the pink laser hit you in the third eye?

Was the book written using your Pineal Gland?

If not, submit it to the fuckin trash


and if it was divinely inspired & written with your pineal gland, submit it to the fuckin trash harder
Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: THE QLIPHITISER on January 17, 2018, 12:27:26 AM
Yeah, they took the Tanakh, added some books and repackaged it as the "old" testament with new added meanings/interpretations.
Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: THE QLIPHITISER on January 17, 2018, 12:37:36 AM
"Christianism" and "Satanity", is how I like to refer to it.

Seeing how true Satanism IS Christianity, it's amusing how atheists who are still pissed about their Christian upbringing, claim to be "Satanists" to fuck with people.
Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: THE QLIPHITISER on January 17, 2018, 03:03:29 AM
To be fair, a large majority of "Christians" are just "Jesusists" - aka ignoring most of the Bibles doctrines for a very basic identification with the hero archetype and the heaven ideal + turning up at church every Sunday to pretend to be more into their religion then they actually are




Back with Christianity origins - it was pretty much like:

"Ok lets steal the Jewish scriptures and ignore everything except for what is relevant to the Jesus narrative we are trying to put together"
Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on January 17, 2018, 04:50:09 PM
Quote from: St Accelerated Evolution on January 17, 2018, 03:03:29 AM
To be fair, a large majority of "Christians" are just "Jesusists" - aka ignoring most of the Bibles doctrines for a very basic identification with the hero archetype and the heaven ideal + turning up at church every Sunday to pretend to be more into their religion then they actually are




Back with Christianity origins - it was pretty much like:

"Ok lets steal the Jewish scriptures and ignore everything except for what is relevant to the Jesus narrative we are trying to put together"

:lulz: They especially ignore the fun parts of Genesis like the whole Nephilim thing and that one time Abraham sold his wife to the Pharaoh and told him she was his sister. Good times!
Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: THE QLIPHITISER on January 17, 2018, 09:10:40 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on January 17, 2018, 04:50:09 PM
:lulz: They especially ignore the fun parts of Genesis like the whole Nephilim thing and that one time Abraham sold his wife to the Pharaoh and told him she was his sister. Good times!

Yeah, that kind of stuff is awesome but Christians completely ignore it or pass it off. (At least in mystical Judaism you see those kinds of Biblical elements actually explored/explained - albeit differently to Christianity)


Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: THE QLIPHITISER on January 17, 2018, 09:16:09 PM
Going between both Christianity and Judaism, it's amazing to see how differently they interpret the scripture that they share (generally speaking, the Tanakh is mostly included ** in a different order, in Christianity as the "Old Testament" - with a few books added.....)
What I began to see quickly is how such a large amount of orthodox Christian doctrine is actually derived from the New Testament (bingo Jesus) and in particular Paul's contributions (14 books). - This obviously results in a perverted understanding of the "Old' testament + reading connections that aren't there.


Also, so so so many Christian denominations have no idea whatsoever how to interpret The Book Of Revelation....at all. And because of this, there are so many Christians that negatively walk around with the 'Apocalypse mindset", which Revelation isn't even about!
....but that's the "New" Testament.  :lulz:



**different translations, applied meanings and the lot
Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: THE QLIPHITISER on January 18, 2018, 10:26:54 PM
What the fuck is up with Satanism?


They are so 'hurt' by Christianity that they can't simply just call themselves atheists and call it a day - instead, they use unrelated symbology and choose to identify themselves with a little angel who had a tantrum in several chapters of the Bible and had little significance otherwise. It seems that they think that identifying themselves with this insignificant angel, makes them "edgy".


"I am a Satanist, I swear, I just don't believe in Satan. I can't be just an atheist, else then where is my identity?" - [Satanist then goes off and cries in a corner]
Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on January 20, 2018, 08:09:46 PM
Quote from: St Accelerated Evolution on January 18, 2018, 10:26:54 PM
What the fuck is up with Satanism?


They are so 'hurt' by Christianity that they can't simply just call themselves atheists and call it a day - instead, they use unrelated symbology and choose to identify themselves with a little angel who had a tantrum in several chapters of the Bible and had little significance otherwise. It seems that they think that identifying themselves with this insignificant angel, makes them "edgy".


"I am a Satanist, I swear, I just don't believe in Satan. I can't be just an atheist, else then where is my identity?" - [Satanist then goes off and cries in a corner]

Wanna bet LaVey had a copy of the PD?
Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on January 20, 2018, 08:14:31 PM
Quote from: St Accelerated Evolution on January 17, 2018, 09:10:40 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on January 17, 2018, 04:50:09 PM
:lulz: They especially ignore the fun parts of Genesis like the whole Nephilim thing and that one time Abraham sold his wife to the Pharaoh and told him she was his sister. Good times!

Yeah, that kind of stuff is awesome but Christians completely ignore it or pass it off. (At least in mystical Judaism you see those kinds of Biblical elements actually explored/explained - albeit differently to Christianity)

The Book of Enki is a great place to start making comparisons. Possibly fictional but definitely along the lines of WHAT the nephilim might have been.

To be clear I don't believe in Sitchen's assertions. There's "ancient aliens" and then there's WHAT REALLY HAPPENED.

MACK BEN BEN!
:backpedal:
Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: minuspace on January 22, 2018, 12:46:40 AM
Quote:
>>Does Yahweh like or hate hanging around with Eris?

I think both, relatable for the same and also different reasons. You guys'eses member how they used to snub Yahweh, the invidious names they would taunt him with, that thing about his mother, etc. All things that would make his relationship to Eris somewhat complicated.
Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: OS Not Found on January 22, 2018, 02:57:16 AM
Where are the sisters of all the only begotten sons?

Seems odd to specify sons if there were not daughters to distinguish them from, else they would just be only begotten children
Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: minuspace on January 22, 2018, 06:14:16 AM
Quote from: OS Not Found on January 22, 2018, 02:57:16 AM
Where are the sisters of all the only begotten sons?

Seems odd to specify sons if there were not daughters to distinguish them from, else they would just be only begotten children
"Signs point to incest"
Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: ReverendJesus on January 24, 2018, 09:21:05 AM
Quote from: Space Adventures Of Christ on January 18, 2018, 10:26:54 PM
What the fuck is up with Satanism?

They are so 'hurt' by Christianity that they can't simply just call themselves atheists and call it a day - instead, they use unrelated symbology and choose to identify themselves with a little angel who had a tantrum in several chapters of the Bible and had little significance otherwise. It seems that they think that identifying themselves with this insignificant angel, makes them "edgy".

"I am a Satanist, I swear, I just don't believe in Satan. I can't be just an atheist, else then where is my identity?" - [Satanist then goes off and cries in a corner]

Real simple equation, here.
Christians won't stop vomiting their hate-filled word salad at kids in school just because the Atheists said so, and an atheist can't threaten anything that the jeebusfreak is scared of. Lawsuit? Big deal! My church has a legal fund for this kind of thing. Violence, vandalism, disruption? Super easy to get the cops to take the "disruptive citizen" out of the meeting you're trying to stop them opening with a prayer.
But you know who can threaten shit they believe in? The Devil.
"If you don't get the fuck off the football field with your prayers, we're gonna arrest you and your name will be in the paper and Pat Robertson will make you fucking famous" isn't a deterrent.
So you can't play by YOUR OWN rules here -- YOU'VE GOT TO PLAY BY THEIRS.
What are these simpering fucknozzles afraid of?
That's right, boys and grills: the satyr under the bed.
"If you don't stop handing out your little god-pamphlets, then Mister Satan gets to hand out coloring books!"
It's the only thing that shuts them down.
Look how quickly they cave when TST brings that stupid bronze statue of Baphomet to their little one-horse towns!
Sometimes, when junior's afraid of the monster in the closet, the easiest way to keep him in bed is to tell him it's real.
It's all OM.
Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: THE QLIPHITISER on January 24, 2018, 09:35:32 AM
Quote from: ReverendJesus on January 24, 2018, 09:21:05 AM
Real simple equation, here.
Christians won't stop vomiting their hate-filled word salad at kids in school just because the Atheists said so, and an atheist can't threaten anything that the jeebusfreak is scared of. Lawsuit? Big deal! My church has a legal fund for this kind of thing. Violence, vandalism, disruption? Super easy to get the cops to take the "disruptive citizen" out of the meeting you're trying to stop them opening with a prayer.
But you know who can threaten shit they believe in? The Devil.
"If you don't get the fuck off the football field with your prayers, we're gonna arrest you and your name will be in the paper and Pat Robertson will make you fucking famous" isn't a deterrent.
So you can't play by YOUR OWN rules here -- YOU'VE GOT TO PLAY BY THEIRS.
What are these simpering fucknozzles afraid of?
That's right, boys and grills: the satyr under the bed.
"If you don't stop handing out your little god-pamphlets, then Mister Satan gets to hand out coloring books!"
It's the only thing that shuts them down.
Look how quickly they cave when TST brings that stupid bronze statue of Baphomet to their little one-horse towns!
Sometimes, when junior's afraid of the monster in the closet, the easiest way to keep him in bed is to tell him it's real.
It's all OM.

True, it is quite a political thing (however whiny it looks). There are still a lot of places where Christianity is socially and legally held in much higher esteem than other religions.


Namaste and Om to you too  8)
Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: minuspace on January 24, 2018, 11:12:45 AM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on January 20, 2018, 08:09:46 PM
Quote from: St Accelerated Evolution on January 18, 2018, 10:26:54 PM
What the fuck is up with Satanism?


They are so 'hurt' by Christianity that they can't simply just call themselves atheists and call it a day - instead, they use unrelated symbology and choose to identify themselves with a little angel who had a tantrum in several chapters of the Bible and had little significance otherwise. It seems that they think that identifying themselves with this insignificant angel, makes them "edgy".


"I am a Satanist, I swear, I just don't believe in Satan. I can't be just an atheist, else then where is my identity?" - [Satanist then goes off and cries in a corner]

Wanna bet LaVey had a copy of the PD?
Anton LeVey Speak Of The Devil
httpx://m.youtube.com/watch?v=S2Nlu7LMWUI
Caught the first few minutes, much funny, camp-endearing.
Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: Doktor Howl on January 25, 2018, 03:08:15 AM
Quote from: ReverendJesus on January 24, 2018, 09:21:05 AM
Quote from: Space Adventures Of Christ on January 18, 2018, 10:26:54 PM
What the fuck is up with Satanism?

They are so 'hurt' by Christianity that they can't simply just call themselves atheists and call it a day - instead, they use unrelated symbology and choose to identify themselves with a little angel who had a tantrum in several chapters of the Bible and had little significance otherwise. It seems that they think that identifying themselves with this insignificant angel, makes them "edgy".

"I am a Satanist, I swear, I just don't believe in Satan. I can't be just an atheist, else then where is my identity?" - [Satanist then goes off and cries in a corner]

Real simple equation, here.
Christians won't stop vomiting their hate-filled word salad at kids in school just because the Atheists said so, and an atheist can't threaten anything that the jeebusfreak is scared of. Lawsuit? Big deal! My church has a legal fund for this kind of thing. Violence, vandalism, disruption? Super easy to get the cops to take the "disruptive citizen" out of the meeting you're trying to stop them opening with a prayer.
But you know who can threaten shit they believe in? The Devil.
"If you don't get the fuck off the football field with your prayers, we're gonna arrest you and your name will be in the paper and Pat Robertson will make you fucking famous" isn't a deterrent.
So you can't play by YOUR OWN rules here -- YOU'VE GOT TO PLAY BY THEIRS.
What are these simpering fucknozzles afraid of?
That's right, boys and grills: the satyr under the bed.
"If you don't stop handing out your little god-pamphlets, then Mister Satan gets to hand out coloring books!"
It's the only thing that shuts them down.
Look how quickly they cave when TST brings that stupid bronze statue of Baphomet to their little one-horse towns!
Sometimes, when junior's afraid of the monster in the closet, the easiest way to keep him in bed is to tell him it's real.
It's all OM.

Well said, but you missed one essential point:  Nobody owes anyone any kind of explanation for anything.

Fuck you, I do what I want.
Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: Eumenes on January 28, 2018, 06:54:52 AM
Quote from: Space Adventures Of Christ on January 15, 2018, 04:41:22 AM
Is heaven just a method to get people to pull down their/zip up there - pants?  :eek:
Yes. Self-assumed obsolescence; wherein the Unique is subsumed by legion.

QuoteDoes Yahweh like or hate hanging around with Eris?
They're drinking buddies.
The Abridged True Story of YHVH-1 (https://imgur.com/a/7GbQx)

QuoteDo Santa and Satan get along?
There are many of both; too non-specific. Outlook unresolvable.
I suggest you direct multiple inquiries to Santa(s)' postal drop box in Uummannaq, Greenland.

QuoteIs Christianism compatible with Santaism?
Depends which organization owns the brand & trademark rights, as well as how zealously they litigate.
[Aforementioned terms applied interchangeably towards militant/liberal/crusading factions]
[For the purposes of these statements & their interpretations the term (LIBERAL) is to be strictly held to only be in reference to the use of monetary investment capital, &/or leveraged private lands, &/or any unforeseen methods of marketing &/or usury]

QuoteIs Paul (The so-called "apostle") the most successful cult leader of all time?
I have no regard for the answer to this.

QuoteI wrote a new Bible book, where can I submit it?
Your local library's overnight drop-off.

QuoteIf two people from three different religions all hate each other, does that make them friends?
The opposition of an enemy is rarely a friend: all enemies should be welcomed as friends.
Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on February 01, 2018, 05:50:39 PM
Quote from: Space Adventures Of Christ on January 15, 2018, 04:41:22 AMIs Paul (The so-called "apostle") the most successful cult leader of all time?

I think of him as more of a spammer than a cult leader

Quote from: Space Adventures Of Christ on January 15, 2018, 04:41:22 AMIs Christianism compatible with Santaism?

Clarify. Do you mean LeVeyan satanism or Gilles-de-Rais/David-Berkowitz/Richard-Ramirez satanism?

In the first case, no, they're opposed. In the second case I do think the Son of Sam might get along nicely with Herbert Mullin if they ever found themselves moved to the same prison.
Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: ReverendJesus on February 02, 2018, 06:37:42 AM
Quote from: Space Adventures Of Christ on January 15, 2018, 04:41:22 AMIs Christianism compatible with Santaism?

Clarify. Do you mean LeVeyan satanism or Gilles-de-Rais/David-Berkowitz/Richard-Ramirez satanism?
[/quote]

Don't forget The Satanic Temple, who are about as theistic as...well...atheists
Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: Faust on February 02, 2018, 08:46:19 AM
Quote from: ReverendJesus on February 02, 2018, 06:37:42 AM
Quote from: Space Adventures Of Christ on January 15, 2018, 04:41:22 AMIs Christianism compatible with Santaism?

Clarify. Do you mean LeVeyan satanism or Gilles-de-Rais/David-Berkowitz/Richard-Ramirez satanism?

Don't forget The Satanic Temple, who are about as theistic as...well...atheists
[/quote]

They are dogmatic Randians which is almost worse, Liberatarianism with candles
Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: minuspace on February 02, 2018, 12:01:44 PM
""If you don't stop handing out your little god-pamphlets, then Mister Satan gets to hand out coloring books!""
—R.J. [://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php/topic,38291.msg1416292.html#msg1416292]

This guy gets it.
Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: THE QLIPHITISER on February 03, 2018, 05:14:18 AM
It's not exactly a serious thread, but whatever.


The Christianism vs Satanity thing, is interesting; as there are many people that fuse religions together in a 'customer order' way, I find the notion of this hilarious (particularly for orthodox, conservative Christians)

Quote"Hello, I am a Christian and love Jesus. I was wondering if Christianity is comparable with Satanism because I am starting to find Satanism attractive. Can I be both a satanist and a christian?"


Also, Christianism isn't Christianity, Satanity isn't satanism  :lulz:


Explaining the joke though.......aye, the only way you'll follow my train of thought?  :eek: I thought we where discordians  :wink:
Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on February 03, 2018, 04:27:13 PM
Quote from: Space Adventures Of Christ on January 18, 2018, 10:26:54 PM
What the fuck is up with Satanism?


They are so 'hurt' by Christianity that they can't simply just call themselves atheists and call it a day - instead, they use unrelated symbology and choose to identify themselves with a little angel who had a tantrum in several chapters of the Bible and had little significance otherwise. It seems that they think that identifying themselves with this insignificant angel, makes them "edgy".


"I am a Satanist, I swear, I just don't believe in Satan. I can't be just an atheist, else then where is my identity?" - [Satanist then goes off and cries in a corner]

Silly, right? What they really ought to do is align themselves with Eris and/or BOB without believing in their literal existence...
Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on February 05, 2018, 12:33:21 AM
Quote from: Space Adventures Of Christ on January 15, 2018, 04:41:22 AMI wrote a new Bible book, where can I submit it?

Historically it was PO box 140306 Dallas Texas but I think that got changed
Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: THE QLIPHITISER on February 18, 2018, 03:51:26 AM
Quote from: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on February 05, 2018, 12:33:21 AM
Quote from: Space Adventures Of Christ on January 15, 2018, 04:41:22 AMI wrote a new Bible book, where can I submit it?

Historically it was PO box 140306 Dallas Texas but I think that got changed

Nice reference  :lulz:
Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: THE QLIPHITISER on March 20, 2018, 05:50:28 AM
Is it hypocritical to not be hypocritical?

Are Elohim, Allah, Yahweh and Jehovah friends or enemies?

Is the Principia Discordia your favorite tv show?

What is the ultimate goal of immortality?

Is there an after-after-after-after-afterlife?

Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: Frontside Back on March 20, 2018, 08:08:01 AM
What's the fucking point in afterlife if I so often forget who I was yesterday. I'd trade continuity for more iterations.
Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: THE QLIPHITISER on June 05, 2018, 04:09:54 AM
Quote from: Frontside Back on March 20, 2018, 08:08:01 AM
What's the fucking point in afterlife if I so often forget who I was yesterday. I'd trade continuity for more iterations.

The afterlife is like an after-party  :lulz:


Nay?  :wink: :wink:
Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on June 05, 2018, 03:30:37 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on January 16, 2018, 03:47:12 PM
Quote from: St Accelerated Evolution on January 15, 2018, 04:41:22 AM
Is heaven just a method to get people to pull down their/zip up there - pants?  :eek:

The most cynical take on religion would say Heaven / Hell is just a motivational tool.

The old Hebrew word for Hell, Sheol, really refers to the shaded slope on the west side of the city of Jerusalem, where everyone threw their garbage. "When you die, you go to Sheol", in a literal sense means that if your life wasn't worth anything, we just throw you in the trash.

I thought that was Gehenna, not Sheol
Title: Re: Theological Questions!
Post by: minuspace on June 06, 2018, 01:46:07 AM
Quote from: Frontside Back on March 20, 2018, 08:08:01 AM
What's the fucking point in afterlife if I so often forget who I was yesterday. I'd trade continuity for more iterations.
I have it on good authority that without continuity, dfference becomes indistinguishable.
Or,
Not remembering your past lives?
Trade up NOW for a soul that works!!!