- Roger: Bill Clinton saying "I did not have sex with that woman".
- Chef's response: "FOOL SHOULD HAVE SAID, 'FUCK YOU, I'M SICK!', AND THEN HE SHOULD HAVE DONE THE HAMMERTIME DANCE ON ORRIN HATCH'S SKULL."
(http://bbs.fuckedcompany.com/icons/hammertime.gif)<----Clinton
(http://bbs.fuckedcompany.com/icons/sadbanana.gif)<----Orrin Hatch.
Chef and I will now give the correct response to any bungled political situation you can think of. Please note that Chef isn't actually LOOSE, I just thought it would be nice to let him spew his crap in a more controlled fashion than normal (and, in return, have a little less random noise in my head).
TGRR & Chef,
Best political team since Carville and Begala.
Great political mistakes:
Margaret Thatcher and the Poll Tax.
Letting CHEF loose in any capacity.
Quote from: Oracle O SwitchingToGeicoGreat political mistakes:
Margaret Thatcher and the Poll Tax.
Roger:
"Her popularity finally declined when she introduced a new tax, the Community Charge, to pay for local government which opponents called the poll tax, and the Conservative Party began to split over her sceptical approach to European Economic and Monetary Union. Her leadership was challenged from within and she was forced to resign in 1990. In 1992 she became Baroness Thatcher, and her direct political work limited to membership of the House of Lords and as head of the Thatcher Foundation."Chef's response: "THA HONEY SHOULD HAVE BECOME A BARONESS
FIRST, AND THEN BEHEADED ANYONE WHO COMPLAINED ABOUT THA POLL TAX. D/N/T."
Quote from: Oracle O SwitchingToGeico
Letting CHEF loose in any capacity.
Roger: Letting Chef barf a little...proper venting, or tragic mistake?
Chef's response: "WORST MISTAKE SINCE YOU WENT TO SUPERCUTS, SON!"
(http://bbs.fuckedcompany.com/icons/tdcs.gif)
Germany invading the Soviet Union in 1941
Quote from: Ghost of ScribeGermany invading the Soviet Union in 1941
Roger: Did Hitler allow his generals to fatally delay Operation Barbarossa, or did he attack too soon...or should he have never attacked Russia at all?
Chef's response: "DUMBASS OPIE SHOULD NEVER HAVE TESTED AFTER MAY. HE WAITED TOO LONG, AND GOT BOGGED DOWN BY GENERAL WINTER (WHO WOULD FUCKING
ANYBODY), AND STALIN SENT HIM HOME WIFF HIS TEEF IN A BAGGIE. HE SHOULD HAVE STEPPED EARLIER, AFTER SENDING BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN SPLIT STALIN'S DOME. MORAL OF THE STORY: STEP HARD, OR DON'T STEP AT ALL, SON."
War in Iraq
I HATE ORIN HATCH.
What a fucktard. Someone please assassinate him. He's worse then John Kerry or GWB could ever be. Mainly because he's a mor(m)on.
Just saying.
Quote from: ?War in Iraq
Roger: What was the principle mistake made concerning the war in Iraq?
Chef's response: "WHEN YOU STEP, YOU BRING LUNCH OR DON'T STEP AT ALL. THA CHIEF OPIE IN CHARGE NEVAH SHOULD HAVE INVADED WIFFOUT A BETTER POST-WAR PLAN THAN '...THEN IRAQ WILL SPONTANEOUSLY TURN INTO OHIO, AND THEY'LL ALL WAVE AMERICAN FLAGS AND THROW ROSE PETALS'. CHEF KNOWS THAT ANY PLAN THAT INVOLVES THE WORDS 'THEN THE POPULATION WILL RISE UP TO SUPPORT US' IS GONNA LEAD TO A LOT OF TEDDY BEARS AT GHETTO SHRINES. THEN THA TARD ACTS LIKE THA "ELECTION" SOLVED EVERYTHING. WHY ARE OPIEZ SO FUCKING STUPID?"
Roger: So, the mistake wasn't the war itself, but rather the execution of that war?
Chef's response: "HELL NO, YUO MORAN! ANY NATION THAT GETS ITSELF INVOLVED IN A WAR THAT HAS NO OBJECTIVES DESERVES THA BROKE-ASS JAW IT GETS. DUMBASS OPIEZ THREW AWAY THA MYTH OF THE INVINCIBILITY OF THE AMERICAN MILITARY, AND NOW EVERYONE AND THEIR GRAMMA WANTS TO TEST."
AMERICA = (http://bbs.fuckedcompany.com/icons/fatbanana.gif) + (http://bbs.fuckedcompany.com/icons/nigel.gif)
What post war plan? Chef made a funny :shock: :twisted:
Quote from: CHEFDUMBASS OPIEZ THREW AWAY THA MYTH OF THE INVINCIBILITY OF THE AMERICAN MILITARY
Didn't that get thrown away in Southeast Asia about (looks at watch) 30 years ago this April? Oh fuck. April is going to be a bad month this year. Flashback nightmares at my house :twisted: Fucking military :twisted:
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of AlchemyWhat post war plan? Chef made a funny :shock: :twisted:
I think that was intentional.
Fuck, I edited the above, more for you to :roll: about :roll:
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy
Didn't that get thrown away in Southeast Asia about (looks at watch) 30 years ago this April? Oh fuck. April is going to be a bad month this year. Flashback nightmares at my house :twisted: Fucking military :twisted:
Roger: Let's ask Chef.
Chef's response: "TROOF. BUT OPIEZ - AND THA WORLD - FORGOT ABOUT ALL DAT AFTER DESERT STORM. WHAT THE MORANS DIDN'T REALIZE IS THAT THE AMERICAN MILITARY WAS NEVER DESIGNED TO FIGHT INSURGENCIES...IT WAS DESIGNED TO FIGHT THA SOVIETS. SO THE DUMBASSES FELT ALL INVINCIBLE AGAIN, AND GOT FUCKINGED HARD BY SADR AND ZARQAWI...AND THEY AIN'T SEEN NOTHING YET."
This reminds me, I have some books in my trunk.
Plan of Attack
and a couple of other ones. Anyone want them? I think there are 3, so the first 3 people to PM me can fight over them.
Chef, what should be the first steps towards re-vitalizing the inner city and ultimetly decreasing crime and poverty?
Quote from: EfrimChef, what should be the first steps towards re-vitalizing the inner city and ultimetly decreasing crime and poverty?
Roger: Chef?
Chef: "THIS THREAD IS FOR REVIEWING PAST POLITICAL ERRORS, FOOL! DON'T MAKE ME TAKE YOU TO THA HOUSE!"
Roger: Perhaps, Efrim, if you could put that into a question more fitting to the thread?
TGRR & Chef,
Kinda like Alec Guinness working with a pit bull.
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: EfrimChef, what should be the first steps towards re-vitalizing the inner city and ultimetly decreasing crime and poverty?
Roger: Chef?
Chef: "THIS THREAD IS FOR REVIEWING PAST POLITICAL ERRORS, FOOL! DON'T MAKE ME TAKE YOU TO THA HOUSE!"
Roger: Perhaps, Efrim, if you could put that into a question more fitting to the thread?
TGRR & Chef,
Kinda like Alec Guinness working with a pit bull.
Clearly, I wasn't paying attention. Many apologies.
Chef, please speak on the destruction of the library of Alexandria.
Quote from: EfrimQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: EfrimChef, what should be the first steps towards re-vitalizing the inner city and ultimetly decreasing crime and poverty?
Roger: Chef?
Chef: "THIS THREAD IS FOR REVIEWING PAST POLITICAL ERRORS, FOOL! DON'T MAKE ME TAKE YOU TO THA HOUSE!"
Roger: Perhaps, Efrim, if you could put that into a question more fitting to the thread?
TGRR & Chef,
Kinda like Alec Guinness working with a pit bull.
Clearly, I wasn't paying attention. Many apologies.
Chef, please speak on the destruction of the library of Alexandria.
Roger: Well, Chef, what caused the burning of the library of Alexandria? Popular myth states that it was burned by a Muslim army, whose general stated that "If the contents of the library contradict the Koran, they are blasphemous, and if they agree with the Koran, they are redundant.".
Chef responds: "THOSE PUNK ASS PTOLEMYS SHOULD NEVAH HAVE TESTED THA RAW FURY THAT WAS PBRUCE. NUFF SAID. OPIE."
Roger: Are you suggesting that Bruce Spingsteen burned down the library of Alexandria more than 1500 years before he was born?
Chef responds: "YUO GOT WAX IN YOUR EARS, BUKRA-BOI? I SAID "PBRUCE", WHO MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BEEN A DISTANT ANCESTOR OF BRUCE. EITHER WAY, THE PTOLEMYS SHOULD NEVAH HAVE STEPPED."
Roger: Well, there you have it, Efrim. Do never test the Pbruce.
Fascinating.
Chef, please speak on the botched bay of pigs invasion.
Quote from: EfrimFascinating.
Chef, please speak on the botched bay of pigs invasion.
Roger: The Bay of Pigs invasion...an unfortunate turn of events, or just cynical posturing by JFK?
Chef responds: "WTF? WHEN DID THEY INVADE LOS ANGELES?"
Roger: ...
here's one I'd like to see answered when I come in in the morning...
Chef, please give your thoughts on the inability or unwillingness of the Democratic Party to field a more palatable presidential candidate than John Fucking KERRY in an election year where anybody with an ounce of charisma would have carried the election handily?
8)
Quote from: Se?±or Limpio Calzoncilloshere's one I'd like to see answered when I come in in the morning...
Chef, please give your thoughts on the inability or unwillingness of the Democratic Party to field a more palatable presidential candidate than John Fucking KERRY in an election year where anybody with an ounce of charisma would have carried the election handily?
8)
Roger: John Kerry managed to blow a lock on the 2004 election. Was this because he, himself was inept, or did his handlers lead him astray? Was there a better candidate?
Chef responds: "JOHN KERRY IS THE QUINTESSENTIAL OPIE. FACT: HE COULDN'T GET LAID IN A MORGUE, AND HAS NEVER ONCE BEEN TO THA CLUB. BUSH, ON THE OTHER HAND, WAS A PARTY ANIMAL FROM THE OLD SKOOL*."
Roger: Who should the Democrats have fielded?
Chef responds: "AL SHARPTON WOULD FUCKING
ANYBODY. HIM AND DEAN WOULD HAVE MADE THA UNBEATABLE TICKET. AMERICA HAS HAD IT'S SHARE OF OPIEZ IN CHEAP SUITS. WE NEED A BROTHA AND THA CRAZY WHITE BOY FROM VERMONT."
* = Harvard IS pretty old.
fascinating....Bush actually went to Yale, BTW, but fascinating nonetheless...I not only would have voted for Sharpton, I would have volunteered for his campaign...
8)
Quote from: Se?±or Limpio Calzoncillosfascinating....Bush actually went to Yale, BTW, but fascinating nonetheless...I not only would have voted for Sharpton, I would have volunteered for his campaign...
8)
Roger: Chef, you seem to have been mistaken about Bush's school.
Chef Responds: "14TH AND MINNA, BITCH! WORST MISTAKE SINCE YOU WORE PLAID TO THA CLUB!"
Quote from: Saint Zurtok Ah.D.I HATE ORIN HATCH.
What a fucktard. Someone please assassinate him.
Hey, I'm a 3rd cousin of his! We're family!
Which is why I should be the first to make an assasination attempt.
Regarding inner city revitalization, Jesse Jackson and the Rainbow Coalition: Mistake or no?
Quote from: HoshikoQuote from: Saint Zurtok Ah.D.I HATE ORIN HATCH.
What a fucktard. Someone please assassinate him.
Hey, I'm a 3rd cousin of his! We're family!
Which is why I should be the first to make an assasination attempt.
Regarding inner city revitalization, Jesse Jackson and the Rainbow Coalition: Mistake or no?
Roger: Is Jesse Jackson a help or hindrance in urban renewal?
Chef responds: "JESSE JACKSON IS TEH PIMP. HE MIGHT NOT FIX THA CITY, BUT SURE AS HELL WILL
POPULATE IT. MAD PROPS FOR THA MAC DADDY!"
(http://bbs.fuckedcompany.com/icons/pimp.gif)
Quote from: Se?±or Limpio Calzoncillosfascinating....Bush actually went to Yale, BTW, but fascinating nonetheless...I not only would have voted for Sharpton, I would have volunteered for his campaign...
8)
Bush went to Harvard and Yale, so what, he still never learned to be a decent public speaker :roll:
Bush didn't have the "legacy" angle at Harvard...I refuse to believe they would have let him in unless you provide proof...
8)
Quote from: Se?±or Limpio CalzoncillosBush didn't have the "legacy" angle at Harvard...I refuse to believe they would have let him in unless you provide proof...
8)
(http://www.whitehouse.gov/president/images/300-p25695-23.jpg) (http://www.whitehouse.gov/president/gwbbio.html)
I hate you for making me go to that website, I feel like I need another shower, ew
how is that proof of Bush atending Harvard?
8)
Quote from: Se?±or Limpio Calzoncilloshow is that proof of Bush atending Harvard?
8)
Did you click the link?
Roger, please ask Chef if Caesar had worn a tutu to the Senate that
morning if the course of Western civilization would have been changed
and we would all be worshipping the Greek/Roman pantheon today?
Dear Roger and Chef:
Is the media to blame for Howard Dean's pummeting numbers after the "scream" incident, or was there more nefarious work going on?
What about Abu Gahrib, Roger and Chef?
I know I didn't spell that correctly. Who cares?
Quote from: gnimbleyRoger, please ask Chef if Caesar had worn a tutu to the Senate that
morning if the course of Western civilization would have been changed
and we would all be worshipping the Greek/Roman pantheon today?
I worship the Greco-Roman pantheon already :(
are you all?
all there is?
glad to meet cha
i'm fluffy
Quote from: LMNODear Roger and Chef:
Is the media to blame for Howard Dean's pummeting numbers after the "scream" incident, or was there more nefarious work going on?
Roger: What WAS Dean's biggest mistake?
Chef responds: "DEAN IS THA STOOPIDEST OPIE OF 2004. IF YUO = ANTI-CORPORATE MONOLITH, THEN YOU NEED TO STFU ABOUT IT UNTIL AFTER YOU ARE ELECTED. DEAN ALSO WAS KNOWN TO HATE THA RAIDERS, WHICH DOOMED HIM. EVERYBODY LOVES THA RAIDERS."
Quote from: Chaplin_Sinatra_FonzarellWhat about Abu Gahrib, Roger and Chef?
I know I didn't spell that correctly. Who cares?
Roger: What about Abu Graib? Are you asking about the political ramifications higher up the feeding chain, or are you referring to the effect that the misdoings have had on the Iraqi political scene?
Quote from: gnimbleyRoger, please ask Chef if Caesar had worn a tutu to the Senate that
morning if the course of Western civilization would have been changed
and we would all be worshipping the Greek/Roman pantheon today?
Roger: Chef says that you should get a baggie.
What does CHEF have to say about the war on drugs?
What does CHEF say about the admission of California to the Union?
We're detaching from the rest of the world anyways. Something about Heaven or prairy squid, but most likely paradise.
Quote from: ?We're detaching from the rest of the world anyways. Something about Heaven or prairy squid, but most likely paradise.
Sure, just do like they did in Florida.
Quote from: ?What does CHEF have to say about the war on drugs?
Roger: Has the war on drugs been a success or a failure?
Chef responds: "A TOTAL SUCCESS, OPIE! THAT IS, IF YOU KNOW THAT THE "WAR ON DRUGS" IS, WAS, AND ALWAYS WAS INTENDED TO BE A WAR ON THE BILL OF RIGHTS. D/N/T NANCY THE REAGAN! CIGAW!
ALL THEY HAVE TO DO NOW IS KICK IN YOUR DOOR AND SCREAM "DRUGS"...AND THEN YOUR HOUSE IS GONE, YOUR CAR IS GONE, YOU'RE IN PRISON, AND YOUR LITTLE OPIE KIDDIES ARE FARMED OUT TO DCFS! EVEN IF YOU'RE FOUND INNOCENT, GOOD LUCK GETTING YOUR LIFE BACK! WHO VOTED FOR THIS? THE SAME KIND OF PEOPLE THAT VOTED FOR THA PATRIOT ACT!
AMERICA IS TOO STOOPID TO SURVIVE."
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCWhat does CHEF say about the admission of California to the Union?
Roger: Samuel Clemmens once said "America is tilted two degrees to the West, and all the loose nuts roll to California. Thoughts?"
Chef responds: "CALI IS ONE OF THE ONLY STATES THAT (USUSALLY) REMEMBERS THAT THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE LAND OF THE FREE. FREAKS, BALLERS, MUTANTS, AND TONGANS RUN FREE IN CALIFORNI-A...WHICH IS WHAT THIS WHOLE COUNTRY WAS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE, BEFORE THA RELIGIOUS TARDS AND THA CHEAP HUSTLERS GOT AHOLD OF IT. AND, OF COURSE, THA STOOPID OPIES WENT RIGHT ALONG WIFF IT, AND TURNED AMERICA INTO THA LAND OF "NO FUN". I SHIT ON YOU ALL."
What do you think about the Hutton Inquiry and its findings, in particluar how this sheds light on how Tony Blair runs Government?
Quote from: ScribeWhat do you think about the Hutton Inquiry and its findings, in particluar how this sheds light on how Tony Blair runs Government?
Roger: I will leave any commentary on this to our senior British political analyst, Chef Diesel.
Chef Responds: "DOCTOR KELLY SHOULD NEVER HAVE TESTED."
Roger: Well, there you have it.
What about the election of Carter?
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCWhat about the election of Carter?
Roger: Do you mean the election of Jimmy Carter was bad, or
Chef interrupts: "STFU, OPIE! I GOT DIS ONE. IT'S A FACT THAT ONLY THE DUMBASS DEMOCRATS WOULD HAVE WANTED TO WIN THAT ELECTION. *SOMEONE* WAS GONNA GET LEFT HOLDING THA BAR TAB FOR VIETNAM, AND IT SURE AS HELL WASN'T GOING TO BE THA GOP. SO THEY PICKED FORD TO REPLACE AGNEW (AND THEN NIXON), AND RAN HIS CLUMSY ASS AGAINST CARTER. THEY LOST...SURPRISE! AND THE DEMS ATE SHIT FOR 16 YEARS, DUE TO THE ROYAL ECONOMIC SHAFTING THEY GOT IN 1976-1980. MEANWHILE, THA GOP WAS GROOMING THEIR GOLDEN BOY, REAGAN, TO STEP IN AFTER CARTER "FAILED". STOOPID DEMS O\/\/NED. AND1!!"
Very good.
How about the Waco disaster?
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCVery good.
How about the Waco disaster?
Roger: Was WACO caused by poor planning, or was there an actual conspiracy?
Chef Responds: "DAVID KORESH STEPPED, AND GOT HIS JAW BROKE. DO NEVER TEST AN UGLY-ASS ATTORNEY GENERAL."
What about the LA riots of 1992 because of rodney king getting smacked by cops?
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCWhat about the LA riots of 1992 because of rodney king getting smacked by cops?
Roger: I don't think it was the smackdown that caused it, IIRC, it was the not-guilty verdict on the offending officers.
Chef responds: "YUO CALL *THAT* A RIOT? I'VE SEEN TALUFA DO MORE DAMAGE (AND BEAT UP MORE KOREANS) AFTER A BAD DATE. NOW, WATTS IN 68...*THAT* WAS A RIOT."
What about when France decided to surrender to Hitler?
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCWhat about when France decided to surrender to Hitler?
Roger: Is it
WRONG to taunt the French?
Chef responds: "IFFEN IT'S WRONG, OPIE, I DON'T WANNA BE RIGHT. YUO KNOW WHY THA FRENCH PLANTED TREES ON THE CHAMP DE LESAISES? SO THA KRAUTS COULD MARCH IN THA SHADE."
How about when Bush vomited at that dinner in Tokyo?
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCHow about when Bush vomited at that dinner in Tokyo?
Roger: He puked on the Japanese foreign minister that called Americans "lazy" less than 3 weeks prior to that. Neither Chef nor I consider that a "mistake", though Chef agrees with the Japanese foreign minister.
What about funding the contras?
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCWhat about funding the contras?
Roger: Oh, this one is EASY.
Chef responds: "DAMN RIGHT IT'S EASY, OPIE. TEH MISTAKE WAS GETTING CAUGHT. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YUO LET STOOPID CRACKAS TRY TO BE ALL SHADY. THEY GET CAUGHT. EVERY. FUCKING. TIME. REAGAN SHOULD HAVE HIRED SOME TRIAD MEMBERS FOR THIS TYPE OF SHIT. THEY'D FUCKING ANYBODY, AND THEY'D ALL COMMIT HARRY CAREY BEFORE TESTIFYING TO CONGRESS."
What about Thatcher ignoring intelligence concerns about an invasion of the Falklands?
How about the "invasion" of Grenada?
And what about the mistake of not invading Cuba?
Quote from: ScribeWhat about Thatcher ignoring intelligence concerns about an invasion of the Falklands?
Roger: Again, on Limey issues, I defer to Chef.
Chef responds: "THATCHER TOTALLY FUCKINGED THE ARGENTINIANS, WIFF SATTELITE SUPPORT FROM THE AMERICANS. WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, OPIE?"
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerChef responds: "THATCHER TOTALLY FUCKINGED THE ARGENTINIANS, WIFF SATTELITE SUPPORT FROM THE AMERICANS. WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, OPIE?"
Indeed. <cough>
General Belgrano</cough>
Quote from: Slapdash & CavalierQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerChef responds: "THATCHER TOTALLY FUCKINGED THE ARGENTINIANS, WIFF SATTELITE SUPPORT FROM THE AMERICANS. WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, OPIE?"
Indeed. <cough>General Belgrano</cough>
Roger: .
Chef responds: "WHO WON THA WAR, OPIE? YUO WANT A WAR? 14TH AND MINNA. BRING A NECKBRACE, AND SAVE THE EMTS THA TROUBLE. WORST MISTAKE YOU MADE SINCE TAKING YOUR DATE TO BURGER KING, SON."
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: ScribeWhat about Thatcher ignoring intelligence concerns about an invasion of the Falklands?
Roger: Again, on Limey issues, I defer to Chef.
Chef responds: "THATCHER TOTALLY FUCKINGED THE ARGENTINIANS, WIFF SATTELITE SUPPORT FROM THE AMERICANS. WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, OPIE?"
I mean the intelligence reports before she had to send a task force to pwn the Argies. The one that said they were goign to invade, ocumenting the Argie Navy practising landing on the Falklands themselves weeks before.
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerChef responds: WHO WON THA WAR, OPIE? <snip>
Thatcher did. It got her re-elected. And that is the point. If the General Belgrano hadn't been sunk, who would have won the election?
I was agreeing with you...
Quote from: Slapdash & CavalierQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerChef responds: WHO WON THA WAR, OPIE? <snip>
Thatcher did. It got her re-elected. And that is the point. If the General Belgrano hadn't been sunk, who would have won the election?
I was agreeing with you...
Roger: You should see what happens if you DISAGREE.
Quote from: ScribeQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: ScribeWhat about Thatcher ignoring intelligence concerns about an invasion of the Falklands?
Roger: Again, on Limey issues, I defer to Chef.
Chef responds: "THATCHER TOTALLY FUCKINGED THE ARGENTINIANS, WIFF SATTELITE SUPPORT FROM THE AMERICANS. WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, OPIE?"
I mean the intelligence reports before she had to send a task force to pwn the Argies. The one that said they were goign to invade, ocumenting the Argie Navy practising landing on the Falklands themselves weeks before.
Roger: Chef says to tell you that you should start picking out teddy bears for your ghetto shrine.
Shit :cry:
Quote from: ScribeShit :cry:
You probably shouldn't have tested.
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: ScribeShit :cry:
You probably shouldn't have tested.
Sometimes its what they just have to to.
What does CHEF think that is eventually going to happen to the US because of "our" insurrections against the rest of the world?
What does Chef think about the secret deal between Bush and Bin Laden to keep giving each other excuses to exist?
What does Chef think about the secret deal between Bush and Bin Laden to keep giving each other excuses to exist?
What does Chef think about the secret deal between Bush and Bin Laden to keep giving each other excuses to exist?
What does Chef think about the secret deal between Bush and Bin Laden to keep giving each other excuses to exist?
Quote from: Buddhist_Monk_WannabeWhat does CHEF think that is eventually going to happen to the US because of "our" insurrections against the rest of the world?
Roger: Chef?
Chef responds: "THA USA IS FUXORED, SON. IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME. THA REST OF THA WORLD WON'T COME AFTER THA USA WIFF BOMBS AND STUFF...THEY'LL JUST TRASH OUR ECONOMY AND THEN SIT BACK AND WATCH AMERICA DEVOUR ITSELF. AMERICA = #1 AT SELF-OWNAGE."
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCWhat does Chef think about the secret deal between Bush and Bin Laden to keep giving each other excuses to exist?
Roger: Would this explain why we haven't caught Bin Ladin?
Chef responds: "NOPE. THIS IS PURE TINFOIL HAT MATERIAL. THA USA HASN'T CAUGHT BIN LADIN BECAUSE THEY CAN'T. THEY'RE JUST TOO STOOPID. THEY PUT 11,000 MEN IN A HUGE MOUNTAIN RANGE TO LOOK FOR HIM, AND THEN FORGOT ALL ABOUT IT AND INVADED IRAQ. MEANWHILE, OBL IS GETTING DIALYSIS IN A SAUDI HOSPITAL, AND LAUGHING HIS ASS OFF AT BUSH."
What about Bin Laden's tape that surfaced right before the election. You have the bad guy, Bin Laden, saying Bush is a bad guy, so psychologically weak people are going to get their excersize by jumping to the conclusion that everyone else who says Bush is a bad guy is in cahoots with Bin Laden. How much did this hurt Kerry's chances?
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of AlchemyWhat about Bin Laden's tape that surfaced right before the election. You have the bad guy, Bin Laden, saying Bush is a bad guy, so psychologically weak people are going to get their excersize by jumping to the conclusion that everyone else who says Bush is a bad guy is in cahoots with Bin Laden. How much did this hurt Kerry's chances?
Roger: With all due respect, Eldora, that was not a political
mistake.
Was the UK and France not honouring their alliance with Czechoslovakia during the Sudentenland crisis in 1938 a mistake?
Quote from: ScribeWas the UK and France not honouring their alliance with Czechoslovakia during the Sudentenland crisis in 1938 a mistake?
Roger: Could WWII have been headed off, if Hitler had been spanked for the Sudatenland occupation?
Chef's response: "NO."
how about when we handed control of the Canal Zone back to Panama, who immediately contracted out its operation to a consortium composed primarily of some heavy-hitter Chinese nationals? How long before that comes back to bite us in the ass?
8)
Quote from: Bathory's Sainthoodhow about when we handed control of the Canal Zone back to Panama, who immediately contracted out its operation to a consortium composed primarily of some heavy-hitter Chinese nationals? How long before that comes back to bite us in the ass?
8)
Roger: Oh, this one's EASY.
Chef's response: "TRUE DAT, OPIE! YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE WAR WE HAD ABOUT 15 YEARS AGO, WHEN BUSH I KNOCKED NORIEGA THA FUCK OUT? WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT WAS ALL ABOUT, SON? THE LESSON WAS THIS: 'WE SAID WE WAS GONNA GIVE THE CANAL BACK, AND WE ARE...BUT JUST IN CASE YOU GET ANY FUNNY IDEAS ABOUT NOT LETTING US USE IT...
BAM!' AND1!!"
yeah, I'm well aware of that, but Panama =/= China...anyway, here's another one for you...the pro-independence rhetoric coming from the new Taiwanese president: boldly asserting his country's right to exist as a national entity, or foolishly provoking Beijing at a time when America would be hard-pressed (and IMHO, unlikely) to defend Taiwan in the event of military action?
8)
Quote from: Bathory's Sainthoodyeah, I'm well aware of that, but Panama =/= China...anyway, here's another one for you...the pro-independence rhetoric coming from the new Taiwanese president: boldly asserting his country's right to exist as a national entity, or foolishly provoking Beijing at a time when America would be hard-pressed (and IMHO, unlikely) to defend Taiwan in the event of military action?
8)
Roger: Is Taiwan playing with fire?
Chef responds: "NOPE. CHINESE ARE EVEN STOOPIDER THAN OPIEZ. THE CHINESE NAVY IS A JOKE, AND WOULD GET THEIR JAWS BROKE IF THEY MESSED WIFF TAIWAN'S MASSIVE FORTIFICATIONS AND ANTI-AIRCRAFT NET. ADD IN THE AEGIS CRUIZERS THE USA SOLD TAIWAN, AND YOU HAVE A MASSIVE RECIPE FOR OWNAGE ON A COLLOSSAL SCALE. CHINA WILL NEVER STEP."
if I were Beijing, I'd just sit back and lob missile volleys across the strait until Taipei looked like Dresden circa 1944, then wait until the entire island was utterly demoralized and starving before I sent in the "Reunification Squads"...
8)
I'm sorry...I have ot apologize for that baldfaced lie...if I was Beijing, I'd find me an opium den and a handful of dirty chinese hookers and forget all about some stupid island across the strait....
8)
Quote from: Bathory's Sainthoodif I were Beijing, I'd just sit back and lob missile volleys across the strait until Taipei looked like Dresden circa 1944, then wait until the entire island was utterly demoralized and starving before I sent in the "Reunification Squads"...
8)
Roger: I'll take this one, Chef. BS (love those initials), what you fail to understand is that China wants Taiwan with their means of production intact. What would China gain by a burned down Taiwan? Not much. Chine leaves the pointless lashing out to America.
this is true, but the reality is that China could probably accomplish the total subjugation of hte taiwanese populace without destroying more than 5 or 10 percent of the industrial output capabilities of the entire island (remember, there's also a large manufacturing center in the south of the island), and even that could be restored relatively quickly once order was restored...
8)
Quote from: Bathory's Sainthoodthis is true, but the reality is that China could probably accomplish the total subjugation of hte taiwanese populace without destroying more than 5 or 10 percent of the industrial output capabilities of the entire island (remember, there's also a large manufacturing center in the south of the island), and even that could be restored relatively quickly once order was restored...
8)
Roger: You fail to take their aegis cruisers into account. China's missiles are slow, and have no evasive capability. China = wasted a lot of ordinance, Taiwan = pointing and laughing.
china is mro like communist russia anyway, in that they utilize subterfuge to gain teh upper hand in their affairs.
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: Bathory's Sainthoodthis is true, but the reality is that China could probably accomplish the total subjugation of hte taiwanese populace without destroying more than 5 or 10 percent of the industrial output capabilities of the entire island (remember, there's also a large manufacturing center in the south of the island), and even that could be restored relatively quickly once order was restored...
8)
Roger: You fail to take their aegis cruisers into account. China's missiles are slow, and have no evasive capability. China = wasted a lot of ordinance, Taiwan = pointing and laughing.
you're placing the defense of Taiwan in the hands of an AMERICAN anti-missile system? :lol:
and remember, China HAS a shitload of ordinance to waste...unfortunately, it'll probably never happen, 'cause it'd make for DAMN good dinner theater...
8)
BS,
Is a war nerd at heart
Quote from: Bathory's SainthoodQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: Bathory's Sainthoodthis is true, but the reality is that China could probably accomplish the total subjugation of hte taiwanese populace without destroying more than 5 or 10 percent of the industrial output capabilities of the entire island (remember, there's also a large manufacturing center in the south of the island), and even that could be restored relatively quickly once order was restored...
8)
Roger: You fail to take their aegis cruisers into account. China's missiles are slow, and have no evasive capability. China = wasted a lot of ordinance, Taiwan = pointing and laughing.
you're placing the defense of Taiwan in the hands of an AMERICAN anti-missile system? :lol:
and remember, China HAS a shitload of ordinance to waste...unfortunately, it'll probably never happen, 'cause it'd make for DAMN good dinner theater...
8)
BS,
Is a war nerd at heart
Roger: Yes. One thing Americans do VERY well is make weapons.
true, with one notable exception: one thing americans don't do very well is shoot missiles out of the sky with smaller missiles.
8)
Quote from: Bathory's Sainthoodtrue, with one notable exception: one thing americans don't do very well is shoot missiles out of the sky with smaller missiles.
8)
Roger: You make Gary Brecher cry, when you make huge mistakes like that. Aegis cruiser != patriot missiles.
I'd be willing to bet that Gary Brecher would agree with me on this one...perhaps we oughtta fire off an email to him?
8)
To Chef: WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA?
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCTo Chef: WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA?
Roger: That will take a full blown rant to explain, I think. I'll translate it our of Chef, for the sake of everyone's eyes, and my caps lock.
Sometime this weekend.
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCTo Chef: WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA?
Because it's a faggy country.
I actually think this thread is worth reviving.
Chef, why do British people think we are being infiltrated by Islamic extremists who are here in large numbers when the Government that launched 2 wars against Islamic countries are still in charge?
WE ARE TO DECLARE THIS CLASSIC HELLO!
DO NEVER TEST THE UNTESTABLE BUDDHA WRATH!
OUR JUDGEMENT HAS FINAL!
Dearest Roger and Chef,
Please to be explaining where it all went wrong with Salaore? What could be better than a tropical island ran by a gorgeous dictator who lets you do pretty much anything you want?
Chef, how could the government have handled the loss of 25 million peoples information from one of their databases better?
Quote from: Enrico Salazar on February 23, 2006, 06:05:53 PM
Dearest Roger and Chef,
Please to be explaining where it all went wrong with Salaore? What could be better than a tropical island ran by a gorgeous dictator who lets you do pretty much anything you want?
Dear Papa,
It all went wrong when Diabo steal the Z out of Salazore. Crops not coming in, rent boys not going out. Goats in short supply, being hogged up by Uday. Tia Tequila cancel state visit.