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Messages - Junkenstein

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1
I'm pretty sure it actually comes originally from PUA circles (though given the PUA/manosphere/toxic gamer culture overlap that's not saying much). Some of the older guides definitely talk about having a "prop" to initiate conversations with people.

It's 2028. Twitter is the go to platform for incels worldwide. Full length hentai body pillow sales spike beyond capacity. Trumps cyogenically preserved head is both the new logo and server farm after janky Jonny Mnemnoic shennagins become possible. Every 6 months or so, a wicker man style ceremony has become needed to add brains to the jar for additional RAM. Somehow, this dilutes the original intelligence so it no can do little more than blink out the semaphore for "HATE-JEWS". This is considered a feature, not a bug.


Around 2042, the ceremonies are multi participant, highly eleborate and the brain mass is capabale of subsuming whole busses of fuckers at a time. Thanks to the great trench project it's largely confined to Asia due to legal issues. Child sex offences now happen on a city wide scale commited entirely by one entity having absorbed the most foul and deliquent minds of the last decades. The background hum within 15 miles is unsettling. A thousand different voice all muttering just slightly out of sync. "Peterson must be smart because no one else went to Russia to cripple themselves. You can't eat that much meat and be dumb. He has bionic shins now so whats the problem".


The eventual sociatal collapse is seen as a blessing by the remaining humans. The experiment conclusively failed.

2
If it's for anything Uncle BadTouch related, then shame. SHAME.


3
Yesterday at work:

New hire starts. This is normal. He's a bit off. This is also normal. This place is home to ruffians, derelicts, the damaged and derranged. Those who do not belong realise quite quickly. It takes others some time.

New Guy's opening gambit: I love politics, but no one ever wants to talk about it.
Me: Well. That's unusual. I too, love politics and have no one to talk about it with. So, starter for ten, where are you on the scale then? Because I'm somewhere left of Chairman Mao.
He:Oh, err, I'm more the other way. Lefties don't get things done.
Me:There are holes where mountains used to be thanks to Mao. There's also a fantastic lefty invention and concept that got loads done. Ever heard of Equality in execution? Guillotine?
He:What?
Me: How do you feel about the idea of a maximum wage instead of a minimum one?
He:Bad?
Me:Consider the job you are here to do and consider what you are being paid. There is no progression here. There is no chance of advancement, training, success or anything positive. Would it not be nice to be paid a litte better?
He: Yes, but that won't happen.
Me:NOT WITH THAT ATTITUDE COMRADE. RAISE THE RED FLAG.
He:What?
The angry Kurd: YOU WON'T GET ME I'M PART OF THE UNION
Me: PART OF THE UNION
He: Till the day I , wait what?
Me: He's joking, no one here is. It's more sort of a warring gangs culture.

4
I've been gone that long, I'm basically new again.

Who's left? And if someone could list the current grudges and factions it would speed things up tremendously.


5
Post for later reference.

Steal more Zork. Grand inquisitor had one of the most sincere villians ever written.
"Never forget, who is the boss of you? ME. I AM THE BOSS OF YOU".

There's plenty of good traps/puzzles in the first 2/3 hours or so that could be nicely repurposed. I'm not sure how easy it is to make your own scratchcard but that one especially would be a fucker.

6
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: Today at 12:22:28 am »
Not dead.

Still commiting unspeakable deeds.


There's apparently a new dead space thing thats based in a prision. A black iron prison. Royalties feel due.

7
Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« on: June 26, 2022, 09:21:26 pm »
If there is no siren or fireman pole involved you're really not squandering that budget hard enough.

8
Apple Talk / Re: OH NO
« on: April 20, 2022, 05:46:16 pm »
His reading of 50 shades of grey is up there with all time classics. And the aristocrats bit just after 9/11, magnificent.

9
Apple Talk / Re: Seriously, NOW where is the Youtube thread?
« on: April 06, 2022, 09:26:14 pm »
I've been just about keeping up. I'm very proud of you. It takes commitment to spread the HOLY WORD to new environments. The main benefit of being here is how many people I've been able to subject to it with utter impunity.

10
Apple Talk / Re: Seriously, NOW where is the Youtube thread?
« on: April 05, 2022, 03:04:10 pm »
I've easily seen over 400 fuckers start and leave. It is by far one of the most bizarre places I've ever worked at.

Quick highlights :

Fighting in work will not get you sacked. Or even disciplined.

To increase "employee retention" a points system was put in place for unexplained absence. 1 instance =4 points. At 150 points you get a "letter of concern". Retention technically improved, as it now takes about a month for management to admit they've probably gone for good.

The multiple people that thought the best place for a crafty joint is near the gas tanks.

The new flt driver who drove straight into the portacabin.

Casper the friendly crackhead. Who gets touched up by ghosts and has hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of drugs.

Management sent on regular courses to improve productivity. It's been at a steady 20% since I got here.

Paying 15k for a "workstation" thats made of about 30 quids worth of steel and half a day's welding.

There's so much more. I'm in a very odd Greek hell and can't escape.


11
Apple Talk / Re: Seriously, NOW where is the Youtube thread?
« on: April 05, 2022, 05:48:33 am »
Unsure. The work is simple, but requires at least 6 bodies to occur. Training is about a week. The average new start lasts around 7 hours. Often less. To say I've been dealing with social dregs would be a huge understatement.

I think the worst week so far has been given 4 sex offenders. Overt hinting that a background check would be done (lie, place cannot afford any kind of basic check) got rid of 3. The fourth had a shitty jeep thing that I promise you had fucking toy story dolls nailed and glued all over it.

"is this your car?"
"yeah, different innit?"
"what's your favourite Michael Jackson album?"
"what?"
"what do you think about rolf Harris's art?"
"I'm not a pedo!"
"I never said anything of the sort. How many kids do you have?"
"none"
"I see. This will probably end poorly if you stay. Only monsters work here, and most are family monsters. And less polite than me."
"I'm not a pedo!"
Gesture at car "this is not a good look for a 35 year old male with a foot long beard who stinks of weed."
"it makes me stand out"
"yes. Yes it does. I assume the police will be grateful."
"I'm not a pedo!"

Spoiler, he was. Arrested for drugs outside a school about a month after I got rid of it.

12
Apple Talk / Re: Seriously, NOW where is the Youtube thread?
« on: April 04, 2022, 05:44:26 am »
I'm still in this fucking cave.

Job has a 6% retention rate. Been here over 4 years. Was supposed to be 2 weeks.

Send help, last new recruits provided little nourishment.

13
Apple Talk / Re: Seriously, NOW where is the Youtube thread?
« on: April 02, 2022, 12:02:04 pm »
Pretty sure P3NTS been working with Danny elfman

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=y3xKyWemAr0


14
Aneristic Illusions / Re: So, how's that Brexit thing coming along?
« on: January 26, 2022, 12:37:24 am »
Sunak apparently at birthday party, at least one.

Rumor is one party was for dog.

Not dead, still in cave send help making electricity has been difficult

15
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Picking Cain's Brains
« on: September 02, 2021, 09:21:52 pm »
Would parts really be a problem? I would heavily assume the arms manufacturer creed of "if I don't sell it to them, someone else will" would apply. A bit of lobbying and trade deal/sanctions and sooner or later its all operational enough.

And that's without random idiot acts, just corporate logic.

Hells, the way reality currently works there was probably never a war to begin with.

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