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Dear BGP,

Should I get a Droid or stick with my old phone?

WE ARE OF BELIEF YOU SHOULD DISPOSE PHONE FOR YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS AND NO NEED OF COMMUNICATION.

DEAR BGP:  SHOULD I THE WHOLE COCA COLA BOTTLE, OR ONLY A LITTLE?

WE SHOULD POINT AT YOUR ACCOMMODATIONS: CAN THIS BE? DO NOT CRACK THE BOTTLE IF YOU ARE LACKING THE ACCOMMODATE. YOU WILL LEAK FROM THE INSIDE.

Dear Buddha's Ghost Penis,

Other spiritual figures tell me how I SHOULD NOT, which is useless. 
How SHOULD I?   

Mindfully,
   -R

YOU SHOULD ALWAYS. WE ARE SO VERY HELLO.

I think someone took the BGP account.

huh

assuming you know who it was before (and still is), i really wonder why you're thinking this or whether you're just posting without paying attention

He sounds different. I'm guessing.

PLEASE TO BE SENSITIVE TO MY TESTICLE THROAT. ARE WE CONVEYING UNDERSTAND?

BUMP?

WE ARE LACKING THE WOMB, OUR BUMP IS OF THE RICEY DOUGHNUT VARIETY. WE ARE OFFENDED  NOW.

ALL OF YOUR POOP WILL FALL OUT!

WEAR A HAT!

WHERE WILL YOU PLACE US?

YOU'RE PHONES ARE FULL OF STUPID.

I still love Aini.

AINI IS UNHELLO.

HUGH IS UNHELLOER.

YOU ARE ALL RUIN
FORUM WITH SILLY NONSENSE!
JOHN LENON DEAD

NEXT TOPIC: CHOKING OF THE HAZARDOUS VARIETY

HELLO? WE ARE POST COLONIAL NOW.

CHEF D,
POUNDING ON A MORMON WHO INTERRUPTED HIS SUPPER.

WE ARE POUND UPON A JAR OF MAYONNAISE WEDGED BETWEEN TWO COUCH CUSIONS. SUCH DELIGHT!

PLEASE TO ACCEPT OUR MYTHY MANLEGEND? OH MY, HOW VERY HELLO.

THIS IS MORALLY IMPROPER!

BEAR WITNESS TO OUR MIRTHY GIRTH AND ACCEPT OUR LEAVINGS INTO YOUR FACE-RECEPTACLE.
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ARE YOU BEARING YET? OUR GIRTH IS VERY GIRTHY AND WE ARE CONCERNED FOR YOUR HEALTH.