Rule 1: don't lock the thread
Rule 2: don't complain about the thread
Rule 3: this is apple talk
Congratulations, wait what?
:apple:
I'm just enjoying an apple whilst opening this thread, which just goes to prove the lasting popularity of the apple as a hand snack even in this, the Age of Snickers.
FOOLS, you've just set it up for me to win my own thread. Muahahahahahah
:alevil:
My dear Professor, if that IS your real name, I am afraid the turntables
I'm just here to watch LMNO let the beat drop.
(https://memegenerator.net/img/instances/85606937/me-staring-at-this-post-knowing-i-have-a-910-thread-killpost-ratio.jpg)
You're all F U C K E D
Victory. A hollow and ridiculous notion. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slBUGumPc4s) All victories are temporary, for who can escape the inevitable spectre of death?
But I am patient. Patient.
Fuck I was really banking on PD being dead and an easy win, but NOOOOO!
From heck's heart I meme at thee!!
winning only once is for chumps
You may have posted last Cramulus. But once again I am the last post since you last posted!
:nuke:
I rejoin the thread experiencing a packet of 'KFC Flavour' crisps, which authentically taste like salt. My kingdom for an apple.
:milk:
Straight from the cow
Oh WOW
Pasteur
Was holding out
On us all,
Clearly.
Udderly despicable
Udderly lickable
It's so neat
That extra
Lactic flora
Adds a tang
You can only get
Straight from the teat!
:thanks:
One day I'll post about The Mgt in here. Then you'll all be sorry. So will I, but it'll be for the greater good.
This post is an offer to enter into a legal contract. By posting in this thread, immediately following this message, you accept the offer and agree to abide by the terms of this contract. Any post shall be construed as acceptance; the contents of said post are not relevant.
For the purposes of this contract, the person making the next post in this thread (if any), and thereby accepting the offer, shall be known as the party of the first part.
I, chaotic neutral observer, in exchange for consideration as listed below, offer the following:
1. To deliver to the party of the first part, not less than five pounds of flax.
2. To, upon receipt of the consideration noted in item 4 below, refrain from making any posts in this thread which immediately follow posts made by the party of the first part. This does not apply to posts made by third parties (parties of the third part), and does not take effect until receipt of the consideration.
The party of the first part shall provide the following consideration:
4. The sum of $5 CAD, plus the cost of shipping and procuring the flax.
5. If the party of the first part is the last poster in this thread, and thereby becomes the winner, then they will irrevocably transfer to chaotic neutral observer any and all benefits derived therefrom, whether tangible, intangible, or entirely chimerical, including monies, bragging rights, and interdimensional book deals.
The amount owed is due within two business days of offer acceptance.
The party of the first part agrees to indemnify, defend, and hold harmless chaotic neutral observer for any direct, indirect, or incidental damages, impairments, or awkward conversations incurred during the execution of this contract.
In the event of cancellation or nonperformance of contract, due to any cause, including Acts of Goddess, the party of the first part shall be held solely responsible.
This contract shall be governed by and enforced under the jurisdiction of Pima County, Arizona.
Quote from: altered on July 22, 2021, 01:04:44 AM
One day I'll post about The Mgt in here. Then you'll all be sorry. So will I, but it'll be for the greater good.
The Mgt is a myth.
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on July 22, 2021, 03:55:03 AM
This post is an offer to enter into a legal contract. By posting in this thread, immediately following this message, you accept the offer and agree to abide by the terms of this contract. Any post shall be construed as acceptance; the contents of said post are not relevant.
For the purposes of this contract, the person making the next post in this thread (if any), and thereby accepting the offer, shall be known as the party of the first part.
I, chaotic neutral observer, in exchange for consideration as listed below, offer the following:
1. To deliver to the party of the first part, not less than five pounds of flax.
2. To, upon receipt of the consideration noted in item 4 below, refrain from making any posts in this thread which immediately follow posts made by the party of the first part. This does not apply to posts made by third parties (parties of the third part), and does not take effect until receipt of the consideration.
The party of the first part shall provide the following consideration:
4. The sum of $5 CAD, plus the cost of shipping and procuring the flax.
5. If the party of the first part is the last poster in this thread, and thereby becomes the winner, then they will irrevocably transfer to chaotic neutral observer any and all benefits derived therefrom, whether tangible, intangible, or entirely chimerical, including monies, bragging rights, and interdimensional book deals.
The amount owed is due within two business days of offer acceptance.
The party of the first part agrees to indemnify, defend, and hold harmless chaotic neutral observer for any direct, indirect, or incidental damages, impairments, or awkward conversations incurred during the execution of this contract.
In the event of cancellation or nonperformance of contract, due to any cause, including Acts of Goddess, the party of the first part shall be held solely responsible.
This contract shall be governed by and enforced under the jurisdiction of Pima County, Arizona.
Ok. You have two days to bring me the flax. I expect an invioce for costs in detail in order to fulfill my end. Per the contract I am under no obligation to give you further information about my location, but without notarized PROOF of delivery you will be in actionable breach of your own contract.
Good luck.
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on July 22, 2021, 05:25:52 PM
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on July 22, 2021, 03:55:03 AM
This post is an offer to enter into a legal contract. By posting in this thread, immediately following this message, you accept the offer and agree to abide by the terms of this contract. Any post shall be construed as acceptance; the contents of said post are not relevant.
For the purposes of this contract, the person making the next post in this thread (if any), and thereby accepting the offer, shall be known as the party of the first part.
Ok. You have two days to bring me the flax. I expect an invioce for costs in detail in order to fulfill my end. Per the contract I am under no obligation to give you further information about my location, but without notarized PROOF of delivery you will be in actionable breach of your own contract.
Good luck.
As highlighted above, only the immediately following post qualifies. Regrettably, you came in second by twenty minutes, and Doktor Howl is now the party of the first part.
I have consulted with a lawyer qualified in exotemporal contract law, and have been informed that since it is currently 1973 in Tucson, Doktor Howl has forty-eight years plus two business days to complete payment.
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on July 22, 2021, 06:50:03 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on July 22, 2021, 05:25:52 PM
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on July 22, 2021, 03:55:03 AM
This post is an offer to enter into a legal contract. By posting in this thread, immediately following this message, you accept the offer and agree to abide by the terms of this contract. Any post shall be construed as acceptance; the contents of said post are not relevant.
For the purposes of this contract, the person making the next post in this thread (if any), and thereby accepting the offer, shall be known as the party of the first part.
Ok. You have two days to bring me the flax. I expect an invioce for costs in detail in order to fulfill my end. Per the contract I am under no obligation to give you further information about my location, but without notarized PROOF of delivery you will be in actionable breach of your own contract.
Good luck.
As highlighted above, only the immediately following post qualifies. Regrettably, you came in second by twenty minutes, and Doktor Howl is now the party of the first part.
I have consulted with a lawyer qualified in exotemporal contract law, and have been informed that since it is currently 1973 in Tucson, Doktor Howl has forty-eight years plus two business days to complete payment.
:lulz: :lulz: Ahhhh... The olde space-timewarp Tucson maneuver eh? You STILL got 2 days from the current point in the time"line" to deliver to Howl.
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on July 22, 2021, 07:04:15 PM
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on July 22, 2021, 06:50:03 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on July 22, 2021, 05:25:52 PM
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on July 22, 2021, 03:55:03 AM
This post is an offer to enter into a legal contract. By posting in this thread, immediately following this message, you accept the offer and agree to abide by the terms of this contract. Any post shall be construed as acceptance; the contents of said post are not relevant.
For the purposes of this contract, the person making the next post in this thread (if any), and thereby accepting the offer, shall be known as the party of the first part.
Ok. You have two days to bring me the flax. I expect an invioce for costs in detail in order to fulfill my end. Per the contract I am under no obligation to give you further information about my location, but without notarized PROOF of delivery you will be in actionable breach of your own contract.
Good luck.
As highlighted above, only the immediately following post qualifies. Regrettably, you came in second by twenty minutes, and Doktor Howl is now the party of the first part.
I have consulted with a lawyer qualified in exotemporal contract law, and have been informed that since it is currently 1973 in Tucson, Doktor Howl has forty-eight years plus two business days to complete payment.
:lulz: :lulz: Ahhhh... The olde space-timewarp Tucson maneuver eh? You STILL got 2 days from the current point in the time"line" to deliver to Howl.
He has all of last week in which to comply.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 22, 2021, 07:41:31 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on July 22, 2021, 07:04:15 PM
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on July 22, 2021, 06:50:03 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on July 22, 2021, 05:25:52 PM
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on July 22, 2021, 03:55:03 AM
This post is an offer to enter into a legal contract. By posting in this thread, immediately following this message, you accept the offer and agree to abide by the terms of this contract. Any post shall be construed as acceptance; the contents of said post are not relevant.
For the purposes of this contract, the person making the next post in this thread (if any), and thereby accepting the offer, shall be known as the party of the first part.
Ok. You have two days to bring me the flax. I expect an invioce for costs in detail in order to fulfill my end. Per the contract I am under no obligation to give you further information about my location, but without notarized PROOF of delivery you will be in actionable breach of your own contract.
Good luck.
As highlighted above, only the immediately following post qualifies. Regrettably, you came in second by twenty minutes, and Doktor Howl is now the party of the first part.
I have consulted with a lawyer qualified in exotemporal contract law, and have been informed that since it is currently 1973 in Tucson, Doktor Howl has forty-eight years plus two business days to complete payment.
:lulz: :lulz: Ahhhh... The olde space-timewarp Tucson maneuver eh? You STILL got 2 days from the current point in the time"line" to deliver to Howl.
He has all of last week in which to comply.
It has always been more of a timetangle really.
is it last post "sequential" or "chronological"
that is to say, if i edit this post at a later date - does that make it a later post? even though other posts may follow this one in sequence?
to keep content fresh, I recommend we pick a theme and each post our answer. How about social security numbers to start!
I wonder who's SS# is 000-00-0001?
holy shit - the US population is 331,449,281 - we're almost 1/3 of the way through all the possible SS #'s
do they reuse numbers of people who have died?
Not been lurking for a few weeks, this is the new open bar, right?
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on July 23, 2021, 05:07:30 PM
to keep content fresh, I recommend we pick a theme and each post our answer. How about social security numbers to start!
Oh that sounds fun, I'll start:
170-00-000-0000-00000-000000-0000000-00000000...
Quote from: Junkenstein on July 23, 2021, 06:00:03 PM
Not been lurking for a few weeks, this is the new open bar, right?
Nope. This is the death rattle thread.
Oh, didn't know it was time for another one yet.
I'm due to emerge from the cave at some point in the next few weeks, for perhaps 4 days. I have seen you've all made great progress with that global warming shit while I've been underground.
Reminder: unnecessary personal posts interesting only to the poster are a mandatory part of death rattle threads. Expecting at least 2 recipes by page 5.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 23, 2021, 07:32:05 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on July 23, 2021, 06:00:03 PM
Not been lurking for a few weeks, this is the new open bar, right?
Nope. This is the death rattle thread.
madness...?
:apple:
I swear to fucking cod there is a 100% effective incantation to create a new page for Holy Nonsense and it is "I think this is the final layout!"
Quote from: Cramulus on July 23, 2021, 10:14:55 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 23, 2021, 07:32:05 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on July 23, 2021, 06:00:03 PM
Not been lurking for a few weeks, this is the new open bar, right?
Nope. This is the death rattle thread.
madness...?
:apple:
PD is like that running gag in comedy where you think the character is gonna die and just as the lights go out there's one more thing to say, but it's been going like that for YEARS now.
What if PD CAN'T DIE??
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on July 24, 2021, 02:59:16 AM
Quote from: Cramulus on July 23, 2021, 10:14:55 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 23, 2021, 07:32:05 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on July 23, 2021, 06:00:03 PM
Not been lurking for a few weeks, this is the new open bar, right?
Nope. This is the death rattle thread.
madness...?
:apple:
PD is like that running gag in comedy where you think the character is gonna die and just as the lights go out there's one more thing to say, but it's been going like that for YEARS now.
What if PD CAN'T DIE??
The funny thing is that it SEEMS dead, but then this thread that proves we all still check it at least once a day, and clearly want to chill online with each other.
How to communicate in the difficult to communicate age
I'm just waiting for the shit I'm struggling under to level off so I can bitch about not finding work and talk smack about the straight white guy thinking the disabled queers can't run a fucking co-op their lives depend on.
Quote from: altered on July 24, 2021, 09:41:32 PM
I'm just waiting for the shit I'm struggling under to level off so I can bitch about not finding work and talk smack about the straight white guy thinking the disabled queers can't run a fucking co-op their lives depend on.
there's really a lot to unpack there
Quote from: Cramulus on July 24, 2021, 02:27:26 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on July 24, 2021, 02:59:16 AM
Quote from: Cramulus on July 23, 2021, 10:14:55 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 23, 2021, 07:32:05 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on July 23, 2021, 06:00:03 PM
Not been lurking for a few weeks, this is the new open bar, right?
Nope. This is the death rattle thread.
madness...?
:apple:
PD is like that running gag in comedy where you think the character is gonna die and just as the lights go out there's one more thing to say, but it's been going like that for YEARS now.
What if PD CAN'T DIE??
The funny thing is that it SEEMS dead, but then this thread that proves we all still check it at least once a day, and clearly want to chill online with each other.
Yeah. It's like a fractal refrain in the song of my life since 2011. It's been a hard and strange decade, yet PD has ever been something I can come back to in good or bad circumstances. Strange for a thing to be a "place" to me. It's the closest thing I have had to a spiritual community since I was 19 and rejected churches pretty much entirely. I truly am unable to imagine how I would be had I not made the decision to dive in. I surely cannot speak for anyone else, but WE ARE STILL HERE, for whatever reasons.
:pax:
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on July 25, 2021, 02:57:24 AM
Quote from: Cramulus on July 24, 2021, 02:27:26 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on July 24, 2021, 02:59:16 AM
Quote from: Cramulus on July 23, 2021, 10:14:55 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 23, 2021, 07:32:05 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on July 23, 2021, 06:00:03 PM
Not been lurking for a few weeks, this is the new open bar, right?
Nope. This is the death rattle thread.
madness...?
:apple:
PD is like that running gag in comedy where you think the character is gonna die and just as the lights go out there's one more thing to say, but it's been going like that for YEARS now.
What if PD CAN'T DIE??
The funny thing is that it SEEMS dead, but then this thread that proves we all still check it at least once a day, and clearly want to chill online with each other.
Yeah. It's like a fractal refrain in the song of my life since 2011. It's been a hard and strange decade, yet PD has ever been something I can come back to in good or bad circumstances. Strange for a thing to be a "place" to me. It's the closest thing I have had to a spiritual community since I was 19 and rejected churches pretty much entirely. I truly am unable to imagine how I would be had I not made the decision to dive in. I surely cannot speak for anyone else, but WE ARE STILL HERE, for whatever reasons.
:pax:
That's beautiful, Wizzy J. What do you think has made participation here feel like a spiritual experience to you?
Quote from: Cramulus on July 25, 2021, 01:18:37 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on July 25, 2021, 02:57:24 AM
Quote from: Cramulus on July 24, 2021, 02:27:26 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on July 24, 2021, 02:59:16 AM
Quote from: Cramulus on July 23, 2021, 10:14:55 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 23, 2021, 07:32:05 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on July 23, 2021, 06:00:03 PM
Not been lurking for a few weeks, this is the new open bar, right?
Nope. This is the death rattle thread.
madness...?
:apple:
PD is like that running gag in comedy where you think the character is gonna die and just as the lights go out there's one more thing to say, but it's been going like that for YEARS now.
What if PD CAN'T DIE??
The funny thing is that it SEEMS dead, but then this thread that proves we all still check it at least once a day, and clearly want to chill online with each other.
Yeah. It's like a fractal refrain in the song of my life since 2011. It's been a hard and strange decade, yet PD has ever been something I can come back to in good or bad circumstances. Strange for a thing to be a "place" to me. It's the closest thing I have had to a spiritual community since I was 19 and rejected churches pretty much entirely. I truly am unable to imagine how I would be had I not made the decision to dive in. I surely cannot speak for anyone else, but WE ARE STILL HERE, for whatever reasons.
:pax:
That's beautiful, Wizzy J. What do you think has made participation here feel like a spiritual experience to you?
Hmmm... Well Cramulamadingdong, It was confusing, painful at times, euphoric at times. Sometimes PD seemed freakishly synchronous to events in my life, sometimes freakishly asynchronous. I have seen the whimsy and the dire thoughts of Genius and Shadow alike in the other posters. I saw myself grow and mutate. Subjectively I came to know Eris personally. She showed me how asshats are made. Objectively... Well I still got a pretty good grip on the asshat thing. I have achieved the subversion of my own "unlimited" thread and it feels like an accomplishment, yet it's of no great concern to anyone but me. I took up ORANGES once in honor of another's suffering, once in my foolass pride, recieving vision from each and suffering digestive malfunction beyond the pale of the uninitiated. I began to feel like my poetry mattered enough to keep a record of, in this way at last accepting my artistic nature. I beheld the steady metamorphosis of those that remain and the inglorious butthurt of many a failed troll. I told people things about myself I never tell anyone. I went mad with poison and revealed myselves in a manner that could not be controlled. I may have at long last learned to accept that I can be correct and still WRONG in my attitude towards correct information from others. I may not have learned anything whatsoever in this sense. I made blood ass friends and a couple dire enemies, both of which I would love to be on the doorstep of one day. I learned that if you want to fight a spiritual war you gotta fight dirtier than a mad boar in rut, but Keep Your Fucking Mouth Shut.
In short,
I fucked around.
I found out.
Hail Eris!!
All Hail
Discordia!!
IA! IA!
ALL HAIL DISCORDIA!!
(I WIN)
Quote from: Cramulus on July 25, 2021, 02:46:14 PM
IA! IA!
ALL HAIL DISCORDIA!!
(I WIN)
Nuh uh...
:winning:
:winner:
Still in this like...
:fursecution:
:internettoughguy:
you're both losers now
Quote from: Cramulus on July 25, 2021, 10:22:52 PM
you're both losers now
All that time navel gazing and you're still caught up in dualistic thinking Cram. Do you even Consciousness bro?..
Not a rhetorical question, technically.
A Found Poem, based on motorway signage I've encountered over the past three weeks on my commute to work.
Is your journey necessary?
Wear a Mask.
Conserve Water.
Do not use sprinklers.
:argh!: So it's come to daggers in the night eh Cramulus? Well your triad of assassins failed and gave up your plot to pay the Iron Price to win this thread under my tender ministrations with a rusty claw hammer. I AM STILL HERE CRAMULUS!! Goddess have mercy for I may or may not.
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on July 26, 2021, 02:14:05 PM
:argh!: So it's come to daggers in the night eh Cramulus? Well your triad of assassins failed and gave up your plot to pay the Iron Price to win this thread under my tender ministrations with a rusty claw hammer. I AM STILL HERE CRAMULUS!! Goddess have mercy for I may or may not.
ooh - "pay the iron price" - i really like the sound of that. do you mind if i steal it? does it come from somewhere I should know about??
I believe it was first uttered by Graham of Thrones.
I just took a shit the size of a birthday cake.
Which birthday though? Like are we talking about a 39th birthday cupcake, or one of those dealies the stripper pops out of on a year divisible by 10?
Quote from: Cramulus on July 26, 2021, 05:56:58 PM
Which birthday though? Like are we talking about a 39th birthday cupcake, or one of those dealies the stripper pops out of on a year divisible by 10?
We don't the second kind after Faust baked the cake with the stripper already in it.
It's OK, she's been auto-resurrected. I used self raising flour
Quote from: Faust on July 26, 2021, 10:33:45 PM
It's OK, she's been auto-resurrected. I used self raising flour
:spit:
:alevil:
:nopunsplease:
:pope:
Quote from: Faust on July 26, 2021, 10:33:45 PM
It's OK, she's been auto-resurrected. I used self raising flour
I'm so alone. :cry:
I'm not letting you win that easily.
(https://www.artiestick.com/toons/alphabet/ralph/arg-d-50-trans.gif)(https://www.artiestick.com/toons/alphabet/ralph/arg-i-50-trans.gif)(https://www.artiestick.com/toons/alphabet/ralph/arg-e-5O-trans-killing-our-serverload.gif)
This is the best possible time to be alive.
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on August 02, 2021, 11:06:37 PM
This is the best possible time to be alive.
it might be the only time to be alive
Victory bermp!!
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on August 03, 2021, 02:10:05 AM
Victory bermp!!
Congratulations! I always knew you had it in you.
ya know, it says "last one to post in thread wins"
it doesn't say "last one to post in this thread wins"
what if this is the wrong thread?
Quote from: rong on August 04, 2021, 03:41:44 AM
ya know, it says "last one to post in thread wins"
it doesn't say "last one to post in this thread wins"
what if this is the wrong thread?
:aaa:
(https://pro2-bar-s3-cdn-cf5.myportfolio.com/72fe1c51-2f8c-42b0-b6c9-06f9ceac3eb2/64a40aaf-90b6-4444-a53c-6d2ab9a03812_rw_1920.jpg?h=24f394d65d92c3b330919d91d6de65ef)
boop
OH YOU THINK YOU CAN WIN THAT EASILY?
:love:
LOL that emote is :love:
???
there are so many ancient or dated emotes in that box
:jihaad:
I got a new motorcycle. It's a Victory
(https://www.motoplanete.com/victory/zoom-700px/victory-1700-cross-country-8ball-2015-700px.jpg)
Pretty sure I win 8)
Quote from: rong on August 11, 2021, 10:27:44 PM
I got a new motorcycle. It's a Victory
(https://www.motoplanete.com/victory/zoom-700px/victory-1700-cross-country-8ball-2015-700px.jpg)
titcam, or something
Quote from: The Last One on August 12, 2021, 03:12:02 AM
Pretty sure I win 8)
It's a fair attempt, but
calling yourself "the last one" isn't enough to
make you the last one. It was never going to be that easy.
You need dedication.
Commitment. You need to spend every waking hour refreshing this thread, watching and waiting, dangling the prospect of victory before your opponents, only to snatch it away when they drop their guard, thereby gradually whittling away at their resolve.
And you need to hold onto hope when your own victories are inexorably crushed, again and again.
No, this thread isn't going to be won by word games and cheap tricks. It can be won only by
blood.
(https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0203/0046/products/4102_large.jpg?v=1531166626)
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on August 14, 2021, 04:52:35 AM
Quote from: The Last One on August 12, 2021, 03:12:02 AM
Pretty sure I win 8)
It's a fair attempt, but calling yourself "the last one" isn't enough to make you the last one. It was never going to be that easy.
You need dedication. Commitment. You need to spend every waking hour refreshing this thread, watching and waiting, dangling the prospect of victory before your opponents, only to snatch it away when they drop their guard, thereby gradually whittling away at their resolve.
And you need to hold onto hope when your own victories are inexorably crushed, again and again.
No, this thread isn't going to be won by word games and cheap tricks. It can be won only by blood.
Sounds like someone is salty they didn't think of it first
Quote from: Cain on August 15, 2021, 12:41:01 AM
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on August 14, 2021, 04:52:35 AM
Quote from: The Last One on August 12, 2021, 03:12:02 AM
Pretty sure I win 8)
It's a fair attempt, but calling yourself "the last one" isn't enough to make you the last one. It was never going to be that easy.
You need dedication. Commitment. You need to spend every waking hour refreshing this thread, watching and waiting, dangling the prospect of victory before your opponents, only to snatch it away when they drop their guard, thereby gradually whittling away at their resolve.
And you need to hold onto hope when your own victories are inexorably crushed, again and again.
No, this thread isn't going to be won by word games and cheap tricks. It can be won only by blood.
Sounds like someone is salty they didn't think of it first
MY BLOOD IS LIQUID NATRIUM, MY BREATH HALOGEN. But let's leave my origin story out of this.
Calling yourself "The Last One" fails for three reasons.
The first reason is grammatical. The thread title is "Last one to post in thread wins", not "The last one posting in this thread wins". Infer a couple commas, tweak the capitalization, and you might read that as "The Last One, posting in this thread, wins", in which case the selected username could have some merit. But we don't have any reason to say that "The Last One" as a forum user refers to the same entity as the "last one to post in thread"...especially when "The Last One" currently
isn't the last one to post. They do have a valid standing as the last one to register for this forum...for now, anyway.
A better choice of username would have been "Last one to post in thread". Such a user would appear to win, simply by virtue of existing, whether they posted or not...but that brings us to the second reason:
Intent.
In a court of law, if Douglas Defendant sues Alice Plaintiff, we understand that, for legal purposes, Defendant is the plaintiff, and Plaintiff is the defendant. In the court, the intent of the law would supersede the apparent letter of the law. Any rights reserved to the defendant would clearly apply to A. Plaintiff, not D. Defendant. The proximate intent of this thread is clearly that the last person posting here should win, not that it be concluded by semantic arguments.
The third reason is trivially obvious.
(https://www.lovethispic.com/uploaded_images/233758-I-Has-A-Corm.jpg)
i always thought this meme didn't get the recognition it deserves
This is obviously for Cram.
I will file this in the goat image archive!
BTW I'm at the hospital with the wife now... baby's on the way! we've been here for about 30 hours, but we're getting close to showtime.
i promise to not post in this thread anymore if cram posts new formed babby picture.
Quote from: Cramulus on August 18, 2021, 01:03:43 AM
I will file this in the goat image archive!
BTW I'm at the hospital with the wife now... baby's on the way! we've been here for about 30 hours, but we're getting close to showtime.
Congratulations, Cram!
You never get to sleep again!
BABBY!
i hope everything is ok with the babby
Cram posted some pics on FB, happy and healthy and I'm sure keeping both parents up all night.
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on August 31, 2021, 08:01:14 PM
Cram posted some pics on FB, happy and healthy and I'm sure keeping both parents up all night.
Oh that's good.
So...what do I win?
I hope it's pie.
The Commander
DIA
Quote from: The Commander on September 18, 2021, 03:42:04 PM
So...what do I win?
I hope it's pie.
The Commander
DIA
Its not pie
what do u like better cake or pie???????????????????????
THE ULTIMATE FORUM THREAD
ps I win
Quote from: Cramulus on September 21, 2021, 06:18:17 PM
what do u like better cake or pie???????????????????????
THE ULTIMATE FORUM THREAD
ps I win
Not so fast, Cramulus...IF that's your REAL name!
Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 20, 2021, 09:36:56 PM
Quote from: The Commander on September 19, 2021, 07:15:27 AM
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on September 19, 2021, 01:51:13 AM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on September 18, 2021, 10:18:56 PM
Quote from: The Commander on September 18, 2021, 03:42:04 PM
So...what do I win?
I hope it's pie.
The Commander
DIA
Its not pie
Why not?
Yeah, what do the prize givers have against pie?
The Commander
DIA
The same thing we have against tequila and stabbity stabbity whatever.
It reeks of Hugh.
Who is Hugh, and why is he hoarding all the pie?
The Commander
DIA
Wait a minute, this thread is a thinly veiled attempt to start off a dialog in the post communication age.
This conversation is OVER
Quote from: Faust on September 21, 2021, 10:13:54 PM
Wait a minute, this thread is a thinly veiled attempt to start off a dialog in the post communication age.
This conversation is OVER
Over easy or over hard?
The Commander
DIA
Quote from: The Commander on September 21, 2021, 10:06:36 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 20, 2021, 09:36:56 PM
Quote from: The Commander on September 19, 2021, 07:15:27 AM
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on September 19, 2021, 01:51:13 AM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on September 18, 2021, 10:18:56 PM
Quote from: The Commander on September 18, 2021, 03:42:04 PM
So...what do I win?
I hope it's pie.
The Commander
DIA
Its not pie
Why not?
Yeah, what do the prize givers have against pie?
The Commander
DIA
The same thing we have against tequila and stabbity stabbity whatever.
It reeks of Hugh.
Who is Hugh, and why is he hoarding all the pie?
The Commander
DIA
You don't remember Hugh? One of the first admins here? The one that was browsing people's PMs and then forwarding them to anyone that might get angry at the contents?
I think the reading PMs thing came out a bit after The Commander's time.
Quote from: Cain on September 21, 2021, 10:54:23 PM
I think the reading PMs thing came out a bit after The Commander's time.
Possibly. That was 2004/2005, IIRC.
Somebody tole me once that you can't win if you don't enter.
Then some thing about diabeetus I think, I dunno.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 21, 2021, 11:30:52 PM
Quote from: Cain on September 21, 2021, 10:54:23 PM
I think the reading PMs thing came out a bit after The Commander's time.
Possibly. That was 2004/2005, IIRC.
Yeah, the Commander was around briefly when I very first arrived, but disappeared not long after, and the Hugh stuff was a little further down the line, but not by much.
I mostly remember because late 2004/early 2005 was my first year at Uni, so a lot of things from that time and when I wasn't blackout drink are imprinted on my brain.
I can't believe the commander is a real guy and not some kinda wacky online character
Quote from: Cramulus on September 24, 2021, 03:53:21 PM
I can't believe the commander is a real guy and not some kinda wacky online character
Who says I'm not both?
Now that you mention it, Hugh rings a bell, but I don't remember any scandal, so it must have been during one of my long breaks.
The Commander
DIA
Quote from: The Commander on September 25, 2021, 12:27:40 AM
Quote from: Cramulus on September 24, 2021, 03:53:21 PM
I can't believe the commander is a real guy and not some kinda wacky online character
Who says I'm not both?
Now that you mention it, Hugh rings a bell, but I don't remember any scandal, so it must have been during one of my long breaks.
The Commander
DIA
He more or less hulked out into the worst moderator anywhere, ever.
I looked at my profile and I posted pretty actively from 2003 to 2007, so I must have been around for the Hugh scandal, but I can't remember it at all. Too many lobotomies I suppose.
I'm tempted to read through my old posts more thoroughly and try to figure out why I drifted away. Apparently I was active up to 2007, then took a break until 2011, then took another break until now.
The Commander
DIA
Quote from: Cramulus on September 24, 2021, 03:53:21 PM
I can't believe the commander is a real guy and not some kinda wacky online character
I have a theory that there is only one real person in the world, and everyone else is a simulation.
I'm not the real one, obviously; I have no existence beyond the lines you're reading on the screen in front of you.
Wait, you aren't real and this is a solipsistic hellhole? But that would mean...
Oh goddamn it. I'm the demiurge of the universe AGAIN??? This shit is getting OLD. Let me out of my own head, you pieces of shit!
Quote from: altered on September 25, 2021, 05:45:00 PM
Wait, you aren't real and this is a solipsistic hellhole? But that would mean...
Oh goddamn it. I'm the demiurge of the universe AGAIN??? This shit is getting OLD. Let me out of my own head, you pieces of shit!
So this is all
your fault? OK that kinda checks out. Hey maybe turn up the heat on Tuscon, for a laugh. And please reimagine me as a cyborg.
Awwww...can I be a cyborg too? If so, can I have an internal oven...that way I can keep my pies warm when I'm on the go.
The Commander
DIA
Quote from: Cramulus on September 25, 2021, 06:34:02 PM
Hey maybe turn up the heat on Tuscon, for a laugh.
That is a self-managing feature.
Is it Tuscon that is filled with hippies? My only experience in Arizona is some training I did at Fort Huachuca down south.
The Commander
DIA
Quote from: The Commander on September 26, 2021, 03:18:29 PM
Is it Tuscon that is filled with hippies? My only experience in Arizona is some training I did at Fort Huachuca down south.
The Commander
DIA
There's less hippies than anywhere in the pacific northwest, but more than Phoenix for sure.
Is Tuscon close to Sidona? Aren't there supposed to be ley lines out there or something weirdly spiritual?
The Commander
DIA
Quote from: The Commander on September 28, 2021, 08:01:48 AM
Is Tuscon close to Sidona? Aren't there supposed to be ley lines out there or something weirdly spiritual?
The Commander
DIA
No. Tucson is the Fracture. It's the area between universe where all the impossible trash winds up.
Where there's brass there's muck, and where there's weird shit you don't even want to look at, there's Tucson.
Well, now I kind of want to go there.
The Commander
DIA
Me, too.
Sometimes, I find myself wondering if Roger has spent any time in Detroit
Quote from: rong on September 29, 2021, 10:14:26 PM
Me, too.
Sometimes, I find myself wondering if Roger has spent any time in Detroit
I have. It's not particularly weird, just old and busted.
Quote from: The Commander on September 29, 2021, 09:43:51 PM
Well, now I kind of want to go there.
The Commander
DIA
Everyone should come here.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 29, 2021, 10:42:54 PM
Quote from: rong on September 29, 2021, 10:14:26 PM
Me, too.
Sometimes, I find myself wondering if Roger has spent any time in Detroit
I have. It's not particularly weird, just old and busted.
I dunno, man, the party I went to in a house being squatted by crust punks was pretty weird. They had a bdsm room and some dude was getting flogged pretty mercilessly. Took me awhile to figure out if the toothpick the goth gave me had been dipped in LSD. I was disappointed but it was probably for the better. I ended up going dumpster diving with one of the crust punks. They know who throws out the fanciest cheeses.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 29, 2021, 10:42:54 PM
Quote from: rong on September 29, 2021, 10:14:26 PM
Me, too.
Sometimes, I find myself wondering if Roger has spent any time in Detroit
I have. It's not particularly weird, just old and busted.
Wait...your name is Roger? You're not The Good Reverend Roger are you?
The Commander
DIA
GODDAMMIT six years in the witness protection program and we have to move him again
Quote from: The Commander on October 03, 2021, 07:35:02 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 29, 2021, 10:42:54 PM
Quote from: rong on September 29, 2021, 10:14:26 PM
Me, too.
Sometimes, I find myself wondering if Roger has spent any time in Detroit
I have. It's not particularly weird, just old and busted.
Wait...your name is Roger? You're not The Good Reverend Roger are you?
The Commander
DIA
Well, I was. When I was a different kind of person.
But nobody liked him, so we stomped him and threw him down a manhole.
Quote from: Faust on October 03, 2021, 03:29:57 PM
GODDAMMIT six years in the witness protection program and we have to move him again
*sigh*
I'll go get the shovel.
Oh...well I liked him....although I seem to recall really pissing you off last time I was active on the board.
The Commander
DIA
Quote from: The Commander on October 04, 2021, 05:26:26 PM
Oh...well I liked him....although I seem to recall really pissing you off last time I was active on the board.
The Commander
DIA
If you did, I don't recall.
There was this, but this isn't pissed off.
https://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php/topic,29353.msg1055716.html#msg1055716
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 04, 2021, 06:50:52 PM
There was this, but this isn't pissed off.
https://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php/topic,29353.msg1055716.html#msg1055716
Yeah, that's what I was thinking of. Funny how the greatest communication device in the history of mankind can be so difficult to communicate on. I totally thought you were pissed off. Glad to know you weren't.
It was a fair point. I still like my fair share of pie and silliness, but getting close to 50 mellows you out a bit. Maybe.
A bit.
The Commander
DIA
I picked a really shitty time to return. So damn busy... Should have some time this weekend, maybe I'll fill y'all in with the weird twist my life has taken. Maybe I'll leave it to your imagination. Either way, Hi! And I WIN!
Quote from: Dimocritus on November 02, 2021, 04:50:30 PM
I picked a really shitty time to return. So damn busy... Should have some time this weekend, maybe I'll fill y'all in with the weird twist my life has taken. Maybe I'll leave it to your imagination. Either way, Hi! And I WIN!
Nope.
oh you think you can just tokyo drift into the winner's circle? NOT ON MY WATCH, ASS CLOCK
(https://i.imgur.com/3zeUA2N.png)
ass clock?
Aww. Are you all still playing this cute little forum game, pretending that any of you have a snowflake's chance of winning?
That's adorable.
Born to lose
Everybody shut up.
Starting now.
I have extra mojo saved up, so do not test me.
Such clever
That was you?
:fap:
To me, the word FAP always sounded like a disease.
Sorry boss, can't come to work today, I've come down with a bad case of the Fap.
The Commander
DIA
YOU'LL SPEND THA REST OF THY LIFE IN A PISS VAT FOR THAT POST
\
(https://www.therpf.com/forums/attachments/staff-7-png.1298898/)
*step*
Quote from: The Commander on November 20, 2021, 07:20:18 AM
To me, the word FAP always sounded like a disease.
Sorry boss, can't come to work today, I've come down with a bad case of the Fap.
The Commander
DIA
when I first read (i've never ever heard it) people use the word fap, I thought it was because porn uses a lot of bandwidth and FAP stands for "Fair Access Protocol" which is how the server decides who's data to throttle.
Quote from: rong on November 21, 2021, 02:21:31 AM
Quote from: The Commander on November 20, 2021, 07:20:18 AM
To me, the word FAP always sounded like a disease.
Sorry boss, can't come to work today, I've come down with a bad case of the Fap.
The Commander
DIA
when I first read (i've never ever heard it) people use the word fap, I thought it was because porn uses a lot of bandwidth and FAP stands for "Fair Access Protocol" which is how the server decides who's data to throttle.
I love that that is where your head went. You might have what it takes to be a DIA agent.
The Commander
DIA
Quote from: The Commander on November 21, 2021, 09:04:56 AM
Quote from: rong on November 21, 2021, 02:21:31 AM
Quote from: The Commander on November 20, 2021, 07:20:18 AM
To me, the word FAP always sounded like a disease.
Sorry boss, can't come to work today, I've come down with a bad case of the Fap.
The Commander
DIA
when I first read (i've never ever heard it) people use the word fap, I thought it was because porn uses a lot of bandwidth and FAP stands for "Fair Access Protocol" which is how the server decides who's data to throttle.
I love that that is where your head went. You might have what it takes to be a DIA agent.
The Commander
DIA
Detroit Institute of Arts?
Did It Again
Discordia Is Apoplectic
Do I Argue
Dieties Inherently Aggrandize
Daily Incoherent Aplomb
Dang It, Anyway
Damned Irritating Alliterates
it is with deepest ragret that i inform you that all posts following this one do not count and are invalid.
that is to say, this is the last post in this thread.
even if it snot
you can't triple stamp a double stamp!
Quote from: Cramulus on November 30, 2021, 10:23:14 PM
you can't triple stamp a double stamp!
(https://st3.depositphotos.com/7819052/17625/v/950/depositphotos_176259060-stock-illustration-grunge-red-invalid-word-round.jpg)
Happy New Year, spags, for what it's worth.
I hereby declare this to be the year of the turbo-dumbass. That is to say, my year.
Is it possible we can skip 2022 and just jump right into 2023? I feel like 2022 is going to suck, and frankly, I'm too tired to bother.
The Commander
DIA
i just set all my clocks ahead by 365 days.
you can't triple stamp a double stamp!
Quote from: rong on November 30, 2021, 10:47:21 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on November 30, 2021, 10:23:14 PM
you can't triple stamp a double stamp!
(https://st3.depositphotos.com/7819052/17625/v/950/depositphotos_176259060-stock-illustration-grunge-red-invalid-word-round.jpg)
Standing on a corpse here
hey, have you guys heard my balloon joke?
yes, unfortunately
Wait- do you mean to imply that you didn't enjoy it? It was a magic balloon!
Wait...I forgot what I was doing. Who am I? Where are my pants?
The Commander
DIA
Quote from: The Commander on March 26, 2022, 06:39:42 AM
Wait...I forgot what I was doing. Who am I? Where are my pants?
The Commander
DIA
congratulations! you were the last poster in this thread!