Oh god, I think I am crying from laughing too much.
So, over in the UK we have this thing called the English Defence League. It's sort of a Teabaggers meets football hooligans, with less libertarianism and more outright fascism. The EDL claim to be defending England from Muslim extremists....although, when you ask their members, it often seems every Muslims is an extremist, and everyone from the Middle East or South Asia is a Muslim.
Anyway, their hilariously illiterate online rants have led to some wag invented a EDL Literary Division tumblr (http://edl-lit-div.tumblr.com/), where their...unusual prose is broken down and turned into beautiful poetry. Here is what I consider to the magnum opus of this project:
QuoteANTIC DOTES
illumiati conspiracy theorist gimps of anonymice
any one can threat over a key board sausages
detack you propergander
go back to cockoo land..how dare you be so insilant!!!
EDL is not a righted winged party
we are deemedrs of Englishness
get ya facts right ya soap digging bastard
I hope u get ur come up ons
sheffield newcastle glasgow ext ext ext
essex or surrounding hairier
mouth a protest, shitstare
standing up against Muslim peas rings
Muslim synthesizers, bonified paedos
terarisam, terriny, richeous holycost
The predators are waiting and praying on the vulnerable
Its not rocket salad people
people that read books are fictionist.
all are ill with 10 kids voting sleeps , wake up
IDIOLOGICAL NUM NUTS
i know water and soap is like criptamite to you lot
week trators manovered revolunishnents
YOU'R ARE THE LOOSER ON THE GAME
as a scientist i can tell you your clames are false
EMBRACE BRITISH CULTAR!!
Beautiful ideology, more like an evil colt
they have their own adjendure
they wat stone into b law
they cry racisum, fucking rediculouse!
this is serioas man its not rapin compittion
a bit sinicter, unbaleivable
ACTIONS SPEAK LOADER WORDS
Time for a new Adrians wall!!!
muslimification of britain
Lets wave our rights so as to not offend.
justice aint strongerenough
GIVE THEM SUPERIORITY TREATMENT
deprevation of character, anger breads fast
rasisam , riligiousisam and taotaliterian
it's all got to be about board and lawful
How much is memebership? where can I join
Quotewe are deemedrs
My brain shut off at that point, sheerly out of self-defense.
GET YA FACTS RIGHT YA SOAP DIGGING BASTARD
That's a shame, as you are missing out on
Quotecriptamite
and
QuoteAdrians wall!!!
and
QuoteMuslim synthesizers, bonified paedos
terarisam, terriny, richeous holycost
which may be my favourite two lines of all of poetry, of all time.
James Joyce, thou art avenged!
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: This is AMAZING.
I don't get the "Adrian's wall!!!" line.
It's hard to pick out favorites, but
QuoteBeautiful ideology, more like an evil colt
they have their own adjendure
they wat stone into b law
they cry racisum, fucking rediculouse!
:lol:
Quote from: Man Green on October 18, 2012, 04:23:44 PM
I don't get the "Adrian's wall!!!" line.
I'm fairly sure they mean "Hadrian's Wall", though I'm not sure how keeping the Picts out of England will solve the problem of Islamic extremism.
Is the author of that blog spelling "meme" "meem", or is a "meem" something different?
I'm fairly sure it's an ironic misspelling
Oh my wordly worthington. This is even better than Muslamic Ray Guns.
Quote from: Cain on October 18, 2012, 04:51:23 PM
I'm fairly sure it's an ironic misspelling
Gotcha. It's extra ironic (in a way) because it's also the name of a Lebanese GLBQ group. :lol:
Hahahhah! I'm putting this up at work, there are a few bigots there, this may become interesting.
Personally I can't go past It's not rocket salad people.
I want to make performance poetry from this.
Oh, my fucking...
I don't know how many times it would take to actually absorb all of that into my brain... and I'm afraid of the resulting damage...
Quote from: Placid Dingo on October 18, 2012, 11:17:11 PM
Personally I can't go past It's not rocket salad people.
I want to make performance poetry from this.
I'm going to start saying that.
"It's not rocket salad people".
QuoteMuslim synthesizers
Lost it right there.
Had some half formed joke about ADSR as applied to Islam and couldn't make it funny. Certainly not funnier than that.
Quote from: Disco Pickle on October 19, 2012, 02:24:51 AM
QuoteMuslim synthesizers
Lost it right there.
Had some half formed joke about ADSR as applied to Islam and couldn't make it funny. Certainly not funnier than that.
Look i cant make it any clearer. If you snythesize with terarisam, terriny and richeous holycost then you are a Muslim synthesizer. It's not Rocket salad people.
QuoteANTIC DOTES
illumiati conspiracy theorist gimps of anonymice
any one can threat over a key board sausages
detack you propergander
go back to cockoo land..how dare you be so insilant!!!
EDL is not a righted winged party
we are deemedrs of Englishness
get ya facts right ya soap digging bastard
I hope u get ur come up ons
sheffield newcastle glasgow ext ext ext
essex or surrounding hairier
mouth a protest, shitstare
standing up against Muslim peas rings
Muslim synthesizers, bonified paedos
terarisam, terriny, richeous holycost
The predators are waiting and praying on the vulnerable
Its not rocket salad people
people that read books are fictionist.
all are ill with 10 kids voting sleeps , wake up
IDIOLOGICAL NUM NUTS
i know water and soap is like criptamite to you lot
week trators manovered revolunishnents
YOU'R ARE THE LOOSER ON THE GAME
as a scientist i can tell you your clames are false
EMBRACE BRITISH CULTAR!!
Beautiful ideology, more like an evil colt
they have their own adjendure
they wat stone into b law
they cry racisum, fucking rediculouse!
this is serioas man its not rapin compittion
a bit sinicter, unbaleivable
ACTIONS SPEAK LOADER WORDS
Time for a new Adrians wall!!!
muslimification of britain
Lets wave our rights so as to not offend.
justice aint strongerenough
GIVE THEM SUPERIORITY TREATMENT
deprevation of character, anger breads fast
rasisam , riligiousisam and taotaliterian
it's all got to be about board and lawful
How much is memebership? where can I join
I was going to quote my favourite line but the best I could do was reduce it to the above shortlist
Good news;
ANIC DOTES is actually the sequal;
I give you; Mellow Dramatic
QuoteMellow dramatic
are we to laxy daisy our our system ?
beer gambling prostitutes
smegaling there way over the border
they want to live and breed like wild flower
It would have turnt into a blood bath
if we had the right to bare arms
ull hav 2 abibe by them posters up anal
We need eye's in or arses beers
blashmoney is a sin my friend
not elegal but emoral, and insalting
jejus was born in a stable but
he wossant A horse
i tend to Wright in the queens language
Where coming where coming
where coming down those roads
i mite be called rascal witch im not im EDL
Why should we respect there cultcher ?
Why carnt they respect arse ?
Trying to science us will not work,
it only makes us stronger !!
respect are country,
speak are language
onik onik
we am the EDL
I'm goin' on a march,
'cause I want Britain to be back British
we will be wearing berays
The time has finally come to really have a voices herd
Stop the jrinkin
i think we shud foam.
YOU DON`T WANT US IN YOUR STREETS
CAUSE YOUS WANT MULTI-CULTURAL IN OUR STREETS
anuff is anuff, Lefty counts
FEEDOM OF SPEACH!!! OK?
I WILL DEFEND ENGLAND
EITHER WITH BRIANS OR BRAWN
Do you want to be the same as everyone else,
or do you NEED that SPIECAL treatment?
these are MY/OUR STREETS!!!
TOGETHER WE STAND UNTIED.
It's not rock science
It a horse
Escape goats
PROPER GANDER!
the daeth of are culchur ??????????
THE EDL SHALL RULE, THE DUMB CUNTS
Cum on Tommy! NFSE!
WE CAN AND DID COME ON MASS.....
EDL are being unfaily discredited aganist by and all sundry
WE ARE PROTESTAND AND CATHILOC IN OUR ROOTS
get Britten back to British people !!
together we stand united we fall
Lousy immigration laws.
Now most of the people in this country are a minority
Multicultrial Indigneous culture
YOU`S ARE TRAITOR`S TOO YOUR OWN KIND
WERE YA FAMOUS EDL,EEEDL NFSE !
Who's street OUR STREET !!
ENOUGH id ENOUGH!
NO SURIENDER!
ALLOWED AND PROUD VOICE!
Could be first sign of dementure
FLAGS ON LONG POLES WITH FLAGS ON THE END!
Has my finger bin removed?
Indeed, "why can't they respect arse" is something of a mystery. Arses are great. Rupert Murdoch aside, of course.
Quote from: Cain on October 18, 2012, 03:40:17 PM
That's a shame, as you are missing out on
Quotecriptamite
and
QuoteAdrians wall!!!
and
QuoteMuslim synthesizers, bonified paedos
terarisam, terriny, richeous holycost
which may be my favourite two lines of all of poetry, of all time.
Are these guys connected to the 'Anglo Saxons against Norman tyranny' brigade? If not, they should be with their hilarious 'ye olde' spelling.
THOSE GODDAMN NORMANS ARE HELPING THE MUSLIMS DESTROY ENGLAND!! :argh!:
Smegal v. To behave in a manner reminiscent of the character Smegal (aka Gollum) from the fictional writings of J R R Tolkien.
looks like something's been "smegaling" its way into their arse
They actually spell that way? Its not from trolls and such?
You have to understand: the EDLs membership is largely made up of football hooligans, racists, career criminals and the kind of people for whom Anders Behring Breivik was a pussy who didn't go far enough (yet curiously many were friends with him on Facebook).
As such, spelling, among other academic, intellectual pursuits, is not their strong point.
Also see: http://exposingon.tumblr.com/ for less humourous examples of EDL illiteracy.
Quote from: Cain on October 19, 2012, 06:19:25 PM
You have to understand: the EDLs membership is largely made up of football hooligans, racists, career criminals and the kind of people for whom Anders Behring Breivik was a pussy who didn't go far enough (yet curiously many were friends with him on Facebook).
As such, spelling, among other academic, intellectual pursuits, is not their strong point.
Also see: http://exposingon.tumblr.com/ for less humourous examples of EDL illiteracy.
Trying to science us will not work!
Except rock science, maybe.
Though goodness knows why the EDL would insist people mistake horses for geology. I'm sure it's not a very common category error.
I think the trouble is that the literacy is so glaringly bad that im having trouble believing that anyones writing could get that bad football hooligan or not. Even combined with the possibilities of dyslexia drinking and the human hands clumsiness at typing thrown on top.
Twid, they talk like that, too. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIPD8qHhtVU
I wont be able to see until i get home but somehow i get the sense that im in for a healthy dose of horrormirth
Quotenot elegal but emoral, and insalting
started me laughing and then I couldn't stop.
They've got Muslamic ray guns. :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
"rasisam , riligiousisam and taotaliterian"
ET TU, LAO TZU?
Quote from: The Waffler on October 19, 2012, 08:35:42 PM
Twid, they talk like that, too. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIPD8qHhtVU
I honestly stopped it and watched the original. It was incomprehensible to me with auto-tune. Some UK accents give me some trouble. This, apparently was one of them. Cockney, it sounded, but I just don't know.
But yeah, Muslamic Ray Gums.
I now believe that this is how they talk.
I also suddenly want to grow my remaining hair out.
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on October 20, 2012, 03:46:19 AM
Quote from: The Waffler on October 19, 2012, 08:35:42 PM
Twid, they talk like that, too. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIPD8qHhtVU
I honestly stopped it and watched the original. It was incomprehensible to me with auto-tune. Some UK accents give me some trouble. This, apparently was one of them. Cockney, it sounded, but I just don't know.
But yeah, Muslamic Ray Gums.
I now believe that this is how they talk.
I also suddenly want to grow my remaining hair out.
The original quote was muslamic rape gangs.
But Ray Guns is much funnier.
QuoteNow most of the people in this country are a minority
Damn near every line is comedy gold but this one would have been genius if a comedian had come up with it :lulz:
Next time I'm talking to a racist this is getting used.
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on October 20, 2012, 03:46:19 AM
Quote from: The Waffler on October 19, 2012, 08:35:42 PM
Twid, they talk like that, too. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIPD8qHhtVU
I honestly stopped it and watched the original. It was incomprehensible to me with auto-tune. Some UK accents give me some trouble. This, apparently was one of them. Cockney, it sounded, but I just don't know.
But yeah, Muslamic Ray Gums.
I now believe that this is how they talk.
I also suddenly want to grow my remaining hair out.
It's incomprehensible without autotune.
Also, the accent in question is "had too many beers".
I love watching battles where you don't give a fuck which side sustains casualties - it's just popcorn all the way (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIr3HV-TuOs) :lulz:
Interesting to see in that video that the EDL speaker was Northern Irish and talking about the Battle of the Boyne. That's a big Orange Order thing in particular...and the Northern Irish protestants have always had something of a fascist streak, probably in response to the more leftwing orientation of the IRA and their secessionist aims.
The really amusing thing is that if the EDL start getting too mouthy in Northern Ireland, the IRA and their various dissident splinter groups might take an "interest" in them. The kind of interest that involves 3am visits armed with Black and Decker drills. I believe similar threats in the past kept the Combat 18 influence in the province checked.
Not that I condone violence of course, I'm just saying "sleep with dogs, get hosed down by stroppy Irishmen with paramilitary training."
Quote from: Cain on October 20, 2012, 12:59:06 PM
Interesting to see in that video that the EDL speaker was Northern Irish and talking about the Battle of the Boyne. That's a big Orange Order thing in particular...and the Northern Irish protestants have always had something of a fascist streak, probably in response to the more leftwing orientation of the IRA and their secessionist aims.
The really amusing thing is that if the EDL start getting too mouthy in Northern Ireland, the IRA and their various dissident splinter groups might take an "interest" in them. The kind of interest that involves 3am visits armed with Black and Decker drills. I believe similar threats in the past kept the Combat 18 influence in the province checked.
Not that I condone violence of course, I'm just saying "sleep with dogs, get hosed down by stroppy Irishmen with paramilitary training."
THIS! The paddy orange contingent live for this shit. The very fact that that guy's in attendance puts paid to any claim of nonviolent intent. The EDL are there for a fight with the filth and/or any brown people they can spot. Sharing the blame, 50/50 are the scum, whose - jackboots and billyclubs - response to any demonstration (however peaceful) that rubs the gubmint up the wrong way is a red rag to anyone who just loves a good old fashioned riot.