Really! tell your story of how you came to grace these hallowed halls! Be it by glory, happenstance or just dumb luck..
explain yourselves!
:lulz:
:boring:
Umm. We already have an intro thread.
We are the harbinger of your perfection, zarathustrasbastardson
That which you know as PD.com is your salvation through destruction.
You fight against inevitability, thus struggling against cosmic winds. Your greatest civilizations are doomed to fall, and your civilization will beg to serve us. Know this as you struggle in vain - your time will come, and your people will fail. Take what is useful, destroy the rest. Progress cannot be halted.
Prepare yourself.
Quote from: Cain on November 15, 2012, 04:14:53 AM
We are the harbinger of your perfection, zarathustrasbastardson
That which you know as PD.com is your salvation through destruction.
You fight against inevitability, thus struggling against cosmic winds. Your greatest civilizations are doomed to fall, and your civilization will beg to serve us. Know this as you struggle in vain - your time will come, and your people will fail. Take what is useful, destroy the rest. Progress cannot be halted.
Prepare yourself.
:lulz: Who are we?
We're the seep in the crack, the chill in the draft, zarathustrabastardson. We're the slime in the mold, the hen in the kettle, the old man's beard swinging from the tree.
We're the crack of the twig and the shadow just outside your peripheral vision, the deep inhalation right outside your door. We're the bear in your picnic basket, the chauffeur of your hired car. We're the raccoons in your garbage and the postman who hoards the mail instead of delivering it.
We're the writers of your future. Welcome home.
Who are we?
We're the mind-controlling fungus in the ant, climbing to the top of a blade of grass to reproduce.
We're the bacterial colonies in your guts, the desiccated tardigrade of 10 years that just got rehydrated. We're the hyperthermophile that lives in a vent in the Marianas Trench.
We're the rhinovirus that makes it's way through your workplace, the cough in your vicinity, the tickle in your throat.
We're the unidentified smell in the wind, the post-urination shiver in your spine.
Who are we?
Who are we?
We're TheNetwork.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzMftL47QMI (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzMftL47QMI)
Who are we?
We're that sickening feeling at the bottom of the vile reminding you that even though you paid with cash, your bill is still due.
We're the sudden silence interrupting the buzzing in your ears screaming the secrets you tried to forget.
We're the not there, that doesn't look so very much different than the there, in the right kinda light.
Who are we?
We are the some assembly required $35.99 Genuine Imitation Cherry Stained Oak Book Case.
We are the extra screws of the wrong size.
We are the one last lugnut you need.
We are the Wall that tempts you forward fullbore, throttle open, burning hyper oxygenated jetfuel to crash into it, because it seems like a good idea, and fuck that guy Tim who tagged all over your favorite mural.
We are the screw in the shitty chair that awalys comes loose making your chair slide to the wrong side.
Who are we?
Who are we?
We are the single piece of lego conveniently placed on your floor.
We are the protruding leg of your coffee table.
We are Saturday Night in the bad part of town.
Who are we?
WE ARE UNLIMITED DATA.
We're the people that make you go faster. Even when you don't want to go faster. Even when you're screaming to stop the train, stop the train I want to get off before something bad happens. Even when there is no more track, the bridge is out, and Casey Jones is high on crack. Who are we?
We're the people who keep you In The Know. We'll tell you everything, even when you think you don't want to hear any more. We're here to keep you Informed, about everything and everything you didn't know you wanted to know about.
You have to keep up, don't fall behind! We're the ones who'll help you stay relevant.
Who are we?
Quote from: Cainad on November 20, 2012, 05:23:30 PM
We're the people who keep you In The Know. We'll tell you everything, even when you think you don't want to hear any more. We're here to keep you Informed, about everything and everything you didn't know you wanted to know about.
You have to keep up, don't fall behind! We're the ones who'll help you stay relevant.
Who are we?
Oh, I fucking like that one, because I've heard it said IRL with a
straight face. "Staying relevant"...Because if you don't know who the fuck the Kardashians are fucking, you simply aren't relevant.
This sort of shit is why humans can't be trusted with brains. They just fuck 'em up for everyone else.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 20, 2012, 05:25:40 PM
Quote from: Cainad on November 20, 2012, 05:23:30 PM
We're the people who keep you In The Know. We'll tell you everything, even when you think you don't want to hear any more. We're here to keep you Informed, about everything and everything you didn't know you wanted to know about.
You have to keep up, don't fall behind! We're the ones who'll help you stay relevant.
Who are we?
Oh, I fucking like that one, because I've heard it said IRL with a straight face. "Staying relevant"...Because if you don't know who the fuck the Kardashians are fucking, you simply aren't relevant.
This sort of shit is why humans can't be trusted with brains. They just fuck 'em up for everyone else.
:lulz: Thought I'd hit a chord with that one. I like to think the only one who decides what's relevant knowledge for me is me, but I suppose that's why they're going to put me in a cage one day with all of you weirdos.
Now, let me tell you who I am..
I am the scream of Every super rashed baby Whoes parents couldn't afford new supersede for... I am your scream to the gods when you are bested.. I am that last bight of a good meal that sickens you.. I am the TV yelling profanities, but you still watch, I am the pueblo Indian who gets a certain amount of your paycheck... I am your soul when it yearns to be free .. I am your fecal matter when it stings, and I am your fear when you think of yourself as more than mere runaways.. I am you conscience when you think you may be better, and your doom when you act on it... I am you and all you call dear.. w/o me you would not exist, w/o me you would still be grunting and fighting over a piece of dead squiril.. I am you conscioussness, your ego and super ego!.. I am your better parts, w/o me you would be apes screaming in horror @ your existence .. and yer too close for comfort!
You are, apparently, incapable of proper spelling or grammar.
What use is spelling unless it is your name..
And I'm that too!
I'm here because a Wiccan friend suggested I find a god or goddess that appeals to me. Learning about Eris inevitably brought me to crazy fucking pillowtwats.
As for who I am... once I figure out how to hook up with Eris, you can call me Daddy.
Quote from: Chaorem on November 21, 2012, 12:28:03 AM
I'm here because a Wiccan friend suggested I find a god or goddess that appeals to me. Learning about Eris inevitably brought me to crazy fucking pillowtwats.
As for who I am... once I figure out how to hook up with Eris, you can call me Daddy.
You poor child, I suggest you seek yaweh or Vishnu or Ganesh.. because this is no place for children, or cumstains..
Quote from: zarathustrasbastardson on November 21, 2012, 12:37:31 AM
You poor child, I suggest you seek yaweh or Vishnu or Ganesh.. because this is no place for children, or cumstains..
That's it then, eh? :lulz:
Quote from: Chaorem on November 21, 2012, 01:33:57 AM
Quote from: zarathustrasbastardson on November 21, 2012, 12:37:31 AM
You poor child, I suggest you seek yaweh or Vishnu or Ganesh.. because this is no place for children, or cumstains..
That's it then, eh? :lulz:
Honestly, I'd reccomend that you go to a reputible school (2or4yr) and find something that will pay your bills... graphic design, business mgmt...
seriously, this is a complete and utter waste of life!
Quote from: Chaorem on November 21, 2012, 12:28:03 AM
I'm here because a Wiccan friend suggested I find a god or goddess that appeals to me. Learning about Eris inevitably brought me to crazy fucking pillowtwats.
As for who I am... once I figure out how to hook up with Eris, you can call me Daddy.
Hey there, new guy!
Pay no mind to our current resident hostile crazy person.
Quote from: FROTISTED FUDGE CAK on November 21, 2012, 01:39:05 AM
Quote from: Chaorem on November 21, 2012, 12:28:03 AM
I'm here because a Wiccan friend suggested I find a god or goddess that appeals to me. Learning about Eris inevitably brought me to crazy fucking pillowtwats.
As for who I am... once I figure out how to hook up with Eris, you can call me Daddy.
Hey there, new guy!
Pay no mind to our current resident hostile crazy person.
I'm not hostile... I'm jaded.. and chorem... Don't listen to anyone here, they're as upset w/ their own lives as much as I am... they just can't admit it! :horrormirth:
Actually, because I am inherently smart with computers and there is no requirement to have a business license or technician license to fix computers where I live I am going to advertise and fix computers for dirt cheap. Won't get a whole heluva lot of customers, but it will be a nice augment to my bank account.
Quote from: zarathustrasbastardson on November 21, 2012, 01:37:33 AM
Honestly, I'd reccomend that you go to a reputible school (2or4yr) and find something that will pay your bills... graphic design, business mgmt...
seriously, this is a complete and utter waste of life!
:lolchix:
Quote from: Net on November 21, 2012, 02:08:36 AM
Quote from: zarathustrasbastardson on November 21, 2012, 01:37:33 AM
Honestly, I'd reccomend that you go to a reputible school (2or4yr) and find something that will pay your bills... graphic design, business mgmt...
seriously, this is a complete and utter waste of life!
:lolchix:
Asians! :fap:
Quote from: zarathustrasbastardson on November 21, 2012, 01:43:32 AM
Quote from: FROTISTED FUDGE CAK on November 21, 2012, 01:39:05 AM
Quote from: Chaorem on November 21, 2012, 12:28:03 AM
I'm here because a Wiccan friend suggested I find a god or goddess that appeals to me. Learning about Eris inevitably brought me to crazy fucking pillowtwats.
As for who I am... once I figure out how to hook up with Eris, you can call me Daddy.
Hey there, new guy!
Pay no mind to our current resident hostile crazy person.
I'm not hostile... I'm jaded.. and chorem... Don't listen to anyone here, they're as upset w/ their own lives as much as I am... they just can't admit it! :horrormirth:
Dude,
I'm a social worker. :lulz:
QuoteI am the pueblo Indian who gets a certain amount of your paycheck
Because this strikes me in an odd way, I can't put my finger on it, and no one said anything about it.
Most of what he has to say is tl;dr anyway, even if it's three words, but... yeah. That's a pretty shitty thing to say, no matter how pedantically you parse it.
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on November 21, 2012, 05:39:11 AM
QuoteI am the pueblo Indian who gets a certain amount of your paycheck
Because this strikes me in an odd way, I can't put my finger on it, and no one said anything about it.
Probably because I can't get past the first sentence or two of misspelled words and grammar that makes my cat giggle.
It's not "odd," it's fucking racist.
on the truth tip...
y'all are just world class spoiled pricks..
Please let this be my last post...!
Quote from: Luna on November 21, 2012, 12:58:48 PM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on November 21, 2012, 05:39:11 AM
QuoteI am the pueblo Indian who gets a certain amount of your paycheck
Because this strikes me in an odd way, I can't put my finger on it, and no one said anything about it.
Probably because I can't get past the first sentence or two of misspelled words and grammar that makes my cat giggle.
It's not "odd," it's fucking racist.
Where the fuck did this one come from? Houston Free Thinkers?
Quote from: Luna on November 21, 2012, 12:58:48 PM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on November 21, 2012, 05:39:11 AM
QuoteI am the pueblo Indian who gets a certain amount of your paycheck
Because this strikes me in an odd way, I can't put my finger on it, and no one said anything about it.
Probably because I can't get past the first sentence or two of misspelled words and grammar that makes my cat giggle.
It's not "odd," it's fucking racist.
It's one more reason why all 'mericans should die from typhoid!
Either a Holist alt or a Holist clone. :magick:
This will be my final response, I think.
Thank 'god' and all his distractions from your true reality!
Quote from: Luna on November 21, 2012, 12:58:48 PM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on November 21, 2012, 05:39:11 AM
QuoteI am the pueblo Indian who gets a certain amount of your paycheck
Because this strikes me in an odd way, I can't put my finger on it, and no one said anything about it.
Probably because I can't get past the first sentence or two of misspelled words and grammar that makes my cat giggle.
It's not "odd," it's fucking racist.
This.
Quote from: zarathustrasbastardson on November 21, 2012, 10:47:36 PM
on the truth tip...
y'all are just world class spoiled pricks...
Yeah, totally. We're all handsome, muscular upper-middle-class white males reeking of privilege, dude. You nailed it.
Quote from: Luna on November 21, 2012, 12:58:48 PM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on November 21, 2012, 05:39:11 AM
QuoteI am the pueblo Indian who gets a certain amount of your paycheck
Because this strikes me in an odd way, I can't put my finger on it, and no one said anything about it.
Probably because I can't get past the first sentence or two of misspelled words and grammar that makes my cat giggle.
It's not "odd," it's fucking racist.
That's what I was thinking, but I wasn't sure if I was seeing things or not.
Quote from: FROTISTED FUDGE CAK on November 22, 2012, 05:42:12 AM
Quote from: zarathustrasbastardson on November 21, 2012, 10:47:36 PM
on the truth tip...
y'all are just world class spoiled pricks...
Yeah, totally. We're all handsome, muscular upper-middle-class white males reeking of privilege, dude. You nailed it.
:lol:
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on November 22, 2012, 01:23:59 AM
Either a Holist alt or a Holist clone. :magick:
This will be my final response, I think.
Nah, he's just a nut.
Quote from: FROTISTED FUDGE CAK on November 22, 2012, 05:42:12 AM
Quote from: zarathustrasbastardson on November 21, 2012, 10:47:36 PM
on the truth tip...
y'all are just world class spoiled pricks...
Yeah, totally. We're all handsome, muscular upper-middle-class white males reeking of privilege, dude. You nailed it.
I CAN'T HELP IT IF I WAS BORN THIS WAY. STOP OPPRESSING ME LIKE THAT.
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HARD IT IS BEING THE DOMINANT ETHNIC AND GENDER.
Quote from: American Jackal on November 22, 2012, 06:24:12 PM
Quote from: FROTISTED FUDGE CAK on November 22, 2012, 05:42:12 AM
Quote from: zarathustrasbastardson on November 21, 2012, 10:47:36 PM
on the truth tip...
y'all are just world class spoiled pricks...
Yeah, totally. We're all handsome, muscular upper-middle-class white males reeking of privilege, dude. You nailed it.
I CAN'T HELP IT IF I WAS BORN THIS WAY. STOP OPPRESSING ME LIKE THAT.
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HARD IT IS BEING THE DOMINANT ETHNIC AND GENDER.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
:lulz:
Quote from: American Jackal on November 22, 2012, 06:24:12 PM
I CAN'T HELP IT IF I WAS BORN THIS WAY. STOP OPPRESSING ME LIKE THAT.
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HARD IT IS BEING THE DOMINANT ETHNIC AND GENDER.
Yes, you can help it. Just stop moving about so much, eat a couple of pounds of lard each day for a few years, and go completely over the top on dodgy tanning beds.
If you can't even do that, just keep suffering.
:lulz:
A renewal of the traditional values that have been the tendons of this country's strength. One recent survey by a Washington-based researcher concluded that Americans were far more willing to participate in cannibalism then they have in the past hundred years. America is a nation that will not suffer abominations lightly. Seven. And that is the core of the awakening. Twelve. Eighteen. We will stop al-Qaeda. Now there you go again.
For the first time we have risen, and I see we are being consumed. I see circles that are not circles. Billions of dead souls inside containment. Unravellers have eaten country's moral fabric, turning hearts into filth. I'm from a kingdom level above human. What does that yield? A hokey smile that damns an entire nation.
Further consensus has proven that over half of all Americans still hate. Eaten whole by void. The emptiness. The sadness. The blackness. The darkness. <laughter>
I have no idea what that is, but can I copypasta it?
And yet it still more coherent than holist.
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1981
QuoteSCP-1981 is a standard Betamax tape. "RONALD REGAN CUT UP WHILE TALKING)"(sic) has been handwritten on the adhesive sticker in felt tip pen. Laboratory analysis indicates that SCP-1981 is made of ordinary material, and serial numbers correspond with home cassette tapes produced in September of 1980. SCP-1981 was initially encountered by a filing clerk in the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library in 1991, who upon watching it alerted the police, with the intent to find the tape's creator to press "obscenity charges". A low level police investigation was conducted, at which point the Foundation was alerted and secured SCP-1981. Class A amnesiacs were administered before █████ could be notified. Further investigation of the library's records by Foundation personnel failed to yield any leads on SCP-1981's origin.
SCP-1981 appears to be a home video recording of former United States President Ronald Reagan delivering his "Evil Empire" speech to the National Association of Evangelicals at Sheraton Twin Towers Hotel, Orlando, FL on 3/8/1983. However, At 1 minute and 10 seconds, the speech begins to deviate heavily, eventually resembling no known speech ever made by Reagan. Beginning at approximately 5 minutes, multiple incisions, lacerations and penetration wounds can be seen being slowly inflicted, though no corresponding source of these wounds is visible. Despite suffering bodily harm that would likely incapacitate an ordinary person, Reagan will continue to deliver his speech until either his vocal cords are severed or the tape degrades to static at 22:34.
Upon rewinding SCP-1981 and initating playback, Reagan will deliver an entirely new speech, often radically different from the ones previously observed. Topics have included torture, child molestation and ritual sacrifice. Trauma inflicted upon Reagan also appears to be divergent, with impalement, genital mutilation, and [REDACTED] having all been observed. In roughly one in seven viewings of SCP-1981, a figure clothed in black robes with a conical hood will have replaced a random member of Reagan's press detail, henceforth referred to as SCP-1981-1. The significance of the appearance of SCP-1981-1 is currently unknown.
Damn, that's a good one! I haven't been paying attention to SCP in a while, figured I'd seen all the good stuff.
Yeah, I was on /x/ when they first started doing these, but I had pretty much ignored them until yesterday, when someone linked me to the Wiki.
I rather like this one, too
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1050
QuoteSCP-1050-1 is a large obelisk made of solid obsidian, with approximate dimensions of 1.48 meters by 1.48 meters by 30.5 meters.2 According to obsidian hydration dating of the obelisk, the obelisk itself was carved approximately 48,9██ years ago. Microscopic scans indicate that it is perfectly shaped at the molecular level, indicating creation requiring technology in advance of that available at the present. The obelisk is covered by a variety of writing scripts, all apparently containing the same message, and all apparently carved with the same exact precision as the obelisk itself. The surface of the obelisk appears to be subdivided into eighty 1.48 meter by 1.48 meter sections, each with a distinct form of writing. Of the eighty sections, ██ of them have been filled in. Images of several of the carvings on SCP-1050 are in Addendum 3. Linguistic analysis of the scripts indicates the following (in chronological order by age, except as noted):
██ as yet unidentified scripts bearing no resemblance to any known language or writing style, past or present, with carving dates ranging from 48,███ years ago to ██ years ago. These are presumed to contain the same message as the other scripts.
A script of unknown origin dating to the creation of the obelisk, whose spelling and grammatical structure resembles early forms of ancient Latin, though the alphabet and numeral system are completely different.
Jiahu symbols3
Akkadian Cuneiform
Egyptian Hieroglyphs
Linear A4
Olmec script5
Classical Latin
Early Medieval Swedish Runes
Modern English (circa 1891)
Modern Russian (circa 1943)
The scripts all appear to contain the same message. The following is the English version of the message, as written on SCP-1050-1 (footnotes provide conjectural annotations by the research team):
QuoteBeware the Destroyers. They come by the millions from the Realm of Darkness which extends where no stars shine. For a thousand generations They slumber, lying in wait. Great nations rise and flourish. There is peace and prosperity. Then comes the Dark Times; then They Return. They cull and burn. They are warped, and move beyond the pale, bigger than any man, unnatural births. Every nail, claw-scale and spur, every spike and welt on the hand of those heathen brutes is as barbed steel. It is said there is no honed iron hard enough to pierce Them through, no time proofed blade that can cut Their brutal blood caked claws. Armies are raised and cut down like grasses before a scythe – it is said the armies of Amorah and Suhdom, each ten thousand strong, were swept away between a single rising and setting sun. Heroes come forth and are slaughtered. Lightning and fire rain from the sky and the whole earth trembles. They are as a deluge, a powerful flood that washes away entire mighty nations and empires. The people pray for deliverance from the gods. The gods fight the Destroyers, but their efforts are in vain. Iapetos, Ausare, Ehecatl, Souchang – all perished. The Destroyers are to the gods as the gods are to men and men are to insects: cold and vast and unsympathetic. The wise flee Them; the lucky escape. Fifty score great vessels were launched to seek refuge from Them; only those led by Satyavrata, Utnapishtim, Noach, and Deucalion escaped. The Dark Ones vanquish all before Them. They have come before since before time began. Now They slumber. They will return. Beware the Destroyers.
13 057 935 897. 13 057 987 212. 13 082 937 367. 13 082 989 898. 13 097 951 299. 13 098 004 240. 13 154 950 029. 13 154 997 841. 13 171 943 486. 13 171 996 357. 13 175 947 117. 13 175 997 684. 13 179 942 287. 13 179 990 180. 13 183 948 781. 13 183 999 048. 13 232 952 474. 13 233 001 388. 13 281 951 481. 13 282 002 364. 13 329 941 108. 13 329 990 159. 13 348 945 350. 13 348 994 654. 13 394 942 237. 13 394 994 635. 13 416 953 628. 13 417 005 920. 13 454 440 174. 13 454 492 033. 13 482 944 398. 13 482 991 663. 13 534 433 334. 13 534 484 218. 13 566 069 136. 13 566 119 652. 13 585 446 914. 13 585 499 555. 13 599 896 703. 13 599 945 679. Proclaimed again by Her Majesty Victoria, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland Queen, Defender of the Faith, Empress of India, in the Year of Our Lord Eighteen Hundred Ninety-One.
They've gotten a lot better.