Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Propaganda Depository => Topic started by: Cramulus on April 07, 2008, 09:02:26 pm

Title: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Cramulus on April 07, 2008, 09:02:26 pm
So this weekend I treated the WRATH OF MSPAINT CABAL to a showing of that musical production that all you spags are in. I usually don't like musicals, and this one was no exception. Had I not had a lot of friends in it, you wouldn't have forced me into that theater without a straight jacket and a bulldozer.

Annnnyway, the WOMP Cabal seated ourselves in the front row and waited in rapt attention for the first ever performance of A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE.

For those of you who aren't familliar with the play, it stars LMNO as a cab driver. That's about all I could make sense of. The rest of it... well... It's as as incoherent as Robert Anton Wilson mixing acid and benzedrine. The dialogue is like someone had a computer translate the script into German, then Spanish, then back to English. The acting was so bad I couldn't tell if it was intentional. The props and sets looked like they were hastily thrown together at the last minute by drunks and drug addicts. This was a bad play - poorly written, poorly directed, poorly performed. Don't go see it. In fact, go tell other people not to see it.


(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/fabcab.jpg)


Listen, I know you guys have been rehearsing for weeks and weeks. I know your little hearts were in it, so I don't want to hurt your feelings. But I'm the kind of friend who will tell you if you've got something stuck in your teeth. This show was just plain bad. The house was packed at the beginning, and empty by final curtains. The audience was lucky to get any ovation, let alone a standing one. When they came out for the final curtain call, rotten fruit was thrown. And in all fairness, the only guy clapping was Payne, and he was so drunk I think he might have been trying to *fap* but just misspelled it.

So without further ado, are some pictures and reviews from FAPCAB.



BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE WRATH OF MS PAINT CABAL




Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Cramulus on April 07, 2008, 09:04:08 pm

LMNO's performance as the cabdriver was sadly lacking. I've heard some of his tracks before, and I know he can sing. But in his duet with Aretha Franklin, "Raped by Food", I couldn't help but think he had been hitting the jenkem back stage.

(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/fapcab/lmnorethra.jpg)
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Payne on April 07, 2008, 09:05:24 pm
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/FCND2.png)

Penumbral and The Pirates of Pens Ass showed up to do a special number of their own, which, normally would be a treat. On this occasion, however, the dynamic of this normally outstanding group of performers was thrown out by the illness of regular member Requiem, who had to be replaced at short notice by Ambassador Klok Kaos.

The result was a pitchy performance, positively ear rending at points.

Penumbral himself was understated, but, as readers of gossip magazines wil know, has recently been battling weight problems. He appeared to be wearing some kind of corset which restricted his normal vocals to a mere whisper.

Izzo, who has just been released from rehab, seemed confused by the entire affair, and even appeared wearing the groups usual headgear.

The less said about Kaos, the better.
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Triple Zero on April 07, 2008, 09:10:29 pm
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/fapcab/suck_lebowski.jpg)

Ratatosk's casting as LHX's comic relief sidekick in the Possibility Predicate Posse, a renegade group of rebelling semantic subjectivists, was not only unfortunate as well as highly aggravating, spouting inane oneliners like a twelve year-old that just discovered the sentence-fragment "... that's what she said!":

LHX: "E-Prime, motherfucker! Do you speak it?!"
Ratatosk: ".. IN SOME SENSE!"
Cainad: "Dude .. I .. have a heart condition .."
Ratatosk: ".. MAYBE!"

Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on April 07, 2008, 09:13:44 pm
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v300/holy_garber/FAPCAB.jpg)
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Cramulus on April 07, 2008, 09:14:33 pm
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/fapcab/dancenumbervexcainad.jpg)
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Payne on April 07, 2008, 09:15:37 pm
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/fapcab/FCND_TGRR-1.png)

The Good Reverend Roger, revisiting his role as the "Beautiful Fairy Princess" seemed very much out of sorts on the night.

The usual vocal power was there, but seemed to be uncontrolled and, at times, frighteningly close to breaking down completely.

An ill advised dance routine saw him nearly lost a foot to a stage light, and a near fight broke out when he thrust his pelvis into the face of an 80 year old woman on the front row.

An enigmatic performer at the best of times, Roger seemed to cross the line into eccentricity and bewildering oddness.

If this is any indication of his future on the stage, then that future may well be very short indeed.
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Eve on April 07, 2008, 09:16:13 pm
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/fapcab/bambi_jenne.jpg)
Jenne's performance was highly disappointing. If slurred lines weren't enough, her callous laughter during the death of Bambi's mother went too far.
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Richter on April 07, 2008, 09:20:39 pm
(http://img223.imageshack.us/img223/6775/wompjenkemzp2.png)
The local school board and police department now truly regret ever asking that the multitude of "Fapcab's" performers add in a section on the dangers of drug abuse as a public service.  "Jenkem Madness", just as unrealistic and banal as the "Mental Hygiene" films which it took it's tone from, this skit left us all resolved to find a vendor of street drugs and relentlessly shoot, snort and smoke as soon as we left the theatre.  After the haze of intoxicant receded, we are still haunted by the leering faces, the mounds of manure and fecal matter, and the upstanding and enthusiastic players so horribly debasing themselves.
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Cramulus on April 07, 2008, 09:22:16 pm
I decided to hang out in the bathroom until the wretched musical number was over. I came back and this shit was going on. I have asked several other members of the audience, most of whom were awake at the time, and nobody could explain this scene to my satisfaction.


(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/fapcab/luck_Netaungrot.jpg)

Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Eve on April 07, 2008, 09:25:29 pm
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/fapcab/rhps1.jpg)

Rocky Horror Picture Show? More like Retinal Hemorrhage Picture Show. The costume department had no chance in this production, due to the unsightly nature of the actors who have obviously been hitting the drugs and booze too much between shows. This should have had an effect on the quality of the performance, but I can't imagine ANYthing could have made it worse.

(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/fapcab/rhps2.jpg)
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Dr. Paes on April 07, 2008, 09:26:28 pm
(http://i259.photobucket.com/albums/hh309/Paesior/WOMPWOMPWOMP.jpg)
The lights dimmed and people hurriedly picked up their belongings ready to leave.
The aisles were full of people rushing to get out of the theatre.
But the doors were still barred.
The stage lights flickered back to life.
The audience slowly, fearfully made their way back to their seats.
With the previous acts in mind they watched anxiously as a new band of performers made their way on stage.
...and then all hell broke loose.
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Payne on April 07, 2008, 09:27:41 pm
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/FCND1.png)

The dancing number starring Dr. Loki and Mr. Suu seemed to have been improvised on the night, so wooden  were the moves.

Somewhat questionable as he is already, Loki appeared blacked up like some kind of terrible '50s variety show, sparking concern in this writer that the show may spark a racial backlash. A Low-Key performance it was not.

Mr. Suu seems to have reached the end of his patience with this production, and even apeared to be drunk on stage, at one point tripping over his heels, and head butting Loki in the back of the head.

No one seemed to notice these errors, so bad was the acting, the singing, the scripting and the direction.

Ill advised, morally dubious, and definitely one to miss.
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Richter on April 07, 2008, 09:28:23 pm
(http://img144.imageshack.us/img144/1631/vexwomp1zj4.jpg)
John Paul Vexation's "Pan of Japan" dance and flute routine was another pestilent pustule upon this performance's profound posterior.  Supposedly inspired by musical mogul, Gilbert Sullivan LMNO, and his obsession with the Shakuhachi, this was less a serenade of love and nature, and more the vile piping of Azathoth.  We in the Entertainment Section truly wish the idiot nuclear chaos would more forcibly inspire this performance, so we could all be mercifully cleansed from life by fallout and holocaust.
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Cramulus on April 07, 2008, 09:28:38 pm
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/fapcab/wizoz.jpg)

A Fapcab Named Desire was a gross combination of child pornography, beastiality and (insert technical term for sex with robots or scarecrows).
We give it a 0/5 - The Daily Glob
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Cramulus on April 07, 2008, 09:34:30 pm
There was this really poorly executed scene which sort of touched on Rev. Whats-His-Name's nemesis, Cthulhu's squidling.

(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/fapcab/dinoscene0.jpg)

As everybody knows, Maine Discordians and Flordia Discordians have a sort of weird latitudinal rivalry. I think the playwright was trying to play on this by writing a bizarre scene between RHWN and CS.





(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/fapcab/dinoscene1cs.jpg)

Rev What's His Name was lured into comforting a bereaved Cthulhu's Squidling. She had just lost her entire pog collection and was in hysterics, and the noble RWHN came to the rescue. In of itself, this would have been a touching moment if not for the totally arbitrary and unjustified dinosaur chase scene.


(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/fapcab/dinoscene2cs.jpg)
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Richter on April 07, 2008, 09:45:12 pm
(http://img411.imageshack.us/img411/6070/wompnazi1zr8.jpg)
A shameful rip-off of "The Producers" and MC Hammer, the "Guten Tag Break Beat" was just one more seriously senseless slander session of the Fabcab performance.  Played out without respect to either holocaust survivors (the local society had received free tickets) or coma victims, the number was bold and innovative only for the gall it took to perpetrate such profuse piss in the face of the sun.  Anyone having information on the whereabouts of the Terri Schiavo look alike are asked to contact the local Police Department.  Reward offered.
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Payne on April 07, 2008, 09:53:04 pm
Telexed from our roving reporter Nigel (Currently on assignment in Istanbul)

(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/fapcab/LMNOcowboy.jpg?t=1207104886)


LMNO's portrayal of Rita the Hooker with a Heart of Gold could be described as transfixing, if we agree that by "tranfixing" we mean "painfully impaled by a sharp object through the innards". Never in my nearly three decades of theater-going have I been exposed to such an uncomfortable character; from the visible bulge in Rita's hot pants, to the complete lack of observance for the tenderness the script calls for in her character, to the utter disrespect of storyline, plot, dialogue, and continuity, to the outright bizarre decision of LMNO to cast himself in the role and make Rita out to be more of a blundering, peculiarly masculine urban cowboy than the vulnerable exploited waif she is supposed to be, the entire experience would have been better enjoyed if I HAD actually been impaled and gutted beforehand.
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Cramulus on April 07, 2008, 09:54:38 pm
I was hoping, REALLY hoping that the ending would somehow make ANY of this wretched play make sense.


No dice. There was only SWEET MERCIFUL FUCK, PTERODACTYLS!



(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/fapcab/pteroriot2.png)



(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/fapcab/pteroriot.png)



at least everybody got what they deserved.






















LE FIN
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Jasper on April 07, 2008, 10:38:02 pm
I am spellbound.

*stunned silence*
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Mourning Star on April 07, 2008, 10:47:39 pm
I caem
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: N E T on April 07, 2008, 10:51:11 pm
:mittens:
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Iason Ouabache on April 07, 2008, 10:56:07 pm
:mittens: :mittens: :mittens: :mittens: :mittens:
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on April 07, 2008, 11:11:48 pm
 :postpics:

SRSLY  :argh!:
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Golden Applesauce on April 08, 2008, 01:48:24 am
....

WOW.  That is very impressive, if only because it involved Discordians being organized.
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 08, 2008, 02:18:17 am
I'm in it twice. :fap:
:mittens:
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Darth Cupcake on April 08, 2008, 02:53:35 am
Holy crap. That was so amazing it hurt.

:mittens: x eleventy billionty!
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Vene on April 08, 2008, 04:31:03 am
Much love.
 :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap:
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 08, 2008, 04:34:58 am
GENIUS!
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Lies on April 08, 2008, 05:38:46 am
:mittens:  :lulz:
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Kimmy Gibbler on April 08, 2008, 06:08:06 am
Need a Post of the Year icon.
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on April 08, 2008, 06:50:15 am
 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

wow
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 08, 2008, 08:51:02 am
Also:

extra :mittens: :mittens: for WOMPing me into a scene from The Big Lebowski, which I just saw for the first time two days ago.
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: AFK on April 08, 2008, 01:44:15 pm
Best PD.COM production since the Enrico Show.  :mittens:
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: LMNO on April 08, 2008, 02:06:49 pm
Fuckin HAWT!
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on April 08, 2008, 04:33:12 pm
oh, thanks for womping me onto a chick w/ bewbies!

 :D
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: SuuCal on April 08, 2008, 04:53:30 pm
Good show, spags!
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Cramulus on April 08, 2008, 04:58:00 pm
I want to take this time to extend an official welcome to the new recruits into the Wrath of MS Paint Cabal (and the SUCK sect - the Shoppers United Cabal of Kaos).

Welcome,

Anonymously Evil
Nigel
and Paesior!



Other potential applicants should post pictures they made. We're not too exclusive or anything, so if you want to get in on awful MS Paint and photoshop projects, POST!
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: SuuCal on April 08, 2008, 05:07:30 pm
Sorry I couldn't get in on critiquing this production, my agent told me no and had me play Rocky instead.

Though when Zippy clung to my leg.... :fap:
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 08, 2008, 09:43:37 pm
I am proud to be part of this masterful horrorshow!
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Jenne on April 11, 2008, 07:53:04 pm
:mittens:  Also, I'm a furry!  Thankees, Eve!  :D
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Eve on April 11, 2008, 09:31:31 pm
 :thanks:
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on February 01, 2009, 08:31:58 pm
bmup
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 01, 2009, 09:02:41 pm
bmup

:wtf:
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Payne on February 01, 2009, 09:47:23 pm
Fapcab is still running on Broadway.

The audiences are largely the habitual and masochistic set now, though.
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Cramulus on February 02, 2009, 03:10:31 pm
sometimes we CAN be "funny on cue"

let this thread stand as testament!
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: SuuCal on February 02, 2009, 06:03:05 pm
I think this should be stickied.
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 09, 2009, 06:36:44 pm
How the fuck did I miss this?

 :lulz:
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 09, 2009, 06:36:59 pm
I think this should be stickied.

Agreed.  Done.
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Richter on September 09, 2009, 07:08:14 pm
We need another project like this.  Not that the sporadic outbreaks of coast vs. coast WOMP fire havn't been funny, but something slightly more premeditated would be amusing to do again.
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on September 10, 2009, 11:26:12 am
this fread is :mittens:
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Darth Cupcake on September 10, 2009, 05:36:48 pm
Holy crap I had forgotten about this thread. It was such epic beauty.

Also, I liked the WORK SAFE THREAD campaign. That was good.
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Payne on September 10, 2009, 05:38:33 pm
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=13352.0

^
There you go.
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on September 12, 2009, 05:24:22 pm
HORSECOCKS! I DEMAND A SEQUEL!
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Triple Zero on September 12, 2009, 09:52:47 pm
I demand the IP of P3NTs old forum so we can go back there!!
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on March 06, 2010, 11:20:35 pm
(http://i259.photobucket.com/albums/hh309/Paesior/WOMPWOMPWOMP.jpg)
The lights dimmed and people hurriedly picked up their belongings ready to leave.
The aisles were full of people rushing to get out of the theatre.
But the doors were still barred.
The stage lights flickered back to life.
The audience slowly, fearfully made their way back to their seats.
With the previous acts in mind they watched anxiously as a new band of performers made their way on stage.
...and then all hell broke loose.

THIS IS WHY I NEED TO BUMP FREAD!


I WANT PAYNES BANDANA! GIVES IT TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! TURQUOISE :fap:
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Dr. Paes on March 06, 2010, 11:36:48 pm
I demand the IP of P3NTs old forum so we can go back there!!
This.
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Triple Zero on March 06, 2010, 11:40:23 pm
Oh, right I asked P3NT about that but he said to ask Syn ... and then I got distracted.

SYN!! HALP?
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 07, 2011, 09:30:43 pm
Bump for the goodness.   :lol:
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on February 07, 2011, 11:24:50 pm
 :lulz:
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Luna on February 07, 2011, 11:37:00 pm
(http://serve.mysmiley.net/confused/confused0052.gif) (http://www.mysmiley.net/free-happy-smileys.php)
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Don Coyote on February 08, 2011, 01:18:12 am
There are no words.
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Pæs on February 08, 2011, 03:18:21 am
 :argh!:
Who is responsible for this horrible thread?
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 08, 2011, 03:21:22 am
:argh!:
Who is responsible for this horrible thread?

I dropped peelz in Cram's oatmeal.

I'd do it again.
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Cramulus on February 08, 2011, 03:39:23 pm
 :lulz: this was from when the WOMP cabal had their own secret forum. We had a few projects which we planned extensively over there, then dumped over here - like the SFW thread.

One project we never finished was "OPERATION LIZARD FORT", in which all the WOMP cabal members made forts out of blankets and couch cushions, and then hid from the alien reptar invaders from Wio's forum. ahhh good times.
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: AFK on February 08, 2011, 07:40:23 pm
I think this was actually the last time I was WOMP-ed.

RWHN,
Not getting the womp-love. 
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Pæs on February 09, 2011, 03:02:33 am
I think this was actually the last time I was WOMP-ed.

RWHN,
Not getting the womp-love. 

No, there was also this:
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=16711.15
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Pæs on October 09, 2011, 12:37:17 am
HOW DID I GET HERE I AM NOT GOOD WITH COMPUTERS
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 09, 2011, 07:47:01 am
:lulz: this was from when the WOMP cabal had their own secret forum. We had a few projects which we planned extensively over there, then dumped over here - like the SFW thread.

One project we never finished was "OPERATION LIZARD FORT", in which all the WOMP cabal members made forts out of blankets and couch cushions, and then hid from the alien reptar invaders from Wio's forum. ahhh good times.

OH SHIT I still have pics from that! I can't believe it was never finished... that was awesome!
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: Pæs on January 02, 2013, 03:00:21 am
WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?
Title: Re: A FAPCAB NAMED DESIRE
Post by: SuuCal on January 10, 2013, 07:28:29 pm
THIS IS PEEDEE GLORY