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Messages - Doktor Howl

Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 5 6 ... 2031
31
Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« on: April 11, 2022, 09:25:04 pm »
So the new project has us counting lost man-years due to the pandemic (We're just past 19,000,000 man-years of knowledge/production, and we've really only done the simple stuff), but the really NEAT part is that between that and working with <gubmint org>, I am ALSO developing a real idea of how much actual communication occurs.

The answer, you may have guessed, is "Jack Shit."

This has sort of split me and my group off onto a tangent, and we have proven there was more information moved between government and NGO departments prior to email than there is today...When measured as "useful, actionable information."  And just like all the plebs, the decision-makers have to sort out the non-information/disinformation before they can make a decision, and that sorting is impossible in practice.

Nobody run Bartertown.  Bartertown functions in the same way a SCADA-operated system does if the front end crashes; it just keeps doing the same thing regardless of any changes to the situation.  Errors begin to multiply, and since nobody can do anything about those errors, everyone just pretends that the situation is normal and has always been like this; where "this" means "the current buggy situation with today's error values added".

Think of it as an anthill with a disabled queen, except ants don't bitch as much.  They just mindlessly keep doing whatever they were last instructed to do.

The best part of this is when I fuck off and visit debatepolitics.com and listen to fucking waterheads explain that some large, shadowy cabal controls society. 

No, you fucking morons, nobody controls society.  Some people THINK they do, but even they can't get anything done.

Nobody is driving the train, everyone's drunk in the club car.

32
Oh, we know how we got here.

This thread is a fucking goldmine, really.   :lulz:

33
Apple Talk / Re: Introductions VIII: Some bad news for new folks
« on: April 11, 2022, 09:09:32 pm »
Hello, all.
*coughs congealed blood* *pisses dust*
 :fap:

NOBODY RUN BARTERTOWN

34
Apple Talk / Introductions VIII: Some bad news for new folks
« on: April 11, 2022, 07:59:15 pm »
Hello, and welcome to PD.com.  Unfortunately, we're extinct, mostly due to facebook but also because Discordians don't get alone by definition.

You don't have to tell us how zany you are or how fucked up your head is, because we've already been there and done that.  However, you CAN tell us if you want, because we're all dead and won't complain (much).

Anyway, there's a ton of great content buried under 100 tons of angry/bitter bickering, and those nuggets are worth looking for.

Please sign the guest book, using the provided quill and some of Faust's jellied blood (difficult, I know, but it's tradition.)

35
Another way to think about it is this:  You MUST address flagrant injustices.  You MUST ALSO address the underpinnings of your economy.

You have to do BOTH.  If you can't or won't do both, then you are incompetent and/or useless in terms of running the government.  The progressives will only do one, the dems will only do the other, and they are all furious at each other and won't work together, so we're all fucked.  Actual Nazis will be in the congress, and everyone will continue saying "HOW DID WE GET HERE?"

PROPHECY!

36
The very best thing about Project Bluebook is that it was started in 1952, and Groom Lake (ie, Area 51) started up as a classified aircraft testing range in 1954.  I'm betting they got the idea from the weather balloon that crashed in 1952.

So sometimes you get a conspiracy that EXISTS but works backward from the way the nutters think it does.

In this case, it was a conspiracy to hide aircraft testing with outlandish tales about aliens.  The people who think they're wise to the Con were the exact people who carried out the wishes of the Con, and DID IT FOR FREE.

Also, if you do enough drugs, you'll eventually see the aliens.

If you do enough of the GOOD drugs, you may or may not see the aliens, but you won't care.

ALTERNATE THEORY:  The loons are right, and it really IS all about aliens.  In which case, they build the kind of spaceships that CRASH.  WE can do that, and we're not even NEARLY a star-faring culture.  We should demand better aliens.  And maybe treat the ones we already HAVE to some primate "hospitality".  Fuck those guys.  Seriously.





37
Apple Talk / Re: Official shit on rong thread
« on: April 09, 2022, 05:59:06 pm »
I don't want to call it too early, but I mean, the behavior modification seems to work.

Now, I grant you, this was sort of like "they plinked a fleck of paint off of the battlecruiser with a BB gun, prepare the 8 inch guns", but Fraudulence is my middle name and escalation is my specialty.

The response to a dinged-up paint job is a nuclear first strike.

Just saying.

38
Apple Talk / Re: Official shit on rong thread
« on: April 09, 2022, 01:08:05 am »
if memory serves, you live in wisconsin, which ain't too far from me.  if you're interested, i'd be happy to settle this over a friendly boxing match - we could sell tickets and donate the proceeds to a nice charity.

Did you seriously just try to internet tough guy?

39
please choose the response that best conforms to your biases:

1) we all know it's impossible for people to change

2) sorry about that, if you could please provide a list of approved methods of aggression, I'll try to stick to those

3) no, you're the passive aggressive ass, i just try to make jokes but suffer from bad taste

4) this page is important. the opinions of those who post here are important.  only correct opinions will be tolerated.

5) PD doesn't care about your feelings, unless they get hurt by a passive aggressive ass, what a jerk!

It's not so much "hurt feelings" as a minor but persistent annoyance.

"HURR HURR THEY'RE TRIGGERED AND THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW IT!"
- Rong, all alone at the party.

40
geeze, cut a guy some slack, would ya?
What have you ever said or done that would earn you any slack?

1) we all know it's impossible for people to change
Have you changed?  Do you want to change?  Are you going to change?

Quote
i just try to make jokes but suffer from bad taste

Do you suffer from foot-in-mouth disease?  Do you make inappropriate comments that alienate everyone around you?  Do you fear you may be making an idiot of yourself in public?  Do you experience verbal diarrhea?

We have the solution you're looking for!

SHUT UP!

SHUT UP is a revolutionary product, first discovered by Mongolian Bhuddist monks in the Pleistocene epoch, and recently perfected in the laboratory.  SHUT UP is hypoallergenic, nut-free, and gluten free.  Four out of five ascetics have no comment on SHUT UP.

Ask your Doktor if SHUT UP is right for you.


We here at Shut Up, the American Journal of Horrorology, endorse this.

41
Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« on: April 08, 2022, 09:41:44 pm »
Fred the Security Guard*:  "So tell me how you did it."

Me:  "Did what?"

FTSG:  "Made one of my guys piss all over his leg in the bathroom."

Me:  "I'm quite sure I don't control how your guys piss."

FTSG:  "Har-de-har-har.  You know, the whole 'ghost voice' thing?"

Me:  "Hmm.  Supernatural things aren't covered by our contract, so if you need a ghost removed, that will have to be quoted as additional labor."

FTSG:  "Who said I want it removed?  None of those guys have slept on the job ever since."

Me:  "So you want me to leave the ghost?"

FTSG:  "Yes.  I just want to know how you did it."

Me:  "My facilities voodoo is strong."

FTSG:  "So if I wanted MORE ghosts..."

Me:  "I'll send you a quote."

FTSG:  "You realize how silly this conversation is, right?"

Me:  "This is how Science gets done to people."




*  Fred the Security Guard insists that his proper title is "Deputy Chief US Marshal," and his name isn't Fred, But you know how cops lie.

42
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: April 08, 2022, 09:35:25 pm »
Today was good. Oh yes, genuinely good. And what a fucking end to my night. I'll just copypaste from Twitter.



It's finally happened. I'm a horror movie antagonist. Really. Oh man. I am so proud of this day.

SO: I go into a gas station. Still have scars on my face from my most recent bout of self-harm. Got my respirator on, and my laptop in its beefy plastic case slung over my shoulder. Wearing my edgy ass long coat, milsurp clothes, fucked up old boots.

"What the fuck is THAT?" The two drunkest men alive come up to me and start gawking. "What IS that?!" In my best fuck-off voice: "That would be ME."

Not good enough for them. They speculate about what I am, "Star Wars fan?" and I stop humoring them. So I'm buying cigarettes.

Behind me: "No, wait, I heard about this. It's like, a life support system. See the thing? Yeah, like, if your heart stops working, you know? So..." Checkout complete, on my way out the door. "--Wait wait, so that's a fuckin dead person?"

Horror movie antagonist. Fucking love it.

 :lulz:

43
Apple Talk / Re: Official shit on rong thread
« on: April 08, 2022, 09:34:13 pm »
please choose the response that best conforms to your biases:

1) we all know it's impossible for people to change

2) sorry about that, if you could please provide a list of approved methods of aggression, I'll try to stick to those

3) no, you're the passive aggressive ass, i just try to make jokes but suffer from bad taste

4) this page is important. the opinions of those who post here are important.  only correct opinions will be tolerated.

5) PD doesn't care about your feelings, unless they get hurt by a passive aggressive ass, what a jerk!

IN ORDER, these mean, when you place them into fucking context:
1: There's nothing wrong with making jokes about gay people while the US and UK are gearing up for genocide. Get over it, I'm just being lighthearted while you watch the Machine get ready to bury you in your thousands.
2: I'm just expressing my aggression towards gay people. I am a homophobe. Why can't I be a homophobe?
3: See 1. Also, the gays are oppressing my freeze-peach.
4: Political correctness run amok.
5: See 2 and 4.

rong. With this, you've dug yourself a hole that Elon Musk would say is a bit too deep. It's a shame you aren't as identifiable as Fujikoma or LuciferX, because I would love to just crush your online presence from all conceivable angles. I would make you feel dread to comment on a Youtube video. I have the time, I have the means, I have the energy. Alas, you've covered your online ass -- almost like you know the shit you get up to and what will happen to you for it.

Regardless: you have shat on the dinner table in my presence for the last time, as far as I'm concerned. Now we get to where we run you out of town on a fucking rail. And yeah, you'll leave, or you'll wish you had decided to. Your investment may be zero, but I will ensure every return is disproportionately negative. And if you ever think to yourself that it's not funny, let me assure you that I am, as ever, the great laughing worm in the sky, crowned in fire.

See, funny isn't for you.

Funny is for me.



Flounce now. It's for your own good.

Problem is, he's one of those sad sacks that thinks negative attention is better than no attention, so there's no way he'll leave.  :(

And also, any remorse that he has to show for anything will last the exact amount of time that exists between the time of the apology and the next time he gets drunk.  So like 10 minutes.  And he lacks the intestinal fortitude to back down from a drunk post.

Finally, I'd like to argue that it isn't so much that this board would be a better place without him, so much as the universe in general would be a better place without him.

Please note that the usual PD over-the-top hilarity is *not* being used in this post. 

44
Apple Talk / Re: Official shit on rong thread
« on: April 08, 2022, 09:29:44 pm »
Hey you spags, if you want to shit on me, do it here and quit derailing other people's threads.

Eat a diseased dick.  I'll shit on you where I please.

45
Considering it ended with "why do you keep feeding it," there is no positive reading. There is no point in giving this little creature the benefit of the doubt. He keeps sticking his ass where it isn't wanted and then pretending he's too stupid to think through the consequences of his actions, so he shouldn't have to face them. Well now that they're fucking bombing us and encouraging us to be lined up in front of firing squads, I'm done giving any benefit of the doubt. Homophobia gets the thumbscrews at minimum. He should be /grateful/.

Sorry for fucking up your actually not-terrible topic with this shit, but ... yeah.

He's been a passive-aggressive ass all the years he's been here.

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