Go in to work my first day today, my boss resigned (effective 2 weeks). The plant engineer quit 3 months ago, and his office is haunted. The plant manager quit 3 weeks ago in disgrace and nobody has done the regulatory shit. The site manager is a nice old guy who smiles and wants me to tell him that everything is okay. It's not. But it will be. As long as we fix the fucking parking lots before we get sinkholes. The environmental engineer has a brand new degree and lead in the water, and came into my office and asked for my advice. AN ENGINEER ASKED FOR ADVICE. Of course I'm giving him advice, this shit needs to be encouraged. I *think* I see the problem, but we're going to collect data anyway.
The safety lady (also brand new) is an empire builder who was furious that I was taking security away from her. NOPE. TAKE IT, DON'T HAVE TIME FOR IT. It runs itself and all that is required is making ID badges. She was going to go to war over making ID badges. The acting maintenance manager is a bigwig from the corporate home office who announced that I am to be considered management instead of a coordinator, then vanished back into his den. The accountant and the purchasing agent are just happy to see someone come IN rather than go out. The IT guy is awesome and helped me locate the listening device in my office, which is apparently a corporate standard. We do all our serious talking over by the chillers, where you have to whisper at 100 decibels.
It's absolute chaos, because nobody wants to take control. Well, the Captain has arrived.
Now I just have to talk my boss out of resigning, and talk corporate bigwig into letting her retract her resignation.
It will be GLORIOUS! They haven't the slightest idea who they just brought aboard.
Question, does being seen as a manager come with management pay and benefits package? It ought to.
If there's been lead in the water for some time it's known to cause irritability and eventually psychosis. Anyone got bleeding gums?
Why is everyone leaving?
Odysseus has come home to Ithaca.
Sounds like you're in for a good time, for a specific definition of "good".
:lulz:
So did you apply for this job or did you just wander towards the unbroken shaft of light on the horizon that heralded your coming?
UPDATE: Boss is actually insane. This morning's meeting was sort of like finding out that the pilot of the plane you are on is banging up big rails of cocaine off of the flight attendant's ass and oh, yeah, the landing gear is broken but we elected not to spend the money budgeted on it because doing so would not demonstrate the UNLIMITED POWAH of the person making the decisions.
Fortunately, I am not there to succeed. I am there to chart failure in the potable and waste water systems (and let me tell you how much horrormirthy goodness is tied up in that. But I helped the site manager lead a coup today anyway, so now we're just fixing shit and not telling the boss.
EXAMPLE: she has forbidden the repair of a 10 acre parking lot, even though it's in the budget because "we don't just spend money just because it's budgeted". The penalty for NOT fixing the parking lot is a series of giant fucking sinkholes that can exceed 15' deep and 30 or so feet wide, with no warning at all.
IN ADDITION, she has built this giant model of utility function, based on SCADA reporting. It's absolutely flawless. Except that she missed a gas meter for an entire 6 floor, 2 acre building, and 2 electric meters. This was brought up in the morning meeting by the contract engineer, and we were then treated to TWO AND A HALF HOURS of her explaining why her world is constantly being sabotaged by maliciously stupid underlings and why is our turnover so fucking high, anyway?
For the second half of the day, she sat in her office in a sort of rage-zen trance that frankly left me feeling jealous.
Not that I care. I'm here to study the shitpocalypse. Which is not some nebulous possibility, but an absolute certainty, in bigger cities and smaller towns. It's gonna happen, and I know why. I just don't know yet how bad it's going to be. Next week, the environmental engineer and I are going to do a scale simulation. We think we can make shit go 40 feet up in the air without any mechanical assistance, using nothing but a normal sewer/sanitation system that is about 1/100 of 1% the size of, say, Manhattan's...Just by deliberately causing a single failure.
Don't you wish you were me?
Are you regretting talking her out of resigning?
Quote from: Cain on April 12, 2017, 02:04:12 AM
Are you regretting talking her out of resigning?
I didn't get to that point. I was going to talk to her after the meeting, but then decided it was best if I just shut the fuck up. :lulz:
Boss has been offered a rather monastic position elsewhere (Guatemala, I think) by the company, doing less stressful things. I was handed the monthly energy reports and discovered why she's crazy. She's a dataist. I am, too, but what she failed to do was examine the sources of her data. She was getting incorrect data from the SQL servers, because the gas valves were installed "wherever the fuck", rather than in the places for which they were calibrated, one wasn't reporting at all, the electricity meters haven't been calibrated in forever (but you can bet our supplier's meters are), and as a result, nothing could EVER be reconciled, because she was applying sound logic to bad data.
Also, she didn't bother inviting department heads in to discuss why their numbers shat on the floor. Not that this is a criticism of the department heads (not if it's done with any diplomacy at all), but rather a chance to say, "HEY, SOMETHING OVER THERE IS SHITTING THE BED AND MAYBE WE SHOULD FIND WHERE THE 3,500,000 GALLONS OF WATER WENT."
So apparently corporate guy is reassessing my role in the complex. I have told him that I will commit seppeku if he puts me in charge of stuff, and that I am far more valuable doing what I was hired to do, but give me more money please and don't stand too close when we set off the shit geyser, those clothes look expensive.
Safety manager lady says me and the environmental engineer are just a little too excited about said upcoming shitpocalypse, but I don't expect her to understand. It's a nerd thing.
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 13, 2017, 02:13:07 AM
... discovered why she's crazy. She's a dataist.
I had to give that a double-take.
Glad things are looking up for you Roger. Sounds like they're going to shit for everyone else but hey.
Quote from: Xaz on April 13, 2017, 10:27:38 AM
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 13, 2017, 02:13:07 AM
... discovered why she's crazy. She's a dataist.
I had to give that a double-take.
Glad things are looking up for you Roger. Sounds like they're going to shit for everyone else but hey.
Ahem
Quote"and don't stand too close when we set off the shit geyser"
Additionally I at first thought it read "she's a dadaist" instead of dataist and had to double take.
I swear, some of my most frustrating moments have been trying to figure out why the numbers don't add up before discovering that the numbers themselves are wrong, after being repeatedly told they're not.
It's also fun when someone asks you to do an apples to apples analysis, but provides a set of apples and a set of sea cucumbers.
Is this practice for joining the Trump administration?
Quote from: Cain on April 13, 2017, 07:35:18 PM
Is this practice for joining the Trump administration?
This is monetizing the Trump administration's mistakes.
Quote from: LMNO on April 13, 2017, 01:19:56 PM
I swear, some of my most frustrating moments have been trying to figure out why the numbers don't add up before discovering that the numbers themselves are wrong, after being repeatedly told they're not.
It's also fun when someone asks you to do an apples to apples analysis, but provides a set of apples and a set of sea cucumbers.
Yes. Bad data + good logic = insanity.
On the other hand, today I asked the neighbor if I could borrow 300 gallons of ammonia, so...
Quote from: Xaz on April 13, 2017, 10:27:38 AM
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 13, 2017, 02:13:07 AM
... discovered why she's crazy. She's a dataist.
I had to give that a double-take.
Glad things are looking up for you Roger. Sounds like they're going to shit for everyone else but hey.
On a local level, things are fine. Even old boss is landing okay.
I am hardly responsible for the entire world, though.
It turns out you can run the entire utility plant from a smartphone.
Which is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard of. A triumph of technology over brains.
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 15, 2017, 02:56:20 AM
It turns out you can run the entire utility plant from a smartphone.
Which is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard of. A triumph of technology over brains.
Especially with the things you mentioned earlier about not getting correct data because derp in the first place right?
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 15, 2017, 02:56:20 AM
It turns out you can run the entire utility plant from a smartphone.
Which is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard of. A triumph of technology over brains.
So, wait, you have an app for 40 foot poop geysers? You must be in heaven :lulz:
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on April 16, 2017, 08:16:42 AM
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 15, 2017, 02:56:20 AM
It turns out you can run the entire utility plant from a smartphone.
Which is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard of. A triumph of technology over brains.
So, wait, you have an app for 40 foot poop geysers? You must be in heaven :lulz:
More to the point, an ex-employee could close valves, turn off chillers, etc from outside, and we'd never know who did it.
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 16, 2017, 05:39:59 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on April 16, 2017, 08:16:42 AM
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 15, 2017, 02:56:20 AM
It turns out you can run the entire utility plant from a smartphone.
Which is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard of. A triumph of technology over brains.
So, wait, you have an app for 40 foot poop geysers? You must be in heaven :lulz:
More to the point, an ex-employee could close valves, turn off chillers, etc from outside, and we'd never know who did it.
So... they use a garage door opener without even basic security that any phone can operate from anywhere for the vital functions of a multimillion dollar research facility and rely entirely on "security through obscurity"... fucking wow.
This just to be more convenient?
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 16, 2017, 05:39:59 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on April 16, 2017, 08:16:42 AM
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 15, 2017, 02:56:20 AM
It turns out you can run the entire utility plant from a smartphone.
Which is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard of. A triumph of technology over brains.
So, wait, you have an app for 40 foot poop geysers? You must be in heaven :lulz:
More to the point, an ex-employee could close valves, turn off chillers, etc from outside, and we'd never know who did it.
:lulz:
That's an amazing system.
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on April 16, 2017, 05:55:02 PM
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 16, 2017, 05:39:59 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on April 16, 2017, 08:16:42 AM
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 15, 2017, 02:56:20 AM
It turns out you can run the entire utility plant from a smartphone.
Which is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard of. A triumph of technology over brains.
So, wait, you have an app for 40 foot poop geysers? You must be in heaven :lulz:
More to the point, an ex-employee could close valves, turn off chillers, etc from outside, and we'd never know who did it.
So... they use a garage door opener without even basic security that any phone can operate from anywhere for the vital functions of a multimillion dollar research facility and rely entirely on "security through obscurity"... fucking wow.
This just to be more convenient?
They have to have a VPN set up, but if you have one, it's not hard to clone it.
Quote from: Junkenstein on April 16, 2017, 06:13:35 PM
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 16, 2017, 05:39:59 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on April 16, 2017, 08:16:42 AM
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 15, 2017, 02:56:20 AM
It turns out you can run the entire utility plant from a smartphone.
Which is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard of. A triumph of technology over brains.
So, wait, you have an app for 40 foot poop geysers? You must be in heaven :lulz:
More to the point, an ex-employee could close valves, turn off chillers, etc from outside, and we'd never know who did it.
:lulz:
That's an amazing system.
We are amazing people and if you ever get a vacation, you should come over and see for yourself.
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 16, 2017, 10:17:53 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on April 16, 2017, 05:55:02 PM
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 16, 2017, 05:39:59 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on April 16, 2017, 08:16:42 AM
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 15, 2017, 02:56:20 AM
It turns out you can run the entire utility plant from a smartphone.
Which is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard of. A triumph of technology over brains.
So, wait, you have an app for 40 foot poop geysers? You must be in heaven :lulz:
More to the point, an ex-employee could close valves, turn off chillers, etc from outside, and we'd never know who did it.
So... they use a garage door opener without even basic security that any phone can operate from anywhere for the vital functions of a multimillion dollar research facility and rely entirely on "security through obscurity"... fucking wow.
This just to be more convenient?
They have to have a VPN set up, but if you have one, it's not hard to clone it.
So like a couple levels of computer operation skill, to gamerspeak it, and a special program but no actual crypto signal or password? Good thing they have a nice, stable office environment and a loyal base of lawful good employees.
:lulz: I still remember the hireling flounce system you wrote up.
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 16, 2017, 10:18:33 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on April 16, 2017, 06:13:35 PM
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 16, 2017, 05:39:59 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on April 16, 2017, 08:16:42 AM
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 15, 2017, 02:56:20 AM
It turns out you can run the entire utility plant from a smartphone.
Which is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard of. A triumph of technology over brains.
So, wait, you have an app for 40 foot poop geysers? You must be in heaven :lulz:
More to the point, an ex-employee could close valves, turn off chillers, etc from outside, and we'd never know who did it.
:lulz:
That's an amazing system.
We are amazing people and if you ever get a vacation, you should come over and see for yourself.
Two things are preventing this, the first is a high chance of spontaneous combustion and the second is the significant chance I may not be allowed to leave. Ever.
Quote from: Junkenstein on April 16, 2017, 11:02:18 PM
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 16, 2017, 10:18:33 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on April 16, 2017, 06:13:35 PM
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 16, 2017, 05:39:59 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on April 16, 2017, 08:16:42 AM
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 15, 2017, 02:56:20 AM
It turns out you can run the entire utility plant from a smartphone.
Which is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard of. A triumph of technology over brains.
So, wait, you have an app for 40 foot poop geysers? You must be in heaven :lulz:
More to the point, an ex-employee could close valves, turn off chillers, etc from outside, and we'd never know who did it.
:lulz:
That's an amazing system.
We are amazing people and if you ever get a vacation, you should come over and see for yourself.
Two things are preventing this, the first is a high chance of spontaneous combustion and the second is the significant chance I may not be allowed to leave. Ever.
Why would you
want to?
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on April 16, 2017, 10:44:11 PM
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 16, 2017, 10:17:53 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on April 16, 2017, 05:55:02 PM
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 16, 2017, 05:39:59 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on April 16, 2017, 08:16:42 AM
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 15, 2017, 02:56:20 AM
It turns out you can run the entire utility plant from a smartphone.
Which is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard of. A triumph of technology over brains.
So, wait, you have an app for 40 foot poop geysers? You must be in heaven :lulz:
More to the point, an ex-employee could close valves, turn off chillers, etc from outside, and we'd never know who did it.
So... they use a garage door opener without even basic security that any phone can operate from anywhere for the vital functions of a multimillion dollar research facility and rely entirely on "security through obscurity"... fucking wow.
This just to be more convenient?
They have to have a VPN set up, but if you have one, it's not hard to clone it.
So like a couple levels of computer operation skill, to gamerspeak it, and a special program but no actual crypto signal or password? Good thing they have a nice, stable office environment and a loyal base of lawful good employees.
:lulz: I still remember the hireling flounce system you wrote up.
But this system is necessary, because people have to have TOTAL ACCESS or they're not really important.
Test post because "message body left empty" warning when message body field was not in fact empty.
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on April 17, 2017, 12:49:47 AM
Test post because "message body left empty" warning when message body field was not in fact empty.
Attempt to re-post original reply.
... failed.
Attempt to re-post original reply portion only.
Quote
Right without all those sweaty plebian activities like walking and opening access hatches, or taking readings and manually PUSHING BUTTONS. The advanced primate has no need for such base concerns.
I dislike technology some days. :|
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on April 17, 2017, 12:49:47 AM
Test post because "message body left empty" warning when message body field was not in fact empty.
Happening to me too. Rather odd.
[/quote]
Why would you want to?
[/quote]
Considering that I'd probably be under the care of Sherrif Joe shortly after I appear, "want" may not come into it.
Seriously, I doubt I could last 30 days in AZ without jail being on the cards given how I usually behave.
And what the fuck is this empty field shit? getting that too.
Seems to be something to do with the quote function?
Quote from: Junkenstein on April 17, 2017, 01:10:07 AM
Seems to be something to do with the quote function?
Yeah, but here I'm quoting you just fine
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 15, 2017, 02:56:20 AM
It turns out you can run the entire utility plant from a smartphone.
Which is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard of. A triumph of technology over brains.
Testing Captain Pike
When I tried to reply to the message string that I originally experienced the problem with it happened again. Weird as fuck.
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on April 17, 2017, 01:23:25 AM
Quote from: Junkenstein on April 17, 2017, 01:10:07 AM
Seems to be something to do with the quote function?
Yeah, but here I'm quoting you just fine
But can I quote you quoting me?
eta - yes.
Quote from: Junkenstein on April 17, 2017, 01:33:25 AM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on April 17, 2017, 01:23:25 AM
Quote from: Junkenstein on April 17, 2017, 01:10:07 AM
Seems to be something to do with the quote function?
Yeah, but here I'm quoting you just fine
But can I quote you quoting me?
eta - yes.
Can I quote you noting that you quoted me quoting you... yes.
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on April 17, 2017, 12:53:00 AM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on April 17, 2017, 12:49:47 AM
Test post because "message body left empty" warning when message body field was not in fact empty.
Attempt to re-post original reply.
... failed.
Attempt to re-post original reply portion only.
Quote
Right without all those sweaty plebian activities like walking and opening access hatches, or taking readings and manually PUSHING BUTTONS. The advanced primate has no need for such base concerns.
Point of order: If there's only one guy present, he should in fact rely on automatics.
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 17, 2017, 04:01:03 AM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on April 17, 2017, 12:53:00 AM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on April 17, 2017, 12:49:47 AM
Test post because "message body left empty" warning when message body field was not in fact empty.
Attempt to re-post original reply.
... failed.
Attempt to re-post original reply portion only.
Quote
Right without all those sweaty plebian activities like walking and opening access hatches, or taking readings and manually PUSHING BUTTONS. The advanced primate has no need for such base concerns.
Point of order: If there's only one guy present, he should in fact rely on automatics.
I have absolutely no idea what you mean by automatics. Really. :?
Why would you want to?
[/quote]
Considering that I'd probably be under the care of Sherrif Joe shortly after I appear, "want" may not come into it.
Seriously, I doubt I could last 30 days in AZ without jail being on the cards given how I usually behave.
And what the fuck is this empty field shit? getting that too.
[/quote]
Sheriff Joe is gone. He got chased out of town a month ago.
And in Tucson, English behavior only stands out a mild bit. We're crawling in Brits, actually, they've even taken to the Mexican soccer leagues.
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on April 17, 2017, 07:31:24 AM
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 17, 2017, 04:01:03 AM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on April 17, 2017, 12:53:00 AM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on April 17, 2017, 12:49:47 AM
Test post because "message body left empty" warning when message body field was not in fact empty.
Attempt to re-post original reply.
... failed.
Attempt to re-post original reply portion only.
Quote
Right without all those sweaty plebian activities like walking and opening access hatches, or taking readings and manually PUSHING BUTTONS. The advanced primate has no need for such base concerns.
Point of order: If there's only one guy present, he should in fact rely on automatics.
I have absolutely no idea what you mean by automatics. Really. :?
Pressure reaches X, valve Y opens. If valve Y does not open, an alarm sounds and the operator engages valve Z, etc.
Anyway, shitpocalypse delayed at the last minute because division vice president is here next week and she wants to see it.
I have nerd blueballs.
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 18, 2017, 01:47:47 AM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on April 17, 2017, 07:31:24 AM
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 17, 2017, 04:01:03 AM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on April 17, 2017, 12:53:00 AM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on April 17, 2017, 12:49:47 AM
Test post because "message body left empty" warning when message body field was not in fact empty.
Attempt to re-post original reply.
... failed.
Attempt to re-post original reply portion only.
Quote
Right without all those sweaty plebian activities like walking and opening access hatches, or taking readings and manually PUSHING BUTTONS. The advanced primate has no need for such base concerns.
Point of order: If there's only one guy present, he should in fact rely on automatics.
I have absolutely no idea what you mean by automatics. Really. :?
Pressure reaches X, valve Y opens. If valve Y does not open, an alarm sounds and the operator engages valve Z, etc.
Oh.. you mean the system. I had a brainfart.
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 18, 2017, 01:46:53 AM
Why would you want to?
Considering that I'd probably be under the care of Sherrif Joe shortly after I appear, "want" may not come into it.
Seriously, I doubt I could last 30 days in AZ without jail being on the cards given how I usually behave.
And what the fuck is this empty field shit? getting that too.
[/quote]
Sheriff Joe is gone. He got chased out of town a month ago.
And in Tucson, English behavior only stands out a mild bit. We're crawling in Brits, actually, they've even taken to the Mexican soccer leagues.
[/quote]
Shit, really? That's almost a shame in a way. The same way unused nuclear ordnance is a shame, but still.
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 18, 2017, 01:49:00 AM
Anyway, shitpocalypse delayed at the last minute because division vice president is here next week and she wants to see it.
I have nerd blueballs.
Have patience and keep the faith. It won't be for long.
Quote from: Junkenstein on April 18, 2017, 01:39:50 PM
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 18, 2017, 01:49:00 AM
Anyway, shitpocalypse delayed at the last minute because division vice president is here next week and she wants to see it.
I have nerd blueballs.
Have patience and keep the faith. It won't be for long.
VIP in attendance? I'd be pushing for at least half a dozen test fountains just to make sure it all goes perfectly for the bigwigs :evil:
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on April 18, 2017, 03:44:07 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on April 18, 2017, 01:39:50 PM
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 18, 2017, 01:49:00 AM
Anyway, shitpocalypse delayed at the last minute because division vice president is here next week and she wants to see it.
I have nerd blueballs.
Have patience and keep the faith. It won't be for long.
VIP in attendance? I'd be pushing for at least half a dozen test fountains just to make sure it all goes perfectly for onto the bigwigs :evil:
FTFY, but I'm sure that's what you meant anyway.
At what point does billing 30 days of power to a single 2 acre building at 500,000,000,000 BTU per day seem like real life instead of a meter problem?
I'm just curious, here. That's a 126 kt atomic bomb going off at 8 AM every single morning for 3 months and nobody noticed.
Quote from: Junkenstein on April 18, 2017, 01:39:50 PM
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 18, 2017, 01:49:00 AM
Anyway, shitpocalypse delayed at the last minute because division vice president is here next week and she wants to see it.
I have nerd blueballs.
Have patience and keep the faith. It won't be for long.
YES IT FUCKING WILL. THEY HAVE TAKEN OUR PROCESS AND METHODOLOGY AND GIVEN IT TO SOME "CHEMISTS" JUST BECAUSE THEY HAVE "DEGREES" AND "DECADES OF EXPERIENCE."
Probably shouldn't have mentioned the estimated chloramine release. :rogpipe:
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 19, 2017, 01:14:41 AM
At what point does billing 30 days of power to a single 2 acre building at 500,000,000,000 BTU per day seem like real life instead of a meter problem?
I'm just curious, here. That's a 126 kt atomic bomb going off at 8 AM every single morning for 3 months and nobody noticed.
Odd that the power provider didn't notice... fraud maybe?
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on April 19, 2017, 02:54:15 AM
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 19, 2017, 01:14:41 AM
At what point does billing 30 days of power to a single 2 acre building at 500,000,000,000 BTU per day seem like real life instead of a meter problem?
I'm just curious, here. That's a 126 kt atomic bomb going off at 8 AM every single morning for 3 months and nobody noticed.
Odd that the power provider didn't notice... fraud maybe?
It's more that a meter was broken.
I know that feels like the universe cheated us, and it did, but facts are facts.
So, my boss's last day was today. New boss and corporate guy have said I'm getting the plant (which pays an ass-ton of money and is what I do best), and also that as of today, the HSE supervisor reports to me. She is in charge of - among other things - the site police force. They are real police, with the power to arrest and cite, who answer to the county in terms of accountability.
So I have my own police force.
I know how this ends, of course. I will be shot, eaten by an alien, or dropped off of a building before the end of the movie. I am okay with that. I am 169% committed to Sparkle Motion, and I am all about having a good time at the expense of my future.
The only question is, do I become corrupt immediately, or become *absolutely* corrupt immediately?
Well you can't half-ass this sort of thing. You know this is truly a once in a life-time opportunity, I can read it in your pixels.
TO THE WALL, as you say. Make them either regret handing you the keys to boundless power or grateful it didn't go quite as horribly awry as it /could/ have. Or both, in alternating churns of the stomach, like they ate a sandwich that got left outside at high noon in your corner of hell and now their abdominal wall is the only thing between it and FREEDOM.
Quote from: 00.dusk on April 22, 2017, 01:41:11 AM
Well you can't half-ass this sort of thing. You know this is truly a once in a life-time opportunity, I can read it in your pixels.
TO THE WALL, as you say. Make them either regret handing you the keys to boundless power or grateful it didn't go quite as horribly awry as it /could/ have. Or both, in alternating churns of the stomach, like they ate a sandwich that got left outside at high noon in your corner of hell and now their abdominal wall is the only thing between it and FREEDOM.
I don't know that it's
possible to horrify this company. They make Halliburton blush.
But I shall do my best.
I dunno. The movie could have a cool plot twist that, as the last ambulance drives away, it suddenly becomes clear that the world is a fundamentally better place now, despite all the blood.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 22, 2017, 01:34:13 AM
So, my boss's last day was today. New boss and corporate guy have said I'm getting the plant (which pays an ass-ton of money and is what I do best), and also that as of today, the HSE supervisor reports to me. She is in charge of - among other things - the site police force. They are real police, with the power to arrest and cite, who answer to the county in terms of accountability.
So I have my own police force.
I know how this ends, of course. I will be shot, eaten by an alien, or dropped off of a building before the end of the movie. I am okay with that. I am 169% committed to Sparkle Motion, and I am all about having a good time at the expense of my future.
The only question is, do I become corrupt immediately, or become *absolutely* corrupt immediately?
Oh sweet fuck.
The only remaining question is how corrupt is the police unit already?
Eta- I'd expect "moderately" and assume this can be raised to "totally" with cheap incentives. A pay for promotion scheme should do the trick nicely.
Quote from: LMNO on April 23, 2017, 02:48:22 PM
I dunno. The movie could have a cool plot twist that, as the last ambulance drives away, it suddenly becomes clear that the world is a fundamentally better place now, despite all the blood.
Can't get much worse. :lulz:
So, our utilities, etc, report through a chain of programs, like so:
Meter A ---> Reading software address A ---> database location A ---> billing software Report A
Meter B ---> Reading software address B ---> database location B ---> billing software Report B
etc
HOWEVER, due to be constantly interrupted, the programmer did stuff like this:
Meter A ---> Reading software address A ---> database location A ---> billing software Report A
Meter A ---> Reading software address B ---> database location B ---> billing software Report B
etc
So I have this vast river of data, and I just learned I can't trust any of it. :lulz:
Everyone is panicking and hollering solutions that make no sense, so tomorrow I asked new boss lady to schedule a meeting for everyone except me and IT guy (not the guy that transposed things, that's a contractor), and he and I are going to map out all of the meters that have been changed, verify the addressing, and fix it over the next few days. The problem is new enough that the reading software that hasn't reported should still have all of the missing data in its buffer. This is fixable if everyone in the lifeboat doesn't try dancing the Charleston at the same time.
Quote from: Junkenstein on April 23, 2017, 03:49:54 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 22, 2017, 01:34:13 AM
So, my boss's last day was today. New boss and corporate guy have said I'm getting the plant (which pays an ass-ton of money and is what I do best), and also that as of today, the HSE supervisor reports to me. She is in charge of - among other things - the site police force. They are real police, with the power to arrest and cite, who answer to the county in terms of accountability.
So I have my own police force.
I know how this ends, of course. I will be shot, eaten by an alien, or dropped off of a building before the end of the movie. I am okay with that. I am 169% committed to Sparkle Motion, and I am all about having a good time at the expense of my future.
The only question is, do I become corrupt immediately, or become *absolutely* corrupt immediately?
Oh sweet fuck.
The only remaining question is how corrupt is the police unit already?
Eta- I'd expect "moderately" and assume this can be raised to "totally" with cheap incentives. A pay for promotion scheme should do the trick nicely.
They aren't corrupt at all and I find that adorable.
Data problem fixed.
Root cause of failure: Autocorrect. Not even joking.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Tell no-one for at least 3 days. You're going to be like a mini messiah to them for being able to figure this crap out.
Quote from: Junkenstein on April 26, 2017, 12:51:00 AM
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Tell no-one for at least 3 days. You're going to be like a mini messiah to them for being able to figure this crap out.
:lulz:
New boss: "Have you ever done the job you were hired to do?"
Roger: "I can if you like."
New Boss: "No, you should keep fixing shit."
I'm starting to envy you. I've just had a client ask me, with a straight face, if it is OK for them to break the law. Not even one of those "break the law and take the fine, we save more that way" breaks, a full on "Let's do this thing and all go to jail" breaks.
No. No it is not. And my rates have just increased.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2017, 12:42:52 AM
Data problem fixed.
Root cause of failure: Autocorrect. Not even joking.
It sounded like a fun one. I was trying to figure out how you could disentangle the data in the shower earlier, like if the two data sets were dissimilar enough you could use upper and lower boundings or if it was periodic time series and both were out of sync could isolate them that way.
Quote from: Junkenstein on April 26, 2017, 12:17:13 PM
I'm starting to envy you. I've just had a client ask me, with a straight face, if it is OK for them to break the law. Not even one of those "break the law and take the fine, we save more that way" breaks, a full on "Let's do this thing and all go to jail" breaks.
No. No it is not. And my rates have just increased.
This is the correct answer. It's really all they understand.
Quote from: Faust on April 26, 2017, 10:48:03 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2017, 12:42:52 AM
Data problem fixed.
Root cause of failure: Autocorrect. Not even joking.
It sounded like a fun one. I was trying to figure out how you could disentangle the data in the shower earlier, like if the two data sets were dissimilar enough you could use upper and lower boundings or if it was periodic time series and both were out of sync could isolate them that way.
What we did was go though every single field, one at a time, checking where the data was being taken.
Two "gas meters" were actually pressure transducers ("Heat a massive building for $16 a month with this one simple trick!), and the rest were autofills that entered the location of the last location entered.
All the billable stuff is done. Next are the water treatment plants and the plant proper. Shouldn't take more than 4 months. :lulz:
I got the plant.
:hammer:
And there you have it: Utopia starts in the greater Tucson area.
Whooda thunk?
Quote from: LMNO on April 28, 2017, 01:44:37 AM
And there you have it: Utopia starts in the greater Tucson area.
Whooda thunk?
The money is fantastic, but what's really got me feeling excited is that the entire management team and the operators had all endorsed it.
So far no assholes, either. I keep thinking the other shoe is gonna drop.
And it's not so much utopia as monetizing the end of the world.
Um, so yeah. Utopia. :lulz:
You need a computer guy, right?
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 28, 2017, 02:35:20 AM
And it's not so much utopia as monetizing the end of the world.
Um, so yeah. Utopia. :lulz:
Monetize the eschaton!!
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on April 28, 2017, 11:53:05 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 28, 2017, 02:35:20 AM
And it's not so much utopia as monetizing the end of the world.
Um, so yeah. Utopia. :lulz:
Monetize the eschaton!!
That's gotta be a fucking meme. QG, your skills are needed!
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 28, 2017, 02:35:20 AM
And it's not so much utopia as monetizing the end of the world.
Um, so yeah. Utopia. :lulz:
Hey, it works for the oil industry.
Quote from: tyrannosaurus vex on April 28, 2017, 06:55:02 AM
You need a computer guy, right?
I have a computer guy. He's adorable. He is a very confused conservative. He voted for Trump, and Trump won, but then it turns out the billionaire isn't actually on his side, and is happily selling him and everyone he knows to Wall Street. He honestly can't get his head around it, and now he's questioning whether or not conservativism is actually functional. Imagine a libertarian who bounces off of reality, and then questions his beliefs instead of reality. Like I said, adorable.
Also, like many IT guys, he is more or less self-educated in his field. He's pretty fucking good, but he has gaps in his knowledge. Delta programming controls had him terrified, then I pointed out that it's
basic, from like 1990, with a few syntax quirks. BAM. Shit's getting done.
However, we
are in the market for my old job slot, which is a combination facilities coordinator/analyst. 80% keeping contractors on their jobs, 20% wading through data. There doesn't seem to be any actual work involved.
If you get the job, we can sit around figuring out how shit falls apart,
and get paid for it.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 29, 2017, 03:33:13 AM
Quote from: tyrannosaurus vex on April 28, 2017, 06:55:02 AM
You need a computer guy, right?
I have a computer guy. He's adorable. He is a very confused conservative. He voted for Trump, and Trump won, but then it turns out the billionaire isn't actually on his side, and is happily selling him and everyone he knows to Wall Street. He honestly can't get his head around it, and now he's questioning whether or not conservativism is actually functional. Imagine a libertarian who bounces off of reality, and then questions his beliefs instead of reality. Like I said, adorable.
Also, like many IT guys, he is more or less self-educated in his field. He's pretty fucking good, but he has gaps in his knowledge. Delta programming controls had him terrified, then I pointed out that it's basic, from like 1990, with a few syntax quirks. BAM. Shit's getting done.
However, we are in the market for my old job slot, which is a combination facilities coordinator/analyst. 80% keeping contractors on their jobs, 20% wading through data. There doesn't seem to be any actual work involved.
If you get the job, we can sit around figuring out how shit falls apart, and get paid for it.
Well, that's a job I could probably do, but not a screening process or an interview I could pass, unfortunately.
Quote from: tyrannosaurus vex on April 29, 2017, 03:41:07 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 29, 2017, 03:33:13 AM
Quote from: tyrannosaurus vex on April 28, 2017, 06:55:02 AM
You need a computer guy, right?
I have a computer guy. He's adorable. He is a very confused conservative. He voted for Trump, and Trump won, but then it turns out the billionaire isn't actually on his side, and is happily selling him and everyone he knows to Wall Street. He honestly can't get his head around it, and now he's questioning whether or not conservativism is actually functional. Imagine a libertarian who bounces off of reality, and then questions his beliefs instead of reality. Like I said, adorable.
Also, like many IT guys, he is more or less self-educated in his field. He's pretty fucking good, but he has gaps in his knowledge. Delta programming controls had him terrified, then I pointed out that it's basic, from like 1990, with a few syntax quirks. BAM. Shit's getting done.
However, we are in the market for my old job slot, which is a combination facilities coordinator/analyst. 80% keeping contractors on their jobs, 20% wading through data. There doesn't seem to be any actual work involved.
If you get the job, we can sit around figuring out how shit falls apart, and get paid for it.
Well, that's a job I could probably do, but not a screening process or an interview I could pass, unfortunately.
Why not? I did. :lulz:
Also, the only bad thing about getting the plant is that I no longer have the police under my purview. :sad:
Urge to apply rising.
I'm just curious to see how this goes after a few years and almost horrormirthy in that I'm glad you got lucrative employment and status, but the horror bit is in that you will now have notable time, cash, and industrial/scientific influence. Whenever you get to exoskeletal power armor levels of fuckoff money I'm just hoping you become the basis for several new civil statutes.
Memo to crew #1:
If a high-speed automatic rolling door keeps re-opening halfway through closing because the safety interlocks are malfunctioning, it is not okay to disable the safety interlocks. While we all agree that people are generally a bad thing, slicing them in half would impact the profit margin.
Memo to crew #2: A chiller missing 2100 pounds of freon might need some investigating. Just saying.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 02, 2017, 12:59:48 AM
Memo to crew #2: A chiller missing 2100 pounds of freon might need some investigating. Just saying.
Too busy to bother? Places to go, things to do, people to bisect?
That kind of thing?
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 02, 2017, 12:59:48 AM
Memo to crew #2: A chiller missing 2100 pounds of freon might need some investigating. Just saying.
And also some freon.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 02, 2017, 12:59:48 AM
Memo to crew #2: A chiller missing 2100 pounds of freon might need some investigating. Just saying.
Jesus wept. How was this not noticed?
And how big is that thing?
Quote from: Junkenstein on May 03, 2017, 01:23:29 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 02, 2017, 12:59:48 AM
Memo to crew #2: A chiller missing 2100 pounds of freon might need some investigating. Just saying.
Jesus wept. How was this not noticed?
And how big is that thing?
We have 4 chillers that are roughly the size of an 18 wheeler trailer.
And it was noticed finally because it started sounding like it had gravel bouncing around in it, there was so much air being drawn in.
Memo #3: If it looks like instrumentation, it's instrumentation. If it looks like something else, it's 90% likely to still be instrumentation.
Next bad science project Dave and I have been handed is data infrastructure collapse. At what point does miniaturization of electronics - combined with traffic - overload the error-correcting firmware that prevents random bit-flipping (by background radiation, etc)?
We are of course not expected to answer this myself. We're supposed to nominate a team of experts that will answer it.
So I told them to get one electronic engineer and a couple of epidemiologists. This was questioned, but it's a propagation problem, and epidemiologists are the correct type of mathematician for this, I think.
Dave is panicking because he's an environmental engineer and this isn't about water. But I'm starting to believe that problem solving isn't based on any one discipline, but instead on finding the right discipline for the job and then, unreasonably, letting them do their work. What he isn't seeing is that this isn't about he and I answering problems, but instead getting the answers and then distributing them.
Plus maybe we help some grad students with their advanced degrees and also with the whole starving to death thing.
"Okay, we have the water system under control so long as it doesn't rain. In Arizona. Out of season."
Ha. Hahaha. AHAHAHAHAHA.
*sky immediately turns black and pisses hate down for 3 hours, flooding out our system*
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 09, 2017, 01:12:22 AM
"Okay, we have the water system under control so long as it doesn't rain. In Arizona. Out of season."
Ha. Hahaha. AHAHAHAHAHA.
*sky immediately turns black and pisses hate down for 3 hours, flooding out our system*
And every now and then clearly the cosmos is pissing in your Cheerios specifically.
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on May 10, 2017, 12:49:34 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 09, 2017, 01:12:22 AM
"Okay, we have the water system under control so long as it doesn't rain. In Arizona. Out of season."
Ha. Hahaha. AHAHAHAHAHA.
*sky immediately turns black and pisses hate down for 3 hours, flooding out our system*
And every now and then clearly the cosmos is pissing in your Cheerios specifically.
Who puts a tank in a pit?
Can't ship water to the SWTP or they'll overflow and put shit on dirt. Which is really, really bad. So the rain hasn't stopped, and the pit is flooding, but the tank is empty. The obvious result is gonna happen, and Pete asks me "do we ship water"?
No. We do not. We do many things, but we do not put shit on dirt.
And the empty tank tears loose of it's piping and pops out of the pit like Goddamn Shamu. My boss calls me to start the incident investigation, and says "Don't worry about it. You did the exact right thing, and I am sure the EPA guy will agree. Also, did anyone film it, because I really want to see it."
Have I mentioned that she's an even better boss than Jim? I didn't imagine that was possible, but she is.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 10, 2017, 03:38:43 AM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on May 10, 2017, 12:49:34 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 09, 2017, 01:12:22 AM
"Okay, we have the water system under control so long as it doesn't rain. In Arizona. Out of season."
Ha. Hahaha. AHAHAHAHAHA.
*sky immediately turns black and pisses hate down for 3 hours, flooding out our system*
And every now and then clearly the cosmos is pissing in your Cheerios specifically.
Who puts a tank in a pit?
Can't ship water to the SWTP or they'll overflow and put shit on dirt. Which is really, really bad. So the rain hasn't stopped, and the pit is flooding, but the tank is empty. The obvious result is gonna happen, and Pete asks me "do we ship water"?
No. We do not. We do many things, but we do not put shit on dirt.
And the empty tank tears loose of it's piping and pops out of the pit like Goddamn Shamu. My boss calls me to start the incident investigation, and says "Don't worry about it. You did the exact right thing, and I am sure the EPA guy will agree. Also, did anyone film it, because I really want to see it."
Have I mentioned that she's an even better boss than Jim? I didn't imagine that was possible, but she is.
By putting shit on dirt do you mean pumping raw sewage onto the ground to sit and bake in the Arizona sun after the rain stops? Or is it more like industrial waste?
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on May 10, 2017, 03:47:48 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 10, 2017, 03:38:43 AM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on May 10, 2017, 12:49:34 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 09, 2017, 01:12:22 AM
"Okay, we have the water system under control so long as it doesn't rain. In Arizona. Out of season."
Ha. Hahaha. AHAHAHAHAHA.
*sky immediately turns black and pisses hate down for 3 hours, flooding out our system*
And every now and then clearly the cosmos is pissing in your Cheerios specifically.
Who puts a tank in a pit?
Can't ship water to the SWTP or they'll overflow and put shit on dirt. Which is really, really bad. So the rain hasn't stopped, and the pit is flooding, but the tank is empty. The obvious result is gonna happen, and Pete asks me "do we ship water"?
No. We do not. We do many things, but we do not put shit on dirt.
And the empty tank tears loose of it's piping and pops out of the pit like Goddamn Shamu. My boss calls me to start the incident investigation, and says "Don't worry about it. You did the exact right thing, and I am sure the EPA guy will agree. Also, did anyone film it, because I really want to see it."
Have I mentioned that she's an even better boss than Jim? I didn't imagine that was possible, but she is.
By putting shit on dirt do you mean pumping raw sewage onto the ground to sit and bake in the Arizona sun after the rain stops? Or is it more like industrial waste?
I mean the sewer treatment plant would overflow and literally put human shit on dirt. This is generally considered a bad thing by the county and state regulatory folks.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 10, 2017, 03:51:21 AM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on May 10, 2017, 03:47:48 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 10, 2017, 03:38:43 AM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on May 10, 2017, 12:49:34 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 09, 2017, 01:12:22 AM
"Okay, we have the water system under control so long as it doesn't rain. In Arizona. Out of season."
Ha. Hahaha. AHAHAHAHAHA.
*sky immediately turns black and pisses hate down for 3 hours, flooding out our system*
And every now and then clearly the cosmos is pissing in your Cheerios specifically.
Who puts a tank in a pit?
Can't ship water to the SWTP or they'll overflow and put shit on dirt. Which is really, really bad. So the rain hasn't stopped, and the pit is flooding, but the tank is empty. The obvious result is gonna happen, and Pete asks me "do we ship water"?
No. We do not. We do many things, but we do not put shit on dirt.
And the empty tank tears loose of it's piping and pops out of the pit like Goddamn Shamu. My boss calls me to start the incident investigation, and says "Don't worry about it. You did the exact right thing, and I am sure the EPA guy will agree. Also, did anyone film it, because I really want to see it."
Have I mentioned that she's an even better boss than Jim? I didn't imagine that was possible, but she is.
By putting shit on dirt do you mean pumping raw sewage onto the ground to sit and bake in the Arizona sun after the rain stops? Or is it more like industrial waste?
I mean the sewer treatment plant would overflow and literally put human shit on dirt. This is generally considered a bad thing by the county and state regulatory folks.
Also regular folks.
I'm not sure what to make of the timing, but I'm starting to get the feeling that Murphy's law requires some sort of modification to the effect of "yes the worst thing that can go wrong will go wrong barring Roger's Intervention acting not so much on the risk equation but on the jumpy primates freaking out thinking that they can make things "better" or "fix" them and thus fucking things up more, or factor H. You not only called it you kept the panicky reaction of your coworker contained.
Had a lonnnnng meeting with a vendor today. I spent the first half hour designing a SCADA report that would measure the cortisol level in my blood1 and set off a whoopie light whenever I'm about to hulk out. Because I'm socially-conscious that way.
1 I had to sort of assume a set of values for the device measuring the cortisol, because I don't understand biology very well.
Reasons Donna is an even better boss than Jim #1: Pissing Jim off was funny, but when you get all weird at Donna, she just runs it back at you. Example:
Me: We really need a site truck.
Donna: Why?
Me: For town runs and because the wells are 4 miles away and it's not actually legal to drive the carts to them.
Donna: Okay. *turns to her computer, orders a pickup truck*
Glenn: Was it that easy?
Donna: Yep. Toolbox?
Me: Yes.
Donna: Anything else?
Me: I'd like hydraulics to make the ass drop.
Glenn: And a bumpin' stereo.
Donna: Sorry, guys, there's no line item for "the caws that go boom."
Glenn and I: "BEST BOSS EVER!"
Donna: Get back to work.
I just need to know which one of you is Tigra, and which one is Bunny.
Quote from: LMNO on May 25, 2017, 12:49:02 PM
I just need to know which one of you is Tigra, and which one is Bunny.
I think I have to admit that Glen is Tigra, much as I'd like to say otherwise. :lulz: