Messages

16

Aneristic Illusions / Re: They're coming for you.

« on: January 01, 2023, 04:10:00 am »

Something it's worth keeping in mind in the UK:

Our self defence laws are not as clearly defined as many other countries.

Essentially, a major factor in whether the force used to defend yourself is 'proportional' is whether you do what is 'honestly and instinctively necessary' to do so.

Carrying something which is then used as a weapon opens the door for the police to decide that you were not acting instinctively; you were carrying a weapon with the premeditated desire to use it, at which point they may decide that you rather than or as well as your assailant have a case to answer.

This is obviously a very wooly area but particularly as a marginalised person in the UK it is worth being aware of the risks of going armed, even though theoretically it is legal to carry a knife under three inches in length, a sturdy walking stick etc. The authorities do not tend to extend the benefit of the doubt to our communities, regardless of what guidelines say.

I am emphatically not advising that we should disarm ourselves. By the time it gets to court it is highly likely that cases such as this will be thrown out - but it is also fair to say that UK prisons are not a kind place for many people even for very short stays and that limiting contact with the police altogether is often the best advice when looking to keep yourself safe.

I am saying though that if you are preparing for situations where you may be forced to defend yourself it is also important to consider how the police will view the methods used (likely in the most uncharitable light possible) and how much effort they will want to put into talking to you after the fact when you have successfully gotten yourself to safety.

Nothing a roll of coins in a tube sock can't solve. Keep both socks in your bag with you at all times. And another roll or two of coins. You now have evidence it wasn't premeditated. You were going to the bank to cash in your change, and like to keep extra socks on you just in case it rains.

Here, I recommend keeping a baseball bat in your car, along with a glove and a ball or two. You were on your way to batting practice.

17

Or Kill Me / Re: Who takes care of the caretaker?

« on: January 01, 2023, 12:43:11 am »

It tastes like wanting to feel better as a child.

Ah, yeah. For me that would be metallic Hawaiian Punch from a can. It's all "I don't have to go to school and Mom will fetch me anything I need." It's just sugar water and dye and fake flavoring. Quite possibly worse than Campbell's. But if they still put it in cans I'd probably keep some on hand for sick days.

I get it, but it's not nutrient dense. He consumed enough calories for the day at breakfast and lunch, not including snacks and dinner. I am no longer fucking around and he is no longer allowed to complain.

It sounds like nobody's at "Let him do what he wants." So there's that. It's not much but it's something.

Honestly I seriously thought he was starting to give up this go. When he told me he was starting to see things and that he no longer had a center or bearings of "up" and "down", I was fucking terrified it was in his brain. This type of cancer very rarely metastasizes to the brain but it would be my overachieving husband to pull it off. All scans were clear, and nutrition was like, 'TOLD YOU SO'. I wasn't read the riot act or anything, but now he's learning the importance of calories. I make sure he has his daily intake by lunch, anything after that is to gain weight.

This chemo is a fucking cruel beast, though, so while he got to skip this round, he still needs more. That was only round 3 of this new line. Round 3. Out of a potential 12. He should have finished his first line by now but it stopped working. This one is working, it's just far, far more toxic.

This is going to be a fucking ride.

18

Or Kill Me / Re: Who takes care of the caretaker?

« on: December 31, 2022, 04:32:19 am »

Campbell's chicken and rice is basically salty water with bits of crap floating here and there. 
Good to hear he's on the shakes, anyway.

It tastes like wanting to feel better as a child. I get it, but it's not nutrient dense. He consumed enough calories for the day at breakfast and lunch, not including snacks and dinner. I am no longer fucking around and he is no longer allowed to complain.

19

Or Kill Me / Re: Who takes care of the caretaker?

« on: December 30, 2022, 08:20:47 pm »

He's home now.

Diagnoses:
-Neutropenia among other crashed blood counts. Needed 3 bags of B+.
-Dehydration and electrolyte imbalance because of hypermotility, was basically on banana bags the entire week.
-Malnutrition and extreme weight loss, because fuck listening to your wife when she said Campbell's chicken and rice isn't enough. He started hallucinating when his brain ran out of fats.

His hip is causing a lot of pain again, so we're moving forward with planning for the replacement. He's now on very high calorie Boost shakes on top of good bulking foods like rice, and now has at-home physical therapy starting today, PLUS prednisone to make him gain weight rapidly.

20

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only

« on: December 28, 2022, 03:32:13 am »

The other day, while the temperature was around -30 C, a water line around here broke.  The water in the neigbourhood was out for about a day while a city crew dug a hole in a neighbour's lawn.
(That's "lawn" in the seasonally agnostic sense; it was really just a patch of snow covering frozen ground, which ostensibly contained grass roots until the backhoe shredded it.)

The lack of running water, however brief, was a reminder that plumbing is one of the foundations of modern civilization.

Yeah. This is why having all those gallons of water stashed during hurricane season is a big deal down here. The problem is once the lift station goes because the power AND water is out.

I'm sorry you had to deal with that. It's incredibly stressful even when you -are- prepared.

21

Or Kill Me / Re: Who takes care of the caretaker?

« on: December 24, 2022, 04:59:16 pm »

Jeff went into the hospital 2 days ago. He's not coming home for a while.

That's all.

22

Aneristic Illusions / Re: They're coming for you.

« on: December 21, 2022, 11:17:49 pm »

I expect full-blown pogroms soon. Not "next couple years" soon, either.

I've been saying this for the last couple of years and nobody wants to believe me. Once Joanne Rowling came out as full blown TERF and you watched the seas part on social media, it was clear where this was going. I honestly fucking think the straights were salivating at the idea of monkeypox being the next AIDS, they want genocide.

This isn't fucking funny and I am not being dramatic, dammit. All part of why I want the fuck out of this country as soon as I can.

I kept my mouth shut when I saw the writing on the wall in 2018. A trans woman got approved for asylum in NZ because of how bad things were in the UK. That's when I knew the US was definitely going to go further. We always try to outdo the rest of the world when it comes to pointless cruelty, it's all we have in our blood.

I've been yelling for the past year or so. I saw Club Q coming a year prior, and LoTT or an identical stochastic terrorism nexus was practically a given from the start of the pandemic. Moore County was apparently a test run by former parts of Atomwaffen and certainly specifically targeted drag events in particular.

And yeah, obviously they don't give a fuck. But I want them to have to fucking say it. I want them to announce they're my enemy. I want them to make it real clear what they're about.

Anyway, I can never leave. I'm too poor, too disabled, too dregs-of-the-societal-scum-heap for anyone to take me. I'm stuck here until I die.

All I'm saying is that I intend to go down hard and make people have regrets.

Strap up. Not even kidding. I mean, what are they gonna do? Actually pass gun laws? And if they try discriminatory laws, the Hague is going to pay attention really fucking fast.

23

Aneristic Illusions / Re: They're coming for you.

« on: December 21, 2022, 12:36:46 am »

They’re trying to make a list of us in Texas. A secret list. They’re going to register us. I’m not even exaggerating.

https://archive.ph/YYI7V

When do people realize this is preliminary work toward genocide?

They already know, that's why nothing is happening.

24

Aneristic Illusions / Re: They're coming for you.

« on: December 21, 2022, 12:32:27 am »

I expect full-blown pogroms soon. Not "next couple years" soon, either.

I've been saying this for the last couple of years and nobody wants to believe me. Once Joanne Rowling came out as full blown TERF and you watched the seas part on social media, it was clear where this was going. I honestly fucking think the straights were salivating at the idea of monkeypox being the next AIDS, they want genocide.

This isn't fucking funny and I am not being dramatic, dammit. All part of why I want the fuck out of this country as soon as I can.

25

Or Kill Me / Re: Who takes care of the caretaker?

« on: December 21, 2022, 12:29:45 am »

1 step forward, 2 steps back.

The current chemo cocktail is manufactured from pure hate and Satan's taint sweat. Not sure how well it's working yet, he just completed round 3, and has round 4 next week after Christmas. He goes in for imaging on the 3rd. The side effects are horrific, I don't think Cramulus shitting his pants eating all those fucking oranges could handle this. I don't think Dok could handle this after a plate of vindaloo. This is volatile, projectile, Geneva Convention-violating grade weaponized diarrhea. He's so bad about taking his meds it doesn't help, either. If I am not here to force Imodium and Enterade down his throat, he won't take it.

His hip is acting up again. He had a few weeks of full mobility and now he hurts again. My guess is that he overexerted himself, but since there is a pathological fracture in there, he needs to take it easy.

On top of it all, our cat has severe hyperthyroidism and is allergic to his medication, so we have to take the next steps and give him radioactive iodine at a specialist 45mins away. Okay, so, today he goes in for x-rays and his abdominal mass I found last year has grown a lot, so they took a fresh biopsy. I really fucking hope it's still just fat. PLEASE let it just be a weird ball of fat. I can't handle both him and Jeff having cancer right now. I'm on the verge of snapping as it is.

I'm in a constant state of dehydration to the point I'm achy and don't want to do anything coming off of the semester, which means I need to, you know, hydrate and do things. I have plenty of projects to work on, and executive dysfunction is fucking hell. When I ask for help from family, my mom just yells at me for being lazy.

This is awesome. I just want them both to die now so I can fucking disappear.

26

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only

« on: December 02, 2022, 12:05:09 pm »

If anyone is on Hive, apparently you can edit other users posts.

They had a massive security breach as well. Not just editing other posts, everything was leaked, from every user.

Mastodon ain't perfect but I can see why more people are into the idea of decentralized servers.

27

Or Kill Me / Re: Who takes care of the caretaker?

« on: November 24, 2022, 01:50:41 am »

I had to google c.Diff.
I wish I hadn't.
God damnit.

The amount of bleach, accelerated hydrogen peroxide, and hypochlorous acid I have had to unleash upon my house in the last few days has made me sick.

I developed stress shits (I already have IBS) and decided I was dying of C.Diff, so I did what any fucked up anxious twat would do and that was go right for the probiotics and kombucha.

You do NOT take probiotics and slam 2 cans of kombucha in the same day. What I did to my colon was on par with what Cramulus did with oranges, only hella faster. I legit was ready to go to the ER for a test despite Mr. Suu telling me I did it to myself, I called Jeff, who was legit shitting himself at the hospital, and asked him if it burned, and he was like, "No, that's acid. That's the kombucha you idiot." So I caught a moment of reason and then called my MD friend who, confirmed, yes, you do not just swallow mass quantities of Lactobacillus Acidophilus to murder any potential Clostridium Difficile in a bacterial war of attrition. I've been told to lay off the probiotics for several days until shit (literally) normalizes and I can stop fire pooping.

The odds of me getting c. Diff from Jeff are actually pretty low. I wash my hands CONSTANTLY as it is thanks to years of working in food and bev, and that is the number one way it's passed. All the bleach in the world will kill it on hard surfaces but if you don't wash your hands, it doesn't matter. I probably do have some in me, most people do, it's how gut bacteria works, but my biome is allegedly healthy. Well, as healthy as it can get considering the tea vinegar bomb I just unleashed on it.

He will probably be colonized with this bad bacteria for months, now. They didn't give him antibiotics because he created antibodies to the toxins and appears to have beaten it, which is better, it has less of a chance of reoccurrence. Still, 1 in 5 will get it again, so I'm gearing up for explosive shits round 2 next month.

Your gut microbiome is fucking terrifying. Do not, DO NOT, fuck with it if you can. One tip in the wrong direction and you get either fire shits and scorch your sphincter with too much Lactobacillius like me, or, you will just literally shit yourself into sepsis with c.Diff. There is no happy medium, only the former won't kill you.

28

Or Kill Me / Re: Who takes care of the caretaker?

« on: November 22, 2022, 10:43:42 pm »

Shit just keeps getting more fucked up.

This time it is/was c.Diff. (He managed to beat it without antibiotics.)

Fuck. My. Life.

29

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only

« on: November 11, 2022, 12:22:20 am »

Banned from Facebook again.

This time? The algorithms assuming I'm suicidal and when I refused help, they locked down my account. It's amazing I still have one at this point.

My immediate reaction was "That makes no sense.  Cutting a suicidal person off from social contact would be about the worst thing they could do."

My second reaction was "Maybe someone or something decided that having suicidal people present on the platform reduces profits.  Of course it's not about preserving life. It's about the benjamins."

Then again, I'm assuming the algorithms are actually functioning to achieve some defined purpose*.  Maybe it's all chaos, and facebook is only surviving due to inertia.

*Cue audience laughter

So it let me back on. My guess is that it was a serious glitch, but that's...uncool.

30

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only

« on: November 10, 2022, 07:50:42 pm »

Banned from Facebook again.

This time? The algorithms assuming I'm suicidal and when I refused help, they locked down my account. It's amazing I still have one at this point.