One thing about Tucson is, it makes you value your friends. It does this by randomly taking them away. It does this with a disproportionate number of traffic accidents, or by making them junkies, or by them being shot or stabbed and tossed in a dumpster. Or it just makes them recluses, or narcissistic basket cases who suddenly decide that all of their friends are somehow beneath them.
Fact is, you and I are beneath most of our friends, if you think about it. We all have our failings, our dirty secrets, our regular old human foibles and faults that - taken together, with no filters - might make us seem to be somewhat of a collection of feces.
However, the great thing about friends is that they get to know you, and they still like you. And if you're willing to pitch that away by exhibiting casual contempt for them, or by neglecting them, then you deserve the loneliness that you'll eventually experience, when folks around you finally catch on to your amiable disdain.
People don't like being spoken down to...It's harder to stomach than outright hostility, particularly when done "drive by" style. Condescension, like many other things, can't really be taken back, at least not too many times. After a while, people begin to doubt your sincerity.
Case in point: At our local gameshop, there's a new-er guy by the name of Erin. Funny guy, very witty. He was a big hit for quite some time. He started several new projects, organized a lot of things. Then, one day, a few of us were tagging the front of the entire strip mall across the way with stickers and sidewalk chalk. When I walked in to buy a soda, he asked what we were doing. I told him, and invited him out to see.
"Oh, well, I suppose I better let you show me what you're so proud of."
"What the fuck? Don't bother, if it's going to be a chore."
"No, let's go look at your fun."
He walked across, and took a look. Then he turned to me and said, "Very cute. Golf clap."
I honestly didn't know what to say. My first instinct was to stomp him, but that didn't seem appropriate. But the next time I stopped in at the store, he said hey, and I walked right past him. He seemed puzzled, but that wasn't exactly my problem, was it? I haven't spoken to him since...I have no time for people who think casual humiliation is somehow amusing, for the same reason I don't watch sitcoms (which seem to be based exclusively on humiliation and embarrassment, ho ho!). From what I gather, he still doesn't understand why I won't give him the time of day, and I see no reason to explain it to him. His value as a friend evaporated the instant he decided to treat me (and the people who were helping me) like a retarded child.
Funny thing is, it seems that I'm not the only one who feels that way about him.
Burn enough bridges, and you can't get to anyone, anymore. Treat people as if you're doing a favor by talking to them, and you'll find that you won't need to do many more "favors". Act like you're too good for people, and they'll oblige your sensibilities by giving you what you want: Solitude in your fortress of arrogance.
Okay for now,
Dok.
Bah, the guy's just a douche.
Douches, while they are not worth the time it takes to make and keep them friends, are not worth the effort of holding a grudge. They are, however, worth the time and patience to fuck with, and with there's enough douchebags in the world that you'll never run out, and if your joke is funny enough, you can play it again and again, if you want. :D
Yeah. I totally know what you mean, Dok-- there's this attitude of "being cool" that some people have, and I know I'm not entirely blameless here.
For some reason, getting excited and passionate about something that is frowned upon; if you show too much interest, you're suddenly "not cool enough."
Well, fuck that. I'll get excited, and I'll be interested, and if I have to do it on my own, then I'll do that.
And then people complain about how the "local scene" has died....
Quote from: Professor Freeky on May 11, 2010, 08:18:14 PM
Bah, the guy's just a douche.
Douches, while they are not worth the time it takes to make and keep them friends, are not worth the effort of holding a grudge. They are, however, worth the time and patience to fuck with, and with there's enough douchebags in the world that you'll never run out, and if your joke is funny enough, you can play it again and again, if you want. :D
You were there that night. You do know who I'm talking about, right?
And there's no grudge here, Freeky. Just a complete lack of interest in him. If I'm not up to his standards, then he can go find someone who is.
*shrug*
Quote from: LMNO on May 11, 2010, 08:19:18 PM
Yeah. I totally know what you mean, Dok-- there's this attitude of "being cool" that some people have, and I know I'm not entirely blameless here.
For some reason, getting excited and passionate about something that is frowned upon; if you show too much interest, you're suddenly "not cool enough."
Well, fuck that. I'll get excited, and I'll be interested, and if I have to do it on my own, then I'll do that.
And then people complain about how the "local scene" has died....
Precisely.
I'm too busy having fun to be cool, and I've recently decided that I won't be wasting time on people who think I don't measure up, somehow. I never really DID, come to think of it, but there have been some exceptions. There won't be, anymore.
cheers that, man. I'm about to move out of my town. About 40% of my motivation to do so is that I'm sick of my friends. They're a bunch of townies, deadbeats, and lazy introverts. They're the best kind of all three, but I can't keep getting sucked into orbit with them. Because their orbit has one track, and it's a slow downward spiral.
I often wonder if I should say something to them.
I mean, you hope that your friends will let you know if you've got something stuck in your teeth, right? If I'm acting like a shithead, I hope my friends are big enough to go "Dude, chill," rather than just avoiding me forever.
But what can you say? Can you say, "Hey man, I know we've been friends for over ten years, but in the last six months you have blown me off every single time I've invited you out. I'm moving because you take my friendship for granted." No, you can't say it. Well you can, but it'd be burning a bridge. And I have nothing to gain from that.
So I just go on letting my shithead friends be shitheads. I want to say, "You guys are awfully condescending for a bunch of townies." But would that help them? No, it would just embitter them towards me. They would start thinking of excuses rather than solutions.
One of my best buddies is unemployed now, and his schedule for the whole day looks something like, "10:30 AM - get blazed." He's not even looking for a new job, he wants to ride out unemployment for as long as he can. And he has no ambitions, no hobbies other than gaming, no forward motion in his life.
So I leave them to that fate. I want to help them, but who wants to get caught by the same gravity?
Another example is when someone expresses amazement that you did something right. Or actually had a conversation without fighting or drama. Or managed to piss without wetting your boots. That sort of thing.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 11, 2010, 08:20:07 PM
Quote from: Professor Freeky on May 11, 2010, 08:18:14 PM
Bah, the guy's just a douche.
Douches, while they are not worth the time it takes to make and keep them friends, are not worth the effort of holding a grudge. They are, however, worth the time and patience to fuck with, and with there's enough douchebags in the world that you'll never run out, and if your joke is funny enough, you can play it again and again, if you want. :D
You were there that night. You do know who I'm talking about, right?
And there's no grudge here, Freeky. Just a complete lack of interest in him. If I'm not up to his standards, then he can go find someone who is.
*shrug*
I don't remember the guy. You pointed him out to me, as we drove away, and I remember seeing him, but I never met him before. Or at least don't remember it.
People who have high standards do not generally find people who hold up to them in a good light, I've found. So fuck him and his ilk; there's always the Dirty Boys on Grant Road.
You could be describing my ex.
He makes friends for me; he's charming, witty, a good conversationalist. He is good at meeting people and drawing them into our social circle. And when he's done being charming, he's good at being condescending and demeaning. By then, though, his new friends have met the rest of us, and we get to keep them.
It sure must be hard when you're the coolest person you've ever met.
Quote from: Professor Freeky on May 11, 2010, 08:26:36 PM
I don't remember the guy. You pointed him out to me, as we drove away, and I remember seeing him, but I never met him before. Or at least don't remember it.
Long red hair, slight acne scars, about your height. I thought you knew him.
Quote from: Professor Freeky on May 11, 2010, 08:26:36 PM
People who have high standards do not generally find people who hold up to them in a good light, I've found. So fuck him and his ilk; there's always the Dirty Boys on Grant Road.
Well, this is exactly it. I'm more interested in people who are willing to have a good time, than people who are worried about how having a good time will look to the rubes. LMNO hit it right on the head...If laughing your ass off makes you "uncool", then I will learn to live without being cool.
I admit that sometimes I laugh at inappropriate things, but it ain't easy having a good time, at least not in Tucson in 2010.
One reason I never have a problem driving out to get you, Freeky, is that you're more interested in fun than in image.
Gonna hit some gallery openings next week, btw, if you're interested.
Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on May 11, 2010, 08:28:11 PM
You could be describing my ex.
He makes friends for me; he's charming, witty, a good conversationalist. He is good at meeting people and drawing them into our social circle. And when he's done being charming, he's good at being condescending and demeaning. By then, though, his new friends have met the rest of us, and we get to keep them.
It sure must be hard when you're the coolest person you've ever met.
Capture the crowd, then hold them in disdain for allowing themselves to be fooled?
Sounds like your ex doesn't like himself very much.
Some people just miss things. Like blind spots in their perception or social ability. The paranoia makes me wonder if it's them or me some days.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 11, 2010, 08:32:02 PM
Quote from: Professor Freeky on May 11, 2010, 08:26:36 PM
I don't remember the guy. You pointed him out to me, as we drove away, and I remember seeing him, but I never met him before. Or at least don't remember it.
Long red hair, slight acne scars, about your height. I thought you knew him.
Nope.
Quote
Quote from: Professor Freeky on May 11, 2010, 08:26:36 PM
People who have high standards do not generally find people who hold up to them in a good light, I've found. So fuck him and his ilk; there's always the Dirty Boys on Grant Road.
Well, this is exactly it. I'm more interested in people who are willing to have a good time, than people who are worried about how having a good time will look to the rubes. LMNO hit it right on the head...If laughing your ass off makes you "uncool", then I will learn to live without being cool.
I admit that sometimes I laugh at inappropriate things, but it ain't easy having a good time, at least not in Tucson in 2010.
One reason I never have a problem driving out to get you, Freeky, is that you're more interested in fun than in image.
Gonna hit some gallery openings next week, btw, if you're interested.
Aww, I got all excited, and then realized I still have no one to babysit. I may not even be able to work, cuz my parents are out of town.
Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on May 11, 2010, 08:28:11 PM
You could be describing my ex.
He makes friends for me; he's charming, witty, a good conversationalist. He is good at meeting people and drawing them into our social circle. And when he's done being charming, he's good at being condescending and demeaning. By then, though, his new friends have met the rest of us, and we get to keep them.
It sure must be hard when you're the coolest person you've ever met.
I manage. 8)
We all fall into this trap, sometimes without meaning to, as LMNO mentioned above. I take it from the way you presented it that this is a rather habitual thing with this guy. It'd be different if he was just in a bad mood. Let's face it, everyone has been a needless dick to someone as a result of a bad mood. Everyone has said something that came out far more cruel than was intended. The real difference between a person who's worth being around and one who isn't is that the former will be able to step back and say "hey, listen, I'm sorry I was such a shithead." Arrogance is partly not being able to recognize when you have been one.
Quote from: Richter on May 11, 2010, 08:33:24 PM
Some people just miss things. Like blind spots in their perception or social ability. The paranoia makes me wonder if it's them or me some days.
Yeah, sometimes you have to sort of question it..."Do I have a booger hanging out of my social nose?" kinda thing.
But sometimes it's fairly unmistakeable. Sometimes it just slaps you dead in your face. It's even more infuriating when people take advantage of the normal instinct to question yourself, and include a bit of passive-aggressive shittiness in with their contempt. Or worse, do that when it's OBVIOUS that they were looking down their nose at you.
"What do you mean? I wasn't talking about YOU, I was only saying."
Quote from: EoC on May 11, 2010, 08:37:29 PM
Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on May 11, 2010, 08:28:11 PM
You could be describing my ex.
He makes friends for me; he's charming, witty, a good conversationalist. He is good at meeting people and drawing them into our social circle. And when he's done being charming, he's good at being condescending and demeaning. By then, though, his new friends have met the rest of us, and we get to keep them.
It sure must be hard when you're the coolest person you've ever met.
I manage. 8)
We all fall into this trap, sometimes without meaning to, as LMNO mentioned above. I take it from the way you presented it that this is a rather habitual thing with this guy. It'd be different if he was just in a bad mood. Let's face it, everyone has been a needless dick to someone as a result of a bad mood. Everyone has said something that came out far more cruel than was intended. The real difference between a person who's worth being around and one who isn't is that the former will be able to step back and say "hey, listen, I'm sorry I was such a shithead." Arrogance is partly not being able to recognize when you have been one.
Precisely. Exactly.
In this particular case, though, there was no way in hell the guy didn't realize what he was doing. It was written all over his face. He had actually acted that way once earlier, though not as blatantly, and I blew it off as a failed attempt at sarcastic humor.
Quote from: Professor Freeky on May 11, 2010, 08:36:11 PM
Aww, I got all excited, and then realized I still have no one to babysit. I may not even be able to work, cuz my parents are out of town.
:(
I'd offer to draft my daughter (who wouldn't mind), but she'll be coming along.
I'll tell you the days, and you can see if worthless will take Stephen.
I prize passion almost more than anything else, even misplaced passion. I have a co-worker who is a conspiracy nut (I've mentioned this on here before), she is annoying, but she has so much passion for her insanity that I admire her still. I would sooner talk to fifteen nutcases with passion than a single hipster with the "seen it all, done better" mindset.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 11, 2010, 08:43:16 PM
Quote from: Professor Freeky on May 11, 2010, 08:36:11 PM
Aww, I got all excited, and then realized I still have no one to babysit. I may not even be able to work, cuz my parents are out of town.
:(
I'd offer to draft my daughter (who wouldn't mind), but she'll be coming along.
I'll tell you the days, and you can see if worthless will take Stephen.
Sounds good. :)
One final thought on this:
Life is short. It's really short. When you're 12, the summer lasts forever. When you're 25, you wonder where the time seems to go. When you're 40, the years start to blur by. You only get one time around, and the ride never, ever lasts long enough. If you waste the ride posturing, being too cool to have a good time or enjoy friendships, then you may as well have not even bothered.
Or you can have the guts to be a friend, and the courage to have fun without concern for what the world might think of you. And I think that's what this whole Discordian thing is all about.
Quote from: Hoopla on May 11, 2010, 08:43:32 PM
I prize passion almost more than anything else, even misplaced passion. I have a co-worker who is a conspiracy nut (I've mentioned this on here before), she is annoying, but she has so much passion for her insanity that I admire her still. I would sooner talk to fifteen nutcases with passion than a single hipster with the "seen it all, done better" mindset.
I have a buddy like that, guy named Jeff. (He and I have been nicknamed "two angry beavers" - apparently I'm Dags.) He is also a conspiracy theorist, and believes EVERY conspiracy with a purity and passion that keeps me enthralled.
Yes...As I was reminded by the past couple days, we are (most people are, I think) keenly aware of little things like body language and tone of voice and will often respond to them more than to the actual content of what is said.
Passion is beautiful and infectious. To be with passionate people is to feel more alive. The jaded hipsters secretly envy it, no matter how much they deny it.
Quote from: Brotep on May 11, 2010, 10:51:46 PM
Yes...As I was reminded by the past couple days, we are (most people are, I think) keenly aware of little things like body language and tone of voice and will often respond to them more than to the actual content of what is said.
Passion is beautiful and infectious. To be with passionate people is to feel more alive. The jaded hipsters secretly envy it, no matter how much they deny it.
"Any man who never gets carried away should be."
- Oscar Wilde
Being too jaded to have fun is a special kind of hell, I think. I'd rather hang out with people who blow up constantly.
Oh, wait. I do. :lulz:
Things like this OP are one of the reasons I consider you a good friend Dok.
being Cool is all very well, as long as you are not trying too hard. It doesn't count for much anyway, in the grand scheme of things. The older I get, the more selective I am over who my friends are. It's not intolerance really, it's just better judgement. And these days, I'd rather have a good enemy, than a bad friend. Loyalty is important too. And anything that smells of sycophancy, while it makes for being able to tolerate someone, it doesn't engender any kind of respect. And actually makes me want to abuse them. And that's not good.
I do have an arrogant streak though, I think I've earned the right to be a bit fucking arrogant from time to time. Especially when some idiot is trying to tell me something that I know to be the most utter shite. I am as much a fan of a good session of bullshit as the next Man, but I am not a liar. And if someone asks me something that is actually important, I will give as truthful answer as I can.
I don't like people who are always giving me unsolicited advice either. Advice is a dangerous gift. If asked, I will give the best advice I can, but if that someone then rejects it out of hand, I will not offer them any more. Similarly, I rarely ask for advice, but when I do it's treated with the consideration I would expect my own advice to be treated. And if you ask some idiot for advice, don't be surprised when it isn't very good.
Superiority, is a bit of a delicate subject, people have such preconceptions of someone who considers themselves superior. But fuck it, some people ARE superior, I will not treat someone as an equal, if they are obviously better than I am, or in a position of Authority that I have recognised, That would be overfamilier, and a bit insulting. But the other way counts too. I am a better person than many of the people I meet. Most in fact. (Told you I was a bit arrogant)
But to treat an inferior person as an equal, is often putting expectations on them, that are unrealistic. I wont treat someone disrespectfully because I feel I am better than them, but it does affect the way I interact with them.
I'm not entirely blind to my own faults, they are many, and varied. And my expectations of people are not unreasonable.
So when someone has expectations of me, that are unreasonable, but are oblivious to flaws in their own character, or reasoning, I'll call them on it.
(And that's why no-one likes me)
Quote from: BadBeast on May 11, 2010, 11:02:50 PM
The older I get, the more selective I am over who my friends are. It's not intolerance really, it's just better judgement. And these days, I'd rather have a good enemy, than a bad friend.
Loyalty is important too.
1. True, but not the point. If you really don't feel friendly towards someone, that's one thing...But to be friends, then to do a little sneering, is in itself disloyal, in a sense.
2. Loyalty is one of the most important things to look for in your friends.
Quote from: Hawk on May 11, 2010, 11:02:30 PM
Things like this OP are one of the reasons I consider you a good friend Dok.
Thanks, Hawk.
Quote from: BadBeast on May 11, 2010, 11:02:50 PM
But fuck it, some people ARE superior, I will not treat someone as an equal, if they are obviously better than I am, or in a position of Authority that I have recognised, That would be overfamilier, and a bit insulting. But the other way counts too. I am a better person than many of the people I meet. Most in fact. (Told you I was a bit arrogant)
But to treat an inferior person as an equal, is often putting expectations on them, that are unrealistic. I wont treat someone disrespectfully because I feel I am better than them, but it does affect the way I interact with them.
I'm not entirely blind to my own faults, they are many, and varied. And my expectations of people are not unreasonable.
So when someone has expectations of me, that are unreasonable, but are oblivious to flaws in their own character, or reasoning, I'll call them on it.
(And that's why no-one likes me)
And right here is where you lost me. Who are we to judge another person so?
Totally agree with everything, and I hate to say this is something I've stumbled on before. Working on that. Whenever I catch myself doing it, I recall my Devo.
I'm through being cool.
I hate the "too cool for school" attitude. Drives me batshit insane. If I wanna be SILLY, and it EMBARRASSES you, then FUCK OFF. Yes, I've had this problem before. This is the stance I've learned to take, fortunately. Just too late for some pain, unfortunately.
Life IS too fucking short to put up with people who are shitty.
Quote from: Hawk on May 11, 2010, 11:11:11 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on May 11, 2010, 11:02:50 PM
But fuck it, some people ARE superior, I will not treat someone as an equal, if they are obviously better than I am, or in a position of Authority that I have recognised, That would be overfamilier, and a bit insulting. But the other way counts too. I am a better person than many of the people I meet. Most in fact. (Told you I was a bit arrogant)
But to treat an inferior person as an equal, is often putting expectations on them, that are unrealistic. I wont treat someone disrespectfully because I feel I am better than them, but it does affect the way I interact with them.
I'm not entirely blind to my own faults, they are many, and varied. And my expectations of people are not unreasonable.
So when someone has expectations of me, that are unreasonable, but are oblivious to flaws in their own character, or reasoning, I'll call them on it.
(And that's why no-one likes me)
And right here is where you lost me. Who are we to judge another person so?
I am better than Edward M Liddy. I am also superior to your garden-variety hate-spewing teabagger. So is BadBeast. So are you.
Quote from: Sigmatic on May 11, 2010, 11:11:49 PM
Totally agree with everything, and I hate to say this is something I've stumbled on before. Working on that. Whenever I catch myself doing it, I recall my Devo.
I'm through being cool.
You had a rough patch, but you got through it. People err.
Quote from: Jenne on May 11, 2010, 11:12:56 PM
I hate the "too cool for school" attitude. Drives me batshit insane. If I wanna be SILLY, and it EMBARRASSES you, then FUCK OFF. Yes, I've had this problem before. This is the stance I've learned to take, fortunately. Just too late for some pain, unfortunately.
Life IS too fucking short to put up with people who are shitty.
This.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 11, 2010, 11:13:27 PM
Quote from: Hawk on May 11, 2010, 11:11:11 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on May 11, 2010, 11:02:50 PM
But fuck it, some people ARE superior, I will not treat someone as an equal, if they are obviously better than I am, or in a position of Authority that I have recognised, That would be overfamilier, and a bit insulting. But the other way counts too. I am a better person than many of the people I meet. Most in fact. (Told you I was a bit arrogant)
But to treat an inferior person as an equal, is often putting expectations on them, that are unrealistic. I wont treat someone disrespectfully because I feel I am better than them, but it does affect the way I interact with them.
I'm not entirely blind to my own faults, they are many, and varied. And my expectations of people are not unreasonable.
So when someone has expectations of me, that are unreasonable, but are oblivious to flaws in their own character, or reasoning, I'll call them on it.
(And that's why no-one likes me)
And right here is where you lost me. Who are we to judge another person so?
I am better than Edward M Liddy. I am also superior to your garden-variety hate-spewing teabagger. So is BadBeast. So are you.
Maybe it's just because I have to come to expect so little out of people.
Quote from: Hawk on May 11, 2010, 11:11:11 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on May 11, 2010, 11:02:50 PM
But fuck it, some people ARE superior, I will not treat someone as an equal, if they are obviously better than I am, or in a position of Authority that I have recognised, That would be overfamilier, and a bit insulting. But the other way counts too. I am a better person than many of the people I meet. Most in fact. (Told you I was a bit arrogant)
But to treat an inferior person as an equal, is often putting expectations on them, that are unrealistic. I wont treat someone disrespectfully because I feel I am better than them, but it does affect the way I interact with them.
I'm not entirely blind to my own faults, they are many, and varied. And my expectations of people are not unreasonable.
So when someone has expectations of me, that are unreasonable, but are oblivious to flaws in their own character, or reasoning, I'll call them on it.
(And that's why no-one likes me)
And right here is where you lost me. Who are we to judge another person so?
We
ALL Judge other people on what we see, or how we percieve them, it's all we have to go on, and most of us seem to pride ourselves on how "good a judge of character" we are. (Which mostly means, "I've made my mind up, and I'm sticking to it" )
We are all Judgemental, and we are
not all equal. That isn't the issue. The issue is how we treat other people, and how we act. To say that we are not all equal, is not to say that we are
worth more than anyone else. Just that some of us have qualities that are not so apparent in others. And they often have qualities we may lack. The way we act, is what makes us better than someone else. For instance, I may judge someone as less worthy than myself. But I will not treat them any differently than I might treat anyone else. And the big difference is, I am prepared to be wrong in my assessment of them. And when this happens, (and it does)
What makes me (or anyone else, for that matter) better,
is that I don't resent that person for my own mistake. And so many people do.
That is who
I am, to Judge another person so.
QuoteMaybe it's just because I have to come to expect so little out of people.
I don't believe that. I think if you really did expect so little out of people, you wouldn't feel so let down by them. I think that maybe (and I may be well off the mark here, so please forgive me if I'm wrong) you expect too much from people, and when they fail to live up to expectations, then you perhaps write them off as of little worth.
The thing is, we are all people, and subject to the same flaws and defects as everyone else. We are allowed to be wrong. We are allowed to make mistakes. It's how we learn.
No-one is able to live up to our highest ideals and expectations. It's not their fault. But it also isn't ours.
That's why they are ideals, and not standards.
We cannot fail to let other people down, if they set the goalposts too high.
And an ideal, is not a fixed standard.
If we set our expectations too high, then most will fail to reach the bar. Disappointing us.
That's why I don't believe you expect too little from people.
Quote from: Hoopla on May 11, 2010, 08:43:32 PM
I prize passion almost more than anything else, even misplaced passion. I have a co-worker who is a conspiracy nut (I've mentioned this on here before), she is annoying, but she has so much passion for her insanity that I admire her still. I would sooner talk to fifteen nutcases with passion than a single hipster with the "seen it all, done better" mindset.
I've seen this a lot with the gaming scene here, constantly trying to one up each other, act unimpressed all the time unless they are talking about themselves, putting each other down constantly. And then it dawned on me, where had I seen this before... and it was in school. The gaming scene consists of people who never got over being bullied in school and pretend to be what the cool kids were like back then.
I condescend, I know I do, especially when I'm at work I find it very hard to be patient with the staff if they fuck up. But I'm getting better at handling it, fortunately in Ireland at least, people won't let you get away with it, we have our own problem of anyone talking about a personal success being "too big for their boots".
Quote from: Faust on May 12, 2010, 12:47:30 AM
Quote from: Hoopla on May 11, 2010, 08:43:32 PM
I prize passion almost more than anything else, even misplaced passion. I have a co-worker who is a conspiracy nut (I've mentioned this on here before), she is annoying, but she has so much passion for her insanity that I admire her still. I would sooner talk to fifteen nutcases with passion than a single hipster with the "seen it all, done better" mindset.
I've seen this a lot with the gaming scene here, constantly trying to one up each other, act unimpressed all the time unless they are talking about themselves, putting each other down constantly. And then it dawned on me, where had I seen this before... and it was in school. The gaming scene consists of people who never got over being bullied in school and pretend to be what the cool kids were like back then.
I condescend, I know I do, especially when I'm at work I find it very hard to be patient with the staff if they fuck up. But I'm getting better at handling it, fortunately in Ireland at least, people won't let you get away with it, we have our own problem of anyone talking about a personal success being "too big for their boots".
Condescension has its place. Just not with your friends.
Absolutely. There's a guy I know who is exactly like your game store jerk and I avoid talking to him most of the time. However, it's also an open secret he's actually pathetic with no self esteem and emotional issues (boy, is he a talkative, whiny drunk). Not worth the time I'm sometimes socially forced to give him.
Quote from: Hover Cat on May 12, 2010, 02:01:02 AM
Absolutely. There's a guy I know who is exactly like your game store jerk and I avoid talking to him most of the time. However, it's also an open secret he's actually pathetic with no self esteem and emotional issues (boy, is he a talkative, whiny drunk). Not worth the time I'm sometimes socially forced to give him.
Forced? You have to be firm with these types. Whack him on the nose with a dice bag.
One of my closest friends is in love with him and I tolerate the Jerk for his sake. However, the Jerk and my friend are both aware of my dislike so it doesn't happen every often.
Quote from: Hover Cat on May 12, 2010, 02:52:37 AM
One of my closest friends is in love with him and I tolerate the Jerk for his sake. However, the Jerk and my friend are both aware of my dislike so it doesn't happen every often.
Ah.
You should still whack him with something. Like I said, you have to be firm about these things, or they'll follow you home.
What many douchebags fail to realize is that douchebaggery is not an effective strategy for getting in the good graces of worthwhile people.
I recently got back into contact with an old "friend". I really did consider the guy a friend, when I was younger and dumber. I fell for his serious person with serious concerns routine, his involvement with Buddhism.
It turns out he interpreted my not making an effort to stay in touch as a falling out, which he believed was caused by him going on a date *GASP!* with a girl I liked. THREE YEARS AGO. He thought I was still angry (I was never angry to begin with). An awkward conversation ensued, in which he said he echoed my sentiments of "water under the bridge" and added that it was cool even if I might have said bad things about him to gain an edge. I told him, I'm not a saint or anything, but one thing I will never do is harm my friends' reputations for my own advantage. He said, "Oh, well I would." He then proceeded to add that if I had sabotaged his relationship with her I had done him a favor, because that girl had turned out to be "a stuck-up bitch."
How dense can you be? :horrormirth:
^IAWTC and wow.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 12, 2010, 02:54:42 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on May 12, 2010, 02:52:37 AM
One of my closest friends is in love with him and I tolerate the Jerk for his sake. However, the Jerk and my friend are both aware of my dislike so it doesn't happen every often.
Ah.
You should still whack him with something. Like I said, you have to be firm about these things, or they'll follow you home.
If I ever have the chance to beat him with a rolled-up Magic mat, I will.
I encounter so many "I'm better than you" types that it makes me sick.
Seems like every person I meet or am introduced to these days has that "Look at how fucking cool I am and you can never measure up" stance.
I sure as hell don't take it and I call it out immediately.
I often find myself apologizing to my friends for doing so and their response is usually "Naw dude it's cool. You just said what we were all thinking".
One of these days my mouth is gonna get me knocked the fuck out. :lulz: and I'm kinda ok with it.
Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on May 13, 2010, 12:06:51 PM
I encounter so many "I'm better than you" types that it makes me sick.
Seems like every person I meet or am introduced to these days has that "Look at how fucking cool I am and you can never measure up" stance.
I sure as hell don't take it and I call it out immediately.
I often find myself apologizing to my friends for doing so and their response is usually "Naw dude it's cool. You just said what we were all thinking".
One of these days my mouth is gonna get me knocked the fuck out. :lulz: and I'm kinda ok with it.
Alligator mouth/humingbird ass syndrome ITT. :lulz:
Yeah. My barman at the pub I often drink at on tuesdays was acting that way to me the other day.
Great guy, have known him for years (in a barman/ patron kind of way, anyway).
When I walked out last tuesday, that's the last time I'll ever be on his premises.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 11, 2010, 11:15:22 PM
Quote from: Jenne on May 11, 2010, 11:12:56 PM
I hate the "too cool for school" attitude. Drives me batshit insane. If I wanna be SILLY, and it EMBARRASSES you, then FUCK OFF. Yes, I've had this problem before. This is the stance I've learned to take, fortunately. Just too late for some pain, unfortunately.
Life IS too fucking short to put up with people who are shitty.
This.
YEP YEP!!!
Quote from: Hawk on May 13, 2010, 02:26:14 PM
Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on May 13, 2010, 12:06:51 PM
I encounter so many "I'm better than you" types that it makes me sick.
Seems like every person I meet or am introduced to these days has that "Look at how fucking cool I am and you can never measure up" stance.
I sure as hell don't take it and I call it out immediately.
I often find myself apologizing to my friends for doing so and their response is usually "Naw dude it's cool. You just said what we were all thinking".
One of these days my mouth is gonna get me knocked the fuck out. :lulz: and I'm kinda ok with it.
Alligator mouth/humingbird ass syndrome ITT. :lulz:
Not quite a syndrome. I just speak my mind before thinking about consequences. I know it's coming, and I'll probably deserve it.
This is gonna sound terrible, and that's probably because it is, but...
I have no problem being friends with stupid people as long as they don't continually say stupid shit. I have an unfortunate tendency to make fun of those who do.
Quote from: Brotep on May 13, 2010, 05:14:49 PM
This is gonna sound terrible, and that's probably because it is, but...
I have no problem being friends with stupid people as long as they don't continually say stupid shit. I have an unfortunate tendency to make fun of those who do.
Yeah, but there's stupid, and stupid stupid. People who are stupid because they are too lazy to think or bother to learn anything, and people who are stupid because they aren't so bright, but still try to learn stuff. The latter are fine, because they genuinely try to get their heads around stuff.. The former are usually arsepipes, because they can't be bothered to think like a human, and think that's ok.
Quote from: BadBeast on May 13, 2010, 05:35:27 PM
Quote from: Brotep on May 13, 2010, 05:14:49 PM
This is gonna sound terrible, and that's probably because it is, but...
I have no problem being friends with stupid people as long as they don't continually say stupid shit. I have an unfortunate tendency to make fun of those who do.
Yeah, but there's stupid, and stupid stupid. People who are stupid because they are too lazy to think or bother to learn anything, and people who are stupid because they aren't so bright, but still try to learn stuff. The latter are fine, because they genuinely try to get their heads around stuff.. The former are usually arsepipes, because they can't be bothered to think like a human, and think that's ok.
Yes.
Exactly. After all, it's not that difficult to do a little research before playing expert on a subject.