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I thought she had money out the wazoo, why did she keep those snaggleteeth?

Continuous recitation of the HOLY NAME^TM creates a shield like unto an armor of venereal warts that no enemy dares penetrate.

Fixt.
Normal hell was full of hipsters anyway.

I'm not new, but it's a new account so do what thou wilt. 

Interweb Horrormonkey of Love

Thanks, that actually...OSHI-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uknDkAw-tU

Who the hell is giggles, anyway?

Some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves.

Some say he's wanted by the CIA, and that he sleeps upside down like a bat.

Some say that he appears on high value stamps in Sweden, and that he can catch fish with his tongue.

Some say he is illegal in 17 U.S. states, and he blinks horizontally.

Some say that his breath smells of magnesium, and that he's scared of bells.

Some say he naturally faces magnetic north, and that all of his legs are hydraulic.

Some say that his genitals are on upside down, and that if he could be bothered, he could crack the Da Vinci Code in 43 seconds.

Some say that he lives in a tree, and that his sweat can be used to clean precious metals.

Some say that his heart ticks like a watch, and that he's confused by stairs.

Some say that his voice can only be heard by cats, and that he has two sets of knees.

Some say that he's terrified of ducks, and that there's an airport in Russia named after him.

Some say his skin has the texture of a dolphin's, and that where ever you are in the world, if you tune your radio to 88.4, you can actually hear his thoughts.

Some say that he has no understanding of clouds, and that his ear wax tastes like Turkish delight.

Some say that his politics are terrifying, and that he once punched a horse to the ground.

Some say that his tears are adhesive, and that if he caught fire, he'd burn for a thousand days.

Some say he can swim seven lengths under water, and he has webbed buttocks.

Some say that his heart is in upside down, and that his teeth glow in the dark.

Some say that his ears aren't exactly where you'd expect them to be, and that once, preposterously, he had an affair with Mol.

Some say he has a digital face, and that if he felt like it, he could fire Donald Trump.

Some say his ears have a paisley lining, and he's been banned from the Chelsea Flower Show.

Some say that the outline of his left nipple is exactly the same shape as the Nürburgring, and that if you give him a really important job to do, he'll skive off and play croquet.

Some say he invented Branston Pickle, and that if you insult his mother, he will head-butt you in the chest.

Some say that on really warm days, he sheds his skin like a snake, and that for some reason, he's allergic to the Dutch.

Some say he once threw a microwave oven at a tramp, and long before anyone else, he realized that Jade Goody was a racist pig-faced waste of blood and organs.

Some say that if you lick his chest, it tastes exactly the same as marmite, and that he was once arrested for goosing Russell Brand.

Some say he isn't machine washable, and all his potted plants are called Steve.

Some say that his scrotum has its own small gravity field, and that because our admins rigged his profile, he now has a new name.

Some say that he's banned from the town of Roswell, and that in a recent late-night deal, he bought a slightly dented white Fiat Uno from the Duke of Edinburgh.

Some say he's seen The Lion King 1780 times, and that his second best friend is a cape buffalo.

Some say that to unlock him, you have to run your finger down his face, and that if he was getting divorced from Paul McCartney, he'd keep his stupid whiney mouth shut.

Some say that he knows 2 facts about ducks, and both of them are wrong. And that 61 years ago he accidentally introduced Her Majesty The Queen to a Greek racialist.

Some say that when he slows down brake lights come on in his buttocks, and that he thought Star Wars was a documentary.

Some say that each of his toenails are exactly the same as a woman's nipples, and that he thinks that "credit-crunch" is some kind of a breakfast cereal.

Some say his droppings have been found as far north as York. And that he has a full size tattoo of his face, on his face.

Some say it's impossible for him to wear socks, and he can open a beer bottle with his testes.

Some say that he sleeps inside out, and that he once had full sex with Russell Brand's answering machine.

Some say his favourite ever song is Forever Autumn by Justin Hayward, and that he has the world's largest collection of pornographical material.

Some say one of his legs get longer when he sees a pretty lady, and that he invented November.

.....All we know is, he's called GIGGLES.

This actually may be my favorite post of all time.

GIGGLES HAS ANAL WARTS THE SIZE OF TENNIS BALLS, PLEASE HELP HIM

I'm not new, but it's a new account so do what thou wilt. 

*shudders*