Messages

No, I don't. I just feel bad and wish I could fix things but nothing I say is good enough, maybe because I can be nasty, horrible person. I'll try to be a better person in general.

It isn't their fault for dying, calling them dumb was harsh of me. I don't think of being dumb as something that is someone's fault. I'm dumb too, and if I died I don't expect anybody to care. But that's just me and I am wrong for ever projecting that attitude into others in ways like that.

I also said that I hope we can get to a point where all preventable deaths are avoided, but that statement didn't matter.

I don't want people to die.

I don't expect anything but cruelty from basically anybody I meet or speak to anymore.
I can probably be too defensive sometimes and that comes across as passive aggressive bullshit, and probably is.

I try my best to be a good person. I have a lot of flaws. And generally keep to myself to work on them. I'm just sorry.

Maybe the stuff helped just by replacing more harmful habits and thought patterns with less harmful ones. I don't know. I feel really stupid, and am really stupid. I've embarrassed myself and there's no way to delete these accounts that I can find so I hope at least people can use my posts for a laugh at my expense.

Just to answer CNO before signing off for good, it seems to have helped in my actual life, with functioning better and feeling better. I don't have many of the issues I had years ago. So if that's "fixing", then yeah, it has fixed some stuff. Obviously I'm not perfect yet, but is anybody?

But I won't try to recommend any of or anything it to anyone, anymore.

Keep my woo and my thoughts to myself.

I realize I've embarrassed myself by trying to join in on this forum and hope that you all enjoyed being condescending intellectuals at a traumatized young woman's expense. I'm sorry that I try to keep an open mind and am open to things that help after years of pain and torment, and sorry that I try to be nonjudgmental and friendly after it all, so maybe I really don't fit in with Discordians. Sorry that I thought maybe I'd be anything close to like minded with people here because of the dumb books I've read. I'm just lonely and want to be helpful and have intellectually stimulating conversations with people but I, obviously can't hack it with you guys.

Stupid me for trying. 

I wish all of you the best in life.

That's just an attempt at displacing and repressing traumatic memories/representations without actually treating them, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Like  I said, I've just found it helpful for some tiggers. My doctor saw nothing wrong with it, and it's helped me to just live my life in a calmer fashion. Like not getting upset at seeing bloody violence on TV at other people's homes. I changed it from triggering a memory of  seeing real life bloody violence to reminding me of a different memory of just watching TV about something else. Who the fuck does that hurt? If people don't like it, no one will ever force them to do it. But some of us with issues just want to be able to live our lives more in peace for now and But I get it, every attempt to share something I've found personally helpful is stupid, I was stupid to join this forum, I will leave you all to your stuff that you do here.

You may think there's a quick fix that every single person can do to automatically "treat" traumatic memories, but I have never met a doctor so far that thought that. Forgive me.

Im just gonna be annoying and make one more post in a different sort of vein :


If you are reading this thread and suffer from PTSD/Trauma (my flavor of crazy),  try looking into EFT. It feels silly to do at first but can help, works similarly to acupuncture without the needles (or so the people who developed it say, I don't personally know a lot about the science behind it, just am using it)

Also EMDR, if you can afford it or find a therapist that works on a sliding scale and need a therapists' help working through some of the more intense shit.

And I've personally had some success with using NLP Trauma techniques (yeah, another thing that's considered pseudoscience, I'm not a commercial for it, just tried some of their Trauma Healing mind tricks, and noticed it was helpful for me.)

ETA: OBVIOUSLY talk to your doctor or therapist before doing anything that you are concerned may make things worse, and don't get off of your SSRIs and sedatives without talking to them. They will probably be familiar with all those things, my doctor  wasn't even against the NLP despite its dodgy "scientific" status, but did warn me  that it's not a gentle approach. The techniques I've tried basically amount to forcing your mind repeatedly to conjure up another memory when faced with triggering stimuli, so that the stimuli becomes associated with the new, happier memory rather than the old, intrusive, traumatic one.. It is difficult, and helps to have a buddy or actual NLP practitioner do it with you to ingrain the technique, but technically it can be done alone at home, for triggers that don't precede harmful behaviors but just bad feelings. I dont know, helped me to get over some triggers so far. You obviously have to know what your triggers are before trying it. Okay, I fucked up and edited again, so I'm gonna fuck off now.

*concerned by the children with their magic pills, damnit.

If people are considered by the children with their magical pills taking up medical time and resources, one thing they could try instead of plunging them into potentially harmful psychoactive drug treatment so long as they continue to not harm themselves or others, is attempt to teach them that that's what they're doing, so they can then get out of their proverbial bad trips by themselves, using a glass of milk or whatever they want. If their belief that it's the pill is that troublesome.

In the event that they do anything harmful to themselves or others, we already have shit tons of mechanics to make sure people end up locked up against their will and force fed the psych meds. Happens all the time. Other people go in voluntarily all the time.

Just like Homeopathy doesn't have a monopoly on the Placebo Effect , Psychiatry doesn't have a (complete) monopoly on Mental Health, and I personally think that's a good thing for now since most of the meds slowly kill people and plenty of people who believe in the "magic pills"  aren't hurting anybody,  but other people are free to disagree with me, I don't care.

I like your posts, Johnny. They're very insightful. I like CNO's posts too, they made me think more about stuff. Sorry if neither of you guys like my posts. I really was only slightly kidding when I said meds have made my cognitive abilities worse, but I actually am diagnosed a flavor of  "crazy" and need the real, psychoactive ones.

Editing ONLY to add: also have a slowly healing TBI, it can make conversations even in real life hard, I have memory problems due to them, hence the constant adding of ideas I forgot to put, and my impulse control sometimes just isn't what it used to be (already not the best, being in my early 20's) in regards to things like posting before previewing.

Personally don't see what's so wrong and unethical about doctors using the "magical pill" for those patients.  Can ultimately see now why straight up having them use the Homeopathic version of a magical pill isn't necessary for that, and could do more harm than good rather than be totally neutral.

I don't see how it's so harmfully unethical if it works for some, since a lot psych meds do have a lot of harmful side effects (excluding SSRIs alone), so if some people's issues can be fixed with Placebo, that's neat for them. It reminds me of telling yourself a glass of milk will get you out of a bad acid trip and make your trip better, and it working, they just really want a doctor to give them the glass of milk and the milk to be a pill for some reason.

Will just add though, I do agree that Homeopathy doesn't have a monopoly on the Placebo Effect.

Maybe I was making it sound like I thought that, but no, that's just how I think it "works" if it ever does "work".  But certainly, if people are hell bent on having Homeopathy thrown out entirely, they can go right ahead.

I don't believe in the stuff to defend it that much, I'm just also not butthurt that people have healed themselves with it via Placebo Effect enough to shit all over them and their perceived experience because their experience doesn't match what I think to be true and possible. People accidentally kill themselves all the time doing dumb shit, including taking other people's pharmaceutical drugs. Doctors kill people all the time making medical mistakes. I hope someday we can eradicate all avoidable deaths. If phasing out the practice of Homeopathy is a step in that direction because more people are convinced it does more harm than good, then fine by me.

Using it to potentially study The Placebo Effect in non-life threatening circumstances  was just the only possible reason I could come up with on the fly to not throw it out entirely.

You right, the Placebo Effect is horrible and dangerous, why would we ever want to figure out why it works or how to harness it?

I didn't say the placebo effect was dangerous.  If you actually read my second-to-last post, I suggested a mechanism by which it could (maybe) be invoked beneficially.  I'm not sure why you might think that homeopathic treatments have a monopoly on the placebo effect.

Man, forgive me, I'm just so stupid and crazy. What I was thinking coming in here and bothering you nice, enlightened folks with all this shit.

No worries, this is the most fun I've had here all week.

In actuality I really do have stuff to do, and I'm  too tired to read your posts anymore. Glad to hear that you had fun though! I found it fun too, even if you didn't intend for me to.

*What was I thinking. See, I'm so stupid and crazy that I mistype stuff sometimes. Which is why I was editing my posts, I should have just kept them there so you guys could rightfully judge me as the idiot I am for not having perfectly on-point grammar and cognitive ability despite all these psych meds.

You right, the Placebo Effect is horrible and dangerous, why would we ever want to figure out why it works or how to harness it? Man, forgive me, I'm just so stupid and crazy. What I was thinking coming in here and bothering you nice, enlightened folks with all this shit.

I better love this cult too, "God" knows it's brought me enough financial ruin and social alienation that I'm much better off loving it than questioning it.

Sorry, gotta get to my mental health meeting, it's the only kind of in-person social interaction I have anymore since my fall from "normal" to  "boxed and labeled, subhuman failure" in our increasingly homogenous society.

At least my meds keep me from feeling the real brunt of the pain from it all.

My apologies again for even deigning to have thoughts that did not fit The Holy Narrative.

The other point that was either ignored or I didn't make well was that, since these people are being rendered victims of fraud due to the lack of legitimacy, another way to look at it would be to lend it more legitimacy so that there are more doctors who are BOTH regular medical doctors and certified in Homeopathy, therefore there will be more "good homeopaths" around.

I know it's mind-blowing, but they really do apparently exist.

If we have an issue from people killing themselves trying to do Homeopathy alone still in the 21st century, rather than further attack it, which alienates those people and made them seek their own alternative to begin with, we could stop some of the stigma and reformulate how we look at this. Maybe certify more regular doctors in it for the pursuit of further studying the Placebo Effect in a wise and ethical manner and better make  sure people aren't killing themselves out of distrust for one system or another.

You don't have to agree, I already said that I respect that you personally found my original comparison between Homeopathy  and Psychiatry non-apt. Don't even really know where this is going anymore beyond cyclical arguing intended to get me to ultimately say you're right about everything and I'm not.

Is that what you want?

Dude, you're right. I see the light. I have been talking foolish, and whole science of Psychiatry is totally legitimate. It's not at all even comparable to a pseudoscience. Imma start shitting all over anybody who thinks it might be, too, now. I love this Cult!