Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Aneristic Illusions => Topic started by: Frontside Back on July 23, 2019, 09:40:27 AM

Title: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
Post by: Frontside Back on July 23, 2019, 09:40:27 AM

The Golden Apple of the Middle East, "To the prettiest one" written on its side. It has and WILL start the War of
Troy over and over again until the end of time, or at least until the first major nuclear catastrophe.
No wonder the region Jerusalem inhabits is known as the most unstable in the world through the most of the citys
existence. The land around is soaked in blood, and the souls of all the raped, tortured, and murdered people haunt
the inhabitants of today to the point of madness. If nothing is done, Jerusalem will surely burrow its way straight
to the hell.

   That's where we come in. As discordians, we have as good claim to Jerusalem as any other religion, if not more.
So we gonna scheme the city under our control (How? I don't fucking know, do I look like a fucking strategy nerd?),
and use the power for good of humanity and profits.

When Jerusalem is ours, we are going to enslave most of the population with modern mind control chips.
Then they are going to begin the most huge construction project in the whole human history. Half of the slaves
make the city waterproof and floating, the other half dig a city sized canal all the way to the sea. After Jerusalem
has set sail, it is going to somehow end up landing in Antarctica, and we make tv history by documenting the first
massive scale penguin war.

You in?
Title: Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
Post by: Frontside Back on July 23, 2019, 10:08:25 AM
P.S. the Dome of Rock('n'roll) even LOOKS like a golden apple.
FFS LOOK AT IT!
(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/23/Jerusalem_%285%29.JPG)
Title: Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
Post by: Fujikoma on July 23, 2019, 01:55:08 PM
You're right, we have just as much right to claim the holy land. I may be a christian but I will claim this city in the name of Eris.
Title: Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
Post by: Fujikoma on July 23, 2019, 02:01:23 PM
If we are to be proper antagonists then it's about damn time we started acting the part. We're not just going to take Jerusalem, we're going to rename it. Its new name will be hotdog city, possibly the most disgusting thing I can come up with on a whim.
Title: Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
Post by: Frontside Back on July 23, 2019, 05:47:56 PM
I don't give a shit about the holy land, I just want the city. Deadline is a Monday in the next week.
Not telling you which one. Prove you are a conspiratory network not to be meddled with.

Like any proper conspiracy would.


e: (I claim this as the official Iran thread if/when/after/before/until the SHTF)
Title: Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
Post by: PopeTom on July 23, 2019, 05:59:34 PM
Do we really need another holy site?

Heck I've yet to go bowling in Whittier, CA despite constantly planning to do so.
Title: Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
Post by: Frontside Back on July 23, 2019, 06:07:19 PM
Quote from: PopeTom on July 23, 2019, 05:59:34 PM
Do we really need another holy site?

Heck I've yet to go bowling in Whittier, CA despite constantly planning to do so.
We can move Jerusalem to CA
Title: Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
Post by: LMNO on July 23, 2019, 07:18:34 PM
Jerusalem is, like, an attitude, man.
           /
:hippie:
Title: Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
Post by: Frontside Back on July 23, 2019, 07:54:45 PM
No. Literally, brick by brick in mail.
Title: Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
Post by: Al Qədic on July 23, 2019, 08:09:47 PM
Quote from: PopeTom on July 23, 2019, 05:59:34 PM
Do we really need another holy site?

Heck I've yet to go bowling in Whittier, CA despite constantly planning to do so.
The Brunswick Shrine ain't even a bowling alley anymore. Well, not the one in Whittier, anyway. Pretty sure there are a few others in California though.
Title: Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
Post by: PopeTom on July 23, 2019, 08:10:19 PM
Quote from: Frontside Back on July 23, 2019, 07:54:45 PM
No. Literally, brick by brick in mail.

Like how the old London Bridge was moved to Arizona?

SOLD!
Title: Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
Post by: PopeTom on July 23, 2019, 08:11:41 PM
Quote from: Al Qədic on July 23, 2019, 08:09:47 PM
Quote from: PopeTom on July 23, 2019, 05:59:34 PM
Do we really need another holy site?

Heck I've yet to go bowling in Whittier, CA despite constantly planning to do so.
The Brunswick Shrine ain't even a bowling alley anymore. Well, not the one in Whittier, anyway. Pretty sure there are a few others in California though.

Anywhere can be a bowling alley so long as you have a bowling ball to throw at stuff.

Like Sink but for people not near any body of water.
Title: Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
Post by: Frontside Back on July 23, 2019, 09:18:34 PM
Ok scratch everything,!¨¨

What is the max size of a bowling ball you can construct in Earth-gravity?

Architects? Physics?
Title: Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
Post by: PopeTom on July 24, 2019, 07:59:04 PM
"Give me a place to stand, and a lever long enough, and I will make the world a bowling ball. " ― Archimedes
Title: Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
Post by: Frontside Back on July 24, 2019, 08:16:48 PM
Quote from: PopeTom on July 24, 2019, 07:59:04 PM
"Give me a place to stand, and a lever long enough, and I will make the world a bowling ball. " ― Archimedes
There still has to be some material limits. Remember you gotta construct the pins too to have any good time.
Title: Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
Post by: The Johnny on July 25, 2019, 08:39:26 AM
Quote from: Frontside Back on July 24, 2019, 08:16:48 PM
Quote from: PopeTom on July 24, 2019, 07:59:04 PM
"Give me a place to stand, and a lever long enough, and I will make the world a bowling ball. " ― Archimedes
There still has to be some material limits. Remember you gotta construct the pins too to have any good time.

I've heard theres an asteroid heading our way and its due to arrive on October, in that case were not the bowling ball but the pin  :fap:
Title: Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
Post by: Frontside Back on July 25, 2019, 09:20:49 AM
Quote from: The Johnny on July 25, 2019, 08:39:26 AM


I've heard theres an asteroid heading our way and its due to arrive on October, in that case were not the bowling ball but the pin  :fap:
That's terrible! We have to send a rocket up there to ensure it hits only bad people!
Title: Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
Post by: Fujikoma on July 26, 2019, 12:19:46 PM
I'd be fine if it hit us, I'd get a few last moments of laughter at the end of my sad life to assure myself that you done goofed... and also it wasn't my fault. Anyway, how do we avoid being part of the "strike", I want at least an initial split, or I'm out.

EDIT: Yes, let's send a rocket of bad people at it... I don't think that'll divert much, but it's worth a shot, just remember me as a saint.
Title: Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
Post by: PopeTom on July 28, 2019, 10:29:40 PM
Quote from: Frontside Back on July 24, 2019, 08:16:48 PM
Quote from: PopeTom on July 24, 2019, 07:59:04 PM
"Give me a place to stand, and a lever long enough, and I will make the world a bowling ball. " ― Archimedes
There still has to be some material limits. Remember you gotta construct the pins too to have any good time.

Jupiter has like 60+ moons.

I bet some of them would make good pins.
Title: Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
Post by: Doktor Howl on July 29, 2019, 06:09:49 PM
Quote from: The Johnny on July 25, 2019, 08:39:26 AM
Quote from: Frontside Back on July 24, 2019, 08:16:48 PM
Quote from: PopeTom on July 24, 2019, 07:59:04 PM
"Give me a place to stand, and a lever long enough, and I will make the world a bowling ball. " ― Archimedes
There still has to be some material limits. Remember you gotta construct the pins too to have any good time.

I've heard theres an asteroid heading our way and its due to arrive on October, in that case were not the bowling ball but the pin  :fap:

People keep promising that.  :crankey:
Title: Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
Post by: Fujikoma on July 31, 2019, 04:13:47 AM
I, for one, welcome our new rocky overlords.