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Endorsement:  I know that all of you fucking discordians are just a bunch of haters who seem to do anything you can to distance yourself from fucking anarchists which is just fine and dandy sit in your house on your computer and type inane shite all day until your fingers fall off.

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#1
Apple Talk / Re: Tales from the Cutting Edg...
Last post by Doktor Howl - Yesterday at 09:15:43 PM
Meeting:

Old business: 2 hours.

New business:

Sally (NHRN):  "I was up all night last night, and I have decided that humans are not to be rescued.  Hamish was right, and robot doggies should go BRRRRRT."

Me: "I'll just get started on the paperwork, shall I?"

Incompetence Coordinator Phil:  "Wait.  What happened?"

Sally:  "What the fuck do you THINK just happened?"

ICP (love that acronym):  "The election?  What's wrong with that?"

*dead silence*

ICP:  "Things are going to get better in this country."

Me:  *GRIN*

Sally:  "No, Phil, things are not.  And before you open your jaw with some MAGA nonsense, I want you to very carefully read the expression on my face."

ICP:  "Wait.  You guys all voted for Harris?"

*Nine people nod*

Me:  "Just saying, ICP, you should very carefully consider the next thing you say."

ICP:  "Why?  I have the right to choose the way I vote, and I voted for Trump."

*Seven people grimace, 1 scowls, 1 GRINS even harder*

ICP:  "This isn't fair."

Me:  "OH MY GAWD HE'S FUCKING ADORABLE!"

Sally:  "There is no 'fair'.  You should walk out of this conference room and go coordinate some incompetence."

Me:  *jaw drop*

HR:  *jaw drop*

ICP: *leaves*

Me:  "Oh my god, Boss, we're going to do GREAT THINGS."

Sally:  "You can call me Sally now."

HR:  "But your name is..."

Sally: "My name is Sally.  And by this time tomorrow, I want ideas for mayhem."

Me:  "I have a bunch of..."

Sally:  "I know you do Hamish. Everything about you smells of death.  You're SICK.  But now I need everyone else to be sick. We will all be sick forever."

*room full of worried engineers*

Me:  "Relax, ladies and gentlemen.  This is all normal.  Anyways, I have about a million forms to fill out, and I need all of you to come by in alphabetical order by last name at 30 minute intervals so I can make sure you'll pass the federal background checks and whatnot."

Juan:  "I can't. I'm not a citizen."

Sally:  "If you can't, you can't.  You'll still have a job."

Juan:  "Doing what?"

Sally: "Finding sick clients.  We have two solid leads and Hamish knows every sick bastard in the country.  In the meantime, you still have to finish the doggies as they are to satisfy the grant. Meeting dismissed."

I can barely contain myself.
#2
Apple Talk / Re: I Just Marked All As Read
Last post by Dimocritus - Yesterday at 09:10:52 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on Yesterday at 09:00:11 PMYOU'RE FUCKED FOREVER!

Ha ha, too late
#3
Apple Talk / Re: I Just Marked All As Read
Last post by Doktor Howl - Yesterday at 09:00:11 PM
YOU'RE FUCKED FOREVER!
#4
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup ...
Last post by Doktor Howl - Yesterday at 08:59:40 PM
Quote from: Faust on Yesterday at 06:02:09 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on Yesterday at 04:57:59 PM
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on Yesterday at 01:29:25 PMI'm not surprised, but I am horrified.

I have been mentally preparing myself for this for months.

I feel bad for Ukraine, though.

Poland standing on high alert that they will be invaded for the last three months are now treating it as an inevitability, war in Europe is what trump wants: not because he is in bed with Putin, but because a weak EU is good for the US in his mind

I have never understood the idea that it is somehow good for your trade partners to be weak.
#5
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup ...
Last post by Faust - Yesterday at 06:02:09 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on Yesterday at 04:57:59 PM
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on Yesterday at 01:29:25 PMI'm not surprised, but I am horrified.

I have been mentally preparing myself for this for months.

I feel bad for Ukraine, though.

Poland standing on high alert that they will be invaded for the last three months are now treating it as an inevitability, war in Europe is what trump wants: not because he is in bed with Putin, but because a weak EU is good for the US in his mind
#6
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup ...
Last post by Dimocritus - Yesterday at 05:44:39 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on Yesterday at 05:38:21 PM
Quote from: Dimocritus on Yesterday at 05:27:46 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on Yesterday at 05:21:28 PM
Quote from: Dimocritus on Yesterday at 05:00:48 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on Yesterday at 04:55:40 PM
Quote from: Dimocritus on Yesterday at 04:11:40 PMBeen a hermit for like 6 years. Convince myself that people can't possibly be as stupid as I've been assuming, so I finally start planning to leave the house. Election happens. Back into my cave.

Problem spotted.  :lulz:

That's what I get for feeling optimistic for just one second

Optimism is a disease.

Unfortunately, so is dread

That's just the back of your mind updating the front of your mind.

I'm always running the latest version, and it updates daily. Never any cool new features, just dread, horror, and ads.
#7
Apple Talk / Re: Tales from the Cutting Edg...
Last post by Doktor Howl - Yesterday at 05:42:27 PM
Meeting with my boss.  I am told to bring my lunch with me and my tablet.

This should be good.
#8
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup ...
Last post by Doktor Howl - Yesterday at 05:38:21 PM
Quote from: Dimocritus on Yesterday at 05:27:46 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on Yesterday at 05:21:28 PM
Quote from: Dimocritus on Yesterday at 05:00:48 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on Yesterday at 04:55:40 PM
Quote from: Dimocritus on Yesterday at 04:11:40 PMBeen a hermit for like 6 years. Convince myself that people can't possibly be as stupid as I've been assuming, so I finally start planning to leave the house. Election happens. Back into my cave.

Problem spotted.  :lulz:

That's what I get for feeling optimistic for just one second

Optimism is a disease.

Unfortunately, so is dread

That's just the back of your mind updating the front of your mind.
#9
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup ...
Last post by Dimocritus - Yesterday at 05:27:46 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on Yesterday at 05:21:28 PM
Quote from: Dimocritus on Yesterday at 05:00:48 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on Yesterday at 04:55:40 PM
Quote from: Dimocritus on Yesterday at 04:11:40 PMBeen a hermit for like 6 years. Convince myself that people can't possibly be as stupid as I've been assuming, so I finally start planning to leave the house. Election happens. Back into my cave.

Problem spotted.  :lulz:

That's what I get for feeling optimistic for just one second

Optimism is a disease.

Unfortunately, so is dread
#10
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup ...
Last post by Doktor Howl - Yesterday at 05:21:44 PM
Quote from: Bruno on Yesterday at 05:00:37 PMI knew going into it that Harris/Trump was a coin flip, but I thought if he won it would be some electoral college bullshit.

I never even considered the possibility of Trump getting the popular vote. This shit is just unfuckingfathomable.

Same, same.