Well, this is something I've been writing for years, I figure I'll throw it out here and see what y'all think. It's just a collection of little lessons I've learned over the years and started jotting down to keep them clear, and develop them for my own edification and (hopefully) enlightenment.
The original comments are mine. The bold comments inbetween were added by my father, and the following comments are my replies.
Final note: #16 was written long before 9/11, when we were bogged down in 'police actions' and lovely little affairs like Somalia (sp?). The events of the past three years weren't at all what I had in mind. So if yer gonna bitch, please bitch about something else.
Without further ado...
Observations
By B. Scott Ihnen
1.) Most people listen to music while they are doing other things. Few people listen to music, as an end unto itself. This, combined with a vastly increased standard of living in modern history and various technological advancements, has resulted in a plethora of new music that is neither technically proficient nor insightful and moving. Excellence and meaning are unnecessary when music has been relegated to background noise.
On the other hand, there is also a plethora of highly proficient music representing an enormous variety of styles. Traditionally, good music stood out and was fairly easy to identify, today, it,Äôs a highly competitive business and many very good works get lost in the shuffle. It,Äôs almost as if the music itself was not important. Hype and image and timing are the game now as much as good music.(My point exactly. For if neither excellence nor meaning are required, what is left to make one stand out but image? This undermines the very purpose music serves - the expression of emotions and ideas, which today are as likely to be manufactured and reprocessed as image.)
2.) People usually have no further to look for the cause of their troubles than the mirror. However, they frequently begin their search far afield.
3.) Any attempt to control, modify or influence language is an attempt to control, modify or influence thought. This is almost always a bad thing. At its most benign it is a pointless argument over semantics.
To attempt control of language for the sake of civility in certain and specific situations and/or context is not necessarily an attempt to control thought.
(This use of control over language may be an example of the most benign application of such control, and may even be a worthy goal, but it is an attempt to modify the thought processes behind the language. One does not enforce civility in order to ensure civil language is used, one enforces civility in order to civilize people.)
4.) People act primarily out of fear.
Perhaps not primarily but to a great extent, yes.
5.) An obsession with superficial things - appearances, possessions, money - postulates dissatisfaction with the self.
6.) The responsibility for the horrors of Generation YY lies primarily with the generation that raised them. These are, unsurprisingly, largely the same people who seek to lay the blame upon the media or entertainment industries. These industries survive on their ability to provide an ever-widening audience with all the various entertainments that they desire. It is their own appetites, and their willingness to indulge their children,Äôs appetites that these irate soccer moms and family-values advocates rally against. Their own failure as parents lies hidden behind their enemy. I have often commented to others on the capacity for cruelty that children often have. Few have ever disagreed with me. But I doubt any recognized the same was as true of their own children as was true of the children they once knew or were. While there probably are some generational attitudinal differences related to changing times (science, technology, etc.)
I don,Äôt think the speed of communications, the availability of vast informational databases, increased competition and pressures to succeed were as strong in past generations and these things have had a major impact on society, the long-term effects we,Äôll probably not know fully for many years.
(I seriously doubt whether information technology has anything to do with people going postal or riddling their classmates with bullets. It has to do with lack of self-control, self-respect, respect for others, and basic decency. All of which can almost always be traced back to parenting and the basic attitudes instilled as one grows up - as you aptly point out in a later comment. I don't disagree that the information revolution will have an enormous impact. I'm just saying this isn't it.)
7.) Humanity is neither noble, nor sacred. Nothing capable of as much evil as we are could be sacred. And nobility is an achieved state. We are still far, far from it.
Nobility is a worthy goal but usually a fleeting condition.
(True.)
8.) The behavior of men towards women is one of our most revealing interactions. It is in our dealings with the ones we are closest to that our truest selves are revealed. I have known too many women too well to have a high opinion of my fellow man.
They,Äôre treated pretty bad. A waste of talent and energy that could significantly impact life if changed.
9.) We have become a society of victims because we are a society of victimizers. The hatred and violence of days past has not been purged from humanity. The Dark Ages, The Renaissance, The Industrial Revolution, The Atomic Age. The Information Age. We are not enlightened. We have put a civilized and righteous face on some of it, and hidden the rest away. And we have been slowly eating ourselves alive ever since. The young and the weak are always the prey of the strong. Our obvious conflicts have become social rather than physical. But they continue. And they are just as dangerous. Hunter, prey, weak and strong - it,Äôs an ingrained way of life, the ,Äònormal,Äô condition.
Humanity, kindness towards others (outside the immediate family) etc., are relatively new concepts and it will be a long time before they overcome the biological imperatives we are all saddled with.
(Well, yes. We're basically animals, the part that causes us trouble is that we don't like to think of ourselves as animals. We like to think of ourselves as special, as Favored of the Universe. We're not. One of the running themes in my Observations seems to be that troubles are rarely what they appear to be, or are thought of as.)
10.) I enjoyed the LA Riots. I probably couldn,Äôt say that had I been in them, but from an observer,Äôs standpoint, they were exhilarating. I enjoy it when society provides itself with an object lesson. The lesson is this: We are what we become when law and the mores of society become meaningless. We are animals. We may have evolved, but we are not evolved.
Patience. The impossible takes a little longer. Focusing on the negative too much tends to delay the very progress sought.
11.) We have, in a sense, removed ourselves from the natural order. Thanks to modern technology, the old and the sick do not die. We optimize the use of resources to support far more of our species than nature would allow to have even been born. Myself included most likely. It would be hypocritical of me to suggest abandoning such methods. But I do enjoy watching Mother Nature remind us of our place.
Technology - gene therapy, etc. - will vastly alter the natural order, probably in ways we,Äôll never understand fully. Interesting, beneficial but scary.
12.) Get dental insurance.
13.) Growing up has a civilizing force to it. It is unavoidable. In order to fit into society (and we almost all do - few are truly separate, no matter how far on the fringes they may appear or wish to be), people must learn to behave. Behavior from a child that would draw no more than a roll of the eyes or a finger wagging would have people backing away and calling for the police when performed by an adult.
In this way, children are far crueler than adults. Few adults have the courage to be truly evil. It is easy for children, whose sense of self-worth and moral center largely rests with the parents. If the parents have not taught him well, he will not act well. And he will have no remorse about doing so, as he has never been taught that it was wrong.
An acquaintance told me a story. His son and daughter-in-law, grandson, and another relative went out to dinner. While sitting on his son,Äôs lap, his grandson reached out and pinched a passing woman on the rear. His son was talking with the other adults, and did not see this happen. The woman turned around, getting his son,Äôs attention. He received a lethal stare from the offended woman who had of course assumed he was responsible, and was unable to figure out what he had done wrong. Then, his other relatives, who had seen the young boy,Äôs act, pointed out that the boy, not he, was the offending party. Then, they all had a good laugh about it.
Easy enough, because they all knew that the child didn,Äôt realize the taboo against what he had done. But no one made him realize it. What did the child learn from this incident? Children are always learning. Always. The child probably learned two things - pinching girls on the ass is ok if you do it right, and getting other people in trouble can be funny. While the former is certainly not socially acceptable, I think that the latter is the far worse lesson, and the one most likely to be overlooked.
Many people raise their children this way. Many were raised this way themselves.
The political trend to having schools and churches teach moral values might be helpful but parents have the ultimate responsibility. Seems in recent decades, they have been held less and less responsible. Too many other distractions, too many other activities, too little emphasis on basic values (not the oft-mentioned ,Äòfamily,Äô values).
(Indeed. The incidence of teen pregnancy should not be overlooked as a significant contributing factor, as well. While people such as those mentioned in the example above should know better, and could do better, most - not all, but undoubtedly most - teenage girls are not capable parents. Period. This ain't the middle ages, when you could marry off your daughter at thirteen if you really wanted to - you know, except in the Deep South. 'Old enough to bleed, old enough to breed' just doesn't cut it anymore. As much as it pains me to admit it, we live in a much more sophisticated society these days - if only because the much higher standard of living frees up the average commoner to concern himself with more sophisticated things. At fifteen, your average girl is not ready to exist in modern society - she'd be eaten alive on her own within months. She is certainly in no position to raise a capable, responsible, moral adult. But a whole lot of them have raised children. And a whole lot of their children have and are having children of their own.)
14.) Achieving a sense of self-worth in the total absence of others,Äô opinions is impossible if one must deal with others. No matter how confident you may be, you cannot fully suppress the desire to know if those around you value you as highly. Though I pride myself that my sense of self-worth is not founded in the beliefs of others, I must still have a small circle of friends to share in that opinion.
15.) Sometimes, the rule is simply a fa?ßade, and the exception does not prove, but rather is the true rule.
16.) In affairs of state, the mere possession of power is not enough. A willingness to use it must be demonstrated if it is to have the desired effect - namely, deterrence of aggression. Of late, our willingness to use the force at our disposal has been sparing and that force poorly used. Force spent unwisely is force wasted. The same is true of reputation. If our enemies do not fear us, it is only because we lack the will to make it so.
Ah, the hawk emerges. true
17.) No one achieves a position of power within our society without having been bought and sold on some level. As it is at the lowest levels of society, so it is at the highest. Only the trappings are different.
18.) It is amusing that many think our own society to be irredeemably puerile and wicked, and yet the Europeans see us as prudes.
We are both
(How true, how true.)
19.) It is not the politicians, but the businessmen who control our society. The politicians may run things, but they do so on behalf of their benefactors, not their constituents. Few individuals can afford to be as beneficent as a corporation can.
Government has always been controlled by religion, industrialist or militarists. The benefits to the people of a particular form of government is merely a side product, more extensive in some countries, less extensive in others. It often depends on the type of control being exerted and by whom. Politicians are merely the intermediaries. Personally, I,Äôll take the industrialists.
(Oh yes, by all means... bring on the plutocracy. I can't wait for that. Oh, wait... we pretty much are already, aren't we? I think that's my problem. I wish they did a better job of hiding it, instead of waving it around in my face. It pisses me off when I consider that the Constitution of the United States might actually be worth the paper it was written on.)
20.) Anyone looking for proof that money alone controls our government need look no further than the Reform Party. Third parties have been attempting to mount a threatening challenge against the two-party system for generations. It took a mad tycoon willing to part with a sizable portion of his massive personal fortune to accomplish the task. For this, his contribution to politics should be applauded. As a practical candidate, however, he brought little but entertainment value.
You might be overlooking the staying power and the potential draw of the green party, which is not as closely tied (yet) with the money set. I think it might fill an ideological void for many people and could become the country,Äôs first viable third party on a sustained basis.
(Look at what happened to the Reform party. Pat tried to co-opt it, ripped it apart and more or less came out on top. But mainstream America overwhelmingly rejected him - because they realize he's fucking crazy, I like to think - and he became a footnote to the campaign. The Greens? Mainly, they just pissed off the Democrats. Ralph did screw things up for Al, whether he like to admit it or not. The logical extension of my original Observation is that the 'money set' which controls our government has a vested interest in our two-party system (and it in them), and that any third party will be seen as a threat to that control. After all, a third player is just more money that has to be spent or less to go around, and who wants that? The only way that changes is if the general population makes it clear that they support a third party. Then, the so-called 'money set' will have to tell the Dems and the GOP to suck it up and make do with less, and they'll throw their lots in with whoever the public becomes enamored with. Which is why the current system is designed to present near-insurmountable hurdles to the establishment of a viable third party. The current government whores don't want some third bitch cutting into their fuck money.)
21.) It may be that no malady is more common today than lack of self-worth, which manifests itself in all manner of social evils: rudeness, pettiness, self-righteousness, and worst of all indifference.
True, and that goes back to the parents.
22.) A feeling of worth leads one to take one,Äôs own opinions seriously. A lack thereof leads one to look for opinions to agree with.
23.) Men and women can never be friends. It is not, as Harry said to Sally, because sex always gets in the way (though it often does). It is because men and women are different. Men and women can be lovers, associates, colleagues, peers, confidants, and more. But they will never truly and completely understand one another, and thus they cannot be friends.
Not sure I agree with this fully.
(Yeah, I'm not sure I support that statement 100% myself. But women are fucking nuts. I didn't articulate that the way I wanted to. It sounds a little harsh now.)
24.) It is difficult to hold someone responsible for poor behavior you know to be motivated by fears instilled by the abuses of others. As it is a lack of compassion that is one of the greatest social evils, there is a desire to spare that person any further pain, even if it is in their best interests to endure it. But those very fears will continue to dominate if not confronted. By sparing them, you serve them less.
Speak out in a kindly manner
(Kindness is always preferred. But there are times when the need for blunt honesty precludes strict adherence to rules of civility. In these cases, as I said above, if you care for someone you must do what is best for them, not what is the least unpleasant for them. Did that sound arrogant?)
25.) People are never what they seem to be. Never. We all wear masks, all the time.
26.) Never underestimate the duplicity of others.
27.) Loyalty or redemption? Which is the truer proof of worth? I haven,Äôt figured that one out yet, but at least I am aware of the question.
Redemption, it would seem, is predicated on an afterlife. Loyalty, on the other hand, is a day-to-day condition.
(Not necessarily. It depends upon to whom you are being redeemed. I was not speaking in terms of spiritual redemption, I was contrasting redemption - reproving one,Äôs self in light of a betrayal - with unbroken loyalty.)
28.) It,Äôs very easy and highly beneficial to your state of mind to plan things. In fact, one of the best things about planning things is that you can,Äôt actually be doing them at the time, but you still get a sense of accomplishment from the planning. In fact, if you plan enough, you may never have to do anything at all.
29.) You cannot love people for what they could be in your eyes, you must love them for what they are or not at all.
30.) People wrong one another all the time. Mostly this is done out of fear or ignorance or a combination of the two, and therefore is not truly evil. But this does not make it right, nor does it absolve responsibility for those wrongs.
Mostly out of ignorance and self-focus, I think. Not as much fear.
(No. People hurt each other out of fear all the time. Excessive self-focus is an extension of fear. As Hoffer observed, we treat others as we treat ourselves. We treat others poorly when we treat ourselves poorly. Most social evils can be traced back to a lack of self-worth and this breeds fear. Fear of one,Äôs own inferiority. This in turn leads to the disregard of others in the quest for some semblance of self-confidence. This is not to say that the guy who,Äôs rude to the clerk at 7-11 is scared she,Äôs better than him and getting back at her by being arrogant. At least not consciously.)
31.) Most people are capable of compassion, but sadly do not practice it.
Caring for someone other than yourself is inconvenient.
(You're telling me. Fuckin,Äô emotions. Who needs ,Äòem?)
32.) Confidence is not about being certain. It is about overcoming the fear that you could be wrong, and being willing to find out if you are.
good
(No, it sucks. But that's what it is.)
33.) Usually, when people avoid situations in order to spare others pain, it is not hurting others that they are avoiding. They are avoiding the pain they themselves feel for hurting others.
good
(Continuing, when the situation eventually arises, it's impact is much greater for having been withheld for so long. The secret long kept, and all that. And so, out of fear for themselves, they hurt others. As I said earlier, people hurt each other out of fear all the time, and it is a primary motivator in their actions.)
34a.) People see what they want to see. And they do not ask questions that require answers they are not prepared to accept.
34b.) This is a two-fold truth. It means on the one hand, that those who do not wish to know will avoid asking questions if the answers to those questions will rid them of their ignorance. Conversely, it also means that when a question is asked, an answer is expected and deserved. One should never discourage curiosity in the name of expediency or fear. Especially in a child, for once one crosses over to the other side of this truth, it is difficult to return.
35.) Regret is a dark and terrible prison.
36.) Understanding is the key. Understanding why you do the things that you do, and understanding why those around you do the things they do, leaves you able to make better decisions than you have made. Understanding is where learning begins, and knowing why things happen - the reasons behind actions - is the key to understanding. ,ÄúWhy?,Äù is always the most important question.
You realize this will be a lifelong quest, sometimes frustrating but often very exciting (a sense of excitement that,Äôs difficult to share with others). I really think this is important and I,Äôm glad you ,Äòpicked up,Äô on it.
37a.) Understanding is a three-edged sword.
(Shout-Out to Kosh, my main Vorlon, and the Almighty JMS)
37b.) Your side, their side and the truth, for those who don,Äôt know.
38.) As we get older we get smaller, but we grow. - Larry P. Ihnen, 3/25/03
39.) There is nothing which causes one quite so much frustration and irritation as a good friend, one to whom you feel indebted and who has earned your respect, that has developed certain patterns of behavior you find to be not offensive or egregious, but only slightly annoying. You can hold your tongue and ignore it for a time, but your displeasure will soon turn to anger, and then contempt, until your rage far exceeds the severity of your friend,Äôs behavior. Knowing your anger to be disproportionate, you still hold it in, and instead withdraw, lessening contact with your friend so as to avoid building your anger further. Eventually, you will drift apart completely; one of you will never know why, and the other will always know it did not have to be. This is how friendships die - not from sudden betrayal or acts of malice; but quietly and slowly, as if bleeding out from a thousand tiny cuts.
----
Or kill Roger.
-CF
The original comments are mine. The bold comments inbetween were added by my father, and the following comments are my replies.
Final note: #16 was written long before 9/11, when we were bogged down in 'police actions' and lovely little affairs like Somalia (sp?). The events of the past three years weren't at all what I had in mind. So if yer gonna bitch, please bitch about something else.
Without further ado...
Observations
By B. Scott Ihnen
1.) Most people listen to music while they are doing other things. Few people listen to music, as an end unto itself. This, combined with a vastly increased standard of living in modern history and various technological advancements, has resulted in a plethora of new music that is neither technically proficient nor insightful and moving. Excellence and meaning are unnecessary when music has been relegated to background noise.
On the other hand, there is also a plethora of highly proficient music representing an enormous variety of styles. Traditionally, good music stood out and was fairly easy to identify, today, it,Äôs a highly competitive business and many very good works get lost in the shuffle. It,Äôs almost as if the music itself was not important. Hype and image and timing are the game now as much as good music.(My point exactly. For if neither excellence nor meaning are required, what is left to make one stand out but image? This undermines the very purpose music serves - the expression of emotions and ideas, which today are as likely to be manufactured and reprocessed as image.)
2.) People usually have no further to look for the cause of their troubles than the mirror. However, they frequently begin their search far afield.
3.) Any attempt to control, modify or influence language is an attempt to control, modify or influence thought. This is almost always a bad thing. At its most benign it is a pointless argument over semantics.
To attempt control of language for the sake of civility in certain and specific situations and/or context is not necessarily an attempt to control thought.
(This use of control over language may be an example of the most benign application of such control, and may even be a worthy goal, but it is an attempt to modify the thought processes behind the language. One does not enforce civility in order to ensure civil language is used, one enforces civility in order to civilize people.)
4.) People act primarily out of fear.
Perhaps not primarily but to a great extent, yes.
5.) An obsession with superficial things - appearances, possessions, money - postulates dissatisfaction with the self.
6.) The responsibility for the horrors of Generation YY lies primarily with the generation that raised them. These are, unsurprisingly, largely the same people who seek to lay the blame upon the media or entertainment industries. These industries survive on their ability to provide an ever-widening audience with all the various entertainments that they desire. It is their own appetites, and their willingness to indulge their children,Äôs appetites that these irate soccer moms and family-values advocates rally against. Their own failure as parents lies hidden behind their enemy. I have often commented to others on the capacity for cruelty that children often have. Few have ever disagreed with me. But I doubt any recognized the same was as true of their own children as was true of the children they once knew or were. While there probably are some generational attitudinal differences related to changing times (science, technology, etc.)
I don,Äôt think the speed of communications, the availability of vast informational databases, increased competition and pressures to succeed were as strong in past generations and these things have had a major impact on society, the long-term effects we,Äôll probably not know fully for many years.
(I seriously doubt whether information technology has anything to do with people going postal or riddling their classmates with bullets. It has to do with lack of self-control, self-respect, respect for others, and basic decency. All of which can almost always be traced back to parenting and the basic attitudes instilled as one grows up - as you aptly point out in a later comment. I don't disagree that the information revolution will have an enormous impact. I'm just saying this isn't it.)
7.) Humanity is neither noble, nor sacred. Nothing capable of as much evil as we are could be sacred. And nobility is an achieved state. We are still far, far from it.
Nobility is a worthy goal but usually a fleeting condition.
(True.)
8.) The behavior of men towards women is one of our most revealing interactions. It is in our dealings with the ones we are closest to that our truest selves are revealed. I have known too many women too well to have a high opinion of my fellow man.
They,Äôre treated pretty bad. A waste of talent and energy that could significantly impact life if changed.
9.) We have become a society of victims because we are a society of victimizers. The hatred and violence of days past has not been purged from humanity. The Dark Ages, The Renaissance, The Industrial Revolution, The Atomic Age. The Information Age. We are not enlightened. We have put a civilized and righteous face on some of it, and hidden the rest away. And we have been slowly eating ourselves alive ever since. The young and the weak are always the prey of the strong. Our obvious conflicts have become social rather than physical. But they continue. And they are just as dangerous. Hunter, prey, weak and strong - it,Äôs an ingrained way of life, the ,Äònormal,Äô condition.
Humanity, kindness towards others (outside the immediate family) etc., are relatively new concepts and it will be a long time before they overcome the biological imperatives we are all saddled with.
(Well, yes. We're basically animals, the part that causes us trouble is that we don't like to think of ourselves as animals. We like to think of ourselves as special, as Favored of the Universe. We're not. One of the running themes in my Observations seems to be that troubles are rarely what they appear to be, or are thought of as.)
10.) I enjoyed the LA Riots. I probably couldn,Äôt say that had I been in them, but from an observer,Äôs standpoint, they were exhilarating. I enjoy it when society provides itself with an object lesson. The lesson is this: We are what we become when law and the mores of society become meaningless. We are animals. We may have evolved, but we are not evolved.
Patience. The impossible takes a little longer. Focusing on the negative too much tends to delay the very progress sought.
11.) We have, in a sense, removed ourselves from the natural order. Thanks to modern technology, the old and the sick do not die. We optimize the use of resources to support far more of our species than nature would allow to have even been born. Myself included most likely. It would be hypocritical of me to suggest abandoning such methods. But I do enjoy watching Mother Nature remind us of our place.
Technology - gene therapy, etc. - will vastly alter the natural order, probably in ways we,Äôll never understand fully. Interesting, beneficial but scary.
12.) Get dental insurance.
13.) Growing up has a civilizing force to it. It is unavoidable. In order to fit into society (and we almost all do - few are truly separate, no matter how far on the fringes they may appear or wish to be), people must learn to behave. Behavior from a child that would draw no more than a roll of the eyes or a finger wagging would have people backing away and calling for the police when performed by an adult.
In this way, children are far crueler than adults. Few adults have the courage to be truly evil. It is easy for children, whose sense of self-worth and moral center largely rests with the parents. If the parents have not taught him well, he will not act well. And he will have no remorse about doing so, as he has never been taught that it was wrong.
An acquaintance told me a story. His son and daughter-in-law, grandson, and another relative went out to dinner. While sitting on his son,Äôs lap, his grandson reached out and pinched a passing woman on the rear. His son was talking with the other adults, and did not see this happen. The woman turned around, getting his son,Äôs attention. He received a lethal stare from the offended woman who had of course assumed he was responsible, and was unable to figure out what he had done wrong. Then, his other relatives, who had seen the young boy,Äôs act, pointed out that the boy, not he, was the offending party. Then, they all had a good laugh about it.
Easy enough, because they all knew that the child didn,Äôt realize the taboo against what he had done. But no one made him realize it. What did the child learn from this incident? Children are always learning. Always. The child probably learned two things - pinching girls on the ass is ok if you do it right, and getting other people in trouble can be funny. While the former is certainly not socially acceptable, I think that the latter is the far worse lesson, and the one most likely to be overlooked.
Many people raise their children this way. Many were raised this way themselves.
The political trend to having schools and churches teach moral values might be helpful but parents have the ultimate responsibility. Seems in recent decades, they have been held less and less responsible. Too many other distractions, too many other activities, too little emphasis on basic values (not the oft-mentioned ,Äòfamily,Äô values).
(Indeed. The incidence of teen pregnancy should not be overlooked as a significant contributing factor, as well. While people such as those mentioned in the example above should know better, and could do better, most - not all, but undoubtedly most - teenage girls are not capable parents. Period. This ain't the middle ages, when you could marry off your daughter at thirteen if you really wanted to - you know, except in the Deep South. 'Old enough to bleed, old enough to breed' just doesn't cut it anymore. As much as it pains me to admit it, we live in a much more sophisticated society these days - if only because the much higher standard of living frees up the average commoner to concern himself with more sophisticated things. At fifteen, your average girl is not ready to exist in modern society - she'd be eaten alive on her own within months. She is certainly in no position to raise a capable, responsible, moral adult. But a whole lot of them have raised children. And a whole lot of their children have and are having children of their own.)
14.) Achieving a sense of self-worth in the total absence of others,Äô opinions is impossible if one must deal with others. No matter how confident you may be, you cannot fully suppress the desire to know if those around you value you as highly. Though I pride myself that my sense of self-worth is not founded in the beliefs of others, I must still have a small circle of friends to share in that opinion.
15.) Sometimes, the rule is simply a fa?ßade, and the exception does not prove, but rather is the true rule.
16.) In affairs of state, the mere possession of power is not enough. A willingness to use it must be demonstrated if it is to have the desired effect - namely, deterrence of aggression. Of late, our willingness to use the force at our disposal has been sparing and that force poorly used. Force spent unwisely is force wasted. The same is true of reputation. If our enemies do not fear us, it is only because we lack the will to make it so.
Ah, the hawk emerges. true
17.) No one achieves a position of power within our society without having been bought and sold on some level. As it is at the lowest levels of society, so it is at the highest. Only the trappings are different.
18.) It is amusing that many think our own society to be irredeemably puerile and wicked, and yet the Europeans see us as prudes.
We are both
(How true, how true.)
19.) It is not the politicians, but the businessmen who control our society. The politicians may run things, but they do so on behalf of their benefactors, not their constituents. Few individuals can afford to be as beneficent as a corporation can.
Government has always been controlled by religion, industrialist or militarists. The benefits to the people of a particular form of government is merely a side product, more extensive in some countries, less extensive in others. It often depends on the type of control being exerted and by whom. Politicians are merely the intermediaries. Personally, I,Äôll take the industrialists.
(Oh yes, by all means... bring on the plutocracy. I can't wait for that. Oh, wait... we pretty much are already, aren't we? I think that's my problem. I wish they did a better job of hiding it, instead of waving it around in my face. It pisses me off when I consider that the Constitution of the United States might actually be worth the paper it was written on.)
20.) Anyone looking for proof that money alone controls our government need look no further than the Reform Party. Third parties have been attempting to mount a threatening challenge against the two-party system for generations. It took a mad tycoon willing to part with a sizable portion of his massive personal fortune to accomplish the task. For this, his contribution to politics should be applauded. As a practical candidate, however, he brought little but entertainment value.
You might be overlooking the staying power and the potential draw of the green party, which is not as closely tied (yet) with the money set. I think it might fill an ideological void for many people and could become the country,Äôs first viable third party on a sustained basis.
(Look at what happened to the Reform party. Pat tried to co-opt it, ripped it apart and more or less came out on top. But mainstream America overwhelmingly rejected him - because they realize he's fucking crazy, I like to think - and he became a footnote to the campaign. The Greens? Mainly, they just pissed off the Democrats. Ralph did screw things up for Al, whether he like to admit it or not. The logical extension of my original Observation is that the 'money set' which controls our government has a vested interest in our two-party system (and it in them), and that any third party will be seen as a threat to that control. After all, a third player is just more money that has to be spent or less to go around, and who wants that? The only way that changes is if the general population makes it clear that they support a third party. Then, the so-called 'money set' will have to tell the Dems and the GOP to suck it up and make do with less, and they'll throw their lots in with whoever the public becomes enamored with. Which is why the current system is designed to present near-insurmountable hurdles to the establishment of a viable third party. The current government whores don't want some third bitch cutting into their fuck money.)
21.) It may be that no malady is more common today than lack of self-worth, which manifests itself in all manner of social evils: rudeness, pettiness, self-righteousness, and worst of all indifference.
True, and that goes back to the parents.
22.) A feeling of worth leads one to take one,Äôs own opinions seriously. A lack thereof leads one to look for opinions to agree with.
23.) Men and women can never be friends. It is not, as Harry said to Sally, because sex always gets in the way (though it often does). It is because men and women are different. Men and women can be lovers, associates, colleagues, peers, confidants, and more. But they will never truly and completely understand one another, and thus they cannot be friends.
Not sure I agree with this fully.
(Yeah, I'm not sure I support that statement 100% myself. But women are fucking nuts. I didn't articulate that the way I wanted to. It sounds a little harsh now.)
24.) It is difficult to hold someone responsible for poor behavior you know to be motivated by fears instilled by the abuses of others. As it is a lack of compassion that is one of the greatest social evils, there is a desire to spare that person any further pain, even if it is in their best interests to endure it. But those very fears will continue to dominate if not confronted. By sparing them, you serve them less.
Speak out in a kindly manner
(Kindness is always preferred. But there are times when the need for blunt honesty precludes strict adherence to rules of civility. In these cases, as I said above, if you care for someone you must do what is best for them, not what is the least unpleasant for them. Did that sound arrogant?)
25.) People are never what they seem to be. Never. We all wear masks, all the time.
26.) Never underestimate the duplicity of others.
27.) Loyalty or redemption? Which is the truer proof of worth? I haven,Äôt figured that one out yet, but at least I am aware of the question.
Redemption, it would seem, is predicated on an afterlife. Loyalty, on the other hand, is a day-to-day condition.
(Not necessarily. It depends upon to whom you are being redeemed. I was not speaking in terms of spiritual redemption, I was contrasting redemption - reproving one,Äôs self in light of a betrayal - with unbroken loyalty.)
28.) It,Äôs very easy and highly beneficial to your state of mind to plan things. In fact, one of the best things about planning things is that you can,Äôt actually be doing them at the time, but you still get a sense of accomplishment from the planning. In fact, if you plan enough, you may never have to do anything at all.
29.) You cannot love people for what they could be in your eyes, you must love them for what they are or not at all.
30.) People wrong one another all the time. Mostly this is done out of fear or ignorance or a combination of the two, and therefore is not truly evil. But this does not make it right, nor does it absolve responsibility for those wrongs.
Mostly out of ignorance and self-focus, I think. Not as much fear.
(No. People hurt each other out of fear all the time. Excessive self-focus is an extension of fear. As Hoffer observed, we treat others as we treat ourselves. We treat others poorly when we treat ourselves poorly. Most social evils can be traced back to a lack of self-worth and this breeds fear. Fear of one,Äôs own inferiority. This in turn leads to the disregard of others in the quest for some semblance of self-confidence. This is not to say that the guy who,Äôs rude to the clerk at 7-11 is scared she,Äôs better than him and getting back at her by being arrogant. At least not consciously.)
31.) Most people are capable of compassion, but sadly do not practice it.
Caring for someone other than yourself is inconvenient.
(You're telling me. Fuckin,Äô emotions. Who needs ,Äòem?)
32.) Confidence is not about being certain. It is about overcoming the fear that you could be wrong, and being willing to find out if you are.
good
(No, it sucks. But that's what it is.)
33.) Usually, when people avoid situations in order to spare others pain, it is not hurting others that they are avoiding. They are avoiding the pain they themselves feel for hurting others.
good
(Continuing, when the situation eventually arises, it's impact is much greater for having been withheld for so long. The secret long kept, and all that. And so, out of fear for themselves, they hurt others. As I said earlier, people hurt each other out of fear all the time, and it is a primary motivator in their actions.)
34a.) People see what they want to see. And they do not ask questions that require answers they are not prepared to accept.
34b.) This is a two-fold truth. It means on the one hand, that those who do not wish to know will avoid asking questions if the answers to those questions will rid them of their ignorance. Conversely, it also means that when a question is asked, an answer is expected and deserved. One should never discourage curiosity in the name of expediency or fear. Especially in a child, for once one crosses over to the other side of this truth, it is difficult to return.
35.) Regret is a dark and terrible prison.
36.) Understanding is the key. Understanding why you do the things that you do, and understanding why those around you do the things they do, leaves you able to make better decisions than you have made. Understanding is where learning begins, and knowing why things happen - the reasons behind actions - is the key to understanding. ,ÄúWhy?,Äù is always the most important question.
You realize this will be a lifelong quest, sometimes frustrating but often very exciting (a sense of excitement that,Äôs difficult to share with others). I really think this is important and I,Äôm glad you ,Äòpicked up,Äô on it.
37a.) Understanding is a three-edged sword.
(Shout-Out to Kosh, my main Vorlon, and the Almighty JMS)
37b.) Your side, their side and the truth, for those who don,Äôt know.
38.) As we get older we get smaller, but we grow. - Larry P. Ihnen, 3/25/03
39.) There is nothing which causes one quite so much frustration and irritation as a good friend, one to whom you feel indebted and who has earned your respect, that has developed certain patterns of behavior you find to be not offensive or egregious, but only slightly annoying. You can hold your tongue and ignore it for a time, but your displeasure will soon turn to anger, and then contempt, until your rage far exceeds the severity of your friend,Äôs behavior. Knowing your anger to be disproportionate, you still hold it in, and instead withdraw, lessening contact with your friend so as to avoid building your anger further. Eventually, you will drift apart completely; one of you will never know why, and the other will always know it did not have to be. This is how friendships die - not from sudden betrayal or acts of malice; but quietly and slowly, as if bleeding out from a thousand tiny cuts.
----
Or kill Roger.
-CF