Principia Discordia

http://www.dearcoketalk.com/

question and answer format blog of sorts.

some of this is borderline NSFW, but it's all text.  There's one in particular, second down on page two that I wont repost here, but is full of  :lulz:  If anything jumps out as NWS in this post, let me know and I'll cut it.

notable posts so far:

Quote

I think questions about God in a freshman philosophy course are completely irrelevant. I know that my professor warps the subject and her lectures are shit, so maybe if someone put a better spin on it, they would at least be more interesting.


Wrong, shithead. Philosophy classes are exactly where questions about god are relevant. That's the whole fucking point of philosophy.

Debate and discussion about the existence, definition, and value of god are vital to your development as a free-thinking individual, and there's no better place to work that shit out than within an academic discipline devoted to systematic reason and rational argument.

Sharpen your critical thinking. Develop your logic. Send your rational mind into battle against the unanswerable questions of the human condition.

This isn't about what you believe. It's about advancing the level of sophistication of your beliefs.

Good luck.

QuoteWhy would a guy that likes a girl ignore her over the phone, yet, clearly show that he's head over heels in person?

Proximity to your pussy.

QuoteThe man I'm fucking is in love with my best friend. He treats her with respect, and he treats me like nothing. Guess this is what I get for fucking him, right?

No, this is what you get for thinking your vagina is a hole through which respect passes.

QuoteWhat do YOU think happens when we die?

We rot in the ground for a hot minute. That's it, dude. Our consciousness simply ceases to exist. Don't worry. It's no big deal. You didn't exist for the first fourteen billion years, and you won't exist for the next fourteen billion either.

QuoteWhat gets your furthest in life: Good looks, social skills, or intelligence?
Showing up.

QuoteI'm a fairly normal teenage girl with shitty self image issues. How would you advise I go about fixing that?
Quit being a fairly normal teenage girl.

QuoteWhy doesn't my boyfriend want to go down on me?
Your pussy smells.

OH MY FUCKING GOD.....  This woman is amazing....

My favorite from today.....

QuoteI have been sexually involved  with a big name in the local club scene for the last four months. About two weeks ago I went to my gynecologist for a check up and was given terrible news: I have herpes. As soon as I received the diagnosis, I met up with my fuck buddy and told him the news and that if he didn't warn the other girls he was fucking, I would.

One of these said girls used to be a close friend in high school and I know for a fact he has not said anything and is still sexually involved with him. We are no longer close, in fact we supposedly hate each other, yet I would honestly hate for this girl I once trusted with my life to get herpes from this asshole (not to mention the 3 other girls I know he is also fucking). Should I tell my ex-best friend to stop fucking him and get checked? Should I tell the other girls as well? Should I get back at the asshole and tell everybody he has herpes? I haven't told anybody yet, I figured if anyone knew the right thing to do in this tricky situation, it would be you. HELP!!


Translation, "After getting the herp from my rancid-cocked towny DJ, I'm tempted to carpet bomb his pussy posse with the bad news that everyone's genitalia is a biohazard. Should I exact my revenge by pretending to do the right thing, or should I protect what's left of my reputation by not alerting the world that my vagina lights up like a christmas tree?"

Yeah, tough call. Hallmark doesn't have a card for this kind of tacky shit, but at the very least you should probably pull a Snooki and send the bitches a homemade email (http://www.inspot.org/) or note (http://www.cafepress.com/+herpes_greeting_card,239318450) to inform them that they may have contracted herpes. If you do, keep it private and anonymous. There's no need to embarrass anyone, nor should you have ulterior motives of revenge.

Also, don't go telling everybody the dude has herpes. Starting rumors is nothing but drama, and I can tell from here you're not smart enough to spread shit without getting any on you. I promise, it won't be worth it.

Just cut your losses, take your Valtrex, and move on.

:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

I am in awe.

Especially that last one.

I've only met one woman in my life who reminds me of this one.  Doesn't parse words, cusses like a sailor, hot as hell..  It was a chance encounter, instant chemistry, a hot, steamy trist, then she moved to NYC and never plans to live here again.
 
But man, is she the fucking tits.  Think I'll drop her this link.

The entire fucking site is  :lulz:

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 10, 2011, 04:02:16 PM
I am in awe.

Especially that last one.

QuoteAfter getting the herp from my rancid-cocked towny DJ, I'm tempted to carpet bomb his pussy posse with the bad news that everyone's genitalia is a biohazard.

This line is pure gold.  GOLD!

Quote

My roommate Chris is a legend. He moved in 6 months ago and is someone who I'm sure will be a friend for life.

Problem is, he has this annoying cockatiel. It's an utterly terrible pet. It makes noises like a car alarm and let's just say it's a morning bird. It's also unfriendly, even to Chris, biting the hand that feeds.

For some reason he loves this bird. Personally, I think it would be better for both of us if it was gone. We've talked about it but he's too attached. I don't get it- this thing has the pointlessness of a fish combined with the noise of a dog. An absolute mood killer.

I've thought long and hard but get the shakes every time my hand gets near the cage door. What should I do?


Your hand shakes, eh? You want the bird gone, but you don't have what it takes to do what needs to be done?

Yeah, well. I know a guy. Ex-military, a real professional. He knows how to deal with your particular problem. He works fast, and he can keep a secret.

I think it's time you brought in The Colonel.

(http://img707.imageshack.us/img707/6713/1258362448.png)

Okay.  Where do I sign to be a professional bitch, and how much does it pay?   :lulz:

Quote from: Luna on March 10, 2011, 04:39:09 PM
Okay.  Where do I sign to be a professional bitch, and how much does it pay?   :lulz:

Hell I will do it for free.....

This should be a Fucking Bitch Cabal project....


YO JENNE!  Whatcha think girlfriend?

Oh.

My.

God.



This girl could be my hetero lifemate.

Sweet Eris they just keep getting better the deeper I get.   

Quote

Do you look forward to the extinction of humankind? I sure do, I feel like the most beautiful thing that humans could achieve would be to finally die off and let the good earth try to heal itself. When I say this to close family members they never agree and sometimes are angry at me, calling me morbid. There isn't anything more morbid than our species smothering and poisoning every other one on the planet. I'm not worried about being judged, just worried about those who are reproducing and those who want to cure major human diseases.


The good earth? You fucking idiot. The earth is an ethically inert mud ball hurtling around an amoral little star in an infinitely vast universe that is neither good nor evil. On a geological time scale, the measurable effect of our species on the planet is an insignificant burp.

It takes the human condition to color the world with value judgments, and yours are self-hating and silly. Besides, we're not going to make it anyway. Not at our current stage of evolution, and certainly not if we stick around this corner of the solar system. 99.9% of all species that have ever existed on earth are now extinct, and one day we will be too. We aren't that fucking special.

Does that mean we should wish for our annihilation? Fuck no. Only arrogant malcontents think like that. All you're doing is projecting your own self loathing onto a species-centric world view, one that's no different from the ignorant fucks who think we were put on the planet to rule over the animals.

Humanity is a fleeting and beautiful experience, the sum total of which probably won't count for shit in the long run. So what? Don't resent your species. It's a wasted emotion based on a primitive way of thinking.

If you really look forward to the extinction of humankind, then do your part and kill yourself. Otherwise, shut the fuck up and enjoy the ride.

Awesome find.

She's amazing. :D

I want to use the question feature to invite her here.  Should I?

Quote from: Sigmatic on March 10, 2011, 06:21:31 PM
I want to use the question feature to invite her here.  Should I?

I imagine she's busy as fuck with her new writing gig, but I'm getting the scent that she's a net rat herself, so she'd probably make time to come check out paint.  Link her to some of the projects maybe. 

Pickled..

:mittens: :mittens: :mittens: :mittens: :mittens: :mittens:

This is awesome!!!  You did real good!!!!

Ha!  Her blogging sounds like natalie dee!  :D  I like dis.  A lot.

Quote from: Khara on March 10, 2011, 07:54:54 PM
Pickled..

:mittens: :mittens: :mittens: :mittens: :mittens: :mittens:

This is awesome!!!  You did real good!!!!

Hey, I just shared it.  Can't take credit for it.

I can't think of more snarky, filterless, funny, or more 169% deserving people to share it with than you fine folks. 

She'd fit right in here.

Quote

I have no problem in admitting when it comes to men, looks tend to come first.  For a while that look has been the grungy hipster one.  Now I'm an 18 year old, Urban Outfitter-working, indie show-attending, attractive girl from San Francisco who's moving out to LA next month. I've never had problems with finding an assortment of the type in NorCal, but to be honest I really  don't know much about the scene down south.

What advice/tips do you have in terms of finding the quality hipster men of Los Angeles?


Can't wait to get beard rash on your inner thighs? Here, bitch, let me get you Dov Charney's personal cell phone number. We'll have you in a tank thong on dirty sheets faster than you can say "Spaceland hand stamp."

Yeah, right.

I respect the effort that went in to crafting this hilariously full-of-shit question, but you oversold the premise on this one big time. An attractive eighteen year old working at Urban Outfitters? In San Francisco? You've got to be joking.

Not even the ugly girl at Forever 21 would type "the quality hipster men of Los Angeles" with a straight face.

Better luck next time, Carles.

:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

having. difficulty. breathing.

Okay, that's it.

Guys, we need you to write up questions as spectacularly stupid as these.  Ladies, answer 'em, tear them entirely new and interesting orifices in which to insert random sharp objects.

We set up a blog, sell ad space, and all make out like bandits.   :lulz:

Quote from: Luna on March 10, 2011, 09:55:48 PM
Okay, that's it.

Guys, we need you to write up questions as spectacularly stupid as these.  Ladies, answer 'em, tear them entirely new and interesting orifices in which to insert random sharp objects.

We set up a blog, sell ad space, and all make out like bandits.   :lulz:

I say we all post questions to her as if she were a proper, sympathetic agony aunt.

I approve of this spaggotry. I also think we should GASM her, similar to Colbert, after a while.

I must have sex with this woman...

...if only to experience the rare instance in which she flat out tells me "My god, who the hell lied to you and made you think you are any better at that than a salted cucumber?"

The unabashed honesty... it's... so... beautiful I could crank one out right now.

Just to point out: she seems to think Charlie Sheen is awesome. Now.

...there are worse things to think that are awesome...

Quote from: Jenne on March 11, 2011, 05:01:43 AM
...there are worse things to think that are awesome...

Hey, I agree with her. Charlie Sheen may or may not be a misogynistic dick, but I kinda like him. Now. 

http://www.dearcoketalk.com/post/3435070818/on-fucking-right-back


Oh my God,  :lulz:

Quotehow much cock do you suck before you do 2keys of coke of a strangers rock hard cock. also, how does a flat dried up cunt like yourself get a cock hard enough to snort noodles off of, let alone cocaine? i bet its hard, like watching all your friends from the last 200 years write a will whilst you still think you're young enough to go clubbing like the fuck slut cum whore gorilla ogre vulture wanna be cougar you are. cougars are hot, i'd fuck a cougar/ but you're like... a god damn sabre tooth tiger. maybe back in the day... but now? hot shit damn fuck I'm outmatched. Gimme one that can get wet and slick my stroke. Not have a stroke while slicking my stick. fuck off, get it wet. if you cant get it wet... well when it comes to men if you can't get it wet you can't get it yet. deal with it. lube your nasty little fuck slit. we can lube it for you for round 2. but we gotta cum in it to once to lube it for twice. fuck off. they sell lube on every corner you dumb cunts. get some. i'd fuck half of you cougars if your pussies weren't so damn dry/ like the sahara in that cunt. tried fucking a cougar 3 times.... shits like sandpaper mixed with flypaper. its not that hard. get it ready, and a guy from 16-61 will love it. tight, wet, slick. 3-4 minutes and hes spurting like your pussies have been hurting for a hard cock. if that's not enough. come get some from me. i love a tight cougar pussy. ill fuck one any day, any time. long as you're up for round 2 a little later. i'd also love some ass. yeah that's right i love to fuck ass too. get your stink on my wink. smoke some grass while i fuck your tight ass. cougars who have never been preferred. 40 year + untapped assholes.... I'm trying not to cum right now. so tight. so fresh. pound your ass right onto my flesh. right now. any unfucked cougar ass. give me some skin. fuck it like youd suck it. on that note suck it like you would help a lady who was stuck. in a building from the war.we save those cunts from war so theyll fuck us like a whore. any lass id save id fuck like a duck. id make an honest woman out of her sure, but only if she can fuck and suck like sister parish. if not, the HEADmistress can keep on CUMMING on.

QuoteWow. You're a magnificent idiot.

I mean, sure, people submit stupid shit like this all the time, and while I'll give you credit for the sheer bulk of your obscenity, I have to say, you still fucked up big time.

You see, for whatever reason, you decided not to submit this through my anonymous form. Instead, you sent it directly to me through your gmail account.

Maybe you didn't think about it. Maybe you didn't care. Either way, you made the awesome mistake of sending a message like this with your full name still attached to it.

You jackass. Don't you know who you're dealing with? If you fuck with me, even for fun, I fuck right back, and in your case, it was all too easy.

You have a very unusual surname, and it took three fucking clicks to learn the name of your mother (Michele with one L) to whom I forwarded this message on your behalf.

That's right, fucko. Say hey to your mom for me.

<3 so much love.  :D

Her style reminds me of the early Violent Acres (http://www.violentacres.com/), only somewhat more so.  And more sweary.  V, even when mercilessly trolling "mommybloggers" (an incident which still makes certain bloggers cringe), kept a certain level of politeness about her.

Thing is, she's not only a caustic, ball breaking sack of awesome fuck, she's also right on the fucking button, every time.

QuoteYou can't smile with bitterness in your heart. Not really. Sure, your face will make the right shape, but people can tell that it's not real. A smile is a projection of an emotional state of love, and if your conscious mind is fixated on negativity, it's gonna come off looking awkward, or worse, fake.

..

QuoteI am a young man who wants to toughen the fuck up. Any ideas?
Um, I dunno, prison?

 :lulz: :x :lulz:

Sartorial eloquence.

Quote
My boyfriend cheated on me and is now dating the girl he cheated on me with. Yet, I would still take him back if he asked. What is wrong with me?
A complete lack of self respect.


There's a guy I work with who has a crush on me, but I don't feel the same way. How do I stay friends with him without hurting him?
You don't.


Why the hell doesn't biology have any explanation for the hymen?
No, you're right. Fuck evolutionary physiology. God put hymens there for our future husbands because we're all filthy whores who can't be trusted.

How do you feel about men opening doors for women?
Delighted.


If you have nothing to prove, why do you talk so much shit?
It gives me pleasure.

Oh, she's good!

I want to cut and paste like a quarter of humankind and replace them all with her.

Quote from: Cain on March 12, 2011, 02:29:25 AM
Her style reminds me of the early Violent Acres (http://www.violentacres.com/), only somewhat more so.  And more sweary.  V, even when mercilessly trolling "mommybloggers" (an incident which still makes certain bloggers cringe), kept a certain level of politeness about her.

Well, except when she photoshopped one of the kids who had chocolate smeared all over their face with poo in their hand.

But to be fair, if you're profiting off your children on the internet, you are asking for trouble.

I'm only up to page 10 of 87..  not a single page has disappointed.

I would have her babies. 

Quote from: Pickled Starfish on March 10, 2011, 06:10:54 PM
Sweet Eris they just keep getting better the deeper I get.   

Quote

Do you look forward to the extinction of humankind? I sure do, I feel like the most beautiful thing that humans could achieve would be to finally die off and let the good earth try to heal itself. When I say this to close family members they never agree and sometimes are angry at me, calling me morbid. There isn't anything more morbid than our species smothering and poisoning every other one on the planet. I'm not worried about being judged, just worried about those who are reproducing and those who want to cure major human diseases.


The good earth? You fucking idiot. The earth is an ethically inert mud ball hurtling around an amoral little star in an infinitely vast universe that is neither good nor evil. On a geological time scale, the measurable effect of our species on the planet is an insignificant burp.

It takes the human condition to color the world with value judgments, and yours are self-hating and silly. Besides, we're not going to make it anyway. Not at our current stage of evolution, and certainly not if we stick around this corner of the solar system. 99.9% of all species that have ever existed on earth are now extinct, and one day we will be too. We aren't that fucking special.

Does that mean we should wish for our annihilation? Fuck no. Only arrogant malcontents think like that. All you're doing is projecting your own self loathing onto a species-centric world view, one that's no different from the ignorant fucks who think we were put on the planet to rule over the animals.

Humanity is a fleeting and beautiful experience, the sum total of which probably won't count for shit in the long run. So what? Don't resent your species. It's a wasted emotion based on a primitive way of thinking.

If you really look forward to the extinction of humankind, then do your part and kill yourself. Otherwise, shut the fuck up and enjoy the ride.

Love this one. Absolutely.

She deleted a critical comment I made.

:lulz:

Namely, that her opening line in the On Classy and Trashy post (http://www.dearcoketalk.com/post/3593576356/on-classy-and-trashy) just sounded like utter bullshit. The rest of it was pretty good, but that opener just reeks of pretentious garbage.

Odd, considering how right on the money she is about just about everything....

More choice bits.  

QuoteI've been reading your blog several months now, and I noticed that you often explain things in two ways that seem somewhat contradictory.

You write, "Anyone with the slightest sense of scale recognizes that nothing we do matters. In a universe so infinitely vast, our lives are entirely without meaning. The trick is being able to laugh at the abyss because you recognize the freedom it affords you," but you also say things like in the last post about the importance of integrity.

I really am not attacking what you say, because I agree with both. I just am wondering how you (and I) can reconcile those two seemingly contradictory things. How can someone do whatever the hell they want, but with integrity? Isn't that lawyer who works against gay marriage just doing whatever the hell he wants, because it pays the bill and "nothing we do matters"?

Honestly, I'm not sticking up for that person or trying to defend him, because I think that his job is pretty disgusting. But how can something be morally inappropriate through a nihilistic lens?

Just because nothing matters, that doesn't mean you get to be a dick.

Nihilism isn't moral relativism. The freedom that comes from embracing your insignificance has no bearing on morality. You're still a human being. You still have a conscience. You are still obligated to play well with others.

Nobody gets to do whatever the hell they want. We live in a world filled with traffic lights and tax forms, and only sociopaths think their personal philosophy somehow nullifies the social contract.

There is no contradiction, because your universal insignificance itself becomes insignificant when faced with the day to day pursuit of happiness.

Shit doesn't have to matter in any grand scheme for you to be a good person leading a happy life. It's like, the impending abyss is always there, but fuck it.

Be cool and have a sandwich.

QuoteRealising your complete and utter insignificance in the grand scheme of things. Wisdom or depression?

Freedom.

Quote

I've been wondering — what do you think on not laughing when somebody tells a joke concerning a subject you find is touchy/taboo? Like about the Holocaust or domestic violence or stuff like that?


What did Hitler say to the Jewish woman with two black eyes?

Quoteisn't cocaine illegal? then how do you do drugs, openly advertise the fact that you are taking an illegal narcotic on the internet, and get away with it?


Get away with it? Fuck you. May no vehicle in which you travel ever go faster than the posted speed limit. May you be audited by the IRS every year. May you live your entire life and never break a single rule or law, be it for sodomy, loitering, or walking on the grass.

I wish that for you and everyone like you who thinks that in a free society, someone like me should have to be getting away with it.

QuoteDo you owe your close friends the duty of telling them that the guy they are dating is a bratty man child? Or do you allow them to make their own choices?

You owe your close friends the duty of not being a cunt. Good luck.

Quote

So you support Assange? I'm no Republican, but America is the only country in the world that would put up with this. Anywhere else, they'd put a bullet in the back of his head. And they should.


A bullet in the back of his head? Fuck you. Assange is at the vanguard of a new form of revolution where all the bullets in the world won't mean shit.

Maybe you're too shortsighted to recognize the magnitude of this controversy, but what we're witnessing cuts to the core of the American experiment. They said the revolution wouldn't be televised, and they were right. That shit's gonna be downloaded.

Everyone is screaming about whether WikiLeaks deserves First Amendment protection. Fuck that argument. I say it deserves Second Amendment protection, because in this day and age, the right of the people to keep and bear arms depends on what you're calling a weapon.

Quite frankly, it doesn't matter whether I support Assange. Mine and everyone else's opinion of him is immaterial. That's the point. WikiLeaks is an important and dangerous societal tool that can't be unmachined. It's out there, and it's bigger than any one man.

Besides, the state knows better than to make a martyr out of Assange when it can just destroy his reputation.

QuoteI've always been fairly "square" but I'm getting into my prescription drugs. Not abusing them...just using them a little more than I need. Am I on the highway to hell or stairway to heaven?

You're on the escalator to hyperbole.

QuoteDo you feel that making life decisions that aren't necessarily the best for you but best for your relationship can ever be justified?

Sure, all day long. It's called codependency. Have fun!

QuoteWhy is it seemingly impossible for me to quit smoking, exercise, drink less alcohol, and eat less food? What is my goddamn problem?

You're lazy and you lack discipline.

Quote

Right when I'm super close to coming, I always have these really weird and fucked up imaginations pop into my mind, and sometimes my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend also comes into the picture. And then it delays the coming process and it takes me forever. What the fuck am I supposed to do? What does this mean?


Go back and read your question over again, only this time, read it in the nebbishy, hand-wringing voice of Woody Allen.

Did you read it in Woody Allen's voice? Good, because that's pretty much how you sound. Yeah, that's right. You're Woody Allen with a vagina. Does your boyfriend know he's basically fucking Woody Allen? I bet if he did, it'd take him forever to cum too.

Oh, and guess what? Now that I've planted that shit in your head, Woody Allen is gonna haunt your orgasms for the rest of your life.

Just kidding. Woody Allen won't haunt your orgasms. Actually, all those crazy thoughts will pop into your head during sex just like they always do, only this time you'll suddenly be picturing Woody Allen fucking your boyfriend's ex-girlfriend, and after that, everything will be fine.

Did you see Inception? That shit is for real, bitch.

Happy Hanukkah, Woody.

QuoteShould I get implants?


Big decision. You should probably flip a coin.

QuoteWhat's your opinion of Adolous Huxley's Brand New World? I just finished reading it and I'm curious as to your opinion of it.

Sweetheart, it's Aldous Huxley's Brave New World, and if you just finished reading it, then I'm terribly worried that you may have just proven his entire point. Oh, the horrifying irony.

QuoteDo you think crying is a sign of weakness?

No. Crying is a sign of emotion.

QuoteI'm a girl. tell me how you would fuck me.

Girl or guy, I just start with your mind and move downward.

Quote

HELP. I'm talking to an Ayn Rand bot. He's an intelligent human being for the most part, just one of the many that have been sucked up into her selfish little vaccuum of self important motives. What is your opinion of Ayn Rand? What would you say to someone drinking her kool-aid? Much Appreciated.


I've said it before. I consider Rand and her philosophy to be the epistemological equivalent of methadone. A controlled dose of objectivism is a hell of a lot better than the dirty street junk most people shoot into their arms, but it's still no way to live.

No doubt your friend is an intelligent person. Most people who bother to pick up a book these days are above average, and nobody goes hot tubbing with Ayn Rand without first peeling off their Sunday School clothes.

Still, she's an easy trap. Her philosophy is very simple to grasp, and it's incredibly satisfying to the ego. It's candy being sold as health food, so naturally people gobble it up.

At its best, objectivism is a gateway philosophy. It's epistemology with training wheels, the stuff teenagers read before moving on to the real thing.

At its worst, selfish assholes latch on to her value system of ethical egoism and rational self interest, and they get absolutely giddy with what they perceive to be her rejection of altruism. Their surface interpretation of her moral code gives them every excuse to be narcissistic pricks who pride themselves on taking without giving.

What they fundamentally misunderstand, and to an extent what Rand herself misunderstood, is that an ethical system based on living for the sake of one's self as opposed to living for the sake of others is completely missing the point. There is no self. There is no other.

Obviously, if you start talking to a selfish asshole about egoless notions of one love or one universal consciousness, he's just gonna shake his head and think you're a new-age fruitcake. It's a total fucking waste of time. After all, using mind-based arguments to try and rationally convince an ego that it doesn't exist is impossible. This is why you're gonna have trouble sobering up someone who's been drinking kool-aid from the Fountainhead.

Still, the fundamental flaw in Rand's thinking is that she was never able to separate ego from consciousness. She confused and combined those two inherently different philosophical constructs. I'll spare you her metaphysical hoop-jumping, but her entire world view is based on the faulty ego-biased premise of our isolated individuality.

Sure, we're each individuals. We're born, we live, and we die as discrete units of self, but her philosophy places such primacy on egoism that the whole exercise becomes childish. She presents an "every man for himself" mentality, heroizes the individual, and then narratively extends the positive benefits of her philosophy to its illogical yet idealized conclusion.

I'll happily concede that on a primal level, operating from a position of rational self-interest is perfectly acceptable. The law of the jungle never really ceases to apply, and there is no doubt a certain kind of virtue in selfishness, but none of it will get you higher than the first couple of rungs on Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

They say man cannot live on bread alone. Well, man cannot find happiness, much less enlightenment, on rational self interest alone, regardless of how ethical. This isn't about proving Rand wrong. It's about showing your friend that objectivism is an incomplete philosophy.

Quite simply, there is more.

"drinking kool-aid from the Fountainhead" isn't one I've heard before, and an excellent way of describing Randroids.  Anyone know if that's a common phrase or is that one hers?

Quote from: Eater of Clowns on March 15, 2011, 06:05:24 PM
"drinking kool-aid from the Fountainhead" isn't one I've heard before, and an excellent way of describing Randroids.  Anyone know if that's a common phrase or is that one hers?

Seems to be hers, a quick Google shows it only in the context of her response.

I bumped this in the event no one had gotten 20 pages deep and found this little gem.

Quote
i've spent a lot of my day thinking about what i want to say about this, since i saw it on my dash earlier.

here is where this argument goes spectacularly, blindingly, gloriously flamingly wrong:

words are actions.

there is no such thing as the thought police in the real world, because nobody can possibly know what you're thinking, or control it. in fact, i'm a big proponent of not condemning people for what's inside their head; my thoughts are pretty fucking impure and judgmental a lot of the time.

where you go wrong is when you open your mouth and turn your hurtful thoughts into words.

using the word "retard" to mean stupid or bad or wrong is A SLUR. there is no way around it. you are equating a word that means "a person with mental handicaps" with "something that sucks." if you take away the idea that a mentally disabled person is stupid, the word simply has no punch: it relies on this assumption, however buried.

and when you use it so casually, someone else comes along and reads it and unconsciously absorbs it into the acceptable vocabulary of their world, too. and then they casually repeat it again later, in part because they saw you use it and it was okay. and then it's repeated again. and again. it becomes part of our lexicon as a culture by insidious, subtle, unthinking repetition. nobody thinks that "my words rang forth across the internet, and now somewhere there's a classroom full of special ed kids crying into their helmets because I used the word retarded." that's patently absurd.

and words like cunt, nigger, faggot, and retard do not have power when somebody who is not marginalized by them uses them to mean something negative. unless you are, respectively, a woman, a Black person, a queer person, or a mentally disabled person — AND USING THEM TO REFER TO YOURSELF ALONE — you are not giving these words power by using them. you are reinforcing the exact fucking reasons that they are harmful. you are part of the problem. you are actively working against the solution. i reject your claim that "not one of us cunts, niggers, faggots, or retards is ever above catching a little shit." without identifying with these words and using them to self-identify, you are not part of the 'us.'

hate speech can be insidious. it does not have to be somebody screaming at you on the street. it can be hearing someone casually call a guy a faggot just because they don't like him. it can be hearing somebody call their friend retarded for making a small mistake. it's hearing a word that refers to you used to insult somebody else.

you do not act in a vacuum. your words are powerful. they are your actions. and you may "know your heart" and you may be "putting pen to paper with a pure heart," and guess what? that gay man still isn't going to feel better because your intentions were pure. that mentally disabled person isn't going to feel more accepted because you were fine with what you said.

fuck you too. fuck you right in the face.


You make a strong argument, quite noble in its intentions, and I respect you for being one of the few people to take the time to respond with such eloquence to what I knew would ultimately be a very controversial post.

In fact, I would right now at your request be fucking myself in the face if it weren't for one very important thing:

Words are not actions.

It's clear that you spectacularly, blindingly, gloriously, and flamingly disagree, but I must insist. Words are not actions. They are not even intentions. Words are merely symbols, ones that have no inherent meaning until they are imbued with definition by both the writer and her reader.

My point here isn't to shift the argument from sociology to semiotics, not at all. It's just that your entire argument is based on that simple premise, and I'm sorry, but you've built a castle on sand.

A lot of your anger and rage is based on the assumption that powerful and loaded words like nigger and faggot can only be used for harm unless they are being "taken back" by those they marginalize. I couldn't disagree more.

That kind of thinking is short-sighted and self-limiting, and of course, it's reinforced by your mistaken belief that words are actions when really they are beautiful and dangerous symbols with a rich history, a unique etymology, and a potential for poetry that people like you ignore for the sake of politics.

I'm not going to deny how inflammatory those words can be. Only an idiot would suggest that those words don't come with the power to inflict a great deal of emotional damage, but come on, man. Fire is hot. Knives are sharp. A great many things in this world can inflict pain, but not all of us are arsonists and slashers. Some of us are just chefs at Benihana.

It's not that I don't understand where you're coming from. You and those like you have been trained by every liberal arts professor from here to Boston to pounce on these hot-button words in the name of ending oppression. Shit, it's practically a Pavlovian response, but the words themselves are not the problem. They are not the action. The underlying intent is what's important. How and why was the symbol used? Did it inflict harm? Was it deliberate? Accidental? And of course, this is where things get sticky.

Now, did I get letters from people with mentally retarded siblings who were offended? Absolutely. Did I also get letters from people with mentally retarded siblings who were overwhelmed with joy that I finally put into words how they felt about this kind of shit? Quite a few more, actually.

That's the sticky part, because who among us ultimately gets to determine what's offensive?

Had I used the phrase "are you a fucking moron" instead of "are you fucking retarded," no one would have said shit in the first place. Here's the thing, though. Both of those words define the exact the same mental condition, and by your logic, both of them are therefore slurs. Clearly then, we live in a world where some words are deemed more acceptable than others.

So I ask you again, who gets to determine the acceptable vocabulary? This is where I draw my line in the sand. I refuse to allow anyone else to determine for me what is acceptable language. I won't ever let anyone ban words. Call it the thought police. Call it private censorship. Call it whatever you like, but nobody gets to chip away at my lexicon.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and everyone may freely choose for themselves what they deem to be acceptable language. Yeah, I know. This is where all you ethnic and gender studies majors start screaming about privilege, but I'm sorry, a lot of you twits are confusing privilege and freedom. When I say everyone is entitled, I mean everyone. Equally.

When I say I have a pure heart, it's because I do. I'm not a hateful person, but that doesn't mean I'm not fully aware of how much shit I talk. I know damn well my language is offensive to some, but I fully understand both the implications and the consequences.

In other words, tough shit. I'm okay with it. Does that make me an asshole? For some, yes. The worst kind. If you are one of those people, so be it. Like I said, you are entitled to your opinion.

I will say this though, to all the people who sent crazy hate mail, it is my sincerest hope that you eventually learn to chill the fuck out. After all, I'm a ridiculous target for your anger.

Nobody wants to be around someone who's constantly offended.

Lighten the fuck up.

She's fucking spot on every time. As George Carlin said, it's all down to context.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZCS5I80X-8

Quote from: BadBeast on April 01, 2011, 03:21:24 AM
She's fucking spot on every time. As George Carlin said, it's all down to context.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZCS5I80X-8

I knee-jerk posted it when I finished it, then found the origin post a couple of posts down on the same page:

QuoteIn response to your response to the "guys as the key and girls as the lock thing". I think your response was really brilliant, but I want to bring up one problem I caught. Using the word "retarded" is damaging. I understand that you were trying to state that the person who said this "simile" was being ignorant and a jack ass (as well as his friend for thinking it was "cute") but using such a word is really demeaning to persons that are actually mentally handicapped. It's ironic because you talk so strongly about how wrong this statement is but then use a mental condition as an insult. Please don't take my comment as trying to be rude or down-play you; I respect your post but I don't think using language like "retarded" (or "lame" or "gay", as other examples) is really effective in getting your point across.


Yeah. Shame on me. I used the word retarded, and because of that, right now up in heaven a little angel with down syndrome won't be getting its wings.

Fuck you. I mean it. Fuck you right in the face.

You are a member of the thought police, and you are the fucking enemy. Well guess what? I won't let you shape my language. I won't let you shape my thoughts.

I know myself. I know my heart. I know my language. I know all the delicious and powerful words that scare pathetic and weak-minded fucks like you.

Words like cunt, nigger, faggot, and retard.

Dangerous words. Loaded words. Beautiful words that the easily offended would ban and burn like books if you could. You realize that's what you are, right? A hypervigilant book burner. Except you're worse. You do it on the linguistic level, one word at a time in the name of someone else's hurt feelings because you're too warped to tell the difference between an ameliorated pejorative and actual hate speech.

Well fuck that and fuck you. You don't get to set the standards. You don't get to deem appropriateness. As long as I'm putting pen to paper with a pure heart, you don't get to say shit.

How dare you accuse me of damage? As if my words rang forth across the internet, and now somewhere there's a classroom full of special ed kids crying into their helmets because I used the word retarded. Oh, please.

You know what's really damaging? Having someone rush to their defense demanding special treatment for their delicate sensibilities. Fuck that shit. I'm not the one making a big deal about being mentally handicapped. You are.

You're the one who's being demeaning, not me. You're the one acting out of fear, not me. You're the problem, not me. I love my language — all of it — and I won't let easily offended, self appointed thought police tell me how to use it.

I strongly suggest you lighten the fuck up, because it's not political correctness that's ultimately going to bring us all together. It's having the good sense to recognize actual hate speech when we hear it, and having the good sense of humor to recognize that not one of us cunts, niggers, faggots, or retards is ever above catching a little shit.

It speaks volumes about her that she's not just Trolling the general public, but she actually gives a fuck. Rare to find a truthspeaker like that. I'd use her shit for toothpaste.

Quote from: BadBeast on April 01, 2011, 03:37:47 AM
It speaks volumes about her that she's not just Trolling the general public, but she actually gives a fuck. Rare to find a truthspeaker like that. I'd use her shit for toothpaste.

:lulz: :lulz:

I'd have probably never admitted as much until I read what you wrote, but yeah..

She has a way of cutting through the shit and laying it all out in a way that is both disarming, insightful, and incredibly attractive.

After reading everything in this thread, I need to get back to work, but hot damn!  I'm hooked.  She's fantastic!

Quote from: Sigmatic on March 12, 2011, 06:13:44 PM
I want to cut and paste like a quarter of humankind and replace them all with her.

:lulz:

bored @ work.  found this on page 24:

QuoteDid you know that you're #23 in the Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2010?


Holy shit. Had no idea. Pretty cool: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/23_enigma

:lulz:

I liked this one.

QuoteHello Dear Coke Talk, I have been following you since before you created a seperate tumblr, and I enjoy the cut-throat advice and wisdom you provide, and the aid you have given me indirectly through this blog.

But, I have a question/comment for you. In some of your posts you speak very negatively of religion. You've touched on the close mindedness of Christians.

My question for you is this, isn't kind of close minded to lump and entire group of people like that? I am a Christian, but I don't think less of people based on their own religious beliefs or who they go to bed with at night.

I'm not trying to show you that every Christian has an open mind. You and I both know that a majority of people in the Christian faith are what you assume them to be. Heck, I even assume them to be close minded.

What I am getting at is that there are Christians out there who are open-minded. Not all of us are alike.


Sure. Not all of you are alike, but what every practicing Christian has in common is enough for me to lump you all together and think less of you.

I don't have to respect your beliefs. Respect is earned, sweetie.

That's not close minded of me, by the way. I'm educated in comparative religion. I have the Bible, the Qur'an, the Bhagavad Gita, and the Tao Te Ching all next to one another on one of my bookshelves. Can you say that?

I doubt you've even taken the time to critically examine your own religion's sacred texts beyond whatever Sunday school fantasy-adventure ride you were strapped down for as a child. Even if you have, you still identify as a believer, and all that tells me is that you aren't enough of a rational thinker to separate myth from reality.

Listen, I get that you're asking me for a Christian hall pass. You want me to wink and nod and tell you that you're one of the good ones because you don't think less of me for my lifestyle. Well, no. It doesn't work like that.

You're not doing me any favors by not condemning me. That sentiment isn't an expression of open-mindedness. It's an expression of tolerance, and you know what? Fuck your tolerance. I don't need it.

You have a holier-than-thou attitude. Literally. Do you understand how condescending it is to be tolerated by someone like you? I don't owe you respect just because you smile and pretend to show me some.

Part of the problem here is that you're missing the point about what it means to be open minded. As a Christian, you've co-opted a set of canned answers to life's greatest mysteries. It's bullshit.

You don't know any more about the nature of the universe than I do. All you've done is surrendered your rational thought to an ancient cult in exchange for peace of mind. That is inherently close minded.

Right now, all you've got is the potential for an open mind. Start asking questions. Examine your religion with a critical mind. Stop fearing the unknowable. Open yourself up to all possibilities and never surrender your rational thought.

Hopefully, you'll stop being afraid of the insignificance of your life and the inevitability of your death, and you won't need an imaginary friend in the sky to tell you everything will be all right.

Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 05, 2011, 02:04:28 AM
I liked this one.

QuoteHello Dear Coke Talk, I have been following you since before you created a seperate tumblr, and I enjoy the cut-throat advice and wisdom you provide, and the aid you have given me indirectly through this blog.

But, I have a question/comment for you. In some of your posts you speak very negatively of religion. You've touched on the close mindedness of Christians.

My question for you is this, isn't kind of close minded to lump and entire group of people like that? I am a Christian, but I don't think less of people based on their own religious beliefs or who they go to bed with at night.

I'm not trying to show you that every Christian has an open mind. You and I both know that a majority of people in the Christian faith are what you assume them to be. Heck, I even assume them to be close minded.

What I am getting at is that there are Christians out there who are open-minded. Not all of us are alike.


Sure. Not all of you are alike, but what every practicing Christian has in common is enough for me to lump you all together and think less of you.

I don't have to respect your beliefs. Respect is earned, sweetie.

That's not close minded of me, by the way. I'm educated in comparative religion. I have the Bible, the Qur'an, the Bhagavad Gita, and the Tao Te Ching all next to one another on one of my bookshelves. Can you say that?

I doubt you've even taken the time to critically examine your own religion's sacred texts beyond whatever Sunday school fantasy-adventure ride you were strapped down for as a child. Even if you have, you still identify as a believer, and all that tells me is that you aren't enough of a rational thinker to separate myth from reality.

Listen, I get that you're asking me for a Christian hall pass. You want me to wink and nod and tell you that you're one of the good ones because you don't think less of me for my lifestyle. Well, no. It doesn't work like that.

You're not doing me any favors by not condemning me. That sentiment isn't an expression of open-mindedness. It's an expression of tolerance, and you know what? Fuck your tolerance. I don't need it.

You have a holier-than-thou attitude. Literally. Do you understand how condescending it is to be tolerated by someone like you? I don't owe you respect just because you smile and pretend to show me some.

Part of the problem here is that you're missing the point about what it means to be open minded. As a Christian, you've co-opted a set of canned answers to life's greatest mysteries. It's bullshit.

You don't know any more about the nature of the universe than I do. All you've done is surrendered your rational thought to an ancient cult in exchange for peace of mind. That is inherently close minded.

Right now, all you've got is the potential for an open mind. Start asking questions. Examine your religion with a critical mind. Stop fearing the unknowable. Open yourself up to all possibilities and never surrender your rational thought.

Hopefully, you'll stop being afraid of the insignificance of your life and the inevitability of your death, and you won't need an imaginary friend in the sky to tell you everything will be all right.

I like how she says he's being condescending, but then herself was entirely condescending the entire time.  Says Christians are all holier-than-thou, and then goes on to be all more-well-read-than-thou about her bookcase, calls him close-minded based entirely on her assumptions about what she thinks he believes...

That's the post that lost me any respect for her.

I know you're all enamored with this woman, but I can't help but take her down a few notches. Two to be exact: one for pretentious bullshit and one for deleting my critical comment, which was not remotely abusive, only critical of her ideas.

Quote
On classy and trashy.

People constantly quote you for your definition of cheating, but what are your definitions for classy and trashy? You seem classy, but you've had life experiences that some of the more narrow minded populace would consider quite the opposite. How do you define those things?


Classy and trashy are objective manifestations of opposing states of mind that exist across a subjective spectrum of aesthetic sophistication.

These objective manifestations aren't classy or trashy within themselves. They require contextualization within an aesthetic framework.

For instance, Britney Spears sporting fishnets and a top hat is inevitably trashy, whereas Madonna rocking out the exact same outfit is classy as fuck.

Now, is this due to either woman's money, talent, or beauty? No, not at all. You're missing the point if you think like that. Those things have no direct correlation to aesthetic sophistication, and while money, talent, and beauty may make it easier to develop and express aesthetic sophistication, they also make it easier to express a blatant lack of it.

This isn't just about fashion, by the way. The same holds true across the entire range of aesthetic endeavors — design, music, architecture, the visual and performing arts, even culinary aesthetics.

Come on, it doesn't take much to know that Anthony Bourdain is all class and Rachael Ray is nothing but trash.

Okay, so all aesthetics fit into your bullshit spectrum of classy and trashiness? "Manifestations of states of mind"? "Aesthetic sophistication"? "Aesthetic framework"? Horse shit. The only useful parts about this are the remark about context defining aesthetics and classy and trashy qualities having nothing to do with wealth.

"Shady advice from a raging bitch who has no business answering any of these questions."

I see no problem here.

Quote from: Golden Applesauce on April 05, 2011, 02:51:32 AM

Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 05, 2011, 02:04:28 AM
I liked this one.

QuoteHello Dear Coke Talk, I have been following you since before you created a seperate tumblr, and I enjoy the cut-throat advice and wisdom you provide, and the aid you have given me indirectly through this blog.

But, I have a question/comment for you. In some of your posts you speak very negatively of religion. You've touched on the close mindedness of Christians.

My question for you is this, isn't kind of close minded to lump and entire group of people like that? I am a Christian, but I don't think less of people based on their own religious beliefs or who they go to bed with at night.

I'm not trying to show you that every Christian has an open mind. You and I both know that a majority of people in the Christian faith are what you assume them to be. Heck, I even assume them to be close minded.

What I am getting at is that there are Christians out there who are open-minded. Not all of us are alike.


Sure. Not all of you are alike, but what every practicing Christian has in common is enough for me to lump you all together and think less of you.

I don't have to respect your beliefs. Respect is earned, sweetie.

That's not close minded of me, by the way. I'm educated in comparative religion. I have the Bible, the Qur'an, the Bhagavad Gita, and the Tao Te Ching all next to one another on one of my bookshelves. Can you say that?

I doubt you've even taken the time to critically examine your own religion's sacred texts beyond whatever Sunday school fantasy-adventure ride you were strapped down for as a child. Even if you have, you still identify as a believer, and all that tells me is that you aren't enough of a rational thinker to separate myth from reality.

Listen, I get that you're asking me for a Christian hall pass. You want me to wink and nod and tell you that you're one of the good ones because you don't think less of me for my lifestyle. Well, no. It doesn't work like that.

You're not doing me any favors by not condemning me. That sentiment isn't an expression of open-mindedness. It's an expression of tolerance, and you know what? Fuck your tolerance. I don't need it.

You have a holier-than-thou attitude. Literally. Do you understand how condescending it is to be tolerated by someone like you? I don't owe you respect just because you smile and pretend to show me some.

Part of the problem here is that you're missing the point about what it means to be open minded. As a Christian, you've co-opted a set of canned answers to life's greatest mysteries. It's bullshit.

You don't know any more about the nature of the universe than I do. All you've done is surrendered your rational thought to an ancient cult in exchange for peace of mind. That is inherently close minded.

Right now, all you've got is the potential for an open mind. Start asking questions. Examine your religion with a critical mind. Stop fearing the unknowable. Open yourself up to all possibilities and never surrender your rational thought.

Hopefully, you'll stop being afraid of the insignificance of your life and the inevitability of your death, and you won't need an imaginary friend in the sky to tell you everything will be all right.

I like how she says he's being condescending, but then herself was entirely condescending the entire time.  Says Christians are all holier-than-thou, and then goes on to be all more-well-read-than-thou about her bookcase, calls him close-minded based entirely on her assumptions about what she thinks he believes...

That's the post that lost me any respect for her.

I agree man, she made all sorts of assumptions and generally came off as a hypocritical twunt. I started to lose respect for her after that post.

I lost most of my respect for her when she deleted my comment though.

Ah, the inevitable backlash.

ETA:  If she deleted a comment, though, then the backlash is probably warranted.

Quote from: Sigmatic on April 05, 2011, 03:01:22 AM
"Shady advice from a raging bitch who has no business answering any of these questions."

I see no problem here.

Yep.

This woman is amazing! I mean, deleting NET's post is an asshole move, but it doesn't nullify  how kickass this is.

Quote from: Dr. James Semaj on April 05, 2011, 04:06:52 AM
This woman is amazing! I mean, deleting NET's post is an asshole move, but it doesn't nullify  how kickass this is.

Meh. I'll give her 60-40.

Quote from: Doktor Phox on April 05, 2011, 04:07:37 AM

Quote from: Dr. James Semaj on April 05, 2011, 04:06:52 AM
This woman is amazing! I mean, deleting NET's post is an asshole move, but it doesn't nullify  how kickass this is.

Meh. I'll give her 60-40.

She still scores 169% with me, for the herpes response.

But she's a hater, so naturally I'm biased.

She speaks painful, ugly Truth at people. So I'll give her a fair bit of slack before I write her off. Such people are far too rare.

Eh. I think she barks up the wrong tree on occasion. Though, I do tend to like her most of the time.

QuoteEh. I think she barks up the wrong tree on occasion.

Everyone does eventually.

Quote from: Dr. James Semaj on April 05, 2011, 04:14:16 AM

QuoteEh. I think she barks up the wrong tree on occasion.

Everyone does eventually.

True 'nuff.

My minimum standards of human conduct are inversely proportional to how harsh that person is to fools.

I'm still 169% right up inside her musky ginch. So she gets a bit up herself now and again. We all do that. And she has every right to answer any question anyone asks her. In any way she likes. Bark up every empty tree she wants, smoke as much freebased coke as she likes, deny she has any kind of personality flaws of her own to look at, basically she can do what she likes. (So long as she remains locked in my secret underground bunker, that is)   :fap:

Quote from: BadBeast on April 05, 2011, 04:38:11 AM
I'm still 169% right up inside her musky ginch. So she gets a bit up herself now and again. We all do that. And she has every right to answer any question anyone asks her. In any way she likes. Bark up every empty tree she wants, smoke as much freebased coke as she likes, deny she has any kind of personality flaws of her own to look at, basically she can do what she likes. (So long as she remains locked in my secret underground bunker, that is)   :fap:

Okay, I'm assuming Ginch = twat, here.

You bastards invented the language...Why do you refuse to speak it?

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 05, 2011, 04:39:54 AM

Quote from: BadBeast on April 05, 2011, 04:38:11 AM
I'm still 169% right up inside her musky ginch. So she gets a bit up herself now and again. We all do that. And she has every right to answer any question anyone asks her. In any way she likes. Bark up every empty tree she wants, smoke as much freebased coke as she likes, deny she has any kind of personality flaws of her own to look at, basically she can do what she likes. (So long as she remains locked in my secret underground bunker, that is)   :fap:

Okay, I'm assuming Ginch = twat, here.

You bastards invented the language...Why do you refuse to speak it?

Well you see, about 300 years ago we ruined some good shitty abysmal tea they sent us. And that was the beginning of Modern British English Jabberwockese.

Quote from: Donald Coyote on April 05, 2011, 04:58:20 AM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 05, 2011, 04:39:54 AM

Quote from: BadBeast on April 05, 2011, 04:38:11 AM
I'm still 169% right up inside her musky ginch. So she gets a bit up herself now and again. We all do that. And she has every right to answer any question anyone asks her. In any way she likes. Bark up every empty tree she wants, smoke as much freebased coke as she likes, deny she has any kind of personality flaws of her own to look at, basically she can do what she likes. (So long as she remains locked in my secret underground bunker, that is)   :fap:

Okay, I'm assuming Ginch = twat, here.

You bastards invented the language...Why do you refuse to speak it?

Well you see, about 300 years ago we ruined some good shitty abysmal tea they sent us.

Honestly, It was all a misunderstanding. The colonists were simply trying to make the world's biggest cup of tea. And also set the record for boiling the most lobsters at once. Unfortunately, a British captain pointed out that there was no way to boil the entire bay without putting all the water in a pot or something. Rather than admit that they had made a mistake, the Americans instead decided that tea was stupid, and that the British were stupid, and also terrorists, and that they hated Freedom^TM and America^TM. This, of course, set the example for the next 258 years.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 05, 2011, 04:39:54 AM

Quote from: BadBeast on April 05, 2011, 04:38:11 AM
I'm still 169% right up inside her musky ginch. So she gets a bit up herself now and again. We all do that. And she has every right to answer any question anyone asks her. In any way she likes. Bark up every empty tree she wants, smoke as much freebased coke as she likes, deny she has any kind of personality flaws of her own to look at, basically she can do what she likes. (So long as she remains locked in my secret underground bunker, that is)   :fap:

Okay, I'm assuming Ginch = twat, here.

You bastards invented the language...Why do you refuse to speak it?

Actually, before you all start doing the "Misty eyed ex Colonial" thing (Too late, I know) the only use of "ginch"  as a euphemism for the fangita or anything else, was sourced from one of your own. One of my all time favourite American Ladies, Peaches.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLn8EZydzjw

That woman reminds me both of someone I could love and someone I know I hate so the feelings were really conflicted.

until I saw this:

QuoteWhy hasn't the collective herd been sufficiently thinned yet?
Because you haven't killed yourself yet.

yep. I'm in love.

I kept reading 'ginch' as 'grinch' and thinking she'd look great with green skin and a santa hat . . .

Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 05, 2011, 06:26:47 AM
I kept reading 'ginch' as 'grinch' and thinking she'd look great with green skin and a santa hat . . .

Dunno, green isn't the most appealing colour to have associated with genitalia. Not the worst, (As you must have googled "purple waffle" at some point) 

A Grinch, with a green ginch? Not doing it for me.
A bit of rough, with a buff muff, sounds slightly better.

its BLUE waffle

I like her well enough, but she is also the embodiment of my own greatest weakness, so I recognize her limited appeal and lifespan.

Quote from: The Fred ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on April 05, 2011, 07:04:15 AM
its BLUE waffle

Fred correcting BB on this subject.  I have no words.

Quote from: Golden Applesauce on April 05, 2011, 02:51:32 AM
I like how she says he's being condescending, but then herself was entirely condescending the entire time.  Says Christians are all holier-than-thou, and then goes on to be all more-well-read-than-thou about her bookcase, calls him close-minded based entirely on her assumptions about what she thinks he believes...

That's the post that lost me any respect for her.

I don't see any dissonance here.  First off, remember the wise sage: "I don't practice what I preach, because I'm not the kind of person I'm preaching to."  Being condescending to someone who is being condescending to you isn't hypocrisy if you believe that person truly is inferior and does not deserve your respect.

Which brings us to the second point: Not to get all "fundie atheist" or anything, but do you agree with anything that the questioner stated in regards to Christianity?  I'm sure there can be "nice" Christians, but I believe that's usually in spite of Jesus, not because of Jesus.  The "assumptions" she makes are (1) He believes enough standard Christian tenets to self-identify as Christian, (2) Those tenets are factually wrong, or unprovable (i.e. meaningless).  I personally can't object to either of those assumptions.  Can you?

Quote from: Pickled Starfish on April 05, 2011, 01:13:38 PM

Quote from: The Fred ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on April 05, 2011, 07:04:15 AM
its BLUE waffle

Fred correcting BB on this subject.  I have no words.

I think my subconscious must have hijacked the post, in an attempt to protect the children or something. I tried so hard to unsee the image too, but it was no good. I could not unsee blindly enough.  :x

Quote from: LMNO, PhD on April 05, 2011, 01:29:39 PM

Quote from: Golden Applesauce on April 05, 2011, 02:51:32 AM
I like how she says he's being condescending, but then herself was entirely condescending the entire time.  Says Christians are all holier-than-thou, and then goes on to be all more-well-read-than-thou about her bookcase, calls him close-minded based entirely on her assumptions about what she thinks he believes...

That's the post that lost me any respect for her.

I don't see any dissonance here.  First off, remember the wise sage: "I don't practice what I preach, because I'm not the kind of person I'm preaching to."  Being condescending to someone who is being condescending to you isn't hypocrisy if you believe that person truly is inferior and does not deserve your respect.

Which brings us to the second point: Not to get all "fundie atheist" or anything, but do you agree with anything that the questioner stated in regards to Christianity?  I'm sure there can be "nice" Christians, but I believe that's usually in spite of Jesus, not because of Jesus.  The "assumptions" she makes are (1) He believes enough standard Christian tenets to self-identify as Christian, (2) Those tenets are factually wrong, or unprovable (i.e. meaningless).  I personally can't object to either of those assumptions.  Can you?

The poster that she was responding to made me think of the "limosine liberal" stereotype.

Let them eat cake soyburgers!

Quote from: BadBeast on April 05, 2011, 05:36:31 AM
Actually, before you all start doing the "Misty eyed ex Colonial" thing (Too late, I know)

I still don't buy that whole "Cornwallis lost" business.  This is all some sort of elaborate troll.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 05, 2011, 05:08:21 PM

Quote from: BadBeast on April 05, 2011, 05:36:31 AM
Actually, before you all start doing the "Misty eyed ex Colonial" thing (Too late, I know)

I still don't buy that whole "Cornwallis lost" business.  This is all some sort of elaborate troll.

Cornwallis didn't lose. He surrendered. To a rag tag Army of Rebels, and fucking Frenchmen! *The Shame*. Not that he surrendered, (He'd been ordered to do that anyway) but that he surrendered to an Army half full of Frogs! That wasn't in the agreement. When he realised Rochambeau was going to be with Washington, at the formal surrendering of his Sword, he said "Fuck that, I'm not going to surrender in front of any filthy Frenchman!" so he sent some Irishman in his place, called O'Hara, as a snub to the Frenchy. France had never been present in any situation where the British had been defeated, and Rochambeau probably paid George with a big lump of Canada, to officially be present and witness England accepting  they'd been pwnd.
France were so pissed off at this, that they went away hatin' on the Irish too. A few years later, they tried to invade Ireland   :lulz:   but Cornwallis whooped em good. Then he whooped the Irish. again.
just because.

Or did you mean Cornwall is lost?  It's not. It's  just trying to get across Bodmin Moor at this time of year was so bleak, depressing and pointless, that people would come back instead . When asked what Cornwall was like, they'd say "Cornwall? it's been lost".
"We went across Bodmin, and where Cornwall should have been, there was just more fucking Bodmin. for evar. So we come on back".
Then no one bothered going there for about 70 years. Wasn't much point before it had been lost. Even less after. It was rediscovered by the Exmoor Hounds, while chasing a Fox around SW England. The Fox got away, but we were saddled with the burden of Cornwall again.  :evilmad:

1.  Cornwallis took a dive.  You fuckers dumped all your religious nuts on us, provoked us till we lost our shit, and then "surrendered", leaving US to deal with all the fucking puritan assholes you flushed.

2.  Cornwall has to exist, BB, or people in Southampton would start wearing beards with no mustaches, and you'd have to move everyone North, into the mythical "Midlands" that I have already proven aren't actually there.

Cornwall is just the appendix of Great Britain. Seriously...part of the large intestine where the Normans shoved more of the ugly ass locals out of their way.

Now Wales...WALES is just the goddamn rectum. You can take out your appendix, but shit's gotta come out of somewhere.


-Suu
House of Oakley, Bishop's Castle, Shropshire.
"We've been fighting those extra-consonant using fuckers back since we got here in 1066!" <--- Actual house motto.

1066?
(http://i748.photobucket.com/albums/xx128/ChuckFukmuk/Infographics/hastingsfinal.png)

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 05, 2011, 07:37:28 PM
1.  Cornwallis took a dive.  You fuckers dumped all your religious nuts on us, provoked us till we lost our shit, and then "surrendered", leaving US to deal with all the fucking puritan assholes you flushed.

Ah yes, while I'm here, I'd just like to say that personally, I apologize wholeheartedly for those Puritans. But what the fuck else were we supposed to do with the crazy bastards? We tried burning them, hanging them, converting them, subverting them, they bred like fucking Catholics, they made really anti-social neighbors, they turned up in our Churches, and frowned a lot. They didn't want to be here, and we didn't want them here,  the inquisition was still active on the continent, but they could only take a few at a time. They wanted to fuck off, we didn't make them go to America,  we just sold them some leaky old tubs, and  waved them off. And you were even worse than we were at getting them to integrate. And worse than anything else, you gave them "Democracy" to subvert,  moralise for, and twist to their own ends.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 05, 2011, 07:37:28 PM

2.  Cornwall has to exist, BB, or people in Southampton would start wearing beards with no mustaches, and you'd have to move everyone North, into the mythical "Midlands" that I have already proven aren't actually there.

Oh we found it again, and  guess where it was? Yeah the far side of  Bodmin. Where we left it.

The Midlands, far from not being there, are thriving. The Name "Midlands" isn't  a geographic moniker. Cat safrTim ave  It's Carmic redrum from an.
right  
Land of the Mead Makers_

Quote from: BadBeast on April 05, 2011, 10:41:19 PM
The Midlands, far from not being there, are thriving. The Name "Midlands" isn't  a geographic moniker. Cat safrTim ave  It's Carmic redrum from an.
I

Balls.  Coventry was burned down in the blitz, and Milton Keynes is a fucking economist.  You guys are just making shit up.

we don't need to make shit up. We have History. You couldn't make that shit up but, . ....we did.

I <3 the Coke-ette. She's up there with Violent Acres.

Quote from: BadBeast on April 05, 2011, 10:58:28 PM
we don't need to make shit up. We have History. You couldn't make that shit up but, . ....we did.

YEAH?  WELL, WE HAVE SOME HISTORY.

Some.  A little, anyway, but it's OURS and we hardly cribbed ANY of it from YOU.  Except that common law thing.  And that bit from the Magna Carta.  And we show up late to world wars.

BUT OTHER THAN THAT, WE'RE HISTORICAL AS ALL HELL!

Quote from: BadBeast on April 05, 2011, 09:19:19 PM
1066?
(http://i748.photobucket.com/albums/xx128/ChuckFukmuk/Infographics/hastingsfinal.png)

I laughed.

But that's because I'm a fucking nerd.

Suu
-In the eye and everything!

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 05, 2011, 11:05:48 PM

Quote from: BadBeast on April 05, 2011, 10:58:28 PM
we don't need to make shit up. We have History. You couldn't make that shit up but, . ....we did.

YEAH?  WELL, WE HAVE SOME HISTORY.

Some.  A little, anyway, but it's OURS and we hardly cribbed ANY of it from YOU.  Except that common law thing.  And that bit from the Magna Carta.  And we show up late to world wars.

BUT OTHER THAN THAT, WE'RE HISTORICAL AS ALL HELL!

:suu:

Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 05, 2011, 11:17:42 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 05, 2011, 11:05:48 PM

Quote from: BadBeast on April 05, 2011, 10:58:28 PM
we don't need to make shit up. We have History. You couldn't make that shit up but, . ....we did.

YEAH?  WELL, WE HAVE SOME HISTORY.

Some.  A little, anyway, but it's OURS and we hardly cribbed ANY of it from YOU.  Except that common law thing.  And that bit from the Magna Carta.  And we show up late to world wars.

BUT OTHER THAN THAT, WE'RE HISTORICAL AS ALL HELL!

:suu:

This part made my ribs hurt.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 05, 2011, 11:05:48 PM

Quote from: BadBeast on April 05, 2011, 10:58:28 PM
we don't need to make shit up. We have History. You couldn't make that shit up but, . ....we did.

YEAH?  WELL, WE HAVE SOME HISTORY.

Some.  A little, anyway, but it's OURS and we hardly cribbed ANY of it from YOU.  Except that common law thing.  And that bit from the Magna Carta.  And we show up late to world wars.

BUT OTHER THAN THAT, WE'RE HISTORICAL HYSTERICAL AS ALL HELL!

Fixt.
England. Uo in yuor Histories, Ninja Editing yuor constitution

Quote

You post a lot of music on your personal tumblr. As a popular account, how do you deal with the copyright issue? Or do you just get permission from artists since it's free promotion?


It's all perfectly legal, because I track down each artist and give them head before posting their music to my personal blog.

It's a little known codicil of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act that if you provide sexual favors to an underlying rightsholder, you are legally entitled to reproduce their work on the internet.

It's an often misunderstood but very useful extension of the fair use doctrine known as the DMCA OVA standard, which stands for Oral, Vaginal, or Anal. The British work under a slightly different version known as the HOVA standard, but remember kids, here in America hand-jobs don't count.

Once you meet the OVA standard with a given artist, you can do anything you want with that artist's music short of re-releasing your own greatest hits album.

Oh, and you'll be happy to know that the OVA standard is retroactive. For instance, If the RIAA files a DMCA lawsuit against you for downloading music illegally, you can make a settlement offer that literally includes you taking it up the ass.

They don't like to mention it in the news, but that's what most RIAA lawsuits are actually about. Hell, Metallica doesn't really care about people pirating their music, it's just that Lars Ulrich wanted to insure a steady stream of college girls would legally owe him blowjobs well into the next decade.

:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

Quote

Do you believe rent to be fundamentally exploitative? Should we all have to pay for shelter simply for existing?


If I dropped you off in the woods with only an axe and your bloated sense of entitlement, how long before you'd have a roof over your head?

Well then, you useless fucking hippie, aren't you lucky that you live in a civilized, post-industrial society with property rights and public utilities where you can pay for things like a studio apartment and internet access.

You are not some feudal serf being plundered by the landed gentry. You are a spoiled, self-righteous college freshman who emailed this shit from a coffee shop with free wi-fi and vanilla scones.

Do us all a favor and put down the little red book. It's not for whiners.

Oh, and shave the goatee. You look ridiculous.

Quote

People say I'm a bitch, but I didn't know that speaking the truth meant bitch. People say that in order to meet guys, I need to be a nicer person; meaning fake, no one is really "nice". Do I really want a guy that can't handle the truth?


There's a huge difference between a strong woman who speaks the truth and a self-righteous cunt who hurts other people with her unsolicited opinion.

There's also a huge difference between a guy handling the truth and one merely putting up with your shit because you're pretty.

If everyone around you thinks you're a bitch, take the hint. You don't have to be a nice person, but you do have to be a good person.

This isn't about being fake. It's about having some fucking compassion.

How's that for truth?

Quote

My mom is making me go to an indian reservation in the middle of nowhere with a quaker church to do community service. I have never been to church in my life and am pretty alienated by the whole thing. What the hell am I to do?


Peyote.

QuoteIf all jobs made the same salary, what would you do for a living?

Start a capitalist revolution.

I like that one a lot.

Quote

After checking my boyfriend's browsing history on his laptop (I know I shouldn't!), I found out that he likes to look mainly at picture of girls with "big naturals." And by that I mean BIG—like 36FFF and shit like that.  I'm a typical B cup.  He says he thinks I'm sexy, my tits are great, and we have great sex.  But I can't get this out of my head!  What should I do?


Stop checking your boyfriend's browsing history.

QuoteHow do you tell your best friend that her boyfriend is truly unfortunate looking?

Start off by being shallow and then say something condescending that you'll regret later.

QuoteWhat is the difference between Republicans and Democrats?

Nascar

Quote

i am currently dating a few guys, and have been proposed to by two (one, i think because the other one did). guy#1 is my best friend, but he is a little small in the undies department. he has never left me unsatisfied... HE is the one who has a problem with it... and trust me, he knows how to use it.  he is even willing to let me have other "friends" to make up for his inadequacies.

guy#2-makes more money, is adequately sized (although he claims he is "bigger than average" which he is NOT). He and I have been friends for a long time, and I am not sure if he only asked me because he feels that is what i want because the other guy proposed first.

what do i do? you will tell me straight.


I think you should finish getting your Ph.D. in astrophysics from Caltech.

Really, I don't know what the guys at the Jet Propulsion Lab would do without you if you decided to give up your budding career as a rocket scientist just to marry a man with a slightly less than average penis.

I know, at the moment nothing seems more important than choosing your life partner based on the size of his genitalia, but have you considered what a blow this will be to the scientific community? A mind like yours, wasted on a man who is "a little small in the undies department."

Please, I'm begging you, for the sake of humanity, don't allow yourself to be distracted by suitors of middling girth like some common shallow whore.

A genius of your caliber deserves nothing less than to marry a man with a truly massive cock. We're talking two coke cans stacked end-to-end. Flaccid. Your research is too important to mankind for you to settle for anything less.

Quote

YOU CALLED FEMINISM A 'NARROW-MINDED BELIEF SYSTEM'? Haha.

It's funny that you think you're being 'open-minded' by watching porn. Wow, what a free spirit! Succumbing to the objectification of women, the assigning of gender roles and misogyny!

WELL FUCKING DONE.

You idiot.


Capital letters and sarcasm? Wow. I almost didn't notice that you completely misquoted me. I didn't call feminism a narrow-minded belief system, although for your angry brand of the stuff, I might be willing to make an exception.

Do me a favor and don't talk to me about words you don't understand. I know sex workers with more feminism in their clit rings than you've got in your entire gender studies department. Free spirits, indeed.

Here's a thought exercise: if a camera crew filmed me pulling the stick out of your ass, would that be considered porn?

The correct answer: only if you enjoyed it.

(Oh, and you know how you got all offended just now instead of laughing? Yeah. That's why nobody likes you.)

QuoteHow do you tell the difference between herpes and a mole?

How do you tell the difference between Paris Hilton and Natalie Portman?

QuoteWhy am I fat?

I blame the Jews.

Quote

I've been dancing since I was 8, and its been a huge part of my life and a huge part of me. But I've had my ups and downs with it. I took a year off, and realized I loved it, so I tried to come back. It's been a struggle the whole year I've been back, and I keep getting new injuries. I need to decide whether to go to college and get a "normal" job, or pursue a dance career, if that's still possible at this point. What should I do?


No matter what you do, definitely go to college.

The very fact that you can ask this question means you should start pursuing another career. You know it, too. It just hurts to face the brutal truth.

Honestly, babe. Best case scenario, you're a professional dancer for a few years. That's if you're extremely lucky, and those injuries aren't good omens.

Then what? You will need a second career regardless of how the dance thing goes. Don't think of college as what you'll fall back on if things don't work out. Think of it as staying one step ahead of the inevitable.

Be strong. This decision is a big deal. It's one of those things that turns a girl into a woman. I wrote something in my personal blog the other day that really applies here, and I want you to take it to heart:

Sacrificing your dreams at the altar of reality is a rite of passage for everyone but a handful of rock stars and ballerinas. You can't ever let that shit get to you, or else you'll end up leading one of those lives of quiet desperation.

The trick is a healthy line of succession. When a dream dies, you gotta pick up that crown and put it on the next head right away. It doesn't matter if the new dream is thirteen years old and terrified, that bitch is queen now.

The dream is dead. Long live the dream.

Quote

I can't stop thinking about infinity and the expanding universe. It's getting to be a problem where I have to force myself not to think about it or else I feel sick and begin having anxiety pains. What can I do?


Instead of freaking out about your utter insignificance in an unimaginably vast and ever expanding universe, focus all of your concentration on the brutal inevitability of your own death.

Just kidding. Do drugs.

Quote

I'm a seventeen year old bisexual guy. I've only ever been with girls, and I'm not ready to be "out" yet. I've been having strong urges for guys lately. Is there anything you can suggest? I'm frustrated.


Gee, sport. I'm sorry to hear that high school pussy just ain't cutting it for you.

Until you're ready to man up and embrace your bisexuality, I'm afraid your only options are of the skanky and anonymous variety. The most obvious poor life choice available to a closeted bi-curious teenage boy is Craigslist.

You can just hop online and cruise for meth-fueled man love any time of the day or night. I'm sure if you post the above question word-for-word, you'll be knee deep in strange cock and by sundown.

Go get 'em, tiger.

I'm half way through the damn thing.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 05, 2011, 07:37:28 PM
2.  Cornwall has to exist, BB, or people in Southampton would start wearing beards with no mustaches, and you'd have to move everyone North, into the mythical "Midlands" that I have already proven aren't actually there.

BTW you know who else is from Cornwall? This (http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51UoKnGqWcL._SL500_.jpg)  guy (http://www.weareskitzo.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Aphex_Twin-Windowlicker.jpg) ... :D

^ Richard D. James is fucking amazing AND he's welsh.  Pretty damn rare.

Found this linked through coketalk.  Another damn funny read.

tomyhusband.tumblr.com

I love her. She's one of the reasons I became comfortable coming out about my polyamory.