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Messages - Doktor Howl

#1
Or Kill Me / Re: Breaking Point
October 08, 2024, 02:41:39 AM
Quote from: Majeh on October 05, 2024, 02:07:49 AMThen I was right the first time with my thread below, nothing doing to change Mr. Bones' Wild Ride, we were born here and we will die here. I'll get back to doing my shit and ignoring the rules that I think I can get away with ignoring. No sense playing by the established rules if those who set them aren't, I just have to keep my head down when I flip them off.

Sometimes I fall prey to the delusion that things could change, it's comfortable enough, gives me hope enough at times when I need some. The rest of the time I'm busy dancing the dance of Grandfather Nurgle and enjoying the entropy as we all sink on the ship we built together. The slow procession of decay is, at times, too slow for my liking. Still, such is the whim of the Grandfather and Eris herself, though she strikes me as one who is far more in line with Slaanesh. I make a point to only follow the mad gods, as the world itself is mad.

Um.  40K is a work of fiction. 
#2
Or Kill Me / Re: Breaking Point
October 04, 2024, 11:41:03 PM
Quote from: Majeh on October 04, 2024, 10:00:03 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 04, 2024, 07:29:31 PM
Quote from: Majeh on October 04, 2024, 04:57:57 AMThe massive problem with collective action in today's world is the massive oversight that the FBI, NSA, and CIA have over our lives.
Hell yeah. Beats blaming ourselves.
I mean, sure, ignore the very real very police state bullshit world we live in and, yeah, I guess it would be all our faults that we were born in the worst fucking timeline with shitty access to resources. :roll:

Note, I never said anything was impossible, but the reality is reality and if we ignore the very real road blocks ahead of us it becomes a one way ticket to having them steam roll us while we try to make any changes. If you have something to add that will grease the wheels of progress, I'm all ears.

Dude, the CIA is not spying on you.  They don't even know you exist.  They have no interest in your "subversive" ideas. 

Your phone IS spying on you, but it's for Amazon and Meta and Blackrock.  They DO have an interest, because they would like to sell you things with your subversive ideas printed on them.

You're paranoid, but you're not paranoid enough.  You worry about all the wrong things, and you are frustrated because The Man is supposedly in the way of you doing things that were largely ineffective way the hell back in the 1960s when the best they could do was listen in on your home phone.

Now you can't drive to the drugstore without being tracked by half a dozen OLRs, and ANYONE can track you with the phone you increasingly can't live without.

They - Amazon, Meta, the 4 remaining owners of all the major grocery stores, whatever - own the ball AND the ball park.  You can do "collective action" all day long, and nobody will care.  Unless you go overboard, in which case you can work for above said megacorps for $0.50/hour in a prison call center so you accumulate good time towards release.

The chance to overturn The Man came and went in 1960.  And, sadly, you can't lure your crush into bed by hollering about the revolution like you could in the good old days.

Eris never promised you freedom.

Eris never promised you good choices.

Eris only pointed out that you can still have a good time, that is, if you're serious about havin' a good time.

Or you can worry about shit you can't change.

That brings up a question:  Who are you trying to save? You can't save the rubes, because they LIKE this shit.  You can't save the poor, because you yourself lack the resources to do so.  You can't even save yourself, because you are part of the system you are bitching about.

Collective action.   :lulz:   You're already doing it.  Just not the way you imagined.




#3
I am at the moment taking a break from the voice programming for the doggie thing.

I chose a little girl voice to tell the victim that "help is on the way."  I thought it would be awesome to have them all say it at exactly the same time.  And it was.

Buth then I tried putting them 1/2 second out of sync with each other, and the hair on the back of my neck stood straight up.

Success is always nice.
#4
Or Kill Me / Re: Breaking Point
October 04, 2024, 07:29:31 PM
Quote from: Majeh on October 04, 2024, 04:57:57 AMThe massive problem with collective action in today's world is the massive oversight that the FBI, NSA, and CIA have over our lives.
Hell yeah. Beats blaming ourselves.
#5
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on October 01, 2024, 07:57:20 PMThat is not the light at the end of the tunnel.

No, that's just daylight reflecting off the company president's buttocks, as he moons us while he prances off to exercise his stock options.

I believe that it is a matter of flawed perspective.

The light at the end of the tunnel IS sunshine, but you're seeing it from the bottom of a well.
#6
Quote from: Pergamos on August 16, 2024, 08:05:44 PMYes, that's exactly my point.  We've got two options, both of which support genocide, to the point of arming the folks committing it, and sending troops to help make it happen.

I gotta ask, who promised you good choices?  :lulz:
#7
Quote from: Mandelbrot Slapper on September 14, 2024, 01:36:24 PMThere is a viable anti genocide candidate. It's Jill Stein.

 :lulz:  :lulz:  :lulz:
#8
Project meeting today:

Sally (NOT her real name):  "Okay, Hamish, nice work on the bottleneck on the rescue drone.  I'm moving you onto the new program."

Me:  "Okay."

Sally:  "No weaponizing it."

Me:  *gas face*

Sally:  "Seriously.  Also, I don't think this CAN be weaponized."

Me:  "Is that a fucking challenge?"

Sally:  "No.  Anyway, we're using the old Boston Dynamics 'dog' chassis as a search and rescue bot.  The idea is to use 6 of them, which will most efficiently search in a pattern in a given area of wilderness for the missing subject."

Me:  "Unnnnnnng"

Sally:  "Are you okay?"

Incompetence Coordinator Phil:  "He doesn't look okay."

Me:  "unnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng"

Sally:  "Hamish! Snap out of it."

Me:  "Sorry.  It's just that you told me to not weaponize what is already the best weapons system since the toilet drone."

Sally:  "The WHAT?"

Me:  "Ask yourself if you're better off knowing about that."

Sally:  "..."

Me:  "This is all normal, Sally."

Sally:  "What?  No it is..."

Me"  "Shhh.  It's robot doggie pack time."
#9
Sally:  "I admit I am curious, just how much would something like this go for with DARPA?"

Me:  "Not telling you."

Sally:  "Why the hell not?"

Me:  "Because if I do, by this time next year you will be calculating deaths per kilogram of RDX."

Sally:  "I will not!  I'm just curious."

Me:  *stares for 2 seconds too long*.

Sally:  *Stares back in boss*

Me:  "Why this is hell, nor am I out of it"

Sally:  "I actually caught that reference."

Me:  "We're going to do great things."
#10
So I spent some time talking to the executive director today.  For the purposes of this story, we'll call her Sally.  Which is not her real name.

Sally:  "I saw you at lunch. You were jamming out on something in your ear pods and drawing what looked like our machine.  I just wanted to let you know that we don't allow people to work through their lunch hours.  That's your time."

Me:  "While I appreciate that change from my usual experience, I wasn't actually working.  I was indulging myself while listening to Icona Pop's 'We love it' on infinite repeat."

Sally (NOT her real name, stop saying that):  "Okay, so what were you doing?"

Me:  "Well, I figured that if we could rescue people with this robot, we could probably also do other things with it.

Sally:  "Like what?"

Me:  "Well, if your enemy is in a bunker, you could use this.  Locate the voids, drill in, and then flood the place with nitrogen."

Sally:  *Horrified expression*

Me:  "Yeah, I'm not okay."

Sally:  "umm...What was that bit about 'Icona Pop,' then?"

Me:  "Well, they took something good and made something horrible out of it, so they are an inspiration.  I mean, the whole idea started when I wondered that if we didn't like the person we were rescuing, we could have the coms module serenade them with old episodes of the Lawrence Welk Show."

Sally:  "Who is that?"

Me:  "It's what we old bastards had to listen to before music was invented."

Sally:  "Fine.  I just need you to know that we build machines that HELP people."

Me:  "Sure, sure, I was just indulging my hobby on my time, as you say.  I knew you really didn't want a taste of that sweet, sweet DARPA money.  It's filthy stuff and it comes in huge, indigestible chunks."

Sally: "Um."

Me:  "No, Sally, stick to your principles.  There's nothing there but mountains of bloody lucre."

Sally:  "You should get out of my office now.  This is the weirdest conversation I have ever had in my life."

Me:  "This is all normal, Sally."
#11
Quote from: Faust on September 04, 2024, 11:08:20 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 04, 2024, 06:03:02 PM3.  Rotate augur back into position, drill through manikin, and continue to the next void.


I nearly blacked out laughing at this,  this story has a silver lining though, for me the scariest thing about the thought of being trapped in a cave or buried alive was slow dehydration or suffocating. Now it's the fresh he'll of the dark hentai monster seeking out out, that can rape, kill and finally/optionally rape you again.


Relax.  Help is on the way.   :lulz:
#12
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on September 04, 2024, 08:25:50 PMWoo!  I love these threads.

Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 04, 2024, 06:03:02 PMIn my guise as "unknown new guy" I suggested doing an autopsy on the Hentai Death Machine.  I was shouted down, and over the next two days, they slew two more manikins.

Their debug culture definitely needs improvement.  "Take it apart and see if anything looks wrong" should have been their first reaction.  Well, maybe second, after "check the cables".

The first response was to screech that each of them were surrounded by incompetents.

And what do you know?  They were all right.
#13
Okay, this is basically the continuation of the Billy Saga, but without Billy.  More dispatches from the front lines of hostile technology

So I quit.  I walked away from the MIC.  No more killer drones for me.  I am a changed man; I am here to help.

The new job is with a small company that thinks they are Boston Dynamics, and the project I was dropped into is for a rescue robot for people buried under collapsed buildings, parking garages, landslides,etc.

It looks like a large wheeled box with a giant Hentai tentacle thing coming out of it.  On the end of the tentacle, there is a rotary device that allows deployment of five items.

1.  A drilling auger.
2.  A chemical sniffer (to see if a body is alive or has begun decomposition.
3.  A ground penetrating radar module.
4.  An air line for flooding a void with fresh air.
5.  A microphone/speaker attachment for communication with trapped individuals.

The process goes like this:

1.  External GPF finds likely targets (voids).
2.  The Hentai thingie snakes its way through the rubble, using the auger when necessary.
3.  When it reaches the void, it rotates the sniffer to see if the target is alive or dead.
4.  Notify the operator of said status.
5.  If the target is dead, flag it in memory and go to the next void.
6.  If the target is alive, rotate the air line and the communications array in and provide air and coms to the trapped individual, while the crew above decides on the best method to free the trapped person.

I arrived before the first simulated test, which involved a large tank of rubble with a manikin inside dosed with the correct signatures for a live body.  Other voids contained air or water or methane.  The test performed as follows.

1.  Tentacle arrives at void with manikin. 
2.  Tentacle notifies the surface crew of the live victim.
3.  Rotates sensor head to air line and coms.
4.  Wait.

Only step three didn't happen.  Instead replace step 3 with:

3.  Rotate augur back into position, drill through manikin, and continue to the next void.

Needless to say, a lot of the people who thought I was a peer were not very happy about this.  I laughed, and they said many rude things to me, not yet knowing I am the director of their entire department.  I had asked that this not be announced before I got a feel for things.

In my guise as "unknown new guy" I suggested doing an autopsy on the Hentai Death Machine.  I was shouted down, and over the next two days, they slew two more manikins.

So I called them via Teams to attend a meeting in the conference room.  Pizza would be available.  Their self-esteem, sadly, not so much.

As they showed up, they asked me where the new director was.  Bear in mind that these people had spent the last 30 or so working hours hurling all manner of abuse at me.  I don't care, of course, but they don't know that.  I just smile, and watch their faces sink.

"Greetings. I am Doktor Howl, and I have come to you from the world of weaponized robotics.  Having arrived, I don't see any functional difference, other than your targets can't dodge."

*angry faces*

"However, I have looked over the project plans, and I believe I have found the problem."

*Immediate chaos and finger pointing*

"Please close your mouths. This isn't a conversation.  You are attempting to fix blame on each other, like a bunch of senior Russian officials, and this is none of your fault."

*suspicious looks*

"You spec'd the junction boxes as 'waterproof' and our purchasing agent saw that 'weatherproof' was half the cost of waterproof, and did not know the difference.  What's more, he didn't know there was a difference to be known.  He decided that he was an engineer or a technician thing whereas in the sidereal universe, he is a purchasing thing.  He is not hostile, but his KPIs are."

One engineer:  "So we've been flooding the controls and causing either a short or an open."

"Precisely.  You will prove my hypothesis by removing the water from the tank and trying again."

Next day, tank dry, test succeeds.  Back into the meeting room.

"I have ordered, though the purchaser, the correct NEMA rating for waterproof enclosures."

"So they're on order?"

"Not yet.  The purchaser felt the need to argue his point; to double down on being wrong.  This is a form of arrogance, and arrogance is a form of stupidity.  It also lowers your price tag.  As such, Purchaser thing has a new title and slightly different pay.  As our new Incompetence Coordinator, Phil has elected to sulk.  So I will order the boxes tonight.  And tomorrow is a new day."

"You changed his title to "incompetence coordinator?"

"Yes.  It seemed appropriate."

"It seems unhinged.  What did HR say to all this?"

"HR was not happy about it but complied. Those of you smarter than lichen will understand the implications of that compliance."

"Um.  We're fucked?"

"Of course not.  We're going to do great things."





#14
Quote from: Pergamos on August 10, 2024, 05:49:25 PMI think her support of the genocide in Israel is costing her a lot of support, and also costing those who might support her a lot of joy.
We get it.  You want Trump back.
#15
Why would anyone take the time to do that?

I just hope Faust gives me enough warning to hoover up some of my content.