Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Two vast and trunkless legs of stone => Topic started by: The Good Reverend Roger on June 08, 2016, 07:04:37 PM

Title: High Altitude Hell, part 2
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on June 08, 2016, 07:04:37 PM
This mountain is wrong.  Not bad, just wrong.  We are just North of Baboquivari (pronounced boe-bah-hee-vray), where the Llttoy (ee-toy), the Tohono O'odham God lives.  On our mountain, we have his "punch bowl", or so The Nation tells us.

But it doesn't look like a punchbowl.  No.  I don't even think the ancient Nation drank punch.  I think it looks like a toilet bowl.  The Nation, however, says that if you look into the lake at the bottom of the canyon, you can see visions.  Bear in mind that their religious beliefs dictate that Llttoy sent white people to them so they'd have someone to play jokes on.

However, the visions thing is true, even if I am basically staring into God's toilet bowl (pffft.  I live in Tucson.  Impress me.)  And I don't even need drugs, thought that won't necessarily stop me, either, because doing it straight is hard on the nerves.

LMNO, in a fit of prophecy, is holding his briefcase tightly against his chest.  He's older, and his hairline has receded.  He hasn't been out to the GAY BAR in longer than he can remember.  He starts to mumble to himself...Not like a crazy man, just plumb wore out.  "I can be anything I want to be."

Things don't look good for whitey.  Things in fact look really bad.  The snake is eating itself from the tail up.  Bad omens, filthy tales of failure as the best possible outcome.  It's worth mentioning that there isn't a single coyote on the mountain, but God damn those ravens are huge.  Bigger than the biggest parrots I've ever seen.  They are cheeky, and absolutely unafraid of men.

Junkenstein got the contract of his life.  He is to demolish the constitutional monarchy, all the way down to the House of Commons; Lord Protector Cameron is paying a pretty coin.  And it's not as if Junkie has any sort of loyalty to his fellow subjects.  They were dumb, and now they will get exactly what they asked for.

It's kind of like the ghost dance, but the white devil is doing it to himself.  And herself.  Posterity is a cattle car full of emaciated corpses, watching the play unfold.  They do not clap.  Please clap.

Queen Gogira and her friends man the barricades, as the newly-formed Morality Brigades™ march towards them, stun batons clashing on shields.  She clutches her can of oven cleaner, determined to give at least one of them a farewell present that he's never going to forget, before they haul her down off of the improvised roadblock.  Remember how fun the FIRST pride parade was?  Well, this is the LAST parade, and it's going to be a riot.

I'd tell you to pray, but it wouldn't do any good.  You earned this.  You in fact stood on the roof with your underwear on your head and DEMANDED it.  And now it has arrived...And so has the invoice.

More later.  My fingers feel like tiny sausages and typing is a chore.  And it's lunch time, so I'm off to the lake.

Or Kill Me.
Title: Re: High Altitude Hell, part 2
Post by: LMNO on June 08, 2016, 07:12:45 PM
:checks hairline:


Goddamit, Roger.



Great piece.
Title: Re: High Altitude Hell, part 2
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on June 08, 2016, 07:15:01 PM
Quote from: LMNO on June 08, 2016, 07:12:45 PM
:checks hairline:


Goddamit, Roger.



Great piece.

I was re-reading 30 Days last night, with a head full of ambien.
Title: Re: High Altitude Hell, part 2
Post by: LMNO on June 08, 2016, 07:16:03 PM
Shit.  I need to get that into shape.  I was in the middle of re-writing a chapter, and the muse left me.
Title: Re: High Altitude Hell, part 2
Post by: Eater of Clowns on June 08, 2016, 08:19:39 PM
Please clap. The loudspeaker blares. Please clap. One of the weary in the bread lines manages to abide. Please clap. He drops dead right after. Please clap.
Title: Re: High Altitude Hell, part 2
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on June 08, 2016, 08:21:31 PM
I was going to try to reply coherently, but need to compose myself. Face seems to be leaking. That's about the most orderly thing going on with my head right now.
Title: Re: High Altitude Hell, part 2
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on June 08, 2016, 09:18:57 PM
THIS IS THE FUTURE I SIGNED UP FOR.
Title: Re: High Altitude Hell, part 2
Post by: Suu on June 09, 2016, 12:07:29 AM
Roger showed me the Mountain Where God Lives from the Mountain Where Science Lives. He mentioned nothing about the toilet bowl. It was probably for the best.
Title: Re: High Altitude Hell, part 2
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on June 09, 2016, 04:20:32 AM
Quote from: The Suu on June 09, 2016, 12:07:29 AM
Roger showed me the Mountain Where God Lives from the Mountain Where Science Lives. He mentioned nothing about the toilet bowl. It was probably for the best.

I was saving that for next time.  Alongside the horrible ghost town and the plane wreck.

Oh, and the "Silent Hill" tunnels.
Title: Re: High Altitude Hell, part 2
Post by: Suu on June 09, 2016, 04:32:50 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 09, 2016, 04:20:32 AM
Quote from: The Suu on June 09, 2016, 12:07:29 AM
Roger showed me the Mountain Where God Lives from the Mountain Where Science Lives. He mentioned nothing about the toilet bowl. It was probably for the best.

I was saving that for next time.  Alongside the horrible ghost town and the plane wreck.

Oh, and the "Silent Hill" tunnels.

I did see a ghost town off of I-8 near the CA border. There was an RV and a pickup truck there, so I almost missed it. There will be more Tucson though. Like I mentioned in my story, the GPS just tried to get me to go back east on 8 for no reason.
Title: Re: High Altitude Hell, part 2
Post by: Cramulus on June 09, 2016, 03:13:41 PM
That was awesome
Title: Re: High Altitude Hell, part 2
Post by: ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞ on June 10, 2016, 09:24:29 PM
 :cpd:

So good.