Around and around the merry go round we go
faceless and swerving we are always kept turning
turning away from the truth given lower ups and lower lows
til you stop and the dizziness fades
you will never ever know whatever you know
Some need the spinning to hold them afloat
But if your strong enough to stand up on your own
then you can say goodbye to nothing and just let go
A life of humility we should all strive for
That's what the man said anyways
if you listen to him closely instead of blindly looking ahead
He'd tell you we were all sons and daughters
All sharing in the creation and playing our piece
To a puzzle that need never be quite solved
As long as you know that everything is one
And everything is a piece because everything is all
I liked it until the last two lines, when it suddenly turned into Buddhism.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 10, 2012, 06:40:40 PM
I liked it until the last two lines, when it suddenly turned into Buddhism.
Agreed, there seems to be a contradiction between
Quote from: Maddroxide on May 10, 2012, 06:36:05 PM
Around and around the merry go round we go
faceless and swerving we are always kept turning
turning away from the truth given lower ups and lower lows
you will never ever know whatever you know
(...)
As long as you know that everything is one
And everything is a piece because everything is all
However this IS poetry and the idea he is trying to convey may be going completely over my head. TBH it seems like the whole poem contradicts itself, which could be beautiful under the right light. Or it could be someone being pretentious. There are 42 reasons why I'm leaning towards the latter.
If everything was all, I'd be Kathy Ireland, and I'd be groping myself right now. But I find that I am not in fact Kathy Ireland, I am a grumpy middle aged fuck in an ancient office in a cranky fucking refinery, and I lack her amazing boobs & ass.
So Buddhism - being just another ism - can kiss my hairy, scabby arse.
That is all.
You know, most people are ruined on poetry because their first experience to it is the insipid shit they force you to read in school. I have the exact opposite problem: I love poetry, because my first exposure to it was Rudyard Kipling and Alfred Lord Tennyson. And I keep expecting to read more shit like they wrote, but I instead keep getting either A) horrible emo shit, or B) bliss-ninny loveburger shit.
It is for this reason that I think the public writing of poetry should be treated as any other public act of indecency, and those responsible should have their hands nailed together with industrial staples until they SHUT UP.
But that's just me.
The first poetry I ever read (after Kipling; for my tenth birthday I received a vintage leather-bound copy of The Jungle Book And Stories, complete with gold leaf and swastika embossing, which I still own in excellent condition) was Anne Sexton and Leonard Cohen, which admittedly did affect my view of poetry quite profoundly.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 10, 2012, 11:57:22 PM
If everything was all, I'd be Kathy Ireland, and I'd be groping myself right now. But I find that I am not in fact Kathy Ireland, I am a grumpy middle aged fuck in an ancient office in a cranky fucking refinery, and I lack her amazing boobs & ass.
So Buddhism - being just another ism - can kiss my hairy, scabby arse.
That is all.
Well actually you could be Kathy Ireland to me? Or maybe you are Kathy's alternate personality? Or you could just pretend. But you are as human as her.
Quote from: Maddroxide on May 14, 2012, 06:15:09 PM
But you are as human as her.
There was no need to get
personal, Maddman.
Human. The very
idea. :argh!:
Dok,
Pastor of the First Church of Yeti Wrath & Retribution.
But whoa and nonsense were both written in under 5 minutes on purpose just to see what I could get. The true meaning behind the poetry is that there isn't any. And that's beautiful.
Quote from: Maddroxide on May 14, 2012, 06:17:14 PM
But whoa and nonsense were both written in under 5 minutes on purpose just to see what I could get. The true meaning behind the poetry is that there isn't any. And that's beautiful.
So, it's basically like a quickie version of
The View, in free-form poetry?
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 14, 2012, 06:16:54 PM
Quote from: Maddroxide on May 14, 2012, 06:15:09 PM
But you are as human as her.
There was no need to get personal, Maddman.
Human. The very idea. :argh!:
Dok,
Pastor of the First Church of Yeti Wrath & Retribution.
Shut up Kathy and take your clothes off for me. Love me sexayy!!!
Quote from: Maddroxide on May 14, 2012, 06:19:00 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 14, 2012, 06:16:54 PM
Quote from: Maddroxide on May 14, 2012, 06:15:09 PM
But you are as human as her.
There was no need to get personal, Maddman.
Human. The very idea. :argh!:
Dok,
Pastor of the First Church of Yeti Wrath & Retribution.
Shut up Kathy and take your clothes off for me. Love me sexayy!!!
I can't. I mean, I CAN, but I'm still not nekkies. You could weave a Persian rug from any part of my body below the neck (and that's only because I shave my head, ears, and neck as a public service).
OK, I have a couple of things to say about this.
Because I'm bored and cranky.
First, what is up with the double spacing?
The shit is that, other than a pretentious device
to distract the reader from the content?
I mean, at least it's not centered,
but I have the feeling that the only reason it isn't
is because you didn't think of it.
Second, are you saying
that you slammed this out in a couple of minutes
with no meaning or sense of purpose
and then you posted it here?
Why? As a deliberate attempt
to insult the reader and waste her time?
Or did you have some other motivation,
or perhaps simply not think about it at all?
I tend to be a big advocate of thinking.
It's good for you, if for no other reason
than it gives you an edge
over all the other shrieking monkeys.
There are reasons Kipling and Tennyson are considered great poets, it should be pointed out, and that is the standard of much other poetry.
I never did too much poetry at school, actually, that I can recall. I may have repressed it. That said, I did an entire semester on Greek Lyrical Poetry at University and, despite my initial reservations and the fact I had to leave my dorm at the highly unreasonable time of 7:30 to get to the class, I actually grew to enjoy it.
Some of the Greek poetry, especially the earlier stuff, is not especially technically sophisticated. It is interesting...but in the kind of way the poetry of a culture ruled by tribal warlords and a raider/aristocrat class would be - brutal, uncompromising, lots of talk about the glory involved in killing one's enemies.
The later stuff though....ah. Sappho's poetry is, of course, beautiful. Alcaeus could go from bawdy drinking songs to depressive laments of his life in exile, and how he and his kin would avenge the tyrant who captured his beloved city. And Pindar was too clever by half, not only in his wordplay, but also his cultivation and flattery of monarchs to win their favour.
QuoteCreatures of a day! What is a man?
What is he not? A dream of a shadow
Is our mortal being. But when there comes to men
A gleam of splendour given of heaven,
Then rests on them a light of glory
And blessed are their days.
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on May 19, 2012, 05:02:53 PM
OK, I have a couple of things to say about this.
Because I'm bored and cranky.
First, what is up with the double spacing?
The shit is that, other than a pretentious device
to distract the reader from the content?
I mean, at least it's not centered,
but I have the feeling that the only reason it isn't
is because you didn't think of it.
Second, are you saying
that you slammed this out in a couple of minutes
with no meaning or sense of purpose
and then you posted it here?
Why? As a deliberate attempt
to insult the reader and waste her time?
Or did you have some other motivation,
or perhaps simply not think about it at all?
I tend to be a big advocate of thinking.
It's good for you, if for no other reason
than it gives you an edge
over all the other shrieking monkeys.
I think you missed the point. The reason for the double space is so that it clearly transcribes each line I'm trying to convey. Secondly, I slammed this out in a couple minutes being that that was the point. Randomness. Chaos. Fifthly, thanks for reading.
Quote from: Maddroxide on May 30, 2012, 03:37:58 AM
I think you missed the point. The reason for the double space is so that it clearly transcribes each line I'm trying to convey. Secondly, I slammed this out in a couple minutes being that that was the point. Randomness. Chaos. Fifthly, thanks for reading.
Bad poetry is no substitute for chaos. Neither is "randomness".
And while bad poetry is a legitimate art form (see: Joyce Kilmer), it is something that should be done in the privacy of your own home. And then you should wash your hands.
Quote from: Maddroxide on May 30, 2012, 03:37:58 AM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on May 19, 2012, 05:02:53 PM
OK, I have a couple of things to say about this.
Because I'm bored and cranky.
First, what is up with the double spacing?
The shit is that, other than a pretentious device
to distract the reader from the content?
I mean, at least it's not centered,
but I have the feeling that the only reason it isn't
is because you didn't think of it.
Second, are you saying
that you slammed this out in a couple of minutes
with no meaning or sense of purpose
and then you posted it here?
Why? As a deliberate attempt
to insult the reader and waste her time?
Or did you have some other motivation,
or perhaps simply not think about it at all?
I tend to be a big advocate of thinking.
It's good for you, if for no other reason
than it gives you an edge
over all the other shrieking monkeys.
I think you missed the point. The reason for the double space is so that it clearly transcribes each line I'm trying to convey. Secondly, I slammed this out in a couple minutes being that that was the point. Randomness. Chaos. Fifthly, thanks for reading.
Yeah there's a bit of that going around.
Quote from: Maddroxide on May 30, 2012, 03:37:58 AM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on May 19, 2012, 05:02:53 PM
OK, I have a couple of things to say about this.
Because I'm bored and cranky.
First, what is up with the double spacing?
The shit is that, other than a pretentious device
to distract the reader from the content?
I mean, at least it's not centered,
but I have the feeling that the only reason it isn't
is because you didn't think of it.
Second, are you saying
that you slammed this out in a couple of minutes
with no meaning or sense of purpose
and then you posted it here?
Why? As a deliberate attempt
to insult the reader and waste her time?
Or did you have some other motivation,
or perhaps simply not think about it at all?
I tend to be a big advocate of thinking.
It's good for you, if for no other reason
than it gives you an edge
over all the other shrieking monkeys.
I think you missed the point. The reason for the double space is so that it clearly transcribes each line I'm trying to convey. Secondly, I slammed this out in a couple minutes being that that was the point. Randomness. Chaos. Fifthly, thanks for reading.
Wow! How RaNDoM!!!
Being random is cool
It's like, all chaotic and stuff.
http://ohinternet.com/I%27m_so_random
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 10, 2012, 11:57:22 PM
But I find that I am not in fact Kathy Ireland, I am a grumpy middle aged fuck in an ancient office in a cranky fucking refinery, and I lack her amazing boobs & ass.
Is that you or is that a list of phenomena you experience?
Yeah. i'm ready to go full buddhist mode right now.
Quote from: Maddroxide on May 30, 2012, 03:37:58 AM
I slammed this out in a couple minutes being that that was the point. Randomness. Chaos.
Giving the benefit of the doubt here, which I (perhaps too) often do, I'm going to posit that he means that a quick, loose, nearly stream-of-consciousness structure and process shaped the poem, with which he wanted to incite a similar feeling of quick, loose, chaotic flow.
That said, I didn't personally like the poem much. It seems to have four messages, but it moves through each so briefly that it lacks a real thrust. But you said that's what you were going for. So I guess I'll stick with "I didn't like it." I wonder if you'll say you were going for that, too.
I liked it. Keep on keepin on man.
don't drop the chicken.....
Quote from: travisoftheorderofbluster on June 07, 2012, 04:39:41 AM
don't drop the chicken.....
At least not until you're done fucking it.
Dont forget to pass the chicken when your done with it. Everyone wants a turn...