Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Discordian Recipes => Topic started by: Freeky on January 24, 2012, 01:46:16 PM

Title: I guess Paula Deen is a diabetic.
Post by: Freeky on January 24, 2012, 01:46:16 PM
http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/deen_rep_out_of_the_kitchen_iNDvkrg7yWBUgTUqRbyZhM

And now that she's got a deal with some drug company, she's okay with people knowing about it.  Her PR lady quit because of the deal.

The end.
Title: Re: I guess Paula Deen is a diabetic.
Post by: Cain on January 24, 2012, 02:03:38 PM
Who could've guessed all those high sugar foods would've led to type two diabetes?  No one could have forseen etc etc.
Title: Re: I guess Paula Deen is a diabetic.
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on January 24, 2012, 02:06:08 PM
I definitely never suspected the overweight woman who fried ice cream sandwiches might develop diabetus.
Title: Re: I guess Paula Deen is a diabetic.
Post by: LMNO on January 24, 2012, 02:06:27 PM
The science is not definitive.


TEACH THE CONTROVERSY.
         \
:redneck2:
Title: Re: I guess Paula Deen is a diabetic.
Post by: Cramulus on January 24, 2012, 02:16:23 PM
I had never ever suspected that THAT CRAZY BITCH IS A DIABETIC CUNT. NOW SHE'S PURPOSELY CONTAMINATING PEOPLE'S FOOD WITH DIABETES, LEADING TO AMORAL NEEDLE USERS SPAGGING AROUND AND GOING EHHHH EHHH I NEED MY FIX SHIT DAMN FUCK I WANT TO STEAL SHIT AND BANG KIDS
Title: Re: I guess Paula Deen is a diabetic.
Post by: Luna on January 24, 2012, 04:17:48 PM
Now you've done it.

Who has Cram's pills?  It's make him take them, or somebody else's gramma will be crammed...
Title: Re: I guess Paula Deen is a diabetic.
Post by: Freeky on January 25, 2012, 07:51:44 AM
I was more surprised that she was hiding it, and then took a deal to promote a drug - isn't she filthy fucking rich enough? - and this action specifically made her PR lady quit. 

Why was she hiding it at all (other than because she's all like "EHHHH EHHH I NEED MY FIX SHIT DAMN FUCK I WANT TO STEAL SHIT AND BANG KIDS"[ :lulz: :lulz: ])?  Why did she feel the need to take a drug promotion deal at all other than for more money?  Why is she such a hypocrite?  Is the hypocrisy why her PR lady quit?
Title: Re: I guess Paula Deen is a diabetic.
Post by: Cain on January 25, 2012, 08:01:58 AM
My guess is being the PR hack for what is essentially a tub of lard with a permament grin finally took their psychological toll, and the diabetes thing was the final straw.

I mean, it's one thing to promote bad eating simply because you're a moron and want to get rich off people's desire to eat pure sugar all day without consequence.  But when you're promoting food that will cause type 2 diabetes, then you're making money off people treating type two diabetes....well, that starts to look less like stupidity and more like malice.
Title: Re: I guess Paula Deen is a diabetic.
Post by: Freeky on January 25, 2012, 08:07:44 AM
Quote from: Cain on January 25, 2012, 08:01:58 AM
My guess is being the PR hack for what is essentially a tub of lard with a permament grin finally took their psychological toll, and the diabetes thing was the final straw.

I mean, it's one thing to promote bad eating simply because you're a moron and want to get rich off people's desire to eat pure sugar all day without consequence.  But when you're promoting food that will cause type 2 diabetes, then you're making money off people treating type two diabetes....well, that starts to look less like stupidity and more like malice.

See, this here is something I never would have thought about, but it makes perfect sense.  Thanks. :)
Title: Re: I guess Paula Deen is a diabetic.
Post by: navkat on January 25, 2012, 12:41:21 PM
Never underestimate stupidity...especially where gluttony is involved.
Title: Re: I guess Paula Deen is a diabetic.
Post by: Cain on January 25, 2012, 12:54:06 PM
Its also more probably a case of the PR person looking at the above situation, thinking for any possible good way to spin it, then going "fuck it, I'm not a miracle worker, and you don't pay me enough to put up with this shit.  See ya."
Title: Re: I guess Paula Deen is a diabetic.
Post by: Scribbly on January 25, 2012, 01:04:52 PM
"Paula Deen: A woman unafraid to put her mouth where her money is."

I should totally get into PR.
Title: Re: I guess Paula Deen is a diabetic.
Post by: navkat on January 25, 2012, 01:27:30 PM
"Why let your pancreas stop you from living life to the fullest?

I'm Paula Deen. You may recognize me from places like the Food Network and from my fabulous line of beautiful Wal Mart cookware. Well I'm here to share with you my little secret for maintaining my glorious lifestyle without being slowed down by a little thing like high blood sugar. It's called insulin and I gotta tell ya: it's been a real life saver! And now, I'm teaming up with Eli Lily to bring you a system that'll make it easier than EVER for you to get the MOST out of life without having to give up the things you love: the Paula Deen Deluxe Insulin System! Don't you just love this? It's got everything you need to test, monitor and bring your blood sugar down from those "crazy four-hundreds" without giving up a thing...and withOUT all the vodka tonics!"
Title: Re: I guess Paula Deen is a diabetic.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on January 25, 2012, 02:12:00 PM
Quote from: navkat on January 25, 2012, 01:27:30 PM
"Why let your pancreas stop you from living life to the fullest?

I'm Paula Deen. You may recognize me from places like the Food Network and from my fabulous line of beautiful Wal Mart cookware. Well I'm here to share with you my little secret for maintaining my glorious lifestyle without being slowed down by a little thing like high blood sugar. It's called insulin and I gotta tell ya: it's been a real life saver! And now, I'm teaming up with Eli Lily to bring you a system that'll make it easier than EVER for you to get the MOST out of life without having to give up the things you love: the Paula Deen Deluxe Insulin System! Don't you just love this? It's got everything you need to test, monitor and bring your blood sugar down from those "crazy four-hundreds" without giving up a thing...and withOUT all the vodka tonics!"

:mittens:

I'm sold.
Title: Re: I guess Paula Deen is a diabetic.
Post by: Cramulus on January 25, 2012, 02:30:50 PM
Quote from: Cain on January 25, 2012, 08:01:58 AM
I mean, it's one thing to promote bad eating simply because you're a moron and want to get rich off people's desire to eat pure sugar all day without consequence.  But when you're promoting food that will cause type 2 diabetes, then you're making money off people treating type two diabetes....well, that starts to look less like stupidity and more like malice.

Diabetics: acting maliciously, getting people hooked on drugs... anybody surprised here?

People with diabetes are TRASH.
Title: Re: I guess Paula Deen is a diabetic.
Post by: AFK on January 25, 2012, 03:34:03 PM
I suppose this means Wiford Brimley better start updating his resume.  You know she's going to be trying to weasel into his shit.