Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Discordian Recipes => Topic started by: Freeky on October 14, 2011, 08:21:48 PM

Title: Freeky's pimping guacamole dip
Post by: Freeky on October 14, 2011, 08:21:48 PM
8 avacados
3/4 pound of bacon covered in pepper
1/4 cup lemon juice
1/2 - 2/3 elephant garlic bulb
1-2 tsp liquid smoke
1/2 cup those little orange tomatoes
salt
paprika
less than 1/4 cup sun dried tomatoes (jarred in oil)

cook the bacon until it is very crispy, adding in the liquid smoke in 1/2 tsp increments per batch, and will shatter when it's cooled off.  While the bacon cooks, peel and deseed the avocados and stick them in a big bowl and mash them up.  Beat that shit like some benjies went missing and the ho ain't talking.

Mince the garlic, add the lemon juice and salt (however much you want, I suggest not more than 2 TBSP) and set aside for an hour and some.  Break up the bacon into tiny bits and mix into your bitch mash.

Mix in the garlic after it sits.  Dice the tiny tomatoes and add them, too, and also the sun-dreid tomatoes.  That bitch mash stole those benjies and spent them on liquor, better have your boys teach her a lesson (mix up the stuff really well, mashing it up if necessary).  

Eat it on stuff.

Edited for missing step and ingredient.
Title: Re: Freeky's pimping guacamole dip
Post by: Triple Zero on October 14, 2011, 08:24:49 PM
DAAAAAAAAMN I love wackymoly!
Title: Re: Freeky's pimping guacamole dip
Post by: Freeky on October 14, 2011, 08:41:25 PM
This stuff is awesome and delicious. :D
Title: Re: Freeky's pimping guacamole dip
Post by: Jenne on October 21, 2011, 10:04:40 PM
Ooh, that's one I haven't eaten before!  Wanna try!
Title: Re: Freeky's pimping guacamole dip
Post by: Freeky on October 21, 2011, 11:57:39 PM
We will be nomming on tonight at a party!  :D
Title: Re: Freeky's pimping guacamole dip
Post by: fanglekai on December 01, 2011, 08:51:46 PM
You don't use any chilis?

You ought to invest in a molcajete & tejolote. It's the traditional Mexican way of preparing guacamole where you get the consistency just right.
Title: Re: Freeky's pimping guacamole dip
Post by: Freeky on December 01, 2011, 09:35:37 PM
Quote from: fanglekai on December 01, 2011, 08:51:46 PM
You don't use any chilis?

You ought to invest in a molcajete & tejolote. It's the traditional Mexican way of preparing guacamole where you get the consistency just right.

Screw traditional, I go for taste and innovation.  :D
Title: Re: Freeky's pimping guacamole dip
Post by: Jenne on December 02, 2011, 07:58:12 PM
I STILL need to try this.  Hmph.
Title: Re: UMLIMITED FANG APPRECIATION THREAD
Post by: fanglekai on December 02, 2011, 08:03:21 PM
Quote from: Jenne on December 02, 2011, 07:50:33 PM
No, Freeky's used to rude ass bastards fucking up her cooking threads.

You ain't the first, Buttmunchie.

making a suggestion is fucking up her thread?

my my the butthurt levels here are astounding
Title: Re: Freeky's pimping guacamole dip
Post by: Precious Moments Zalgo on December 03, 2011, 04:43:12 AM
Dammit, I was going to make a joke dipshit post like the ones Freeky usually gets on her threads in DR, but fanglekai beat me to it with a real one.

:argh!:

ETA: That sounds nummy, Freeky.
Title: Re: Freeky's pimping guacamole dip
Post by: Freeky on December 03, 2011, 05:15:42 AM
Quote from: Precious Moments Zalgo on December 03, 2011, 04:43:12 AM
Dammit, I was going to make a joke dipshit post like the ones Freeky usually gets on her threads in DR, but fanglekai beat me to it with a real one.

:argh!:

ETA: That sounds nummy, Freeky.

nomnomnom

You can still make one if you want to.  :lol:
Title: Re: Freeky's pimping guacamole dip
Post by: Precious Moments Zalgo on December 03, 2011, 05:28:51 AM
Ok.

Nawhaw your doing it wrong.  The Aztecs on the Yucatan didn't have liquid smoke, and they didn't put pepper on there bacon neither, so that's not authentic guacamole.

But seriously, I make guacamole all the time, and I never thought of putting bacon in it.  Want.
Title: Re: Freeky's pimping guacamole dip
Post by: Freeky on December 03, 2011, 05:41:14 AM
Quote from: Precious Moments Zalgo on December 03, 2011, 05:28:51 AM
Ok.

Nawhaw your doing it wrong.  The Aztecs on the Yucatan didn't have liquid smoke, and they didn't put pepper on there bacon neither, so that's not authentic guacamole.

But seriously, I make guacamole all the time, and I never thought of putting bacon in it.  Want.

HEE HEE!  Aztecs...
Title: Re: Freeky's pimping guacamole dip
Post by: lowdy on December 03, 2011, 01:09:12 PM
no peppers? what is this....
Title: Re: Freeky's pimping guacamole dip
Post by: East Coast Hustle on December 03, 2011, 04:28:31 PM
Is there an echo in here?
Title: Re: Freeky's pimping guacamole dip
Post by: Triple Zero on December 03, 2011, 08:27:59 PM
I'm pretty sure this is a recipe from the northern coastal fjords of Mexico.
Title: Re: Freeky's pimping guacamole dip
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 03, 2011, 08:34:26 PM
Of all of the guacamole-eaters, only the Fjord peoples traditionally put bacon in their guacamole, having from ancient times traded maize with Great Britain in exchange for pigs.
Title: Re: Freeky's pimping guacamole dip
Post by: Cain on December 04, 2011, 12:19:54 AM
Wait.  I'm still struggling with this.  You mean....they didn't use peppers?  :?
Title: Re: Freeky's pimping guacamole dip
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 04, 2011, 12:49:11 AM
Quote from: Cain on December 04, 2011, 12:19:54 AM
Wait.  I'm still struggling with this.  You mean....they didn't use peppers?  :?

No. You see, the Mexicans of the Sonoran Fjords grew many varieties of pepper with which to ornament their crushed-quartz landscaping, but did not discover their edibility until 1947, when a group of native Californians led by the famous indian bandit Julia Child attacked one of their villages in search of brandy and was taken captive. In exchange for her freedom, Julia Child taught them to make guacamole in the traditional Japanese style, using chilies directly from their ornamental gardens and forever earning the respect of the Fjord peoples.
Title: Re: Freeky's pimping guacamole dip
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on December 04, 2011, 01:34:10 AM
I LOVE THIS STORY! TELL IT AGAIN!
Title: Re: Freeky's pimping guacamole dip
Post by: Freeky on December 04, 2011, 01:36:33 AM
Quote from: Sir Squid Diddimus on December 04, 2011, 01:34:10 AM
I LOVE THIS STORY! TELL IT AGAIN!

THIS!!

This is probably the funniest troll I've ever seen.  :lulz:

Also, "northern coast of India."  :lulz:
Title: Re: Freeky's pimping guacamole dip
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on December 06, 2011, 01:41:51 AM
HAHA I didn't even see that the first time
Title: Re: Freeky's pimping guacamole dip
Post by: DECI4 on December 06, 2011, 08:59:40 AM
Liquid smoke?  :weary:
Title: Re: Freeky's pimping guacamole dip
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 06, 2011, 08:08:15 PM
Quote from: DECI4 on December 06, 2011, 08:59:40 AM
Liquid smoke?  :weary:

No. You see, the Mexicans of the Sonoran Fjords grew many varieties of pepper with which to ornament their crushed-quartz landscaping, but did not discover their edibility until 1947, when a group of native Californians led by the famous indian bandit Julia Child attacked one of their villages in search of brandy and was taken captive. In exchange for her freedom, Julia Child taught them to make guacamole in the traditional Japanese style, using chilies directly from their ornamental gardens and forever earning the respect of the Fjord peoples.
Title: Re: Freeky's pimping guacamole dip
Post by: DECI4 on December 06, 2011, 08:27:34 PM
Quote from: Nigel on December 06, 2011, 08:08:15 PM
Quote from: DECI4 on December 06, 2011, 08:59:40 AM
Liquid smoke?  :weary:

No. You see, the Mexicans of the Sonoran Fjords grew many varieties of pepper with which to ornament their crushed-quartz landscaping, but did not discover their edibility until 1947, when a group of native Californians led by the famous indian bandit Julia Child attacked one of their villages in search of brandy and was taken captive. In exchange for her freedom, Julia Child taught them to make guacamole in the traditional Japanese style, using chilies directly from their ornamental gardens and forever earning the respect of the Fjord peoples.

Really impressive. Pat yourself on the back if you haven't already. Can a mod sticky this thread?