One day people found Hoja Nasruddin "pouring the remains of his yogurt into the lake.
"Hoja Nasrudin , what are you doing? A man asked.
"I am turning the lake into yogurt" Hoja Nasrudin replied.
"But surely the lake is far too large" the man replied "it will not turn into yogurt!"
Hoja Nasrudin looked at him and asked, "But what if it does?"
--------------
Then the lake did turn into yogurt, all the fish died, and everyone died of starvation. :?
One day Nasrudin was riding on his donkey alone in the desert, eating popcorn shrimp (because damn, who knew shrimp liked yogurt so much and that it cleaned their digestive tract for you thus voiding, oh, half a dozen religious proscriptions against cleaning and eating them).
A gang of mercenaries escorting a scholar were riding the other way, down a steep ravine pass. The scholar shaded his eyes and peered down, "Is that my good friend Nasrudin riding along alone? I wonder what he's up to..." The leader of the mercenaries ordered a squad to ride down to see if the lone traveler was indeed Nasrudin the Wise Spag, which they did which much raising of dust.
Nasrudin meanwhile looked up from his empty shrimp basket with awe, wondering what other wonders the Chaos would deliver up to this Universe next. He saw an armed band of mercenaries riding hard at him from the hills. Looking around and thinking quickly, the Wise Spag urges his donkey into a nearby graveyard, ducking and hiding between the mausoleums and crumbling architecture. By this time the scholar has ridden close enough to recognize his friend fleeing through the graveyard, and thus urges the rest of the host closer.
Peering down the road and seeing a small army riding towards his hiding place, he abandons his mount with a squawk and dives into the nearest open grave. Wondering if this is how the shrimp felt, he hears many armed men dismount, and the jingle of a few individuals in chain and mail approaching his hiding place. Breathing so low and slowly that he damn nearly belonged in his chosen hiding place (and so he wouldn't piss himself), his breath catches when a silhouette blocks the sun.
"Nasrudin? My friend?" he hears a familiar voice say, and the looming death resolves into the face of a close friend. Nasrudin giggles. He shakes, he rolls with laughter. The cackles echo out of the grave.
"Nasrudin! What are you doing in there?" his friend demands, bewildered. Nasrudin howls with laughter and bangs his fists upon stones and skulls.
"IT'S FAR TOO COMPLICATED TO EXPLAIN", he nearly shouts, "BUT LET US SAY THAT YOU ARE HERE BECAUSE OF ME, AND THAT I AM HERE BECAUSE OF YOU."
(http://www.messagefrommasters.com/Jokes/OshoMullaNasruddinJokes.jpg)
One day Nasrudin was sitting in the marketplace in front of a basket full of hot peppers, eating one after the other. His eyes were watering, his face was red and contorted, and he was obviously suffering greatly, but still he continued to eat the hot peppers. When someone finally asked him why he was doing this, Nasrudin replied, "I'm looking for a sweet one."
This is all starting to read like "BE HERE NOW" :lol:
Mulla Nasruddin was dying, on his deathbed, almost in a coma. The doctor came to see him. The doctor was drunk; he took his pulse but could not find any pulse because he was holding the hand in the wrong way. He looked at Nasruddin's face and said to his wife, "I'm sorry to say it, but your husband is dead."
At that very moment, Nasruddin opened his eyes and said, "What! I am alive!"
The wife said, "You keep quiet. He knows better, he is a doctor, an M.D., Ph.D., F.R.C.S. You have some nerve to deny an authority! Keep quiet!"
The Smuggler
Time and again Nasrudin passed from Persia to Greece on donkey-back. Each time he had two panniers of straw, and trudged back without them. Every time the guard searched him for contraband. They never found any.
'What are you carrying, Nasrudin?' the guards always demanded.
'I am a smuggler.' he would reply with a smile.
Years later, more and more prosperous in appearance, Nasrudin moved to Egypt. One of the customs men chanced to meet him there.
'Tell me, Mulla, now that you are out of the jurisdiction of Greece and Persia, living here in such luxury – what was it that you were smuggling when we could never catch you?'
'Donkeys!'
(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_l_Cg-PckxN4/SrBfdSojGVI/AAAAAAAAA-E/brXui73lToI/s1600/Nasrudin.jpg)
I like this because I've never actually heard of Nasruddin before.
Nasrudin is the Sufi "Wise Spag", i.e. the Illuminated Everyman Idiot.
Are You Asleep?
Nasrudin was lying on his couch with his eyes closed.
His brother-in-law went up to him and asked, "Are you asleep?"
"Why do you ask?" Nasrudin replied.
"I was wondering if you could lend me three hundred dollars," said the other.
"Well," answered Nasrudin, "let's return to your fist question—'Are you asleep?'
The answer is yes I am—so leave me alone!"
Walnuts and Watermelons
As Nasrudin rested under a tall walnut tree one day, he looked a few yards to his side and noticed a big watermelon growing on a thin vine near the ground.
Nasrudin looked up and said, "Great God, please permit me to ask you this: why is it that walnuts grow on big strong trees, while watermelons grow on think weak vines. Shouldn't it be the other way around?"
But at that very moment, a walnut fell from high on up in the tree and hit Nasrudin square on the head.
"Ah!" remarked Nasrudin. "I suppose Nature's ways might not be as backward as I thought!"
Quote from: Telarus on June 11, 2012, 04:57:33 PM
Walnuts and Watermelons
As Nasrudin rested under a tall walnut tree one day, he looked a few yards to his side and noticed a big watermelon growing on a thin vine near the ground.
Nasrudin looked up and said, "Great God, please permit me to ask you this: why is it that walnuts grow on big strong trees, while watermelons grow on think weak vines. Shouldn't it be the other way around?"
But at that very moment, a walnut fell from high on up in the tree and hit Nasrudin square on the head.
"Ah!" remarked Nasrudin. "I suppose Nature's ways might not be as backward as I thought!"
I actually like this one. :lulz:
There was a wealthy farmer who lived across the river from Nasrudin, who had a beautiful daughter. Both Nasrudin and Nidursan went to the farmer to ask for her hand in marriage.
All things being equal, the farmer decided to have a contest and instructed Nasrudin and Nidursan to go forth and pick 100 of their favorite fruit. Nasrudin returned first with a bucket of grapes.
"Now put them up your ass" said the farmer. Nasrudin weighed the benefits and complied. When he got 99 graped inserted, he started laughing so hard that all the grapes shot out of his ass.
"What's so funny?" asked the farmer.
Nasrudin replied: "Nidursan had watermelons."
:lulz:
Nasrudin Eats Dates
A man noticed Nasrudin eating dates with their seeds.
"Why are you eating the seeds" the man asked.
"Because," explained Nasrudin, "the merchant who sold them to me included the weight of the seeds in the cost."
(http://hindi-comedy.com/humour/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Mullah_nasruddin_jokes-tales-and-story-cartoon-13.jpg&sa=X&ei=_OnXT8-NFovU2QXog_yIDw&ved=0CAkQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNGxJAoaGH3GpnbpG0EVGSJ86jYkoQ)
Quote from: Telarus on June 13, 2012, 02:17:33 AM
http://www.hindi-comedy.com/mullah-nasruddin-jokes-and-tales-is-your-wife-at-home
Fixed your link.
Damn, I was wondering why that pic of a giraffe fucking a donkey while a cartoon Nasrudin runs away wasn't getting comments (on PD.com of all places).
:lulz: Thanks.