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Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: April 13, 2022, 09:12:36 pm »
It just keeps going. Thereís no pausing the joke for a sly wink, because itís entirely fucking serious. Thatís my favorite part.

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: April 13, 2022, 05:34:00 am »
Howl, you have to read this shit. I swear to god. The phrase "if my baby gets sick I will commit Zamboni Crimes" is in the opening fucking paragraph.

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: April 12, 2022, 07:09:49 am »
Should probably say more in terms of specs:
16GB of RAM is exactly sufficient for my needs.
The CPU in the G14 is still more hefty than I actually need.
A 2050 Ti is a minimum requirement for the dev work, and I'd really honestly feel that step back from the 2060.

Absolute must: 4 hours of battery life minimum, with regular load (web browsing, Youtube, Google Docs).

Don't need anything more than a 1080p, 60hz screen. IPS is nice but not remotely necessary. DOES need to be visible in brightly lit locations.

Don't need speakers worth mentioning at all, so long as I can watch a Youtube video and hear it I'm fine. For everything else, there's headphones.

I don't need fancy Wi-Fi, I can't make use of it anyway. Bluetooth IS a must, but I have a dongle for that so I don't need it on-board.

MUST HAVE 3+ USB PORTS. Even if they're USB-C, I need ALL of that I/O. This is literally the only point I feel even slightly pressured on by the G14, but it has two USB-C ports and I have a USB-C dock, so it's fine.

Must weigh 20lbs or less, and be less than 17". Smaller is better, there are TVs and monitors everywhere and I have good eyes.

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: April 12, 2022, 06:39:35 am »
I do a lot of music and sound design stuff that helps me put food on my plate, so CPU and storage (1TB of storage, minimum) are a must.
I'm, historically speaking, chronically homeless and even though I'm housed now, I'm shit-terrified of ending up back in it literally all the time, so long battery life is a must.
And I get roped into game dev projects constantly (just got pulled into a team again last month, in fact), and can only see the girl I'm dating on Elden Ring currently (COVID lockdown + hazardous for trans people to take transit right now and neither of us has a vehicle), so a decent GPU is a must.

Cheapest thing I know of that exactly fulfills my needs is the machine I have now: an ASUS Zephyrus G14. (Originally from PUA monies, so I can't just reach into the same hat to replace it.) It's also the very first computer I've ever had that has never felt distressingly limited in any way, whether by size, immobility, potato specs or SD card-level storage, so I admit to a bit of possible bias towards it.

Technically 1600 is a ceiling, if I am forced to get the 2022 model from Best Buy + accounting for shipping costs, which does seem like the best deal right now. Bezos-mart has the 2020 model, which I have now and would be perfectly happy with another of, for 1400 + shipping. Unfortunately, I am literally banned from Amazon. No, really, they fucking banned me in 2020. No joke.

(Either of those could be even cheaper used, but I've learned my lesson about used laptops the hard way and won't do it again. Refurbished is entirely acceptable, even preferable, though.)

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: April 12, 2022, 03:10:10 am »
My poor laptop, now on its 3rd year of extreme use and abuse, is on its last legs. Ran a battery health check and the last time the battery reported it was at full charge, it was holding 19% of the rated amount when new. Believe me, I have noticed: it dies in under an hour (rated for 10 hours) and the battery heats up sufficient to cook your forearm while its plugged in. Honestly, given the size, price, power and brand new rated battery life, it's a wonder it lasted this long still mostly functioning. I got every cent worth out of it and then some, and it literally saved my life on multiple occasions.

The cost of replacing the battery is ehhh, around 150 USD, but it isn't a task for the faint-of-heart and if you fuck the ridiculously fragile-but-efficient cooling system while removing it to get to the battery, it's game over for the machine. Lift it the wrong way and you've already broken it. I've also been having increasingly distressing errors... Google throwing glitch-puke triangles up on results pages, random freezes and bluescreens, etc. It's just an old machine that was used daily from sun up till sundown, and it's time to shut it down for good here soon.


I need to come up with ~1600 for a replacement. I'm not springing for an upgrade, just the same exact model is fine by me, it's just that computers that aren't Raspberry Pis are upsettingly expensive these days. So, uh, if anyone wants to kick in toward an unexpected expense, let me know.

Apple Talk / Re: Seriously, NOW where is the Youtube thread?
« on: April 12, 2022, 02:52:49 am »
Holy fuck.

Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« on: April 11, 2022, 11:51:33 pm »
Yeah. Also, the mindset of that sort of meathead is "If no one's in charge, I should be in charge." Nevermind that benevolent dictatorships only last as long as it takes for some yokel to catch Glorious Leader on a bad day, they read a book by some teeth-for-brains chud like Jordan Peterson and think they are the big strong man to solve it all, by golly.

Apple Talk / Re: Introductions VIII: Some bad news for new folks
« on: April 11, 2022, 11:46:36 pm »
Welcome back! I think we interacted like literally once during the long slow decline of PeeDee.

The Dok's right. The diagnosis is terminal. There's nothing here. It's a fucking wasteland. These days I do most of my evil on Twitter and only come here to say shit that would make Parag Agrawal's head turn into meat confetti like the bit from Scanners.

Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« on: April 11, 2022, 11:40:49 pm »
Somehow, I'm not surprised that this is how it is behind the scenes. It fits my image of the world. Also, it sorta explains why accelerationist weirdoes and fascists are everywhere.

See, I think the second one is right. MOSTLY because I want to help them play out War of the Worlds on Alabama (they clearly need the help), but still!

This all sort of comes back to the various UFO hypotheses.  Nuts-and-bolts, psychic world, ultraterrestrials, government-aided con artistry, there are some others.

That stuff, the UFO stuff, has been a topic of discussion in the Aftermathematics book club. I'd throw Cramulus a PM for an invite if you want to talk about that sort of thing with people who have discussed a lot of it. I'd throw you one personally but I don't have the server in my list right now.

Apple Talk / Re: Official shit on rong thread
« on: April 10, 2022, 02:25:40 am »
It is.

Apple Talk / Re: Official shit on rong thread
« on: April 09, 2022, 03:14:32 am »
I don't want to call it too early, but I mean, the behavior modification seems to work.

Now, I grant you, this was sort of like "they plinked a fleck of paint off of the battlecruiser with a BB gun, prepare the 8 inch guns", but Fraudulence is my middle name and escalation is my specialty.

Apple Talk / Re: Official shit on rong thread
« on: April 09, 2022, 01:01:15 am »
We should have 3 hours before his email turns into tomato paste. I almost feel bad.


See, I signed him up for 4 different Christian fundie newsletter distribution houses and checked every box along the way. Also: baby and pregnancy newsletters.

He'll be getting Gerber ads and Psalm-of-the-day emails until the sun burns out.

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: April 08, 2022, 07:06:18 am »
Today was good. Oh yes, genuinely good. And what a fucking end to my night. I'll just copypaste from Twitter.

It's finally happened. I'm a horror movie antagonist. Really. Oh man. I am so proud of this day.

SO: I go into a gas station. Still have scars on my face from my most recent bout of self-harm. Got my respirator on, and my laptop in its beefy plastic case slung over my shoulder. Wearing my edgy ass long coat, milsurp clothes, fucked up old boots.

"What the fuck is THAT?" The two drunkest men alive come up to me and start gawking. "What IS that?!" In my best fuck-off voice: "That would be ME."

Not good enough for them. They speculate about what I am, "Star Wars fan?" and I stop humoring them. So I'm buying cigarettes.

Behind me: "No, wait, I heard about this. It's like, a life support system. See the thing? Yeah, like, if your heart stops working, you know? So..." Checkout complete, on my way out the door. "--Wait wait, so that's a fuckin dead person?"

Horror movie antagonist. Fucking love it.

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