Okay, the weather has driven a rather large rat into my building. Big brown bastard with scabs and sores all over it and a malignant intelligence gleaming in its eyes. I hate the bastard...He's up to no fucking good. We tried to drive it out, but it just went right up the shelves into the ceiling risers. The fucker's making all sorts of noise up there now, planning something. I can sense it. Lots of noise, but it's all gibberish and thumping.
It's like having the Tea Party in your office.
Where are all the fucking snakes when you finally need them? Oh, yeah. Hibernating, the lazy bastards. All summer long, the fuckers are waiting in the back 40, like cousin Billy that Pa locked in the attic so he couldn't bite the neighbors or the mailman anymore. Useless.
I have my two new I&E techs devising some sort of SCIENCE to get rid of the Goddamn thing, but it's not the same without Crazy Jeff, who would have blown half the roof off by now. These other guys are good, but they aren't serious about having a good time.
And now there's piss dripping out of the ceiling risers in the unused room adjoining my office. Something's gotta be done. But not now. For now, I'll just sit here freezing, wrapped in 3 layers of Nomex and wishing someone had thought to install a real heater in this fucking building.
This is BULLSHIT. I moved here to get away from this shit (among other reasons). There is ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE for this weather. Or that fucking rat. Or the Goddamn Tea Party to which it is most likely related.
Miserably yours,
TGRR
JACK RUSSEL TERRIER.
MONGOOSE.
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on January 15, 2013, 04:34:09 PM
JACK RUSSEL TERRIER.
See? That's why I always ask Nigel about this shit.
You'll never regret it.
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on January 15, 2013, 04:37:40 PM
You'll never regret it.
The terrier might. This is a tough-looking rat. A survivor. You can tell just by looking at him. Odds are, the only reason he hasn't died of the plague is that the yersinia pestis is too busy fighting with the yellow fever.
Two Jack Russells, then.
And that whiskey-stealing cat.
Quote from: Wuli Fufu on January 15, 2013, 04:41:59 PM
Two Jack Russells, then.
And that whiskey-stealing cat.
Cat is dead. Died of stepping on a coyote, unless I miss my guess.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 15, 2013, 04:45:53 PM
Quote from: Wuli Fufu on January 15, 2013, 04:41:59 PM
Two Jack Russells, then.
And that whiskey-stealing cat.
Cat is dead. Died of stepping on a coyote, unless I miss my guess.
:sad:
Hope he got a few punches in before he went.
Quote from: Wuli Fufu on January 15, 2013, 05:09:39 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 15, 2013, 04:45:53 PM
Quote from: Wuli Fufu on January 15, 2013, 04:41:59 PM
Two Jack Russells, then.
And that whiskey-stealing cat.
Cat is dead. Died of stepping on a coyote, unless I miss my guess.
:sad:
Hope he got a few punches in before he went.
Probably not. But I bet the coyote was really fucking sick later.
Anyway, I'm assuming he's dead. Haven't seen the little bastard in weeks.
Gas the fucker. Nothing is too good for vermin, get "Mousechwitz" on its ass.
OR - Throwing hammers. I know you have them.
There's a thread on Ravelry about humane ways to kill vermin. Apparently the latest craze is 'humane' traps that electrocute the mice. I'm sure you could come up with something better, Roger. You've got acid and all sorts of fun things on hand.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 15, 2013, 09:40:23 PM
There's a thread on Ravelry about humane ways to kill vermin. Apparently the latest craze is 'humane' traps that electrocute the mice. I'm sure you could come up with something better, Roger. You've got acid and all sorts of fun things on hand.
TRUE FACT: In our 18500 VAC panel, we have a mouse in the Karate Kid pose, eternally frozen where he had stepped.
It's not worth the permit or the contractor to remove him, so there he stays.
Well, I guess the solution is clear. Electrify the girders and I-beams in your building's support structures.
Fuck that noise. I say train the rat to make slight adjustments to calibration equipment when the engineers aren't looking, then sit back and watch them blame each other for the ensuing chaos then, just when the rat thinks it's curried you good favour, stamp on it's head.