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Messages - chaotic neutral observer

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They'd built a house of straw. The thundering machines sputtered and stopped. Their leaders talked and talked and talked. But nothing could stem the avalanche. Their world crumbled. The cities exploded. A whirlwind of looting, a firestorm of fear. Men began to feed on men.

On the roads it was a white line nightmare. Only those mobile enough to scavenge, brutal enough to pillage would survive. The gangs took over the highways, ready to wage war for a tank of slurp juice. And in this maelstrom of decay, ordinary men were battered and smashed.

Except for one man armed with an AK-47, and a Honda full of tulip bulbs.

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: June 21, 2022, 03:02:37 pm »
I figured you could sparge noodles.

Put it in a Pyrex sphere with water and no remaining air space, superheat the sphere with ether, and the water can't boil because of the pressure, so it just migrates into the ramen.  It worked, too.  15 second ramen.

Then the Pyrex went bang at about 15 atmospheres of pressure, squashed my face shield up against my googles, causing me to swallow most of my left front tooth.  Also some mild flash burns & concert ears.

I call it a partial success.  It would have been a complete success if I knew where the ramen wound up.  Not in my yard, anyway.

I am reasonably sure that the chlorine in the water came unglued into O2, adding vapor, which could expand and you'd only need the Pyrex to have uneven pressure for a fraction of a second.

That is, frankly, entirely awesome.

Are you going to try again, maybe with a sturdier pressure vessel?

Is it possible that outgassing from the ramen is part of the problem?  I'm not sure if that term applies to non-vacuum environments, but I'd think the ramen might have some air dissolved or trapped in it, and of course the ramen itself has dozens of little nucleation points.

Apple Talk / Re: Suu demands to know what you are listening to!
« on: June 19, 2022, 11:14:30 pm »
Bloodywood - Gaddaar

It's Indian Folk Metal.

Apple Talk / Re: Introductions VIII: Some bad news for new folks
« on: June 19, 2022, 12:16:23 am »
helloooo lovelies

I did it. I finally did it. Canada has become just like everywhere else.


What the fuck did you do to the timeline?

I made a boo-boo.

Wait, that was you?

Propaganda Depository / Re: ESP in One Month practice
« on: June 19, 2022, 12:14:34 am »
17 @6
06 14 link soon 2:02A Hard2do On Jazz Am11 P p

Hi, Hirley!

Propaganda Depository / Re: ESP in One Month practice
« on: June 19, 2022, 12:14:07 am »
Mme Jean-Robert,

It is with a profound sense of regret, not to mention contempt and revulsion, with which I must write to say that a collaboration between us will be impossible.

Upon preliminary reading, the text is an incoherent, maundering morass of run-on sentences and unintelligible grammar, which would make even the most iron-jawed of highschool English teachers tear their hair and weep in shame and rage.  It is entirely beyond redemption.  It is execrable; the gosling who consumed a page and promptly converted it to goose-shit only improved it thereby, and I sincerely recommend you employ angry waterfowl to do your copy-editing in the future.

What fragments one can extract from this putrid heap of verbiage betray an utter lack of comprehension of even the most basic principles of natural philosophy, let alone quantum mechanics.  Had I attempted to employ "quantum entanglement" to perform ESP, as per your directions, I would surely have entangled my ass-hair in the rototiller--an experience which, having already endured once, I see no reason to repeat during this lifetime.

With eternal loathing,


Disclaimer:  I didn't actually receive or read a copy of the article, although I can't see why that should make any difference.

Propaganda Depository / Re: ESP in One Month practice
« on: June 10, 2022, 02:10:57 am »
Dear Joan Roberts,

Thank you for sending me a copy of your transcript, "Describing the Means and Attunement to ESP".  Unfortunately, it did not arrive intact.  It is currently cobra-chicken nesting season here--you may know them as "Canada Geese"--and the mail carrier had the ill fate of encountering a flock of them while delivering your missive.  I have been informed that his tongue has been successfully reattached, and, if the physiotherapy goes well, he should regain the use of his remaining limbs in time for the Christmas package season.

Regrettably, your document did not fare quite so well.  A gosling shredded and partly consumed one of the pages, and the remainder was coated in a mixture of mailman's blood, goose-droppings, and an unidentifiable substance with a heretofore unimagined colour, caustic odour, and indescribable texture.  I sent a sample of it to the Biology Department at the University, who became so excited that they immediately quarantined the entire campus.

Nevertheless, I believe enough of the transcript survived that I shall still be able to give it a fair review, once I get it back from the document reconstruction service.

I remain your humble servant.

Propaganda Depository / Re: ESP in One Month practice
« on: May 31, 2022, 02:05:42 am »
Thank you for your message, Mr. Roberts!

I am a well-known and respected influencer in the Discordian community, and I wish to help you bring your wisdom to the widest possible audience.

If you send me a free copy of your transcript, I will be happy to review it and give it the exposure which it deserves.  I am confident that I will be able to double or even triple your sales.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Billy:  "Are you having some kind of ethical crisis here?"

Tina:  "Yes, and I'm not sure..."

Me:  "Your salary will be <amount>.  Not bad for right out of college."

Tina:  "..."

You see, Tina, your salary isn't just compensation for the work you'll do, it's part of the service you provide; helping to extract money from <agency>.  In fact, it would be unethical not to take their money.

Literate Chaotic / Lemonade
« on: May 06, 2022, 05:12:37 pm »
You can make lemonade out of your lemons, but the acid remains.

Or Kill Me / Re: Buttons
« on: April 28, 2022, 02:28:19 pm »

Framed and formatted like hits different.  I almost don't recognize my own words.

Ship it.

Apple Talk / Re: A thought experiment
« on: April 27, 2022, 03:18:05 am »
Hiring new employees always has some element of risk; the guy with 20 years of experience could still be a dud.  But, that's not a useful hypothetical, since any new hire is a gamble, regardless.

If the black dude was the only resume you got, would you hire him?  Does his lack of experience increase risk significantly, or only slightly?  What about the personalities of the applicants; experience aside, is there any way to determine which one is more likely to have a safety-minded work ethic?

I don't think the race of the people on the floor should be a significant factor.  My monkey brain says "maybe the black dude will get along better with the floor employees, or feel more responsibility towards them"... but that's racist/tribalist bullshit, and my monkey brain needs to SHUT UP.

Less "human ethical", and more "corporate ethical" much extra is your inexperienced engineer likely to cost you in accidents/errors/training while he's coming up to speed, and will his lower initial salary make up for that?  (I'm guessing not, it's just another thing to think about).

Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« on: April 27, 2022, 02:43:33 am »
So the drones scrapped each other, as they were the highest concentration of metal in the immediate area.

That is so beautiful it almost brings a tear to my eye.

Or Kill Me / Buttons
« on: April 27, 2022, 02:42:52 am »
No one likes to think they can be manipulated.  Yet here I am; I have buttons, they can be pushed, and if you push them, everybody loses.  I can be acquaintances--maybe even friends--with someone for years, but if they push a button... we're done.

He said that companies would be within their rights to break people's fingers for copyright infringement.  It's not the worst thing I've ever heard of, but it hit a button.

I expressed dismay/disgust, drew the obvious parallel with the practice of cutting the hands off thieves, and he didn't back down.  He wasn't joking.

Now, I'm something of an armchair tough-guy, myself.  I believe in grand destruction.  I believe in disproportionate response.  Your dog poops on my lawn, I sprinkle birdseed on your car.  You slap my face, I punch you in the neck.

But breaking someone's fingers for copying a fucking video game isn't funny.  It's petty, barbaric, fascistic, corporate.  It's the kind of attitude that reminds me of my father, may he rot in hell.

And that's one of my buttons.

I was a member of a certain video game forum/discord server for years, now I'm not.  The clincher...some time after I soft-flounced, I got a DM telling me I should return, and resume my place.  So I naturally cut off all remaining avenues of communication, without so much as a good-bye.

My place is where I am, not where I've been.

Apple Talk / Re: OH NO
« on: April 20, 2022, 01:10:17 am »
Can someone please link to his Discordian Sermon on cameo?


We only got the first paragraph, but it was like the voice of an angel to my ears

If others want to buy the rest go for it

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