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Topics - Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy

#2
We used to be a community

We used to talk about how we felt.  We used to talk about everything.  We used to be able to.

We used to be diverse.  We used to have balance, yin and yang, order and disorder, light and dark, serious and humorous.  Magic and Mundane, Christian, pagan, heathen, Discordian, Erisian, Athiest, neopagan and people who defy description.  

We used to remember that a user name is attached to a person with a name, that pixels on the screen represent a person at a keyboard, we used to laugh and cry with each other, as well as bitching and moaning, kvetching and complaining.  

We used to have fun.  We used to be sillier, we used to be more serious.  It's not a contradiction, you need the silly for the serious and the serious for the silly.

Sometimes we all have to go where the yellow ball goes from here to there, and  the white ball follows or leads, as it waxes and wanes.  Where this mythical real world is.  Where there are jobs or not, family or not, homes, school, vacations, hobbies or not.  Where we speak to people, not with a keyboard, but with our lips, our eyes, the muscles of our face, our hands, the expressiveness of our voice, our hearts, our souls, our genitals, our minds.  

We used to be a group of people instead of a group of factions.  There was this mythical, mystical time I have heard about, where Eris ran freely through the forum, causing mischief without pain, chaos without catastrophy, when words were used to teach, not injure.  A time when people listened to their pineal gland, or at least some part of their brain.  There were heros.  There were villains.  There was also community.  There was a hippy trippy togetherness that was more than hippy or trippy.  People cared about each other.  Or, maybe this is just another myth.
#3
Or Kill Me / My Senator is not a complete idiot
November 01, 2005, 11:56:12 PM
The most interesting bit is the last paragraph.  This also goes to show it helps to contact the people you elect.  Well sometimes at least.  

QuoteDear Ms. <name deleted due to paranoia>:

Thank you for contacting me regarding the Real ID Act, which was passed by Congress as a part of the Emergency Supplemental Appropriations Act and signed into law by the President on May 11, 2005 (P.L.109-13). I appreciate hearing from you on this important issue.

The Real ID Act modifies existing regulations regarding the processing of asylum applications by placing the burden of proof on the applicant to prove at least one ?¢,Ǩ?ìcentral reason?¢,Ǩ¬ù that their persecution is due to their race, religion, nationality, political opinion, or social group. The Real ID Act also broadens the terrorism related grounds for inadmissibility or removal for asylum seekers. Another provision in this bill further restricts an individual?¢,Ǩ,Ñ¢s options for judicial review when seeking asylum by, among other things, limiting the ability of a federal court to delay an immigrant?¢,Ǩ,Ñ¢s deportation, even while an appeal is being reviewed by the court.

In addition to the modifications to the asylum process, the Real ID Act allows the Secretary of Homeland Security to waive environmental and other laws to expedite the construction of security fences and barriers along our national borders. P.L109-13 also sets minimum federal security standards for states to follow for drivers?¢,Ǩ,Ñ¢ licenses and personal identification cards to be accepted for federal purposes.

I have a number of concerns with some provisions of the Real ID Act, such as those that make it more difficult for individuals seeking asylum. In addition, this law enables the Secretary of Homeland Security to waive all laws, which includes labor, safety, environmental and all other laws, that might impede the expeditious construction of barriers and roads along the border. I am concerned with the costs that the new mandated drivers license regulations will impose on the states. I am also troubled that this controversial bill was included on a must pass piece of emergency legislation to fund the ongoing wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and did not go through any Senate Committee, did not have any hearings, was not debated on the Senate floor and that the Senate did not have the opportunity to amend it.

Thank you again for contacting me.

Sincerely,
Carl Levin
#4
Or Kill Me / Contest entry: Straight Edge...not hardly
October 29, 2005, 02:32:33 AM
Straight Edge...not hardly

(Turd, I thought you might appreciate this true-as-I-remember-it story more than a rant :twisted: )

I worked at a bar called Mickey's one summer.  It is long gone now.  The building, that summer, those size 7 jeans.  Anyway, there was the guy I was living with, went by the name of Uncle Drug.  On this particular night, it was my night off, we ended up at Mickey's with another couple.  Time has removed their names, I'll just call them the nurse and the moron.  Keep in mind I am not a needle freak, but the other 3 are.  It's not part of this story, but it explains why I am calling the nurse's husband a moron.  The nurse almost lost her job and resorted to shooting up between her toes to hide the tracks.  The moron lost his business a little at a time.  He sold shares to his partner for money for drugs.  Uncle Drug was a Marine who had been to 'Nam, this will come into the story later.  

It was a busy night, even though it wasn't Friday.  I was talking with the moron at the bar getting another round.  Uncle Drug was talking with the nurse across the room.  The moron and I came to the conclusion that men that have hooked up by closing time never start bar fights, it is the guys who are going home alone that start the fights.  Uncle Drug and the nurse were walking towards the other room when some idiot tried to grab her to hit on her. Uncle Drug brushed him aside.  That's about the time I see a beer bottle hit Uncle Drug in the back of the head.  He wasn't even phased, he just turned around as if someone had tapped him on the shoulder.  I didn't realise until later that he had actually been hit on the back of the head or that the bottle broke.  I didn't realise until later that his training kicked in and he stuck his thumb in the guy's eye.

Well, from there things went fast, with tables and chairs flying and everyone ending up outside.  It was just the 2 guys rolling around on the ground, punching each other now and then.  This was one of those times I wished the guy with the nose was there.  The guy who was always in a suit.  Him and that really big guy that was always with him.  Funny, later that summer when everyone seemed to be getting busted for drug offenses, he stopped wearing a suit and I usually saw him in paint splattered overalls.  I never learned what happened to the big guy, I think he went back to Florida.  

Uncle Drug was on the bottom for most of the time, but ended up with just a few scratches from rolling around on the gravel and a few cuts on the back of his head from the broken glass.  The next day, he couldn't remember much of what happened after the bottle broke on his head.  When he went to the bar people were surprised to see him in such good shape, he didn't look like he had been in a fight.  The other guy had been in earlier and well, for one thing his eye was swollen shut.  That's when Uncle Drug realised he must have jammed his thumb in it out of reflex, The other thing is, the other guy generally looked like he had been beat up.  

The moral of the story is, if you hook up before closing time, go home and get laid.  Those unlucky fuckers are going to be out to get you.
#5
Or Kill Me / You have GOT to be kidding me
October 08, 2005, 01:12:05 AM
I just saw an ad for a new Elmo toy.  Furry red monster from Sesame Street, for those of you that don't have kids.  He sings a song, not too unusual, but it is one of the songs from Animal House.  The one from Otis Day and the Knights.  Yes, Elmo sings Shout  :shock:  It was so horrible, it was funny :lol:
#6
Or Kill Me / Take this job...please...part 1
September 23, 2005, 04:59:29 PM
This is an actual transcript of messages relating to the place I used to work.  This all got started because a customer tried to get in touch with me using Yahoo IM.  I told him my job was outsourced, which is true, I never said overseas.

I skipped 2 posts that were irrelevant.  I also skipped several posts that dealt with timeliness of downloads, it seems they were having problems with one of their processes the same week this all came out.
Quote
customer M

Date: Tue Aug 16, 2005  1:28 pm

I believe Eldora no longer works at company-deleted. I heard that they
shipped the technical stuff overseas. Is that true?


Staff H

Date: Tue Aug 16, 2005  1:45 pm

Eldora is no longer with the company but it is ABSOLUTELY untrue that tech
support has been shipped overseas. name-deleted still works in the Technical Support
Department. They are now simply located in another office, however, are
still located in Davison, Michigan. They are simply across town from the
Sales office.


customer R

Date: Tue Aug 16, 2005  11:45 pm

...did Eldora go overseas? who's name-deleted? are they related? why are they
located in another office across town?


staff H

Date: Wed Aug 17, 2005  9:30 am

No, Eldora did not go overseas, she simply no longer works for company-deleted.
name-deleted works for Tech Support and has for years. No, name-deleted and Eldora are not
related. Finally, our lease was up on our previous building. Therefore, the
Billing Department was moved into a smaller space while the Technicians were
upgraded to a larger space. I'm not sure why any of this is of relevance.


customer C

Date: Wed Aug 17, 2005  9:53 am

Regarding why it is relevant.
I can't really speak for others, but I think that there are two reasons why
it is relevant:

First, people (including me) depend on company-deleted. I (and expect many
others) know that smaller companies come and go. Change makes us nervous.
We need confirmation that company-deleted will continue to provide the same
level of products and services as before.

Second, in this small community, relationships develop between customers and
vendors. When the relationships are severed, it's uncomfortable.


customer L(this was a customer who is a pain in the ass and I didn't get along with, hehe)

Date: Wed Aug 17, 2005  12:16 pm

I agree with this email from <name deleted>.

If she was let go, you folks have made a big mistake. She was the best tech
support person you had.


customer P

Date: Wed Aug 17, 2005  12:51 pm

staff H wrote:

 "I'm not sure why any of this is of relevance."

Simply because we liked Eldora and we will miss her .. Pierre


customer B

Date: Wed Aug 17, 2005  1:47 pm

Thank you, Pierre. Put me in your corner. I'm sure most will wish
Eldora the best wherever she goes or whatever she does and feel
fortunate we had as much dedicated attention from her as we did... It's
unfortunate a few haven't come to grips with the generally accepted fact
our world is geocentric, not egocentric.


customer P

Date: Wed Aug 17, 2005  4:03 pm

She also contributed a phenomenal amount of help and assistance to the list
over the **years**.

I am not sure if the lull on the list is due to her leaving the company or
not.


customer M

Date: Wed Aug 17, 2005  7:50 pm
I heard from a reliable source that her position was
'offshored'.


customer L

Date: Wed Aug 17, 2005  8:30 pm

If her position was offshored, that was a bigger mistake. I have difficulty
dealing with offshore tech support. The reason is that these offshore types
are not familiar with English. They are really speaking their native
language using English words. Their pronunciation is usually very poor.

A manager should not just look a a persons salary, they should also look a
the persons productivity. I have seen a number of cases where people have
been laid off because they were "too expensive". Eventually they were
replaced by 2 or 3 people at a higher total cost then the "expensive"
person.


customer M

Date: Wed Aug 17, 2005  8:36 pm

I was laid off 2 years ago and am yet to find a job. I am
a technical type...over 50..you know. They expect you to bust
ass when you are younger..and 'reward' you with increased benefits
as you mature through there system..then when times get tough..they
lay you off because you are more expensive and at the end of the
year they give a % of all the layoffees salary to the CEO prick as a
bonus...and his bonus along is several times more than you've been
paid cumulatively in the past 20 years!!
#7
Or Kill Me / North Korea Agrees to End Nuclear Programs
September 19, 2005, 01:58:43 PM
http://www.comcast.net/news/index.jsp?cat=GENERAL&fn=/2005/09/19/224306.html

Soooo, did our invasion of Iraq convince the Koreans to play nice?  Or did we not invade because they admited they had WMD?  Or are the Koreans lucky enough to have skin that is not quite dark enough for us to want to invade their country?  Or is it because there isn't so much oil in Korea?
#8
Literate Chaotic / Ode to The Mgt
September 19, 2005, 06:56:28 AM
The Mgt, she lurks about
she's the one in charge, no doubt
Mysterious, she hardly posts
as if she were one of the ghosts
She was here and now she's there
like Santa Claus, she's everywhere
She shows up, the rats they scatter
trolls, they won't get any fatter
The place is quiet as a mouse
a padded cell for the whole house
When she's gone, they all come back
have a little grilled troll snack
I've heard the inmates run the place
Until again she shows her face

ps i have had an aggravting day which brings out my creative side, for good or ill :wink:
#9
Or Kill Me / Another reason to hate Rummy
July 29, 2005, 05:51:51 PM
I get headaches, that's life.  At certain times of my life they have been worse than others.  About 3 years ago they started to get worse again.  I started taking some meds to make them managable.  Also shortly after the headaches began, about 6 months, I was diagnosed as diabetic, so even though I hate it, I switched from regular pop to diet. Lately even with the meds they have been unbearable.  So, I decided to stop drinking pop with nutrasweet and the headaches have lessened considerably.  Then I find this:

QuoteDonald Rumsfeld, In June 1977, he became Chief Executive Officer of G. D. Searle & Co., a worldwide pharmaceutical company, where he served until 1985. The turnaround there earned him awards as the Outstanding Chief Executive Officer in the Pharmaceutical Industry in 1980 and 1981

He along with Robert Shapiro are solely responsible for using their political muscle and graft to buy off the FDA and get NutraSweet approved and are responsible for the death and disease caused.

http://aspartamekills.com/
#10
Literate Chaotic / Hey Zorga
July 10, 2005, 05:30:09 AM
A romantic story

We lived in the same building, same floor, same wing, just 5 doors down.  The mailman came about the time I got home from work.  He was waiting for a letter.  Nice ass, I had to admit that. I saw him walking down the street a couple of times.  Red hair, that was always hard to resist.  Our first date was the Michigan Ren Fest.  Our second date was the county fair.  For our third date, we went up north.  For those of you unfamiliar with the term, in Michigan, the further north you go, the farther you get from civilization.  The more woods, the more lakes, in general anyway, and in Michigan, if you say you are going Up North, every knows you mean you are getting away from it all, whatever it all may be.  

We were headed to the Big Mac, not the sandwich, the bridge.  We would go over the bridge and turn right and follow the lake for about 20 minutes.  It was a 2 room cabin with no running water, we had to pump the water with a hand pump and heat it on the stove.  I am not going to tell you what happened the first night, this isn't porn, it's romance :wink:

He went outside to pee when he woke up.  When he came back in, I noticed he had on nothing but his boots, and he had a daisy in his hand.

We walked in the woods and washed each others' hair in the sink.  We took a trip to Mackinac Island, bought the best fudge in the world, walked all around the island, there are no cars, just horses and planes, don't ask.  We also fell in love.

That will be 13 years next month.  And I still love him.  And I look at our son in wonder.
#11
People on the cover of Sargeant Peppers

http://www.iamthebeatles.com/article1318.html

2.

8.

A lot of them surprised me, but I am torn between the two above.  There were a lot of interesting people, and non people, on that cover, hehehe :twisted:
#12
A list of all the songs

http://www.iamthebeatles.com/article1411.html

Down the side of this page is a list of the albums.  If you click the album you get info on it and the lyrics to the songs

http://www.iamthebeatles.com/
#13
I found our home!!!!!1111!!!!!

And a definition of hippy :shock:

Click here for full quote

QuoteSo being a hippie is not a matter of dress, behavior, economic status, or social milieu. It is a philosophical approach to life that emphasizes freedom, peace, love and a respect for others and the earth. The way of the hippie never died. There have always been hippies from the first time society laid down rules, to Jesus, to Henry David Thoreau, to John Lennon, to you and me. I believe there,Äôs a little hippy in all of us. It,Äôs just been repressed by our socialization process. We need to find it and cultivate our hippie within. Only then can we reach our true potential.

Peace and Love, Skip

I think this makes a lot of us hippies, including a lot of those who keep trying to use that word as an insult.
#14
Literate Chaotic / Which one?
June 16, 2005, 05:03:21 AM
Someone got me looking at new avatars.  Someone else got me thinking about the Stephen King novel, Tommyknockers.  Between the two, I got distracted making some new avatars for myself.


Late last night and the night before
Tommyknockers, Tommyknockers knocking at the door
I want to go out, don't know if I can
'Cause I'm so afraid of the Tommyknocker Man






#15
Literate Chaotic / Just for fun...
June 10, 2005, 06:09:23 AM
http://www.elessacar.com/wiccan_name_creator.php

Get  new Wiccan name, hehehe :twisted:

Holy-Mother Sheba Sea - Drama

Lord Sky Winking - Sister

Golden Song - Biter

Brother Ladybug Rambling - Rosemary(I played Rosemary in a play once :shock: )

And the winner is:

Chao Sapphire - Daughter

And here's on for Rog:

Reverend Stump Bush - Bitch

hhmmm...maybe not :?
#16
Literate Chaotic / ATTN: Synaptyx - Meditation
May 14, 2005, 09:37:42 PM
You find yourself on top of a grassy hill, surrounded by green trees.  You can feel the cool grass under your bare feet.  You look up at a clear blue sky.  You look around and see a grassy path.  At your feet is a small pack.  You pick up the pack and look down the path, but cannot see the end, only a bend.  As you walk down the path, you walk into cool shade.  You look at the trees and notice all the subtle shades of green.  Each tree is different.  Even the leaves on a single tree are each unique.  Down the path there is a switchback, but you still cannot see the end.  As you get to the end of the next bend you can see a sandy patch.  

You walk from the cool grass to the warm sand.  It is very warm, but not hot enough to burn.  The sun is bright so you decide to look into the pack.  You find some sunglasses and a hat and put them on.  You walk across the warm sand and feel the heat relax your feet.  You feel the relaxing sensation move up your legs,Ķinto your torso,Ķinto your arms,Ķup your neck and through your whole body.  

As you look around you, you see a lake.  Walking towards the lake, you feel the warm dry sand under your feet, making your feet feel better than they have since you can remember.  Looking out at the lake, you see that the bright yellow sun is low in the late afternoon sky.  As you get closer to the edge, you walk along the sand that has been hit by some waves earlier in the day.  It is still wet, but it is warm from the sun.  You can feel the packed sand give way as you step on it.  Then you walk along one step closer to the water.  This sand is cooler and wetter.  It squishes as you walk on it.  Finally you take a few steps in the water and it is surprisingly cold.  It is so cold you rush back to the warm dry sand.  

At about the middle of the shore, you see a very comfortable looking orange beach chair and a red cooler.  You walk towards them and plop down to relax.  As you look out across the water, you are glad to have the sunglasses.  You see the setting sun reflecting off the water.  It looks like someone sprinkled the lake with silver and gold glitter.  The sky above the water is various shades of purple and pink and red.  You remember the sailor,Äôs poem

   Red sky at night,
   Sailors,Äô delight
   Red sky in morning
   Sailors,Äô Warning

You know it will be a good night for sailors and a good night for you.
#17
Or Kill Me / Everything old is new again.
May 13, 2005, 07:16:02 PM
Something Turd said got me thinking about a song I was thinking about yesterday.  So I googled the lyrics of this song that runs through my head...
QuoteI-Feel-Like-I'm-Fixin'-To-Die-Rag(Take 1 - 09 65)

Well, come on all of you, big strong men,
Uncle Sam needs your help again.
Yeah, he's got himself in a terrible jam
Way down yonder in Vietnam
So put down your books and pick up a gun,
Gonna have a whole lotta fun.

And it's one, two, three,
What are we fighting for ?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Next stop is Vietnam;
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why,
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.

Yeah, come on Wall Street, don't be slow,
Why man, this is war au-go-go
There's plenty good money to be made
By supplying the Army with the tools of its trade,
Just hope and pray that if they drop the bomb,
They drop it on the Viet Cong.

And it's one, two, three,
What are we fighting for ?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Next stop is Vietnam.
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.

Well, come on generals, let's move fast;
Your big chance has come at last.
Now you can go out and get those reds
'Cause the only good commie is the one that's dead
And you know that peace can only be won
When we've blown 'em all to kingdom come.

And it's one, two, three,
What are we fighting for ?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Next stop is Vietnam;
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.

Come on mothers throughout the land,
Pack your boys off to Vietnam.
Come on fathers, and don't hesitate
To send your sons off before it's too late.
You can be the first ones in your block
To have your boy come home in a box.

And it's one, two, three
What are we fighting for ?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Next stop is Vietnam.
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why,
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.

We had a couple of funerals in my county last week, or the week before.   Every governmental fuckup, every boy that comes home in a casket, every report on the news, reminds me this is another Vietnam, only we have even less reason for begin there.  

Here is a photo copy of Joe'sFBI file.  His home page.  His jukebox so you can hear him sing this.  Stupid RealOne player, though :roll:
#18
Or Kill Me / Rant #1 Emotions and stuff
May 08, 2005, 10:20:37 AM
Emotions are not good or bad, even though many people try to put those labels on them.  Emotions just are.  So I am going to rant for a bit about emotions.  We babble on a lot about philosophy around here and that is good.  But, we all have to deal with emotional stuff too.  If you think you don't, then you need to learn about the terrible secrets of space.  

It is our actions we need to judge, not our emotions.  How we treat other people, how we treat ourselves.  Not to find excuses, but just to admit we did something wrong, understand the reasons behind it, try not to do it again and get on with our lives.  To understand that not everyone plays by our rules, we each of us, have our own internal set of rules to go by.  These rules are not carved in stone.  When we find our own rules do not work for us, we can change them.  The people around us will freak out, more than likely, but really, anyone that hangs out with people like us should be expecting the rules to change in the middle of the game, come on.  

Some people do not deserve forgiveness, or at least we should go by the law, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.  The words I love you come from their mouths.  The words I hate you come from their fists.  When in doubt, a person's actions tell the truth better than their words.  But, if they seem to be doing too many good things, and too much flowery speech flows from their lips, beware, it may be the trickster in disguise.  I have seen more people fall for the trickster, it is really surprisingly sad.  If it seems to good to be true, it probably is.

I sat with a friend of mine after her divorce going through stuff.  The day of her divorce her ex had given her a strange letter that did not make a lot of sense, but seemed to be designed to invoke pity, or confusion.  It did a good job with the confusion.  The pity, not so much.  Well, we sat there trying to figure out which pictures could be salvaged by cutting her ex out, which ones to keep and which ones to throw out.  She came across an old letter he had written when they first started dating.  She read it and wondered aloud what had happened.  I asked to read the letter.  Then I tried to explain that he had always been a manipulative prick, he was just a bit nicer about it in the beginning, so she hadn't noticed.  Then she read the letter again.  Then she began to understand.  

Terrible things will happen to you in your life.  That's just the way it is.  Can't be helped apparently.  Not your fault.  Don't let it get you down.  The reason people often think it is only them is that we don't tend to talk about the really horrible stuff.  Some of the most horrible stuff that can happen to a person leaves them feeling shame and it's not fair to them, really.  That is why so many victims of things have started speaking of themselves as survivors.  Incest survivors.  Cancer survivors.  It gives them their power back a bit.  I am not sure if it helps in the long run, but it helps them a bit and when really horrible things happen to a person they need all the help they can get.  

You will do stupid things in your lifetime.  The longer your life, the more opportunites you will be handed to prove this true.  Try to learn from your mistakes and muddle through.  Again, no one likes to talk about the stupidest things they've done.  The lying and cheating, the naked drunken dancing.  Well, people around here would talk about naked drunken dancing, but anywhere else, you're going to get weird looks.  And I don't mean the kind of weird looks you usually get either, I mean the should we call the nice young men in their clean white coats look.  

Forgiveness is important.  Not to let people off the hook, not to let them back in your life, but to get them out of your head.  An understanding and letting go.  And I don't mean the mamby pamby fuzzy wuzzy feeling kind of forgivenss.  Whatever kind of revenge you feel equals things out, then forgive.  Sometimes you can just let go.  And sometimes people fuck with you so bad you just need to fuck with them back.  But doing nothing should not be a long term option.  Cutting people out of your life forever is often a very good option.  Then they can't do anything else that you have to forgive them for and your life is easier.  There isn't any one way to do this.  The worse someone has treated you, the longer it will take.  Forgiveness is always for the forgiver, not the forgiven.  I forgive you because being angry is too tiring, not always because you deserve it.  

For these things are true:

1  If you cannot love yourself, how can you love anyone else.  

2  If you cannot forgive yourself, how can you forgive anyone else.

3  If you do not trust yourself, how can you trust anyone else.

4  If you have no faith in yourself, how can you have faith in anything outside yourself.

5  This is the fifth thing.
#19
Or Kill Me / True Discordians do not check in....
April 26, 2005, 07:45:40 PM
...and if you forgot and checked in on the other thread, all is forgiven.

So sayeth Exldora

Anyway, we are diverse. We have debated this to the point of boredom.  Knock it off, GitMo, you're blowing your cover.

#20
Or Kill Me / My son is Magical Poopyhead
April 11, 2005, 05:43:09 AM
Short for

Magical Poopyhead the Evil Scientist

and I am

The Good Scientist Magical Poopyhead

We were doing the Bubble Banishing ritual.  This can be used to banish the grey, the ghey, or to induce silliness.  The only ingreident needed is bubble stuff.  If you don't have any you can water down any sudsing stuff you have, dishwashing liquid, shampoo, etc.  The only tool is the wand thingy that comes in the bubbles.  Children are optional, but their giggles help to insure the ritual will succeed.  We made many bubbles and annoited each other with the sacred buuble stuff and he came up with these magical names for us.  And lo the TV was not on. :twisted:
#21
Literate Chaotic / Dirty Laundry
April 01, 2005, 10:32:12 PM
Surprisingly, I did not have to change that many words.  I changed some stuff just to be silly.  Keep in mind, I think this song came out in 1982, but I'm not sure :?

Dirty Laundry

With apologies to Don Henley
QuoteI make my living off of cable news
Just give me info-trash that I can use
People love it when you lose,
They love dirty laundry

Well, I coulda been a model, but I wound up here
I just have to look good, I don,Äôt have to be clear
Come and fuck me in my ear
Give us dirty laundry

Kick ,Äôem when they,Äôre up
Kick ,Äôem when they,Äôre down
Kick ,Äôem when they,Äôre up
Kick ,Äôem when they,Äôre down
Kick ,Äôem when they,Äôre up
Kick ,Äôem when they,Äôre down
Kick ,Äôem when they,Äôre up
Kick ,Äôem all around

We got the bubble-headed-bleach-blonde who
Comes on at five
She can tell you ,Äôbout Terry Shiavo with a gleam
In her eye
It,Äôs interesting when people die-
Give us dirty laundry

Can we film the operation?
Is the pope dead yet?
You know, the boys in the backroom got a
Running bet
Get the cardinals on the set!
We need dirty laundry

You don,Äôt really need to find out what,Äôs going on
You don,Äôt really want to know just how far it,Äôs gone
Just leave well enough alone
Eat your dirty laundry

Kick ,Äôem when they,Äôre up
Kick ,Äôem when they,Äôre down
Kick ,Äôem when they,Äôre up
Kick ,Äôem when they,Äôre down

Kick ,Äôem when they,Äôre up
Kick ,Äôem when they,Äôre down
Kick ,Äôem when they,Äôre stiff
Kick ,Äôem all around

Dirty little secrets
Dirty little lies
We got our dirty little fingers in Michael Jackson's pie
We love to cut you down to size
We love dirty laundry

We can do the innuendo
We can dance and sing
When it,Äôs said and done we haven,Äôt told you a thing
We all know that crap is king
Give us dirty laundry!
#22
Literate Chaotic / Crappy poetry warning
March 21, 2005, 04:33:35 AM
Happy Vernal Equinox
The birds begin to sing
The days and nights are even
And the green begins to SPRING

Hey, I warned you.  Happy first day of spring every body.
#23
Or Kill Me / WTF are you?
March 18, 2005, 11:45:24 PM
The Beatniks were before the Hippies.  I am not sure of the distinction.  Except the Beatniks were a smaller group, the hippies attracted a lot of people who eventually became squares.  We seem to throw the word 'hippie' around here without really thinking about it.  I don't want to talk about what any website or book has to say, I want to talk about what it means to us.  Some of us our old enough to remember the last time macrame was popular.  For some of us it never went out of style.  

My husband and I wear our hair long, does that make us hippies?  He volunteered for the Navy in 1975, never realising where that would take him.  Not knowing when he was done serving his country people would call him a baby killer and spit on him.  He gets all snotty if someone calls him a hippie, his standard answer is that he is not a hippie, he works and bathes.   :roll:  

Those are his issues.  What are ours.  We, the people who post on this forum, seem to be people who do not fit neatly into society's categories of being this or that.  Are we hippies?  Beats?  We all seem to be counter culture to some extent.  Are we going to fail as our predecessors did?  By bickering amongst ourselves?  By getting derailed by stupid pranks?  Sticking apart has its limits.  

If we must label each other, let's come up with something for ourselves.  Many other groups before us have been labeled by others, we could come up with our own.  Short of that, let's quit using labels that are not derogatory in a derogatory manner.
#24
Or Kill Me / Presidents say stupid things
March 17, 2005, 05:02:16 PM
I am tired of bickering amongst ourselves.  Let's make fun of some presidents instead  :twisted:

"A fool and his money are soon elected." -- Will Rogers.

"It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you." -- Will Rogers.

"Revolution is a trivial shift in the emphasis of suffering." -- Tom Stoppard.

America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual intervention of civilization. -- George Clemenceau

America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole. -- Bobcat Goldthwait

The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his. -- General George Patton


Click here for more quotes!
#25
I was amazed to see the ravens.  They were eating the crumbs off the ground like nothing had happened.  The crumbs from the donuts were their favorite.  The ravens were cravens, that is why I did not expect to see them at the campground.  There wasn't a waif among them, yet each in their own way was a waif.  The weather had turned cold, as I knew it could.  Many people would not expect temperatures in the 40's in July in Michigan, but I did.  Expect probably is not fair, but I knew it was a possibility.  I pulled the parka up around my ears.  

The day before was uneventful.  It was warm, not like a person would expect for July, but not as bad as the night would be.  I expected the snakes to be in a coil, but found them moving out to the rocks.  Snake watching was a fad now, like bird watching.  You did not have to worry about their ire, they were not poisonous and did not bite.  We had plans for sext, with the sun high in the sky.  We all got in the truck, not a jo in sight, and took off for the pumpkin patch.  There was a corn maze, we walked through, and it mazed around the field and we had some fun.  Then we had some pumpkin pie, some moron cut it in sexto whatevers.  Who in the world cuts a pie in 16 pieces?  So we each had 3 or 4 slices.  

That night the cold wind came off the bay.  The campfire kept us warm.  We had to use bast for kindling.  We cooked some food, using olive oil, we got olein.  For once we had char broiled food instead of charcoal for food.  Those crazy gals from UT were there.  They had pinas and managed to make pina coladas.  They brought a lei for each of us.  They were all related, one called another ma, there was another that called a different one sist, or sis.  One of them kept calling everyone Dude, even the other girls.  We had fudge, but one of them kept calling it fudges.  And this one was talking about her ex and another one was talking about her ex, so much so that I almost felt bad for the guys, almost.  We all talked about the joys of meditation, saying om and om and looking for our Qi.  

After dinner a guy came by, said his name was el em en no.  He was tlking about fiscal years, but he kept calling it FY.   It looked like he might end up being a goon, but being all dressed in beige, it was not much of a worry.  He hemmed and hawed.  He was so nervous, it was giving him a tic.  Then we helped him find his id and took him down the river Lethe.  We helped each other find our Ba.  We all talked about our degrees, someone had a BAS, whatever that is.  Then someone started singing scales, do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti, do.  I had to reach behind el em en no for the quire of paper I brought. He thought I wanted sex, but he was wrong.  That treasure trove would have to wait for another night.  When we started to talk about working as a sexton, he got scared.  He did not want to be on this terra, or any of the terras that might include any of us.  

Ta for now.

Tune in later for the rest of the story.
#26
Literate Chaotic / Poem for Veterans
March 03, 2005, 07:11:08 PM
This should have been posted on Veteran's day, but I wasn't here.  I will try to bump it at the end of April.  btw, it is a song in my head :wink:


Not at liberty to say

Honey what happened in Cambodia
Not at liberty to say
But that war was over a long time ago
It's still classified to this day

Honey I watched a show on cable
It was about the Fall of Saigon
Did you land on the roof of the CIA safe house
Or on the Embassy lawn

It was his first look of surprize
Then he got a frown between his eyes
I'd just learned more from a 2 hour show
Than from years standing by his side

Not at liberty to say
Not at liberty to say
That's classified information
Not at liberty to say


There's one thing he can tell me
Helicopters glide like rocks
That thing on the top is a rotary wing
and when it stops, the copter drops


He learned of this first hand
In a very foreign land
They shot him in the knee
But it gave him a nose bleed

Well the enemy killed all the passengers
And I know it sounds selfish of me
But I'm just real glad the guys sat on their helmets
And he only got shot in the knee

Not at liberty to say
Not at liberty to say
That's classified information
Not at liberty to say

Don't tell his mom I wrote this song
She doesn't think he was in 'Nam
I don't know where she thinks he was
But it would be a sweeter song

I'm not at liberty to say
He's not at liberty to say
That's classified information
We're not at liberty to say
#27
Or Kill Me / Why I am here /\
February 27, 2005, 02:49:56 AM
How did I end up here?

I know this was started somewhere else by someone else and if I could find it, I would bump it, but my eyes are tired from whatever bug I picked up.  Since we have been debating to death, or at least to several people's great annoyance, what it means to be whatever we are, I shall start at the beginning.

I am adopted.  That may seem like too much of 'starting at the beginning', but it helps to explain some things.  My father comes from German lineage, my mother from Czechoslovakian.  My birth parents were Irish, Scottish, French Canadian, Indian(Native American), German and Dutch.  So although no one would go, OMG, that girl is adopted, I don't really look like any of my family.  I may have felt out of place anyway, but we shall never know.  I never felt like anyone understood me growing up.  I later learned my birth mother was 13 when I was born, so I am sure I would not have been better off if I had not been adopted, so this is a resentment that is pretty much gone.

We didn't go to church much, Easter, summer bible school, that kind of stuff.  Methodist, I think.  Then my parents divorced and got remarried, within a week of each other.  My step father was a church goer, Church of Christ or some such.  We went to church most Sundays for a long time.  I lived with my dad when I was in Junior High, I got involved with the church there, Methodist again, I think.  Mostly I liked the youth group.  The leaders were a young married couple.  They spoke to us plainly about the stuff in the bible.  They told us about the 'judge not, lest yea be judged' and the 'let your yeas be yeas and your nays be nays' those are two lessons I keep with me.  Plus, they were smart enough to have bible study on Sunday and fun stuff on Wednesday.  If you didn't show up for bible study, you didn't get fun night.  

For the next ten or fifteens years I pretty much went into a downhill spiral.  There was the math club, drama, band in high school, those were some of the high points.  I shall skip the low points.  If anyone thinks they need to talk about a substance abuse problem, PM me and I would be glad to chat with you.  Then I started going to AA and some other anonymous meeting type things.  Then I went to college.  I explored a lot of religious and spiritual ideas.  I talked to people, I learned stuff in classes, I read books.  I found that a lot of the pagan religions annoyed me in the same way that Christianity did, lots of ritual.  

I was talking with someone from here the other day, and I think the first time I was on the internet was 1993 and the first time I read the PD was 1997.  I didn't go to Eris, she came to me.  There wasn't a day when I said, "Wow I don't think there is nearly enough chaos in my life, I think I'll pray to some crazy goddess that represents chaos and discord, yea that's what I want!"  I was discouraged from the crap I saw in other "organised" religions.  And the less than organised ones as well.  The kinds of people who want to shoot an abortion doctor who terminates a pregnancy in the 13th week, but won't give any sympathy to a women has a spontaneous miscarriage during the same gestational time frame.  

I decided over time that Eris makes more sense.  Most religions have some sort of godhead thingy that says, "humans screwed up and that is why I do these stupid things to you, to pay you back for screwing up."  With Eris, you just know there is going to be chaos, nobody's fault, that's just life, which makes more sense.  Also, I have a mean sarcastic sense of humor, got that from my dad.  I also have the inate ability to pin down what is going on with people.  I don't do it on purpose, in fact I find myself biting my tongue so as to not hurt people's feelings.  Depending on who it is and how badly they have pissed me off.  I'm a little bit of a prankster but, I have learned that revenge is a dish best served cold.  You can end up with a better opportunity and the poor sap is not expecting it as much.  

So I ended up here because:

1  I don't like people to tell me what to do.
2  I don't like religions with rigid rules, or any rules, really.
3  I like the internet.
4  I like to converse with intelligient people, intellectual people, and interesting people.
5  I like to debate.
6  I like cookies and pie and lots of other kinds of fun.
7  I like the mathematical properties of Chaos.
8  I like the Principia Discordia , the book itself.  I think it is a great mixture of stupidity, hilarity, insight and pranksterisms.