Messages

Fungus

Saline

I see a connection!

An "s" at the end of the word shouldn't count. Because I say so.
Now, getting on with it...


Scooter

[Warning:]

Warning: This post contains early morning ideas. Ignore if necessary.

Perhaps we should account for the very thing we're trying to convince people to understand in their real lives: unpredictability. N00b behavior is often typical, but if/when they become regulars their real personality becomes more evident. We have to consider that beneath some n00b exteriors there are individuals who will react differently to how we treat them, and we can't know ahead of time what those reactions will be.

Therefore, I propose we triangulate our efforts, so to speak. The "N00b Conversion Chamber" we seem to be gravitating towards should not be a single bottleneck that every newcomer gets forced through. People will instinctively spend more time in the forums that they find entertaining and worthwhile, so let's give them a couple options.

Here are two examples of possible venues for n00bs, just to get ideas moving:

Fnord Central: No, we won't actually have a forum section called "Fnord Central," that would be retarded. But it's a place for dada-lovers and absurdists to goof around and get their fix of Discordia-flavored and Miscellaneous-flavored nonsense and weirdness. Plenty of us like a little dada now and then, so this is where we lasso 'em in and show them that not everything has to have a fnord in it to be funny or cool.

Tinfoil Hat Supply: This would be where we use the image of "The Man" to our advantage. Conspiracy theories, politics in general, and examples of censored news stories are all things that loads of people will gobble up. The Black Iron Prison is another example of what goes here; essentially this is where the seemingly "darker" side of Discordia gets put on display.

In theory, newcomers will get comfortable wherever they darn well feel like it, and with time they will spread out into other regions of the boards once they start to realize that there is more to Discordianism than what they once thought. For example, I came to PD.com believing that trolling was what degenerate asshats did for fun; later on I was a sideliner at the Free Thinker's Forum raid, and I realized that it didn't matter if trolling was for degenerate asshats or not, because it was hilarious.

excuse me. i think you meant to say,

Padre Pederastia----Tom Cruise
Joe Malik---- Tom Cruise
Simon Moon---- Tom Cruise
Markoff Chaney---Tom Cruise
Hagbard Celine---Tom Cruise
Squirrel in Beginning and End---Tom Cruise
Howard----Tom Cruise
AMA---Tom Cruise
Saul Goodman---Tom Cruise
Barney Muldoon----Tom Cruise

Are we looking for ways to maximize Tom Cruise's ability to make us sick of him?

I don't remember exactly what led me to it, but I read the PD first (this HTML version) and was entranced. After that came the Apocrypha Discordia, and I was lucky enough to spot a copy of Illuminatus! in a bookstore this past summer.

Before we post for recruits, though we should have something here for n00bs to see... Maybe a special forum on the main page for "ELF" or whatever plundered mythos will be useful? If they just show up to a bunch of hack Discordians yapping, they may slink away again, or get distracted with the everyday of PD.com...

The everyday of PD.com isn't so bad...

Something for n00bs to see is a good idea though: not a prepackaged "read this shit first" (because loads of them will skip it), but someplace where the transition from "LOL23FNORD" to "You Are In Prison" is easily perceived. If we make something that seems like a legitimate ELF, that should draw attention and create an illusion of authority that can later be shattered for educational purposes.

*whimper*
Alright, take them! Take them and just leave me here in my corner...

If the Pinealism is genuinely funny, then there's nothing wrong with it. Anything that makes people laugh, only to realize that there are people out there who want them to stop laughing at that sort of thing, is fair game.

So we need a Shits 'n' Giggles companion to the BIP. Will there be lots of stupids mucking about? Yes, but please, suffer the little children. At least a few of them won't get eaten and will survive to adulthood. If I had come straight here and had not had my fun lolling about with the fnords, Sacred Chaos, etc, I would have been all like "What is this crap?" and left.

I had lamb for dinner last night.

Jesus, everyone just go put some lard on someone's doorstep.

I feel happier already! Thanks, Nigel!

Fuck. Just... fuck.



You STOLE five minutes of my goddamn LIFE, Roger!

*raises hand* Oh, I know this one! Pick me!

 

Epic win there, Cram. Recruitment efforts are now N00bgasm.

Why should you give a flying fuck what this board eats up? Does the fact that Discordianism has actually evolved a bit in the 40+ years since it was crapped out of some hippies' brains make you want to cry and castrate yourself in mourning? Good riddance; we don't need your crybaby genes in OUR pool, thank you very much.

Our word is not God's, not any more than the Bible or the Principia Discordia is. Think for yourself, for all our sakes.