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Messages - Q. G. Pennyworth

#46
#47
Or Kill Me / The Year Of Our Lady
May 30, 2023, 01:14:25 AM
Yes, you can be deadly serious, but can you be deadly SILLY?
You can wear your pronouns and your politics and you can tell the difference between the two, but can you wear the clothes you actually want? The lipstick that doesn't suit you? Can you shave half your face and leave the other half wild? Can you scrawl on your arm in sharpie just for the look of it? Do you even own a tutu?
Knowing how to fit in and when to fit in is a tool in the box but letting that take over how you act and look and feel when you're not breaking in is the highway to normalcy.
Remember, we become what we pretend to be.
When was the last time you gave yourself permission to be silly?
This is not intended to make light of Current Circumstances. I know what dead bodies are. I know the end result of too much entropy.
But I worry, for me, and for you, that we are eating too much bread and not growing enough roses.
I worry we fell too far into the trap of defining ourselves in terms of our fights, that we forget what it is to exist outside of external purpose.
I tried, for a year, to not be in the fight. Any of the fights. I was exhausted. I was not getting my spoons back. And so I thought I would live simply. I would work a normal job and I would buy things with the money I earned and I would try to see what that dream thing is I keep hearing about. And for a while there was a romance to it. There is something good about being connected to your labor, something special about high viz tee shirts and dirty hands. There is a value in customer service voice, and the theater of work. But I found the deeper I went the more the mud sucked under my feet, and the scrabble to the top brought no joy no rewards but more and worse work, more getting yelled at more unpaid hours more emails to archive more projects and no time and no budget and worst of all no understanding from above that if something is worth doing it's worth paying someone to do, and if you don't want to pay someone to do it you would take if off the damn list of things to get done. My spoon drawer stayed empty, hit crisis. My stress stayed the same but the causes and solutions were stupid. I was more and more powerless.
This is my coming out of the cave. One shaky step at a time. I don't know what I'm doing and I don't know if I'll survive but what I do know is that we all die anyway. I don't want to die contributing to the creep of fascism, I don't want to die making someone else rich. There is no reward for keeping your head down and they cannot hammer every nail that pops up. Let me try. With fully informed consent. Knowing that my chances are next to nil. Let me extract my body from their machine, my labor from their pool. Let me breathe unconditioned air. I will make my wax wings and I will brave their fly swatters and I will sing in the shower and speak to strangers and pick up every shiny rock on my long walk to wherever it is I am going. I will put on my armor and I will find a new sword and I will stand where bodies are needed for something better than what we have. I will break out my bullhorn and I will lead when the chants falter and I will hand the mic to scared neophytes who don't know their own voice yet and I will coax it out of them with sweetness and whispers and whoops and hollers.
And I know, I will fall. I know that recovery is not a straight line. I know that progress is incremental, steps are taken back. I know I will land flat on my face. It's already happened, already happening.
Remember, you will die here. Remember you are already dead. But you do not have to die alone and you do not have to die in service to what you hate and you do not have to die having never lived.
These are omelet making times. And whether you are the one making the omelet or not a lot of eggs are getting broken and chances are you're going to be one of them. But listen to me, really listen. Sometimes an omelet needs to be made. And every single egg that breaks along the way matters. Everything that you are matters. The smell of lilacs in May, the burning pavement under bare feet, the taste of chlorine, of sea salt in the air, the touch of mist on a gray day, of mud between your toes, it matters.
Let the sun shine on your face.
Put down the work.
Find accomplices
Start planning
And for the love of the Goddess, get a little silly about it.
We're going on a jailbreak.
#48
Horrorology / Re: Fear, Loathing, and Horror.
May 21, 2023, 05:44:28 PM


forgot to post this when I finished it
#49
Or Kill Me / Re: Fuck You.
May 18, 2023, 07:30:13 PM
Got another one done while I was at it

#50
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 18, 2023, 05:59:56 PM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on May 18, 2023, 05:44:38 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 18, 2023, 05:37:50 PM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on May 18, 2023, 03:24:28 PM
I'm working on crawling out from under a rock. 2023 seems like an auspicious year for that. Or at least an interesting one.

SO glad to see you.  The po'buckers are totally out of control, and we have a ton of black & white film for you to help you manage things.

Good to exist. I may end up using that film this time.

Also you may get drafted to invade somewhere that hits -50. I know you're not for snow but I am not letting fatbergs be the reason the revolution fails.

Sorry, humans cannot survive below 80 degrees.  I will have to insist on a full environment suit, and a prybar.

I'll add it to the budget
#51
Or Kill Me / Re: We've Already Won.
May 18, 2023, 06:28:10 PM
#52
Or Kill Me / Re: We've Already Won.
May 18, 2023, 05:54:46 PM
What's your preferred attribution these days?
#53
just had basically the same experience with my printer. There was absolutely no indication that anything was physically wrong with the fucker, but because it's over 10 years old and was throwing an error code, I had to throw the whole thing out. No buying replacement parts, no bypassing the errors, just huck it in the junk bin. It isn't even planned obsolescence anymore, it's enforced obsolescence. They will literally rip a working object/piece of software out of your hands by any means they can to force the upgrade.

I should have been listening to the right to repair people much sooner.
#54
Or Kill Me / Re: We've Already Won.
May 18, 2023, 05:48:27 PM
I'm churning out some more Holy Nonsense stuff, can I format this one up? Still CC-A-ND-NC

Quote from: Scribbly on May 17, 2023, 01:20:49 PM
You can't undo what we have done.

Oh, sure, you'll fucking try. You'll kill us by the thousand. But that doesn't matter.

You think being alive is some kind of win condition on this fucked up little marble? How stupid are you? I don't know if you've noticed, but shit's bad and getting worse. You think I'm eager to stick around so I can drown in sewage like the rest of the apes? Hah. Pathetic. No, the only thing that keeps me going these days is spite. I'm suffering, but I'm going to make you suffer even more.

No. The thing you wanted to do was preserve the lie. Make us believe that the world fits into neat little boxes. Make your kids think that they're broken for feeling the way they feel, loving the people they love. But they've seen the truth, now.

You can kill every last one of us and it won't matter.

Everyone knows the lie for what it is.

For most of human history you and people like you have done a great job maintaining the lie, and whilst you could stop us talking to each other it worked nicely. But the truth has out. And here's the thing.

We're not content to just quietly kill ourselves any more.

We're going to make you do it. Knowing it won't change a fucking thing. Knowing that all it means is that sooner or later, you're going to throw your own kids on the pyre too.

You've lost. And that? That gives me life.

So fucking kill me, loser.
#55
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 18, 2023, 05:37:50 PM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on May 18, 2023, 03:24:28 PM
I'm working on crawling out from under a rock. 2023 seems like an auspicious year for that. Or at least an interesting one.

SO glad to see you.  The po'buckers are totally out of control, and we have a ton of black & white film for you to help you manage things.

Good to exist. I may end up using that film this time.

Also you may get drafted to invade somewhere that hits -50. I know you're not for snow but I am not letting fatbergs be the reason the revolution fails.
#56
Quote from: altered on May 18, 2023, 03:34:37 PM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on May 18, 2023, 03:24:28 PM
I'm working on crawling out from under a rock. 2023 seems like an auspicious year for that. Or at least an interesting one.

I'll be glad to see more of you again. How are you?

Husband got hospitalized for complications related to long covid, we were genuinely worried that was gonna be it for him for a couple days there. Fortunately he is still The Protagonist in some goddamn story so he's mostly better with the treatment he's on. Work has been grinding me to a paste, I'm trying to figure out how to extract myself from this place but I suck at interviews and there are enough gaps in my general understanding of office politics/professionalism that I am at a disadvantage. Also got documentably sexually harassed by the last head of HR at the place, but there's nothing useful to be done with that. You know, American Dream shit.

Finished Andor and now I have a strong need to DO THINGS. I might want to tag you in on one of the bigger plans if we can secure some moneybags for it, you have exactly the right experience for a couple slots. I'm glad to see you found someone you're clicking with!
#57
Aneristic Illusions / Completely Innocent Gears
May 18, 2023, 05:32:44 PM
There is no sin
In editing
Cleaning typos
From forms
Filled out by others
Tidying language
Making clear what was muddy
Shining light on truth
And scraping away
Uncertainty
So long as it is done
Diligently
With care
And accuracy
We must always strive
For accuracy

And so too, is there no sin
In writing down
What is seen
When you are
Where you have been paid to be
So long as it is done
Diligently
With an eye for the truth
Ever striving
For accuracy

In the light of all this
How could it be wrong
To pass along
The evidence of something amiss
To someone who knows
How to deal with it?
Someone who is
Certified
Trained and equipped
Authorized
To handle it

And if you do have the authority
Don't you also have the duty
To do something?
To intervene?
To protect a person from themselves
To protect the public
From the deranged?
Or simply from the consequences
Of their own poor decisions?
How can there be a sin
In doing everything you can
In service to your community?
Remembering
One must always act
Diligently

And one by one
The pieces of paper
Numbered and notarized
Pile up
Wind up
On the desk
Of someone
Who was given
The authority
Hammer in hand
Parsing
An image painted
By a thousand blameless artists
Seeking only
To do their jobs
Diligently
In a mechanical moment
The hammer strikes
A life ground down
By a machine
Made of a thousand guiltless gears
#58
I'm working on crawling out from under a rock. 2023 seems like an auspicious year for that. Or at least an interesting one.
#59
Or Kill Me / Re: Buttons
April 27, 2022, 10:11:54 PM
#60
What now?