Fred I can safely say you have never been born of the Spirit of God. Just because you practiced religion for a while and decided God was unfair and quit doesn't mean He doesn't unconditionallyl love you and wishes you would give your life to Christ now. But until then you are person in the flesh, and not of the Spirit. An enemy of God and a soul that has no purpose in this world. Empty, dead, poor, blind and naked! That's you! Now go to Jesus!