The blonde one is twenty. She's tall, thin and there's something wistful in her eyes. They're piercing, blue ones. Like really fucking piercing. You could get lost in those eyes and never want to come back. Looking wistful is no problem to someone with eyes like that. There's a bit of hippy about her, you can see that. Not that there's really such a thing these days but if she'd been born back when those kinda people ran about barefoot sticking flowers in things and pretending the grateful dead were actually good, yeah you could imagine her right in the middle of it all, wearing some kinda tie-dyed caftan and a big-brimmed hat.
In some of the photos the wistful is bordering on melancholy. Just beneath the surface there's a glimmer of sadness. Has she been hurt? When she was just a little kid, too young to understand what was happening? In one of those photos, is that little glimmer there because, right at that moment, she was thinking back to that pain? If there's any justice in this life, any god or buddha or thing with an elephant head, and the bastard is paying attention to his fucking job, then it's not. That glimmer is something else. The fact that she's about to say goodbye to a friend that's moving overseas for a while. She's just lost twenty quid in a bet. could be anything, really.
Just not that.
The brunette is two years younger and she looks like trouble. she's got the biggest smile I think I ever seen on a human being. That smile would infect you like fucking hyena-rabies. Every second photo she's mugging the camera with the kind of look in her eye that causes wars to happen for no good reason other than "we were drunk and we thought that country was empty". She has that easy humour in her eyes. Making people laugh is effortless for her. Wistful comes a bit less naturally than it does her sister but she pulls it off in a couple of shots. And, again, that sadness. Not as easy to spot cos even when she's sad her eyes are laughing but yeah, there it is. Peeking out at me. Or is it just my imagination?
I've looked at most of these pictures a hundred times the last couple of days. Trying to digest every detail. Gleaning clues, building a picture in my head of who I think they are. Because the truth is I have no idea who they are. Just fantasies and little scenes and conversations I've built up and played out in my head for the last thirteen and a bit years.
I really don't know them.
These are my daughters and I think that's all about to change.
Damn, Pent, that was great. I'm glad you're going for it.
Good luck mate.
That was so beautiful. My mother kept me away from my father and I started my relationship with him at twenty. I love the crazy old fuck dearly and am glad to have him in my, and my children's, lives.
Nice writing. I wish you the best of luck.
Intense.
I hope they leave you at least one noncrushed testicle.
What everyone's said so far, and then some.
Reuniting with long lost family members is always a highly sensitive and emotional thing for all parties; I wish you the best.
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on April 17, 2010, 09:53:44 PM
That was so beautiful. My mother kept me away from my father and I started my relationship with him at twenty. I love the crazy old fuck dearly and am glad to have him in my, and my children's, lives.
Thanks Nigel, that just might have been the perfect thing for me to hear about right now!
Heavy stuff. Good luck Pent, getting acquainted with a 'ready made' family isn't easy.
So far the two of them have made it very easy. So inappropriately easy, in fact, that my paranoia gland is going into overdrive, waiting for the punchline. I'm pretty sure that if the shoe was on the other foot I wouldn't be as cool about the whole thing as they are coming across. The blonde just emailed me her life story in two paragraphs that I've now read about 700 times and the brunette wants to get together for a beer.
This has been the solitary best fucking weekend of my entire existence and I haven't even met them yet.
Since they seem so willing to talk to you, I'm going to guess that it wasn't your idea to be absent from their lives. So in some ways, it's might be easier like this. Hope it works out for you and your daughters. :)
GOOD LUCK, P3NT!!! :)
Quote from: Hover Cat on April 18, 2010, 07:40:16 PM
Since they seem so willing to talk to you, I'm going to guess that it wasn't your idea to be absent from their lives.
You would think that wouldn't you? Actually it was pretty much entirely my doing. Hence the state of delighted bewilderment I've been living in for the last three days. I don't deserve this. Like I really don't deserve it. I should actually be in gitmo or somewhere right now with some butch american chick in a uniform, clipping jumpleads on my nipples and making fun of my genitals. That's what I really deserve. Instead I got these two incredible young women telling me they're glad I got in touch.
The human tearducts are capable of dispensing a seemingly unlimited supply of tears of joy. That's something else I've learned this weekend.
I'm happy for you, P3NT! :D
and ... yeah. But they want to meet you and that's AWESOME
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on April 18, 2010, 08:36:13 PM
Quote from: Hover Cat on April 18, 2010, 07:40:16 PM
Since they seem so willing to talk to you, I'm going to guess that it wasn't your idea to be absent from their lives.
You would think that wouldn't you? Actually it was pretty much entirely my doing. Hence the state of delighted bewilderment I've been living in for the last three days. I don't deserve this. Like I really don't deserve it. I should actually be in gitmo or somewhere right now with some butch american chick in a uniform, clipping jumpleads on my nipples and making fun of my genitals. That's what I really deserve. Instead I got these two incredible young women telling me they're glad I got in touch.
The human tearducts are capable of dispensing a seemingly unlimited supply of tears of joy. That's something else I've learned this weekend.
Well, then I'm going to agree with you. And be happy for you anyway. :)
That's great Pent.
I'm sure if you keep trying you'll end up in gitmo with jumpleads on your nipples.
Don't give up.
meh, some fantasies are best left as fantasies. I'm sure if I did get to gitmo they'd just pussy out on the voltage and leave me feeling disappointed anyroad :cry:
Sometimes people make really bad, dumb, crazy, stupid choices in their lives. The good thing is that people also seem to have an endless ability to forgive the people they love, even years later, even a lifetime later. Even if they never had the chance to love them the first time around.
TBH I'm trying to keep the 'L' word out of my mind. I'm more than happy to settle for them not hating my guts. Asking for what I'm feeling right now to be two sided is just downright fucking greedy, even by my standards.
Well I hope it works for you.
My parents had an awful relationship and the one positive I have is that after I got ill we get on better.
So it was a long time coming but we met in the flesh the other day. Something that I'd obviously repressed so deep I didn't even know was an actual thing came out. It's like I've had this massive hole in me the whole time, a gaping chasm that I wasn't aware existed until it suddenly filed up. I think this was what I was meant to feel in the delivery room when I was too emotionally retarded to feel it. I'm looking around at all the fathers I know and thinking "Why the fuck didn't you tell me it was like this!?" and then realising they did, it's just I didn't understand them at the time.