Yeah, you know what? It finally dawned on me exactly why I hate these smarmy fucks.
No, it's not that they don't believe in gay people. That's a load of horseshit, for sure, but there was something else going on there that was getting under my fucking skin.
No, it's not the assumption that the only "win" state in relationships is a life-long, monogamous partnership. While I vehemently disagree, too many people are too into that idea for me to be mad about it.
No, the problem is that unlike advertisements for other dating sites, eHarmony gleefully tells you that you are a fucking moron that can't tell what's good for you. You are too goddamned stupid to figure out what kind of person you want to be with, so you need this algorithm to find them for you. If you go looking somewhere else for somebody to love, you are an idiot and you will be sorry.
(For examples, see: dating is for morons, trust the computer (http://"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HI6WVhsVUBQ"), you're always a bridesmaid because you won't answer our questions (http://"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_7YgxeoKFI"), and your marriage will fail because you didn't find each other on our site (http://"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yp9-8jKuF4").)
I skipped that one because, it was too damned expensive, and they also don't believe in separated people dating.
eHarmony is AWESOME.
"We'll use an algorythm to find out who you should see. We'll also assign your moral values to you."
QuoteNo, the problem is that unlike advertisements for other dating sites, eHarmony gleefully tells you that you are a fucking moron that can't tell what's good for you.
Here's the thing. I know a few people and you probably do too. Think of anyone who makes bad romantic/dating/etc decisons? A lot? Even after being told explicitly(and often repeatedly) what the problem(with them) is?
From what I've seen, people like this rarely change. They seem to get stuck in very similar relationships that become almost predictable in their inevitable decline, end and "fresh start" There are a number of very selfish fuckers out there with incredible feelings of entitlement. They demand the best phone, best TV, best everything. Best Spouse just completes the picture.
Now when these pricks want their very own ultra special picked for them Wo/man, where do you turn to? The place that promises exactly that. Remove as much chance of conflict as possible, maximise similarities and obviously
IT. WILL. WORK
/
(http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsW/18372.gif)
What that approach (and online dating with it's "
TELL ME ALL THE THINGS" deal, which is
fucked up when you think about any of the NSA shit with this in general) lacks is any real possibility of discovery or growth through an honest change of ideas with someone you respect. You're not going to be exposed to anything radically new or interesting, you wouldn't want that. We know you don't because you ticked these boxes. The result here must be some very shallow relationships which inevitably falter and fail sending those involved back to the website. If they ever left.
Also, online dating websites are inherently reliant on more people being single and/or looking that not. So best business practice here would be to intentionally fuck up any "algorithm" (yeah, that exists) to ensure short and shitty relationships.
I don't get online dating. At all. It probably shows.
I've heard the "online dating sites are motivated to keep people out of happy relationships" angle before, and while I understand where it's coming from I just don't buy it. There's no magical point where everyone is in a happy relationship, roll credits. You constantly have new people entering the dating pool as they age in, people are more and more accepting of the notion of meeting people from the internet, and less interested in the idea of meeting people at clubs or bars or wherever it is folks used to go when they wanted to find someone new to fuck. There's no call for sabotaging your userbase when it's growing on its own. And with the heavy competition between dating sites, if you get a reputation for getting people into shitty relationships or none at all, you're going to lose market share fast.
Will you?
I assume these things have employees that are soley for sending inital messages from a few different alts to get people to sign up/upgrade/think it's working. I would assume online PR would be handled by your social media team (alts out the ass again)
I do get where you're coming from, but in this era of "The corporation must make more profit every quarter" there must come a point where the only way to expand the pool of singles is to artificially create them.
The dating services of the future will use various male and female employees to break up relationships. Then offer their card and a 10% introductory discount.
I would assume that dating sites will eventually sell client data to each other to maximise the amount of cash you can squeeze from the mark sucker lonely horny dude person. "We didn't work for you but look at X on Y! 20% off if you use this code!"
I just don't think there ever has been or ever will be a point when the market of people trying to get a date dries up. Why waste time and money on efforts to sabotage relationships when people do such a good job of it on their own?
I'm just guessing that it's probably easily accomplished. Say that algorithm exists and it works, it would be easy to deliberately mismatch a key criteria for an easy example of something that is likely to cause a lot of arguments long term. Sex drive, cleanliness, there's a bunch of shit that monkeys get really upset about very quickly that often lead to break ups.
This seems relevant, not watched it yet though:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b037wr14/Panorama_Tainted_Love_Secrets_of_the_Dating_Game/
If anything I've guessed is accurate it will probably make me think I'm right on the rest. While the market may not dry up totally, I bet the fight for custom gets a lot nastier and underhanded in future years.
Will watch that link and think a bit more.
I'm incapable of having an unbiased discussion about this because of my irrational fondness for OKC (the team behind the site, not necessarily its clientele). When I first started hanging out on the internet theSpark was a thing and it was awesome, so I'm always going to have a soft spot for its babies. You're probably right that things will get worse as competition increases, I think we're just not coming to the same conclusions as to whether dickery would be a viable business model in this marketspace. I generally bet on laziness and incompetence over malice.
I have been on many many dates from online sites. The proportion of good dates I found on Craigslist (back when you could post an ad and not have it flagged and removed instantly) and good friends that I still retain from meeting them on Craigslist far far far outweighs the proportion if good dates/friends I've met on dedicated dating sites, and the number of HOLY SHIT GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE dates was particularly high on OK Cupid dates.
Never tried eharmony, never will.
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on August 12, 2013, 08:58:05 PM
I generally bet on laziness and incompetence over malice.
You don't actually have to choose.
And after all that, I met my boyfriend at a barn dance. :lulz:
Quote from: YOUR Social Science Thinkmonkey on August 12, 2013, 09:15:58 PM
Never tried eharmony, never will.
Neither would I.
But I don't meet their standards anyway.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 12, 2013, 09:17:20 PM
Quote from: YOUR Social Science Thinkmonkey on August 12, 2013, 09:15:58 PM
Never tried eharmony, never will.
Neither would I.
But I don't meet their standards anyway.
Wait, what are their standards? :? I've never looked.
Quote from: YOUR Social Science Thinkmonkey on August 12, 2013, 09:17:57 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 12, 2013, 09:17:20 PM
Quote from: YOUR Social Science Thinkmonkey on August 12, 2013, 09:15:58 PM
Never tried eharmony, never will.
Neither would I.
But I don't meet their standards anyway.
Wait, what are their standards? :? I've never looked.
Imagine getting dating advice from a 95 year old hardshell Baptist.
Quote from: YOUR Social Science Thinkmonkey on August 12, 2013, 09:15:58 PM
I have been on many many dates from online sites. The proportion of good dates I found on Craigslist (back when you could post an ad and not have it flagged and removed instantly) and good friends that I still retain from meeting them on Craigslist far far far outweighs the proportion if good dates/friends I've met on dedicated dating sites, and the number of HOLY SHIT GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE dates was particularly high on OK Cupid dates.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure my opinion of them and my experience on the site are far from normal.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 12, 2013, 09:18:47 PM
Quote from: YOUR Social Science Thinkmonkey on August 12, 2013, 09:17:57 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 12, 2013, 09:17:20 PM
Quote from: YOUR Social Science Thinkmonkey on August 12, 2013, 09:15:58 PM
Never tried eharmony, never will.
Neither would I.
But I don't meet their standards anyway.
Wait, what are their standards? :? I've never looked.
Imagine getting dating advice from a 95 year old hardshell Baptist.
:lulz: Oh yeah, I don't think that would work out too well for either of us.
Quote from: YOUR Social Science Thinkmonkey on August 12, 2013, 09:47:04 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 12, 2013, 09:18:47 PM
Quote from: YOUR Social Science Thinkmonkey on August 12, 2013, 09:17:57 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 12, 2013, 09:17:20 PM
Quote from: YOUR Social Science Thinkmonkey on August 12, 2013, 09:15:58 PM
Never tried eharmony, never will.
Neither would I.
But I don't meet their standards anyway.
Wait, what are their standards? :? I've never looked.
Imagine getting dating advice from a 95 year old hardshell Baptist.
:lulz: Oh yeah, I don't think that would work out too well for either of us.
I DON'T SEE ANYTHING ON THIS TEST INVOLVING CROTCHLESS WETSUITS.
HELLO?
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 12, 2013, 09:49:11 PM
Quote from: YOUR Social Science Thinkmonkey on August 12, 2013, 09:47:04 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 12, 2013, 09:18:47 PM
Quote from: YOUR Social Science Thinkmonkey on August 12, 2013, 09:17:57 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 12, 2013, 09:17:20 PM
Quote from: YOUR Social Science Thinkmonkey on August 12, 2013, 09:15:58 PM
Never tried eharmony, never will.
Neither would I.
But I don't meet their standards anyway.
Wait, what are their standards? :? I've never looked.
Imagine getting dating advice from a 95 year old hardshell Baptist.
:lulz: Oh yeah, I don't think that would work out too well for either of us.
I DON'T SEE ANYTHING ON THIS TEST INVOLVING CROTCHLESS WETSUITS.
HELLO?
OR THE PROPER USE OF DILDOS.
Quote from: YOUR Social Science Thinkmonkey on August 12, 2013, 09:55:18 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 12, 2013, 09:49:11 PM
Quote from: YOUR Social Science Thinkmonkey on August 12, 2013, 09:47:04 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 12, 2013, 09:18:47 PM
Quote from: YOUR Social Science Thinkmonkey on August 12, 2013, 09:17:57 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 12, 2013, 09:17:20 PM
Quote from: YOUR Social Science Thinkmonkey on August 12, 2013, 09:15:58 PM
Never tried eharmony, never will.
Neither would I.
But I don't meet their standards anyway.
Wait, what are their standards? :? I've never looked.
Imagine getting dating advice from a 95 year old hardshell Baptist.
:lulz: Oh yeah, I don't think that would work out too well for either of us.
I DON'T SEE ANYTHING ON THIS TEST INVOLVING CROTCHLESS WETSUITS.
HELLO?
OR THE PROPER USE OF DILDOS.
I can't think of an improper use. :?
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 12, 2013, 09:56:06 PM
Quote from: YOUR Social Science Thinkmonkey on August 12, 2013, 09:55:18 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 12, 2013, 09:49:11 PM
Quote from: YOUR Social Science Thinkmonkey on August 12, 2013, 09:47:04 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 12, 2013, 09:18:47 PM
Quote from: YOUR Social Science Thinkmonkey on August 12, 2013, 09:17:57 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 12, 2013, 09:17:20 PM
Quote from: YOUR Social Science Thinkmonkey on August 12, 2013, 09:15:58 PM
Never tried eharmony, never will.
Neither would I.
But I don't meet their standards anyway.
Wait, what are their standards? :? I've never looked.
Imagine getting dating advice from a 95 year old hardshell Baptist.
:lulz: Oh yeah, I don't think that would work out too well for either of us.
I DON'T SEE ANYTHING ON THIS TEST INVOLVING CROTCHLESS WETSUITS.
HELLO?
OR THE PROPER USE OF DILDOS.
I can't think of an improper use. :?
Oh, I CAN. :D
Quote from: YOUR Social Science Thinkmonkey on August 12, 2013, 10:04:30 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 12, 2013, 09:56:06 PM
Quote from: YOUR Social Science Thinkmonkey on August 12, 2013, 09:55:18 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 12, 2013, 09:49:11 PM
Quote from: YOUR Social Science Thinkmonkey on August 12, 2013, 09:47:04 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 12, 2013, 09:18:47 PM
Quote from: YOUR Social Science Thinkmonkey on August 12, 2013, 09:17:57 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 12, 2013, 09:17:20 PM
Quote from: YOUR Social Science Thinkmonkey on August 12, 2013, 09:15:58 PM
Never tried eharmony, never will.
Neither would I.
But I don't meet their standards anyway.
Wait, what are their standards? :? I've never looked.
Imagine getting dating advice from a 95 year old hardshell Baptist.
:lulz: Oh yeah, I don't think that would work out too well for either of us.
I DON'T SEE ANYTHING ON THIS TEST INVOLVING CROTCHLESS WETSUITS.
HELLO?
OR THE PROPER USE OF DILDOS.
I can't think of an improper use. :?
Oh, I CAN. :D
WHOSE definition of "improper"?
I mean, I'm wracking my brain, here, but I can't think of a THING.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 12, 2013, 10:05:19 PM
Quote from: YOUR Social Science Thinkmonkey on August 12, 2013, 10:04:30 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 12, 2013, 09:56:06 PM
Quote from: YOUR Social Science Thinkmonkey on August 12, 2013, 09:55:18 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 12, 2013, 09:49:11 PM
Quote from: YOUR Social Science Thinkmonkey on August 12, 2013, 09:47:04 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 12, 2013, 09:18:47 PM
Quote from: YOUR Social Science Thinkmonkey on August 12, 2013, 09:17:57 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 12, 2013, 09:17:20 PM
Quote from: YOUR Social Science Thinkmonkey on August 12, 2013, 09:15:58 PM
Never tried eharmony, never will.
Neither would I.
But I don't meet their standards anyway.
Wait, what are their standards? :? I've never looked.
Imagine getting dating advice from a 95 year old hardshell Baptist.
:lulz: Oh yeah, I don't think that would work out too well for either of us.
I DON'T SEE ANYTHING ON THIS TEST INVOLVING CROTCHLESS WETSUITS.
HELLO?
OR THE PROPER USE OF DILDOS.
I can't think of an improper use. :?
Oh, I CAN. :D
WHOSE definition of "improper"?
I mean, I'm wracking my brain, here, but I can't think of a THING.
Oh, I was thinking by the definition of the people I like to use them with.
They're perfectly proper uses from my perspective, of course.
:eek::1fap:
:eek::1fap::hi5::1fap::eek:
deep thoughts: I wonder which hand the above smileys just hi5'd with
Quote from: Cramulus on August 12, 2013, 10:55:57 PM
:eek::1fap::hi5::1fap::eek:
deep thoughts: I wonder which hand the above smileys just hi5'd with
Hand?
I'm always entertained to see who other people think I should be dating. Never fails to entertain. Especially after answering every question that involves 'would you have kids' as negatively as possible . . . the very first person I'm paired with wants to know when I'm going to start having kids and how many I plan on having . . . and then gets pissed and pouts when I say never and none.
:lulz:
For some reason I seem to have to constantly re-learn that I actually don't much care for dating people, because every single time they want to hang out more than I want to hang out, no matter how clear I am up front that I'm not looking for another boyfriend.
It is, in fact, the reason I think I am still fond of BF after a year+, because, honestly, right now he's in Boise and hasn't texted me since yesterday, which is great, and when I see him it will be pleasant and non-demanding and he totally has a life, and invites me to go out to music events but doesn't pout when I have homework or kid stuff.
that is awesome Nigel, I'm happy for you :) :)
Thanks! It's a refreshing change of pace.