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www.onlineds.org

Thanks for the concern folks. I've been shaken up about it all day.

By the way Rabbid Badger, they said that a seizure is a rare reaction to the suction they use to remove the blood. It sounds plausible.

Mass hysteria's great. Especially when zombies are involved.

Hows your arm doing?

It's okay. There was no really bad damage, just kind of painful.

Let me begin by saying that this is more of a story than a rant. A true story however.

   So, the Red Cross came by my area today, and, feeling that others needed it more than I, I decided to donate a pint of blood. After sitting through about an hour's worth of questions pertaining to my travelling situation and sexual life (did you know you can't donate blood if you're gay?) I was finally admitted into the room to have my blood sucked from my arm. I was prepped and ready to have the needle inserted, and the technician (not nurse... technician) said, "This won't hurt a bit." It wasn't that bad... yet. After about 20 seconds I was a little woozy. Then after another minute I felt supremely dizzy. I didn't think anything of it. I thought it was just the effect of losing blood. Then I blacked out.

   A seizure! I had a fucking seizure! I started coming to to the sound of people screaming my name and some old guy in a Santa Clause hat holding my legs up. My first thought was, "Fuck! Santa Clause!" There was a searing pain in my arm where the needle was. I looked down to see why it hurt so much only to see the technician holding a bloody rag to the inside of my gushing elbow. Apparently during the seizure the needle was accidentaly ripped from my arm. This was an experience I will not soon forget.

   So, in short, fuck you Red Cross. Don't expect another donation of any sort from me again.

::Does a little jig.::

The English language is such a tragically vexing mixture of words and rules that barely anybody actually speaks and writes the lexicon correctly. It is with this truth, whether it be accurate or just in my head, that I conform so easily to the system and convention of the language. Don't be offended, it's only a game.

[Corrected]

this is not a rant. this is just ...um..me typing
because i am bored and you you will all suffer with the great eye bothersome  fizzle rizzle words! yes! what is tastyness
AND SO today it was discovered that rice is a very tasty creature with which you throw at your friends. They appreciate this greatly and will give you shiney coins in return! Hoo- ra! What a great money-making plan! Oh rich will be us. Apparently You should keep you friends close and your enemies closer in bed, or something like that. This is a good plan with which I will kill much halibut!
Oh fishy fishy I hate you so! Fish are evil creatures out to make an armie of uglies with which to pick apart our toes and bake a cake out of ugly people. I wouldn,Äôt want to eat that cake. And neither would your pants.
AND SO when I crush you like a flat can into a lovely jar of salted peanuts you will thank me greatly and give me presents. I really like presents. I never get them. How sad =( but this is not my purpose! I am here to tell you about the best new brand Vacuum! The Slutzor8738! It sucks EVERYTHING
AND SO I want a really big cup to drink orange juice from. A sparkley one! My orange juice only deserves the best. It is so sexy, it can work for under wear model. But secretly I hate oranges. They squirt nastyness in your eye and make you yell and shout profanity infront of your 5th grade teacher which doesn,Äôt please her. But she is old and droopy like melting taffy and thinks that you need to be hit in the head with a waffle iron!
Ouch my head is in funny squares! Please pour syrup on me. I prefer bluberry.
AND SO little children will be fed to my mother, who is an angry giant pillow case of great munchies.

kthxbye

Corrected

This is not a rant. This is just... um... me typing, because I am bored; and you, you will all suffer with great, eye bothersome, fizzle rizzle words! yes! what is tastiness. And so today it was discovered that rice is a very tasty creature with which you throw at your friends. They appreciate this greatly and will give you shiny coins in return! Hoo- ra! What a great money-making plan! Oh rich will be we. Apparently You should keep you friends close and your enemies closer in bed, or something like that. This is a good plan with which I will kill many hallibut!
Oh fishy, fishy, I hate you so! Fish are evil creatures out to make an army of uglies with which to pick apart our toes and bake a cake out of ugly people. I wouldn,Äôt want to eat that cake; and neither would your pants.
And so when I crush you like a flat can into a lovely jar of salted peanuts. You will thank me greatly and give me presents. I really like presents. I never get them. How sad =(, but this is not my purpose! I am here to tell you about the best new brand of Vacuum! The Slutzor8738! It sucks everything. And so I want a really big cup from which to drink orange juice. A sparkley one! My orange juice only deserves the best. It is so sexy; it can work as an underwear model. But secretly, I hate oranges. They squirt nastiness into your eye and make you yell and shout profanity infront of your 5th grade teacher, which doesn,Äôt please her. But she is old and droopy, like melting taffy, and thinks that you need to be hit in the head with a waffle iron! Ouch my head is in formed funny squares! Please pour syrup on me. I prefer bluberry. And so little children will be fed to my mother, who is an angry giant pillow case with great munchies.

kthxbye

you forgot capitilization and  syntax

Thanks, I did miss a few.

Corrected

This is not a rant. This is just... um... me typing, because I am bored; and you, you will all suffer with great, eye bothersome, fizzle rizzle words! Yes! What is tastiness? And so today it was discovered that rice is a very tasty creature which you throw at your friends. They appreciate this greatly and will give you shiny coins in return! Hoo-ra! What a great money-making plan! Oh rich will be we. Apparently You should keep you friends close and your enemies closer... in bed, or something like that. This is a good plan with which I will kill many hallibut! Oh fishy, fishy, I hate you so! Fish are evil creatures out to make an army of uglies with which to pick apart our toes and bake a cake out of ugly people. I wouldn,Äôt want to eat that cake; and neither would your pants. And so when I crush you like a flat can into a lovely jar of salted peanuts, you will thank me greatly and give me presents. I really like presents. I never get them. How sad =( , but this is not my purpose! I am here to tell you about the best new brand of Vacuum! The Slutzor8738! It sucks everything. And so I want a really big cup from which to drink orange juice. A sparkley one! My orange juice only deserves the best. It is so sexy; it can work as an underwear model. But secretly, I hate oranges. They squirt nastiness into your eye and make you yell and shout profanity infront of your 5th grade teacher, which doesn,Äôt please her. But she is old and droopy, like melting taffy, and thinks that you need to be hit in the head with a waffle iron! Ouch my head is in formed funny squares! Please pour syrup on me. I prefer bluberry. And so little children will be fed to my mother, who is an angry giant pillow case with great munchies.

I think that's all of it.

[Corrected]

this is not a rant. this is just ...um..me typing
because i am bored and you you will all suffer with the great eye bothersome  fizzle rizzle words! yes! what is tastyness
AND SO today it was discovered that rice is a very tasty creature with which you throw at your friends. They appreciate this greatly and will give you shiney coins in return! Hoo- ra! What a great money-making plan! Oh rich will be us. Apparently You should keep you friends close and your enemies closer in bed, or something like that. This is a good plan with which I will kill much halibut!
Oh fishy fishy I hate you so! Fish are evil creatures out to make an armie of uglies with which to pick apart our toes and bake a cake out of ugly people. I wouldn,Äôt want to eat that cake. And neither would your pants.
AND SO when I crush you like a flat can into a lovely jar of salted peanuts you will thank me greatly and give me presents. I really like presents. I never get them. How sad =( but this is not my purpose! I am here to tell you about the best new brand Vacuum! The Slutzor8738! It sucks EVERYTHING
AND SO I want a really big cup to drink orange juice from. A sparkley one! My orange juice only deserves the best. It is so sexy, it can work for under wear model. But secretly I hate oranges. They squirt nastyness in your eye and make you yell and shout profanity infront of your 5th grade teacher which doesn,Äôt please her. But she is old and droopy like melting taffy and thinks that you need to be hit in the head with a waffle iron!
Ouch my head is in funny squares! Please pour syrup on me. I prefer bluberry.
AND SO little children will be fed to my mother, who is an angry giant pillow case of great munchies.

kthxbye

Corrected

This is not a rant. This is just... um... me typing, because I am bored; and you, you will all suffer with great, eye bothersome, fizzle rizzle words! yes! what is tastiness. And so today it was discovered that rice is a very tasty creature with which you throw at your friends. They appreciate this greatly and will give you shiny coins in return! Hoo- ra! What a great money-making plan! Oh rich will be we. Apparently You should keep you friends close and your enemies closer in bed, or something like that. This is a good plan with which I will kill many hallibut!
Oh fishy, fishy, I hate you so! Fish are evil creatures out to make an army of uglies with which to pick apart our toes and bake a cake out of ugly people. I wouldn,Äôt want to eat that cake; and neither would your pants.
And so when I crush you like a flat can into a lovely jar of salted peanuts. You will thank me greatly and give me presents. I really like presents. I never get them. How sad =(, but this is not my purpose! I am here to tell you about the best new brand of Vacuum! The Slutzor8738! It sucks everything. And so I want a really big cup from which to drink orange juice. A sparkley one! My orange juice only deserves the best. It is so sexy; it can work as an underwear model. But secretly, I hate oranges. They squirt nastiness into your eye and make you yell and shout profanity infront of your 5th grade teacher, which doesn,Äôt please her. But she is old and droopy, like melting taffy, and thinks that you need to be hit in the head with a waffle iron! Ouch my head is in formed funny squares! Please pour syrup on me. I prefer bluberry. And so little children will be fed to my mother, who is an angry giant pillow case with great munchies.

kthxbye

Have you ever seen a corked beer bottle? Yeah, it's no fun when one lacks a cork screw. I prefer my drinks to be overloaded with caffeine anyway. Can I get an e-doppio at the open bar?

Chai tea or tai chi
They will both make you relaxed
But one takes more work

Next topic - Why you wan't to bring the apocolypse.

Amy Jo Johnson never became a porn star... unfortuately.

Really?

Really.  Unless that's a broken link.  The google search came back negative.

Not a broken link. Definately porn.

Fly through the rectum
Of a large politician
General Evil

(sounds best when sung)

next topic - An ape with a smokebomb.

Because all they needed was crucifixes and holy water?

No, it was just a baseball bat and plain water.

[FOUR MORE YEARS!]

If Bush is voted out, so many political satirists would become unemployed, and liberals wouldn't be able to continue their publishing spree.
FOUR MORE YEARS!

At the Rate Bush is going they'll have to move 2012 to 2006...

You guys should come live in Canada. We don't have set years for our elections, the reigning party calls them (they usually go for four years, one under the max time allowed, five years, [ ] but under the Chretien Liberals, they had elections every three and a half years) (they also call elections if a vote of no-confidence is made in parliment...you guys need that in the US).

on the other hand, the rulignparty often sets the election dates when they're support is stringest, which is possibly why(cept for a very crappy and un-united right for most of it) the liberals were able tostay in power so long and so strongly. now they're still in power, but at least it's not a majority deal thing.



as for the poltical satirists, and whatnto, i think they had a bigger heyday with the clinton that bush, heck they've prettymuch left bush alone. i mean clinton had whitewater and lewinsky, bush has had so many of these scandals it's fuckin ridiculous in comparison(and earns me more respect for clinton, whcih unliek the pervy but oh so moral americans, wasn;t lsot when the lewinsky affair happend- i knew clinton was a pretty damn decent president, which can be proven by his three hour state of the union speeches which had less to do with pisspoor ideolgy and mroe to do with the state of the union).

no if anything, a democrat in office only brings the politcal leech writers back from vacation.

Don't be too sure the liberals stay in power in the canadian system. The current heads of state in Oz (where the system is very similar) are the borderline fascists (ironically called "the liberal party" as some sort of sick joke) have been in power for nearly 10 years now. and this federal election will probably see them stay in power meaning the gap between rich and poor in this country is only going to get bigger.

heh, they're only called "the liberal party" which in candian politk sp33k means roughly the "appeal to everyone, especially ontario and quebec" party. rather than fascism, it mroe resembles the vanguard party system of soviet russia, where the party members elected the legislature which elected the president which chose the party members and told them who to elect to the legislature adn then further told them who to vote for president. not unliek the soviet sytem it breeds a great deal of corruption. i reckon if the governemtnt cut out only it's corruption we could have a reasonable military and a sustainable effective public health care system. throw in a paradigm shift towards a more corporate like atmosphere in the bureaucratic elements, and we could ahve a public day care service too....
throw soem responsible economics on top, and we might even get lower taxes out of the deal(or maybe public post secondary education). the amount of money wasted on compeltely retarded bullshit is incredible.

Yeah, Ontario, Quebec and the territories are Liberal (or Bloc Quebecois in Quebec, like this time), the prairies and BC are Conservative, and the maritimes are for anyone who bothers to do door-to-door, what with the several miles between each house.

A handy map!

After Mike Harris, Ontario will be lib FOREVER.

yeah unfortunately. the teachers and bureaucrats did an extremely job of vilifying him, tho his reforms were actually pretty good, and no unprecedented by any means..

Are you MAD?  He DESTROYED your health care system.

That's alot of quotes.