i'm going to make a comic strip based on your adventures and make millions.
I found this looking for almost this, and...the universe scares me
So who would have cleaned the locker rooms if he had kept his mouth shut?
Billy: "Have you memorized the Glengarry Ross monologue yet?"
Billy: "Have you memorized the Glengarry Ross monologue yet?"
Well...have you?
'Desk Haka''Bout died when I read that.
:horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :fap:
So that damned underwater spring found it's way to the surface again, right in the middle of an intersection. It's also come up at an angle, so the water is welling up through the blacktop and running uphill for a short distance, and then down the storm drain.
*watching water run uphill*
Nick: "What the hell?"
Billy: "Get used to it. You work for Dok now, and that's how things are. Remind me to tell you about the haunted water tank."
Me: "Remind me to tell you both about the robot fucker."
Nick: "..."
Billy: "You're not even kidding, are you?"
Me: "This is all normal, kids."
So that damned underwater spring found it's way to the surface again, right in the middle of an intersection. It's also come up at an angle, so the water is welling up through the blacktop and running uphill for a short distance, and then down the storm drain.
*watching water run uphill*
Nick: "What the hell?"
Billy: "Get used to it. You work for Dok now, and that's how things are. Remind me to tell you about the haunted water tank."
Me: "Remind me to tell you both about the robot fucker."
Nick: "..."
Billy: "You're not even kidding, are you?"
Me: "This is all normal, kids."
:lulz:
The robot fucker was at the observatory, right?
the "looks in boss" are seriously the best part.
I love that you have minions.
So what do you do with all that carbon when it's, err... full?
Can you just lay it out in the sun and let it ventilate itself, and then reuse it?
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Billy: "But what if there isn't another shoe?"
Me: "Have you learned NOTHING?"
Funhouse by the Stooges. I’ve tried. It’s a no-go.
I like this one.
When's Billy's last day?
I like how you strung Kevin along on that one.
Completely flattened it!
Do these people just drive off after smashing the nodes?
My new office has the following dimensions:
Height: 15 feet
Wall 1: 6.5 feet
Wall 2: 16.5 feet
Wall 3: 13 feet
Wall 4: 11 feet
Wall 5: 21 feet.
Also, the angles don't add up.
Hounds of Tindalos? NEVER HEARD OF THEM.
My new office has the following dimensions:
Height: 15 feet
Wall 1: 6.5 feet
Wall 2: 16.5 feet
Wall 3: 13 feet
Wall 4: 11 feet
Wall 5: 21 feet.
Also, the angles don't add up.
Hounds of Tindalos? NEVER HEARD OF THEM.
I completely forgot to ask how you ended up with a pentagon for an office.
I'm hoping there will be at least one more good story out of this.
Didn't think of that bit.
Three snake sightings today. I expect more over the next couple of weeks.
It's worth mentioning that the snake was found by our grounds people yesterday afternoon, in very poor condition, and was removed to an animal shelter for treatment.
Three snake sightings today. I expect more over the next couple of weeks.
It's worth mentioning that the snake was found by our grounds people yesterday afternoon, in very poor condition, and was removed to an animal shelter for treatment.
:lulz:
Also, complaints of mold odor by the ladies that work at our service desk. These ladies are saints, who deal with entitled old fucks 24/7 and somehow maintain their composure.
Mold tests in that area match the same level as the rest of the building and outdoors, but the smell is only there. The HVAC system is not compromised. There are no dead rodents in the area. The ladies themselves do not smell bad.
This can only be the result of black magic.
Also, complaints of mold odor by the ladies that work at our service desk. These ladies are saints, who deal with entitled old fucks 24/7 and somehow maintain their composure.
Mold tests in that area match the same level as the rest of the building and outdoors, but the smell is only there. The HVAC system is not compromised. There are no dead rodents in the area. The ladies themselves do not smell bad.
This can only be the result of black magic.
Hmmm..... Could something come in that has mold on it? Maybe the cleaners mop? Actually don't tell me, I don't know why I want to suck the mystery out of the universe.
:lulz:
The punchline gets me, every time.
I seem to have lost 20,385,000 gallons of water sometime in June.
I seem to have lost 20,385,000 gallons of water sometime in June.
:O how?
I seem to have lost 20,385,000 gallons of water sometime in June.
:O how?
I suspect evil magic.
Or a broken meter.
One or the other.
Please let me know by noon which of the following will be available for discussion with the ETF today:
1. Jan-June Trico spreadsheet, rate code, kw, kwh, $
2. Jan-June SW Gas spreadsheet, therms, $
3. Example bulb in a box of parking lot light(s) [if more than one kind]. Since we now don't know for sure how many hours the tennis lights are used, parking bulbs take priority since they are on many hours.
4. How do we heat our buildings, gas or heat pump?
5. Spec sheet on A/C (heat pump?) existing and units to be replaced, or have been recently replaced, per the reserve study
6. Spec on furnaces, if they exist. Nameplate BTU/HR and efficiency rating.
7. Specs on pool heaters. Nameplate BTU/HR, eff., flow rate, delta T, etc.
Be sure to let me know if other resources are needed to help. Vince offered monies.
Thanks,
Ron
Such problems you have! Where to begin? What horrors to wreak?
Meeting of doom concluded.
Treacherous underling very over. Evil HR lady taking on water with associated engine room trouble. Big boss probably taking medical retirement. My faction's "leader", so to speak, will probably be the new big boss within a month, which means Evil HR lady very over.
My boss sitting there with a wide-eyed stare, stunned from the horrible devastation. The good news is that he went in fighting, which I wasn't sure he had in him, and he didn't try to moderate any of the horrible shit I did.
Also, Evil HR lady managed to reveal who her rat is. muhaha.
Anyway, within about 4 weeks we can get back to actually getting things done.
Moral: Document everything - EVERYTHING - before you stick your junk in the blender.
"Go do money shit."
That's awesome.
I love how subversive you can get while just following the game rules as presented.
Literally talking about the elephant in the room. I dig it.
I am intensely interested to know whose job it is to deal with the elephant shit.
Have you interviewed the elephant?
Have you interviewed the elephant?
What?
What's the side today?
:O wait, Billy returned to the work place?
:O wait, Billy returned to the work place?
No, Billy is a bad person and does bad things, but he hasn't yet detonated a pig.
Kevin: "Did he ever do any refrigeration work?"I'm finding it a bit difficult not to employ the "no-true-scotsman" fallacy, here. I mean, wouldn't a real electronics guy know that big things have big tradeoffs?
Me: "Nope. Electronics."
Kevin: "Is he really that arrogant?"We're not all bad. I have a degree in electrical engineering, but I'm the first to admit you shouldn't let me try to fix your blender. Not unless you have the schematics for it.
Me: "Engineer."
Me: "But we aren't going to fix it, at least until he has rolled in his own poop for a while. Engineers can't learn without pain and humiliation."This is true. It might even take more than one incident.
Me: This is all normal, Billy.""Situation normal" is one of my pre-canned responses to "How's it going?" I'm trying to train the project manager to wince whenever I use it. I have a manic grin to go along with it.
Kevin: "Did he ever do any refrigeration work?"I'm finding it a bit difficult not to employ the "no-true-scotsman" fallacy, here. I mean, wouldn't a real electronics guy know that big things have big tradeoffs?
Me: "Nope. Electronics."QuoteKevin: "Is he really that arrogant?"We're not all bad. I have a degree in electrical engineering, but I'm the first to admit you shouldn't let me try to fix your blender. Not unless you have the schematics for it.
Me: "Engineer."
It's reasonable to assume arrogance by default, though. ERTW is part of the culture, or at least it was, back when I was in school.QuoteMe: "But we aren't going to fix it, at least until he has rolled in his own poop for a while. Engineers can't learn without pain and humiliation."This is true. It might even take more than one incident.QuoteMe: This is all normal, Billy.""Situation normal" is one of my pre-canned responses to "How's it going?" I'm trying to train the project manager to wince whenever I use it. I have a manic grin to go along with it.
...and what's wrong with ABBA?
Also, Engineers do not rule the world. Engineers function at the whim of the people who carve up the budget.
The money people. LMNO. You know when they're around because your money panics in a moment of existential dread. Your stocks go sideways and they will teach you to NEVER again stick your junk in the bond market, if you know what I mean. And I think you do. When money people are around, all the radio stations start playing Abba, except the religious AM stations, and those just start howling about "improper physics" or maybe about how "WE GOT YOUR FRIENDS WE GOT YOUR FAMILY IA IA IA!".
Engineers design things, given enough motivation (pain, humiliation, astonishingly small bonuses, and maybe a convention or two that they falsely assume is a chance at mating). Engineers in their resting state do whatever they can to prevent anything from actually being built or repaired, because YOU'RE DOIN' IT WRONG YOU HORRIBLE LITTLE MAINTENANCE OBJECT. Their radios only play David Mustaine, because they're edgy like that.
MY people, on the other hand, are terminally-lazy, half-educated people that are good with their hands if you poke them with the stun wand a time or ten. They have a deep-seated phobia of work and react to new knowledge and techniques with spastic horror.
Everybody sucks.
Also, Engineers do not rule the world. Engineers function at the whim of the people who carve up the budget.
The money people. LMNO. You know when they're around because your money panics in a moment of existential dread. Your stocks go sideways and they will teach you to NEVER again stick your junk in the bond market, if you know what I mean. And I think you do. When money people are around, all the radio stations start playing Abba, except the religious AM stations, and those just start howling about "improper physics" or maybe about how "WE GOT YOUR FRIENDS WE GOT YOUR FAMILY IA IA IA!".
Engineers design things, given enough motivation (pain, humiliation, astonishingly small bonuses, and maybe a convention or two that they falsely assume is a chance at mating). Engineers in their resting state do whatever they can to prevent anything from actually being built or repaired, because YOU'RE DOIN' IT WRONG YOU HORRIBLE LITTLE MAINTENANCE OBJECT. Their radios only play David Mustaine, because they're edgy like that.
MY people, on the other hand, are terminally-lazy, half-educated people that are good with their hands if you poke them with the stun wand a time or ten. They have a deep-seated phobia of work and react to new knowledge and techniques with spastic horror.
Everybody sucks.
you may need to invest in some essential equipment (nipple electrical shocker thing, a few dozen whips, black nylon rope, fuzzy handcuffs, a three foot long dildo that attaches to the table or wall, and duck tape.)
after you obtain these items, you can start using them effectively, :D before you know it you will be promoted to CEO. I garantee it.
Also, Engineers do not rule the world. Engineers function at the whim of the people who carve up the budget.
The money people. LMNO. You know when they're around because your money panics in a moment of existential dread. Your stocks go sideways and they will teach you to NEVER again stick your junk in the bond market, if you know what I mean. And I think you do. When money people are around, all the radio stations start playing Abba, except the religious AM stations, and those just start howling about "improper physics" or maybe about how "WE GOT YOUR FRIENDS WE GOT YOUR FAMILY IA IA IA!".
Engineers design things, given enough motivation (pain, humiliation, astonishingly small bonuses, and maybe a convention or two that they falsely assume is a chance at mating). Engineers in their resting state do whatever they can to prevent anything from actually being built or repaired, because YOU'RE DOIN' IT WRONG YOU HORRIBLE LITTLE MAINTENANCE OBJECT. Their radios only play David Mustaine, because they're edgy like that.
MY people, on the other hand, are terminally-lazy, half-educated people that are good with their hands if you poke them with the stun wand a time or ten. They have a deep-seated phobia of work and react to new knowledge and techniques with spastic horror.
Everybody sucks.
you may need to invest in some essential equipment (nipple electrical shocker thing, a few dozen whips, black nylon rope, fuzzy handcuffs, a three foot long dildo that attaches to the table or wall, and duck tape.)
after you obtain these items, you can start using them effectively, :D before you know it you will be promoted to CEO. I garantee it.
I feel as if I should point out that I have infested this planet for 50 years this October, and there is absolutely nothing you can shock me with when it comes to depravity. If you were not around for the Reagan years, you cannot truly understand perversion and should find a different approach. LMNO will back me up on this, he is almost as hideously old as I am, and would have fucked a mud puddle if it wiggled, back before he found Jesus.
Doktor Howl,
Old and vile and covered in fleas.
Also, Engineers do not rule the world. Engineers function at the whim of the people who carve up the budget.
The money people. LMNO. You know when they're around because your money panics in a moment of existential dread. Your stocks go sideways and they will teach you to NEVER again stick your junk in the bond market, if you know what I mean. And I think you do. When money people are around, all the radio stations start playing Abba, except the religious AM stations, and those just start howling about "improper physics" or maybe about how "WE GOT YOUR FRIENDS WE GOT YOUR FAMILY IA IA IA!".
Engineers design things, given enough motivation (pain, humiliation, astonishingly small bonuses, and maybe a convention or two that they falsely assume is a chance at mating). Engineers in their resting state do whatever they can to prevent anything from actually being built or repaired, because YOU'RE DOIN' IT WRONG YOU HORRIBLE LITTLE MAINTENANCE OBJECT. Their radios only play David Mustaine, because they're edgy like that.
MY people, on the other hand, are terminally-lazy, half-educated people that are good with their hands if you poke them with the stun wand a time or ten. They have a deep-seated phobia of work and react to new knowledge and techniques with spastic horror.
Everybody sucks.
you may need to invest in some essential equipment (nipple electrical shocker thing, a few dozen whips, black nylon rope, fuzzy handcuffs, a three foot long dildo that attaches to the table or wall, and duck tape.)
after you obtain these items, you can start using them effectively, :D before you know it you will be promoted to CEO. I garantee it.
I feel as if I should point out that I have infested this planet for 50 years this October, and there is absolutely nothing you can shock me with when it comes to depravity. If you were not around for the Reagan years, you cannot truly understand perversion and should find a different approach. LMNO will back me up on this, he is almost as hideously old as I am, and would have fucked a mud puddle if it wiggled, back before he found Jesus.
Doktor Howl,
Old and vile and covered in fleas.
so, you're saying the other folk at the place you work is of a similar age? :O
*nods, this body was born during the Reagon Reign. :D
Also, Engineers do not rule the world. Engineers function at the whim of the people who carve up the budget.
The money people. LMNO. You know when they're around because your money panics in a moment of existential dread. Your stocks go sideways and they will teach you to NEVER again stick your junk in the bond market, if you know what I mean. And I think you do. When money people are around, all the radio stations start playing Abba, except the religious AM stations, and those just start howling about "improper physics" or maybe about how "WE GOT YOUR FRIENDS WE GOT YOUR FAMILY IA IA IA!".
Engineers design things, given enough motivation (pain, humiliation, astonishingly small bonuses, and maybe a convention or two that they falsely assume is a chance at mating). Engineers in their resting state do whatever they can to prevent anything from actually being built or repaired, because YOU'RE DOIN' IT WRONG YOU HORRIBLE LITTLE MAINTENANCE OBJECT. Their radios only play David Mustaine, because they're edgy like that.
MY people, on the other hand, are terminally-lazy, half-educated people that are good with their hands if you poke them with the stun wand a time or ten. They have a deep-seated phobia of work and react to new knowledge and techniques with spastic horror.
Everybody sucks.
you may need to invest in some essential equipment (nipple electrical shocker thing, a few dozen whips, black nylon rope, fuzzy handcuffs, a three foot long dildo that attaches to the table or wall, and duck tape.)
after you obtain these items, you can start using them effectively, :D before you know it you will be promoted to CEO. I garantee it.
I feel as if I should point out that I have infested this planet for 50 years this October, and there is absolutely nothing you can shock me with when it comes to depravity. If you were not around for the Reagan years, you cannot truly understand perversion and should find a different approach. LMNO will back me up on this, he is almost as hideously old as I am, and would have fucked a mud puddle if it wiggled, back before he found Jesus.
Doktor Howl,
Old and vile and covered in fleas.
so, you're saying the other folk at the place you work is of a similar age? :O
*nods, this body was born during the Reagon Reign. :D
Yes. We are all old and cranky, and hate young people. Especially that bastard Kevin.
Also, Engineers do not rule the world. Engineers function at the whim of the people who carve up the budget.
The money people. LMNO. You know when they're around because your money panics in a moment of existential dread. Your stocks go sideways and they will teach you to NEVER again stick your junk in the bond market, if you know what I mean. And I think you do. When money people are around, all the radio stations start playing Abba, except the religious AM stations, and those just start howling about "improper physics" or maybe about how "WE GOT YOUR FRIENDS WE GOT YOUR FAMILY IA IA IA!".
Engineers design things, given enough motivation (pain, humiliation, astonishingly small bonuses, and maybe a convention or two that they falsely assume is a chance at mating). Engineers in their resting state do whatever they can to prevent anything from actually being built or repaired, because YOU'RE DOIN' IT WRONG YOU HORRIBLE LITTLE MAINTENANCE OBJECT. Their radios only play David Mustaine, because they're edgy like that.
MY people, on the other hand, are terminally-lazy, half-educated people that are good with their hands if you poke them with the stun wand a time or ten. They have a deep-seated phobia of work and react to new knowledge and techniques with spastic horror.
Everybody sucks.
you may need to invest in some essential equipment (nipple electrical shocker thing, a few dozen whips, black nylon rope, fuzzy handcuffs, a three foot long dildo that attaches to the table or wall, and duck tape.)
after you obtain these items, you can start using them effectively, :D before you know it you will be promoted to CEO. I garantee it.
I feel as if I should point out that I have infested this planet for 50 years this October, and there is absolutely nothing you can shock me with when it comes to depravity. If you were not around for the Reagan years, you cannot truly understand perversion and should find a different approach. LMNO will back me up on this, he is almost as hideously old as I am, and would have fucked a mud puddle if it wiggled, back before he found Jesus.
Doktor Howl,
Old and vile and covered in fleas.
so, you're saying the other folk at the place you work is of a similar age? :O
*nods, this body was born during the Reagon Reign. :D
Yes. We are all old and cranky, and hate young people. Especially that bastard Kevin.
:3 interesting. :D well, as a goddess i am probably around 100 times your age. :D 4004. *nods.
I feel as if I should point out that I have infested this planet for 50 years this October, and there is absolutely nothing you can shock me with when it comes to depravity. If you were not around for the Reagan years, you cannot truly understand perversion and should find a different approach. LMNO will back me up on this, he is almost as hideously old as I am, and would have fucked a mud puddle if it wiggled, back before he found Jesus.
Doktor Howl,
Old and vile and covered in fleas.
so, you're saying the other folk at the place you work is of a similar age? :O
*nods, this body was born during the Reagon Reign. :D
Yes. We are all old and cranky, and hate young people. Especially that bastard Kevin.
:3 interesting. :D well, as a goddess i am probably around 100 times your age. :D 4004. *nods.
HAH. I am a Titan. Like that Cronut guy.
Therefore WAY older.
...and what's wrong with ABBA?
Nothing is wrong with Abba. It was the absolute exemplar of the British music scene.
Also, Engineers do not rule the world. Engineers function at the whim of the people who carve up the budget.We figure that out a few years into our first job. The arrogant ones (like your Ron) refuse to face it and become even more arrogant. The smart ones get themselves a solid technical grounding, and then switch careers to budget carving. The weaker ones, crushed between the caprices of the business development group and the ruthless Judgement of The Machine God, dissipate into the ether, or go into sales. The rest succumb to the grind. A few manage to have fun with it.
Engineers design things, given enough motivation (pain, humiliation, astonishingly small bonuses, and maybe a convention or two that they falsely assume is a chance at mating).I design things because I find it vaguely amusing, and it keeps me off the streets. Unfortunately, the things I design are often pretty stupid. Ever spent two weeks of your life adding a feature nobody is ever going to use, just because that idiot in the systems department wrote it into the spec?
Their radios only play David Mustaine, because they're edgy like that.Never heard of him.
Everybody sucks.No exceptions.
What's funny is that when I told them in the beginning of the meeting that none of this was personal, they took that to be a good thing :lulz:
QuoteWhat's funny is that when I told them in the beginning of the meeting that none of this was personal, they took that to be a good thing :lulz:
You must not have said it correctly. Every time I've had to say that it's been very, very obvious that it is quite personal and Fuck You. I see the fun in your method, just a style and preference thing I guess.
How long did it take them to work out it was personal? If it's more than 10 minutes these people are beyond backward.
I love that Kevin is starting to become self-aware.
Kevin: "You're having me on."
Me: "Google it. On your phone. Right now."
A fatberg is a congealed lump in a sewer system formed by the combination of non-biodegradable solid matter
...
The resulting lumps of congealed material can be as strong as concrete, and require specialist equipment to remove.
Handled incorrectly, even small amounts of fatberg can kill.
...
The fatberg samples can only be moved by trained personnel wearing full protective clothing.
...
Fatbergs are a material that’s not well understood, chemically or biologically. We’ve had flies hatch out of the fatberg, and mould growth while it was drying out
Don't try to fool me. You captured a gelatinous cube.
Don't try to fool me. You captured a gelatinous cube.
This is more like an ochre jelly. That's poisonous. And might explode.
Conditions are different from the London sewers, and if you want, I can tell you how this could potentially kill us all. By "us" I of course mean myself, my crew, and a pack of blue hairs.
Don't try to fool me. You captured a gelatinous cube.
This is more like an ochre jelly. That's poisonous. And might explode.
Conditions are different from the London sewers, and if you want, I can tell you how this could potentially kill us all. By "us" I of course mean myself, my crew, and a pack of blue hairs.
I'm interested. I have a fascination with subterranean horrors.
Well, the blob, when sufficient large, will begin to heat up in the center. Just a few degrees, but that's all that is required. The center of the blob will pull oxygen from the outside and start forming diesel-like hydrocarbons. The outer layers, starved of oxygen, start growing anaerobes (tetanus, gangrene, various sulfur-reducing bugs, etc). Water is, by osmosis, pulled from all sides and deposited directly beneath the fatberg. Here that means it dissolves the caliche beneath it (which is added to the fatberg as white chunks of calcium and sodium), which means it sinks over time. When it reaches bedrock, it stops moving and starts pressurizing. Eventually, the center diesels and you get a pressurized scalding hot geyser of unkillable fatal prehistoric bacteria. (The fatbergs of London don't have the same problem because they are in tunnels and have room on either end to expand.)Part of me is wondering how hard it would be to intentionally grow one of these. You know, FOR SCIENCE.
No matter where you go, if you peel back the vinyl, it's nothing but horror, madness, and death.
Well, the blob, when sufficient large, will begin to heat up in the center. Just a few degrees, but that's all that is required. The center of the blob will pull oxygen from the outside and start forming diesel-like hydrocarbons. The outer layers, starved of oxygen, start growing anaerobes (tetanus, gangrene, various sulfur-reducing bugs, etc). Water is, by osmosis, pulled from all sides and deposited directly beneath the fatberg. Here that means it dissolves the caliche beneath it (which is added to the fatberg as white chunks of calcium and sodium), which means it sinks over time. When it reaches bedrock, it stops moving and starts pressurizing. Eventually, the center diesels and you get a pressurized scalding hot geyser of unkillable fatal prehistoric bacteria. (The fatbergs of London don't have the same problem because they are in tunnels and have room on either end to expand.)Part of me is wondering how hard it would be to intentionally grow one of these. You know, FOR SCIENCE.
No matter where you go, if you peel back the vinyl, it's nothing but horror, madness, and death.
But the saner part recalls that plumbing (and garbage collection) are the basis of modern civilization, and that things like this should be reserved for post-apocalyptic fiction, and kept out of the waking world.
I keep hoping a fatberg will eat Parliament one day
*watching Riverdance rehearsal at the theater*
*dancer falls off of stage*
Billy: "Ouch."
Me: "It's a great day to be alive, Billy."
Me: "I have a thing behind the small restaurant. You know, the thing I'm not supposed to talk about."
"I'll get to that right away. First thing. Top priority."
Then continue doing what you're doing.
I love that you gave him the Gas Face.
Billy?
BILLY!
See, everything defaults to MAIN.
I don't know if I should be excited or sorry for him.
I mean, I'm definitely excited for me
Brilliant.
He's Back!
At the risk of sounding like a stupid fanboy, I love you, Howl.
Always nice to see Billy learning.
You're teaching him Consequentialism?
Yikes.
Ah. Right.
I appreciate the explanation. Makes sense.
I love you.
:spittake:
You've created a monster!
Are you suggesting I'm responsible for this? :crankey:
Me: "They called me MAD."
Billy: "..."
Me: "They called me MAD."
Billy: "..."
Can we have context, or would it spoil the party?
A janitor promoted to database admin...?
Well, I suppose both jobs technically involve cleaning up other people's messes, and if he is self-aware enough to say he doesn't know anything about databases, he's already better than 80% of the IT people out there.
I believe that you should promote people who show initiative.
Either they will exceed your wildest expectations, or they will explode violently in the breakdown lane. I win either way.
I believe that you should promote people who show initiative.
Either they will exceed your wildest expectations, or they will explode violently in the breakdown lane. I win either way.
That management strategy sounds like something from the evil overlord list (http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html). I'm starting to get this image of you leaving behind a trail of crushed dreams and nascent supervillains everywhere you go.
...and if he is self-aware enough to say he doesn't know anything about databases, he's already better than 80% of the IT people out there.
The Billy Chronicles would make a great cartoon or something!
I'm all kinds of fucked up over that. I feel greezy reading it.
I'm all kinds of fucked up over that. I feel greezy reading it.
Imagine how *I* feel.
I'm the victim, here.
I'm all kinds of fucked up over that. I feel greezy reading it.
Imagine how *I* feel.
I'm the victim, here.
Not to kink shame
BUT
I'm kink shaming you
F&B: "It won't all be on at the same time."
F&B: "It won't all be on at the same time."
This is like a government saying "we know the provisions in this new law may seem excessively broad, but we promise to only use these powers against the bad guys." You can trust the current government, of course. :| But what if the other team wins the next election?
Measure the draw a month after you upgrade the wire and install the new outlets, and I'll bet even odds they're pushing it past 30A. Five-to-one that within a year they've plugged in something other than what F&B pointed out, and his guarantee has become even more meaningless.
What the hell happened? Another pig detonation?
A difference in opinion over what constitutes financial malfeasance. We were asked to do something improper, we reported it, we were all shit-canned.That is the way with attempted cover-ups. Every action taken just adds to the body of evidence. Firing whistle-blowers en masse is right up there with setting fire to the police station to obliterate the record of your traffic ticket.
I expect this to lead to hilarity.
A difference in opinion over what constitutes financial malfeasance. We were asked to do something improper, we reported it, we were all shit-canned.That is the way with attempted cover-ups. Every action taken just adds to the body of evidence. Firing whistle-blowers en masse is right up there with setting fire to the police station to obliterate the record of your traffic ticket.
I expect this to lead to hilarity.
So, are you going to take a second look at that "worst-job-in-the-world" offer from a week or so ago?
Oh boy. And I remember, it seems so recent, they were concerned about you selling back unused supplies at a profit.
I get the impression you can’t say much, but I cannot help but assume that the fun this will result in is the kind that ends, much like a water hammer in a sewage treatment plant, with a loud bang and a slowly rising mass of steaming, toxic muck.
(Yeah, I’ve been rereading the thread.)
So, the dickhead that fired us just called me 10 minutes ago and asked where he can find the projections on <project>.
:lulz:
"I'll send you a rate card."
So, the dickhead that fired us just called me 10 minutes ago and asked where he can find the projections on <project>.
:lulz:
"I'll send you a rate card."
What a fuckin chode
My rates are very reasonable. $600/hour, minimum 4 hours."Plus mileage and expenses."
My rates are very reasonable. $600/hour, minimum 4 hours."Plus mileage and expenses."
It's amazing how people fail to recognize "what are you gonna do, fire me?" is an actual thing.
On a scale of 1 to criminal, how improper was that decision? Sounds juicy.
Also, drop the rate to reasonable but shove in fees for fucking everything under the sun. $2/step needed to be taken. As in walking step, not any kind of procedural step. $1/word spoken. Any needed goods/services are provided under a 100% markup.
I'm still dealing with constant idiocy. Today, I had to explain why a replacement motor, that is half the size and less than half the power of the previous one is not useful. And makes things like "Safe lifting weights" irrelevant because that was worked out and tested on the old motor. That was larger.
The new one will apparently get better with time. I agreed. As we all know, every machine everywhere just gets better with age. It's why people buy old second hand cars. The reliability and efficiency and all that. When I told them this they were unwilling to accept my conclusions. Someone's 75-80% likely to get hurt with this in the next few days and I'm going to laugh, not fix it and gleefully have a few long meetings with the HSE over it.
The new one will apparently get better with time. I agreed. As we all know, every machine everywhere just gets better with age. It's why people buy old second hand cars.
I'm a little concerned about the extent of my excitement for your career. I look forward to your autobiography. It's more exciting than the backhanded compliments and comments where I work.
Arms manufacturing is a tough one for me. I love the engineering of firearms, they’re like little puzzle boxes, everything shaped and fit together just right. Then there’s the materials component, the ergonomics, weight considerations (for transport and for recoil), tuning of cycle rate, a billion tiny variables, it appeals to the little puzzle solving monkey in me in a deep, deep way.
If you’re talking about big boy toys, missiles are interesting to me from a propellant chemistry standpoint, and artillery is just really really big guns.
And yet my moral and ethical side won’t let me get involved with something I’d find deeply personally rewarding and lucrative to boot. Not a fan of arming pigs, mass shooters or imperialist bastards. Not criticizing, we all need to eat, it just brought this particular conundrum to the front of my mind.
The Freak Crew rides again.
I have managed to lower the bar for morality yet again in the job I just accepted today. Facilities maintenance for a company that builds weapons or something like that. Needs staffing up, so I am looking to hire Billy, Angry Ed from the refinery days, and a couple of HVAC geeks.
Me: "So, are you in?"
Billy: "Fuck yes, I'm in. When you said it was a morally-bankrupt job, I thought you meant it was connected to health insurance or some shit. I can do arms manufacturing and not lose a wink of sleep."
The Freak Crew rides again.
I have managed to lower the bar for morality yet again in the job I just accepted today. Facilities maintenance for a company that builds weapons or something like that. Needs staffing up, so I am looking to hire Billy, Angry Ed from the refinery days, and a couple of HVAC geeks.
Me: "So, are you in?"
Billy: "Fuck yes, I'm in. When you said it was a morally-bankrupt job, I thought you meant it was connected to health insurance or some shit. I can do arms manufacturing and not lose a wink of sleep."
For some reason, when reading this, an old expression came to mind: "It is better to be the right hand of the devil than in his path."
Today, at work, I asked the tooling people to make a widget. They said sure, and spun it out in less than an hour.
Today, at work, I asked the tooling people to make a widget. They said sure, and spun it out in less than an hour.
FOUL WARLOCKS.
Something is rotten as fuck in that dept, I'd guarantee it. Anyone who gets you away and happy quickly is up to shady shit on the QT.
Billy has no eyebrows, Steve shat himself, my two lowest-right ribs are broken, and I need to replace the shed on site 4.
Just another day in Side Effect City.
Billy has no eyebrows, Steve shat himself, my two lowest-right ribs are broken, and I need to replace the shed on site 4.
Just another day in Side Effect City.
I guess you weren't kidding when you said it was the worst job in the world. I'm glad you didn't get killed.
...I hope you at least got some useful experimental data?
Billy has no eyebrows, Steve shat himself, my two lowest-right ribs are broken, and I need to replace the shed on site 4.
Just another day in Side Effect City.
I guess you weren't kidding when you said it was the worst job in the world. I'm glad you didn't get killed.
...I hope you at least got some useful experimental data?
Not really. Aside from "It is important to teach Billy not to ignite aluminum."
Most of the injury stuff happened when all 3 of us tried to squeeze through a regular sized door all at once. Heroes, one and all.
Steve is very small, though, and I think he shat himself when we stepped on him in the scrum...But he's no wimp, and has not blamed us. I am in fact blaming Billy, though, because my fucking ribs HURT.
Billy has no eyebrows, Steve shat himself, my two lowest-right ribs are broken, and I need to replace the shed on site 4.
Just another day in Side Effect City.
I guess you weren't kidding when you said it was the worst job in the world. I'm glad you didn't get killed.
...I hope you at least got some useful experimental data?
Not really. Aside from "It is important to teach Billy not to ignite aluminum."
Most of the injury stuff happened when all 3 of us tried to squeeze through a regular sized door all at once. Heroes, one and all.
Steve is very small, though, and I think he shat himself when we stepped on him in the scrum...But he's no wimp, and has not blamed us. I am in fact blaming Billy, though, because my fucking ribs HURT.
How old are these two?
Would they even know who Moe, Larry and Curly were?
Tell us more about this altitude chamber. That sounds like all kinds of possible fun.
Today at work:
1. It turns out silent propellant isn't really silent.
2. "Capture" pistols do not work as advertised.
3. Carbon firearms set off no metal detectors.
Today at work:
1. It turns out silent propellant isn't really silent.
2. "Capture" pistols do not work as advertised.
3. Carbon firearms set off no metal detectors.
Can't tell if this is bad day or best day.
3. Carbon firearms set off no metal detectors.Don't you worry, carbon detector will be viable after everyone important switches to a metal body!
3. Carbon firearms set off no metal detectors.Don't you worry, carbon detector will be viable after everyone important switches to a metal body!
This, however, causes some interesting brittleness issues that are maybe not the best thing for firearms in general. It's like a 30 Years War musket that can't be detected.
Is the likelihood of a misfire any higher than a normal firearm?
I can still see a lot of use for a single, reliable shot that no-one can see coming...
Today, my boss announced that I am a wizard, because I can read a set of utility bills and eliminate redundancies. Like $30K of redundancies.
But I have 4 hangnails. Would a wizard have 4 hangnails?
Today, my boss announced that I am a wizard, because I can read a set of utility bills and eliminate redundancies. Like $30K of redundancies.
But I have 4 hangnails. Would a wizard have 4 hangnails?
Saving 30k on utilities in a single month??? Thats like enough to start a bitcoin farm.
You’re living the dream, Howl. I can’t wait to see what happens next.
Google saves every single one of them for me. I knew what CNO was missing about that crossbow, and I’ve never read a Pratchett book (Good Omens excepted). They just aren’t my thing.
Never apologize, explain or bring it up again.
Standard operating procedure for progress.
And detritus was the troll folks. I suspect a lot of prachett jokes have been utterly wasted on some of you.
Never apologize, explain or bring it up again.
Standard operating procedure for progress.
And detritus was the troll folks. I suspect a lot of prachett jokes have been utterly wasted on some of you.
It's the crossbow thing, really. :lol:
Great big bastard. Trying to double the fastest existing crossbow.
Never apologize, explain or bring it up again.
Standard operating procedure for progress.
And detritus was the troll folks. I suspect a lot of prachett jokes have been utterly wasted on some of you.
It's the crossbow thing, really. :lol:
Great big bastard. Trying to double the fastest existing crossbow.
Has anyone gotten past Mach 1 with a crossbow, yet?
Today I fixed the robot of DOOM. This is a machine everyone is afraid of, because it's computer driven and uses a weird (ie, non-Allen Bradley) controller.
So I spent a week dicking with the software on a laptop, reading the prints...and, you know, trying to understand how the machine is supposed to work. It was designed by a human, it can be repaired by a human.
So I dive in and fix it in about 20 minutes. Then spend an hour testing to make sure it's right. Then my boss comes out and asks me when I'm going to start.
Me: "Already done."
Boss: "You're a WIZARD."
Emmie (the tiny lady that runs that department) "He's a NERRRRRRRRRRD!"
I bet Gandalf never got treated like this.
Emmie (the tiny lady that runs that department) "He's a NERRRRRRRRRRD!"
I bet Gandalf never got treated like this.
Also today:
Me: *calls X corporation*
Lady: "Can I help you?"
Me: "Inside sales, please."
Lady: "I'm sorry, they're all in a sales improvement meeting."
Me: "Can you see the flaw in this, or is it just me?"
Lady: "This is my life."
Also today:
Me: *calls X corporation*
Lady: "Can I help you?"
Me: "Inside sales, please."
Lady: "I'm sorry, they're all in a sales improvement meeting."
Me: "Can you see the flaw in this, or is it just me?"
Lady: "This is my life."
This is why I hate salespeople. They’re insane by nature, insane to survive, or insane by company policy.
They never have their head screwed on straight. Their priorities are always damaged. There should be a factory recall.
It’s an epidemic.
I had always thought that I’d end up a whiner in the workplace. Turns out I’m the frighteningly efficient member of a team lagging way behind in the metrics. Who’d’ve thunk it?
Aaah, the freshly graduated. So bright eyed, so upset when things don't quite work the way they were told.
Sure, he's adorable now. But unless he's incompetent, or very, very lucky, in a few short years he'll learn the Horrible Truth, that science exceeded the comprehension of meat-based monkey brains in the late 1940's, and modern technology is a house of cards that is one squirrel fart away from catastrophic collapse.
Then the metamorphosis will occur.
He might become a Project Manager, or System Architect, who deals with High Level Design, and leaves the messy details of physics and manufacturing tolerances to the grunts on the front line. "How long is it going to take for you to get it working?"
Or he might delude himself that there is an area about which it is possible to know everything, and become a Specialist, mocking derisively anyone who encroaches on his domain, and dismissing all other fields as irrelevant, or trivial. "That's a software problem. Not my department." If his expertise develops enough, he may even begin to believe it applies to all fields, not just his specialization.
Or he could become one of the Accursed, the Proselytes to the Machine God, who cannot look away or close their eyes to the horrors of reality, who aspire to universal specialization, who are often paralyzed into inaction by seeing all the possible ways the system can fail, and, on rare occasions, actually get something done. "Did you check the cables? Did you check the cables again?"
What kind of two legged animal uses imperial measurements for science?
**Does the sign of the cross**
I love that meeting. You have found your home, I think.
Billy: *thumbs cell phone, "Uptown Girl" plays*
*Hamish, Emmy, and Billy dance towards door*
Baby Engineer: "Fuck it." *dances out behind us*
The main sign to me is that you have a pack of people as willing to flaunt their horrible things in public as you are. You got three people to dance out that door with you and only one was Billy. That’s only a good sign or the beginning of the apocalypse. (No, Trump doesn’t count towards apocalypse, he lacks the vision.)
The main sign to me is that you have a pack of people as willing to flaunt their horrible things in public as you are. You got three people to dance out that door with you and only one was Billy. That’s only a good sign or the beginning of the apocalypse. (No, Trump doesn’t count towards apocalypse, he lacks the vision.)
Dancing at work is a sign of a productive staff.
How the fuck does anyone pull off a skinny Churchill? I say you hang onto him just on the strength of that alone. I don't mean on the payroll, I mean like a pet or a mascot.All I can imagine of churchill without the fat is a talking hat smoking a cigar
The new guy is working out. It occurs to me that all of the ones that DO work out have beards. English Paul did not have a beard and looked like a skinny Winston Churchill; he was doomed to failure.
The new guy is working out. It occurs to me that all of the ones that DO work out have beards. English Paul did not have a beard and looked like a skinny Winston Churchill; he was doomed to failure.
If he's bald, mechanical related and around 6ft, sing "journey" at him. If he joins in on the second line I may know the bastard. It's unlikely enough to be possible in the new horrible times.
ETA - if the above is true ask him about the Halloween he was dressed as Satan and got attacked by (real) nurses when he tried to haul my drunk corpse home.
I’m surprised you didn’t make him sort the carbon media with chopsticks, given that description.
Issue him a two-by-four and a hacksaw. He can make his own chopsticks.I’m surprised you didn’t make him sort the carbon media with chopsticks, given that description.
There is no line item for chopsticks, or I might have.
Baby Engineer makes things that WORK. He just doesn't think 3 steps ahead yet, because he is young, and the young are weak.
Whereas I can survive for a week on an unwary pigeon.
No, Howl has a live studio audience.
What else would you look like as a part of a ghoulish horde doomed to follow the saint of bad science to the pits of Tucson? So you can laugh for him, even.
No, Howl has a live studio audience.
And they all look like this.
:fishhook:
All the time :eek:
“We don’t make the apocalypse, we make the apocalypse better.” Is going in the newsfeed, right? Right???
Me: "You can stab your enemies from 700 miles away."
Me: "You can stab your enemies from 700 miles away."
I don't know what you're selling, but I want one.
How can you be an IDEALIST in ARMS MANUFACTURING? Doug cannot last as he is, he will die or be transformed, Tetsuo The Iron Man style. It’s just the facts.
How can you be an IDEALIST in ARMS MANUFACTURING? Doug cannot last as he is, he will die or be transformed, Tetsuo The Iron Man style. It’s just the facts.
I am an idealist.
It's just that my ideals are bad.
your job is always an adventure, isn't it? :lulz:
Billy said my new favorite phrase. You’ve made fine monsters.
No man who can enjoy a horse can be a friend of mine.
No man who can enjoy a horse can be a friend of mine.
If I'm not on your Nemesis list yet, put me on there now.
Never mind, I take all the good things about Billy back.
No man who can enjoy a horse can be a friend of mine.
Also, :lulz: at the boss’s parting words. “I’ll show those fuckers normal” is extremely on brand for you.
No man who can enjoy a horse can be a friend of mine.
If I'm not on your Nemesis list yet, put me on there now.
When inevitably we meet, since I live and work in the Boston area, we shall do battle.
No man who can enjoy a horse can be a friend of mine.
If I'm not on your Nemesis list yet, put me on there now.
When inevitably we meet, since I live and work in the Boston area, we shall do battle.
Boss: "Product dropped and we have only 600 units back ordered. I don't know whether to give the production department a raise or have the sales department shot."Have the production department shoot the sales department. It will be good for morale, and will save the expense of a pay raise.
Boss: "Product dropped and we have only 600 units back ordered. I don't know whether to give the production department a raise or have the sales department shot."Have the production department shoot the sales department. It will be good for morale, and will save the expense of a pay raise.
Oh my god.
If they give you a placard I DEMAND PICTURES.
Oh my god.
If they give you a placard I DEMAND PICTURES.
I guess Monday is the day I highjack the laser engraver.
Oh my god.
If they give you a placard I DEMAND PICTURES.
I guess Monday is the day I highjack the laser engraver.
Do eet. Fucking do it. It should read "Head Wizard". Somewhere, Dumbledore is turning over in his grave, they weren't supposed to just turn Hogwarts over to the dark lord.
Now you guys just need to actually start growing food, install a bunker and a confederate flag, and you're all set to fight the Chinese/Russian invasion, lead the resistance against the deep state takeover or win the con/lib civil war :lulz:
So, it looks like we will be sharing the grounds with a growery. Because nothing makes more sense than hostile technology on one end of the facility and hippies on the other. And given that we don't boot people for pot on drug screens, this pretty much assures that the people advancing the surveillance society will be all fucked up on drugs. Which is as it should be.
This is truly the best of all possible timelines.
I can top that, for once.
Me: [Outsourced CS company] can be trusted only to ensure we keep our jobs. Nowhere else will you find people whose idea of customer service is to fucking cancel an order a customer asked to expedite.
Coworker: We should launch them into the damn sun.
Me: ARE YOU CRAZY
[blank stares]
Me: THE SUN WOULD GO OUT! They’re not fit for fuel!
Holy fucking hell.
That’s the kind of day that you normally have to pay for.
I have to know what the fuck you did to that deadblow hammer. HAVE to. The People demand it.
:lulz:
That doesn’t look like “deadblowed a little too hard” so much as “fed into a wood chipper at high velocity”. But then it was Doktor Hamish Howl wielding it, so that’s basically correct.
What the fuck were you beating that hard? Legitimately curious. I can’t imagine anything for which a deadblow hammer is the correct tool that needs THAT much force.
If I could do it from Boston and get paid more than 15 dollars an hour I’d be all in. Unfortunately, the masters degree and lifetime experience makes me ineligible by default, because I’m a high school dropout who scares Harvard Professors with the amount of shit I know, and I have never done a lick of the Good Stuff for anything but my own amusement.
:lulz: :lulz:
I don’t even know what to say, this will end wonderfully for everyone on the east coast. Tucson is COMING FOR US
Chemists are weird though. He'll probably take to it just fine, if not obsessively.
That is an interesting approach.
Benefits: If you want to see him turn colors and start smoking like a tire fire, you can always ask him every few months if he knows anyone who knows anything about chemistry, then say “Never mind” if he volunteers himself.
What Norton doesn't yet understand is that I didn't need a chemist, I needed an electronics/coding guy. Which Norton just became, though he won't know this until sometime after Christmas. I prefer to think of this as Induced Dunning Kruger. Because he is an expert on chemistry, I will treat him as an expert in servo drives. I am and will remain deaf to any pleas of ignorance and/or inexperience.
What Norton doesn't yet understand is that I didn't need a chemist, I needed an electronics/coding guy. Which Norton just became, though he won't know this until sometime after Christmas. I prefer to think of this as Induced Dunning Kruger. Because he is an expert on chemistry, I will treat him as an expert in servo drives. I am and will remain deaf to any pleas of ignorance and/or inexperience.
Electricity comes from batteries. Batteries are chemical. Therefore, all electrical processes can be reduced to chemical equivalents. Or something.
But seriously, if Norton is a reasonably bright B.Sc, I'm sure he'll be fine. A basic grounding in a physical science tends to be transferable to all sort of fields. Holders of advanced degrees are harder to predict. With a PhD you could get a rock star, or you could get a prima donna who refuses to get their hands dirty.
Norton: "Be the reason the aliens don't know what ever happened to us."Yup, he'll do.
Norton knows just enough about the world he’s joined.
I’m in the opposite situation: a massive collection of morons trying to hold back a tide of even greater stupid before it crushes us flat.
I have been putting together an exit strategy. Next year it will be yet another piece of roadkill on the side of the smart home IoT road of failure.
These laws are based on my observation of the woobie that is buying our facility for the purpose of growing pot. She is in way over her head, the sharks are circling, and she is just now beginning to look worried. It's far too late for that.Everybody wants to get in on the ground floor, but hardly anyone bothers to check the elevator inspection certificate.
These laws are based on my observation of the woobie that is buying our facility for the purpose of growing pot. She is in way over her head, the sharks are circling, and she is just now beginning to look worried. It's far too late for that.Everybody wants to get in on the ground floor, but hardly anyone bothers to check the elevator inspection certificate.
Or the "recalibration-due-by" date on the gas pump, for that matter.
When he gets more clout he can go back to not being an engineer
If your monitor is facing your door, you are a pleb. If your monitor is perpendicular to your door, you are somewhere in the middle. If your monitor faces directly away from your door, you are the general manager.
If your monitor is facing your door, you are a pleb. If your monitor is perpendicular to your door, you are somewhere in the middle. If your monitor faces directly away from your door, you are the general manager.
Fact.
The big fish can fuck off online openly, while the little fish must be stealthy.
There's people at my job who dropped $400 on smartwatches just to get fucked up internet.
If your monitor is facing your door, you are a pleb. If your monitor is perpendicular to your door, you are somewhere in the middle. If your monitor faces directly away from your door, you are the general manager.
Fact.
The big fish can fuck off online openly, while the little fish must be stealthy.
There's people at my job who dropped $400 on smartwatches just to get fucked up internet.
My job will compensate us up to $300 per year for "Fitness equipment" if we take the health assessment (blood test and questionaire(I lied about my mental health, tee hee)) and apparently "fitness equipment" includes an apple i-watch since it includes a heart-rate monitor, so it's basically a $300 fitbit, with internets.
My dumb ass bought a $400 home gym, and now I have to get rid of my couch to make room for it.
If your monitor is facing your door, you are a pleb. If your monitor is perpendicular to your door, you are somewhere in the middle. If your monitor faces directly away from your door, you are the general manager.
Fact.
The big fish can fuck off online openly, while the little fish must be stealthy.
There's people at my job who dropped $400 on smartwatches just to get fucked up internet.
My job will compensate us up to $300 per year for "Fitness equipment" if we take the health assessment (blood test and questionaire(I lied about my mental health, tee hee)) and apparently "fitness equipment" includes an apple i-watch since it includes a heart-rate monitor, so it's basically a $300 fitbit, with internets.
My dumb ass bought a $400 home gym, and now I have to get rid of my couch to make room for it.
Or you could just flip the home gym. With decent benefits like that, I'm guessing they'd pay for a membership somewhere?
Hey, where is Dok?
Thoughts?
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
I'd agree with all of that. There was nothing too egregiously bad in it (putting aside the first 10 minutes), and the bits that are are definitely no worse than any other Trek. Once the main outline of the season story becomes clearer, it gets noticeably better, too.
And I think you'll really dig season 2, once you get to it. No spoilers, but Anson Mount was pretty much perfect in his role.
So if you're wondering where your share of the fun went, now you know. You can hate Norton, too.:argh!:
It occurs to me that I need to offer Dok my condolences.
Whether through misfortune or through insufficient forward thinking, he has doubtlessly improved the lives of dozens of primates at the very least. In the most extreme case, he might have fundamentally changed life for the better for all these stinking apes, however unlikely that may be.
While this has happened in the past, such as when he introduced recreational cannibalism to popular culture, this is not a case of unintended consequences or public misinterpretation. No, Hamish has no one to blame but himself for helping improve the lives of definitely some hairless monkeys. There is no one else to blame.
So I would just like to say: I’m sorry, and it will get worse again soon. It ALWAYS does. Promise.
(Also, NICE. This is awesome. Congrats!)
It occurs to me that I need to offer Dok my condolences.
Whether through misfortune or through insufficient forward thinking, he has doubtlessly improved the lives of dozens of primates at the very least. In the most extreme case, he might have fundamentally changed life for the better for all these stinking apes, however unlikely that may be.
While this has happened in the past, such as when he introduced recreational cannibalism to popular culture, this is not a case of unintended consequences or public misinterpretation. No, Hamish has no one to blame but himself for helping improve the lives of definitely some hairless monkeys. There is no one else to blame.
So I would just like to say: I’m sorry, and it will get worse again soon. It ALWAYS does. Promise.
(Also, NICE. This is awesome. Congrats!)
It will actually help drive lots of things. Maybe even quality of life. Maybe. But it moves me closer to MY goal in the process.
It occurs to me that I need to offer Dok my condolences.
Whether through misfortune or through insufficient forward thinking, he has doubtlessly improved the lives of dozens of primates at the very least. In the most extreme case, he might have fundamentally changed life for the better for all these stinking apes, however unlikely that may be.
While this has happened in the past, such as when he introduced recreational cannibalism to popular culture, this is not a case of unintended consequences or public misinterpretation. No, Hamish has no one to blame but himself for helping improve the lives of definitely some hairless monkeys. There is no one else to blame.
So I would just like to say: I’m sorry, and it will get worse again soon. It ALWAYS does. Promise.
(Also, NICE. This is awesome. Congrats!)
It will actually help drive lots of things. Maybe even quality of life. Maybe. But it moves me closer to MY goal in the process.
I have hair.
I still want my recreational cannibalism, DAMNIT.
The PLC is probably right, Maine is supposed to be lovely this time of year
So, programming a new controller that we haven't used before.Hunt down whoever is responsible for that useless error message and punch them continuously until they fix it.
One of the parameters wasn't right and it displayed:
Error 009; default to main?
As God is my witness, I have no idea what I should do.
So, programming a new controller that we haven't used before.Hunt down whoever is responsible for that useless error message and punch them continuously until they fix it.
One of the parameters wasn't right and it displayed:
Error 009; default to main?
As God is my witness, I have no idea what I should do.
Keep punching them for a while after they've fixed it, too, as a matter of general principle.
So, programming a new controller that we haven't used before.Hunt down whoever is responsible for that useless error message and punch them continuously until they fix it.
One of the parameters wasn't right and it displayed:
Error 009; default to main?
As God is my witness, I have no idea what I should do.
Keep punching them for a while after they've fixed it, too, as a matter of general principle.
One does not hunt down Hirley0
So, programming a new controller that we haven't used before.Hunt down whoever is responsible for that useless error message and punch them continuously until they fix it.
One of the parameters wasn't right and it displayed:
Error 009; default to main?
As God is my witness, I have no idea what I should do.
Keep punching them for a while after they've fixed it, too, as a matter of general principle.
One does not hunt down Hirley0
You can only seek without finding Hirley0, or find Hirley0 without seeking. Which may mean Hirley0 is the essence of the Tao or some shit, IDK.
But on that note...
So, programming a new controller that we haven't used before.Hunt down whoever is responsible for that useless error message and punch them continuously until they fix it.
One of the parameters wasn't right and it displayed:
Error 009; default to main?
As God is my witness, I have no idea what I should do.
Keep punching them for a while after they've fixed it, too, as a matter of general principle.
One does not hunt down Hirley0
You can only seek without finding Hirley0, or find Hirley0 without seeking. Which may mean Hirley0 is the essence of the Tao or some shit, IDK.
But on that note...
The mystery was always staring us in the face. His name wasn't Hirley1 for a reason.
0 is a rational, whole, integer and real number. Some definitions include it as a natural number and some don't (starting at 1 instead).Jun 28, 2015
0 as a rational number kind of makes my brain hurt, since you can't divide by zero and ratios are division. I mean, you can, but the resulting number is not rational, real, or even complex or imaginary.
0 as a rational number kind of makes my brain hurt, since you can't divide by zero and ratios are division.
0 as a rational number kind of makes my brain hurt, since you can't divide by zero and ratios are division.
Yes you can.
0 as a rational number kind of makes my brain hurt, since you can't divide by zero and ratios are division.
Yes you can.
You're just gonna go giving the secrets away, aren't you?
0 as a rational number kind of makes my brain hurt, since you can't divide by zero and ratios are division.
Yes you can.
My favorite part of the Scientific Method is "if any doubt remains, proceed at full speed and see what's on the other side"
That is horrifying, and makes me wonder how many other companies are doing the same
That is horrifying, and makes me wonder how many other companies are doing the same
What's odd is that when I was working for the oil company, they never played games like this, and they were moving literally billions of Euro around every month.
That is horrifying, and makes me wonder how many other companies are doing the same
What's odd is that when I was working for the oil company, they never played games like this, and they were moving literally billions of Euro around every month.
It's hard to say in the context of capitalism, but perhaps because the paperwork would be too much of a hassle to turn a profit for them when they're making so much already?
Did Norton not know what he was walking into? You can't work for a weapons manufacturer and be moral.
Norton: "And you guys think by alternating, you can balance the ledger out?"Norton seems to be suffering from a misconception.
Norton: "And you guys think by alternating, you can balance the ledger out?"Norton seems to be suffering from a misconception.
Good and evil don't cancel each other out, they're independently cumulative. If you "accidentally" spill a cup of salt into the soup, you can't take it out again, even by adding a cup of sugar.
So I guess maybe there IS something wrong with me. I'm a misanthrope that would make Goddamn AGENT SMITH come across as a mamby-pamby bleeding heart hippie son of a bitch.
Did he get a little wild eyed?
QuoteSo I guess maybe there IS something wrong with me. I'm a misanthrope that would make Goddamn AGENT SMITH come across as a mamby-pamby bleeding heart hippie son of a bitch.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
I know you're dead serious about this, but you have given me joy here.
If he tries to cite any of that in a social move against you you must of course deny any accurate recollection, you've had a case of the brain flukes after all(if it gets litigious you're LITERALLY telling the truth hete and can back it up with certified medical records if forced to allow limited release of your proprietary information, won't that be a pleasant surprise) and immediately accuse him by implication of trying to misportray your words. If asked to say what you think you may have meant from there the sky's the limit. It's the flukes that make you do it.
Remember the gluestick. This is like a magic gluestick.
I'm...
I'm almost
Afraid to tap
Post
So, is Norton not going to make it? It sounds like he's beginning to crack under the strain.Did he get a little wild eyed?
He seemed a little startled. :lol:
QuoteSo I guess maybe there IS something wrong with me. I'm a misanthrope that would make Goddamn AGENT SMITH come across as a mamby-pamby bleeding heart hippie son of a bitch.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
I know you're dead serious about this, but you have given me joy here.
If he tries to cite any of that in a social move against you you must of course deny any accurate recollection, you've had a case of the brain flukes after all(if it gets litigious you're LITERALLY telling the truth hete and can back it up with certified medical records if forced to allow limited release of your proprietary information, won't that be a pleasant surprise) and immediately accuse him by implication of trying to misportray your words. If asked to say what you think you may have meant from there the sky's the limit. It's the flukes that make you do it.
Remember the gluestick. This is like a magic gluestick.
I'm...
I'm almost
Afraid to tap
Post
At what point do you think my bosses would frown on that sort of insanity? :lol:
So, is Norton not going to make it? It sounds like he's beginning to crack under the strain.Did he get a little wild eyed?
He seemed a little startled. :lol:
"No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality."
The thing is, it works. It really does. Washing your hands on a regular basis can cut infection rates by up to 70%.
The thing is, it works. It really does. Washing your hands on a regular basis can cut infection rates by up to 70%.
That's good news for me. Most everybody I work with goes to the bathroom for 10+ minutes 3-4 times a day just to check their facebook, and, of course, have to wash their hands afterwards for realism.
The thing is, it works. It really does. Washing your hands on a regular basis can cut infection rates by up to 70%.
That's good news for me. Most everybody I work with goes to the bathroom for 10+ minutes 3-4 times a day just to check their facebook, and, of course, have to wash their hands afterwards for realism.
Okay, so that's 30 minutes of lost production in exchange for not having the flu or this weird ass shit rip through your workplace.
I fail to see how managers get upset about this.
The thing is, it works. It really does. Washing your hands on a regular basis can cut infection rates by up to 70%.
That's good news for me. Most everybody I work with goes to the bathroom for 10+ minutes 3-4 times a day just to check their facebook, and, of course, have to wash their hands afterwards for realism.
Okay, so that's 30 minutes of lost production in exchange for not having the flu or this weird ass shit rip through your workplace.
I fail to see how managers get upset about this.
Many managers lack foresight, unfortunately.
Yeah. I should be grateful that petty tyrants tend to be... Predictable in lashing out and suppression of dissent. That predictability has helped me immensely in certain recent projects. It's very unpleasant to be subjected to though. I fucking refuse to be, but know when I have an advantage in seeming to.The thing is, it works. It really does. Washing your hands on a regular basis can cut infection rates by up to 70%.
That's good news for me. Most everybody I work with goes to the bathroom for 10+ minutes 3-4 times a day just to check their facebook, and, of course, have to wash their hands afterwards for realism.
Okay, so that's 30 minutes of lost production in exchange for not having the flu or this weird ass shit rip through your workplace.
I fail to see how managers get upset about this.
Many managers lack foresight, unfortunately.
It's not even that. It's petty authority.
The thing is, it works. It really does. Washing your hands on a regular basis can cut infection rates by up to 70%.
That's good news for me. Most everybody I work with goes to the bathroom for 10+ minutes 3-4 times a day just to check their facebook, and, of course, have to wash their hands afterwards for realism.
Okay, so that's 30 minutes of lost production in exchange for not having the flu or this weird ass shit rip through your workplace.
I fail to see how managers get upset about this.
That is glorious.
It’s a keeper, I say. Frame it. Enlarge it in Paint. Print out a thousand pages that are meant to be taped together to make a billboard sized version of it. Mix up just enough pages to make it noticeable. Hang it off of an office building before security notices.
It’s a keeper, I say. Frame it. Enlarge it in Paint. Print out a thousand pages that are meant to be taped together to make a billboard sized version of it. Mix up just enough pages to make it noticeable. Hang it off of an office building before security notices.
I shall not suffer alone.
Will he ever learn?
I have gained two more research monkeys, Kyle and Cassie. Kyle is me with less horrible (he's young). It's actually kinda creepy how much he reminds me of me.
Cassie is a hillbilly from some godforsaken state, but she's smart as hell. Only when she walks in the room all the young guys get dumb as hell. Thank God I'm ancient and vile and cannot be swayed by that sort of shit anymore. Cassie has also apparently wrecked 3 cars in 5 months, so she is excused from driving me to meetings across town.
Besides, I like having Norton drive, because he flinches when I say fucked up shit, and that can make things interesting on the on-ramp. Neither Kyle nor Cassie seem to have any sort of flinch reaction at all, and regularly say worse shit than I say.
At some point, I went from being "the crazy bastard in the North annex" to "running a lab" which frankly I never saw coming.
My bosses are all hiding at home from the plague. I have a mob of research assistants and a shit ton of funding.
Don't you wish you were me?
I have gained two more research monkeys, Kyle and Cassie. Kyle is me with less horrible (he's young). It's actually kinda creepy how much he reminds me of me.
Cassie is a hillbilly from some godforsaken state, but she's smart as hell. Only when she walks in the room all the young guys get dumb as hell. Thank God I'm ancient and vile and cannot be swayed by that sort of shit anymore. Cassie has also apparently wrecked 3 cars in 5 months, so she is excused from driving me to meetings across town.
Besides, I like having Norton drive, because he flinches when I say fucked up shit, and that can make things interesting on the on-ramp. Neither Kyle nor Cassie seem to have any sort of flinch reaction at all, and regularly say worse shit than I say.
At some point, I went from being "the crazy bastard in the North annex" to "running a lab" which frankly I never saw coming.
My bosses are all hiding at home from the plague. I have a mob of research assistants and a shit ton of funding.
Don't you wish you were me?
AND NORTON IS DRIVING CAR.
how come we're working and the non-essential people are staying at home and still getting paid?
Quotehow come we're working and the non-essential people are staying at home and still getting paid?
It sounds like Norton isn't down with capitalism.
In the effort to improve social distancing, we have replaced handshakes with rude gestures and a hearty "FUCK YOU" from down the hall.:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: Now that's a healthy response to a shit situation.
Semaphore and howling.
You can communicate intensity by volume, and mood by pitch. Plus you don’t need to risk people walking into each other around corners if they’re howling like dying animals the entire time they wander around.
If visitors aren’t concerned about animal cruelty then it isn’t loud enough.
Sometimes the spam bots use keywords to find target forums: we just had one trying to peddle ISO90001, this thread has gotten us associated with tags like "engineering", "science" and "questionable ethics"
Kyle *walks in*: Why didn't you just cut a hole in the side of the bison, shove the heater in, and then close it up?"Yes, that's exactly what I would ask. It's definitely more important than why we are trying to heat the bison from the inside to begin with.
Kyle *walks in*: Why didn't you just cut a hole in the side of the bison, shove the heater in, and then close it up?"Yes, that's exactly what I would ask. It's definitely more important than why we are trying to heat the bison from the inside to begin with.
...so, are we trying to teach the heat-seeking drone swarm to kill large ruminants, or not to kill them?
I thought about building something like that once. I've played with SimpleCV for Python controlling stepper motors, and I don't think it would be too difficult to put together a "shoot anything that moves" or even a "shoot anything orange that moves" program, and train it to shoot clay targets.
But then I decided that anything involving having any non-human actuator pulling a trigger would be at least one felony, so I decided to stop thinking about it.
I thought about building something like that once. I've played with SimpleCV for Python controlling stepper motors, and I don't think it would be too difficult to put together a "shoot anything that moves" or even a "shoot anything orange that moves" program, and train it to shoot clay targets.
But then I decided that anything involving having any non-human actuator pulling a trigger would be at least one felony, so I decided to stop thinking about it.
Anything that moves is easy.
That one thing moving that looks like those other things moving, that's hard.
I thought about building something like that once. I've played with SimpleCV for Python controlling stepper motors, and I don't think it would be too difficult to put together a "shoot anything that moves" or even a "shoot anything orange that moves" program, and train it to shoot clay targets.
But then I decided that anything involving having any non-human actuator pulling a trigger would be at least one felony, so I decided to stop thinking about it.
Anything that moves is easy.
That one thing moving that looks like those other things moving, that's hard.
Yeah, that thing you're working on is orders of magnitude more sophisticated than the thing I gave up on after thinking about it for 30 minutes.
The SimpleCV project I was working on was a smartphone testing robot made from salvaged parts from an old scanner and a printer. Mechanically it worked well enough, but the CV part was unstable. I would give it a sample image to find in the webcam image, and it either couldn't find it, or would find it, but it also found several more instances of that image that were not in any way there. After some tweaking, I could get it to just find the one that was there, I'd move on to the next step, and by the time I had that code ready to test, the last thing had stopped working again for some reason. Only thing I could think of that could be causing that was the webcam driver trying too hard to make the image visually pleasing to human eyes, adjusting color balance, focus, contrast... all that jazz.
It could dial the fuck outa that phone, tho. DOOT! DOOT! DOOT! DOOT! DOOT!
Wouldn't the pragmatic approach be giving your soldiers beacons saying "don't kill me", and shooting everything else that moves.
Wouldn't the pragmatic approach be giving your soldiers beacons saying "don't kill me", and shooting everything else that moves.
until an enemy manages to emulate, hijack, or suppress the beacon.
I thought about building something like that once. I've played with SimpleCV for Python controlling stepper motors, and I don't think it would be too difficult to put together a "shoot anything that moves" or even a "shoot anything orange that moves" program, and train it to shoot clay targets.
But then I decided that anything involving having any non-human actuator pulling a trigger would be at least one felony, so I decided to stop thinking about it.
Anything that moves is easy.
That one thing moving that looks like those other things moving, that's hard.
Yeah, that thing you're working on is orders of magnitude more sophisticated than the thing I gave up on after thinking about it for 30 minutes.
The SimpleCV project I was working on was a smartphone testing robot made from salvaged parts from an old scanner and a printer. Mechanically it worked well enough, but the CV part was unstable. I would give it a sample image to find in the webcam image, and it either couldn't find it, or would find it, but it also found several more instances of that image that were not in any way there. After some tweaking, I could get it to just find the one that was there, I'd move on to the next step, and by the time I had that code ready to test, the last thing had stopped working again for some reason. Only thing I could think of that could be causing that was the webcam driver trying too hard to make the image visually pleasing to human eyes, adjusting color balance, focus, contrast... all that jazz.
It could dial the fuck outa that phone, tho. DOOT! DOOT! DOOT! DOOT! DOOT!
With open CV for that we used K-Means Clustering to track the object in the shot and would need a few reads to come back positive and a learning system for person detection. We had an advantage though, we were tracking firefighters through burning buildings so they were all dressed in very similar gear making the learning easier. There are some standard libs now for person detection using things like proportions of the body as criteria and face detection but I haven't tried those. That was a fun project.
Wouldn't the pragmatic approach be giving your soldiers beacons saying "don't kill me", and shooting everything else that moves.
Today I spent the day in the carbon cave. Among other things, I blasted the entire discography of NWA, as I have never listened to all of it before.
They had some really interesting and important things to say, but then I realized they weren't talking to *me*.
I want to talk to the manager of Compton.
I spent most of my day reading, ALL of this.
What a ride! Thank you.
"This is all normal."
What is also all normal is that today I found out, with multiple witnesses, that Kyle has been sexually harassing our janitor.
Kyle has decided to pursue other opportunities.
What is also all normal is that today I found out, with multiple witnesses, that Kyle has been sexually harassing our janitor.
Kyle has decided to pursue other opportunities.
Was his decision “aided” by anyone else or did he make it of his own free will? Just curious.
Having gone, is he open to any sort of civil proceedings? This seems like a teachable moment.
What is also all normal is that today I found out, with multiple witnesses, that Kyle has been sexually harassing our janitor.
Kyle has decided to pursue other opportunities.
It IS all normal.
At least you get your money for nothing and your chicks for free though, right?
My job might be moving to Wyoming.
This is bullshit. Wyoming is cold as fuck, and there's fuck all to do.
My job might be moving to Wyoming.
This is bullshit. Wyoming is cold as fuck, and there's fuck all to do.
I hear you can farm llamas pretty easy out there, maybe you could convince Norton your team needs a mascot
Let’s be honest here, the main difference between Nebraska and Wyoming is that Nebraska has the color green
You can't even flee to Canada. You have to go across Montana first :(
Well, that was more fire damage than I expected.
Well, that was more fire damage than I expected.
How much were you expecting?
Did it burn a hole in anything or anyone irreplaceable?
Well, that was more fire damage than I expected.
How much were you expecting?
Well, that was more fire damage than I expected.
How much were you expecting?
I'm choosing to believe that the fire was only, in fact, put out just now.
Also, the dip tank was left full and we had to pour 6 gallons of bleach into it to get rid of the stink. You could have cut the water with a knife.
Norton is no Oppenheimer.
And you’re more on the order of a mad scientist supervillain dwelling in a lab built in Houska Castle than you are a Leslie Groves, so, you know, different circumstances all around.
Everyone in the lab are now NOT in the lab, because all 18 of my direct coworkers are either confirmed to have the plague, or are waiting on test results.
And I alone hath survived to tell thee.
You do Yellowstone, I’ll go for the Siberian Traps.
Beirut wasn't me, guys.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93tV6-0Ugwk
It does, doesn’t it?
But let’s not kid ourselves. Someone who did Beirut would not be so obvious about it. Also, if they did Beirut they could do us, so it doesn’t really bear thinking about, right?
I choose to loudly trust the good Doktor on this topic, as he has NEVER steered us wrong, unless it was for our own good.
I would consider these points, but you have forgotten the simple fact that a mad scientist who could do Beirut could do us as well. Best to just leave these things lie, don’t you think?
I mean, at that point you're literally, by DEFINITION, asking for it.
I hope SOMEONE had the guts to tell him so, too.
5. Spend some time in Europe as a civilian. (2008-2011)
5. Spend some time in Europe as a civilian. (2008-2011)
Holy shit Dok, you're also a vet‽ How did I not pick up on this? I got out in 2015.
I like Amanda and John.
Me: "Do you have any experience working in a horrible corporate environment where your dreams are crushed just because?"
Amanda: "My last job was programming for Oracle."
Me: "Do you have any experience working in a horrible corporate environment where your dreams are crushed just because?"
Amanda: "My last job was programming for Oracle."
She seems nice. And since she's coming from Oracle, she shouldn't have any moral qualms about weapons manufacturing.
My first three interviews tomorrow are Kyle, Karen, and Chad.
Ask me if I'm joking.
My first three interviews tomorrow are Kyle, Karen, and Chad.
Ask me if I'm joking.
The Chad Interviewee vs the Virgin Kyle (feat. Karen speaking with the manager)
:lulz:
How much fun are you having?
Is it fair to say you are having more fun than the rats?
Incidentally, you do know that eventually if you keep breeding the rats who make it away from the drones you will have another potent warfare resource to hand.
Is it fair to say you are having more fun than the rats?
Incidentally, you do know that eventually if you keep breeding the rats who make it away from the drones you will have another potent warfare resource to hand.
Me: "Cheer up, Steve. We're going to do great things. This new project isn't just 'blue sky', it's 'somewhere around Neptune' and we get paid for no deliverables."
Me: "Cheer up, Steve. We're going to do great things. This new project isn't just 'blue sky', it's 'somewhere around Neptune' and we get paid for no deliverables."
I love those projects. I'm currently on an R&D project for a three-letter government agency (no, not that one, the other one) and the PM is complaining almost weekly that we're not spending enough money.
I can only hope this is the sort of socially irresponsible I can hope to achieve by myself with sufficient hard work and lack of survival instinct.
At the moment I can't say much about it, other than it makes the DEFF BOTS look socially responsible.
Once the principals realize they're shoveling money down a fucking hole and pull the plug, I'll gab all day.
I can only hope this is the sort of socially irresponsible I can hope to achieve by myself with sufficient hard work and lack of survival instinct.
On the other hand, there's a tiny but greater than zero chance they're onto something, and then I get everything I ever wanted.
I mean, once we get around that "insane level of radiation basically microwaving the operator" thing.
Stable time loops are stable because of the temporal conservation of mass. If you disrupt a stable time loop you end with permanent loss of mass energy (which can never happen and might destabilize the laws of physics depending) or permanent gain of mass energy (which can never happen and might destabilize the laws of physics in entirely different apocalyptic ways). This is entirely separate from the logical temporal paradoxes.
The only way time travel is possible is if you get stringy or go many-worlds, and in the many-worlds case there is so much MORE fun you can have than trying to create a fucking stable time loop just to fuck with it. Why, consider: in every Tucson reasonably close to our Tucson, there is a Howl in an arms manufacturing company. And in a significant fraction of those, he cackles and presses the big red “TEST FIRE” button and breaks down the walls between the worlds.
There is a very real chance of infinite Howls with infinite reality-crackers seeing each other and REALIZING WHAT IS HAPPENING.
Then things get really fun.
And if it’s gamma rays, do we even HAVE a source of strong gamma radiation that doesn’t have a half-life measured in days AND is consistent enough to put inside of a laser? I don’t think so: last I checked we can’t even consistently produce X-ray radiation powerful enough for spectral coherence, which puts a damper on weaponizing it beyond about twenty meters.
There is nothing you can do with an x-ray laser that cannot be done more easily with a big honking chunk of mass moving at indecent speeds.It suddenly occurs to me that a Jedi Master would have no way to defend against even a WW1-era machine gun. Maybe his precognition will let him block the first bullet, but there's no way he can wave that light sword fast enough to stop all of them. Actually, a shotgun might be even better, since the bullets all fly at once. When was the blunderbuss invented? 1700-something?
I try not to think about what "knock divots out of our little corner of reality" might really mean.
Are you seriously talking about fucking with the strong force? Cause that's about all I can see ending in "expended matter". Also, if my memory serves, that's a path to truly horrible things, like quark matter (by which I mean quark matter that isn't bound into safe, clean baryonic subunits the way something nice and friendly like plutonium is...)
Are you seriously talking about fucking with the strong force? Cause that's about all I can see ending in "expended matter". Also, if my memory serves, that's a path to truly horrible things, like quark matter (by which I mean quark matter that isn't bound into safe, clean baryonic subunits the way something nice and friendly like plutonium is...)
I'm still reading, but yes.
I don't think I want to make any of this on the planet where I keep my stuff.
Are you seriously talking about fucking with the strong force? Cause that's about all I can see ending in "expended matter". Also, if my memory serves, that's a path to truly horrible things, like quark matter (by which I mean quark matter that isn't bound into safe, clean baryonic subunits the way something nice and friendly like plutonium is...)
I'm still reading, but yes.
I don't think I want to make any of this on the planet where I keep my stuff.
This is definitely one of those situations where if someone said “Tsar Bomba” I’d say “revise upward”. Christ.
You need to check the person responsible for possession of an unlicensed Grin. You know the type.
Oh, I know. I just meant the sheer destructive capability.
Though if quark matter is less stable than baryonic, it makes a boom too. (We don't know yet, conflicting theories exist depending on how easy it is to yoink virtual gluons from the vacuum.)
Oh, I know. Fucking with the strong force could seed a vacuum collapse.
This is a very bad idea by any measure. Christ.
Please write a guidebook for the end of the world, Doktor Howl.
Oh, I know. Fucking with the strong force could seed a vacuum collapse.
This is a very bad idea by any measure. Christ.
*slams start button right through the console*
Oh, I know. Fucking with the strong force could seed a vacuum collapse.
This is a very bad idea by any measure. Christ.
*slams start button right through the console*
If you're going to trigger a vacuum collapse, please give me a few minutes advance notice. I'd like to climb up on the roof so I can enjoy the spectacle.
The End of Existence seldom happens more than once in a lifetime; I wouldn't want to miss it.
Vacuum collapses propagate at the speed of light, and appear to be unbounded....but if it travels at the speed of light, then I wouldn't be able to see it. :sad:
Vacuum collapses propagate at the speed of light, and appear to be unbounded....but if it travels at the speed of light, then I wouldn't be able to see it. :sad:
What a sorry world this is, that it should end suddenly, pointlessly, and unremarked, like an old man choking on a pancake at a waffle house!
I would rather it ended in glory, like Evel Knievel jumping the Amazon River on a rocket-powered unicycle.
yes, i know Knievel actually died of pulmonary disease
I can’t see it, Dok. I just can’t see any number of lasers hitting any number of electrons making anything truly scary under conditions we can make on earth. Seems impossible here.
But more lasers does indeed equal more better, so Dan should just give in.
How non-local are we talking? Probability distribution still within the solar system, or are we talking about something where chunks of back hair start appearing past the quasars?
So my son's first day is tomorrow.
So my son's first day is tomorrow.
Working for you?
So my son's first day is tomorrow.
Working for you?
No, different department. He had to wait until Dan arrived, because company rules forbid one family member being the boss of another.
But his office is on the other side of the wall from mine, and we'll be commuting together.
1. You can't actually cheat the universe, but it blinks sometimes. Uncle Albert and Uncle Isaac never understood the shell game.
1. You can't actually cheat the universe, but it blinks sometimes. Uncle Albert and Uncle Isaac never understood the shell game.
Negative probabilities and imaginary amplitudes are all very well and good in the lab, just make sure you keep them hidden from the public.
Project jokes:
1. We are proud that it has been -210 days since our next accident.
2. We're a relaxed crew because there are no local problems.
3. Mathematicians have only solved trivial problems.
4. 2 quarks for Muster Mark. The 3rd one is on backorder.
Project axioms:
1. You can't actually cheat the universe, but it blinks sometimes. Uncle Albert and Uncle Isaac never understood the shell game.
2. A grant in the hand is worth two in review.
3. Progress requires work, initiative, and expended matter which seems to be contagious.
Everywhere you go, there's always a dumbass.
https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gadgets-and-tech/time-travel-possible-grandfather-paradox-free-will-b713939.html?utm_content=Echobox&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook&fbclid=IwAR2ijBsdVdNXEPDHxb_-Yolv2GXQde_r8rIkrNG7qzuwF1E0-amedh0IUxw#Echobox=1601468055
Everywhere you go, there's always a dumbass.
https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gadgets-and-tech/time-travel-possible-grandfather-paradox-free-will-b713939.html?utm_content=Echobox&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook&fbclid=IwAR2ijBsdVdNXEPDHxb_-Yolv2GXQde_r8rIkrNG7qzuwF1E0-amedh0IUxw#Echobox=1601468055
Is that the best clickbait that a million kangaroos randomly typing can come up with?
Everywhere you go, there's always a dumbass.
https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gadgets-and-tech/time-travel-possible-grandfather-paradox-free-will-b713939.html?utm_content=Echobox&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook&fbclid=IwAR2ijBsdVdNXEPDHxb_-Yolv2GXQde_r8rIkrNG7qzuwF1E0-amedh0IUxw#Echobox=1601468055
Is that the best clickbait that a million kangaroos randomly typing can come up with?
Well, yeah. Which is surprising, coming from the independent. They're basically saying time travel (to the past) isn't impossible if the universe can forgive a paradox.
It's pure rubbish. The past is fixed, and you can only change it if you can violate conservation of energy. Which you can't. ANY intrusion on the past violates conservation of energy.
There's a variation on time travel that's only doable in standard, Everett-Wheeler many-worlds. In that, conservation of energy isn't violated because it's summed over the set of all quantum worlds, so you can conceivably travel to the past, sorta. It also solves paradoxes, because the paradoxes happen to a different "world" -- travel back in time and kill yourself, you aren't REALLY killing yourself, just a different being exactly like an earlier iteration of yourself. Like I said, /sorta/ travelling to the past.
But as a result, stable time loops are impossible -- there's two different "spaces" involved.
Also, there's reason to believe that travelling "close to home" (to worlds we would recognize as remotely like our own) would take mass energy equal to the observable universe, and that you could create what I can only describe as an "extraversal" black hole if you shifted too much mass to a single world (which would manifest as all the nearby worlds having all of their time-like lines end in that world, where they smash into each other and everything ends terribly). So, you know, just hope that we don't live in an Everett-Wheeler cosmology, lest capitalism start collecting bullshit from other worlds and cause ours to collapse into a black hole bigger than the universe.
There's a reason that I'm not a huge fan of Everett-Wheeler outside of worldbuilding and shitposting. Bohmian mechanics is more interesting, still makes all superpositions literally real, and closes all of those awful little holes. (It also opens a far cooler hole of a Platonic/Tegmarkian mathematical universe containing our own, which is the only good and sane form of quantum immortality.)
Once it’s all over, will you be able do discuss the details more?
This twerp is partially responsible.
https://arxiv.org/abs/1712.07962
One of the more bizarre properties of negative mass is thatThis is where this guy lost me.[/quote]
which occurs in positive–negative mass particle pairs. If both
masses have equal magnitude, then the particles undergo a process
of runaway motion. The net mass of the particle pair is equal to
zero. Consequently, the pair can eventually accelerate to a speed
equal to the speed of light, c.
This twerp is partially responsible.
https://arxiv.org/abs/1712.07962Quote from: partially responsible twerpOne of the more bizarre properties of negative mass is thatThis is where this guy lost me.
which occurs in positive–negative mass particle pairs. If both
masses have equal magnitude, then the particles undergo a process
of runaway motion. The net mass of the particle pair is equal to
zero. Consequently, the pair can eventually accelerate to a speed
equal to the speed of light, c.
I give it six months before the huge loss of distribution power is traced to the illegal lab built under Howls house. At which point it will be too late to stop him because he will have got the doomsday machine working despite the woolly physics, out of spite
I'm a bit puzzled about how this got into the large-scale experimental phase, since the theory seems as flimsy as it is.
I mean, you've pretty much covered it. It sounded cool, and it sounded like you knew from the jump it probably wasn't gonna work, and you rode that train as long as you could. Do you go back to creating the nanobot insurrection again?
I mean, you've pretty much covered it. It sounded cool, and it sounded like you knew from the jump it probably wasn't gonna work, and you rode that train as long as you could. Do you go back to creating the nanobot insurrection again?
Naw, that's done. I'm on the bench for a bit. So they have me hauling people's budgets into daylight to see what wiggles, while the lab monkeys tear down the chamber and pack up the lasers.
No idea what's next.
Were you able to avert the move to Wyoming?
What are the chances of accidentally causing Universal Crunch with this one?
This doesnt sound like you will be able to order lasers/smoke machines/disco ball as easily, but I guess more accurate guns are good too.
When greenpeace stormed the building that makes the missile guidance chips, the reps response was "Do you really want less accurate missiles"
What's the case length? If you can say, of course.
I've seen stuff like those rail-rifles before. Rich people in Florida love 'em. Windage and elevation adjustment on the bench, no sights, use a spotter setup to zero. Weird things.
Eyeballing the dimensions here, this is a weird loading. That's something like 20x90mm, best guess is small arms -- you'd just use the Vulcan if you wanted something not man-portable. Something like a payload rifle (but I'm pretty sure that program's dead) or an anti-materiel role is my bet, or maybe (if it's straight-walled) something like a cousin to that weirdo Russian 12.7mm round for individual weapons (they have a revolver and a combat rifle in it, the damn freaks). Either way, small enough the recoil isn't unmanageable for a human being. Not a fire-from-the-shoulder thing, unless it's straightwalled case, but yeah.
Pretty sure you can't share and I'm not trying to guess, more just... this is my nerd spot right here. I love this shit.
Mass tells space how to bend, and space tells mass how to move.
Money tells the market how to trend, and the market tells money how to move.
Physics is what kills you, but it's biology that wants you dead.
Mass tells space how to bend, and space tells mass how to move.
Money tells the market how to trend, and the market tells money how to move.
Physics is what kills you, but it's biology that wants you dead.
Are you doing focus groups with people wired up? I suppose you cant talk about it
WOOT.EXTREMELY glad for you Howl! Also probably a wize business move on your employer's part. Moving you would almost certainly demotivate you, and I dare say you have some amount of passion for murderbots occupationally. Your boss getting shipped out is just a bit of extra Slack on your Slack cake really.
More better project with murderbots AND neither Norton nor I have to go to Wyoming. My boss does, though.
:hammer:
Thinking ahead? How dare you? No-one gave your permission to think.
Mass tells space how to bend, and space tells mass how to move.This. This right here.
Money tells the market how to trend, and the market tells money how to move.
Physics is what kills you, but it's biology that wants you dead.
Also, it's so normal that I can't believe Norton's horrified by it. Pretty much every chemist I've ever known has a dozen stories of the office off of the main lab that had hundred year old equipment gathering dust and a shelving unit bowing under the weight of totally unidentifiable compounds, most of which required a bomb squad or hazmat team to dispose of when the time came to clean it all out. This exact room seems to exist in every chemistry lab in every university on the planet.
... and 1 big leaking drum of nitric acid.Although I lack direct experience in such matters, I think I would prefer a leaking drum to a swollen one.
That nitric acid though ... I wonder how much of the contents, by weight, are ghastly green iron nitride sludge.You have brought to mind a quote:
Poor Norton. A *drum* of nitric acid is terrifying. We might have a wider variety of chemical horror at the university, but you guys make up for it with sheer volume. I'm glad it's just a move across town though.
Who the FUCK did that, can you track them down, and can you give it back to them without legal repercussions? jesus fuck
Me: "A fair fight. I had a baseball bat and he had emphysema."
Me: "A fair fight. I had a baseball bat and he had emphysema."
Damn, y'all must do fairs differently in AZ; we usually just get some shitty 80's band and a Ferris Wheel.
The math doesnt add upon that floor space if you lease out the 25k unless the marketing department are planning on sitting in the carpark which sounds like a good idea after the rest of what you have described
As in cadavers plus actuators?
Next phase of the project: ZOMBIE DRONES. OMFG, I'M GONNA SQUEE!
This is actually the future I wasthreatened with as an unruly childpromised.
Next phase of the project: ZOMBIE DRONES. OMFG, I'M GONNA SQUEE!
This is actually the future I wasthreatened with as an unruly childpromised.
In the event of a central control failure, the Drone Group will immediately switch to Autonomous Death Swarm configuration. All self-preservation protocols will be disengaged, coordination will switch to the "mesh" mode, and the group will swarm the nearest target of opportunity, destroying themselves as necessary. This protocol is intended as a countermeasure to preclude disabling a Drone Group by destroying its central control.
"Cut off the head, and the body flies at you, mercilessly."
That's not a zombie and you know it. Sure it's cool as fuck and I can't wait to start hacking these things in the field for profit and lulz but damn you all to hell for getting my hopes up! :argh!:
This is the only reason I still check these forums. Looking forward to more posts.
Having recently joined the forum, I've been binging on this thread all week, with a stimulating mix of horrified amusement and amused horror.
Shades of Simon Travaglia. I eagerly await the next installment in the saga.
Me: "I did the math, you can fit 22 average cows into the bomb bay of a B52."
Dan: "We can't present this to the board."
Me: "Why the hell not?"
Dan: "There's no actual money in it."
First, it tells your opponent that you're not playing with a full deck of cards and should not be trifled with.I've heard a theory that Reagan successfully employed that tactic against the Soviets during the Cold War, although it wasn't intentional on his part.
Me: "I did the math, you can fit 22 average cows into the bomb bay of a B52."
Dan: "We can't present this to the board."
Me: "Why the hell not?"
Dan: "There's no actual money in it."
I think more analysis is needed before dismissing this as unprofitable. A full outfitted Smart Cow costs, what, $3000? But how much bomb can you get for a measly $3k? That would barely get you a 50-gallon plastic drum filled with black powder. In terms of shock-and-awe-to-cost ratio, I think the cow comes out ahead. It also meshes nicely with the Air Force's fetish for multirole systems. It's a bomb! It's a lawnmower! It's what's for supper!
You might need more "value added" beyond the laser pointer and the webcam, though. Maybe equip the cow with a drone launcher. Wasn't teaching the drones to identify livestock part of an earlier project? They could be configured to attack everything non-cow. The sight of a uniformed cow grazing placidly amidst a swarm of hot death wouldn't be good for enemy morale.QuoteFirst, it tells your opponent that you're not playing with a full deck of cards and should not be trifled with.I've heard a theory that Reagan successfully employed that tactic against the Soviets during the Cold War, although it wasn't intentional on his part.
If I was president, nobody would ever sleep again.
Supposedly there's a 330 million ton, half a mile fatberg somewhere under the UK they're dealing with. Gross. I'd never heard of a fatberg until I read this thread.
Supposedly there's a 330 million ton, half a mile fatberg somewhere under the UK they're dealing with. Gross. I'd never heard of a fatberg until I read this thread.
There is really nothing more horrible than a fatberg, and the fact that there is a 330 Mn ton one in existence gives me peace and contentment.
What the actual fuck? I suppose it's a good thing he never had a case of "work rage".
I've been reading about an awful lot of incidents similar to this lately, people who just flew off the chain and killed people over little shit, like just recently in Georgia four were shot, including the gunman, and one store clerk died because a customer was asked to put on a fucking mask,
there was the road rage incident in California where a 5-6 year old boy was shot and died in the backseat of a car, there's more, but listing all of them would be draining, there was the religious guy in Georgia who went through shooting up Asian massage parlors in Georgia because of his "sex addiction"...
Maybe I'm late to the party but it would seem we need to rethink a few things about the right to bear arms.
Me: "Boss, I'm building a drone that goes up the sewer pipes into peoples' toilets. This is an all-new nightmare. Do you have some NORMAL people around to build that?"
2. Any travelling heads of state would be best served to request a hotel room without a toilet, and they will just have to go in a chamber pot.
I have questions:
Was the 7 minutes needed to get the drone OUT, or to get it IN before he arrived.
How does this identify if it has its target: has it got a variation on facial detection techniques for ass cheeks?
Me: "Boss, I'm building a drone that goes up the sewer pipes into peoples' toilets. This is an all-new nightmare. Do you have some NORMAL people around to build that?"
I was thinking about countermeasures for this. By the time I figured that we might need an encrypted data channel between the toilet flush controller and the sewage interlock, it became clear that:
1. I don't understand much about plumbing.
2. Any travelling heads of state would be best served to request a hotel room without a toilet, and they will just have to go in a chamber pot.
I have questions:
Was the 7 minutes needed to get the drone OUT, or to get it IN before he arrived.
How does this identify if it has its target: has it got a variation on facial detection techniques for ass cheeks?
1. In. I might have to use the toilet, after all.
2. It's not very discriminating. 37C +/2.
I have questions:
Was the 7 minutes needed to get the drone OUT, or to get it IN before he arrived.
How does this identify if it has its target: has it got a variation on facial detection techniques for ass cheeks?
1. In. I might have to use the toilet, after all.
2. It's not very discriminating. 37C +/2.
Imagine the scene from predator where he tricks the thermal sensor with mud to cool his skin, but in the bathroom and not the jungle, and not with mud
For most buildings, the sewer interlock is just a 180 degree trap, like you have under your sink.
For most buildings, the sewer interlock is just a 180 degree trap, like you have under your sink.
That much I know, but I assumed a drone would be able to navigate a regular trap (it might impose some size limitations, but this critter is already capable of ascending a ten-foot pipe, so I expect mobility is solvable).
What I had in mind was putting two valves in series downstream of the toilet, designed such that only one of them could open at a time (like an airlock). The toilet flushes, the first valve opens, poop passes, then it closes, then the second valve opens, the idea being that there is always a physical barrier to anything moving upstream. This would be an expensive retrofit, would be susceptible to clogging, and probably wouldn't even be very effective (if the drone just stops and waits, couldn't it get past the valves in two flushes, anyway?)
And our founder/CEO died. His three bickering children - all of whom hate each other and everything their dad built - are now in charge of the company.Damn sorry to hear that man.
Time to look for a job.
And our founder/CEO died. His three bickering children - all of whom hate each other and everything their dad built - are now in charge of the company.Damn sorry to hear that man.
Time to look for a job.
Do you have some breathing room or did they just halt The Science immediately?
And our founder/CEO died. His three bickering children - all of whom hate each other and everything their dad built - are now in charge of the company.Damn sorry to hear that man.
Time to look for a job.
Do you have some breathing room or did they just halt The Science immediately?
I have some time.
I'm sitting here a bit puzzled as to WHY someone would want a drone that goes up the toilet. Does it have anything to do with fatbergs?
If a system was needed to give an escape mechanism for the rich and powerful this absolutely has already been implemented, the trick would be figuring out where its been used
If a system was needed to give an escape mechanism for the rich and powerful this absolutely has already been implemented, the trick would be figuring out where its been used
The best you could do is look for missing footage. Even that could be jimmied.
But here's another idea: Have one person appear to be in multiple places at the same time. Or have one guy show up on video where he isn't, and not where he is. If you need to set someone up.
If a system was needed to give an escape mechanism for the rich and powerful this absolutely has already been implemented, the trick would be figuring out where its been used
The best you could do is look for missing footage. Even that could be jimmied.
But here's another idea: Have one person appear to be in multiple places at the same time. Or have one guy show up on video where he isn't, and not where he is. If you need to set someone up.
this seems like it would be easier to pull off. could also just establish an alibi - not necessarily set someone up.
"Sir, our cameras place you at the active crime scene"
"yeah, so? your cameras also place me at costco at the same time."
Wait, please don't tell me you won't be updating this? It's the single goddamn reason I come here.
I find it difficult to express my rage at this turn of events.Hate always finds a way.
I find it difficult to express my rage at this turn of events.Hate always finds a way.
Does the dissolution of the company release you from any NDAs that have heretofore prevented you from discussing the sordid details of said DEFF ROBOTS?
A zookeeper who finds out that the animals are going to be killed would release them to fend for themselves
Do whats morally right
A zookeeper who finds out that the animals are going to be killed would release them to fend for themselves
Do whats morally right
DRONE APOCALYPSE: TUCSON :lulz:
That's an awful feeling to leave on, and that penny pinching proper backups and redundancy isn't a once off, it's what the makers of the ransomeware rely on.
It's not just code that targets vulnerable systems, its code that targets vulnerable business process.
At least that's someone else's problem nos
TOTAL FUCKING CHAOS.I shall prepare the popcorn.
My name plate on my office has been replaced with "Gerald Ford".
My little Norton is growing up. :(
This doesn't mean horrible retribution won't apply.
Incredibly relieved he only hurt himself, generally the play stupid games win stupid prizes games on the road results in people who weren't even playing getting the prize
Sorry I meant I am glad he got creamed and not someone else, no sympathy for him
Sounds like your crew landed the perfect job to suit the interests. Do you get to set up an explosive fatberg group or are those too well established as:
We know they can go wrong, we know they WILL go wrong.
Great. Howl will defend us from the sun, I can't wait to see our odds.
Great. Howl will defend us from the sun, I can't wait to see our odds.
It's casino odds. Eventually you're fucked and no more food or electric light.
Today, at work:
Me: "We have been asked for an analysis of recovery time from another Carrington Event."
Today, at work:
Me: "We have been asked for an analysis of recovery time from another Carrington Event."
Dear God.
They're paying you to be Dr. Strangelove. :lulz:
In short, we get paid to think about system failure and what plans need to be in place, but in a far more general way. We get paid to be obsessive pessimists. Which I was already doing for free.
In short, we get paid to think about system failure and what plans need to be in place, but in a far more general way. We get paid to be obsessive pessimists. Which I was already doing for free.
that sounds like your dream job
Pour sideways Dave, 4 hours a day is a killer, but it will be good for that thing that passes for his soul
Zoom meeting at work today, sadly voice only.
Me: "How are things going down there, James?"
James: "DEATH, DESTRUCTION, AND TERROR."
Me: "How excellent. I see that you spent $30K this week."
James: "20 years of neglect carries a price tag."
Me: "Fair enough. I like what I'm seeing in terms of work orders completed. You need anything else?"
James: "Give me more money. More money means more shit fixed."
Zoom meeting at work today, sadly voice only.
Me: "How are things going down there, James?"
James: "DEATH, DESTRUCTION, AND TERROR."
Me: "How excellent. I see that you spent $30K this week."
James: "20 years of neglect carries a price tag."
Me: "Fair enough. I like what I'm seeing in terms of work orders completed. You need anything else?"
James: "Give me more money. More money means more shit fixed."
I like this guy. Full frontal pragmatism is a valuable quality.
But what happens when he runs out of work orders? Something horrible and glorious, I hope.
It just occurred to me that I get paid a lot more money to do good things than I got to do evil things.
This somehow seems un-American. It makes me feel dirty.
*looks around*
No commentary on this? That must have been some pandemic.
Somehow, I'm not surprised that this is how it is behind the scenes. It fits my image of the world. Also, it sorta explains why accelerationist weirdoes and fascists are everywhere.
This has sort of split me and my group off onto a tangent, and we have proven there was more information moved between government and NGO departments prior to email than there is today...When measured as "useful, actionable information."
This has sort of split me and my group off onto a tangent, and we have proven there was more information moved between government and NGO departments prior to email than there is today...When measured as "useful, actionable information."
How is that measured? Does the reduction in information flow appear to be an artifact of technological change, cultural change, or some combination?
*looks around*
No commentary on this? That must have been some pandemic.
It's more that PD is a combination scratchpad/museum now. We have about 5 regular posters, by which I mean "posts once in a week."
Also, some folks aren't allowed to talk to me because you know.
*looks around*
No commentary on this? That must have been some pandemic.
It's more that PD is a combination scratchpad/museum now. We have about 5 regular posters, by which I mean "posts once in a week."
Also, some folks aren't allowed to talk to me because you know.
Still? :horrormirth:
I did a double take when I got to "Bones", cant fault that knowledge of his process control though, takes someone who really loves their system to think of ways to improve them like
Mother of God. A whole cow is a lot of bone, fat and cartilage. Is the machine okay after that?
It went really well, too. We got a whole cow through the grinder in less than 5 minutes.
A whole cow, thats like 5-6 People a minute!I did a double take when I got to "Bones", cant fault that knowledge of his process control though, takes someone who really loves their system to think of ways to improve them like
Well, it's not our system, we just get paid to make things more efficient.
It went really well, too. We got a whole cow through the grinder in less than 5 minutes.
*looks around*
No commentary on this? That must have been some pandemic.
It's more that PD is a combination scratchpad/museum now. We have about 5 regular posters, by which I mean "posts once in a week."
Also, some folks aren't allowed to talk to me because you know.
Still? :horrormirth:
And they have to ask permission to have a conversation with her.
:lulz:
I have seen grown-ass adults actually submit to that.
Mother of God. A whole cow is a lot of bone, fat and cartilage. Is the machine okay after that?
It is. There was more spray than anticipated.
A whole cow, thats like 5-6 People a minute!I did a double take when I got to "Bones", cant fault that knowledge of his process control though, takes someone who really loves their system to think of ways to improve them like
Well, it's not our system, we just get paid to make things more efficient.
It went really well, too. We got a whole cow through the grinder in less than 5 minutes.
PLEASE tell me there's a budget line-item for cow-shrapnel-resistant kevlar vests. I need this joy. Lie if you must.
So the drones scrapped each other, as they were the highest concentration of metal in the immediate area.
Billy: "Are you having some kind of ethical crisis here?"
Tina: "Yes, and I'm not sure..."
Me: "Your salary will be <amount>. Not bad for right out of college."
Tina: "..."
Billy: "Are you having some kind of ethical crisis here?"
Tina: "Yes, and I'm not sure..."
Me: "Your salary will be <amount>. Not bad for right out of college."
Tina: "..."
You see, Tina, your salary isn't just compensation for the work you'll do, it's part of the service you provide; helping to extract money from <agency>. In fact, it would be unethical not to take their money.
Me: "In any case, the file you need is already loaded in your computer, under the file name 'anaerobic threat'."Bacterial existential threat? Sorry sorry, one of the bacterial existential threats?
Me: "In any case, the file you need is already loaded in your computer, under the file name 'anaerobic threat'."Bacterial existential threat? Sorry sorry, one of the bacterial existential threats?
Sounds like step two is jumpsuits and respirators. Full-mask first, then half-mask if your hand is forced. Then jumpsuits and goggles, IF AND ONLY IF they let you have a giant combat robot of doom. You absolutely need jumpsuited, begoggled technicians if there's a fucking Gundam on site, after all.
After that, it's time to ensure management understands the importance of uniforms that grin threateningly no matter what the person wearing it is doing with their face.
Today, I was randomly assigned to the marketing group for "fresh ideas."
Clayton: "Our new product is clearly superior to the existing products, but the market is saturated with older product. We need ways to penetrate that market."
Doug: "I wrote a new vision statement..."
Me: "Shut up, Doug."
Clayton: "Yes. Shut up. We are not here to write business plans or vision statements, we are here to come up with WAYS. TO MOVE. PRODUCT. So instead of whatever Dilbert crap you have floating in your head, give me things that will actually get people to sit up and take notice."
Me: "You can stab your enemies from 700 miles away."
Today, I was randomly assigned to the marketing group for "fresh ideas."
Clayton: "Our new product is clearly superior to the existing products, but the market is saturated with older product. We need ways to penetrate that market."
Doug: "I wrote a new vision statement..."
Me: "Shut up, Doug."
Clayton: "Yes. Shut up. We are not here to write business plans or vision statements, we are here to come up with WAYS. TO MOVE. PRODUCT. So instead of whatever Dilbert crap you have floating in your head, give me things that will actually get people to sit up and take notice."
Me: "You can stab your enemies from 700 miles away."
I recently took up archery, and, almost three years after you wrote it, that line suddenly makes perfect sense.
Tina is amazing.