Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Topics - Cramulus

Pages: [1] 2 3 4 ... 40
I really enjoyed this article. It has a lot of good juice for breaking out of the algorithm.

Would love to know how it strikes you spags.

Apple Talk / baseless hostility thread
« on: November 21, 2021, 01:44:50 am »
You're all a bunch of piss asses with truck nuts for a face


Apple Talk / The "Dead Internet" theory
« on: August 31, 2021, 10:06:14 pm »
Remember when conspiracy theory was FUN?

Here's my new favorite wackadoo belief system:

The "Dead Internet" theory:

The internet is mostly abandoned. Most of the content you see is bot-generated. Bots talking to bots.

here's an Atlantic writer going  :lulz: about it:

here's one of the likely solid parts:

Apple Talk / Last one to post in thread wins
« on: July 19, 2021, 10:41:44 pm »
Rule 1: don't lock the thread
Rule 2: don't complain about the thread
Rule 3: this is apple talk

Literate Chaotic / Chao Te Ching cited in book about HERESY
« on: April 16, 2021, 03:42:25 pm »
Hey LMNO & Friends, check this out:

A recent academic paper, Immanent eschaton, Discordian and Deleuzian dissimulations of the Goddess, by Benjamin J. Austin, cites our very own Chao Te Ching.

The paper is published in the book Heresy and Borders in the Twentieth Century (Routledge Studies in Religion)

The paper contains this section:

the citation:

placid dingo is cited too! Citation #30:

I've attached the paper itself, in case anyone is curious

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Intermittens: Road Trips
« on: April 14, 2021, 01:10:17 pm »
Posted on behalf of Drill, one of the r/Discordian collective:

Calling all creative spags, again!
We're putting together an Intermittens (a web-published magazine of Eristic a-musings), and we could use your help to do it!

The theme this time is road trips and travel, both literal and metaphorical.  We're taking a pilgrimage to a holy site that may or may not exist yet.  The hope is this will be a more contemplative counterpart to the previous edition's hellraising.

Send submissions to me over DM, or find us on discord:

Submission deadline is 50 Discord 3187 (3 May 2021). Late submissions may be accepted, but don't count on it!

All work must be released under a CC-BY-SA 4.0 license (

Please keep submissions to at most five pages, unless you want to send us a collection of junk to pick and choose from like a hotel breakfast buffet

RPG Ghetto / OSR D&D
« on: March 22, 2021, 01:06:20 pm »
I've been enjoying "OSR" (Old School Renaissance) style D&D for a few months now. Here's the things I think make it fun:

-The rules tend to be much lighter. This creates a blank space that is filled by improvisation and DM rulings. You're surrounded by skeletons? You can say "I want to try a spinning attack that hits all of them." The DM is not going to say "Nope, you need a specific feat to do that", they're gonna go "You can try..." and invent a mechanic on the spot.

-The game style is challenge based, and not "balanced". If you go into the dangerous area, you are taking a risk. But if you're careful, and clever about approaching that risk, you can mitigate it and win big. Playing safe levels you up slowly. Playing rough makes you feel like you earned your XP, found something you weren't expected to get.

-Oldschool games favor "emergent" plot. The story is created by the events and choices at the table, story is not imposed on the players by the unseen narrator. The DM doesn't have a script, they're not pushing you towards the next pre-written plot point.. they get to be surprised by what happens too.

-High stakes make the dice interesting. Epic loot can be found. Characters die. Yeah, it can suck to lose a character, but you'll love your next one even better. And when a character has survived a long time, they feel very 'storied'. OSR games don't frontload character-investment... they build emotional attachment over time. In the 5e games I've played, I usually don't feel like my character's life is on the line -- resurrection is cheap.

-That being said, there are a lot of situations in OSR games where you don't roll--what matters is that you narrated the right solution. In the game I'm running, there are no *mechanics* for finding or removing traps, it's all handled by narrative. If you spotted the trap, and you describe the right way to jam it/bypass it, it works. You have to listen to the DM's description and do problem-solving. You can't ignore the narrative and then coast on your stats.

-In my game, you don't get XP for killing monsters. You get 1 XP per gold piece you bring back to town. This shifts how you think about combat. You're trying to steal treasure from the dungeon, not "clear" the level. In 5e, if you bypass a combat encounter, you're usually cheating yourself out of XP. But if Gold Won = XP, then talking, avoiding, distracting, and pitting monsters against each other becomes a great strategy.

-OSR games do not usually favor "buildcrafting". In modern D&D, when the DM describes a challenge, players tend to scan their character sheet for the most appropriate skill or ability that has the best number next to it. This style kinda shortchanges player's creative problem solving.

-And that's because OSR challenges tend to not be about the game math ("How do I hit AC 25..?"). Sometimes the challenge is, like, "there's a tiny octopus in your belly and it's biting you!" It's not a problem you can solve using any of your skills or class features, you've gotta come up with a creative solution. You might have to repurpose tools, invent new ones, or think outside the box. That's where the magic happens.

-Most editions of D&D have clunky mechanics for encumberance, wandering monsters, and tracking time. In a lot of games, these things become accounting exercises, or roadblocks to the next story point, so it's no wonder that most D&D tables handwave them. But in the right context, they can be a very interesting and dynamic source of challenge. When you're planning a delve, you have to strike a balance between moving quickly, being prepared for any given situation, and having enough room to carry treasure out of the dungeon. I LOVE the moment where a character is weighing these things against each other -- "Hmm... if I drop my shield, I can carry 500 more gold out of the dungeon..."

-And finally, the oldschool D&D aesthetic lends itself to CLASSIC ROCK AND HEAVY METAL.There's a certain magic about playing D&D while wearing heavy metal t-shirts, drinking beer, and listening to Blu Oyster Cult. These days, I also prefer Sword & Sorcery to High Fantasy -- Conan the Barbarian, as opposted to LotR. Frank Frazetta. A Wizard spraypainted on the side of a van. For years, I've been playing D&D to fantasy movie soundtracks, orchestral music, trying to make it feel magical and epic epic epic... I have only recently discovered I kinda like Black Sabbath? And that gritty, 80s fantasy aesthetic can be very tasty.

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Intermittens 11 is Available!
« on: February 24, 2021, 06:53:46 pm »
The r/Discordian cabal has completed their work on Intermittens Issue #11: POST TRUTH AND HYPERBELIEF

You can view it here:

here's a link to the post on reddit:

IT'S FANTASTIC!! So fuckin cool to see NEW Discordian works. These r/Discordian cats warm the cockles of me bloated old heart.

posted on behalf of the r/Discordian CoreDump

Calling all creative spags!

We're putting together yet another Intermittens (a web-published magazine of Eristic a-musings), and we could use your help to do it!  The theme this time is 'Post-truth and hyperbelief: What happens when truth stops caring about Truth?'.  Send submissions to or find us on discord:

Submission deadline is 15 Chaos 3187 (15 January 2021). Late submissions may be accepted, but don't count on it!

All work must be released under a CC-BY-SA 4.0 license (

Proudly sponsored by the House of the Setting Podge (Formerly House of the Rising Hodge, since aquired.)

(you may be asking -- wasn't there an issue 11 of Intermittens already? Yes, but it was published by Lecherous Shithead, and included a ton of him planting self-promotional wankery into discordian history -- so fuck it, it doesn't exist)

if you want to join them on Discord, but the link expired, hit me up and I'll toss you a fresh one.

Literate Chaotic / Monk in the Trunk
« on: December 23, 2020, 08:24:51 pm »
Monk in the Trunk

Every Steve we receive

Has a monkey I perceive

In the flesh

In the fat

In a tiny silly hat

He is sleeping like a mole

In a cabinet in your soul

And when he wakes he will freak out

So I pray you let him out

Literate Chaotic / The Idiot versus The Swan
« on: December 22, 2020, 03:39:08 pm »

The Idiot versus the Swan
by Professor Cramulus

There are so many different truths out there. How do we select one?

If you choose wrong, you become some soggy middle aged prick who hides in a reality tunnel from decades ago, and is angry at anything that doesn’t belong in it. We watched our parent’s generation become the exact thing they rebelled against. Mark my words: this process has already begun in you.

If you choose the option that feels right, you will find confirmation of your own assumptions. In the attention economy, preference is a magnet. You can become trapped by the gravitational pull of Confirmation Bias. The Law of Fives is never wrong.

If you choose the option that is the most reasonable, intelligent, well researched -- there emerges a blind spot hiding the world’s emotional realities. You will come up with solutions which people hate. You will gnash and weep that people do not behave the way they “should”, and this disharmony can lead you to a place of toxic cynicism. You may end up in an emotional reality anyway, one in which everyone is dumb (but you, of course.. you know better).

If you believe that all swans are white, when you see a picture of a black swan, your preference is to say “that’s not a swan”, instead of “I misunderstood what swans are”. The Black Swan dwells outside of our reality tunnel, it brings disorder to our internal map of the world. It is concealed by our assumptions and our ignorance of our own ignorance.

The Black Swan is Eris’ pet. Swans are vicious creatures. They bite. They are pissed about the original snub--that is--they were not included in your map of the universe, and for this, they seek REVENGE.

Old Bob knew how to make friends with the black swan. He knew that Eris is a prankster, and that in the comedy-bit which is everyday life, his role was to slip on the banana peel and get a big laugh. The universe has trained us wrong, on purpose, as a joke. Maybe the only way to stop being the butt of the joke is to accept this. We are all Cosmic Shmucks.

This openness -- to seeing yourself as wrong -- is also one of the only things that can save us in the post-truth era. We need to be in a state of doubt and able to learn & accept new info. We can't do that from a place of complete certainty and confidence.

The post-truth era is in full swing because the lie feels differently than the truth--it's attractive, seductive, "feels" right. Our intuition and our intellect are both running for election but the district is heavily gerrymandered.

And this is part of why the Discordians celebrate Confusion. The Confused mind is trying to make sense of reality -- and that’s the best mind, most active & engaged. It can be unattached, free. It can learn. The Beginner Mind dwells in confusion. Thrives in it, even!

Let us become the Ordinary Idiot again. We have been pretending we are more advanced forms of idiots--the square idiot, the zigzag idiot, the enlightened idiot--but in truth we are the same kind of stupid as everybody else. Let’s go home to this place of mundane stupidity, where everything has to be taken in small pieces because we are very dumb and the world is very complex. Let us taste each bite individually, perceiving but reluctant to pass judgment, because we do not have all the data.

If (as St. Gulik suggests on the Emerald Tablet of Hermes) the little universe (the inner world) and the big universe (the outer world) are really the same thing at different levels of magnification, then we have a secret key -- the study of ourselves can lead to the realization of those fundamental laws that make the world go round. Maybe we can be momentarily free of the Cosmic Shmuck principle by seeing our own Shmuckitude. One day, we may even become an advanced form of idiot, reaching heights of idiocy only theoretical--until now.

Literate Chaotic / The House of Worry
« on: December 09, 2020, 01:32:34 pm »
The House of Worry
By Cramulus, Enki-][, and Rev OtherTrouble (known here as Themenniss)

St. Dog was unusually troubled. He spent his days tense and dense, anxiety soaking everything it touched. His suffering was on autopilot. One day, when he was thoroughly exhausted from arguing with his washing machine, he decided to seek out Cilantro the Sage, a Discordian Pope, for advice.

Having heard St. Dog’s exhaustive list of the things occupying him--politics, social pressure, mortality, calories, his salary, calories again, the president, my phone keeps running out of batteries, capitalism, unbearable horniess, this stain on my ceiling, we’re all going to die, bus fare is going up--Cilantro said, "Have you tried worrying about it?"

Literate Chaotic / Escape from the Moon
« on: November 22, 2020, 05:19:31 pm »
Escape from The Moon
by Cramulus, Aftermathematics Research Cabal

First, there was Nothing, then there was Everything. There was no point, then there was one point, then it exploded, and it became All & Everything from A to Z.

All & Everything’s first order of business was to create all the galaxies. Everything (disguised as the galaxies)’s job was to create all the solar systems. The solar system’s job was to create all the planets.

Our planet’s job was to create the moon. Everything’s goal was to create the moon.

(Did you know there are two moons? We can only see one of them)

Organic life grew on earth. After billions of years, it started to figure shit out. It went to the farms, it went to the cities, it turned to nations, it turned to religion, to corporation, fast food chains, team sports, late night infomercials, social media, the human abacus, the living calculator.

The fittest survived. So we ended up with humans. We ended up with governments. We ended up with feudalism and the calculations ran for thousands of years. Every life on the farm, every life in the castle, every life in the church, all part of this equation. The denominator grew and grew until it added up to guillotines. The moon ate it all, she’s growing, her gravity runs through our hair like fingers, first softly, then gripping, pulling, turning our heads.

The moon demands our attention. Tidal forces make us spend money and have kids and retire and die and become soil. Tidal forces make war and insanity, it’s like the weather, its like a cauldron. This is all nature needs from us. To help calculate. To be worms and then worm food, 1 and 0.

There is a parade of words, images, ideas, truths and lies. A war of Yes, No, and Reconciliation. What do you think of this? What do you think of that? Your energy goes out, it feeds the moon. It’s part of the calculation.

It’s growing. It’s going to become green one day. It’ll take many, many lifetimes to build it. Our life is the din of its construction, but you and I will never live there. 

If you’re quiet, you can hear something other than the perpetual sucking lunar vacuum. Eris’s whisper is easy to confuse with the moon. She’s far out there, you know. Past pluto. Her arc only nears you every 500 years. If you want to hear her, you have to listen very attentively. You have to make yourself ready to hear her, because the tidal cacophony drowns her out.

She says that you don’t have to become food for the moon. You can use that energy for yourself.

Most people don’t get a choice.

« on: October 29, 2020, 03:41:31 pm »


Literate Chaotic / The Emerald Tablet of St. Gulik
« on: October 23, 2020, 10:40:19 pm »

The Emerald Tablet of St. Gulik

When St. Dog was done meditating with St. Gulik (a heady strain called Emerald Tablet), the world began to plɹoʍ all topsy-turvy.

St. Dog looked in the mirror. He saw three dudes stuck in an oversized sexy-lobster costume, the zipper zipped up and snapped off. All three of them struggled against each other about what they would do next. It was the civil war. Was it sexy? For some of them, it was.

St. Dog turned on the TV, and the news was reporting on his organs. The heart was dark. The nation was having a panic attack.

St. Dog went to the doctor. The doctor took an x-ray. It looked badly gerrymandered. “Is it bad?” asked the Saint. The doctor said, “The good news is, we still have a corpus callosum.”

The doctor took a blood sample. Under the microscope, there was a little church. The blood cells kneeled in pews and prayed for light. St. Dog saw them, and their prayers were answered. They were DISTURBED, but they rejoiced. Their civilization would be changed for a thousand years. St. Dog smiled.

St. Dog stood up, and said “I see it now. I’m changed. I’m going to chill out, get a bite to eat, and then take a nap.”

He was healed. We all were.

Until he forgot about it, and got back on the ride for another go-around.

Pages: [1] 2 3 4 ... 40