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Name: Bearman Age: late 20s/early 30s. Gender: Male. Race: Native American Jew
The criminal known as "Bearman" is a major player in the underworld sport of illegal, unlicensed needlepoint competitions. In these brutal bloodsports, octagenarian ladies embroider to the death, with the winner (ie, survivor) being awarded as much money as can be stuffed in a "family size" bag of Doritos.
Bearman was caught once in 2012, but he escaped his holding cell by means of bluffing with a fake gun he knitted, using modified toothbrushes and his cellmate's nerve ganglia. It is supposed that the guards were more traumatized by the remains of his cellmate, more than frightened by the horrible floppy "gun".
Bearman is currently located somewhere in Houston, where rumors state that he is illegally teaching Texans how to read.
I don't know.... I've seen photos of that knitted gun. It was... intimidating.
LOL YES
The Doritos, and the reading part.
You don't fuck with the bear. :lulz:
"Illegally teaching Texans to read" :lulz: