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Topics - hunter s.durden

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Apple Talk / Free Will?
« on: December 19, 2012, 05:26:39 am »
Cat nature wants string.
Wiggle, wobble, she paws it.
Are we different?

Apple Talk / p3ntacybin:
« on: October 14, 2012, 10:18:26 am »
The other day I found that my mom had a travel guide for fucking Scotland!
However, she will not be taking me.

So, in order to complete my mission of punching you in the kayak, I need you to get back to your roots and commit a crime:
Kidnap my mom!

This way I can get all intense like in Taken and tell you about my skills. Then I'll come over, we'll have a few rounds (of PCP) and then you give her back.
I will PM her travel itinerary when I get it.

Sound good?

Apple Talk / Pic my Pick
« on: October 09, 2012, 05:39:16 am »
I'm not feeling Joey Gladstone right now.

Suggest a new picture.

Apple Talk / Too Harsh?
« on: October 09, 2012, 04:37:15 am »

Said individual made me watch that piece of shit.

And made fun of my poor social skills with rude remarks like "Oh, it's finally going to leave the cave!?

And fuck a haunted house.

Naw.  This is temporary.

Cain, Cain, Cain. As the board's one man CIA you clearly know this isn't true. You can say what you want to comfort the board, but raising their hopes will only serve to more violently shatter their spirits when they realize the truth.

Roger is gone. Hard. And forever.

Some of the more astute members of the board may have noticed that this comes one week after my glorious return. This is no coincidence. In a series of private messages I hit Roger with an assault of brilliance and "logic" that would make Lecter pull a Miggs (both the jack off thing and the suicide).With Roger out of the way I am free to use this board as I see fit. I have subtly hinted at my agenda, but have no worries, in time subtlety will not be needed.

But how? No one is that good, right? Wrong. I have spent the last 3 years honing my mind and body with the singular purpose of eliminating Roger. I knew the man was capable of anything, and that's exactly what I trained for. Illegal hardcore back-alley philosophy debates. Panamanian roulette tournaments under the Chinese restaurant at 0300. Most of you soft-bodies couldn't even survive a Yukon rules Cuddle-Off, I was winning them. I won't reveal all my training techniques, but let's just say James Carville will never have another discussion about 1850's Japan in Morse code without seeing me in his tortured mind.

A new era is here.
The Reverend is dead.
Long live The Beard.

Apple Talk / Educating Hunter: Libertarians
« on: September 30, 2012, 05:16:26 pm »
In the few days since I've returned to the board I've noticed a strong vibe against Libertarians that I don't seem to really recall. Whether or not this is simply imagined, I would once again like to weaponize this board's hatred for my own personal amusement.

My politics class contains a student whom is an outspoken Libertarian. Initially I wanted to be "nice*" as I sympathize with most 3rd parties because I have underdog syndrome (this is not always true). However, in the last class period said student sympathized with Romney saying "so what if he doesn't pay all those taxes, he gives to charity, how much is enough, blah blah." This little rant stuck in my head because it was was somewhat unprompted, and in my eyes it put him in the Republican zone. This makes him my new sparring partner (which makes me somewhat happy. When I have no one to argue with I start fading away like in Back to the Future).

ITT: please support or destroy the Libertarian party. Just about any little thing will be appreciated from the academic critique (Cain, v3x) to the inflammatory hate shit (the whole board), to support and counter-argument (one of you guys, right? I really hope this thread doesn't devolve into everyone sucking each others dicks over how much smarter than Ron Paul you all are). Things about environmental regulation are probably not needed, as I've never met a Libertarian who believes in global warming/ climate change/ science, and simply ignoring facts renders most issues moot. Please note that I have no problems contradicting myself, I can smoke a J and then argue the death penalty for possession (as proven by my alcoholism/ prohibitionist stance).

Literate Chaotic / Midterm Paper
« on: September 29, 2012, 05:24:57 am »
 “A&P” – John Updike
“A Rose for Emily” - Faulkner
"Sonny’s Blues” – James Baldwin
“Cathedral” – Raymond Carter
This Is What It Means to Say Phoenix, Arizona” – Sherman Alexie
“The Storm” – Chopin
 “Everyday Use” – Alice Walker
“Chrysanthemums” – Steinbeck,
 “The Swimmer” – John Cheever
 “The Lottery” – Shirley Jackson
“The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas” – Le Guin
“A Pair of Tickets” – Amy Tan

Jerks: above are the short stories I was forced to read and analyze.
I need ideas. Initially I think I'm going to write on "The Swimmer" and the passage of time or something.
I don't know I'm all fucked up.

Bring and Brag / Help: English
« on: September 27, 2012, 10:52:23 pm »
I was tasked to write a "Reading Response" to a passage of my choosing from "The Metamorphosis" by Kafka. However, I had to use First Blood references to explain my breakdown to prove a point. Please review and criticize the following piece:
(first: The ending was intended to be hammy. I was trying to draw tears of confusion.)

“If it were Gregor, he would have long ago realized that a communal life amongst human beings is not possible with such an animal and would have gone away voluntarily. Then we would not have a brother, but we could go on living and honor his memory. But this animal plagues us.”

   This quote near the end of The Metamorphosis is from Grete, Gregor’s once loving sister, who is now trying to convince the family that the vermin now occupying their house needs to be disposed of because he is not family. This is significant because throughout the rest of the story Grete is the only family member who makes any real attempt to care for Gregor in his new form. However, in time, she sees him as nothing more than a nuisance and attempts to rationalize her selfishness by saying that she believes Gregor is not inside the vermin, or it would know what a burden he is and leave of his own accord. Grete’s change of heart indicates to us that Gregor is now truly alone, and all the love he ever had from his family is gone. This would be the last straw for Gregor, who would go on to die.
   The metamorphosis in Grete’s mind that turns Gregor from beloved brother to hated vermin immediately brings to mind the story of John Rambo, and of many veterans that struggle when returning to “the world.” Rambo was once a useful, important member of society, fighting in hellish conditions to make our lives better, much like the conditions Gregor Samsa works under, as he is unsatisfied by his career and life in general. But Rambo is only useful “over there,” much like Gregor only being useful when he is able to work and support the family. So when Rambo came home, unwelcome, spit on, and kicked out of town by Brian Dennehy, he transformed into a creature made of murder and destruction, the only things he knew how to do. Grete’s speech and attitude toward Gregor in his new vermin form is very much the same as the attitude many people have toward the returning veterans, that they should just go away so the rest of us can honor their memory without having the burden of having to actually deal with the people involved.
   The rationalization is the most important aspect of this quote, even her whole speech. In Grete’s mind, she is turning not against Gregor, beloved brother and caretaker, but against a horrible vermin that has no connection to her brother. She uses this rationalization to kill Gregor in her mind, and this is what really leads to his literal death, more so than his critical apple wound. Humans are social creatures who need love as much as they need food. Gregor, who was still very much human in his heart, starved to death when the last person on Earth feeding him with love stopped believing in him. One could argue that this makes Grete the worst person in The Metamorphosis universe. She is the person who killed Gregor with poisonous words, metaphorically killing all the “vermin” whom larger society deems “unfit for sacrifice.” She strips him of his humanity, and his will to live, by adding literal insult to literal injury. But in the end she goes off to lead a happy comfortable life, without a tear or thought for Gregor and the sacrifices he made for her and her dreams of going to band camp for the summer. Instead, she drew first blood. In her heart, she became the real Ungeziefer.

At the end I wanted to write "I wish Rambo would kill Grete," but the teacher warned me that she reviled gratuitous violence.

Apple Talk / Help: Political Science
« on: September 27, 2012, 10:14:12 pm »
Alright, dudes, time to make me famous.

I have to do a presentation on one of the US political parties. My first instinct was to go Green, as their platform is most agreeable to me right now. I also thought Republican would be fun, my teacher needs more lulz in her class.

I can do another party, but she said we have to first be able to justify it. I think I can do that, so I'm open to it. Whatever your choice, please explain why you chose, I need to know what angle to take. The poll is weighted by argument.

Two votes because we get to pick in random order, our first choice may be blocked.

Apple Talk / Help
« on: September 26, 2012, 03:10:38 am »
Do you dudes think I can get some help on my homework?

This college bullshit is cray.

Also, women, please, correct me if I'm wrong about any of this, this is just what I personally think are key things to being a successful "playboy".

I knew this thread would come full circle to you droning on about what a cool guy you are because you have sex.

You are a creepy fucking date rapist.

Or Kill Me / Save Our Kids
« on: March 11, 2009, 12:39:07 am »
Here is the last time I ranted, for those of you seeking some toxicity. It was written hastily but I believe my point got across.
It was written in October '08 if you want a frame of reference. The quote at the end is from Tool, I forgot to give credit. Sure, I could change that right now, but I feel it would take away from the hurried, unedited sentimentality of my writing.
Here ya go:

About a year or so ago, there was a hubbub made over a series of Clearasil commercials. The commercials featured young men and women acting sexually provocative after using the product because of their new-found confidence in their appearances. I'm not sure if was Clearasil's specific commercials that were the focus or the example, as Axe, Herbal Essence, CK, and all kinds of other companies that rely on sex for a sell used similar marketing campaigns. It seemed to simply be a fix for our overly conservative media culture during a media drought. Heading the pack on my radar was notorious closet sex fiend, Bill "loofah?" O'Reilly. The complaint here seemed to be that these commercials were being played during peak programming hours, and thus "forcing" people to explain to their children what's going down on the screen. "Mommy, why is that boy winking at his teacher."

Bullshit. I immediately smelled the rank hypocrisy boiling from the mouths of the bastards who have been sent to tell me what to think. These liars, these misinformation peddlers, these fear guided, ass backward fucks had once again taken it upon themselves to tell me how I should conduct my life, with no consideration for my beliefs, my family, my fears. How do I come to this conclusion? Simple: I don't fear sex. I don't fear letting my (hypothetical) kids knowing what happens in the hearts, minds, and bodies of the adolescent, teen-age, or fully matured humans. I don't fear the tough questions that I would prefer be asked of me and not learned elsewhere. No regard is given to my fears and concerns only those of the voices on TV.

There is a credit card commercial running that I find completely offensive. I am afraid that the youth will see it and be corrupted. I would pull this commercial faster than you could say "sex talk." In this commercial, there is some sort of business lunch between some Americans and some Asians. The American man pays for his lunch with a credit card that has a picture of some generic super hero on it. The Asians talk amongst themselves, laugh, and walk away. Then the American woman says, "let me get this," and puts down her golden [God], professional looking credit card. I guess that young fella has something to learn about business. Time to grow up.

I would be less offended if a man in black face, wearing a Nazi uniform, raped a blind orphan with muscular dystrophy.

This commercial "forces" me to to have the following talk after my 8 year old asks why Asians hate superheroes(thus cementing his racist future): "Well, Vegeta, the thing is, once you get to the ripe old age of 14 or so, superheroes are seen as childish. It's not just superheroes, though. Non-approved musics, videogames, individuality, fiction, self-expression, happiness, free-thought, stuffed animals. Hell, pretty much all toys. By the time you're in college you're expected to call your mini-van and word processing programs "toys". If you have any interest in things that are outside of the acceptable, you will be ridiculed and written off. Honestly, you may as well not even bother developing a personality. One will be given to you after your first tour in college."

I fear conformity for the sake of conformity. I fear the unimaginitive. I fear the banal and the boring. Where is the media now? Why isn't Bill "yeah, it's called a loofah" looking out for me? The future is being poisoned by these immoral bastards, lets do something!

No help for me... My concerns aren't important. They aren't valid. These are the ranting of the childish. Please. Look at how "grown-ups" have driven this planet, and this country right into the fucking ground. Give me the superhero guy, keep your precious "maturity."

"I'm praying for rain, I'm praying for tidal waves..."

Bring and Brag / HSD ART
« on: April 23, 2008, 09:56:33 pm »
I'm talented too.

This is my art.

First up, a piece called Me and He. I just did it one MSPAint about 3 minutes ago.

Or Kill Me / Abortion is Murder
« on: January 10, 2008, 12:16:32 am »
That's right. I'm jumping on board. I believe that when you vacuum out that little ball of jelly, and throw it in the dumpster, you've committed murder.

You can fool yourself into believing that it isn't really alive so you can sleep well at night in your tower of moral superiority, but you're a murder. Even advocating the notion of legal abortion makes you an accessory to baby-murder. A little innocent bundle of miraculous joy  is dead because you want consequence free sex.

Let that sink in.

I am writing these things to call-out some hypocrisy. Recently I met a fellow revolutionary. He had ideas about changing the world. He wanted to tear down the "forces of old and evil" and make the world better. How would he do this? Not by defacing government vehicles and advertising boards. These were "fascist methods." He chose instead to harass the anti-abortion guy on the corner.

Each "side" (left and right) today has it's pet causes. Some of these are no-brainers to me. Protect the environment? Sounds like a no-brainer. Don't shit where you eat.

The anti-abortion cause? Look, I don't really know if that little thing is alive, but isn't there something good and pure about someone who is trying to prevent murder? I'm not talking about the fanatics and the bombers, but the sign holders and the rally starters. When someone does it for a death row inmate or a whale they are applauded for their sacrifice, but someone stopping baby murder is an evil fanatic? Doesn't make sense to me. I've seen stupider causes than saving babies.

Just keep some of this in mind if you ever get over-zealous with the pro-choice ferver. Not all of those freaks are trying to take away your right to choose. Some just like kids.

Literate Chaotic / Locked again?
« on: October 25, 2007, 08:46:03 pm »
Burn this fucker down.

The communists have taken over.

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