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ok folks, the situation is that if i want a good beer, i know what to get. if i want quantity over quality, what cheap beer can be had that doesn't taste like excessively fizzy beer-flavored soda? anything with any substance that doesn't cost too much?

BOB-O

BEER SNOBS! A REDNECK ANSWER TO WINE SNOBS!

ok, so, several years ago i got the holy-grail of salmon recipes. it's absolutely phenomenal and so easy to make even the biggest of you asshats could do it. since i have no chance of monetary gain from this here goes...

SALMON StGERMAIN:

you need:
salmon fillet
cumin
paprika
chili powder
brown sugar
salt (FYI... kosher salt is the shit and should be used for 99% of all cooking endeavors)
oven/broiler/grill (charcoal grill is far better than any other option)
baking pan (if using an oven)

OK, so, now you need to mix the spices into a dry rub. usually i have relatively equal amounts of chili powder and paprika, a little less cumin and brown sugar, and a pinch or three of salt. basically mix it so it tastes good and there's enough sugar to caramelize.

now, put salmon in the pan, maybe on some aluminum foil (if you're baking/broiling it... otherwise, just prepare it on a plate). cover with the dry rub and pat/rub in as much as possible.

now get your grill/oven/broiler/etc started up. if you're awesome like me and using a charcoal grill, throw it on and cook it like a man. if you insist on cooking inside (like if, for example, it's really fucking cold outside), i like to broil first to heat the oven and caramelize the coating. then i bake at 350 F until done.

then you take it out and eat it.

it's so fucking good it'll give you a hard-on.

BOB-O

ok, so at my highschool we had this thing called senior speakout, where we all write speeches, and get voted into a top 8 or so. this kid, cedric mcdougal (to give him credit...) got voted into the finalists and then as a winner but then was kicked out last minute. i just found it, sitting in my email for the past two years. here ya go:
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This is the speakout that you will never get to hear – all because Mrs. Preis finds it unsuitable for your ears. Keep in mind, however, that this is the uncensored version. First, I was told that I had to tone down the obvious language – and I did. Then, just yesterday, Mrs. Preis informed me that it was still inappropriate. In order to read it to you today, I would basically have to rewrite it. In one night. So here you go, an uncensored copy of an uninhibited speech. ~Cedric McDougal

Die Free

Answer me this: why are you here? In school? Why are you here? Nobody likes school. I mean, nobody really likes it. But why do you try? Why do you follow the rules? Why do you work for a grade that means nothing? A grade is only a measure of how much you care. And in caring you are attached; in attachment you are trapped. You are not in control.

What if I told you your parents are dead? How would this make you feel? Hey, maybe you don't care about your parents. How about, your house is on fire, and you're about to lose everything you own. How about you said something stupid and everyone is laughing at you. How about you're raped, catch herpes, lose your dick. Wouldn't you regret it? Wouldn't you pity yourself? Wouldn't you cry your fucking eyes out until it didn't hurt so much? But wouldn't it still hurt?

Fuck it. That's my philosophy – it's called bliss, nirvana, enlightenment. And it is not out of your reach! I can end suffering. You can end suffering. Anyone can end suffering.

What you have to do is this: think about everything you value. Do you value money? Do you value your collection of, whatever? Do you value your hard work? Your social image? Your reputation? You friends? Your family? Your health? Think about it. Concentrate on it. Embrace it.

Now lose it. Lose everything. Smash your stupid little cell phone with its annoying "personalized" ring tone. Take out that essay you spent hours on and tear it into a thousand meaningless pieces. Crash your car; burn down your house; forget. But do not regret. And do not hope. You are not your past; you are not your future; you are not the things you have; you are not the things you don't have. Everything you feel, everything you think, is a distorted reflection of everything you are. Nothing is pure. In having nothing, you can be pure.
But the only way to have is to lose. The only way to love is to hate. The only way to feel is to not feel. The only way to live is to die. You cannot know something, truly know something, until you have known its opposite. Everything is relative. How can you say you're happy if you've never felt pain? How would you even know what happiness is? The only way to be free is to lose all freedom.
You have to let go. You have to accept the fact that you control nothing. Time doesn't care if you've won the lottery, or fallen in love, or gotten a fucking medal – you are not important. Every second you live is a second closer to the second you'll die. You cannot stop it. You cannot avoid it. You cannot run from it. And all your pain, all your worry, is born from your fear of it. Let go.

Now imagine a world with no attachment. Imagine a world in which no one fought to control the things around them. Imagine what life would be like if everyone accepted inevitability, if everyone lived for the sake of living. You wouldn't have wealth; you wouldn't have greed; you wouldn't have war or innovation or suffering or comfort. Screw the great, the powerful, the successful. The great would be the norm. The powerful would be content. The successful would be alive. And you would exist not for what you have or what you want or what you feel or what you think – you would exist for you.

I mean, just look at your life now. It's pathetic. You work, you strive, you yearn, you long for shit that you don't need. How is a stereo essential to your survival as a human being? Why must you have an iPod or an iPhone or an – I don't even care. You do not need a good body. You do not need a good image. You do not need to conform; you do not need to break conformity. It is these wants that hold you back. It is these desires that run your life. And is it worth it? Is a lifetime of dependency really worth the five minute ego trip you get from showing off the meaningless shit you have?

I'll say it again: let go. Sit back. Close your eyes. When you open them you will see a different world. You will see light after having seen dark. You will see something after having seen nothing. And in the instance your eyes first open you will be born again. The world is only what we perceive it to be. If we perceive nothing, what does the world matter to us? If we do not see it, smell it, feel it, taste it, hear it, think it, how do we know it exists? Why do we care? It is because we know that eventually, we will open our eyes. We think we can keep things the same, we think we can hold the world still.

But the world is never still. And we are slowly learning this fact. Everything changes, from hour to hour, minute to minute, second to fucking millisecond. T.S. Elliot once wrote that when a train departs "and the passengers are settled... You are not the same people who left that station / Or who will arrive at any terminus." You are changed. You are altered. You, your mind, your essence, your soul – time passes as the train the passes and you pass with it.

Just think, if you fall asleep right now, you will not wake up – a different you will open his eyes and he will see a different world. The you that fell asleep, the world that you last saw – these things will no longer exist. They will have been consumed by the past, absorbed by the way things can never be again. The past is gone.

So deal with it. Stop trying to hold on. Stop trying to control things. Stop your stupid pursuit of righteous self importance. Stop worrying, stop caring, stop searching for meaning, because there is none. Stop asking right or wrong, stop fucking living for others, stop your mind, stop your soul, stop everything that isn't the thing you are – just be. Exist as you are. Don't live caged by influence but don't revel in stagnation, either. Just lie back and be. Just live life detached and die free.
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i wondered what all you rant experts thought of this. have at it.

bob-o

my first day of college and its' food was not good to me. "damn, this stuff is kinda shitty... i wish i could cook here," blabla etc etc... now after only a couple of days to "acclimate", half of the food isn't half bad. a definate improvement. same food, of course. same cooks. just tastes better.

in only three of four days, i was used to something that i used to dislike....

can you imagine what it would/will be like in a couple weeks or months? it will be good food! how the fuck did that happen?

made me think of the crap i recently shoved into my head in the form of Black Iron Prison.

there's a lot of shit in this world that we should bitch about, but we go about it as if it's SOP, always has been, always will. few people actually go back home, go to thier favorite BBQ joint of cook thier favorite dish. some do. but The System, The Network, The Machine, whatever the hell you want to call it, likes it that way. don't go anywhere. You're happy, aren't you?
You're fed?
You're entertained with the teevee?
then why go through the trouble to do something when you don't have to?
that's hard work,
save it for us.

Stay there, and it'll be fine.

or kill me.

bob-o

I've got some cheap Japanese swords for sale as a trio: Katana, Wakazashi, Tanto. No one wants them so i'm seeing if any of you guys want 'em. knowing you, i bet you'd like 'em.  *shrug*. i'm asking $50 OBO. btw, don't know if this is the best forum to post this. mod, move as you see fit.

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y249/themadmailler/swordsforsale.jpg

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y249/themadmailler/swordsforsale3.jpg

just don't go stab someone.

~bob-o

hi. i was wondering what that qoute meant exactly. i could guess it a bit, but i am not quite sure.

i came in here just as this place was falling to shit... i have heard how this place used to be a nice place, with good, sensible discussions, no asshats like CHEF, and all such things. I really liked The Good Reverend, because of his MOSY story, his clever mindfucks... now he's just a jackass, poking fun at people, acting like chef...

i guess i shouldn't be suprised. this is kinda like communism or somthing- sounds good in theory, but after awhile, people just use it as an excuse to consume large amounts of nutmeg, ask for directions to make strong drugs, and shit like that...

~bob-o

emeril the cook needs to stop being so fameous. i have now seen emeril salsa, and the "medium" is really "sweet" (where the hell is you fameous "BAM!" in your salsa? or a few notches to be kicked up?) then there's BAM! steak sauce... Emeril cookware- spatulas, tongs, etc. Emeril has to be one of the worst goddamn cooks ever! his english sucks (so what we're gunna do is we're gunna...) and the audience is so f-ing stupid. actually, it's partly the "applause" signs, and partly the audience for being so dumb to actually do what the signs want.i remember one times emeril actuallly made a good joke, and no one laughed- and then he says some dumb thing and everyone laughs. his overused "BAM!" phrase is horridly overused, gathering too much applause from the subservient crowd.

my question: why isn't Joque Pepin fameous with brand name salsa, steak sauce, and kitchen utensils? because he has the brains and a much smaller ego if any at all, and makes much finer food than stupid regular crap like salsa and steak sauce. Joque has better english, he dosn't have a dumb crowd, no dumb catch phrases, or anything ike that. he's a REAL cook. just like julia childs.(RIP)

Emeril=CHEF D's father.

hail eris.
~bob-o

[Goodbye, Roger.]

Goodbye, Roger.

All the rants, sermons, and other enjoyable stories...

What will we ever do?

it will never be the same place without the good reverend. i'm sure we're all equally sad about TGRR...

i don't know what else to say!

may the good reverend have a good time.

~bob-o

i was talking to this girl i met on penpalworld.com on AIM... the conversation shows how much todays children are...uhm...stupid.

(TheMadMailler is me, i deleted the other person's SN for obvious reasons)
------------------------------------------
TheMadMailler (5:30:33 PM):  it it the "eat and talk and socialize" kinda party, or the "there's no parents around so lets get piss drunk" kinda party?
person(5:31:12 PM): #2
TheMadMailler (5:31:40 PM): what the fuck is up with todays kids
person(5:31:50 PM): y?
person (5:31:56 PM): whats the prob
TheMadMailler (5:32:02 PM): you're fucking underage
person (5:32:06 PM): is it supposed to b the second 1
person (5:32:09 PM): soooo
person  (5:32:12 PM): ur point
person  (5:32:18 PM): i d/ get it
person  (5:32:26 PM): u dont do nothin do u
TheMadMailler (5:32:36 PM): my point is underage drinking is illegal
person  (5:32:45 PM): i know
person  (5:32:48 PM): we all do
person  (5:32:52 PM): but u dont do u
person  (5:32:57 PM): obviousley
person  (5:33:02 PM): there r worse things
TheMadMailler (5:33:04 PM): WTF?
person  (5:33:13 PM): at least im not gettin pregnant
TheMadMailler (5:33:18 PM): i know it's illegal, what are you talking about?
TheMadMailler (5:33:34 PM): p-hah! parties like that get people preganat
person  (5:33:55 PM): i know its illeagal
person  (5:34:00 PM): not me
person  (5:34:10 PM): i do it all the time the parties
person  (5:34:18 PM): not the other thing
TheMadMailler (5:34:20 PM): like it's a good thing?
person  (5:34:26 PM): waht
person  (5:34:28 PM): what
person  (5:34:34 PM): lets just not talk bout this
TheMadMailler (5:34:39 PM): person (5:34:10 PM): i do it all the time the parties
TheMadMailler (5:34:44 PM): that
person  (5:34:52 PM): o not that its good
TheMadMailler (5:34:55 PM): you act as if it's an ok thing to do
-----------------------------------------------

*sigh*...i wonder what kids will be like 30 years from now...

what do you people say?

~bob-o

ok, here we go. i wrote it one day with inspiration from a friend of mine here (sakred chao):

The Frog and the Toadstool.


   So, one day, there was this frog, and his name was bob. Bob the frog. Bob liked to travel, and he was a good friend of mine. Then he encountered a toadstool. When he told me the full story, it inspired me to write this.

So Bob the frog was walking along
And it was the end of the day, which was quite long.

Bob was tired,
And the sun wasn,Äôt getting brighter.

He then came upon a toadstool,
Which he thought was quite cool.

Because he was ever so tired,
He then inquired:

Hello Mr. Toadstool, may I rest on you?
Then it replied, ,ÄúNo you may not, now please do shoo.,Äù

Now, bob thought that he jest,
Because he just wanted to rest

Upon the toadstool,Äôs cool bed.
Now bob did not want to forge ahead

And find a frogstool,
Because none existed, and believing that there was would make him quite the fool.

Now bob persisted
And then insisted,

But the toadstool did not accept.
Bob didn,Äôt give up yet,

He tried another route.
He yelled, hollered and shout.

The toadstool still persisted
And then insisted,

That he find another place.
So now bob knew that this toadstool was prejudiced against race.


This angered bob to the utmost amount
So he grabbed the toadstool, then shout:

If you do not let me rest I will slice you and dice you
And then I will burn you too!

Now the toadstool was still undaunted
Which made bob quite haunted,

Because no one has ever been so rude,
And this amount of refusal was quite new.

So, bob decided to take out his threat to this cruel toadstool
Because he wanted to make it look like a fool.

Bob took out his knife, and said one last time:
,ÄúLet me rest on you, you insolent swine!,Äù

,ÄúNo!,Äù replied to toadstool.
So then bob proceeded to show him that he was a fool.

Slice, dice, chop, hack
Boy, does this frog have the knack

For slicin,Äô up some shroom
He could keep going until tomorrow afternoon!

So now, all were happy,
And bob went to sleep contently

On another toadstool
Who was not a fool

Like the one, who met it,Äôs demise.

--THE END--

don't steal it now. what think you?
comments? criticisms? suggestions? threats to contact the EPA?

~bob-o

[if you are making a post, you MUST add a part of the story.]

i got an idea.

i start a story, a few scentences worth. then someone else adds on to that, and we keep going... and please:

1)if you are making a post, you MUST add a part of the story.
and
2)put the stort part in italics so we can easily distinguish it from any other text you may write.
eris will frown upon you and stuff if you don't follow that direction.

ok, i'll start:

So, fred was was walking down the street one day. fred then saw a trail of blood! he followed it into a forest, where he found...

~bob-o