Print Page - I'm so badass, the thread.

Title: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on March 28, 2009, 01:21:51 AM

ITT: We tell people how unbelievably badass we are to increase our ePeen.

For example:
I'M SO BADASS I CAN FIELD STRIP ANY GLOCK PISTOL IN THE WORLD IN UNDER TWO MINUTES!!!

or

I'M SO BADASS MY CAR GOES FROM 0-60 IN 30 SECONDS! THAT'S RIGHT, 60. SEE YOU FAGGOTS IN MY REARVIEW!

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Jenne on March 28, 2009, 01:37:13 AM

Do you fist cats, Fnordude?

(just making sure)

Also: you don't post enough. Your post count is a total lie. In fact, that whole thing to the left of your post is a lie.

Also: good to see you.

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on March 28, 2009, 01:41:48 AM

You're not very good at this game...

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Jenne on March 28, 2009, 01:44:07 AM

Good.

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Jenne on March 28, 2009, 01:46:32 AM

FINE

I'M SO BADASS THAT PEOPLE WALK SIDEWAYS WHEN I WALK DOWN THE STREET IN CASE THE RUSH BETWEEN MY MIGHTY THIGHS SWEEPS THEM OFF THEIR FEET.

I'M SO BADASS THAT WHEN I SNEEZE, ALL OF CHINA HITS THE FLOOR EN MASSE, COWERING IN FEAR.

I'M SO BADASS, BUSLOADS OF PILGRIMS FLOCK TO MY DOORSTEP, HOPING TO GAWD I'LL SPIT NEAR THEM AND THEY CAN USE IT FOR HOLY WATER.

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on March 28, 2009, 01:52:39 AM

Later.

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Jenne on March 28, 2009, 01:53:17 AM

:( I played!

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Cramulus on March 28, 2009, 01:56:48 AM

I JUST THREW MY CELL PHONE AT A TRUCK AND THE TRUCK EXPLODED AND MY PHONE STILL WORKS

TAKE THAT, FAGTRUCK

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Xooxe on March 28, 2009, 03:44:03 AM

I'M SO MGD WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN I MISS YOU!

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on March 28, 2009, 04:21:00 AM

i'm so badass that chuck norris calls me sir

?

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Elder Iptuous on March 28, 2009, 04:30:21 AM

I'm so Iptuous that my fuckin' iptuous is iptuous.

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on March 28, 2009, 04:31:44 AM

FRED

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on March 28, 2009, 04:33:26 AM

yo. i herd u liek squids
so i put a squid in your squid so you can squid while you squid

and then i sang a little song and i kicked myself in the baaaaaaaaaalls

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Verbal Mike on March 28, 2009, 01:47:26 PM

Fred wins this thred.

Cram: Nokia, huh?

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on March 28, 2009, 02:44:23 PM

I'M SO BADASS I CAN LOOK YOU RIGHT IN THE EYE AND STAB YOU IN THE BACK

I'M SO BADASS PEOPLE HAVE BROKEN BASEBALL BATS ON MY BALLS AND I NEVER SO MUCH AS FLINCHED

I'M SO BADASS I ASSRAPE LIVE TIGERS AND THEY GODDAMN WELL LOVE IT

I'M SO BADASS YOU NEED TO SIGN A WAIVER BEFORE THEY'LL LET YOU WALK DOWN THE SAME STREET AS ME

I'M SO BADASS A SHAOLIN TRIBE OF NINJA BADASS MOTHERFUCKERS ONCE IMPLORED ME TO BE THEIR KING. THEY WOULDN'T GET OFF MY CASE ABOUT IT SO I KILLED EVERY LAST MOTHERFUCKIN ONE OF THEM.

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: the dreadful hours on March 29, 2009, 03:56:41 PM

i'm so badass, my friends think i'm...oh who am i kidding

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Cain on March 29, 2009, 05:25:18 PM

I'm so badass the Pope has to exorcise anything I've sat on.

So yeah.

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on March 29, 2009, 05:36:20 PM

I'm so badass that the sun asks my permission to rise every morning.

(yeah, i know that doesn't make any sense. i don't have to make sense, i'm so badass)

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Jasper on March 29, 2009, 06:30:16 PM

I'm so bad ass, it hurts other people's wieners when I pee.

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Vene on March 29, 2009, 06:31:20 PM

Quote from: Felix on March 29, 2009, 06:30:16 PM
I'm so bad ass, it hurts other people's wieners when I pee.

...fucker

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on March 29, 2009, 06:33:11 PM

IM SO BADASS I DONT EVEN HAVE TO EXPLAIN HOW BADASS I AM

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Aufenthatt on March 29, 2009, 06:47:33 PM

I'M SO BADASS I WROTE ALL THE OTHER POSTS ON HERE THROUGH YOUR ACCOUNTS USING ONLY MY TWO SMALLEST TOES TO DO THE HACKING, WHILE ROBBING A BLOOD BANK, WHILE LEARNING TO PLAY THE MANDOLIN

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Jasper on March 29, 2009, 06:52:12 PM

Quote from: Aufenthatt on March 29, 2009, 06:47:33 PM
I'M SO BADASS I WROTE ALL THE OTHER POSTS ON HERE THROUGH YOUR ACCOUNTS USING ONLY MY TWO SMALLEST TOES TO DO THE HACKING, WHILE ROBBING A BLOOD BANK, WHILE LEARNING TO PLAY THE MANDOLIN

That's impossible, because I know how masturbation is spelled.

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Triple Zero on March 30, 2009, 08:20:46 PM

ALL THE MOUNTAINS IN THE NETHERLANDS ARE IN FACT HIDING AND COWERING BELOW THEIR SHITTY TECTONIC PLATES FROM MY BADASSNESS BECAUSE I KEPT DISINTEGRATING THEM WITH MY LAZOR FARTS

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Aufenthatt on March 30, 2009, 08:35:10 PM

Quote from: Felix on March 29, 2009, 06:52:12 PM
Quote from: Aufenthatt on March 29, 2009, 06:47:33 PM
I'M SO BADASS I WROTE ALL THE OTHER POSTS ON HERE THROUGH YOUR ACCOUNTS USING ONLY MY TWO SMALLEST TOES TO DO THE HACKING, WHILE ROBBING A BLOOD BANK, WHILE LEARNING TO PLAY THE MANDOLIN

That's impossible, because I know how masturbation is spelled.

Thats what you think

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Cramulus on March 30, 2009, 08:35:51 PM

I'M SO BADASS I HAVE TO PUT ON A HELMET EVERY TIME I TAKE A SHIT.

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Triple Zero on March 30, 2009, 08:44:15 PM

IM SO BADASS I SHIT IN CRAMS HELMET

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 30, 2009, 10:04:09 PM

I'M SO BADASS I RENT MY HEMMOROIDS OUT TO TENANT FARMERS.

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on March 30, 2009, 10:12:24 PM

I'M SO BADASS THE SUN WAITS FOR MY PERMISSION TO SHINE 8)

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 30, 2009, 10:14:50 PM

I'M SO BADASS THAT CHUCK NORRIS MAKES MY COFFEE.

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Richter on March 30, 2009, 10:24:23 PM

I'M SO BADASS I CAN VAULT OVER SKYSCRAPERS WITH A SINGLE EJACULATION.

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 30, 2009, 10:47:12 PM

I'M SO BADASS, SYPHILIS HAS ME.

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on April 06, 2009, 08:59:15 PM

I'M SO BADASS I MAKE THREADS THAT NOBODY UNDERSTANDS AND THEY TURN INTO PSEUDO-BILL-BRASSKY JOKES!

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2009, 10:16:54 PM

Quote from: Slanket the Destroyer on April 06, 2009, 08:59:15 PM
I'M SO BADASS I MAKE THREADS THAT NOBODY UNDERSTANDS AND THEY TURN INTO PSEUDO-BILL-BRASSKY JOKES!

YOU'RE A MISUNDERSTOOD GENIUS, SIR. NOBODY UNDERSTANDS YOUR VISION.

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on April 06, 2009, 10:21:09 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2009, 10:16:54 PM
Quote from: Slanket the Destroyer on April 06, 2009, 08:59:15 PM
I'M SO BADASS I MAKE THREADS THAT NOBODY UNDERSTANDS AND THEY TURN INTO PSEUDO-BILL-BRASSKY JOKES!

YOU'RE A MISUNDERSTOOD GENIUS, SIR. NOBODY UNDERSTANDS YOUR VISION.

YOU'RE RIGHT ROGER, I AM TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD.

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Faust on April 06, 2009, 10:22:47 PM

Quote from: Slanket the Destroyer on April 06, 2009, 08:59:15 PM
I'M SO BADASS I MAKE THREADS THAT NOBODY UNDERSTANDS AND THEY TURN INTO PSEUDO-BILL-BRASSKY JOKES!

I'M SO BADASS I HAVE TRON ON VHS

I'M SO BADASS I OCCASIONALLY WALK TO THE SHOPS INSTEAD OF TAKING THE BUS

I'M SO BADASS I SOMETIMES TAKE AN EXTRA FIVE MINUTES FOR MY LUNCH

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2009, 10:31:05 PM

Quote from: Faust on April 06, 2009, 10:22:47 PM
I'M SO BADASS I HAVE TRON ON VHS

I'M SO BADASS I HAVE TRON ON BETA

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on April 06, 2009, 11:33:01 PM

I'M SO BADASS I HAVE TRON ON REEL-TO-REEL AND FLIP-CARDS!

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Ari on April 06, 2009, 11:36:12 PM

I'M SO BADASS I CRY PURE ENDORPHINS.

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Bruno on April 07, 2009, 01:35:31 AM

I'm so ~~emo~~ BADASS, I bleed tears!

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: the other anonymous on April 07, 2009, 01:59:35 AM

MY ASS IS SO BAD IT TURNS MY GAY LOVERS EVIL!

FOR PROOF, JUST ASK ROGER IF HE'S EVIL!

-toa,
loves the evol gayz

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 07, 2009, 03:36:19 AM

I'M SO BADASS, I HAVE TWO VERSIONS OF THE SAME HAT: ONE COTTON, THE OTHER WOOL

I'M SO BADASS, I HAVE A REALLY COMFORTABLE MEMORY FOAM PAD ON MY BED

...

I'M SO BADASS, I ONCE CHUGGED A BOTTLE OF TABASCO SAUCE AND EVERYONE AROUND ME BURST INTO FLAMES

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Aufenthatt on April 07, 2009, 10:04:23 AM

I'M SO BADASS I SHOT ~~JfK~~ some hoops

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Triple Zero on April 07, 2009, 04:33:38 PM

IM SO BADASS I DONT EAT HONEY--I CHEW ON BEES

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Honey on April 08, 2009, 12:59:21 PM

wut? oh er uhh i uhh :oops:

Carry on then!

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Zenpeanut on April 08, 2009, 08:42:57 PM

I'M SO BADASS I PUT MY KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK AND THEN REMOVED THE CAPS LOCK KEY PERMANENTLY

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on April 08, 2009, 08:53:34 PM

Quote from: Zenpeanut on April 08, 2009, 08:42:57 PM
I'M SO BADASS I PUT MY KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK AND THEN REMOVED THE CAPS LOCK KEY PERMANENTLY

:mittens:

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 15, 2010, 09:05:09 PM

I'm so badass, I grope TSA employees.

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Richter on December 15, 2010, 09:13:05 PM

IM SO BADASS THAT A MUGGER FOLLOWED ME INTO AN ATM, AND I CONVINCED HIM TO WITHDRAW MONEY

IM SO BADASS THAT WHEN I EAT SPICY VINDALOO IT CRIES

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on December 15, 2010, 09:20:19 PM

I'M SO BADASS THAT WHEN I STARE INTENTLY AT THE WAVES, THEY TURN 90 DEGREES TO GET OUT OF THE WAY OF THE SHIP.

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Adios on December 15, 2010, 09:22:00 PM

I'm so badass the Pope is afraid to pray for me.

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: AFK on December 15, 2010, 09:26:59 PM

I'm so badass , John Boehner cries at the mere mention of my name!

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Richter on December 15, 2010, 09:29:48 PM

IM SO BADASS STEAKS JUMP OUT OF THE COW AND ONTO MY GRILL WHEN I SNAP MY FINGERS

IM SO BADASS THAT MILLER LIGHT APOLOGIZES FOR BEING SHITTY IF I GET NEAR IT

WHEN PEOPLE GET HORNY THEY HAVE SEX. IM SO BADASS THAT WHEN SEX GETS HORNY, IT CALLS AND ASKS TO COME OVER AND HAVE ME

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Suu on December 16, 2010, 03:45:54 AM

Quote from: Richter on December 15, 2010, 09:29:48 PM
IM SO BADASS STEAKS JUMP OUT OF THE COW AND ONTO MY GRILL WHEN I SNAP MY FINGERS

IM SO BADASS THAT MILLER LIGHT APOLOGIZES FOR BEING SHITTY IF I GET NEAR IT

WHEN PEOPLE GET HORNY THEY HAVE SEX. IM SO BADASS THAT WHEN SEX GETS HORNY, IT CALLS AND ASKS TO COME OVER AND HAVE ME

Holy fuck.

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Rumckle on December 16, 2010, 05:35:09 AM

I'M SO BADASS I DON'T FINISH MY S

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞ on December 16, 2010, 05:43:41 AM

I'M SO BADASS I HAVE A ROBOTIC ANUS THAT GOES TO 11.

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: AFK on December 16, 2010, 03:05:02 PM

I'M SO BADASS
IF YOU WERE TO VISUALIZE MY BADASSNESS WITH AN ASS
IT WOULD BE THE SIZE OF MAMA CASS

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on December 16, 2010, 05:08:11 PM

I'm so badass the bus waits for me.
I'm so badass people at parties give me the strong booze they're reluctant to drink.
I'm so badass they then promptly implore me to play guitar for them.
Then I tell them I'm so badass I don't have to and my presence is enough (real reason= poor coordination at that point)

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Suu on December 16, 2010, 05:42:52 PM

I'm so badass I don't HAVE to play guitar for people, they just hear it in their minds.

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Rumckle on December 16, 2010, 10:58:12 PM

Quote from: ☄ · · · N E T · · · ☄ on December 16, 2010, 05:43:41 AM
I'M SO BADASS I HAVE A ROBOTIC ANUS THAT GOES TO 11.

I'M SO BADASS I CAN MAKE NET'S ROBOTIC ANUS GO TO 12

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: President Television on December 17, 2010, 12:03:15 AM

I'M SO BADASS I AM THE NUMBER 11 AND YOUR DIALS AND KNOBS HAVE TO GO UP TO ME

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: AFK on December 17, 2010, 01:49:17 AM

I'm do badass I write haikus with questions only!

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Rod Stewart on December 17, 2010, 01:51:10 AM

I'm so badass I'm forever young. Bitch!

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Telarus on December 17, 2010, 01:57:50 AM

I am so bad ass, this hxxp://wicca.com/forums/index.php?topic=2779.msg126284#msg126284

Also, thanks Kai, those Less Wrong series sure come in handy. :evil:

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: AFK on April 12, 2012, 04:27:06 PM

I'M SO BADASS I BUMP BADASS THREADS IN A BADASS FASHION!

BUCKLE BENEATH MY BADASS AURA!!!

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞ on April 12, 2012, 05:25:55 PM

I'M SO BADASS I ROAST A WHOLE ROTTEN DONKEY THAT'S STUFFED WITH ROTTING RECTUMS AND SERVE IT TO ROTTEN DEMOCRATS.

:hammer:

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: WretchedChan on April 12, 2012, 10:04:20 PM

Im so badass i had to increase my prices and now i get 55 dollers for a flatback instead of just 50. That is 60 extra dollers for my take home pay a DAY! WOOO! Im gonna have my new tattoo payed for in NO time!

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 12, 2012, 10:07:15 PM

What is a "Flatback"?

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: WretchedChan on April 12, 2012, 10:11:03 PM

flat on you're back 50 dollers (well 55 now LOL) vag only no oral no anal no muss no fuss. take the condom out the door wit ya buddy LOL.

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: navkat on April 12, 2012, 10:18:23 PM

Quote from: WretchedChan on April 12, 2012, 10:11:03 PM
flat on you're back 50 dollers (well 55 now LOL) vag only no oral no anal no muss no fuss. take the condom out the door wit ya buddy LOL.

Oh, WretchedChan! :facepalm:

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: EK WAFFLR on April 12, 2012, 10:19:46 PM

Ouch. :facepalm:

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 12, 2012, 10:20:37 PM

Oh, another Totse2 refugee. :|

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 12, 2012, 11:50:35 PM

Quote from: Nigel on April 12, 2012, 10:20:37 PM
Oh, another Totse2 refugee. :|

Obvious Troll Is Obvious [/obvious]

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: AFK on April 13, 2012, 12:16:33 AM

Quote from: WretchedChan on April 12, 2012, 10:04:20 PM
Im so badass i had to increase my prices and now i get 55 dollers for a flatback instead of just 50. That is 60 extra dollers for my take home pay a DAY! WOOO! Im gonna have my new tattoo payed for in NO time!

Success doesn't come cheap.

:rimshot:

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 13, 2012, 02:12:23 AM

Even Eartha has stated that she gets $250 for a toofless blowjob.

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: navkat on April 13, 2012, 03:07:01 AM

I know. That WretchedChan is such a (dare I say it?) WHORE (http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php/topic,30426.0.html).

Shhhh! I'll tell you a secret: WretchedChan is actually my 26-year-old alter. SHHHHH!Shhh. It is a secret (eyes only). For those of you who weren't around for the crazy, that thread is from when my crazy, abusive ex stole all my passwords out of the RoboForm files on my laptop, busted the laptop and commandeered all my usernames to torture me and smear my ass in the dirt. I found his choice of PD usernames to commandeer sort of fitting for the subject matter. Don't you agree?

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: AFK on April 13, 2012, 01:05:17 PM

IM SO BADASS I DONT USE APOSTROPHES IN MY CONTRACTIONS!!!

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Sir Bearington on July 27, 2012, 03:38:14 PM

Im so badass i have the balls to desecrate this thread. :fap:

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: AFK on September 01, 2012, 01:39:38 AM

I'm so badass because of stuff and other things.

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Suu on September 01, 2012, 01:40:41 AM

I'm so bad ass I'm not wearing pance.

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: AFK on March 24, 2013, 02:09:35 AM

I'M SO BADASS I BUMPED THIS STUPID THREAD.

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Richter on March 24, 2013, 04:45:42 PM

I put oil in the pasta water once.

YA WAT?

Title: Re: I'm so badass, the thread.
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on March 24, 2013, 05:51:37 PM

YOU TALKIN TO ME? YOU TALKIN TO ME? I KNOW YOU AIN'T TALKIN TO ME.

Srs. I'm so badass, I don't give a fuck who puts oil in their pasta water.

Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Two vast and trunkless legs of stone => Topic started by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on March 28, 2009, 01:21:51 AM