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You want some real horror: "Bath School"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bath_School_disaster

I was going to buy a box from Corner Fruit Guy, but he wasn't there. Why is he never there on the days I want his fruit?

Because he froze to death last winter.  That's just his ghost, haunting you all for not patronizing his business while there was still time.

Dok,
Like Doctor Seuss gone bad.

I need to know something... are you guys eating full-on Navel oranges, or those little Valencias?

Valencias are cheating, I think.  You don't half-ass this sort of thing.

okay okay okay okay okay

it was more of a "skidmark" shart than a hiroshimic trumpeting.

I came home, showered, put on fresh pants with no poop in 'em.



My stomach has ceased its open rebellion but I'm going to take a little break and let it calm down before I continue to poison myself. I AM NOT BEATEN YET!

btw... coffe + citric acid = 

This is awe-inspiring raw stupidity in the name of SCIENCE! (and gluttony)

You can't beat optimism bias.

Dok,
Answering threads 6 months late.

I don't think I can do 10. I got 9 down, but 10 is pushing it.


...And uh...does coffee count?

No! You have to eat other food too!

There's no rule about this!


PROFESSOR!!11111111111

Professor Cramulus seems to be, ah, indisposed.

"He's dead, but not necessarily out of the race."

I don't think I can do 10. I got 9 down, but 10 is pushing it.


...And uh...does coffee count?

No! You have to eat other food too!

There's no rule about this!


PROFESSOR!!11111111111

Professor Cramulus seems to be, ah, indisposed.

I'm participating in a "contest" wherein the goal is to eat as much of a non-locally-produced food as I can even if it makes me sick. 

Yeah, that kind of struck me as American.  Especially since there's no payoff other than bragging rights as the biggest glutton.

dos prompt/run/waterboarding.exe

wtf?

Uday's letter to the Generalissimo autosaved while I was in the bathroom.

I have autosave set to "first line of text".

As a result, it saved as Papa.doc

Now it's torturing my letter to Pixie, just for kicks. 

I just burped stomach acid again.

Ooooff....

Tums.

Seriously.  Your espohagus is going to look like a WWI battlefield.

(Just how much 'foul shit' can there be in one man?)

The world may never know.  I haven't nearly begun to run out of steam, and no two letters are anything alike.

I am a horrible meatsack full of hatred and loathing.  It's like a muscle.  The more you work it, the stronger it gets.

[MORE THAN A FART.]

Oh. My. Fucking. God.



It started out
                     as a fart.



and then it was
MORE THAN A FART.


I can't believe it ---



  --- I actually just crapped my pants!


              --- at work











on the bright side, looks like I'm going home early today!

Okay.  Cram has officially deified himself.

Uday's letter to the Generalissimo autosaved while I was in the bathroom.

I have autosave set to "first line of text".

As a result, it saved as Papa.doc