As some of you may be aware, I have an enduring love affair with the works of one David Icke, messiah, conspiracy theorist and ex-footballer. I have, at last, acquired all of his works and, despite the potential for acquiring mental illness, have decided to read them all, from start to finish. In this thread, I shall document anything funny, bizzare or curious in his works.
I am starting with The Robots' Rebellion. Brace yourself.
Quote from: Cain on October 27, 2008, 08:10:29 PM
As some of you may be aware, I have an enduring love affair with the works of one David Icke, messiah, conspiracy theorist and ex-footballer. I have, at last, acquired all of his works and, despite the potential for acquiring mental illness, have decided to read them all, from start to finish. In this thread, I shall document anything funny, bizzare or curious in his works.
I am starting with The Robots' Rebellion. Brace yourself.
This should be fun :D
It was because of Mr Icke's work that I first became acquainted with the phrase 'turd in the punchbowl'.
Already got one, on page xvi:
QuoteThe manipulators do not want us to know that we are eternal beings of light and love with limitless potential; nor that we can change the world by changing the way we think; and certainly not that we are all One, all equal parts of the same whole, on ajourney of evolution through experience. People who know and live all these things are not nearly so easy to control and direct.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that mean the manipulators are also eternal beings of light and love with limitless potential blady blady blah? Maybe this is tough love. I mean, they
know this, after all.
Quote from: Cain on October 27, 2008, 08:41:31 PM
Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that mean the manipulators are also eternal beings of light and love with limitless potential blady blady blah? Maybe this is tough love. I mean, they know this, after all.
I would guess that the 'We' is as opposed to 'Them', which the manipulators fall into.
Icke is the reptile alien conspiracy guy, no? are the 'manipulators' the aliens?
Quote from: Cain on October 27, 2008, 08:41:31 PM
Already got one, on page xvi:
QuoteThe manipulators do not want us to know that we are eternal beings of light and love with limitless potential; nor that we can change the world by changing the way we think; and certainly not that we are all One, all equal parts of the same whole, on ajourney of evolution through experience. People who know and live all these things are not nearly so easy to control and direct.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that mean the manipulators are also eternal beings of light and love with limitless potential blady blady blah? Maybe this is tough love. I mean, they know this, after all.
This is the correct Gnosticism a la Origen. He believed that ALL beings would be redeemed, demons included. Some modern gnostic stuff I've read suggests that adverse forces are necessary to precipitate evolution of the soul. This means that while you certainly don't want to become enslaved to demonic entities, there are still required for growth.
Quote from: Iptuous on October 27, 2008, 08:44:15 PM
Quote from: Cain on October 27, 2008, 08:41:31 PM
Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that mean the manipulators are also eternal beings of light and love with limitless potential blady blady blah? Maybe this is tough love. I mean, they know this, after all.
I would guess that the 'We' is as opposed to 'Them', which the manipulators fall into.
Icke is the reptile alien conspiracy guy, no? are the 'manipulators' the aliens?
He doesn't say. He is the guy, but this is an early book, I don't know if he had adopted the reptilian hypothesis at this point. It does seem odd though, either way.
Mmmm, hot 'Cain On Icke' action!!
:wink:
I haven't read any Icke, should I?
Quote from: Ratatosk on October 27, 2008, 08:47:03 PM
Mmmm, hot 'Cain On Icke' action!!
:wink:
I haven't read any Icke, should I?
He's amusing, and an easy read. And if you enjoy reading about how the British Royal family are all made up of shapeshifting reptilian satanists from the lower 4th dimension, then yes, Icke is your man.
Wait, I thought this was the "Cain on Ice" thread. :?
Uh oh, cheerios, its the Freemasons. Pages 38-9
QuoteOne of the most active Brotherhood organisations today are the Freemasons and they would seem to have their origins in Sumer and Egypt in the guilds of the stonemasons and craftsmen. These guilds copied many of the Brotherhood and mystery school traditions and initiations. The title Grand Master, which is common to most secret Brotherhood branches, was already being used at this time. Later, these guilds would evolve into freemasonry which is open to anyone considered acceptable (not just masons) and has been a front for some outrageous behaviour and manipulation. It aims, like the whole infiltrated Brotherhood through the centuries, to keep spiritual knowledge from the general population (the basis of that set out at the start of this book) and even twist the version it gives to its initiates. Freemasonry is, today, the major arm of the Brotherhood. Five thousand years after ancient Egypt, Albert Pike, the Grand Commander of the Supreme Council of Freemasonry in America, would describe this secret society as:
"The Custodian and depository of the great philosophical and religious truths unknown to the world at large, and handed down from
age to age by an unbroken current of tradition, embodied in symbols, emblems, and allegories."
[...]
It is part of the Freemasons' mythology that human civilisations were begun by visitors from the star Sirius which they connect with the Egyptian goddess, Isis. Sumerian stories record that these ETs were fish-like in their appearance - the 'Oannes' I mentioned before - and that they passed on information about building, spiritual symbolism, science and arts. The Egyptians certainly acknowledged the importance of Sirius to them. The Freemasonic and Brotherhood symbol of the pyramid with the capstone depicted as the all-seeing eye goes back to these ancient times, this is said to represent the eye of Sirius - although I see it as Lucifer.
[...]
Freemasonry, like most secret societies of the infiltrated Brotherhood, bases its beliefs and aims on the worship of the Sun God and Mother Goddess mythology which it is believed was common to ancient civilisations. This Father/Mother belief was reflected in the Egyptian trinity of gods - Osiris, the father, Isis, the mother, and Horus, the son. Another name often used for the Brotherhood is its Latin name, the Illuminati, or 'illuminated ones'. It may sound fantastic at this stage in our story, but the world is controlled today by a Brotherhood of secret societies which go back to this period. The swastika, the lamb, the obelisk, the apron, which some Egyptian gods are depicted as wearing, and of course the pyramid and eye are still the symbols of the Brotherhood societies.
Page 47
QuotePlato was a man of courage and spoke out against tyranny.
:x
Quote from: Cain on October 27, 2008, 09:52:51 PM
Page 47
QuotePlato was a man of courage and spoke out against tyranny.
:x
Well... maybe he just got a bad rap from the MSM.
:lol: I can't wait for your input on this Cain! I love Icke, but I've only read his Children of the Matrix and part of his Alice in Wonderland. I'd really like to get The Robots' Rebellion but... I think I'll put it on my Christmas list. :wink: I bet my Uncle will get it for me.
How does one pronounce Icke?
Quote from: Rabid Badger of God on October 28, 2008, 06:25:51 AM
How does one pronounce Icke?
pronounced /ˈaɪk/, apparently. I've always pronounced it the same as Ike.
Raphaella, I would honestly suggest getting The Biggest Secret, its probably his best book. His most lunatic, too. Its got everything, especially the Reptilians. All in glorious detail as well.
Quote from: Cain on October 28, 2008, 09:52:18 AM
Quote from: Rabid Badger of God on October 28, 2008, 06:25:51 AM
How does one pronounce Icke?
pronounced /ˈaɪk/, apparently. I've always pronounced it the same as Ike.
All the important people - him, his wife, Terry Wogan - pronounce it as 'Ike'.
Ah, Terry Wogan...good times indeed.
Also, it would seem Madonna is in on the International One World Government conspiracy:
QuoteThe Brotherhood is also extremely strong and active in Israel and the Jewish culture in general today with its mystical expression, the kabbalah, also reflecting the classic practices of Brotherhood societies. The Order of Melchizadek is kabbalistic and promotes the philosophy of a world government which is the aim of the negative Brotherhood movement.
Page 57
QuoteSolomon's temple was nothing more than a slaughterhouse with a stream of animals being sacrificed daily to gratify the perceived desires of Jehovah. A high priest and an army of 30,000 'lesser' priests were supported by the contributions of the people to carry out this butchery. Their job had nothing to do with spirituality. They were nothing more than slaughterhouse workers. The priests, who were now taking over in their religion from the mediums and channellers as the accepted source of Jehovah's will, announced that their god preferred the sacrifice of animals rather than crops and vegetation. The crops, you see, had to be burned as part of the sacrifice, but the animals only had to be killed and the priests then had the right to eat or sell the carcass. This same mentality was still alive in the 17th century when the first lighthouse was planned.
It might just be me, but that last sentence cracks me up.
Page 62
QuoteIn the American west there was once a farmer called Maverick who refused to brand his animals. The word maverick became used to describe people who refuse to be branded and linked to one organisation or group. I think that under that definition of the word, Jesus was a maverick.
Jesus and McCain are like soulmates.
There's got to be pterodactyls in there somewhere.
Quote from: Cain on October 28, 2008, 11:24:27 AM
Page 57
QuoteSolomon's temple was nothing more than a slaughterhouse with a stream of animals being sacrificed daily to gratify the perceived desires of Jehovah. A high priest and an army of 30,000 'lesser' priests were supported by the contributions of the people to carry out this butchery. Their job had nothing to do with spirituality. They were nothing more than slaughterhouse workers. The priests, who were now taking over in their religion from the mediums and channellers as the accepted source of Jehovah's will, announced that their god preferred the sacrifice of animals rather than crops and vegetation. The crops, you see, had to be burned as part of the sacrifice, but the animals only had to be killed and the priests then had the right to eat or sell the carcass. This same mentality was still alive in the 17th century when the first lighthouse was planned.
It might just be me, but that last sentence cracks me up.
LOL, WUT? That is the strangest non sequitur I've ever seen. Does he ever explain what lighthouses have to do with ancient Hebrew slaughterhouses or does he just let that sentence sit there?
This is glorious. Keep it up Cain, very little in this world is as funny as Icke.
I personally pronounce is "ick" because its funnier. At least to me.
Quote from: Iason Ouabache on October 30, 2008, 11:16:50 PMLOL, WUT? That is the strangest non sequitur I've ever seen. Does he ever explain what lighthouses have to do with ancient Hebrew slaughterhouses or does he just let that sentence sit there?
Yeah, he does explain. Lighthouses got paid by looting wrecked ships.
Quote from: Hoopla on October 31, 2008, 04:51:25 PM
This is glorious. Keep it up Cain, very little in this world is as funny as Icke.
I personally pronounce is "ick" because its funnier. At least to me.
I'll try, though it'll be hard with Nanowrimo coming up.
Quote from: Cain on October 28, 2008, 11:21:57 AM
Ah, Terry Wogan...good times indeed.
Icke, as I remember, holds the dubious honour of being perhaps the only person on the planet to make that perennial knob-end Littlejohn look like a reasonable man.
(To give you some idea just how much of a knob-end Littlejohn is, well, he once got pwned by Michael Winner.)
So, I've decided to read Children of the Matrix. Someone insisted that I borrow it about five years ago, and it's still knocking around.
Besides being easy to read, I can't help but feel I could be doing something more useful with my time. Nineteen pages in and my attention span keeps wandering off.
Chapter one is basically going on about how the Illuminati control every aspect of your lives because people are kept stupid and don't seem to notice.
Chapter two is about history in general and how it is wrong (all of it, except for Icke's favourite version of events.) It's funny how he starts out a chapter about the errors of history by strongly criticising religion. No mention of narrative competence yet either.
Atlantis, Lemuria, blah blah. All pretty boring so far, apart from Atlantis worshipping technology above the idea that WE ARE ALL ONE™. They then used the Earth as a conductor to channel the energy of one of their super-weapons against their enemies. This epicly backfired and caused a major cataclysm which sent Atlantis and Lemuria under.
Chapter 4 now and I'm bored shitless. Law of fives saturated gibberish.
Leaving with a few quotes:
QuoteIn the 1950s, the Russian-born writer and researcher, Immanuel Velikovsky, suggested in a series of books that the planet we now call Venus (then a vast comet-like body) was the cause of both the demise of Mars and the near-demise of the Earth when it hurled through the solar system. Velikovsky was ridiculed and bitterly attacked by the "scientific" establishment and so he must have been saying something worth hearing.
QuoteThe number 23 was important to the Dogons, as it was to the Egyptians and the Babylonians. Some researchers say this was connected to the heliacal rising on July 23rd when Sirius, the Earth, and the Sun are in a staight line. Others speculate that this could create a "star gate" connection between the two systems, a sort of interdimensional (inter-density) portal.
:x
He does go on a bit, doesn't he?
I also assumed I had better things to do with my time, especially reading wise, and to leave the brain-rot for another day.
Also, ZOMG23PINEALGLANDLOL!
Ah, Velikovski.
Another one of those, "probably wrong, but was derided rather than debunked" kind of guys.
Is anything not a conspiracy according to Icke?
Quote from: nurbldoff on January 16, 2009, 04:13:06 PM
Is anything not a conspiracy according to Icke?
No, and anyone who would even appear to consider such a possibility is obviously in on it :tinfoilhat:
Quote from: Cain on October 31, 2008, 05:06:30 PM
Quote from: Iason Ouabache on October 30, 2008, 11:16:50 PMLOL, WUT? That is the strangest non sequitur I've ever seen. Does he ever explain what lighthouses have to do with ancient Hebrew slaughterhouses or does he just let that sentence sit there?
Yeah, he does explain. Lighthouses got paid by looting wrecked ships.
But but but... lighthouses exist to prevent shipwrecks. Does he explain the contradiction?
Quote from: So Can A Furby on January 19, 2009, 05:03:27 PM
But but but... lighthouses exist to prevent shipwrecks. Does he explain the contradiction?
Like every other contradiction in his ramblings, of course not.
I tried to read The Children Of The Matrix for laughs and had the same experience as Xooxe. It bored the living daylights out of me.
The book he wrote about his journey of accidental enlightenment in Brazil (or wherever it was) took the biscuit though. It was a real page-turner until the 'lightning & rain just for him moment' where he felt God enter him. That part became uncomfortable to read because it was obvious that the phenomena he was experiencing was the onset of full-blown mania.
HILLARIOUS THREAD!!!
excellent bumpin.
Quote from: CynicalCichilid on January 20, 2009, 05:07:11 AM
Quote from: So Can A Furby on January 19, 2009, 05:03:27 PM
But but but... lighthouses exist to prevent shipwrecks. Does he explain the contradiction?
Like every other contradiction in his ramblings, of course not.
I tried to read The Children Of The Matrix for laughs and had the same experience as Xooxe. It bored the living daylights out of me.
The book he wrote about his journey of accidental enlightenment in Brazil (or wherever it was) took the biscuit though. It was a real page-turner until the 'lightning & rain just for him moment' where he felt God enter him. That part became uncomfortable to read because it was obvious that the phenomena he was experiencing was the onset of full-blown mania.
Interestingly, there is probably no difference between mania and religious experience except in terms of lasting effect and the meaning given to the event. I did study religious experiences for a while, in philosophy and the similarity between certain visions and, say, what happened to Phillip K Dick as described in VALIS only seems to be that the former had filters which allowed them to interpret their experiences via a socially acceptable religion.
QuoteBut but but... lighthouses exist to prevent shipwrecks. Does he explain the contradiction?
Yes. The people who actually operated and manned the lighthouses profited more from not saving the ships. Just in the same way the people who operate and run the INTERDIMENSIONAL REPTILIAN ANCIENT CONSPIRACY profit more from sacraficing the human population via wars and disease than looking after them.
Or something.
Somewhere out there, there has to be a reptilian conspiracy theorist, foaming at the mouth about mantis brain parasites from the sixth dimension.
Yes, I bet Icke is one of them.
FACT: Praying Mantis looking aliens are, apparently, commonly sighted by people who believe they have undergone alien abduction.
The title of this thread ALWAYS makes me think of really uncomfortable porn.
WOMP CABAL TO THE RESCUE
(//)
Whew, now that we've got THAT out of our system...
:lol:
DAVID ICKE WAS RIGHT!
THE SONG:
http://www.davidicke.com/content/view/18446/83/
Quote from: Broken AI on January 21, 2009, 03:08:10 PM
QuoteSomewhere out there, there has to be a reptilian conspiracy theorist, foaming at the mouth about mantis brain parasites from the sixth dimension.
Yes, I bet Icke is one of them.
Most "serious" reptiod theorists, believe that Mr. Icke has in fact been taken over by the reptiods (or in some cases Project Monarch) and is being used as a mouthpiece by the NWO to herald the onset of the One World Religion.
:x
I worded it badly but I was imagining an ACTUAL reptilian agent sat somewhere shitting himself about brain mantis conspiracies.
BUMP
because I saw a guest reading this thread
and then I was like, "I should use the wrath of ms paint to depict rule 34 on the thread subject"
and then luckily I already did
Quote from: Cramulus on January 21, 2009, 02:50:46 AM
WOMP CABAL TO THE RESCUE
The moon is actually a space station that has hacked into our brains and is beaming a false reality straight into our heads.
http://davidickebooks.co.uk/index.php?act=viewProd&productId=246 (http://davidickebooks.co.uk/index.php?act=viewProd&productId=246)
:lulz:
Quote from: Cain on January 20, 2009, 09:44:31 AM
Quote from: CynicalCichilid on January 20, 2009, 05:07:11 AM
Quote from: So Can A Furby on January 19, 2009, 05:03:27 PM
But but but... lighthouses exist to prevent shipwrecks. Does he explain the contradiction?
Like every other contradiction in his ramblings, of course not.
I tried to read The Children Of The Matrix for laughs and had the same experience as Xooxe. It bored the living daylights out of me.
The book he wrote about his journey of accidental enlightenment in Brazil (or wherever it was) took the biscuit though. It was a real page-turner until the 'lightning & rain just for him moment' where he felt God enter him. That part became uncomfortable to read because it was obvious that the phenomena he was experiencing was the onset of full-blown mania.
Interestingly, there is probably no difference between mania and religious experience except in terms of lasting effect and the meaning given to the event. I did study religious experiences for a while, in philosophy and the similarity between certain visions and, say, what happened to Phillip K Dick as described in VALIS only seems to be that the former had filters which allowed them to interpret their experiences via a socially acceptable religion.
Funny thing is Phil was quite fond of conspiracy theories as well. One of his favorite theories was that our reality was some sort of reincarnation of ancient Rome and that Richard Nixon was actually Nero. Of course one of the primary differences is that Phil didnt latch onto his theories as truth and start parading them them around and that Phil was quite unsure of his ideas and frequently dropped or changed theories.
It does make you wonder, Ive heard theories that perhaps all religious leaders experienced the exact same phenomenon(What exactly that phenomenon is subject to debate). This phenomenon is indescribable in its true form so the person in question uses whatever spiritual vocabulary is available to him to try and understand what happened. Jesus knew of the prophecy of the Messiah so he said that was who he was. Phillip K Dick was a science fiction writer, so he described the experience as something pertaining to science fiction(VALIS).
Perhaps Icke experienced this once in a lifetime mysterious theoretic phenomenon but is too much of an idiot to relay it in an intelligent manner so instead he rambles on about reptiles... or perhaps hes just a mild Bi-Polar. The world may never know.
/paranoia
:fnord:
Also, here is a deleted interview with Icke from Religulous.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TidD_MnrfHI&feature=related
He once saw the popes eyes turn reptilian.
Quote from: Cain on October 28, 2008, 09:52:18 AM
Quote from: Rabid Badger of God on October 28, 2008, 06:25:51 AM
How does one pronounce Icke?
pronounced /ˈaɪk/, apparently. I've always pronounced it the same as Ike.
Raphaella, I would honestly suggest getting The Biggest Secret, its probably his best book. His most lunatic, too. Its got everything, especially the Reptilians. All in glorious detail as well.
So much more fun to pronounce it icky.
Quote from: Kingderp on August 14, 2010, 05:04:34 AM
Also, here is a deleted interview with Icke from Religulous.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TidD_MnrfHI&feature=related
He once saw the popes eyes turn reptilian.
:memnoch2:
WTF is wrong with this guy??
Quote from: Iason Ouabache on August 15, 2010, 08:10:08 AM
Quote from: Kingderp on August 14, 2010, 05:04:34 AM
Also, here is a deleted interview with Icke from Religulous.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TidD_MnrfHI&feature=related
He once saw the popes eyes turn reptilian.
:memnoch2:
WTF is wrong with this guy??
The main problem with that guy appears to be morbid obesity.
Cain are you still reading though Icke?
or did it end?
If there really is a huge global conspiracy, of ancient dynastic bloodlines stretching back like, forever, involving a coalition of reptilians, aliens, and illuminated hybridised humans, (And I'm not saying there's not) then they must be really shitting themselves now that David (call me "Dave") Icke is onto them! :lulz:
I once registered on his forum (and was promptly banned) and when I did so my email was added to his mailing list, and there appears to be no way of having it removed. :x
Quote from: Nigel on September 01, 2011, 12:52:02 AM
I once registered on his forum (and was promptly banned) and when I did so my email was added to his mailing list, and there appears to be no way of having it removed. :x
Bitch to his service provider.
Is it bad that I initially expected slashfic from this fread? Cain/Icke. That would be hilarious.... :lulz: