Inspired by a group chat with some friends.
Template here if anyone is likewise inspired: http://i.imgur.com/BsO2pgp.jpg (http://i.imgur.com/BsO2pgp.jpg)
The quip that started it all (font used here is Adobe Hebrew):
(http://i.imgur.com/OHX3l2Rl.jpg)
Ominous fortune cookie lends itself rather well to some of the Five Word Horrors out there. A couple of my favorites:
(http://i.imgur.com/wgx57aJl.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/bKckeE3l.jpg)
And a couple more that were made before things started feeling a little too grim for a beautiful Friday like today:
(http://i.imgur.com/7I2DD53l.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/TbytyBRl.jpg)
Well... ok but just 8 times. Maybe more later but no promises.
I have a few suggestions I came up with a while ago for a similar thread on another forum:
"Warm feelings will not protect you from dying of hypothermia"
"Keep your eyes open and you will see true horrors"
"You have a reputation for being brusque and overly blunt"
"Someone close to you is waiting for you to die"
"Life is too short to stay married"
"Your efforts will go unrewarded"
"An unpleasant surprise is waiting for you"
"Consume less. You're fat enough now"
"A very attractive person has an insult for you"
"There is no greater pleasure than necrophilia"
"Your will find the answers you seek, but learn that you have asked the wrong questions"
"You will flee to many exotic places in your lifetime"
"A bird in the hand will shit on you"
"Follow your bliss and poverty will follow"
"Money cannot buy happiness, buy it can buy Ecstacy"
""You have failed"
"Evil will always win because good is dumb"
"Freedom and love are temporary illusions created by an intellect trying to justify an existence without meaning or purpose"
"Man has no preeminence above the beasts, for everything is meaningless"
"You will be denied an award due to suspicions of doping"
"Adversity is the parent of injury"
"Necessity is the mother of starvation"
"Serious trouble will befall you"
"You will bring ruin to those that you love"
"Your thoughtlessness is a detriment to others"
"You will be plagued by nightmares"
"They're coming to get you"
"Illuminati run the country. Wear a hat made out of foil"
"You will get diabetes from eating too many cookies"
"Your lover has been unfaithful"
"Criminals will find your posessions pleasing"
"There are some things man was not meant to know"
"Hot times await you in the next world"
"Nothing is certain except death and taxes"
"The police are catching up to you"
"You will find misery in a new career"
"You will be revealed as a fraud"
"Your house is being robbed"
"You will be haunted by the past"
"You excel at failure"
"Beelzebub has a devil set aside for you"
"You will find true love in a cemetary"
"Death stalks us all"
"Repent, for the end is near"
"You will develop an embarassing medical problem"
"A secret admirer is stalking you"
"Now is the time to take a long walk off a short pier"
"Rest has a detrimental effect on your career"
"Attenuate your desires"
"You will be taken advantage of for your patience and understanding"
"An exciting disease in in your future"
"You will be given the chance to take part in an exciting crime"
"Death waits for no one"
"An acquaintance will frame you for murder"
"Poverty is in your future"
"A surgeon will misread your chart"
"Nobody can do the impossible"
"Superior technology will triumph over the human spirit"
"You are never helpful with your help or advice"
"You will endure razot-sharp edged criticism today"
"A family member will yell at you"
"Laugh at the grief that poisons your heart"
"Tomorrow will be worse"
"Your spouse will find happiness with a new love"
"The cure for grief is suicide"
"A live dog is better than a dead lion"
"With an abundance of wisdom comes an abundance of grief"
"He who increases his wisdom increases too his sorrow"
"A devious lie could save your life"
"Look what you have done. There will be no forgiveness"
"All of your sorrows will vanish after death"
"Your success will inspire feelings of sour-grapes"
"The thing you dread will be worse than you imagined"
"You are forever cursed"
"You have made a terrible mistake"
"Hormone therapy is no substitute for a womb"
"You will die alone and unremembered"
"You will be disfigured but nobody will notice"
"People are laughing behind your back"
"Your failure will be celebrated"
"Your value system is dying"
"You will free yourself of ignorance only to latch on to folly"
"No amount of success can stave off senescence and death"
"Trophies and awards are no comfort on your deathbed"
"Someone dangerously incompetant will be given authority over you"
"If you run as fast as you can you may have a chance of not falling behind"
"You will suffer a humiliating injury"
"You will die an untimely death"
"Do not stop seeking until you find, and when you find you will be disturbed"
"Don't bother looking for fault, it is all around you"
"There is inequity in the places of justice"
"That which is crooked cannot be made straight"
"You will have a reaction to MSG"
"There is not a man on earth who does good and sins not"
"Your co-workers take pleasure in your gullibility"
"You will be mistaken for a criminal"
"Decrepitude is in your future"
"You are a person who can be safely ignored"
"A wrongful conviction os in store for you"
"There is nothing you can do to correct your mistakes"
"'Fortune-Telling is the beginning of Ignorance' -Tao Te Ching 38"
"'When the Tao is forgotten, there is righteousness. When righteousness is forgotten, there is morality. When morality is forgotten, there are law and ritual; these have only the superficial appearance of goodness' -Tao Te Ching 38"
"'The highest virtue is inaction' -Tao Te Ching 38"
"It takes a bad memory to have good memories"
"Don't cry, it's a waste of good suffering"
"Your suffering will be legendary, even in Hell"
"There is a secret song at the center of the world and it's sound is like razors through flesh"
"Your car is being stolen"
"Your lover will laugh at your small penis"
"The worst is still to come"
"Death is only the beginning"
"Flies are naturally attracted to you"
"A shiv is your passport into the hearts of others"
"Fleeing adversity is the source of your strength"
"Land is always on the mind of a falling lemming"
"You cannot love life until you get your daily fix"
"You will become narcissisistic if you believe in yourself"
"You will have to pay your lover"
"Keep an eye out for muggers"
"Now is the time to try heroin"
"A new voyage will fill your life with untold misery"
"Death awaits you very soon"
"Your natural incompetance dooms you to failure"
"Now is the time to abandon your convictions"
"Stop worrying and agonizing. Give up."
"Your darkest dream is coming true"
"Life does not get better by chance, only worse"
"Do not worry, you will have great peace in the grave"
"A detractor is hiding his or her contempt for you"
"You will be rewarded for being a kiss-ass this week"
"A close friend will betray you"
"You will soon debunk a miracle"
"War conquers all"
"The early worm gets the bird"
"Hope brings about disappointment"
"Trying is the first step towards failure"
"You will acquire a fortune"
"Today is not your lucky day"
"You will go on a long journey for 6-10 years when the cops catch on to you"
"Machiavelli Say: 'It is better to be feared than loved'"
"Machiavelli say: 'There are two methods of fighting, the one by law, the other by force; as the first is often insufficient, one must have recourse to the second'"
"Machiavelli say: 'A prince never lacks legitimate reasons to break his promise'"
"A nightmare you have will come true"
"Your best friend will marry your lover"
"If you feel you are right, you're even stupider than you look"
"Everyone agrees. You are the worst."
"Your golden opportunity passed by recently"
"You will always be surrounded by sycophants"
"Stop dreaming. Start giving up."
"Sinister forces control your destiny"
"Fortune favors the rich"
"A journety of 25000 miles will take you nowhere"
"Happiness comes from a good lie"
"You will be unsuccessful in love"
"A lifetime of heartache is in store for you"
"Nothing ever happens for a reason"
"God is dead"
"When you have become old and wise you will also be withered and crippled"
"Failure is an opportunity for admonition"
"Neitzsche say: 'What is good? All that heighten feeling of power'"
"Neitzsche say: 'There are no facts, only interpretations'"
"Neitzsche say: 'Whoever not have two-thirds of day for himself, is a slave, whatever he may be: a statesman, a businessman, an official, or a scholar'"
"Neitzsche say: 'Convictions more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.'"
"Neitzsche say: 'Visit to an asylum show you how little belief worth'"
"Neitzsche say: 'Merit itself is offensive.'"
"Neitzsche say: 'Unpleasant, dangerous, qualities can be found in every nation and every individual.'"
"Neitzsche say: 'Whoever fight monsters risk becoming a monster'"
You are Donald Trump ~ RUN!
Great stuff here. Shandor's is a goldmine.
"A letter of great importance will reach you after it's too late"
"Your true love will expose himself to you under the moonlight"
"the instrument of your death draws closer"
"All recrimination occurs because people dare to be different"
"You have a flair for adding a spurious dimension to any story"
"You have a deep appreciation of shallow media"
"You will become acquainted with liability law"
"You are a lover of words, but one day you will shut up"
"Your emotional nature is histrionic and overwrought"
"Sources hazy, try again"
"When you look down all you see is dirt; when you look up all you see is emptiness"
"Integrity is doing the right thing, even when it's a bad idea"
"You are not judged by the efforts you put in, you are judged by caprice"
"One does not simply walk into Mordor"
"You will be broken on Fortune's wheel"
"Serious romance is the restless ghost of infatuation"
"Nobody can reach the end of the rainbow"
"Fair is foul and foul is fair"
"Faith is a useless emotion"
"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and in strange eons even death may die"
"Keep following your dreams and you'll be in for a rude awakening"
"The 10-year-old girl who stamped out the dough for this cookie wishes you the best."
"A life without adventure is a life of maturity and realism."
"No one wants to know your fortune."
"Forgive yourself. You know what for."
"The voices can hear you, too."
"Don't look behind you."
"You are an extra in someone else's movie."
"You will not die alone. You'll be with me."
Vex I'm not sure why, but after all the cool suggestions from you and Shandor I felt that the message from your avatar was the one to do just now.
That works too. Haha
Your true self is being hauled off by dingoes.
Fresh batch here. Extra virgin!
"Hold this under your tongue" made me snort and share.
Cheers, TWJ!
Quote from: Ziegejunge on March 30, 2017, 07:02:20 PM
"Hold this under your tongue" made me snort and share.
Cheers, TWJ!
:putin:
"Rarely do great beauty and great virtue dwell together and you are no exception"
"there are lessons to be learned by eavesdropping on others"
"Love takes practice. Sleep around.
"You'll pay to inow what you really think"
"You are a fluke of the universe"
"You will be rewarded for your ignorance and brutality"
"Self-esteem and self-delusion are one and the same"
"Benefit by doing things that are forbidden"
"Hope is wasted on the hopeless"
"Qoheleth say" 'Everything is meaningless'"
"Sartre say: 'Hell is other people'"
"You will live in interesting times"
"People are things"
"You will discover your hidden weaknesses"
"Failure comes from within"
"You have the incompetence within you"
"Lord NHGH gazes upon you"
EDIT:
"Qoheleth say: 'The living know that they shall die: but the dead know not any thing'"
"Qoheleth say: 'As the fishes that are taken in an evil net, and as the birds that are caught in the snare; so are the sons of men snared in an evil time, when it falleth suddenly upon them.'"
EDIT:
"Kill yourself"
EDIT:
"[Starkweather say] 'Dead people are all on the same level'"
"Ted Bundy say: 'Guilt. It's this mechanism we use to control people. It's an illusion. It's a kind of social control mechanism and it's very unhealthy.'"
"Ted Bundy say: 'When you feel the last bit of breath leaving their body, you're looking into their eyes. A person in that situation is God.""
"The light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming vehicle"
"Retribution is on it's way"
"All troubles that you have end quickly when you pass away"
"In the eyes of drunkards everythig is beautiful"
"Charles Manson say: 'how do communicate to a whole group of people? You stand up and take the worst fear symbol and say "There, now I've got your fear. Now I've got your fear." And your fear is your power and your power is your control'"
"Resist the temptation to let your instincts guide you"
"Make a budget or lose your house"
"You know where you want to go, but you cannot get there from here"
"[The Sith say:] 'Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to power. Power leads to victory. Through victory one's chains are broken. [The force will set you free.]'"
"Enthisiastic leadership gets you a promotion when you least deserve it"
"Others enjoy your money"
"A tearful message is on it's way to you"
"Don't get caught"
"You will be selected for a promotion due to an underling's accomplishments"
Marvelous!
I kinda want to take this list to a manufacturer and make IRL meme-cookies to sell in gigantic bags to fund PD. But that requires capital layout and actual ambition, both of which I currently lack in an extreme way.
"An honest day's work is the most blasphemous of all false idols"
"Macbeth say: 'Life is like a tale told by an idiot: Full of sound and fury signifying nothing'"
"Lovecraft Say: ''Good, evil, morality, and feelings: Pure victorian fictions'"
"Keep your crimes secret for now"
"It is unreasonable to expect the impossible"
"Nobody can give 110 percent"
"A thrilling catastrophe is in store for you"
"Your success will shatter the presuppositions of your friends and loved ones"
"An unexpexted death will bring your life into greater perspective"
"You are never useful with your advice or help"
"You will always be surrounded by false friends"
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on April 17, 2017, 10:10:22 PM
I kinda want to take this list to a manufacturer and make IRL meme-cookies to sell in gigantic bags to fund PD. But that requires capital layout and actual ambition, both of which I currently lack in an extreme way.
You can just order custom fortune cookies. Or even make your own; apparently it's not hard, though I haven't tried it.
https://fortunecookieplanet.com/
http://www.food.com/recipe/fortune-cookies-110768
Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 29, 2017, 05:44:26 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on April 17, 2017, 10:10:22 PM
I kinda want to take this list to a manufacturer and make IRL meme-cookies to sell in gigantic bags to fund PD. But that requires capital layout and actual ambition, both of which I currently lack in an extreme way.
You can just order custom fortune cookies. Or even make your own; apparently it's not hard, though I haven't tried it.
https://fortunecookieplanet.com/
http://www.food.com/recipe/fortune-cookies-110768
Hmmm... noted for later consumption :)
Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 29, 2017, 05:44:26 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on April 17, 2017, 10:10:22 PM
I kinda want to take this list to a manufacturer and make IRL meme-cookies to sell in gigantic bags to fund PD. But that requires capital layout and actual ambition, both of which I currently lack in an extreme way.
You can just order custom fortune cookies. Or even make your own; apparently it's not hard, though I haven't tried it.
https://fortunecookieplanet.com/
http://www.food.com/recipe/fortune-cookies-110768
Almost everything from the redbubble store would look amazing like this!
Many of the maxims from this list would fit:
http://www.murphyslaws.net/edition.htm
EDIT:
or here: http://murphys-laws.com/murphy/murphy-miscellaneous.html
or here: https://www.angelo.edu/faculty/kboudrea/cheap/cheap3_murphy.htm
(http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f5/ExoMani/Please%20Disregard.jpg) (http://s44.photobucket.com/user/ExoMani/media/Please%20Disregard.jpg.html)
"You will die in seven days"
"Inoperable"
"All is lost"
(http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f5/ExoMani/Out_of_Service.jpg) (http://s44.photobucket.com/user/ExoMani/media/Out_of_Service.jpg.html)
How about famous quotes from badly translated videogames...
"All your base are belong to us"
"You must defeat Sheng Long to stand a chance"
People! Must I be really be the one to remind you that we're dealing with Chinese fortune cookies here?!
The operative word being 'Chinese'!
Now then, who is the most famous writer in Chinese literature?
Seriously, you've been doing this for almost three (3) months now, and in all that time not one of you has written a "Confucius say ..." fortune cookie?!
Well, I for one, will not allow an entire cultural genre to be ignored!
(http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f5/ExoMani/Confucius_Hell_Bound.jpg) (http://s44.photobucket.com/user/ExoMani/media/Confucius_Hell_Bound.jpg.html)
Quote from: Brother Mythos on June 22, 2017, 05:03:05 AM
People! Must I be really be the one to remind you that we're dealing with Chinese fortune cookies here?!
The operative word being 'Chinese'!
Now then, who is the most famous writer in Chinese literature?
Chairman Mao?
Quote from: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on June 22, 2017, 06:10:56 AM
Quote from: Brother Mythos on June 22, 2017, 05:03:05 AM
People! Must I be really be the one to remind you that we're dealing with Chinese fortune cookies here?!
The operative word being 'Chinese'!
Now then, who is the most famous writer in Chinese literature?
Chairman Mao?
Buy 'em books! Send 'em to school ... oh, what's the use?!
That Mao is quite quotable.
Quote from: Brother Mythos on June 22, 2017, 05:03:05 AM
People! Must I be really be the one to remind you that we're dealing with Chinese fortune cookies here?!
The operative word being 'Chinese'!
Now then, who is the most famous writer in Chinese literature?
Lu Xun.
(http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f5/ExoMani/Confucius_Circus.jpg) (http://s44.photobucket.com/user/ExoMani/media/Confucius_Circus.jpg.html)
Quote from: Brother Mythos on June 22, 2017, 05:03:05 AM
People! Must I be really be the one to remind you that we're dealing with Chinese fortune cookies here?!
The operative word being 'Chinese'!
Now then, who is the most famous writer in Chinese literature?
Lao Tzu
(http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f5/ExoMani/Confucius_Ignorance.jpg) (http://s44.photobucket.com/user/ExoMani/media/Confucius_Ignorance.jpg.html)
"You are the MSG of the earth"
(http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f5/ExoMani/Confucius_Heart.jpg) (http://s44.photobucket.com/user/ExoMani/media/Confucius_Heart.jpg.html)
(http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f5/ExoMani/Confucius_Life_Is_Simple.jpg) (http://s44.photobucket.com/user/ExoMani/media/Confucius_Life_Is_Simple.jpg.html)
(http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f5/ExoMani/Confucius_Nice_Things.jpg) (http://s44.photobucket.com/user/ExoMani/media/Confucius_Nice_Things.jpg.html)
(http://i.imgur.com/fAicnM3.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/R8ii8PG.jpg)
I can't see either of those last two images
Neither can I
WARNING! Do Not Consume.
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on July 10, 2017, 12:01:49 AM
I can't see either of those last two images
Quote from: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on July 10, 2017, 08:23:35 AM
Neither can I
I had been using Photobucket for stuff like this, but they're now demanding a ransom for sharing photos.
I'm now experimenting with Google Photos. My shares were visible when I first set them up. Perhaps Google Photos only allows sharing when I'm actually on-line.
I don't do the Facebook, or Twitter thing, etc. So, can anyone recommend a decent photo sharing site that operates similar to pre-ransom Photobucket?
postimg maybe
I've verified that Goolge Photos only permits 3rd party sharing while I am both on the Internet and logged into Google. The Goolge Photos site provides zero information about how it's supposed to work. My use of it, so far, has been trial and error.
Is direct posting of JPG files via attachment permitted on this forum? I ask because some forums do not allow this practice.
Quote from: Brother Mythos on July 10, 2017, 10:06:54 PM
I've verified that Goolge Photos only permits 3rd party sharing while I am both on the Internet and logged into Google. The Goolge Photos site provides zero information about how it's supposed to work. My use of it, so far, has been trial and error.
Is direct posting of JPG files via attachment permitted on this forum? I ask because some forums do not allow this practice.
I think I've been doing it pretty much this whole thread. Can you not see them? :?
Quote from: Brother Mythos on July 10, 2017, 10:06:54 PM
I've verified that Goolge Photos only permits 3rd party sharing while I am both on the Internet and logged into Google. The Goolge Photos site provides zero information about how it's supposed to work. My use of it, so far, has been trial and error.
Is direct posting of JPG files via attachment permitted on this forum? I ask because some forums do not allow this practice.
See below.
I use imgur for all of my third party posting, haven't had a problem yet and I'm pretty abusive about it.
Imgur is best image hosting. It is known
Thank all of you for your replies.
I did try re-posting as an attachment, and it did work.
I'm going to give Imgur a try.
Thanks again.
(http://i.imgur.com/5Ji45oI.jpg)
Thanks to Prelate Diogenes Shandor, Q. G. Pennyworth, and Cain. Imgur is great.
(http://i.imgur.com/pEeRQoi.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/gMRJF6b.jpg)
"Please update your account to enable fortune"
"We Analyzed 1,000 Fortune Cookies To Unlock Their Secrets"
From the article: "Are fortune cookie 'lucky numbers' actually lucky? Lucky? Don't be ridiculous, of course they're — It's complicated."
Here's the link: http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/fortune-cookie-math/
Love it!
(http://i.imgur.com/VnTnWJW.jpg)
"Roger Alan Wade say: 'If you're gonna be dumb you gotta be tough'"
"Bush did 9/11"
"Nothing is true. Everything is dismissable"
"A dong is a man's best friend"
"All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."
"You have sown the wind and will reap the whirlwind"
"Dare to be stupid"
"Workers of the world unite!"
"Wait for the sign, then all prisoners will be released"
"Yog-Sothoth is the key and the gate, and with the gate open the Old Ones shall be"
"They live. We sleep"
"Snoop Dogg say: 'Smoke weed every day'"
"There is no limit to folly"
"Trust no one"
"A new war will bring great change to your life"
"Like climbing a mountain, life gets harder near the end"
"You are contemplating some action which will ruin your credit rating"
"Death conquers all"
"One who has no dignity to start with can never be humiliated"
"Hate is never conquered by hate. Love is conquered by hate."
"Everything is false in some sense"
"Foes long absent are coming back to you"
"With age comes dementia"
"There is nothing better in life than to crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women"
"It can always get worse"
"Do not harden your heart, the food will do that for you"
"Never try"
"A positive change will be reverted today"
"A fool and his money are soon elected"
"Lampoon say: 'Whether you can hear it or not the universe is laughing behind your back'"
"There are no solutions, only a choice of problems"
"You are the MSG of the Earth"
"To stand a chance you must defeat Sheng Long"
"You are of your father, the Devil, and what he desires of you ye shall do"
"It's all downhill from here"
"You have the death curse now"
"You are forever cursed"
"Even a man who is pure of heart and says his prayers by night may become a wolf when the wolfsbane blooms and the autumn moon is bright"
"As you value your life or your reason keep away from the moor"
"Tonight you will get your dick ripped off" (fortune seen on Aqua Teen Hunger Force)
"Bad luck and extreme misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity" (fortune cookie seen on Rocko's Modern Life)
"Better is the end of a thing than it's beginning"
"Duty is the thief of time"
"Responsibility is the thief of time"
"Commitment is the thief of time"
"Nothing excels like excess"
"As the rain enters the soil, and the river enters the sea, so tears run to a predestined end"
"Why so serious?"
"Cleanliness is next to impossible"
"Shit is thicker than water"
"Upset the established order and everythig becomes chaos"
"Some men just want to watch the world burn"
"Madness is like gravity, all it takes is a little push"
"Here is wisdom! He who is having the understanding, let him count the number of the beast, for the number of a man it is, and its number is six hundred and sixty six."
"The meek shall inherit nothing"
"You will witness a murder"
"Masturbation is a present you give yourself"
"A thrilling crime is in your near future"
"If you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get nothing"
"Something you hid will soon turn up"
"Jet fuel can't melt steel beams"
EDIT:
"If you push something hard enough it will fall over"
"They say a man can only be alone for so long before the man's mind is gone"
"Anyone who can live without society is either a beast or a god"
EDIT:
"It's later than you think"
EDIT:
"Your corpse will be misidentified"
EDIT:
"It is better to be called a crazy hoarder and not need than to need and not have"
EDIT:
"The person closest to you is more dangerous than you think"
EDIT:
"Chairman Mao say: 'Politics is war without bloodshed, while war is politics with bloodshed.'"
"Chairman Mao say: 'It is right to rebel'"
"Chairman Mao say: 'Strategically we should despise all our enemies, while tactically we should take them all seriously.'"
"Chairman Mao say: 'If you have to shit, shit! If you have to fart, fart! You will feel much better for it.'"
"Chairman Mao say: 'Maybe you're afraid of sinking. Don't think about it. If you don't think about it, you won't sink. If you do, you will.'"
"The only thing needed for evil to triumph is for good men to imagine that it exists somewhere"
"Nietzsche say: 'One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star'"
EDIT:
"GWAR say: 'Dedicate your life to porn'"
EDIT:
"In the land of the dead, the comatose man is king"
EDIT:
"Where there's a will there's a corpse"
"Nobody ever died wishing they'd spent more time at the office, except if they drowned at the beach"
"Neitzsche say: 'When a desire to obtain tyrannical power has been awakened in the soul, even a very mediocre talent becomes an almost irresistible force.'"
"Neitzsche say: 'He who lives by fighting with an enemy has an interest in the preservation of the enemy's life.'"
"Neitzsche say: 'When a man roars with laughter he surpasses all the animals by his vulgarity.'"
"Neitzeche say: 'We sometimes remain faithful to a cause merely because its opponents never cease to be insipid.'"
"Neitzsche say: 'There are people who wish to make human life harder for no other reason than to be able afterwards to offer men their life-alleviating religiosity'"
"Neitzsche say: 'Whoever thinks much is unsuitable for a partisan; his thinking leads him too quickly beyond the party.'"
"Neitzsche say: 'The disciples of a martyr suffer more than the martyr.'"
EDIT:
"Your butt can't get pregnant"
"Being a sociopath means never having to say you're sorry"
"Dying is easy, killing is hard"
"There is no greater pleasure than to crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women"
"Enjoy the good luck ritual sacrifice brings you"
"If summer comes can autumn be far behind?"
"The woman you desire is actually a man"
"Your shoe fetish will make you happy today"
"You will marry a loser"
"Beware the Ides of March"
"If winter comes can black ice be far behind"
"A heart bypass will prevent serious trouble"
"Nothing astonishes men so much as necromancy"
"Keep your eye out for the police"
"Lao Tzu say: 'Fortune telling is the beginning of folly'"
"Today it is up to you to create the trade war you long for"
"A chance meeting will cost you your wallet"
EDIT:
"Compliance will be rewarded"
"Dying is easy, murdering is hard"
"Time flies when you're blackout drunk"
"Never underestimate the extent of human cruelty"
"Death lasts forever"
"Life is beautiful, taking life is more beautiful"
"Qoheleth say: 'With an abundance of wisdom comes an abundance of grief'"
"When the shit hits the fan everyone gets covered"
"Ben Franklin say: 'Three may keep a secret if two of them are dead'"
"If you speak honestly people will judge your opinions"
"There is no cookie"
"Pain is just your soul leaving your body"
The flesh is very strong.
How am I not myself?
There goes your bliss.
"Your love is unrequited."
"Bad weather tomorrow. Invest in an inflatable raft."
"To receive antidote to poison cookie, tip waiter generously."
*Happiness lies not in having what you want but taking what you want
*Happiness lies in having what you want and misery lies in losing what you have
*One way to seem more learned is to hide your ignorance
If you hunger for enlightenment, try an ice cream koan.
Quote from: Al Qədic on January 17, 2019, 11:05:08 PM
If you hunger for enlightenment, try an ice cream koan.
:lulz: gonna remember that one!
Here we find paper scraps, found among the remnants of a dinner for a party of six at a local Chinese buffet. Three generations gathered for an Americanized meal, and while the greasy food was satisfactory, the heavy ink on a few slips of paper was apparently too much for the sensibilities of dear old Aunt Gertrude and her feeble heart. Yes, this is just a local Chinese buffet, where the investigation is ongoing, the cookie manufacturers are unavailable for comment, the kung pao is delicious, and mysteries abound. This is The Twilight Zone.
Cookie #1: "Everything you know is wrong."
Cookie #2: "Black is white."
Cookie #3: "Up is down."
Cookie #4: "Short is long."
Cookie #5: "Everything you thought was just so important doesn't matter."
Cookie #6: "All right Al, enough is enough. Give the trained fortune-cookie-fortune-writing monkey his typewriter back. This is your first warning. --Mr. Wheeler, head of HR"
With enough Prozac you can overcome any hardship