Messages

Seriously, didn't mean to fuck with your play house.

 Put that on the front page. I am actually a pretty decent guy, as far as that goes. I do have my moments but they do not include being a whipping boy because I did not put an intro in the right place. Seriously, I thought the site was good and decided to see what the forum was like. Since some jerk was here before me I get treated rather poorly as soon as I walk in.

Nice place. Do all newcomers get treated like this or did I violate a special name convention?

Look people, clearly I upset some people by being here and not appreciating being confronted and treated poorly upon arrival.

 I don't know who you guys are talking about. I want to apologize for being a bit confrontational. I was a bit put off by being confronted as soon as I walked in the door.

It is clear that there has been some problems here in the past and you people are a bit trigger shy. If it is all the same to you I will either sit quietly until you no longer think that I am somebody that I am not, or if that is not okay I will just move on down the road.

C'est la vie

Can we just skip to the end of this story?

No, this sort of thing has to be dragged through every gory step.  You know that.

It may take a while because I drink on occasion, just on occasion of course, but sometimes you just want to dump kerosene on everything and watch it burn. I don't of course, that would be crazy.
My descent into madness has been tempered by compulsive masturbation.

Dude I have been trying but just when I think I have seen the stupidest shit ever things keep happening.

 It is dude.

I have on occasion attempted to be funny but the whole thing with the chicken and the bacon grease just didn't hit people's funny bones the right way.
There are other plans that just won't really work out any more because I am sure homeland security or TSA is stalking me.

 I don't care what anyone says, tears don't make the best lubricant.

 I have never said or written anything funny in my life.

 I think I got it. Y'all got a sock puppet running around this place from time to time. It ain't me. So ease up on a MF so I can get comfortable here.

Nice to meet you folks and all that down home talk.

Side note:
Perhaps the name Alhazred is a joke all its own.

Hello,
I am Alhazred. You can call me Al, Haz, Red, Alred, Alhaz etc ad nauseum. It is good to be here.

Well, it's certainly good to meet someone for whom the introductions thread is not good enough.  I can't speak for everyone, but I - for one - am always excited when someone so obviously above the level of the hoi polloi comes along to grace us with their presence.

In addition, Mr. Alred, I am guessing from your name that you identify with a certain made up cosmology?  I certainly hope so, because that would be new.

Oh, yeah, and the pool's on the roof.

Oh my, it appears that I have stepped on something I should not. Unfortunately I don't have the words to explain how terrible I feel for not living up to your expectations. I prostrate myself before you and beg your forgiveness.

Hello,
I am Alhazred. You can call me Al, Haz, Red, Alred, Alhaz etc ad nauseum. It is good to be here.