Messages

Now spreading rumors that a Star Wars movie based entirely on Gungans is in the works.

I just got screamed at by a 400 pound "tuskan raider".

Life is good.

Even knowing you're full of shit...  I hate you.   

I like to think of myself as an artist.

Yeah...  I did a full-body shudder at the very concept.

Now spreading rumors that a Star Wars movie based entirely on Gungans is in the works.

I just got screamed at by a 400 pound "tuskan raider".

Life is good.

Even knowing you're full of shit...  I hate you.   

This...  This was a thing of truly horrible beauty.

"Yeah, you son of a bitch, but I am from BALTIMORE and I can BARELY SPEAK ENGLISH", he said as he swung from way down South, striking the janitor in the crotch with all of his strength.  There was a muffled "awwwww DAMN" from the other occupants of the room, which Jaxx ignored. 

I swear, the fact that all my favorite parts involve somebody getting nailed in the junk (and not in a FUN way) doesn't mean I hate men...

Spent yesterday starting to haul shit out of my apartment and into a storage unit.  LunaBF and Richter are officially awesome, and the spawn of LunaBF managed (with some difficulty) to avoid being locked into said storage unit and left to rot.  (I STILL say that if we'd just tied one into each futon mattress, it would have muffled the noise for long enough.)

I hurt, today.  Getting out of bed was an adventure.

Getting old is NOT for sissies.

"Friday, we have TALKED about gratuitous killing, have we not?"

"No, boss, YOU talked about it.  I just sat there and thought about unicorns and puppies.   You took that for assent."

  I love her.

I'll be in Austin until Tuesday. 

Everyone be cool.


The napalm is under the sink.

Because I got to it first.   

ALL I CAN FIND IS SCRATCH PROOF SPONGES.

WHYYYYY?

I should do some research before making sleep-deprived posts.

It's a fairly substantial penalty, as well.  Something like $2000 anually times the number of employees minus 30, and grows each year.

http://kff.org/infographic/employer-responsibility-under-the-affordable-care-act/

Hobby Lobby has about 21000 employees, -30 x2000 = $41,940,000 a year.

Never mind.

Substantial, yes...  However, I will point out that medical coverage that meets the regulations likely costs more than $2000/year per employee. That's what, less than forty bucks a week a head?  Yeah... considerably less than the cost of actually covering their employees.

Still gonna have a rationalist ending.

Anyone figure out exactly what's going on, yet?

Maybe.  But probably not.

He musta run outta Indiana.

Impossible.  Indiana is nothing but endless cornfields, broken up with the occasional soybean patch for "variety."  And one big, honking racetrack in the middle to keep the rednecks from slaughtering each other.

More later.

Oh, and apparently I have four new messages since changing my profile to say I'm not available.

"She's in a relationship now?  Oh yeah.  I love when they play hard to get."

  That seems to be the typical reaction. That, and getting hit on by married men. 

You're taken.  He's taken.  You have something in common!

How funny you would say that! The message I got today:

Wow. 

Yeah, you would think I was exaggerating, but nope. 

I swear I was at least half kidding...

More later.

Oh, and apparently I have four new messages since changing my profile to say I'm not available.

"She's in a relationship now?  Oh yeah.  I love when they play hard to get."

  That seems to be the typical reaction. That, and getting hit on by married men. 

You're taken.  He's taken.  You have something in common!

He's also just the worst lecturer ever. Ever. His soothing monotone is almost impossible to listen to, and his quizzes are TERRIBLE.

Ugh. I had a statistics class, once.  The professor literally stood in the exact same spot for the entire two hour class, droned on in a monotone, and I think the only time his expression actually changed was when a student was snoring so loud that the professor couldn't be heard over it.

What I don't get about the crying part of breaking up is why it requires so much energy. The amount of force my body puts into squeezing out tears and snot is just incredible. Especially the straining part of the process, where your face gets all wrenched up and you make the quiet "eeeeee" noise. Face, neck, torso: What are you guys even straining against? I mean, if I'm using that many muscles at once, at least I could be evacuating my bowels or coughing up a nice blob of phlegm—you know, something useful. I don't get it....

We are fighting ourselves and restraining our grief. For 'lo, it is unseemly and means you have a tiny dick in contemporary society. Or 20th century society, whichever. Also, all that fluid flying from our faces makes it hard to breathe, which we need to do regardless.

I am still waiting for the water works to start on my end. Mostly I'm just fucking exhausted. Like the day after a really long vacation involving lots of sun, shitty booze, and many time-zone changes.

Takes time, sometimes.  Other times, it comes right out of fucking nowhere and kicks you square in the 'nads.

You've had time to get used to the idea...  Sounds like you made the decision that it had to be done awhile back, so the sudden shock part of it isn't so bad, maybe.  The "ohthankgodthatsdonewith" bit isn't so bad, really.

Could be worse, I went through a Taylor Swift phase when the shit hit the fan with my douchebag.

I know where she is.  Inge has embraced Wicca.  Or Wicca.com, to be more precise.

NIGHT COMPLETE.   

I suppose sending them a nice fruit basket is out of the question...